Adultery: The Price and the Prevention

I have a news item, a news article here, came out a little over eight years ago. I want to read to introduce the topic today. This is from Newser, Newser website, September 12th, 2012. The commander of a nuclear submarine tried to concoct an ingenious plan to get himself out of the jam, but the hunt for Red October was not. The Navy says that Commander Michael Ward II tried to end an affair by sending a fake email from a guy named Bob to his mistress saying that he had been killed, reported the Associated Press. The airtight plan began to unravel when she, the mistress, showed up at his, that's Commander Ward's residence, as a friend to offer her condolences and obviously found him at his home. As a result, the Navy relieved Ward as commanding officer of the USS Pittsburgh, a position he had held for a week. And he also was in jeopardy being booted out of the Navy on a slew of related military violations. The unidentified mistress told the Connecticut newspaper the day that the Married with Children Ward sent a fake email to her when she told him she had gotten pregnant. She then stated, I don't want revenge, I just want everyone to know the truth about Michael. Well, that's an unpleasant story, and yet it is a rather common story that we hear in our society. If I were to throw out names and ask you what is a common denominator? There's evangelist Jimmy Swaggart, there's golfer Tiger Woods, former President Bill Clinton. There was, a number of years ago, General David Petraeus. We won't even pick on our most recent mayor in the largest city in Alaska. But the common denominator would be that all of these have been guilty of and had very high profile stories where they were caught in adultery, or infidelity, or call it unfaithfulness, or better yet, call it what it is, and that is sin.

It is only a matter of time until we will once again hear very disturbing news that a high profile personality or someone, every and every day that we may know, who has committed adultery, most of the time we will have thought that this person was totally devoted to their wife or their husband and their family. Tragically, as we probably are all aware, sometimes we hear of this in the Church of God. Even more tragically at times, it is an elder in the church, the deacon, a local leader. On too many times, the adulterer or adulterous ends up leaving their spouse and children, leaving their family, to go off somewhere to live in sin. Questions that arise are, what were they thinking? Or, how could they do this to their spouse and children? Or, how could they turn their back on the God who gave us the laws of marriage? Adultery is a topic I don't want to talk about, but once in a while we must. It is one of the commandments, and we have to speak about every one of them. It's an unpleasant topic, but we need to be reminded that there's a terrible price involved for those who go down that path. And also, we need to be reminded there are ways to prevent that. And any of us who is married should be every day taking steps to prevent the fact that adultery would come home to roost in your own marriage. In any congregation of God's people, there will be those who attend who perhaps have traveled this road. The sermon is not embarrassed, is not intended to embarrass anyone. It is not intended to single anyone else, anyone out. It is merely to teach the truth of God regarding marital fidelity. The title of today's sermon is this. Adultery. The Price and the Prevention.

We begin in the Ten Commandments. So let's look at Exodus 20, verse 14. You probably know it by heart already. Exodus 20, verse 14. You shall not commit adultery. Very plain, very understandable. There's nothing unclear about God's position on the matter. The Sermon on the Mount. Though, Jesus took this Seventh Commandment, and then he expanded it. Many times, a number of times, in the Sermon on the Mount, he would say, you have heard of old time, you shall not kill. And then he showed the greater spiritual intention behind those words. He did that as well with adultery. Let's notice in Matthew 5, reading verses 27 and 28. Matthew 5, verses 27 and 28. Jesus said, you have heard that it was said to those of old, you shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So it has to do with the intention, with the thoughts of the mind, the intention behind those words, you shall not commit adultery. For guidance in this, in addressing this topic, we're going to go and spend quite a bit of time looking at some of the words that God inspired to be written by a man you might think would be the last person we would ever want to listen to on this topic. The man who had hundreds of wives. Apparently, though, God thought otherwise because God thought it best that Solomon speaks on the topic of adultery and marital infidelity. We're going to spend quite a bit of time in the book of Proverbs now, so I ask you to go with me to Proverbs chapter 5. Chapters 5 and 6 have a great deal to address regarding this topic. In Proverbs 5, in the early verses, Solomon gives a warning.

