Cementing the Family

Let's turn over to Genesis 2. We're going to talk about a topic here related to family. In Genesis 2, we have continuation, more of the details of what had happened on the sixth day of creation when God created human beings in His own likeness and image. And just cutting on over to verse 18. Genesis 2 verse 18. And the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him.

And there's a lot to that topic, that statement. Man needed help. Man on his own.

A man alone is incomplete. A husband or wife together complete each other, and it begins a new little family unit. And many of you, like Denise and I, we've seen one child after another reach a point where they finish school and they find someone, they marry, they move off.

Now they start their own little family. Let's get beyond down to verse 21. The Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept. He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man, he made into a woman. And he brought her to the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. They were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. And so here we have this not only institution of marriage, but also the institution of family. Marriage, family, these were given a divine sanction at the creation. We have what we call bonds of holy matrimony, and that begins a little family unit. In my mind, it seems like just the other day I was standing there, and I had to get up enough togetherness to be able to say I do. But you know, it's a long time ago. That was 61475. See, she was a very prescient woman. She foresaw the fact that I was going to need that many times. I can pull that ring off and look inside. 61475. That's 38 and a half years ago, almost. Long time. I look back at wedding photos now, and I say to her dad, I said, how could you let your daughter go off with a kid like that? Now, I was a whole 22 years of age. Didn't have a clue yet what life had in store for us. But a family unit is formed first with two, and then as God may bless babies, maybe then there's three. My own family, there were four of us. I have three siblings. So we were a family of six. My dad was one of seven children, so that was a family of nine. And then others have one child, like our son and daughter-in-law up in Bristol.

But that's three. That's the family unit. And so it's something God designed from the beginning. And family is built upon a spirit of love and service of thinking of the other and deferring what one's own selfish wants may be because of the greater need of the overall family. I'm going to call this sermon cementing the family. Cementing the family. And we're not talking about quick read here. We're not talking about superglue even. We're not talking about duct tape. But we want to talk about how to bind a family together. There are keys. There are keys to binding a family together. Being in the same room with the television going just doesn't cut it. Riding somewhere in the same vehicle doesn't really cut it. There are keys. And I want to cover... I'll see how far I get. I've got 10 written down. We'll see how far we get. The first one is play. We bind the family together through play. Let's turn over to Zechariah 8.

Zechariah 8. Almost to the end of the Old Testament. So go to Matthew and back up two chapters.

Zechariah 8. And here in this prophetic area, in chapter 8, he's talking about God returning to Zion and dwelling in Jerusalem. Let's read verses 4 and 5. Zechariah 8 verses 4 and 5. Thus says the Lord of hosts, Old men and old women shall again sit in the streets of Jerusalem. Now, as we know prophetically, there will be a time of trouble such as the world has never seen.

And Jesus himself, when he walked the earth, he said that when you see these armies surrounding Jerusalem, then you know it's near. And there will be a devastation, but there will be a time when once again, you're going to have elderly people in the streets of Jerusalem, each one with his staff in his hand because of great age, the streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls playing in its streets. A child's life in growing up should involve a lot of praying, a lot of playing, praying too, but playing. A lot of times of family members, parents getting down on the floor and wrestling around with them. Boy, the times I remember being on the bottom of the pile, sometimes of three of them on top of me. But if we go back to our days in West Texas, that's where John was born, the youngest one. But there were times on the bottom of the pile in the living room was dad. And I had an eight-year-old, a six-year-old, and a two-year-old piled on top of me. And it was great sport, a lot of fun. And then there were times when their grandparents came. And grandparents were doing the same thing, playing with them. We've got some old photos. Of course, my dad's been long gone more than 21 years ago, but we've got some photos. We were at the farm there in Oklahoma, and our son John was holding this big plastic bat. He wasn't, but probably three or four years old, and my dad was out there just lobbing that big plastic ball. And then John would whack it once in a while. And you know, it's memories that the kids have that are treasure in their memories forever. When I was a kid, my mother was the one that brought technology into the family. When dad and mom married, she had one of these little super eight millimeter movie cameras.

