Proverbs 31: A Model for Today's Woman

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Proverbs 31

A Model for Today's Woman

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Imagine a busy woman running a household, rushing to work, making business decisions, juggling meal planning and shopping, and volunteering her time for worthwhile causes, while radiating cheer to her children and charm to her husband.

Sounds like today's supermom, doesn't it? Actually, this wife, mother and pillar of the community was described nearly 3,000 years ago in the Bible. Women have been struggling with priorities and time management for millennia. The advice in the 31st chapter of the book of Proverbs, which talks about this supermom of old, is just as relevant today as it was then, because wisdom from God is timeless.

Proverbs 31 helps the process because it clarifies our priorities for us: God, family and career or community. These priorities may sound simple, but they are not always easy to follow.

Years ago, when I was a young wife and mother, I read this chapter for the first time and thought: Who is this superwoman? I'm not like that!

I have since come to realize that this passage is not the description of a woman who has had it all together from the start, but of a woman who has grown in character and spiritual maturity through life's experiences. Wisdom is not just timeless; it takes time.

Timeless wisdom comes from God, not from talk shows and trash TV. To achieve happiness, right character and success, women need down-to-earth advice to help them learn concrete lessons; they don't need illusions. Charm and beauty tips abound, but to find real help-to be competent in home, community and business-there is no better place to look than the Word of God.

Applying wisdom

The ideal place to learn wisdom is the home. Whether we work outside the home or not, our home should be our haven, a place where we can practice what we learn in the company of those closest to us. (Of course, women learn wisdom from all aspects of life in and out of the home. Many women may have to manage a full-time career outside the home.)

Home and family have always been the foundation of civilization. Solid, successful, loving families build stable neighborhoods, towns and cities that in turn form strong nations. Yet in newspapers or television newscasts you will see evidence of the breakdown of society. Something is terribly wrong when divorce, family dysfunction and delinquency are so common that they make boring headlines. So what is the solution? Can government programs solve our problems?

The Bible shows that the answers lie closer to home.

Pick your priorities

We all have 24 hours in each day. But we have different talents. Some of our strengths are obvious; others lie hidden. Wisdom applied properly can help us maximize our abilities.

Becoming an effective woman takes focused effort. Proverbs 31 can be a fundamental part of this effort, offering guidance to females who are single or married, have children, careers, or any combination of these.

Proverbs 31 helps the process because it clarifies our priorities for us: God, family and career or community. These priorities may sound simple, but they are not always easy to follow. If we lose sight of them, our lives quickly get out of whack. To exercise wisdom is to make wise and consistent decisions and properly balance sensible priorities.

Working outside the home is a reality for most women. Balancing a career and family makes for stressful living. That is why it is so important to remember our priorities and constantly review them.

What should be on our list of priorities? Let's get specific and see what this chapter of Proverbs tells us.

God, our Designer and Creator, should come first in our lives. Indeed, without His revelation we cannot even understand our purpose for existing.

To fulfill that purpose, first seek to become a woman of conviction, strong in character, who is striving to attain moral excellence. In other words, know and do what is right, even when no one is looking. Put God first and ultimately all else will fall into place. Neglect God's wisdom and things go wrong.

Remember, knowledge is of little value except as it is put into practice.

Build your family

A marriage is built on trust, loyalty and support, not arguments, nagging and criticism. Strong marriages are based on God's principles of love, respect, cooperation and teamwork. Take the we-are-a-team approach rather than following the 50-50, give-and-take arrangement that keeps rekindling the battle of the sexes.

Serving as an asset to your husband should not be demeaning. Stand by him, remembering that he is standing by you. Sometimes that isn't easy, and the world around us doesn't make it any easier. Instead of "until death do us part," society pushes no-fault divorce. Instead of 100 percent commitment, Hollywood sells the fantasy of temporary bliss and self- satisfaction. But a happy, lifelong marriage is well worth the effort.