He gives a warning. He lays out a description of the bitter end result, but then he also then goes in the next verses to the price a person pays, and then finally to some of the steps for preventing marital infidelity. I'm going to read a lot of this from the Proverbs from the Amplified Bible, but you can certainly follow along, and the King James, New King James rather, has it well translated as well. The Amplified, I wouldn't trust it in many areas of doctrine, but in some of the Proverbs, Psalms, and many of the stories, it truly adds a lot to think about. Proverbs 5 verse 1, My son, be attentive to my wisdom. Godly wisdom, learned by actual and costly experience, and incline your ear to understanding of what is becoming imprudent for you. That you may exercise proper discrimination and discretion, and your lips may guard and keep knowledge and the wise answer to temptation. For the lips of a loose woman drip honey as a honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil. But in the end, she is bitter, as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged and devouring sword. Her feet go down to death, her steps take hold of sheol, Hades, the place of the dead. She loses sight of and walks not in the path of life. Her ways wind about aimlessly, and you cannot know them. That's a depressing picture that is painted. But it is a vividly accurate picture, far too often of the end result when adultery enters a marriage. Now, throughout Solomon's writings, let's remember that he is writing from the point of view of a father to his son, in many of the Proverbs. We realize there's the other side of the coin, because as he said that the lips of the loose woman drip honey. We all realize that a man looking for what he's looking for will say just about anything to get what he wants. So it's not singling out one gender, but it's an application that goes to both genders. We continue in the next verses with Solomon laying out the price a person will pay for going down the path of adultery. The price that is paid is in the form of your wealth, your money. It is also in the form of your physical health, possibly. Yet also, another price is your mental, emotional, spiritual health. And then finally, your reputation. Your reputation may never be the same again if it goes public.

So let's begin with this. Adultery can cost you your wealth. That's the first price Solomon speaks of. In verse 7, Now therefore my sons, listen to me and depart not from the words of my mouth. Let your way in life be far from her and come not near the door of her house. Avoid the very scenes of temptation. And then he says in verse 9, first half, first half, lest you give your honor to others. And there are a number of times honor is used in reference to what a person possesses and acquires and essentially the sum total of their wealth. Verse 10, lest aliens be filled with your wealth and your labors go to the house of a foreigner.

We lived in Alabama for 11 years. Many of those years, my wife Denise worked in managing the office of a small family law firm. And with family law, you oftentimes had cases that came where individuals were seeking to be divorced. Other times there were child custody, all kinds of things. Oftentimes it was not pleasant. But she was aware of the prices that were charged. The retainer, so if you want to go and hire someone who specializes in family law, the retainer is $3,000, at least it was a few years ago. You have to, out of your pocket, give them $3,000. Now they start counting the hours they're working on your case. They're charging that at $250 or $300 an hour. If that lawyer gets $300 an hour, they work on your case 10 hours and that retainer is gone. And what happens then? You have to ante up with more money. More money or the work on your case stops. Divorces commonly cost $10,000 when there were a few complications. And some of the highly contested ones among couples who had some wealth, it could pass $50,000 to pursue the legal proceedings that lead in a divorce. So no wonder Solomon looked at this and wrote that others will be filled with your wealth. So that's the first price is money. Wealth. The second one he addresses is your physical health.

Let's pick up the latter half of verse 9. Verse 9, the latter half, and your years to the cruel one. Well, think about it. If your finances are destroyed and you reach your senior years and you need to go back to work, or you need to take extra work just simply to survive, you may take whatever job you're happy to find. Then he went on in verse 11, Amplified version says, and you groan and mourn when your end comes, when your body, when your flesh and body are consumed. Now something else I don't like to talk about are sexually transmitted diseases. There are words I'm about to say. I don't even like to say them. I don't like to hear about them, but it is just part and parcel of choosing to go down the path of sin. There are bacterial sexually transmitted diseases such as chlamydia, syphilis, gonorrhea, these often times are transmitted by immoral behavior. God's law is such that if people would just try God's law and live by it, they have so much freedom of mind. The intention of God is for a man and a woman to find each other, discover each other, be brought together, enter marriage, having saved themselves from marriage and being completely, totally faithful to each other within that marriage, and they never have any reason to fear sexually transmitted diseases. There are viral viral STDs. These would be genital herpes, hepatitis B, HIV positive, and then full-blown AIDS. There are things man can do to help mute some of the symptoms, but these are incurable at this point.