And once in a while, one of the big treats was, as a family, dad would get out the old projector, and he'd put one of those reels on. And we'd watch these old family movies from back when we were a little bitty kids. And somewhere along the line, my sister was just a few years old, and somewhere along the line, the camera broke. And all of a sudden, it just cut off. Well, it's a lot easier with technology today. You know, somebody will whip out their camera and take photos or take movie clips all the time. Those old memories are awesome to hang on to and to share with children. Children need to be taught a sense of roots with the family, where we came from, story, lessons learned, mistakes made. You know, I've told families, those younger ones who have little children at home especially, have the policy that you always take a kid. You know, if you're going to run down to Lowe's or going to run down to Walmart to get a few items, always take a kid. Take a child with you. It's something you do together, and they'll remember that forever. And, you know, just this last week, some of the projects I had at our daughter Jenny's house, there's a hardware store in that little town, and so she'd come in for lunch, and I'd say, well, I've got four items here I need to get from the store. So we went. Only this time, she drove and I rode. It seems like it ought to be the other way around. But, anyhow, she's used to driving on snow and ice these days, and winter has hit up there. So always take a kid, and whether it's skating, goes up north and go ice skating, or whether it's fishing, boy, I have memories all the way back, fishing with the cane pole when I was a little bit of kid, and whether it's driving that tractor the first time. Camping, that's something I did when we were in California. We were in, well, far northern Los Angeles County, thankfully, up over the mountains and down in the high desert. But every summer, we'd had we'd had daddy and kid camping weekends. So on a Saturday night, I'd take Ben, just one child, we'd go up there. He and I would camp by this stream up at about 8,000 elevation. We'd go fishing the next day. A few, you know, a couple or three weeks later, I'd do that with Jenny. Two or three weeks later, I'd do that with John. But every summer, it was daddy and kid camp out. If we don't make it a priority, these opportunities get away from us. So play is number one. Number two is talk. And I'll add talk with each other. I caught myself a lot of times as a parent talking to my children a bit too many times. You know, as a parent, you like to roll that tape back and redo some things, but you can't do that. It's likely, you know, the song Cats in the Cradle. I'm gonna be like you, dad. And you find out. Yep, he grows up just like you. But talking with children. There's a book I've got a home. It's probably came out in the 80s written by Ross Campbell, How to Really Love Your Teenager. How to Really Love Your Teenager. And the thing I really appreciated about Campbell's book was he described all of us. And frankly, it's not just children. It's not just teenagers. It's all of us. Every human being has what he called this emotional well. And we need that well filled up by other people in the family and from our friends and from our neighbors, our co-workers.

And a child especially is going to go through life and they're going to be asking the question. I mean, not verbally, but they come to you. They come to us as parents and grandparents and they want to know do you love me? Do I matter? Do you notice me? And they need to have that well filled up. And if it's not filled up, they might ask that question by their behavior. They might even misbehave because sometimes they find that's when they get attention through misbehaving. I saw a study. It's years old now, but the study found that the average married couple spent 17 minutes per week in conversing with each other. You know, it's sad, but in a marriage you can grow apart from each other that way.

Now, this young lady that I married, I remember the first day I met her. He was at Master College Big Sandy, Texas. I'd been there a year, so I was a lofty sophomore. Must have been 19 years old, you know, real mature. But when I met her, the first day we met after church at One Sabbath, we talked probably for two or three hours. And I got home off of a plane late Thursday night. It was late, so we didn't have much chance to get caught up in. But last night, we put in a few more hours getting caught up. And the same is true within a family. We've got to maintain that by our conversation with each other. The study went on and said that the average father converses two minutes a day with each child. Two minutes? Oh, yeah, yeah, we'd like to roll that tape back and erase or redo certain parts. I remember a time working as an electrician down in Birmingham. And there were times where there were job sites, you know, jobs going. And I had to be there as a foreman at seven o'clock. Well, now the men were coming at seven, I'd get there at 6 30 and kind of go over the prints and get my head together as far as whatever had a line out everybody for what we're gonna do that day. And I'd leave the house and Ben wasn't awake yet.

