Biblical Friendship

Thank you, Robert, for that special music. I don't have to tell you this, but we receive so many special blessings by first understanding and then following God's way of life. Yes, there will be tears of laughter and there also be tears of sadness. That's part of what life is about. At the same time, we see blessings in our personal life, also in our marriage, in our families, in what is church, and also in our friendships. And I would like to focus on that last item, biblical friendships. You form strong bonds. As time goes by, we will lose some dear friends, like Carol Wallach.

And, on the other hand, we will gain some new friends, like Carol Johnson, who was baptized a week ago, Rose Norgren's daughter, who was not a member, who did not attend, but it was basically in those last days of being with her mother and then going through the memorial service and going through Rose's many things that she had, and she had a Bible, and she saw how much Rose had marked on that Bible and written notes. And Carol decided to start attending services, and certainly when she did, I was so happy, and I just kidded her. I said, it's about time. I've known you for 17 years, and she took it in a good way.

That's what I meant it to be, but it kind of helped her, too, to encourage her. And do you know that from the time she started attending, around March, she didn't miss one service, and she took it to heart. And then, of course, comes the time when she started feeling like she wanted to be long and being part of the service.

And so she asked me about how do I prepare for baptism? And one of the things I always do is please go over the Bible courses 8, 9, 10, and 11, because I want them to be with the Bible, open, and examine the Scriptures for themselves to go through this spiritual journey without any other help. And she did. She went through it. She was there at the feast in Oceanside, and she was baptized, like I mentioned, just a short time ago.

And now she is part of this church. She's part of the spiritual organism, and she is a sister in the faith that we can share and we've become biblical friends, spiritual friends. And she's going to continue just like her mother, who was such a solid rock. And I see the same determination and dedication in Carol as well. And so we win some, and we will lose some.

That is just part of life. But biblical friendships are something that God wants us to cherish, to preserve, and to protect as much as possible. So what are some of the biblical qualities of a good friend? What are the biblical qualities? I know in the world we have friendships.

Some are good. Some don't last very long. But the Bible sets up certain principles, building friendships just like we do, building our personal life, our marriage, our family life, our church life. And so let's go and see some of these principles. In Proverbs 18 verse 24, famous proverb, it says, a man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Another modern version, the Good News Bible says some friendships do not last, but some friends are more loyal than brothers. It's a blessing to have that type of friendship. We see this type of friendship in the Bible. One of the ones that stand out was the friendship between David and Jonathan. In 1 Samuel chapter 18 verses 1 and 3, I'll go ahead and read it. It says, now when he, talking about David, had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

Then Jonathan and David made a covenant because he loved him as his own soul. They bonded, became best of friends. They risked their own lives for each other. And so we see a biblical example here of a very close friendship. And of course, in the New Testament, Jesus taught that type of love, brotherly love, among his disciples.

Notice in John chapter 15, John chapter 15 in verse 14, he was speaking to his disciples, and he said, you are my friends if you do whatever I command you. So Christ laid it out. This wasn't just going to be a friendship to just get along. No, it had a common core. It had a common set of beliefs. They were based on what Jesus Christ had commanded. And so we are friends of Jesus Christ if we do whatever he commands us, because now we're in the 21st century. And yet, he's our Savior. He's our teacher. He's our guide. When Carol was baptized, we always bring up the point about, have you accepted Jesus Christ? And then we have five different titles that you accept Jesus Christ in your life as your Lord, as your Savior, as your high priest that goes before God, as your teacher, and as your coming King. So we have these titles that he's not just some icon or image that people worship. It's a relationship. Yes, he is my Lord. Yes, he is my master. Yes, he is my high priest. I don't have physical priests here on earth that I go to to ask forgiveness of God. He is my mediator. He is the one, my intercessor, the only one. As it mentions, there's only one mediator between man and God and Jesus Christ. But we don't see most religions do that at all. We're thankful to have that understanding. And so here Christ said, You are my friends if you do whatever I command you. Verse 15, it says, No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing.