Sexually transmitted diseases can literally eat away at a body. Too many times individuals find later in life when they want to have a family, they find they cannot because of some scarring and things that have taken place. So that's Solomon's second price that he lists. Infidelity can be an assault on your health, and we're not even talking about the things like high blood pressure and anxiety and other things that can go along with just going through the trauma of having a marriage go down. The third area, third price Solomon lists, is mental, emotional, spiritual health. I'll lump that all in there together. Mental, emotional, spiritual health.

You would be filled with self-recrimination. self-recrimination, kicking yourself. Why didn't I listen? Why didn't I follow what I know God tells me to do? Solomon continues in verse 12, And how say you how I hated instruction and discipline, and my heart despised reproof. I have not obeyed the voice of my teachers, nor submitted and consented to those who instructed me. And so after the fact, after the sin, after the mistake, after paying some prices, we add this one on as well. The person begins remembering what parents taught them, what teachers, pastors, friends, speakers in church services may have reminded them of many, many times, and they ignored that and went on. As you recall, as the person who is guilty recalls the violent effects of infidelity, the impact it has on a spouse, and usually on children, and children are the ones who suffer the worst. You begin, again, recriminating, berating your own stupidity.

All that was given up for a few minutes of a cheap thrill, and it haunts you forever. We'll come back to Proverbs, but in Malachi 2 verse 16, God tells us what He thinks about divorce, because a lot of times that's where infidelity ends up. There are beautiful cases. There are people we have known. I have the greatest respect for them. Whenever adultery drove a wedge between them, but then they've been able, with the help of God, with a lot of forgiveness, a lot of the strength of God's Spirit, they've been able to rebuild, to reconcile, and go on with life together. But those cases are far too few, frankly. Amplified on verse 16, Malachi 2, for the Lord. The God of Israel says, I hate divorce and marital separation, and Him who covers His garment, referring to His wife, with violence. Therefore, keep a watch upon your Spirit, that it may be controlled by my Spirit, God says, that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly with your marriage mate. So, again, think of the impact that the trauma does to your body. Blood pressure, anxiety, depression, some even thoughts of suicide. But spiritually, your conscience, what was it that said in the King James about the prodigal son, when he came unto himself. Spiritually, when your conscience wakes up, it eats away at peace of mind. Now, we'll see later. The good news is, there's forgiveness. God will forgive when we repent. And then number four, the fourth price that is paid by adultery, is a cost to your reputation. Back to Proverbs 5 again. Proverbs 5 verse 14, Solomon wrote, I was on the verge of total ruin in the midst of the assembly and congregation. The amplified, the extent and boldness of my sin, involved almost all evil in the estimation of the community. Interesting. These things generally don't take place off in a corner.

Human nature is curious. It may assume, assume that, well, nobody will know. Well, there's a scripture we'll see later. Back in Numbers, your sin will find you out. It will find you out. And all along. God knows. And you know. Let's go to chapter 6 now. Proverbs 6 will begin in verse 27.

Here Solomon is writing about the view other people take toward. They do not view the sin of adultery lightly. So verse 27, can a man take fire in his bosom and his clothes not be burned? It's a very clear analogy. If you take some hot coals, you hold them up close to you, you're going to start getting, setting your clothing on fire. It's just what is going to happen.

Can one go upon hot coals and his feet not be burned? Obviously the same. Your feet are going to get burned. So he who cohabits with his neighbor's wife will be tortured with evil consequences and just retribution. He who touches her shall not go innocent or unpunished. Verse 30, men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy himself when he is hungry. But if he is found out, he must restore seven times what he stole. He must give the whole substance of his house, if necessary, to meet the fine. But whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks heart and understanding. He who does it is destroying his own life. And to that I would add in several others. Several others. Verse 33, wounds and disgrace he will get in his reproach will not be wiped away, for jealousy makes the wronged man furious. Therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance upon the detected one. You might consider the question, can a person be trusted who lies to his or her spouse? Can they be trusted? It's a beautiful thing about trust. It can be rebuilt over time if you're given the chance. And I would say from experience that's a big if. But what does infidelity do to your work reputation if the stories spread? If you work for a company where they have a position they need to advance someone from within the company. And they have two employees of similar records, similar results from their work.