And we'd work 10 hours. Well, sometimes there's a service call or two that would come in, we'd get of an evening. There are too many times, too many times, I went and kissed Ben goodbye of a morning before he was awake. And I came home that night. And he was already down for the night. There were times a few years later, Denise would say, Well, do you remember when Ben, when he was one and a half?

And I'd say, No. Boy, I'd like to redo some of that. We made up for time later. I mean, as, as, you know, his life situation changed. Boy in Texas, he and I would go hunting. We'd go out just shooting in 22, you know, when he was eight and 10 and 12. And we made up for some of that. But you still have those memories. You can't roll it back and redo it. But two minutes a day talking with a child. That's, that's not gonna, that's not gonna cut it. Far too often, television destroys our family. Many years ago, I read a book called The Plug-in Drug. It's, you know, it's probably 20, 25 years old now. But the plug-in drug, the author is Marie Nguyen, W-I-N-N. She talked about just the devastation that can come about from having that television on all the time. It destroys the ability to converse. Early this year, Denise and I decided, we're tired of paying for cable television service.

First of all, we never watch it. And what's on there is just trash. Now, there are to this day, a couple of news channels I wish I had. But there's other way of getting news. So we dropped our service. I've got rabbit ears, and I can get 12 channels. And sure enough, there's nothing on that I want to watch. Well, I just spent eight days in a place in Alaska where they don't even own a television. And it was the most delightful thing. And of an evening, Jenny and I would sit, and we'd talk. You know, maybe she'd read, and I'd read together, and then we'd stop, and we'd talk. And it was, it felt so good. So, the television. But we need to talk with them because they need that sense of roots. They need to hear stories of grandparents and great grandparents.

I don't know if I've said this yet, but Jenny's about four months along on the way to giving us a grandchild. Let's go to Hebrews 13. Hebrews 13. And notice verse 16.

Hebrews 13 verse 16. And I'm reading the New King James here. It says, But do not forget to do good and to share, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.

Now, I checked several translations on that, and it basically has that meaning of doing good, of serving, and sharing with others. But I do think it's interesting. A few of you probably have the old King James, and it says, To communicate, forget not. And it's interesting that the King James translators decided, you know, we need to use this word communicate.

And I think it's important to look at it in that point of view. Children need to be in on what's going on in the family, and their parents' job or jobs, and plans, and future, and school. And we do that by talking with them. And that includes listening to them, which sometimes as parents we aren't always that good in doing. Listening to them. All right, number two is talk number three has to do with emotional needs. Emotional needs. Now, I mentioned Ross Campbell's book, and this emotional well that everybody has, and how that a child especially is going to buy their behavior, if not by their words. They're going to ask you, Do you love me? Am I still safe here? You know, family members are there to give encouragement to children, to support, to involve children with their lives. Often we're sad. You know, we have things that just are downers. And there are times we're glad, and times we're frustrated. Children need to learn how to interface with the world by being a part of how we're dealing with the stresses of life. You know, it's interesting. I found this article was in, actually it appeared in the United News January 2008, so several years ago. And it's pulling together, pulling together. One of our pastors, Dan Boud up in Minnesota, wrote this. And he writes here that in 1885, the World Series of Mule Team Competition was held in Chicago, Illinois. Now that sounds like that's off the end of the universe for us. Mule Teens. That's been so long gone, hasn't it? Well, maybe some of you remember it, but I don't. My first memory was we either fired off a Farm Hall C or the Farm Hall M and hooked on to something and did it that way. The winning, this is this 1885 World Series of Mule Team Competition, the winning team of mules was able to pull 9,000 pounds. Can you imagine that? They had this pallet, this dead weight of 9,000 pounds, and they'd back up and cinch up, and they could pull it a certain distance. The second place team pulled slightly less.