Proverbs 31:10-12; Proverbs 31:23 and Proverbs 31:28 depict a situation in which a solid marriage leads to success in and outside the home.

Strive to be diligent and hardworking, and don't panic over trivial matters. When you have to burn the midnight oil, pace yourself. Don't burn out; find a routine and level that work for you. Tackle tough situations as they come up, and handle them without complaint or panic. Proverbs 31:13; Proverbs 31:18 and Proverbs 31:21 describe a woman who is motivated, industrious and confident in the face of challenges.

I remember a frigid winter morning when I awoke to find our sewer system had frozen solid and backed up. All the plumbers were busy, so my husband and I tackled the unpleasant job of thawing and flushing the pipes ourselves. What a mess, and what a smell! But the job had to be done. Our family was in trouble, so we had to do it. My husband later told me he gained new respect for me as I worked alongside him during that nasty emergency.

Abundant practical advice

Be a smart shopper. Bargain-hunt. Make ends meet by following a financial plan for the household. Avoid impulse buying, shop with a list, and don't buy groceries when you're hungry. Experiment. Maybe coupon clipping is a good idea, but perhaps a home-shopping channel is not. Principles that apply are discussed in Proverbs 31:14 and Proverbs 31:21.

Use your time wisely. The easiest way to add more time to the day is to rise early (Proverbs 31:15). Start the day with prayer and Bible study to put things in proper perspective. Plan the day, and make a little time just for yourself. Recharge your batteries with some peace and quiet. Don't let interruptions rule your life. Solicit help from the rest of the family. When Mom is relaxed and in control, the whole family benefits.

Working outside the home is a reality for most women. Balancing a career and family makes for stressful living. That is why it is so important to remember our priorities and constantly review them. Business acumen is vital. A Proverbs 31 woman deserves praise in her own right, for her own value and accomplishments, not merely as an extension of her husband (Proverbs 31:16; Proverbs 31:24; Proverbs 31:31).

Another vital key is also mentioned in this chapter: physical fitness (Proverbs 31:17). It's easy to resist hard work and getting enough exercise, but we need to take care of ourselves. The best way is to fit exercise you enjoy into your routine.

Hobbies are good stress relievers. Be creative. Try out new, enjoyable activities, either with the family or by yourself.

Volunteer as you are able. You'll be surprised at how much you can accomplish with relatively little effort and time. Just as important, teach your children the value of showing concern for others and helping them take care of their needs (Proverbs 31:20).

Home and family have always been the foundation of civilization. Solid, successful, loving families build stable neighborhoods, towns and cities that in turn form strong nations. 

Don't be obsessed with clothes, but be neatly and appropriately dressed. Our appearance speaks volumes before we ever say a word (Proverbs 31:22).

A good sense of humor helps. Life is short; enjoy it and cheerfully take things in stride (Proverbs 31:25). Avoid idleness; don't be a couch potato (Proverbs 31:27).

Formal education for all ages is much more widespread than it used to be. So continue educating yourself. Perhaps you need to read more, taking more interest in civic and volunteer activities. Practice helps us to speak with common sense and confidence, avoiding aggression or defensiveness (Proverbs 31:26).

The next generation

Society influences our children, but it doesn't nurture them. That's our job. No one is a perfect parent, but we can all improve. Books such as James Dobson's Dare to Discipline can help us see the big picture and the importance of practical child rearing based on biblical principles (Proverbs 31:28).

Wisdom dictates that we constantly review our priorities. Here's a case in point: I remember an ordinary day years ago when my boys came home from school and asked me to shoot basketball goals with them. I was tired and needed to dust the furniture before dinner guests arrived. Decisions, decisions, I thought. But then I decided: I'll always have dust. I won't always have the boys. So I took 15 minutes to shoot baskets with them.