The one is a dedicated man or woman to their family. They're married, they have children, they're just the picture of a happy family. And then you have the other one. Who's married with kids too. But then there are these stories. And these stories spread, and these stories tend to mushroom and to be glamorized over time. Which person is that company going to choose? Because if the person will cheat on his or her spouse, will they not cheat on the company? And if the person who is faithful is faithful to their family, will they not be faithful to the company? Unfaithfulness eats away at a reputation.

So adultery, Solomon says, can destroy your wealth, your physical health, your whole mental, emotional, spiritual well-being, and your reputation. Forgiveness is possible if you're given a chance. It's been a lot of years now. 20, what, 25 years or thereabouts, maybe a little more.

We had a president in the 1990s. His reputation was not very good. And Mr. Clinton had an affair that he finally, finally had to admit to with an intern in the White House. At that time, the senator who was the leader of the Senate was Trent Lott. And I remember at that time when the Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky story was raging. Mr. Lott said, if I would ever even think of doing something like that, the last words I would hear as I lie in our kitchen floor in a growing pool of my own blood, I would hear my wife say, how do I reload this thing?

Receiving a second chance is not a given. I should not take that for granted. A spouse may absolutely refuse to ever consider forgiving and reconciling. Let's go again. We'll come back to Proverbs, but let's look in 1 Corinthians 6, beginning in verse 9. I think we need to take heart that there is some good news here. God is not in the business of giving us what we deserve.

And since all of us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, we are so grateful for that. God is in the business of giving forgiveness. He is all about grace.

But in 1 Corinthians 6, beginning in verse 9, we read this again. I'll read from the Amplified Bible. Do you not know that the unrighteous and the wrongdoers will not inherit or have any share in the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived or misled. Neither the impure and immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor those who participate in homosexuality, nor cheats, swindlers, greedy grasps, drunkards, goes through a long list. Extortioners and robbers will inherit or have any share in the kingdom of God. Notice verse 11, And such some of you were once, but you were washed clean, purified by a complete atonement for sin, and made free from the guilt of sin, and you were consecrated and set apart, you were justified, pronounced righteous by trusting in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Holy Spirit of our God.

So, again, the good news is God is in the business of forgiving. When we deal with a human relationship and the most intimate is that of marriage, there's no guarantee you'll get your chance. You might be forgiven and yet still have no reconciliation. We look at what Solomon lays out in the first half of this chapter and we realize it's far better to take to heart what he's about to say, and that is how to prevent adultery from darkening the door of your marriage. So let's go back to Proverbs 5, and this time Solomon addresses how to prevent it, and he basically breaks it down into two aspects, and that is love your spouse, and then on the other hand, love your God.

Love your spouse, love your God. Proverbs 5 verse 15, amplified version, drink waters out of your own cistern. Now, what are we talking about here? Well, we're not talking about water. We're talking about marital relations. Drink waters out of your own cistern, of a pure marriage relationship, and fresh running waters out of your own well. Should your offspring be dispersed abroad as water brooks in the streets? Confine yourself to your own wife. Let your children be for you alone, and not the children of strangers with you. Again, unpleasant to even think about, but we probably have all known people where children are born in the family, and then things happen, and it's not a child from that man and woman married together.

Verse 18, let her fountain of human life be blessed with the rewards of fidelity, and rejoice in the wife of your youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant doe, gentle, tender, attractive. Let her bosom satisfy you at all times, and always be transported with delight in her love. Now, in Ecclesiastes chapter 9, reading verse 9, Solomon wrote, Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life, which he God has given you unto the Son. So, live joyfully with your own wife, all your life. In our marriage ceremony in the church, it quotes from a number of scriptures, in part, it quotes from the Apostle Paul in Ephesians 5.

He reminds the men, You are to love your wives. Husbands love your wives, even as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it. A little later, verse 28, he said, So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies.

