The Holy Institution of Marriage

We'll be going through a series of sermons on holiness. How a separate, unique, holy God chooses things and places and people. Last week we talked about time. He chooses time. He says, this is unique to me. This is different. This is separate. Therefore, it is holy.

That is a very, very important concept through the Scripture. Because God takes holiness as important. Because when He declares something holy, it takes on attributes of Him as holiness. We are a sanctified people that are going through the process of sanctification, which literally means being made holy.

Today we are going to talk about something else. Time, or not a place, or not a thing like the Ark of the Covenant. But we are going to talk about an institution that is holy.

When the Jews came out of captivity, and came back from the Babylonian captivity, and they came back to Judea, they didn't return entirely to the right religion.

They came back, and they started the temple worship again. They had all these things going on. It appeared that they were back into the worship of God. But you have the post-exilic prophets like Malachi that comes along and says, you haven't returned to where you are supposed to be. God brought you back out of Babylonian captivity, and you are still not where you are supposed to be.

There is a very interesting passage I want to look at today in Malachi 2.

I believe, and I have for a couple of decades, that what we are going to cover today is one of the greatest dangers to the Church.

Not understanding this is one of the greatest dangers the Church faces today, and it was one of the greatest dangers the Jews faced coming out of their captivity.

Let's start in verse 10.

Have we not all one Father?

Now that's interesting if you go back to chapter 1. God was the Father of Israel. So this is a very important term here. It's specifically referring to the covenant God made with them. Do we not have one Father? We are all, he's telling Israel, we are all of one Father. We are all of the same God here who founded us.

As not one God created us. Why do we deal treacherously with each other by profaning the covenant of the Fathers?

Now the covenant of the Fathers was made with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob that he would create a holy people. And so he's saying, you are not holy. You are not doing. You are not separate. You are not unique. You are not special. You are not fulfilling God's purposes. Because you are not profaning the holy covenant given to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

And now he's going to get into specifically... Malachi deals with seven different areas in which...

When we go through the Minor Prophets, there's a series of Bible studies which I hope to start sometime in the next few months.

When we get to Malachi, you'll see where there are seven very specific areas which are very important because they actually apply to the Church too. We have the same problems they did.

Judah has dealt treacherously. An abomination that's committed in Israel and in Jerusalem. An abomination. Well, that's what God calls sacrificing babies to idols. That's what God... I mean, an abomination means it literally is repulsive.

So this... something's happening in Jerusalem that is repulsive to God. That word is so strong. We can't gloss over that word. This is something that is repulsive to God. He says, For Judah has profaned the Lord's holy institution which he loves. He has married the daughter of a foreign God.

Now the word institution, if you'll notice, is italics in many translations. How did they translate that in English? It literally just says, you have profaned the holy that is of God because of your marriages.

You have profaned the holy because of your marriages. And in this case, he's going to talk about a couple different things. One specifically here that they had married pagans. They had married people who did sacrifice their children to idols. They had married people who hated the God of Israel. And they had just gone into the land, not married each other as they were supposed to.

And then he says, May the Lord cut off from the tents of Jacob, the man who does this thing, be awake and aware, yet who brings an offering to the Lord of Hostah. That's another very strong statement. The people who profaned this covenant, this marriage covenant, this holy institution, the people who profaned that, he says, if they bring an offering to me, God says, just cut them off from Israel. Remove them from Israel. I don't want anything to do with them. So here are people that may be keeping the Sabbath. They're worshiping God. They're bringing their sacrifices because they rebuilt the temple. It's the rebel's temple. And God says, don't even bring the sacrifice to me. Just get out. Just get out. That's a strong statement, isn't it? Because you have profaned the holy institution, which is marriage.

A couple of important things here. When we look through this, there's this institution of marriage. I know we've read it a hundred times, but let's go back because this is going to come up over and over again this morning. I said down this morning, I told Kim, I just cut out five or six passages, and I still am going to go over time. So I'm going to have to short this down as we go through it. These passages are going to come up over and over and over again. Genesis 1, verse 26. Because this is where we understand the institution of marriage. And Jesus is going to quote this a little later when we get to it. Then God said, this is Genesis 1, 26, Let us make man in our image according to our likeness. Let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle and over all. The earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. So God created man in his own image. He created, in the image of God, he created them, male and female. He created them. And what we'll talk about is it's a whole different subject how male and female both possess certain attributes of God. We are different. We're supposed to be different. That's not a negative thing. It's a good thing. To fulfill God's purposes, he gave each of us something a little different that's about him.

He says, then God blessed them, and God said to them, Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it, have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth. Now, this statement here actually is at the end of another event. That other event is described in chapter 2. So let's go to Genesis 2 and look at verse 18. And the Lord God says, it is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him. That statement I don't think we truly understand. First of all, he let Adam wait until he knew he needed a helper before he created her.