I won't say that the reason our grown sons still call to ask our advice is because of that incident. But maybe it had an effect. I've learned one thing for sure: Each decision we make can have far-reaching consequences. Life is full of choices; wisdom helps us choose the better ones. I have constantly reminded the boys that if they don't learn from their mistakes, they are bound to repeat them.

Advantages of God's way

God's wisdom gives us insight many other people do not have. We learn from each other's example, so don't neglect advice from older women. We are known by the company we keep, so we need to surround ourselves with wise women of all ages. Let's share our hard-won gems of insight (Proverbs 31:29).

It may seem difficult to maintain a high standard, but it's worth the effort. The instruction in this chapter in the Bible is priceless. It's universal, timeless advice that encompasses many of life's circumstances. God wants us to become the best we can be (Proverbs 31:30).

Sound like a daunting task? Not necessarily, especially when we patiently move forward a step at a time. Proverbs 31 gives an outline of real priorities for becoming a complete, effective and successful woman. You may already have followed quite a few of the above principles; others may require major consideration and reorientation. Plenty of resources are available for in-depth study of this chapter, not to mention the rest of the book of Proverbs, but this brief review can get you started.

Who is the superwoman of Proverbs 31? With time and help from God, it could be you!


  • lacylee
    A relationship with GOD establishes a stable environment for families, marriages and any personal relationship with other individuals. Many people are falling away from basic morals, values and principals that are crucial to learn and know, in order to keep and teach our families how to live and love others with kindness and understanding. Rules and restrictions and limitations are necessary to teach children what is expected of them. They learn consequences for their behavior, which promotes a stable foundation for children that is stable and strong to learn by. Especially now with the decline in morals and values of changes taken place within society. What GOD teaches us in the BIBLE are the right building blocks that need to be lived by. We need to teach and show others, as well as, encourage and establish a wise wisdom of character, regarding what would be best for all mankind within the world. Families are the backbone of society based on a persons individuality that affects other people they encounter everyday establishing relationships within their lifetime. We need to refocus on the simple things in life. The ones that matter the most. GOD's DIRECTION.
  • heathersings
    Thank you for your article, Linda. I, as well, am studying and unpacking Proverbs 31 and came across your article. You're right, this super-woman of old had HELP. It's just one of the things I'm realizing. I also started reading a brand new book by Dr. Tony Evans and his daughter Chrystal Evans Hurst called "Kingdom Woman." Right off the bat they talk about the Proverbs 31 woman being the hallmark of kingdom women, "But the Proverbs 31 woman is not the model of a perfect woman. Neither is a kingdom woman called to perfection. Women, you can be a Proverbs 31 woman and more - but that doesn't mean you do it all at the same time." They talk about life flowing through seasons and about getting help, not trying to do it all. That's so right! Thank you for your perspective in your article. If you're interested in Dr. Evan's book, they have free downloads at **Link removed to comply with comment policy**
  • KARS

    Hi Ansah,
    Don't worry. With a prayer first you will find that a schedule for the whole week can make this easier. You can have one or two days for washing clothes, take naps short naps when the baby does (you'll wake up sooner than the baby)this will help you. I use Sundays to give our home a good cleaning that way the rest of the week is just touch up. On on our day of rest with the brethren of God church it's a day of fellowship and learning and just slowing down from the weeks longs chores and so forth.

    Thank you for this wonderful article Ms. Elliot.

  • Ansah

    My husband left the house for work today saying that I need to prioritise myself and pray more. How he knew I was secretly struggling with this I don't know! He suggested to read Proverbs 31. I did this and stumbled across this article which has shone some light on my situation. I've been a wife for 2 years and recently just had a baby, my household is chaotic because I always seem to have so much to do but never enough time to do it. Prayer went out the window too. Reading this has opened my eyes to the fact that being this 'super woman' takes time but you have to start somewhere. Also I think many women think this will happen naturally, well that's what I thought! bought it takes work and effort. Thanks for such an uplifting message and I pray that this is the beginning of a more balanced and blessed life.

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