He who loves his wife loves himself. The Apostle Paul also wrote to Titus, speaking to Titus, and this is Titus 2, verse 4, he's telling the older women what they ought to be teaching the younger women. And one of the things he mentioned was that they, the older women, would admonish the young women to love their husbands and love their children. I think one of the greatest things we can do to safeguard our marriage is listen to each other. Far too many times, there will be a complaint that, well, he never listens to me, or, well, she doesn't listen to me, she doesn't respect me.

There's a void there. If you're not the one listening, someone else will. And then there's this emotional void, this need that is being filled by someone else. It may seem so harmless, and yet one step leads to the next and the next. A term that I've heard for many years now is called emotional infidelity. Emotional infidelity. And that's what they're referring to here. Someone else filling the need of listening to your spouse.

Back to Proverbs 5. Proverbs 5, this time verse 20. Why should you, my son, be infatuated with a loose woman, embrace the bosom of an outsider and go astray? A person's true character is revealed in part by their morality, their sense of morals.

If a person commits adultery one time, they're more likely to commit it another time. If in dating, he or she is what is called easy before marriage, how do you know they won't be easy with others before or during marriage?

So Solomon says, be enraptured, ravaged, in love of your own spouse. And you know, love is something that is a decision. It is a conscious decision that we make before God and before witnesses. To devote ourselves and love to that one person till death do we part. It is a choice. There are times when that love is broken down. The beautiful thing is that if you're given the chance again, you can be rekindled. It can be relearned. But marital love is very clearly in the Word of God to be exclusive. One man, one woman, no one else ever. Because marriage is built on trust and fidelity and love and friendship. Solomon's second point on prevention is loving God. As we look at these, it probably dawns on us that we're talking about the two great commandments. As Jesus gave them, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind. And love your neighbor as yourself. And of course, the closest neighbor in that sense any of us has is our own spouse. In Proverbs 5, beginning in verse 21, verse 21, For the ways of man are directly before the eyes of the Lord, and he who would have us live chastely, soberly, and godly, carefully ways all man's goings. His own iniquities shall ensnare the wicked man, and he shall be held with the cords of his own sin. He will die for lack of discipline and instruction, and in the greatness of his folly he will go astray and be lost. But as you remember, Mr. Regoord covered some time back three of the the Omni-turns that refer to God. God is omniscient. He's all-knowing. And sin will be known. Sin is known. And that's even sin when it's in the mind. As Jesus said, if you look at another person, not your own spouse, with desire. In Proverbs 15, verse 3, we read, The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good. It's also good to be reminded of what God inspired to be written in the book of Hebrews. Hebrews 13, verse 4. Hebrews 13, verse 4, there is a judgment for those who commit this sin. Verse 4, Marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Verse I referred to earlier is in Numbers 32, verse 23. Numbers 32, verse 23.

Then take note, you have sinned against the eternal, and be sure your sin will find you out. Human nature likes to concoct all kinds of little games, getting these little mind games, thinking that, well, I can get by with this, and no, well, nobody will know that, and, oh yeah, oh yeah, it has a way of coming out. How much better to love God with all your heart and soul and to be completely loyal to Him, because God is looking for those who are loyal. 2 Chronicles 16, verse 9. 2 Chronicles 16, verse 9. For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him. God looks for that person who is loyal, and our loyalty is demonstrated within our human relationships like marriage, like family, and like work. Yes, Jesus said, you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind. I'd like to go with you back to Genesis 39. I think there are a number of things we can learn from the example of Joseph. Joseph is a fascinating example here, a righteous example of one who had someone trying to tempt him, and he would have nothing to do with what his master's wife was trying.

Genesis 39, we begin in verse 7. Joseph's devotion to God prevented him from even being tempted. Verse 7, and it came to pass after these things that his master's wife, you remember Joseph, the brothers, sold him into slavery. He ends up in Egypt. His owner was Potiphar.

Potiphar's wife. Joseph was overseeing everything about the household except the master's wife. Verse 7, after these things that his master's wife cast longing eyes on Joseph, and she said, Lie with me. But he refused and said to his master's wife, Look, my master does not know what is with me in the house. He has committed all that he has to my hand. There is no one greater in this house than I, nor has he kept back anything from me but you, because you are his wife. How then can I do this great wickedness and sin before God? So it was, as she spoke to Joseph day by day, that he did not heed her to lie with her or to be with her. Now, there's a lot of ground that was just covered in some of those statements that we'll come back to.