But I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from my father I have made known to you. So Jesus Christ didn't just say what to do. He explained to them how to do it and why it should be done. That's much more deeper. In a business, you have bosses and they'll tell you to do certain things, but they're not going to explain to you all the reasons. But among the bosses, among those that are in charge, they will share the reasons for it. And Christ is basically saying, I'm not treating you like underlings that are ignorant. No, I'm treating you as this younger brother. You're part of this family and I'm going to reveal to you the reasons why these things should be this way. That is why it's so important. He defined the spiritual fellowship that sometimes is even greater than family relationships. Christ brought that point up in Matthew 12. Matthew 12 and verse 46. This is a poignant verse for me because, see, I lost my father and mother to my faith in the sense that I had to give up my religion. I had to give up following along what my family basically wanted me to become. And so this is what Christ brought up in verse 46, Matthew 12.

While he was still talking to the multitudes, behold, his mother and brothers stood outside seeking to speak with him. Then one said to him, look, your mother and your brothers are standing outside seeking to speak with you. But he answered and said to the one who told him, who is my mother and who are my brothers? And he stretched out his hand toward his disciples and said, here are my mother and my brothers, for whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother. And so again, we see that relationship.

I lost friendships when I came into the church and I gained friendships, friendships that I've treasured now since I came into the church that span decades. And one of them is right here, Robin Weber, one of the first visits I ever went to as just a student at that time. They were during the summer pick students to go out and go visiting with either elders or whoever was there in charge.

And I remember that Robin Weber took me on a visit because it was a Spanish couple. They didn't speak English very well and they needed somebody that was kind of bilingual. And so I went with Robin.

I'll never forget that that time. He was very kind to me and we built up a friendship from that time.

And we've had many different experiences together, fighting the fight of faith, keeping things together, protecting the congregations. And so that's a type of friendships you want to have that will last a lifetime. And also with Susan and many here. I consider you my friends. All of you are that way. And so we need to build such friendships. We need to keep such friendships and we need to cherish such friendships. One of the great blessings of life.

So let's go through four qualities of a biblical friendship because, of course, the world has their definition of friendships, which can be very loose. It can be based on just interest, self-interest, or sometimes it's a good friendship. And it has some of these biblical principles even if the people don't realize it. Just like so many things in life that do work come from the Bible, whether people know it or not. Some have good marriages. Why? Because they're applying biblical principles even if they don't know that's where they stem from.

And so here are four qualities as we remember friends who have passed away and new friends that we have. Number one, a friend loves at all times.

Biblical friendships should have deep roots, not just be friends in the good times.

A good friend like this will stick with you through thick and thin. They will sacrifice if necessary to keep that friendship going. Notice in Proverbs 17 verse 17.

This is what it tells us. This is the principle that God inspired in the Bible. It says, a friend loves at all times, not just part of the time. This is not a fair weather friend.

And a brother is born for adversity. And when tough times comes, you know who are your real friends.

In the contemporary Jewish Bible version, it says, a friend shows his friendship at all times.

It is for adversity that such a brother is born. You're going to find out true friendships when the chips are down, when trials come, when tests come. You find out who is who.

And many times it's surprising. In that sense, God tells us we're going to go through trials.

We're going to be tested. God tests the heart, and he does it through trials and difficulties.

Notice in 1 Corinthians chapter 11. 1 Corinthians chapter 11.

This is a biblical principle.

Trials bring out the best or the worst in a person. In 1 Corinthians 11, it mentions here about the tests that we have. It says verse 17, Now in giving these instructions, I do not praise you, since you come together not for the better, but for the worse. So Paul hears admonishing them. They weren't having the best attitudes. He says, So Paul brings this out. It's going to show the true worth and character of the person.

Many times, it's not the personality. It's not the person that has that braggadocio and feels like, oh yes, I'm going to be the one that's going to be strong. And then comes a trial. Find out that person withers away. And maybe it's the silent one that looks shy and reclusive.

And then they come out and they are the real strong person. It reminds me of that World War II veteran, Audie Murphy, who was this Texan living in poverty. He was 17 years old when he was enrolled.

