Your Most Fulfilling Life Is Happening Now

The tickets were hard to get. Seven months of waiting followed, and at last it was time. After a half-day road trip, my wife and I parked more than a mile away, walked to the football stadium in downtown Nashville, Tennessee, and waited for hours in the sweltering July heat. Shortly after the sun went down, in the still-heavy and humid nighttime air, the long-awaited moment arrived.

The stadium lights went dark, the walk-on music started, spotlights and laser beams pulsed in rhythm. Finally, the world-famous British rock band, Coldplay, took the stage and launched into their first song, as the now electrified crowd of around 60,000 fans came alive! What surprised me most were the large number of people who missed the full impact of that incredible moment, because they were busy trying to capture it on their phones.

Major miss! Bad trade. Such exceptional moments of immersive experience are few and far between. It was a good reminder that deep connections to the many fulfilling experiences life has to offer can only be formed by those who are fully engaged in the events of life, whether big or small. As this experience illustrated for me in a powerful way, there are multiple spheres of life where we can all benefit from becoming more present and less distracted. 

Before we go further, it’s important to define terms. The words “present” or “presence” have many uses in the English language. They are also used to describe religious concepts that originate in Buddhism and Hinduism. However, we intend only the straightforward meaning of relationship to time—the “present” is simply life now, during the time it happens, as opposed to the past or the future.

Striving to be fully engaged in the present as we go through life strongly aligns with biblical principles and living God’s way. Not only that, it helps us to have a greater depth of enjoyment and fulfillment in life, as God designed it! 

Be Present in Thought

Engagement in the present begins in our minds, with healthy patterns of choosing what and what not to think about. We can also frame it as deciding where to invest our focus and attention, and likewise where to withdraw and disengage it.

It’s easy to develop unhealthy thinking patterns that focus too much on things we can’t control, whether in the past or future (which decreases fulfillment), and too little on things that we can choose in the present (which increase fulfillment). As behavioral psychologist and author Nick Trenton writes in his book Stop Overthinking, our perception of the things that occur in our lives “comes down to how you interpret and understand that event, as well as how you actively engage with it, i.e., what choices you make.”

The apostle Paul was an outspoken advocate for the power of training our minds to focus on proper things. We always have the choice to direct our thoughts in the present, even in extremely difficult circumstances. He wrote, 

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8, English Standard Version).

When we practice this mindset, patiently and with perseverance, it sets a trajectory and builds patterns that allow us to become more aware of the blessings and benefits God provides in our lives. Navigating difficulties with God’s help teaches us resilience and strength.

To help make this mindset practical for the realities that we live in, remember that it’s not healthy to simply ignore life outside of the present moment. There are times and places to focus on positive memories or lessons learned from the past, along with goals, plans and hopes for the future. To do this productively and avoid anxiety, link these things back to the choices that you can make today. As Jesus said: 

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” (Matthew 6:34).

Be Present in Experience 

Returning to our memorable concert story, I do want to clarify that campaigning against mobile phones isn’t my goal. If you were wondering, yes, I definitely took a few pictures myself, and a short video during one of the songs. Preserving memories has value too, but not at the expense of missing out on the primary experience. We can all practice choosing the moments that we fully experience and the moments that we capture wisely.

Quite interestingly, even the band was quite aware of the toll that phones take on audience participation at their shows. Before playing one of their hit songs, lead singer Chris Martin invited everyone in the stadium to join them in performing it as “one big band” by keeping “phones in your pockets, hands in the air.” Nearly everyone did, and the difference was quite memorable, as 60,000 phoneless fans jumped, danced and sang along together.

The powerful, transferable lesson is to choose to be present wherever you are, and in whatever you’re doing. Whether you’re experiencing beauty, relaxation, entertainment, connection, achievement or rest, allow yourself to be fully engaged in it. Allow yourself to fully metabolize it and gain its true value. Otherwise, it will become a half-felt and quickly-forgotten experience.

Ironically, as marketing author and expert Ryan Holiday observes in his book Stillness Is the Key, benefiting from what we’re experiencing at any given moment often requires allowing ourselves to be a bit uncomfortable: “Don’t reject a boring or difficult moment because it is not exactly what you want. Don’t waste a beautiful moment because you are insecure or shy. Make what you can of what you have been given. Live what can be lived.” 

This very much aligns with God’s advice on life through the author of Ecclesiastes, who wrote, 

“It is good and fitting for one to eat and drink, and to enjoy the good of all his labor in which he toils . . .” (Ecclesiastes 5:18). 

As he later writes, we’ll miss out on that enjoyment if we aren’t both present and intentional, because “All the labor of man is for his mouth, and yet the soul is not satisfied . . . Better is the sight of the eyes than the wandering of desire” (6:7, 9). Put simply, it’s a lot better to enjoy what’s in front of you than to wish for something else!

Be Present in Relationships

In his book The Paradox of Choice, which explores the relationship between choice and fulfillment in life, professor and author Barry Schwartz writes about the investment required to develop meaningful relationships: “Being socially connected takes time . . . To form a real relationship with someone, or to develop a romantic attachment, we have to get to know the other person quite deeply. Only in Hollywood do such attachments come instantly and effortlessly. And close attachment, not [shallow connection], is what people most want and need.” As he goes on to explain, maintaining a relationship with depth takes as much time and effort as forming it!

These types of relationships—lasting friendships, healthy marriages, enduring family bonds—are only possible when we choose to be fully present during the conversations, experiences and time that we share with one another. As an ultimate relationship model, Jesus described the deep and continuing relationship that He desires to have with us as “abiding” with Him.

To describe this, He used the example of branches on a grapevine, which are completely connected with and fully dependent on the vine that they are attached to: 

“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit . . .” (John 15:5). 

The Blue Letter Bible’s online concordance shows that the word “abide” indicates remaining both present and engaged, with full commitment to developing a relationship.

We can extend the principle of abiding in our most important relationships with God the Father and Jesus Christ. Relationships are designed to enrich our lives deeply with love, shared experience, companionship, support, teaching and learning. The more we practice genuine engagement with one another, the more of these benefits we will gain!

Fulfillment Through Engaging in Now

Practice making choices that create meaningful connections—don’t miss out on them! While there are many forces in our lives that can easily divert our attention, it’s empowering to remember that distractions do not get to choose what we focus on! God has given us the power of choice, and we can use it, both for our own good and for the good of others. To gain the benefits of fulfillment available in life as God designed it, choose to be present in thought, experience and relationships, remaining engaged in life as it happens—you won’t regret it.