Biblical Principles About Singles

Brethren, I'd like to talk to you about a sizable group in our church. The Bible always talks to all ages, whether you're young or old. God addresses us through His Word. There's a group that is constantly growing around the world, but especially in the Western world, like the US and Europe, where singles are becoming more and more populous around the world. And also, here in the church, we have people that are singles, which means those that are unmarried or have become widows, or what we call spiritual widows, which are those that for one reason or other, whether divorced or abandoned or otherwise, they live alone. And like I said, the Bible has a lot to say, and it's very encouraging, because sometimes a person feels that they always need a couple in order to do things in life, but that is not necessarily the case. In fact, most of us have lived a certain period of time as a single person before we were married, sometimes many years. And some will be the ones who survive their spouse, and will end up living single, or remarrying or whatever, but we do all go through different stages in life. As a news article brings out called Singles Nation, in other words, the Nation of Singles, why Americans are turning away from marriage. And it says, once upon a time in America, marriage was the norm for adults of a certain age. But now, for the first time since the Bureau of Labor Statistics began tracking these numbers in 1976, that's almost 50 years ago, the number of single people outnumbered married people. More than half of the adult population in the United States is single. About 50.2 percent, or 124.6 million American adults, are single. In 1950, that number sat around 22 percent. So it's gone from 22 percent to 50 percent. That's from the article, The Takeaway, magazine September 10, 2014. And from there, the last eight years, it's even gotten worse. A lot of this, when you ask yourself, why are there more single people now than ever before? It has to do partly with prosperity. It means singles can now fend for themselves better before you had to marry, because you had to have two people working in the home and producing income and surviving. But now, with the prosperity that there is, singles people, they can live, they can rent, they can live comfortably. They don't need somebody else's income to supplement them. It also has to do with young adults postponing marriage for a later age. Since there is no rush, they're making income, they're living comfortably. And because society is becoming more worldly and secularized, where a lot of people just say, well, I have a better time on my own. I don't have to get married and take up responsibilities. And so, we live in a society where feelings mean more and everything goes. Everybody has their own lifestyle. So, this is the purpose of the message that we have today, is to look into the subject from the perspective of the Bible, because they're important lessons for us. And as you will see, the Bible has very encouraging news to those who are single, or widows, or what we call spiritual widows. What does that mean? It means a person that, it isn't that their spouse died, but they were divorced, or they have no more connection or support from that other person. We call them their spiritual widows. They live like basically a widow would do, who has lost a person.

So, let's just get right into the subject with one startling fact, and that is that the greatest person who has ever lived, never was married. That was Jesus Christ. So, the most important person didn't even get married. He didn't have children. Why didn't he marry? The Bible doesn't explain it fully, but we know a couple of facts. One is that the main reason he came was to be a sacrifice for our sins, and he would be persecuted continually from the time he revealed himself to be the Messiah. So, this wasn't going to be easy for a wife and children. Notice in John 5, verse 20. Let's go to John 5, verse 20. It says here, one of the reasons he came not to do his own will, but to do the Father's will, to be that sacrifice, to be that lamb, that spotless. And so, that was what he was focusing on. It says, verse 20, for the Father loves the Son and shows him all things that he himself does, and he will show him greater works than these. And then, in verse 19, let's skip down a verse. It says, Jesus answered, said, Most assuredly I say to you, the Son can do nothing of himself but what he sees the Father do. For whatever he does, the Son also does in like manner. And then, in chapter 6, verse 38, he repeats the same principle. He didn't come down to do, just enjoy himself here on the earth. He was here for a specific purpose. John 6.38 says, For I have come down from heaven not to do my own will, but the will of him who sent me. He came out to fulfill a job, and that was what he was concentrated on. Also, as we mentioned, if he had a wife and children, he didn't want to cause undue suffering by having a wife or children. He could have undivided time focused on his mission. And he didn't want people to focus on maybe his own family and start revering them and thinking there were some special type of people because they were related to him. And that actually happened. About 300 years after Christ died, in one of the Catholic Church councils, they actually put down the veneration of Mary. And they called her a virgin, which she wasn't because she had more children afterwards than Christ. But they venerated her. So you can imagine the wife of Christ, the children of Christ, they think, oh, they have this special spirit in them. It would have been more easy to begin revering them, venerating them. And Christ did not feel frustrated or deprived from the pleasure of living. He said he came to give us the abundant life. And although he was single, she had a family, but he lived life to the fullest.

He loved people as a whole. He loved people whatever their station was in life. But he especially loved children. They just came to him just like drawn by a magnet.

In Mark 10, verse 13, let's go to Mark 10, verse 13. We use this because we apply everything that the Bible says that Christ taught. And so we have what is called the blessing of the children ceremony. This is one of the places where Christ instituted the blessing of the children. Notice in Mark 10, verse 13, it says, They thought he was too busy for that. He was too important.