But she was created to be a helper. I mean, if you could just let that sink in, that's a whole different viewpoint than our society has on marriage. That alone is different. That alone right there is different. But that's not what we're going to cover today. We're going to cover the institution and how it is holy.

Verse 21, this is real. This is true if you have a biblical viewpoint, a worldview, you accept this is true. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam and he slept and he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in his place. Then the rib in which the Lord God had taken from man he made into a woman and he brought her to the man. And Adam said, now this is bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh, she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. In other words, wow, she's just like me. In fact, she's made from me. How close is that?

Therefore, verse 24, see this is an institution when we take 1 verse 26 and then we take these verses in chapter 2. Then a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked and the man and his wife and were not ashamed. This is real important when we talk about the sexual nature of marriage. It is also holy.

That's a concept we never even think of. Adam and Eve had no sexual problems. None. Why?

Because it was still unique, it was still holy. The relationship was still what God created. It had not become common, mundane, and corrupted yet. It was holy. So we don't think of marriage institutions as holy and we sure don't think as the sexual relationship in marriage is holy. And yet it is. It is ordained by God, created by God, and declared holy by God. So let's go back to Malachi 2. Now I said there's a couple points here that we talked about. One is this holiness. The other is that Israel was a holy people and marriage was part of the thing. Marriage and family is part of what kept them holy. Understand, marriage and family is part of what kept them holy.

What's interesting when you go through the Old Testament laws, how many of them have to do with marriage? Especially sexuality outside of marriage.

Why is God so uptight about these things? Because we were created by Him for a holy institution. It was His creation. It was His purpose. It's why He made it that way. Can you imagine if you took time, if you were a great painter and you painted this beautiful painting? Or what if you were a builder and you built a beautiful house that was your masterpiece and someone opened it up as a house of irrepute? Or as Popeye said, a house of irrepuke?

What would you feel like? What would you think? Or if you made, like I said, a beautiful painting. And then someone took, hung it up, and took a brush and messed it all up until it was something that you thought was an abomination. What would you think?

God created marriage as something unique and it's uncommon in its relationship. The relationship between a man and a woman is supposed to be uncommon. It's supposed to be different.

It's supposed to be separated from everything else. And in that, a family is created. You know, when Malachi comes along and condemns them for marrying pagans, if you go back to Deuteronomy, there's exact reasons why they were commanded not to marry pagans.

It's because you and your children... Let's go look at this. I don't have time, but I'm going to. Deuteronomy 7.

This is just one passage. There's many like this, but I want you to notice God's reasons for things. God has a reason for everything he does. God created marriage. He created his male and female. He could have created us differently.

But he created it this way for a reason. Deuteronomy 7. Verse 1, When the Lord your God brings you into the land in which you go to possess, and has cast out the many nations before you. He talks about how he's going to move these people out. You know why? Those people were common, and mundane, and corrupt, and unholy, and they hated him. And he said, it's my earth. You know, think about how many times, once again, we're getting into our worldview. We're so caught up into secular humanism in the New Age movement, how unfair of God to move these people out.

And God said, it's my land. How dare you come onto my land and worship Satan? How dare you come onto my land? And I give you the rain. I'm the one who gives you the food you eat. I'm the one who gives you life. I gave you life, God says. And yet, here you are, sacrificing your children to idols. You don't get to live here anymore. Israel, go take it because you're holy. See, that is a worldview that seems unfair. It seems like he's mean. It seems like he's a...

Oh, what a horrible being! No, it's his! And he says, I made everything that's supposed to be holy, and you people messed it up. Well, with Satan's help. You have people made it just mundane and corrupt. And if I wish to take part of it back, I'm going to take it back. Because it was mine. And God took it back. And he put people in there, and he said, okay, you show them what holiness is. And he tells them why. He says, this is the middle of the next verse down here, you shall make no covenant with them, or show mercy to them.

And now verse 3, Wow! What a prejudiced being! See, think about secular humanism and New Age movement, and different things, how we see the world. What a prejudiced God! You can't marry that person over there. You can only marry this person. Because that person isn't worthy for you to marry. Yes, that's what he says. That is what he said. For they will turn your sons away from following me to serve other gods, so the anger of the Lord will be aroused against you, and destroy you suddenly.

He says, they will corrupt your children. As we go through these verses, you're going to find out something. You children, and I want everyone here, if you've grown up in the church, and you're 19, or 20, or you're 8 years old, I want you to listen to this, or if you didn't grow up in the church, but I want you to listen to this.