Well, while they were still there, someone came up with the idea of hitching both the first and second teams of mules together. Now, if one pulled 9,000 and one pulled almost 9,000, you'd think, you know, they can probably pull 18,000 pounds. That's a lot of weight. But the two teams together easily pulled 18,000, and they kept adding weight, and they kept adding weight. And together, the teams were successful in pulling 30,000 pounds. And that's where you get this word synergy, and there's a synergy of a family, where, you know, in a marriage, two come together, and two accomplish more and become greater than they ever would have been as single individuals. And then you have children. You have three or four. You know, you have a family of five, six, seven. And there is this strength that follows. Now, his article goes on to me. It's a fascinating story, where there was a young man there named Ed Stiles. He had come from Death Valley, California, from working back in the Borax mines. Now, if you're familiar with buying boxes of Borax, what does it have on it? 20 team, yep. And that's where it came from. He went back from this competition, and they decided, well, let's gang a number of teams together. And you've probably seen pictures. And I think on the box, there is a picture, this big, you know, the side boards on that wagon go way up. But you've got all these teams and mules out in front, and they'd meander through those roads and getting out to where they could get to a rail and ship it all over. There was a synergy. There's to be a synergy with a family. A family is supposed to be a safe haven from a world, a world, sometimes a cruel world. The least and I have laughed, and you know, we think back over the years, there were times that wherever we lived, we'd close that door on a Friday evening as the Sabbath was beginning. And there were times when I'd actually say, goodbye, cruel world. And God's Sabbath came, and we shut it out symbolically for a day, and we got a break from it. But you know, Saturday night, Sunday, we go back, we go back out among it.

But a family is to be a safe haven. And we all need someone to rejoice with and to be sad with.

We need someone to support us, even when we go out and we get hurt. Maybe we even make our own mistakes. Maybe we did something wrong, but family loves us. And they need someone to smile and to nod and to give support and say, you'll get it next time. You'll do it differently the next time. You'll learn a lesson from that mistake. And they need someone to tell us, well done. Throughout life, we have these emotional needs, and hopefully we have the family support group that will provide that for us. Okay, number four has to do with culture. There are cultural or aesthetic pursuits that we should partake in as far as a family. We're better than within the family. We grow up learning to appreciate art and beauty and to have someone to share it with. I spent a lot of years out on the road by myself, and there have been times when I've seen the most beautiful awe-inspiring sights. But there's nobody with me at the time to share it with.

How much more enjoyable is it? You know, we've gone on trips when the kids were little, went on a trip with the garrisons, the grandparents, all the way up to Yellowstone National Park. And we'd come up over a rise, and here'd be a whole herd of buffalo out there. Or elk. You know, you fill in. But we were together, and we could oooh and aah and marvel at it together. But I remember one time being in the mountains over at Roodoso, New Mexico. When we lived in Lubbock, Texas, there was a church in Roswell and then another 80 miles up in the mountains. Roodoso was up over 7000 elevation. There was a visit I was on, a woman there I was counseling for baptism. Her husband, the three of us, sat there in a living room, and it started snowing.

Well, now in Lubbock, Texas, it was probably 80 degrees, but over there, front hit there first, and it started snowing. And by the time I was driving out of there, there was six inches of snow. And I was thinking, well, I hope I can get this little car out of here.

But it was an absolute winter wonderland. And as I went, of course, as soon as I leave there, I'm going down in elevation. I leave the snow in no time, but it was just a winter wonderland. And by the time I get over the house, it's hot in Lubbock. And I told them about it, but how much greater would it have been had we been there together? Denise and I have, of course, thoroughly enjoyed going to the Philippines. And they are a most talented people. They put on variety shows or fun shows. And it's not like some of the fun shows that I've been used to at camp and at church social sometimes when it's kind of some of its talent and some of it's just just fun. Those people are talented. I mean, they pull off up there at Baguio City and they have it's like it's choreographed. And just one after another after another, whether it's dancing, it's singing. I mean, one year we saw a 15 year old boy walk up there and he sang like he was ready for the opera. Beautiful. But you know, it's life simpler there. They don't have all the things we have here that distracts them. And so they grow up and they play the guitar and they play the piano and they play some of their instruments. And they have time of an evening and they do it together. So they enjoy those things. And you know, sadly, if we aren't careful, we can lose that. And I think as a people here in America, we are getting away from that. There's a lot of talent. But you know, I remember my grandmothers, they just break out with singing a certain old song. And with each generation, it seems like we've done less of that and less of that. And you lose it if you don't use those things. But there are cultural pursuits we can partake of as a family to find a way to help them in learning music and dance and encourage their education in those areas as we're able to.