This is the kingdom of God, that right attitude. Humble, innocent. Verse 15, We've got to be humble. We have to be innocent. We have to be open. And he took them up in his arms. That's what we do. Laid his hands on them and blessed them. So we ask for a special blessing upon the child so that they'll be protected all their lives. So that one day God will call them and give them the Holy Spirit and be able to be part of the work of God. It's very important for the children. Now besides Jesus Christ, the writer of the greatest number of books in the Bible, who is that? The writer who wrote the most number of books in the Bible. It's the Apostle Paul.

He wrote thirteen epistles. And Paul was single. He probably had been widowed because he was part of the Sanhedrin. And one of the qualifications to be part of the Sanhedrin was that you needed to be married. So probably his wife died. He never talks about that. He just says he was either single or widowed because he mentions those categories when he refers to himself. So we'll see that in a moment. And he writes actually in a chapter of one of those epistles a lot about singles and widows and his guidance over it. Let's look at 1 Corinthians 7 and verse 25. 1 Corinthians 7 and verse 25. It says here, Now concerning virgins, I have no commandment from the Lord, yet I give judgment as one whom the Lord in his mercy has made trust with. The word here virgins has to do with people who are not married. So I'd like to read it in the easy reading version. And you can follow along whatever version you have. It says, Now I write about people who are not married. I have no command from the Lord about this, but I give my opinion, and I can be trusted because the Lord has given me mercy. This is a time of trouble, he says. He thought the Great Tribulation period was just ahead. He thought the coming of Christ was going to happen during his lifetime.

He goes on to say, So I think it is good for you to stay the way you are. If you have a wife, don't try to get free from her. If you are not married, don't try to find a wife. But if you decide to marry, that is not a sin. And it is not a sin for a girl who is never married to get married. But those who marry will have trouble in this life, and I want you to be free from this trouble. Brothers and sisters, this is what I mean. So he explains why. He says, We don't have much time left. So starting now, those who have wives should be the same as those who don't. You should use the things of the world without letting them become important to you. This is how you should live. Because this world, the way it is now, will soon be gone. The church, according to what they thought at that time, would soon be engulfed in the Great Tribulation period, a three and a half year period. And so the time they had left should be used to prepare for that coming of Christ. God allowed this idea to keep people in the church zealous and not become complacent. God could have said, Well, don't worry. It's going to be 2,000 years into the future before Christ comes back. People always say, Oh, great. We don't have to worry about Christ coming. We can relax. We can enjoy. And so he never wanted them to fully understand when Christ would come. Let's look at Acts chapter 1. Acts chapter 1.

In verse 6, it says, Therefore, when they had come together, they asked him, saying, Lord, will you at this time restore the kingdom to Israel? Is this the time when you come back and you restore the kingdom to Israel? It's very important because it shows that they understood they were living in the times of the Gentiles from the time of Nebuchadnezzar all the way to the end time before Christ returns.

It would be the time of the Gentiles where Christ is not governing the people of Israel that will be resurrected at that time, that will be under Christ, resurrected. That's not happened yet. So, of course, they were looking forward to that. Is this the time when you will establish your kingdom? They were looking at him. He was a spirit being that could materialize at will and talk to them and eat and teach them.

How do you like to have somebody resurrected like that? And, of course, they're saying, Oh, I hope you do it now. Please bring that kingdom now. So that's what they asked him. And what did Christ reply? And he said to them, It is not for you to know times or seasons which the Father has put in his own authority. But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you shall be witnesses to me in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria and to the end of the earth.

It's going to cover the entire globe. And he says, Only God the Father knows the exact moment when he will order his Son to return. And he said, In the meantime, get busy doing the work of God. Be focused on what you can do. God will take care of the times. And so we see that when he wrote to the Corinthians, he was saying because he thought Christ was going to come soon and that there wasn't going to be time to raise kids and worry about getting jobs and building houses and doing everything.

And of course, time went by. And Christ did not return at that time. But there was always that tension of when was Christ going to return. Nobody knew for sure. And we don't know for sure. Now we can see, as it brings up, that he gave them signs as the budding of a fig tree in Matthew 24. And we see many of those signs that did not exist at the time of Christ and that have not existed for the past two thousand years.

For instance, the rise of nuclear arms. And that's only been since 1945, the first time they dropped two of those. And now we're already threatened again. But that was the time when man could destroy all life on earth, which Christ mentions in Matthew 24. That if Christ did not come at that time in history, no flesh would exist. Well, there wasn't any power like that before in Christ's day. Nor a thousand years later.

It was only in the 1900s, just this past century, that that was possible. And of course, it was time to build all those hydrogen bombs later on as well. So we don't know exactly when man can destroy himself for the first time in what year that would have been. Now, thirdly, about singles, we learn in the Bible that God takes special care of the widows, orphans, those that are divorced, that are single.