The fact that you are here means you are holy. He says, I'm only 8 years old. That's right. You are holy. The Almighty God says you are holy. Now, not holy like a person who has received God's Spirit. That's a different level of holiness. And you're going to find over and over again, one of the reasons for marriage is so that children can have a relationship with God.

It's one of the purposes. You're already holy. You may not like it, but you are. You can leave holiness, by the way. You can leave your holiness, but you're already holy. But I'm only 10! Don't marry them because they will destroy your children, God said. That's not prejudice. That's the Almighty God, who wants, amidst all this, the world that Mr. Perriman described, amidst all this wickedness, there's always supposed to be a small group of holy people. And marriage is holy, and the children they produce are holy.

They're for his. You were born for him. You are here because he said, I want you. Now, you may say you don't want God, but you are here because God said, I want you. Children are not a necessary baggage that comes along with their parents.

They're part of the purpose for holy marriage. They're not just the baggage. You are here because you're part of an institution, and God said, you are holy. So this is a very important, very important point. Let's go back to Malachi. Let's go back to Malachi and go to...let's see here. I've got to figure out where I am in my notes because my computer went crazy this morning.

It starts...I get multiple pages of different things. Nothing's in order. So I'll just have to make this one up as I go along. Let's go to Malachi. Verse 13. Malachi verse 13. He says, and this is the second thing you do... Oh, man, they were marrying people who said not to marry because they would corrupt their children.

And this is the second thing you do. You cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and crying, so that he does not regard the offering anymore nor receive it with good will from your hands. He says, I don't listen to you anymore. I don't listen to your prayers. When you bring your offering to me, your worship means nothing to me. I dread. I go to God and say, if my worship means nothing, do you show me why?

Because I don't ever want to be where my worship means nothing to God. Why? Is there worship mean nothing to him? Yet you say, for what reason? Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth. Now, he really goes after men here. But this is for women, too. With whom you have dealt treacherously, you have cheated, and you have committed treason against me.

Is this the covenant with God by the way you have treated your wives? Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Now, he already talked about how they had broken the covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, because they did not honor the holy institution. Now he says, you have broken your covenant with me because of the way you treat your wives. But did he not make them one, having a remnant of the spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of your youth.

Verse 15 is very hard to translate. I've looked it up in a lot of different translations. Even in the Jewish translation, they say, this is a hard verse to translate. But the essence of it is, God says, One of the reasons I made you a holy people was so that you would have holy children. One of the reasons I made you as a holy people was so that you would have holy children.

In other words, the covenant with Israel... Think about Moses, God making a covenant with Israel there at Mount Sinai. It wasn't a one-generation covenant. This was supposed to be passed on from generation to generation. Then verse 18, For the Lord God of Israel says that he hates divorce.

When God says he hates something, that should really waken us up. We don't think of God as, oh God is love. He doesn't hate anything. Do a study sometime of all the things God says he hates. There's lots of them. He says, I hate it. He says, The Lord God hates divorce. For covers one's garment with violence, says the Lord of Hosts. Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.

It's interesting. He says, it's violence. I have counseled many, many people who have gone through divorces over the years. And there's a term that comes up over and over again. I feel like I have been reaped apart inside. I've been torn. It's a violence. It's a violence they go through. And he says, it's violence to commit this. Because the way God designed marriage was that a husband and wife, becoming one flesh is more than just a physical statement. And to divorce is to rip is a violent act. And that's why he hates it.

Because it's a holy institution. Those are strong words, aren't they? And those are to ancient Israel who were not converted people. Those are strong words. So what did Jesus say? Let's look at how Jesus dealt with this. So let's go to Matthew 19.