And help them appreciate proper type of music and make it available to them. Once in a while over the years, I know in California, we were able to take the kids and we went to see actually with a church group, we went to see the play Cats.

And then Phantom of the Opera was down in Los Angeles. I mean, the Andrew Lloyd Webber one. It was an awesome show. And it was just fantastic. But you know, there are all types of cultural pursuits. It could be decorating a home. It could be just learning the basics of appropriate dress and grooming and color coordination and modesty, which thankfully we have here in this congregation, which is a wonderful blessing that we don't always have. But we live in a world that will develop taste and values for us. But hopefully as a family, we're the ones forming those high standards in cultural pursuits. Number five, creativity. Creativity. In other words, you want to cement the family together, build something together, work on something together. You know, God's building his temple. And Christ grew up in a household where he was referred to as the carpenter, the carpenter's son. He built homes. There's a lot of years there between age 12 and age 30 then when he began his ministry. And I'm sure he worked hard. Somewhere along the line, we don't hear of Joseph anymore. He, as the oldest son, probably was taking the role of being the primary breadwinner for the family. But he grew up in a household where they built.

And certainly we can build things together and have projects and goals to work toward and decorate and embellish and improve what we have. We can encourage children to find and enjoy hobbies.

All types of hobbies are available. Everybody's different. There are some that enjoy. See Jerry York, he's the one that does the stamp collecting down the Leeds Church. Others collect coins, but others learn. It was interesting walking through an airport two different times. There'd be a woman sitting there and actually probably early 30s, both cases. I'd see a woman sitting there and she had her needle workout and she's sitting there just whatever. I don't know the terms, but I thought that was interesting. You know how many have lost that talent because they're not learning it from up the line. But cooking and sewing and making and designing things and building projects out on the farm. We had a farm shop, a welder, and you know, you can go out to the farm to this day. And there are gates, there are cattle feeders, there are a squeeze chute, all kinds of things that dad and the three of us boys at different times may have made there in that shop. So creativity is another way to cement a family together. Number six is by work. Work, and again let me add the word together. It's something we do together. I have memories of growing up. It involved a lot of work.

Some of it was work that I couldn't help to get away from and some of it was work that was just most enjoyable. But there were times this season of the year I saw somebody out there with a leaf blower under a pecan tree on the way over and he's blowing the leaves out of the way so he can go gather his pecans.

And on our farm over along the Cimarron River we had a lot of native pecans and the family would go over there and pick up pecans on Sundays. And it had good memories, build a fire, get warmed up, cook hot dogs and whatever. But work together. Ecclesiastes 9. Ecclesiastes 9 and we'll read verse 10. Ecclesiastes 9 verse 10 and here we read, Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might. For there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going.

But whatever you find to do, do it with your own. Do it with your might. And what better place than within the realm of a family for a child to grow up and learn how to work and to learn how to work together with others and how to, you know, save some money that comes in.

Again, some of that sorrier work that I have memories of from the farm. One thing I hated with a passion was hoeing. And I still remember the day when dad came in and he had purchased three brand new garden hoes. Well, he had three sons. Guess who was going to be operating those? Most years we had two acres of garden. Now, what family of six needs two acres of garden? And over an acre of it had cantaloupes and melons. And, you know, I don't ever remember getting into trouble when I was out there working hard, though. So it probably was a master plan of my father's to keep us busy and keep us tired.