We know how it played out. The pressure became such that, well, as the Apostle Paul wrote, flee sexual immorality. He had to literally flee and left a piece of clothing behind. He ended up in prison, but down in verse 21 it tells us that the Lord was with Joseph and showed him mercy and gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison. And so God blessed Joseph, even though he was falsely accused and condemned and in prison. He cooled his heels there a long time, but as you go through, what, chapter 41, he's elevated a great position there by the Pharaoh. He marries. He has two sons. One's name Manasseh meant forgetting because God allowed him to forget this hole in his heart because he was taken away from his father and his family at a young age. He was doing the will that God had for him, of saving many people. And he had another son, named Ephraim, which means fruitful. And God blessed him with many descendants. So, we look here at Joseph's example. Just briefly, what can we learn from it? I'll say point number one. Never ever give in to pre- or extramarital sex.

Never give in to pre- or extramarital sex. And that covers everything up to it. Remember what Jesus said. If a man looks at a woman, not his wife, with lust, he has already crossed that line. That line is out there and it's hard to see sometimes. But if there's lust for someone who's not your own spouse, yet sinned, don't go down that path.

Joseph was having nothing to do with what Potiphar's wife was offering. Paul wrote to Timothy, 1 Timothy 4, verse 2, and he used the phrase in that verse, 1 Timothy 4, verse 2, of having their conscience seared with a hot iron. And that's a statement about character. If a person takes one step into sin, the second, third, and fourth steps become that much easier. We see that through so many examples in God's Word. And we probably have seen it in our own life.

Your mind is never the same again because the memory of what's upon a time, crossing a line with respect to God's law. Because when that happens, character is destroyed and a person has less normal restraint that was there before. There are scriptures that look prophetically at the time of Christ reigning on the earth, millennial setting. Jeremiah 33 speaks about the, in Jerusalem, the sound of joy and gladness and the sound of the bridegroom, the sound of the bride. And it pinks a beautiful picture. That's going to be the way of the future. A young man, young woman, maybe not as young man or woman, save themselves for marriage and enter marriage at a time of great joy and gladness and then are bound together, cleave to each other as Adam was told, become one flesh.

The second point from Joseph's example is turn your eyes away from temptation. Turn your eyes away from temptation. It has been abundantly demonstrated, and we probably know this just by growing up, that a man, a man is more visually stimulated. With a woman, it's just the entirety of the whole relationship and the closeness and the nurturing that takes place.

But we live in a world where, in the day and age of the internet, pornography is everywhere. I even go trying to get updated on the news and hear some some side advertisements. Well, as one person once said, Victoria has few secrets. You know, there are advertisements like that that just pop up and you're trying to read a news article. It's everywhere. It's a few clicks away for those who go looking for it. But temptation can come from many directions. It may not be just as overt as Potiphar's wife hounding Joseph day after day, but he turned his eyes and he got out of there. 1 Corinthians 6 verse 18. 1 Corinthians 6 verse 18. That's where Paul wrote, flee sexual immorality. 1 Corinthians 6 verse 18. Temptation can destroy a marriage. Temptation can damage your ability to be enraptured in the love of your spouse. 1 Corinthians 6 verse 18. Don't let your eyes or your mind wander. 1 Corinthians 6 verse 23. This is from the Jewish Tanakh version. Above all that you guard, keep your heart, for out of it are the issues of life. Guard your mind. That's a precious gift from God.

A third point, a third lesson from Joseph's example. Never be alone with someone of the opposite sex. Now there are exceptions, I'll get to those. But never be alone with someone of the opposite sex.

I mean, a restaurant driving down the road in an office with the door closed.

Exceptions would be, of course, your own spouse. You have a license for that one.