We have a very interesting question. And you have to put this in the framework of that first century. Now, in the Old Testament, I will mention this, there are reasons for divorce. Divorce is acceptable in certain situations. One was adultery. If one of the members committed adultery, you could divorce them. Although adultery isn't always... I've seen many marriages go through adultery and come out strong marriages. It's possible. It takes God, but it's possible. The other was fraud. And it's a very interesting fraud. And people misunderstand this. It was a man married a woman and found out she'd been sexually active before he married her. And so you've committed fraud. That fraud can be expanded into a lot of things. But specifically, that's what it said. And I've heard women say, well, that meant the man could fool around all he wanted. Right. That's how we think as corrupt, common human beings. The covenant was neither of you would do that. So it's a righteous man who didn't do it, who's finding it out in his wife. If it's a man who fooled around himself, then he's a hypocrite. So you have to understand, the law is designed for righteous people to apply this. So now he wasn't saying, oh, the man got a free ride. The law is based on that the man didn't. You see? The law is based on the man didn't. He's a righteous man. And he finds out with his wife, you know. And this now messes up our holy relationship. He didn't have to divorce her, but he could. He didn't have to, but he could. So, no, men aren't getting a pass on this. It was considered to be such a shock that you found a woman that, you know, that was this way. So let's go now to verse 3 of chapter 19. So you've got to understand, okay, there are reasons for divorce in the Old Testament. There are reasons for divorce. One was actually commanded. We'll talk about that in a minute. You didn't have to divorce your husband if he committed adultery or your wife. You could forgive them and work out the marriage. You didn't have to divorce them if you found out one of them had been folding around before marriage. Which today seems silly because it's so common. But then it was considered unbelievable. What? It's unbelievable! So they come to Jesus in verse 3. The Pharisees also came to him, testing him, and saying to him, Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason? Now, you think, well, of course not, but you have to understand. First century Judaism was driven by two theological schools. There were actually two schools in Judea, and they had different viewpoints on this. Because what is this? You can divorce her for uncleanness. What does that mean? You marry her and she finds someone for cleanness, what does that mean? Well, the school of Shammai said that it has to be a sexual sin. It can only be a sexual sin. Well, you know that can't be totally true. I mean, what if you marry a man and find out that he's a professional thief? That's fraud, right? He didn't know it. He lied to you because he's a professional liar, professional thief. Oh, we have a problem here. But they had a very narrow definition, and that was uncleanness in the woman. Of course, by the first century it was really hard. Well, even in the Old Testament it was really hard for a woman to divorce a man. That's because the man was expected to be righteous and be a good leader, which we're usually not. But it was expected. You're expected to be righteous and a good leader. In the poor women, I always go back to Abigail, she was the righteous and the good leader, and he wasn't. Nabal wasn't. There's lots of examples like that in the Bible.

But it was just expected. That's what the man would be. So what does uncleanness mean? Well, the school of Hillel said, it's whatever...basically I'm paraphrasing it... it's whatever the husband decides. Like, I had no idea she was a horrible cook. And I'm a miserable man because three times a day I eat horrible meals, therefore that's unclean.

Now, I don't know if anybody ever used that argument, but the school of Hillel did. So when they come and ask him, which side of this thing are you on? So he's going to answer in the context of which side of this argument are you on? And so Jesus says, verse 4, And he answered and said to them, Have you not read that he who made them at the beginning made them male and female? Now, where does he go? Well, let's go back to the institution of marriage.

God created marriage as something holy. It was separated for him. It's for his purposes. And he said, you do enormous blessing to humanity. It's a blessing he gave. We don't like the blessing. We think there's something better. He says, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, when God is joined together, let no man separate.

What God has joined. Marriage is adjoining by God. How much more is that in the church? How much more is that in the church? Marriage isn't just between two people. Well, I don't want to be with her anymore. She makes me unhappy. And God says, Well, we made a covenant here, son. Go fix it. Well, I didn't know when I married him. You know, he's just a barbarian. I mean, some days he doesn't even take a shower. He'll go all weekend, and he won't shave, except he has to go to church. I don't want to be with him anymore. God says, No, you made a covenant.

You made a covenant with me, and it was a holy covenant. So he worked these things out. We just can't walk away from our marriages. Work it out. So then he says, they said to him, Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce? Now, they're twisting the law here. Think about it. You've got this sort of male-dominated society, so they have all the cards when it comes to divorce. I divorce you. Well, now you're a marked woman, and you're just thrown out. How do you even get a job? Maybe your family disowns you. This is what happens in the Arab world.

Think about Middle Eastern culture. God, through Moses, said, No, no, no, no, no, no. Divorce is a legal matter, because marriage is a legal matter. This isn't just a matter of two people falling in love. It is a matter of the law of the Almighty God.

Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not commit adultery. It's one of the big ten, right? It's in the same category as murder. Why? Because marriage is a covenant with God with laws. And if there is a legal divorce, she has to receive a document that says, I received a legal divorce. Maybe her husband committed adultery. There had to be a certificate.

There had to be an issue of law. All the elders would get together and say, Yes, she has received a legal divorce. You can't throw her out in the street as a marked woman. She has received a legal divorce. This is very important. So their argument now, we got him now. Because Moses said you have to issue it. Of course he did. The laws have to be applied to men and women here in this issue.

But he said, Jesus says, Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce with your wives. But from the beginning it was not so. He says, okay. It's only because you are corrupt, mundane, common, and not holy that you have divorces. You shouldn't even have one. Of course he had to do that because of you. Not because of God. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery.

And whoever marries her, whose divorce commits adultery. He goes back to, okay, it has to do with sexual immorality and uncleanness. And he gives this narrow definition in terms of the culture that they were in and the law of God. Verse 10, now look at his disciples' reaction to this.

