Chosen to Stand Out

by Becca Perkins

Have you ever felt like you just don’t belong? Like no matter how hard you try, you don’t quite fit in at school, church, on your team, or online? Don’t feel like you’re alone; many teens struggle with the feeling of being out of place. In a world full of teen influencers and trends, we feel pressured to try to fit in. You might start wanting to seem “normal,” making you lose your confidence in who you are. It’s easy to start thinking you have to change to be accepted. 

But here’s the truth: we were never made to fit in. We were made to stand out and be a light to this world. Your value is not higher because you have popular friends. Your worth comes from something deeper and more powerful: who God says you are. And when we begin to see ourselves like God sees us, our confidence starts to grow. The Bible is not silent about this. In Ephesians 2:10, it says, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” This verse is telling us that God made us, and He is our Maker. These verses are very hope-filled and give us a boost of confidence. 

You were made with purpose

Jeremiah 1:5 says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations.”

While this verse is specific to Jeremiah’s role, it is a powerful reminder that you are not a person who should be trying to fit in. Before your parents ever held you in their arms, God already knew you. God designed us with care and with a purpose for life and love. 

It might be tempting to act like someone you’re not in order to fit in, but you doing that is just making it harder to grow into the person God created us to be. The confidence rolls in when we start to love who God made us to be. God made the stars and the oceans and He also made us. We are valuable and we are needed to grow in the earth, so we can be sons and daughters in Christ. 

God has a plan for you

Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and hope.” This verse is telling us how great God’s plan is! Life gets very confusing and lonely. Have you ever thought of saying “why am I going through this?” or “Why is it me who always gets put through trials?” Well, you are not alone in this journey because God never forgot about you. A verse that actually states this is Isaiah 43:2: “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.” This verse is very important because we always want to know if God is with us. In fact, God is looking down at you right now and He is just so proud of who you have become. 

It’s easy to want to compare your life to someone else’s “perfect life.” Maybe someone you know has more confidence than you, or they seem like they have more friends. God does not make mistakes in our story. Your chapter of life in your story does not have to fit in the line of someone else’s. Be confident that God is watching over you and He will be with you! 

When we stop chasing the approval of someone, we can start trusting God’s plan for us and we will begin to live in something called peace. Even if your path is bumpy or has some work ahead, that doesn’t mean that you should throw away your confidence. If you walk the road ahead with faith, that’s where your confidence will grow. Trusting our God will help us believe the future is in good hands.

Your differences are your gifts

1 Corinthians 12:4-6 says “There are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are differences of ministries, but the same Lord. And there are diversities of activities, but it is the same God who works all in all.”

We don’t have to worry about being like someone else to be important. God made each of us different in some way. God never looked at you and wished you were someone else. In the passage, Paul talked about how God gives different gifts to different people. People can be good at so many different things, but you have to remember your attributes! I get told a lot that I’m a very outgoing person and I care about people. For example, one week I wrote Sabbath notes and gave them out to people I did not even know; those little things light up someone’s day. Just because someone is loud or outgoing does not mean the person who is quiet is not as valuable. We need both loud and quiet people in this world!

Maybe you are not athletic, but you can paint, or you are not loud, but you are quiet and like to write. Sometimes you might feel awkward in groups, but that's okay! What makes you different is what God might want people to be impacted by. When you focus on yourself, you start to discover your gifts, and that is just gorgeous.

Fitting in isn’t worth losing yourself

Fitting in is a hard thing, but just imagine if it was easier? You don’t have to worry about getting judged, or you don’t have to stand out. One thing I have learned is that fitting in often means shrinking who you are! It means hiding yourself and pretending to be someone you are not. Trying to fit in might be nice, but it will be good for the short term, not the long term. After a while, you start feeling empty. 

When God called you, He wanted you to be bold, not to be someone else. It might mean you need to stand out sometimes. A lot of teens want to please people, but they always go down a hole where they lose themselves trying to please someone, putting so much effort in, while the person they seek to impress isn’t doing anything. When you live for popularity, you forget about God, but when you live for God, you might lose some followers—but you find real confidence, peace and purpose. You will find the right people, and they will respect you for being real and upfront.

How to Grow Confidence

You might have some thoughts on all of this and how to actually apply this into your life. There are some tips on how to get real confidence. 

1. Spend time with God.
   Spending time with God is one of the most valuable and important things. Once you get to know Him, you get to know yourself!
2. Reading the Bible regularly.
   God’s word will shape you into such an amazing person, and you will see the difference.
3. Stop comparing yourself.
   Your story is supposed to be different from others. Don’t try copying and pasting someone else’s story because that will get you nowhere.
4. Use your gifts.
   Whether it is just smiling or singing at church, use that gift of yours.
5. Find your people.
   It might take a while to find the real people in life, ones you can truly trust and count on, but it’s worth it—I promise.

Now I’m warning you: confidence does not come quickly; you have to grow with it during your life. It will grow and grow, giving you the courage to accomplish more things.

Closing Words

My journey with confidence is still going. I still struggle with stuff, and that’s okay, because we’re not all perfect. Remember that you were created with a purpose, and you don’t need to fit in all the time because God chose you—and only you—to be yourself.

Don’t waste your time trying to be someone else because you should be confident in the one you have right now. Don’t seek approval from people: seek approval from the One who made you. God loves us no matter what, and we were never made to fit in, but we were made to be a light to this world. Let yourself shine and be the bright light the world needs right now.