Your children. Your parents. Your siblings. Your grandparents. Your grandchildren. Your niece's nephews. Your uncle's aunts. Your extended family. But Joseph got caught in a situation he wasn't his doing. But when he was in that situation, he got out of there as fast as he could. And you know the story. The United Church of God, from its inception, came up with what is called the Ministerial Code of Ethics. Ministerial Code of Ethics. Every minister has had to agree to live by that. There was a period of time when we actually signed on the bottom. And I happily signed it because of everything that it covered. I figured if I ever am not living by any of these statements, then I should not be a pastor. And I need to be gotten out of the way. Well, one part of that Code of Ethics prohibits an elder from ever being alone with another female, not his own wife. Or, you know the day and age we're in now, or a minor child. We had to address that with the camp situation. We could not have one adult and one child going anywhere, going into a room, driving in a car down to town. We always had what we called, as we put together, the sexual misconduct policy. We had to have the two deep leadership. Two adults with one child, or two or three. But two adults had to be together. Billy Graham. Billy Graham. That's a name that probably most of us are aware of, have been aware of it. A good part of our lives. Mr. Graham died a few years ago. He was married for a long, long time with his wife, Ruth. But Billy Graham is the one for whom the rule is named, the Billy Graham Rule. Now, think across the decades, if, you know, for those of you who are 40, 50 and older, think as far as the evangelists, or the age of the tele-evangelists. You have all kinds of names. I mentioned Jimmy Swagger's name earlier, and there was Jim Baker. And sadly, there was one from within the Church of God community. These were very high profile individuals who were not faithful in marriage. But the Billy Graham Rule was that he would never, ever be in a situation where he was alone with any woman except his wife Ruth, or she was present. Now, that meant, if he traveled a great deal, if he went to get in an elevator to go to his room, or down the elevator to the restaurant, if the elevator door opened and there was one woman on there, he just politely would wait for the next time it came. When he checked into a motel room, he would have someone else go in and make sure no one was there. He was not going to take a chance at all to walk inside and the maid is still making up the room. In all of those decades, when he was a well-known evangelist, all of those decades there was not one accusation of impropriety. And that's the Billy Graham Rule. And the Church asks us to all live by that. And you know, we should all, every one of us, you, we should all live by that. And that involves taking the greatest care that you're not with someone of the opposite sex. Again, there are exceptions any rule. There's the dating years, that's understood. But again, you know what I mean. And then the final lesson from Joseph. Point number four. Don't play games by flirting. By flirting, you know what that means. Pilate's wife tried her dead-level best to get his attention. And he kept saying no.

Flirting is something we see all around us. You can apply to work, to neighborhood, community. You can apply at church. Sadly, it's happened at church. And by flirting, I don't mean between married couples. Again, as I said a while ago, they have a license for it. Flirting breaks the spirit of the commandment that prohibits adultery. It may appear to be innocent, but it is not. There is, again, that line out there that is crossed without being seen. Detected. Flirting can open a door that's not easily closed. A number many years ago, Bonnie Riet probably made a lot of money on her song. Let's give them something to talk about. And she went through in the lyrics the different ways that that that flirting. communicates a message. So that's our fourth point from Joseph. Don't play games by flirting.

Solomon gives us the points of prevention. If you love God first and foremost with all of your heart and soul and mind, you also will love your spouse. You'll be able to love your spouse. If you are unfaithful to a spouse, you're unfaithful to God as well. The God who gave the law.

So those who love God first and foremost can, with his help, love their own spouse for the rest of life. Why do I say that? Well, as Solomon laid out here in Proverbs 5 and 6, on the one hand, the price of adultery is terrible. It is a price you don't want to pay.

But too many learn this by sad experience. It can all be avoided by heeding the guidance of God's Word. Isn't it amazing that any time we try God's law, it actually works and brings about the desired result. And the other side of that is the prevention of adultery is possible when our love is in the right place. We love God. We love his law from the heart, genuinely. And then along with that, we choose every day to love our own spouse above all other people. And then we sit back and enjoy God's richest blessings poured out upon our marriage. When God rode on tablets of stone, the words, You shall not commit adultery. He was saying, Do not destroy your life and the lives of many around you with sinful, misdirected affection that takes steps down the path of adultery. So, brethren, let us cherish and let us live by the wisdom behind the commandment, and the commandment as it was expanded by Jesus. You shall not commit adultery.