Young men ought to be kept tired, you know. But when it came the time for the harvest, we might go out there and load up 200 cantaloupes and go over to Guthrie to Safeway store where dad had already had it worked out. And we deliver 200 cantaloupes. Of course, at the time, they might give us 10 or 12 cents each. Things have changed a little, haven't they? And, of course, then they'd charge twice that. But whatever money would come in, he'd then cut it three ways and he'd give it to us.

And anyhow, we learned to work. But then, when it came time for school, we needed clothes. He knew we had some money in our pocket. And we went and bought our own clothing. And, you know, I appreciate that to this day. I mean, that's money if you teach a child that. That's money. That's character. That's money in the bank for life, for eternity. So work together. Number seven is education. Learn something together. Peek the intellect of a child. Let them see you involved in learning things.

Of course, you used to tell people, you know, go to the library once in a while, let your kids see you opening a book. And for most of us anymore, for a growing number of us, our library is right there on the internet. We can research all kinds of things. And I've got my little net book that I take with me.

And I've got Kindle for PC on there. And I've got some book that's 885 pages long. I don't know why I got a book that long, but I'm through about 750 pages of it now. But I don't like reading it on a screen. I want the hard copy. Learning something together. And there are always things about history and just the people that came through this area before us.

Wherever we've lived, those years we were in Lubbock, we were signed out to Tucson for the feast. And one time, on the way, I forget, way there or the way back, we would come through the area of the Chiricahua National Monument. That's where Geronimo and the Apaches hit out back on those rocks from the U.S. Army for the longest time before they finally surrendered.

But we went back and learned a little bit about that. And when we lived in Lubbock, there was the the Panhandle Plains Museum. They had all kinds of old windmills and some of the old samples of old early houses that they had moved there. And of course, we did the same. The Smoky Mountains went there and see some of the cabins that they've moved in. So there's always something to learn. And let children see you learning. And then let them learn with you. Yeah, it's been years ago now. I watched a 2020 show. One of the main sections was about a man from Ireland. His name was Christopher Nolan.

When Christopher was a child, he was diagnosed with cerebral palsy.

He had other complications. It left him as a paraplegic, and he was mute. Couldn't speak. However, when Christopher was 11, he wrote his first poem. When Christopher was 22, he had published two books of his poetry. He then became a playwright. His family was commended for their work, their faith, their patience, for working with him with all of his disabilities. And in that show, that 2020 portion, his mother made the statement, we always taught him that everything was within his grasp. Everything was within his grasp. And here's a son who's paraplegic, and he couldn't speak. But you can do anything. It's kind of like going over here to Sheffield, Tuscumbia, the area there where Helen Keller grew up, and where Annie Sullivan came out, and Gary Beam has given a sermon where he's built it around that. Beautiful, wonderful story. But she finally had someone who believed in her, and Helen Keller prospered.

But we too need to work with our children, work with their intellect, help them to learn, help them make plans, help them to accomplish. Children tend to rise to the level we expect of them. We need to teach them, like Christopher Nolan's mother said, teach them that everything is within their grasp. All right, submitting the family number eight has to do with crisis.

You want to bind the family together, have a crisis, better yet, have several.

Well, it's not like you plan for these things. They come on us anyhow. I mean, look at the story there of Job. Things were going well for Job until Satan the devil came. He was appearing before God, and he was taking Job's name. Well, Revelation calls him the accuser of the brethren.

And perhaps we need to remember that. How many times the Satan the devil will take our name before our Heavenly Father to accuse us and to seek a way to trip us up even more so.

Let's go to 2 Samuel 12. This is still in the section here telling largely the story of David. And King David, he certainly made his mistakes, and he paid for them. He paid a horrible price. Just one mistake after another.

Let me look here at 2 Samuel 12. Let's just go to verse 14. This is when the sin of Mashaba and the murder of Uriah had all taken place. And verse 14, as Nathan has been sent back to David, However, because by this deed you have given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme, the child also who is born to you shall surely die.