God intervenes more. He knows they have more needs. They don't have a protector that can help them, whether it's a man or a woman. Living alone is not easy. And so God puts his powerful and holy angels about them. Notice in Exodus 22, this is part of God's law. And it talks about how God cares specially for the widows and singles and those that eventually are divorced. Exodus 22, verse 21. It says, In other words, a single person that is indefensible, that can't really protect themselves, is vulnerable.

It says, God will take care of them in any way if you take advantage of them being by themselves, and they cry at all to me. They ask me to intervene. I will surely hear their cry, and my wrath will become hot, and I will kill you with the sword. Your wives shall be widows and your children fatherless. God will take care of that, because he loves people that are single. Notice in Deuteronomy chapter 10, this is also part of God's law. This is what is called the Torah, the first five books of the law of God. Deuteronomy 10, verse 18. It says, In a rough times, God will open up a door.

He will bless them in a special way. Sometimes when you still have your spouse, it says the Bible better two than one, because if one falls, the other one will pick them up. God says he's got angels. He's got the special care for them. Never underestimate that. And I've seen that here in the Garden Grove Church. Certain widows.

I've just seen how many times God intervened in their lives, constantly protecting them from danger. And sometimes that even extends to their children and grandchildren. Notice in Deuteronomy 14, verse 28. Here it talks about the Feast of Tabernacles. Let's go a little bit before. Let's go to verse 26. It says, And you shall spend that money, talking about the tithe that you save for the feast, for whatever your heart desires, for oxen or sheep.

Well, we don't actually buy oxen or sheep. We just buy slices. It's called steaks. Talk about beef and lamb. For wine. So guess what? You go to Puerto Vallarta, you have wine and pina colada, margaritas, all free. Of course, you can do that any place where you purchase them.

Or a similar drink for whatever your heart desires. This is the time of the feast when you're with your family and you save that money to be able to spend it at that time. And there before the Lord your God. God is at those feasts.

And I always talk about it. It's almost like God puts this invisible bubble of protection. We've had hurricanes that were going to come and they all of a sudden move over, and just one time after the other. And it's not just us. It's a hotel personnel. You say, oh, we got this thing coming, but don't worry. These people are in this place and we've never seen anything happen at that time. That just is God for His glory and honor intervening in this way.

And He says, you shall not forsake the Levite who is within your gates, for He has no part nor inheritance with you. At the end of every third year, you shall bring out the tithe of your produce of that year and stored up within your gates and the Levite. That was a way they helped the ministry out because He has no portion nor inheritance with you.

And the stranger and the fatherless and the widow who are within your gates may come and eat and be satisfied that the Lord your God may bless you in all the work of your hand, which you do. God always blesses back more than we ever give. And so in the church, we have that also. A third portion that those don't pay taxes and usually it's about 10% or so that before there was no welfare.

There was no payments. But still, there are people that don't have to pay that and they give that tithe every third year to help the widows, to help the fatherless. And we have a list of people, just like you're going to see, that receive monthly to help out because of the generosity in the congregation. So this is part of God's law. In 1 Timothy 5, Paul talks about the care of widows and spiritual widows who are in the congregation. 1 Timothy 5, verse 1. It says, It says, Don't speak angrily to an older man, but talk to him as if he were your father.

Treat the younger men like brothers, treat the older women like mothers, and treat the younger women with respect like sisters. Take care of widows who really need help. So we have widows in the congregation. But it says here, those who really need help. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, the first thing they need to learn is this, to show their devotion to God by taking care of their own family. They will be repaying their parents. And this pleases God. How much the parents do for us?

So in their old age, we should make sure they're doing fine. A widow who really needs help is one who has been left all alone. So these are the ones the church concentrates on. She trusts God to take care of her.

You see faith. She's not just talking the talk. She's walking the walk. She really is converted, dedicated to serving God. She prays all the time, night and day. So this is her job. She might not have a job where she clocks in and out, but she's in close contact with God. And of course, this doesn't mean just hours, but she's in contact. She studies the scriptures. She's close to God and asks God for help.

She knows the needs increase as you get older and the health gets worse. But the widow who uses her life to please herself is really dead while she is still living. She doesn't dedicate herself to God. They call this the merry widow, right? That just spends all the money. And of course, you can do both things. You can enjoy life, but don't forget to put God first in your life.