He was short. He was skinny. He didn't have much education at all. He could barely read.

And he actually falsified his age because they could accept him only as 18. And so he was accepted.

And they sent him out to Europe in World War II. Well, guess what? He became the most decorated soldier during that war. And of course, you can watch Audie Murphy films. He became a famous Hollywood actor. But you would never have expected someone to have the bravery and just the sheer guts that that young man had. And basically, many times, that's the way it is in life. Don't tell the book by its cover. Tell it by its contents. And I've had a lot of books that have beautiful covers, not much substance. And sometimes I've got some that are gnarly and ugly, and some of them are just precious jewels because of what they contain inside.

And so a friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Again, looking at past friends that have passed away, there was a pastor before Robin Webber was here, Dennis Luker. And Robin and I consider him as one of our dear friends. He was a person that really encapsulated what it was to love at all times. Many of you knew him for years, and he was just faithful as Leanne, his wife also. Now, no, I'm not talking here about being perfect. I'm just talking about giving examples. He was a person that was cheerful, that was upbeat, even if he was suffering and hurting. I'll never forget when I visited him in Ohio, we had back in around 2013 or so one of the Council of Elder meetings, and he called me and said, Leanne, I would like to have you at our home. And I thought, wow, that's great. What a blessing to have him. He was a president at that time, and we were saving money, not staying in hotels, and people were being invited, so this was my turn to go. Well, he met me at the airport, and I remember we went that afternoon to Panera Bread. He was always very careful about his health, and we had some nice food there, but he wasn't feeling too well. And sure enough, that evening, he just started hurting, and I said, you're going to need to get this checked out. He, of course, was anointed for it. The next day, he felt weaker, and he was suffering from cancer and prostate cancer, and he didn't really know what was going on. But that person was such a trooper that until he was hospitalized, he was encouraging people, helping people. I remember the last message he gave, seven reasons why United is going to continue forward and going to be a good work and do a good work, and that was just the way he was. I'm looking forward to seeing him in the kingdom.

I'm sure many here as well. So a friend loves at all times, not just when the going is good, but also when the going is tough. The second quality of a good biblical friendship is a good friend tells you the truth even when it hurts, but not to hurt you, rather to help you.

A good friend tells you the truth even when it hurts, but not to hurt you, rather to help you.

Let's look at Proverbs 27 verses 5 and 6.

It says, Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

So a friend is going to look out for you, and sometimes if he's easier going the wrong way, or something is not correct, he is going to let you know. He's going to warn you.

There are all kinds of incidences where you think if that person would have been warned in time, they wouldn't have fallen into these messes that they ended up with.

Sometimes people say, well, I'm afraid to say anything, and the thing gets worse, and it gets worse until finally it's too late. The thing has completely destroyed the reputation and many other things which could have been averted in time. I remember about correction and taking correction from one of the brethren here in the congregation. He's another person that has passed away, but I remember him dearly. Bill Lear, a gentleman, cultured, and he helped me because, of course, I came from Latin America. I wasn't as well versed in English. I still had Spanish as a main language, and of course it's almost like having two libraries in your head going from one library to the other.

Sometimes they don't transfer that easily. Sometimes you get things mixed up. You see, Robin's laughing because he knows some of these Mario-isms that I would come up with.

Sometimes I try to say something, and it just didn't work out. And boy, I tell you, Bill was my savior because after services he'd come and he'd say, now this is the way you pronounce this, or this is actually the way you apply this. And Bill was my help throughout all of those years, and he had the confidence to do that. And others have done it as well. But you don't improve until somebody lets you know and bring about some improvement. So others in the congregation have done so, and none of us are infallible. Those who speak up here don't know it all.

And guess what? The more you know, the more you know how little you know.

And so it's only those that know little that have no idea how much they lack. Those that really work at something that realize how much they still need to learn. There was a famous anecdote about Beethoven and when he was playing piano and of course great composer, and he became deaf toward the latter part of his life. But before that he was just wonderful in the piano and composing. And one time he'd composed a beautiful concerto and then people were applauding wildly.