His disciples said to him, if such is the case for the man and his wife, it is better not to marry. Okay, but I married a battle axe. She fights with me all the time. And I, according to Hillel, can divorce her because, well, she's not a kind, gentle woman. And women should be kind and gentle. And this woman, I should... God says, no, you married her. You should have known better. She's yours now. And the disciples said, now remember, it's hard for women to get divorced. And the disciples say, oh my, we're stuck with these women.

And she says, yes. Not only are you stuck with them, you're supposed to make this a holy relationship. Guys, why you're the leader? Our leadership in marriage has been watered down. Maleness and masculinity has been so attacked and so watered down, we don't even know what it means anymore to be a biblical male. We don't. And then Jesus says this. This is real important because He's now speaking to His followers, His disciples, the Church. And He said to them, all cannot accept this saying. He says, I'm going to tell you, many people are going to reject. But only those to whom it has been given, only those who are really drawn to God who, becoming holy, can understand this.

For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men. There are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He was able to accept it, let Him accept it. I have to admit, I used to think, what does that mean? And then you look at the Apostle Paul, who spent many years, it seems like, unmarried or left his wife or whatever, because he's out doing the work of God and she's not with him.

It appears he was not married because he asked at one point, hey, if I want to get married, can I get married? I'm a grown man, I can get married. So he must not have been married. It would have been hard to be...how does a wife tag along with the Apostle Paul? Does she get stoned too?

But it's an interesting thing. I remember many, many years ago, I went on a marriage counseling with an older minister, and these people hated each other. And he listened very calmly, and at the end he said, I think you should separate. I do not believe you have the right to remarry because you both are in the church and you both claim to have God's Spirit.

And there hasn't been a reason, a biblical reason, to divorce. But it is better to be single than to end up in the lake of fire. And he went to this verse. It is better that you be celibate than go to the lake of fire.

And one of those people stayed celibate the rest of his life. As far as he is still alive today, he is not married. The woman went off to the church and married somebody else.

And decided that minister and me both were instruments of Satan.

There are times when the institution of marriage may require that it not be destroyed, that it not be profaned. And therefore, people may have to remain celibate to honor marriage. That sounds weird, doesn't it?

Jesus Christ said it.

See how we profane this? See how we profaned it?

Now, the Apostle Paul, we've been going through 1 Corinthians and the In-Home Bible studies. And we've been in 1 Corinthians for a year, and we're only up to chapter 13.

And we haven't even started 2 Corinthians yet.

And we've dealt with some of the issues Paul had to deal with. So I want to go to 1 Corinthians 7, because once again, this is misunderstood in the context of holding marriage.

1 Corinthians 7.

And I won't go through the whole chapter, but this is a very, very important chapter.

Now, concerning the things of which you wrote me, remember, they wrote a letter to Paul asking questions. I wish I knew what the question was.

Paul just gives the answer. If we knew what the question was, it'd actually make a little more sense.

So Paul was answering something they had asked him. Now, to really understand this, we have to understand the world they lived in.

Corinth was a remarkably sexually permissive city, and you have to understand a number of reasons why. One, on both sides of Corinth were seaports, and sailors are famous for their conduct. They've been on sea for a long time, and both of those seaports were very open cities.

But those were just the first landing points. Everybody went to Corinth. In fact, even in the Roman world, the word Corinth, or Corinthian, became a synonym for fornication. Oh, you're just a Corinthian! Means you're living a wild lifestyle.

But the Corinthians could really make money at this. On the hill above Corinth is a giant, the ruins are there today, a very, very large temple, Aphrodite, the goddess of love. And we know from ancient records that they had about a thousand temple prostitutes there.

The economy of Corinth was really...you can imagine all these sailors coming in. Plus, if you grew up in Corinth, you were expected to go there. Happily married doesn't matter. That is part of your worship of Aphrodite, the goddess who protects your city.

That is why Paul, in 1 Corinthians, chastises some men for going to prostitutes. We think, well, how weird were these men to come into Christianity and go to prostitutes? No. That had been their custom. You think, why didn't their wives stop them? Well, they had grown up in a society where occasionally you had to go worship Aphrodite. And not only the men, but the women.

See, worldviewed is shaped by the world you grew up in. That seems bizarre to us. It seems perverted to us. To the Corinthians, it seemed good and righteous because Aphrodite, obviously, had blessed their city. They were wealthy. They were known throughout the world. They had lots of beautiful buildings. It was a great place to live. And this was all part of their worldview. They thought it was good.