Tell the believers they are there to take care of their family so that no one can say they are doing wrong. In other words, be a good example in your neighborhood. If the mother is there and people know about the children that are grown up, to be concerned. Everyone should take care of all their own people. Most important, they should take care of their own family. If they do not do that, then they do not accept what we believe. They are worse than someone who does not even believe in God. That's why we mention about the responsibility. It starts in our home. We have to have an orderly home because I remember what happened in Chile one time. Actually, Mr. Robert Flores mentioned this. We had a case similar to this, which was that the husband wouldn't work. He would be reading his Bible all day. They didn't have any aid. The wife had to go. We asked him, he said, why are you not working? I am reading the Bible. I am just dedicated in spiritual life. This is what the Bible says. That person is worse than if he didn't believe in God. He is giving a terrible example. But it can happen. It is a good excuse to sleep late, read a couple scriptures, and not do your job. This is what was happening here, too. That's why Paul had to remind them. It says, So, again, we have a list. There are situations where the person widows earlier, they are alone. So, this is basically mentioning the case of the widow who has no one to support them.

Continuing in 1 Timothy 5.14, it says, So I want the younger widows to marry, have children, and take care of their homes. If they do this, our enemy will not have any reason to criticize them. But some of the younger widows have already turned away to follow Satan. When their husbands, or it can be also the wives in some cases, and they just go back into the world. They start with vices, and they start with the wrong type of living, and this happened here. Some of the women just went back into Satan's world. If any woman who is a believer has widows in her family, she should take care of them herself. Then the church will not have the burden, and will be able to care for the widows who have no one else to help them. The church has that widows fund, and people donate to it here in Garden Grove, too. Keep it up so we can help the widows. Some of the tithes are used as well to help them out. But we're going to take care of those who cannot take care of themselves. In fifth place, let's look at the physical and fulfilling role that people have in the church that are single or widows. Mark 10, verse 28 through 31. Again, I'm going to read it from the easy reading version. Peter said to Jesus, We have left everything to follow you. Jesus said, I can promise that everyone who has left their home, brothers, sisters, mother, father, children, or farm, which means jobs, because that was an agricultural society, for me and for the good news about me, will get a hundred times more than they left. You're going to be enriched a hundred times more.

Here in this world, they will have more homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and farms. New jobs God will give them. And with these things, they will have persecutions. But in the world that is coming, they will also get the reward of eternal life. And then it says in the Passion Translation, next verse, But many who are considered to be the most important now will be the least important then. And many who are viewed as the least important now will be considered the most important then. So when Christ comes back, most of the saints are not going to be the important and famous people at all. So, widows, singles, spiritual widows have the time and opportunity to pray more closely. They can develop their spiritual life and have more depth to it. Very good books. Nowadays, it's just amazing how many good books you can read about the spiritual life. If Paul was married, I don't think he could have written all of the epistles. Because that depth of understanding he got from being close to God, studying the Scriptures, until he received that insight that we can all read about in the epistles. We can help as a supporting role for widows, orphans, kids in the church. Many times singles or widows can become a foster older brother that can help. Or an uncle, and that support. We have someone like that that helps some of the kids in our family that just wanted to be a sponsor, help out. It's wonderful when people can take their time to do that and to help in the community. Not forget to help out as you can. For instance, when I was ordained an elder in 1976 in the Spanish work, I was single. There weren't many young ladies in the church in Latin America, so I thought I probably would never get married. But I thought, that's fine. I want to serve God in the Spanish area. If I'm single, I can travel more. I can help raise churches. I can help organize. And I had already made my mind up. God had something else when I met Cottie. I was blessed with that. But I was ready to live a single life and to just serve the church in Latin America. It's a lot easier to organize yourself by yourself.

But I thought, just like Gerald Waterhouse, I'd be going to these places and maybe setting up. And I actually did set up in basically in Chile and Bolivia. Cottie and I had a chance to start the Bolivia church at that time and serve the Brazilian brother. I had to learn Portuguese to do that. Then Argentina as well, take care of Argentina. So you do that whether you're married or not, if you're serving God. So in God's kingdom, as we wrap up, there's not going to be loneliness. There's no time for it. There's so much to do and to enjoy. When we are resurrected, we're all going to be spirit beings. And what previously was only a man or a woman will now be complete in a spiritual being. Notice what it says in Luke chapter 20 verse 34. I'll be ending with that. In Luke chapter 20 verse 34, Christ explained how things are going to be in the kingdom. Starting in verse 34, it says, Jesus answered and said to them, The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage. But those who are counted worthy to attain that age, talking about the resurrection, God's kingdom, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry nor are given in marriage, nor can they die any more. For they are equal to the angels and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection. So we're going to have a higher plane than presently as human beings. And so whether we're single or married or widowed or spiritual widows, it's just temporary. We're looking forward to that time when we're going to be one big family, when we are all going to be one, like Jesus Christ and God the Father are one, where God the Father is going to be over everything. And Jesus Christ is going to be our bridegroom. He's going to be our husband. We're going to be like the bride. We're going to follow Him and enjoy that wonderful family relationship forever.