And he turned to one of his friends. He says, I don't know why people applaud me this way. I know how poorly I play. Why did he say that? Because he was comparing himself to what he could become.

He wasn't comparing himself to all the others that were worse than him. He was comparing himself to how much better he could have been. And so none of us really are able to get up to snuff and do everything we should. So a good friend will tell you the truth, even when it hurts.

The fourth principle, friends easily forgive. They don't hold a grudge.

Notice in Proverbs 19 and verse 11, it says, the discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression.

The Bible Knowledge Commentary has this to say about this verse.

He says, a prudent, patient man is not easily upset by people who offend him.

In fact, he overlooks offenses, knowing that to harbor resentment or attempt revenge only leads to more trouble. Overlooking them is his glory. That is, it is honorable to do so.

So, as we develop biblical friendships, we don't take things so personally or seriously.

We all make mistakes. We've all said things that have offended, and we should remember before judging the other person so harshly. As the Bible talks about Christ there, instead of looking at that little piece of wood there, sawdust in person's eye. Here we've got a beam.

We're guilty, and yet we're looking and judging the other person very critically.

And so again, a friend easily forgives. He doesn't hold a grudge. He loves you despite your errors and shortcomings. That's the type of friend that the Bible says we need to develop.

And the fourth principle is, biblical friendship requires you to choose friends carefully.

Choose friends carefully. Proverbs 12, verse 26, says, The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.

So this verse tells us that the friends we choose can change our lives forever, for good or for ill. If we choose the wrong type of friend, their influence can corrupt us.

And cause irreparable damage. So the Bible says, be careful. Don't just choose anybody that seems to be nice and sympathetic toward you. Keep those close friends close to the vest, because they can lead you astray with the wrong example. The Bible says, he who's with the wise will be wise. He who is with fools will end up being a fool himself.

So these are principles as life goes along. Yes, according to a person's responsibilities and duties, it's harder to have close friends. But people should always feel you're approachable, that you are not going to judge them and censure them, that you're there for their best interests.

That the reputation should be that you are a repairer of breaches, where there are divisions. You try to repair, you try to mend things, you're not there to make them worse.

And again, Jesus Christ was our great example, because He has to listen to us every day when we pray, and He goes to God the Father. And many times we don't do the greatest job, and yet He is our friend. He is there, He paid with His life for our sins, and He doesn't regret it.

He could certainly say, boy, it wasn't really worth it very much, was it? He could look at it that way, He doesn't. He cares for us. Notice what it says in Hebrews chapter 4, verse 14.

It says, seeing then that we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. He's there to save us, not to sink us. And it's just a matter of developing a friendship first with God the Father and Jesus Christ, because they want us to have that confidence. They have our best interests in mind. So Christ basically said it all and encapsulates what we've been talking about in one verse in the Bible. John chapter 15, John chapter 15, and verse 13. John chapter 15, verse 13.

Christ said, greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends.

He's talking about those that are following him. He says, you are my friends if you do whatever I command you. And so he considers us his friends. We're not worthy of it, but we should be very grateful. When we come before him, we're not there with an irate God. We're there, a God that was willing to die for us. So he walked the walk, not only talk the talk, as it is said.

So we have a lot to work on, because how many of us would be willing to sacrifice our lives for friends in the church? It's quite difficult. We have to really deepen those relationships.

We have to overcome the grudges, the party spirit, the division. Sometimes we're all together.

We're all brethren. Christ died for all of us, and he calls us friends, and we should call each other friends as well. So action steps for the future, what we can apply. Remember, let's commit ourselves to building such friendships, applying these principles that a friend loves at all times, that will tell you the truth, even when it hurts, but not to hurt you, rather to help you. A friend that easily forgives, and we should forgive, and doesn't hold the grudge, lets things go, passes them over, and then chooses friends wisely, remembers by example, by the fruits, those that are trustworthy. So just as we started, God gives us many great blessings by understanding and applying His truths in the Bible, and one of them is to learn what biblical friendship is all about. And we're here today thinking about Carol Wallach and the friendship we had with her.