Ephesians Part 32
To submit to one another in marriage is to submit to Him. It is an act of reverence, born not from weakness but from strength—the strength of humility and faith.
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22).
Paul’s instruction here has often been misunderstood or misapplied, but its heart is profoundly spiritual. Submission does not imply inferiority, nor does it erase individuality or worth. Instead, it reflects the divine order God established in creation, an order that mirrors the relationship between Christ and His Church. The calling for a wife to submit to her husband “as to the Lord” elevates this relationship to a sacred plane. It is not merely a social arrangement but a spiritual one, designed to express the unity, peace and mutual devotion that God intended from the beginning.
God is a God of order, not of confusion. The husband’s role as head of the wife is one of authority, but also of great responsibility, care and love. This authority is not self-appointed; it is God-ordained. It should never resemble tyranny, domination or control. Rather, it should reflect Christ’s own leadership, marked by service, sacrifice and tenderness. When Paul calls husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, he is setting before them a staggering standard. Christ gave everything for His bride, holding nothing back, even His own life. The husband, then, is called to that same posture of self-giving love, to bear burdens, to lead with gentleness, and to honor the one entrusted to him by God.
The world around us often distorts or dismisses this divine pattern. In seeking to do away with God, modern culture has tried to dismantle the roles He has designed. Masculinity is weakened, femininity is redefined, and the complementary roles of male and female are replaced with competition. Yet, from the beginning, mutual dependency was woven into the fabric of creation. Man and woman were made for one another, each possessing unique strengths that complete and balance the other. With authority comes accountability, and with submission comes honor and trust. When both husband and wife live according to God’s pattern, their relationship becomes a picture of harmony, one of unity, respect, and love that reflects the very character of Christ and His Church.
Authority originates with God and is delegated to human beings. Submission to that authority is a humble recognition of God’s authority. In the same spirit, he reminds us that wives submit to husbands, children obey their parents, and servants obey their masters as to the Lord. In each case, the submission is not merely to a person but ultimately to God. To submit to those whom God has placed in positions of responsibility is, in effect, to submit to Him. It is an act of reverence, born not from weakness but from strength, the strength of humility and faith.
What God through creation has established, no culture can destroy. This truth, affirmed both in Scripture and throughout history, speaks to the permanence of God’s design. The relationship between husband and wife was established before the fall of man, rooted in the very act of creation. In Genesis 2, woman was made from man, fashioned by God to be his helper and companion. After sin entered the world, these roles became distorted, often resulting in exploitation and resentment. Yet in Christ, the relationship is redeemed and restored. The wife’s submission and the husband’s love together reestablish the proper balance of authority and tenderness, responsibility and grace.
Man and woman are equal before God, equally valued, equally loved, and equally capable of spiritual growth and glory, but they are not the same. Their differences are not defects but designs, intended to complement one another in function and purpose. Christianity has consistently elevated the dignity of women, affirming their worth and agency in a world that often demeaned them. Christ Himself honored women, spoke to them with compassion, and included them among His followers. Where His teachings have taken root, societies have been transformed. Women have been respected, children valued, and human life itself has been regarded as sacred.
As Christ is the head of the Church, so the husband is to be the head of his wife. This is not a position of superiority but of stewardship. It is a calling to love as Christ loved, to serve as Christ served, and to lead with the humility of one who knows he is accountable to God. The wife’s response, then, is not one of fear or subservience, but of trust and grace, a willing alignment with the order God has ordained.
Peter echoes this when he writes,
“Husbands, likewise, dwell with [your wives] with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7).
This verse reminds us that both husband and wife are heirs together of God’s promises. The husband’s leadership and the wife’s submission are not competing forces but complementary movements in a single symphony of love and faith.
Ephesians 4:15-16 paints a broader picture of this unity:
“Speaking the truth in love, [we] may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ—from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.”
Just as the body depends on the harmony of its members, so too does a marriage flourish when love and respect intertwine.
And lest anyone misuse Paul’s words to justify harm or oppression, it must be stated plainly that submission never requires acceptance of illegal acts, abuse, humiliation or exploitation. Such behavior is not leadership; it is sin. God’s design calls for honor, protection and mutual respect. True biblical headship values, uplifts and safeguards; it never degrades or destroys.
UYA Team | uya@ucg.org
United Young Adults (UYA) primarily serves the 18–32-year age group for the United Church of God. There are three main areas of contribution to the lives of the young adults: Promoting Spiritual Growth, Developing Meaningful Relationships and Making the Most of Your Talents. The Know Your Sword series is a daily expository message introducing God’s Word from a trusted perspective.
