World News and Trends: Divorce not the solution to most unhappy couples' problems
Recent dramatic losses on Wall Street are having an effect in an unusual quarter, discouraging many from going ahead with divorce.
Says a Wall Street Journal headline, "Matrimonial Lawyers Say Many Clients Can No Longer Afford to Get Divorced; There's Not Enough Money Left to Split" (The Wall Street Journal, July 24, "To Hold and No Longer Have: Stocks' Decline Roils Marriages").
More encouraging in the long term is a new study that shows that "splitting up doesn't increase happiness." A piece by syndicated columnist Mona Charen reported the results of a study by the Institute for American Values that showed that most unhappy couples do not become happier by going their separate ways.
"According to the survey conducted by a team of family researchers, unhappily married adults who divorced were no happier five years after the divorce than were equally unhappy marrieds who remained together. And two-thirds of unhappily married people who remained married reported that their marriages were happy five years later.
"Even among those who had rated their marriages as 'very unhappy,' nearly 80 percent said they were happily married five years later." The conclusion? Staying together and working through marital problems is the best way to go.
The study also included the surprising discovery that "unhappy spouses who divorced actually showed slightly more depressive symptoms five years later than those who didn't."
The study highlighted three ways in which couples can turn their marriages around.
"The first was endurance. Many couples do not so much solve their problems as transcend them. Moreover, these couples maintained a negative view of the effects of divorce. 'The grass is always greener,' explained one husband, 'but it's Astroturf.'
"Others were more aggressive. Those the researchers labeled the 'marital work-ethic' types [who] tackled their problems by arranging for more private time with one another, seeking counseling [from clergy or professionals], receiving help from in-laws or other relatives, or in some cases, threatening divorce or consulting a divorce lawyer.
"In the third category were the 'personal happiness seekers' who found other ways to improve their overall contentment even if they could not markedly improve their marital happiness."
Speaking of divorce, Jesus said, "what God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19:6). He makes it clear that God never intended that people divorce: "... From the beginning it was not so" (verse 8). It's been only 30 years since no-fault-divorce laws became the norm in the Western world, with the resultant unhappiness that accompanies the breakdown of family life. This is not the way God intended things to be.
Couples should commit to working through their marital problems and not follow the ways of this world. Follow God's law, not man's loopholes. (Sources: The Wall Street Journal, Lansing State Journal.)
An Article from:
Good News Magazine: September - October 2002
Course Content
John Ross Schroeder
John died on March 8, 2014, in Oxford, England, four days after suffering cardiac arrest while returning home from a press event in London. John was 77 and still going strong.
Some of John's work for The Good News appeared under his byline, but much didn't. He wrote more than a thousand articles over the years, but also wrote the Questions and Answers section of the magazine, compiled our Letters From Our Readers, and wrote many of the items in the Current Events and Trends section. He also contributed greatly to a number of our study guides and Bible Study Course lessons. His writing has touched the lives of literally millions of people over the years.
John traveled widely over the years as an accredited journalist, especially in Europe. His knowledge of European and Middle East history added a great deal to his articles on history and Bible prophecy.
In his later years he also pastored congregations in Northern Ireland and East Sussex, and that experience added another dimension to his writing. He and his wife Jan were an effective team in our British Isles office near their home.
John was a humble servant who dedicated his life to sharing the gospel—the good news—of Jesus Christ and the Kingdom of God to all the world, and his work was known to readers in nearly every country of the world.
Melvin Rhodes
Melvin Rhodes is a member of the United Church of God congregation in Lansing, Michigan.
Tom Robinson
Tom is an elder in the United Church of God who works from his home near St. Louis, Missouri as managing editor and senior writer for Beyond Today magazine, church study guides and the UCG Bible Commentary. He is a visiting instructor at Ambassador Bible College. And he serves as chairman of the church's Prophecy Advisory Committee and a member of the Fundamental Beliefs Amendment Committee.
Tom began attending God's Church at the age of 16 in 1985 and was baptized a year later. He attended Ambassador College in both Texas and California and served for a year as a history teacher at the college's overseas project in Sri Lanka. He graduated from the Texas campus in 1992 with a Bachelor of Arts in theology along with minors in English and mass communications. Since 1994, he has been employed as an editor and writer for church publications and has served in local congregations through regular preaching of sermons.
Tom was ordained to the ministry in 2012 and attends the Columbia-Fulton, Missouri congregation with his wife Donna and their two teen children.