And these people have come into the church because the people who have come into the Corinth, there are very few Jews. There's almost nothing said about Jews. It's about them. These people who had come in from this pagan background. Their whole idea of marriage is just wrapped up in so many different things. And Paul is trying to help them sort it out. Now, here is the question that they had asked. It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

That's his answer. So the question would be, is it just better if we all say, that has to be the question. And in your case, yes.

Paul says, actually, you people are so messed up. Now remember, this is a Jewish man who is a Christian. In the Jewish world, it was considered shameful not to be married. If you weren't married, it was a shame on you.

So here is this man, a Jewish man, a Christian man, saying, yeah, it's best you don't. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. So he says, but because if all of you become celibate, coming out of this permissive society, you're just going to have more permissiveness going on. So, yeah, it's better you don't, but you better get married.

You're going to have all kinds of problems. And I sat down in marriage counseling once in a while with a couple and said, because of your permissive background, both of you, you're going to have some issues that can be worked out, can be solved, can be healed, but you're going to have to work through them. And had that discussion. And Paul's telling a whole church, Ah, boy, your marriage is going to be really, really tough.

And then he has to do something else that's amazing in all this. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due to her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. But do not deprive one another, except with consent, for a time that you may give yourselves a fasting and prayer, and then come together again so that Satan does not tempt you, because of your lack of self-control.

So now he says, but when you do get married, he has to command them to have a physical relationship with marriage. It's a messed up group of people. Holy marriage is so far from their concept, and he's trying to bring them into this, in this promiscuous world. He says, you know, it's better you all say, but you can't. But when you do get married, you have to stay with her, and she has to stay with you, and it has to be entirely exclusive.

That's what he's telling them. This was a shock to these people. This isn't how they learned to live life. This isn't what they had learned since they were children. This wasn't their worldview. You have to get into the curvy in mind to understand the shock. We all think, how could they not understand it? Because they had never heard it. In the Roman world, by the way, they were very, very strict about marriage. You could have an affair as long as you weren't caught. If you were caught, then you were, oh, a scandal. But everybody had affairs. Well, wealthy people did.

Poor people couldn't afford to have affairs, right? But if you were middle class and wealthy, lots of affairs. Probably the people who had the best marriages were slaves. Except your owners would do with you whatever they wanted because you were a piece of property, and that was not considered immoral.

It was not considered immoral to abuse a piece of property. That's the world they lived in. And Paul is trying to bring... These are Christians. And Paul is trying to bring them to an understanding. He says, in verse 6, But I say to you as a concession, not as a command. He says, I can't tell you this because this is what God wants.

I'm just telling you because you people are messed up. He says, For I wish that all men were as I am myself, but each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. So at this point he was celibate.

He was living without a wife. But I say to the unmarried and to the widow, it is good for them if they remain as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry, for it is better to marry than burn with passion.

What a remarkable set of scripture! But you've got to put it in the context of that world. He's saying, this is holy! I don't know how to help you make it holy. Because of your experiences. I don't know how to do that. When human sexuality is part of pagan ritual, how do you come out of that and make this holy before God? We live in such a promiscuous world that we have to think in terms of, we have to come into the holiness and the uniqueness of marriage. With God's Spirit we can be healed of anything.

Because he forgives. But we have to make it holy. This has to be holy between a husband and a wife. Because even human sexuality was declared holy by God for his followers. It is a blessing and it is to be unique. So he tells them to keep their marriage vows. In verse 10, he says, Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord.

He says, okay, for you unmarried, boy, if you could stay unmarried, after all you people have been through, that's good. But you can't, I understand. To the married, God says this. And he gives them all kinds of commands. And I want you to get down...well, let's go and read this whole passage. And then I won't do the second half of the sermon. This is what God says. A wife is not to depart from her husband.

But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. Okay, that's the command to the church. And he says, God says this. So if you do divorce in the church, you're to remain eunuchs for the kingdom of God. Unless there's a reason. Now sometimes there is a reason. I mean, someone can break, commit fraud, or do something, and then repent later. But the divorce has taken place. Maybe they've actually been removed from the church for a while.

In which case, there was a reason for the divorce. I mean, there are reasons. And we can't tell everybody the reasons. But a lot of divorces in the church...not a lot, I can't say that. Some divorces in the church do not have a biblical reason. They just decide to do it. I've seen people leave the church, divorce, and come back. And it was okay because they weren't in the church when they got married the second time.

That is against the command. It is a serious, serious holiness issue, obedience issue to God. But to the rest, I, not the Lord, say, if any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. Now this is different than what ancient Israel was told. In Ezra, they're all coming back from that captivity. This is what Malachi is dealing with later. But Ezra comes back and says, wow, everybody here is married to pagans, and you all have a pagan religion because of that.

And he says, God says, divorce them. So he actually commanded them to divorce them. Now this is different in the church. In the church, when we...you know, because many people come into the church with an unbelieving maid. He says, no, no, no, no, no, don't divorce them. Don't divorce them. And there's a reason why. It's different than ancient Israel, and it has to do with God's spirit in us.

I've had people say, well, I went and married somebody outside the church, and I don't like them. I want to divorce them. So you can't. Well, they're not...they don't have God's spirit. They didn't make a covenant with God. You did. I've had a couple cases where someone left the church over. But it's my fourth marriage. But it was okay because every time the person married outside the church. So I can dump them. Ezra said I could.

Paul said you can't. Now you...there's reasons for a divorce here. Now remember, Jesus didn't say this. People said, well, Jesus and Paul are saying two different things. Who's Jesus talking to? Pharisees. And Israelites. Who's Paul talking to? Pagans who are coming into the church. They're two different groups. They have a whole new problem that Jesus never had to deal with because nobody there had a situation like this.

So Paul's dealing with a brand new situation in the church. We still get them today. A brand new situation. We have to figure out how to use the Word of God to deal with a new situation.

And Paul says, if any brother is a wife who does not believe and she's willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. Make that marriage work. Be a Christian. Love that person even though they aren't a follower of God. Now, you talk about difficulty. That person, well, okay, I'm married to an agnostic or I'm married to a Protestant. You have some worldview to discuss. He might be talking to someone who worships Zeus or Aphrodite. Now, that would be adultery so they could leave. But you understand, these people could be absolute pagans.

He said, wait a minute, wait a minute. You came to the church, they didn't...okay. You're still under the covenant. You made a covenant here with God. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.

Now, let me stop here for a minute. We have to be careful about willingness. I'm willing to stay with you. I know of men, I can think of situations, where a woman stayed with a husband because she was in the church and he wasn't. And he was willing to have her around. While he sexually abused her, was drunk all the time, violent, used drugs, was a criminal.

But I've seen cases where a woman said, well, he's willing to stay with me.

This says, those are all fraud, those are all reasons for divorce, okay?

Women, you are not required to have, if you have an unbelief, and if your husband is in the church and does those things, come talk to me, because we need to ask him to leave the church.

If he's sexually abusing you and drunk all the time and is a criminal, and using drugs and selling drugs, come see me, because I will ask him to leave.

Because he is an unbeliever. So don't, we can't take this and say, well, I've got to stay with him even though he beats me up every night. No, you don't!

But I've seen that misused. No, you don't.

But, well, I don't like him. And, you know, I would like to spend the Sabbath sitting around and reading the Bible, and he's sitting around watching college football.

Just be thankful he's not beating you. Come on! We can live with football, okay?

Our responsibility as the converted one is enormous, and here's why. It has to do with holiness. Look at the next part of this. He says, this is verse 14, for the unbelieving husband is what? What's that word? Anybody?

Made holy. He has a special access to God because of you. Now, he's not holy in that he has God's Spirit, but he has a special access to God because of you. That's enormous. You think how much God lobs you? That he looks at your unconverted mate and says, you can come talk to me, too? Isn't that amazing?

He says that unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband.

And then the rest of the sentence is just as dramatic. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.

Our children, once again, if you're six years old and you can understand this, you have access to God.

Now, that doesn't mean that you're going to end up converted at age 25. We all have choices to make. There are callings that God gives.

But I'm saying you have access to God that other people do not have because, he says, you are not quite like other people. You are special to me.

And if you're 15, God sees you as holy. Now, we don't think about that, do we?

And next time, if you have an unconverted mate, you really get upset with him or her, remember, God says, oh, wait a minute, wait a minute, because of me, that person has access to God.

Because of me, maybe I should treat her a little better. Maybe we should see her the way God sees her. Maybe we should see our children the way God sees them, because of us. They have access to God.

Marriage is a big thing, isn't it?

Now, verse 15, but if the unbeliever departs, let him depart. A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.

Okay, so your unbelieving mate decides to divorce you, then God says, let him go. Let him go.

For how do you know a wife, whether you will save your husband, or how do you know a husband, whether you will save your wife?

Now, something we weren't able to get into, but I'm going to go a little over. I say a little over. We actually officially have two-hour services. I don't try to speak more than an hour, but I think I started at five after.

Okay, 2 Corinthians 6. Now, in the context of all this, let's look at 2 Corinthians 6, because this is a common issue in the church, and we need to think it through. What does it mean to be an unbeliever? That's questionable. If someone believes in God and has a rudimentary calling from God, then they're not really an unbeliever.

Here he's talking in cases of pagans.

But we need to think about whether a person is a believer or not if you are a believer. So I'm not baptized. I don't have God's Spirit, but you're already holy.

You're already holy. Not completely. You don't have God's Spirit, but you're already holy because you're called by God.

That's what Scripture says.

2 Corinthians 6.14. Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness?

A person could be a Christian and still be lawless in accordance to God's law, so we've got to think these things through.

And what accord is Christ with Belial? In other words, with paganism.

And what part is a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols?

He says, wait a minute, you're going to go marry a worshiper of Zeus? Now he already said, if you're already married to a worshiper of Zeus, be a good husband. Be a good wife.

But you have a choice here? Now here's the hard part. You say, and I know this, I've sat with people who have cried, some of my own family members, but I can't find anybody that's a believer to marry. That's tough. That takes a belief and a faith in God that is about as real a faith as you ever have. It takes an enormous faith.

And once again, even the definition of a believer, he specifically is talking about pagans. But I'm not going to get into that, because, oh good, I can go marry a Catholic. Well, we've got to be careful about certain things. What is lawlessness here? What is idolatry, by the way? You've got to know what a real idolatry is.

He says, for you are the temple of the living God. So if we have God's Spirit in us, we are the Holy Temple.

Look how God treated the temple in the Old Testament. We are the Holy Temple. As God has said, I will dwell in them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Therefore, come out from among them and be separate. Holiness has to do with being separate. Being separate means the living life that you're out of step and uncomfortable with the world around you. You can't help it. You just are.

Says the Lord, do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you. And here's why. And I will be a father to you, and you shall be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty. He says, I've called you to be holy like I am holy, so that we will have this relationship. We will have this relationship. I will be your father. Jesus Christ says, I will be your brother.

And that's why we're called. That's what holiness is all about.

We are inundated with everything that destroys marriage. Why is it that God would be upset with pornography? It's not mentioned specifically in the Bible, but we come to the conclusion he would be.

Why is it that God is upset with just being promiscuous before marriage? Why is he really upset with adultery? Even more so than sex before marriage. He's really upset with that.

Why is God openly upset against homosexuality?

And if we're not careful, we get into the secular humanist, or what is called the religious humanist movement, which is God loves homosexuals. God accepts homosexuals because they were born that way. If we understand God, and what he says is holy, homosexuality is directly against the holiness of marriage. Now, working through homosexuality is the same as working through any other sexual issue.

If someone has lived their whole life going out every Saturday night and picking up a girl in a bar, it may be harder to convert that person than someone who is a homosexual who turns to God. Those kinds of things change who we are. So we can't look at one thing and say, Oh, homosexuals could never be converted. Oh, wow, that's a scary thing to say.

According to Paul, some of you are these things too, but you're not anymore. That's what he said, and he talks about it with sexuals in it.

It's what makes transgenderism abhorrent to God.

It is an abomination to God. Does that mean he doesn't love transgenders? Does it mean a transgender could never be in the kingdom? That's not what it means. But what causes a person to do that is abhorrent to God, and to defend it is abhorrent to God.

I keep going back to where in the New Testament, the Apostle Paul talks about evolution, he talks about homosexuality, and he talks about how some of these people know better. At the end, he says they are worthy of death, and even those who support such things. You don't have to be a participant to be judged by God. You just have to be a supporter.

Just be a supporter.

I've had, you know, I've counseled many homosexuals or numerous over the years. Some came in the church, some didn't. I never ended in a bad relationship with them. We could shake hands and walk away, but either change or walk away.

But I've dealt with people who were, you know, just habitually committed adultery, and had to go through counseling with them, and the reason is the point, you either shake hands and get converted, or you shake hands and walk away.

The holiness of marriage does not allow us to continue those activities as Christians. It does not.

It does not.

The relationship you have between as husband or wife was sanctified by God. It is not common. It is not unclean.

That's why Adam and Eve were not, had no shame or guilt. And that's why in the New Testament it says the marriage bed is undefiled.

It's part of the holy institution.

We don't think of that, do we?

That relationship is part of a holy institution created by God.

And he said, this is good.

He created it man and wife, man and woman, and he said, Hey, to the angels, what did he say? I did good work.

He was quite proud of what he had created. I don't mean in the human sense. I mean, God can be proud that it's not pride. You know, what I mean in the negative sense. He looked at what he did. He looked at that man and woman and said, What I've created here is not only good, which he said about all the other creations, he said it's very good.

There's emphasis. Creating them was very good.

And part of it was being male and female.

So there's, the marriage bed is undefiled. There's no shame. There's no guilt.

It is a blessing from God.

Because it's God's holiness.

We have received God's Holy Spirit, and we are to be sanctified.

We are to take on attributes of holiness.

And that means that we should be living in our marriages.

In our marriages.

There should be exhibited attributes of the holiness of God.