And Nathan departed. Well, the rest of this story goes on. You know, the seven days where David just laid himself out there. And then finally, he kind of perceived, by the way the servants were acting, the child was gone. He just asked them. He got up and got some food and went on with life.

Verse 24, David comforted Mashaba, his wife, and went into her and lay with her. And she bore a son, and he called his name Solomon, and the Lord loved him. But you know, you follow David's life. This was a horrible story, a horrible event of his life. Earlier, he'd had King Saul chasing him. He had to leave and go live over at the Philistines at one point.

He had to feign that he was crazy at one point, so they wouldn't kill him.

He lived in caves. Remember how Saul came to take care of the necessary business there in a cave? And David and his men were there, and his men were saying, you know, God delivered him into your hand, but David said, I'm not going to lift my hand against God's anointed. But he was being chased far and wide. Saul threw a javelin at him once. Later, he had sons trying to take the kingdom from him. Absalom, that story. So David had so many crises, but through the process, God was forming and fashioning him into a tool, as we read prophetically, he'll be the king over all of Israel in the Millennium. Well, we don't have to plan for crises because they're going to come.

And as they work their way through, we're going to see things we couldn't see otherwise. Trials promote character in us. Wow, I won't tell stories, but the things I could tell, the things you could tell. I used to think if we just get our kids through high school, they'll go on and all of our worries will be over. And then, what did I learn? I learned it only gets harder because as they get bigger, the mistakes are bigger. And Denise and I would console each other that, well, okay, he or she has chosen this, but they did not learn that in our house. But when they go out there and the world roughs them up, we always have to be there for them because family and home, that's a safe haven. That's the anchor we have in life. And if they lose that, then wow. But there are times when we lose a job, or we've had a job and the job goes so long and it ends.

You know, there are times that things happen. There are times of sickness.

There are times of death. I mean, these are crises that come along. There are times of having antagonistic family members or co-workers or people in the neighborhood. And we all go back home. We want to find within the family a safe haven from the world.

Through our years with United Youth Camps, we've used this term, the zone. And the zone means this little environment camp, a one-week rest that we have from the world. And we go to the camp and the kids are asked to leave your radios.

I saw the evolve for the years. Your Walkman, your MP3 player. Leave your cell phones at home or leave them with your parents when you come to camp. We're going to take a break from all that. We're not going to have a television. We're not going to have the radio, the music blaring, the whole time. We're going to be in a dorm and that's your family. And the camp is your family. And we're going to bond together. I was reading a history of the Druids over in England years ago. I thought it was interesting. One thing that really struck me was the Druids. And certainly, they didn't have the truth. You know, a lot wrong with those people and the way they saw things. But they went to battle and out front they had this flag with a banner on it and the words were written the truth against the world. The truth against the world. And I like that saying, but if we apply it to cementing a family together, you know, our banner in life ought to say the family against the world. And let our family be a safe heathen, a safe place where our children want to come back because they know regardless of what's happened and regardless sometimes of what they may have done wrong. They're still going to be loved and accepted and nourished and we're going to be there for them. But Satan the devil will try the door to our family and he will never give up. Denise and I look back at times and we go back, you know, 20 years ago, you know, things were going on in the church then and there were things where I think Satan was trying the door to our marriage and he found it was closed. But he tried that door many times and then it is as if he then turned and he tried the door of the family by touching one of our children. You grow together through facing those things as a family unit. Number nine is commitments. Commitments. Make commitments. Have commitments to values, ideas, to principles that are eternal. Yeah, that's the thing I love about God's Word. It's written in a way that nothing else is written. When Jesus began his ministry, there were those who marveled saying, you know, he's a man who teaches with authority, not like the scribes. The Word of God is a word of absolutes. There are things that are absolutely right every time and absolutely wrong every time. You and I live in a day and age where we have this, we're moving towards situational ethics and how, you know, kind of a glorification of the human mind. We determine what is right and wrong in different situations, but that's not true. The Word of God is a standard. It is the guide. And there are lifestyle choices. I mean, there are people out here making lifestyle choices. They may call it same-sex whatever, but it's not a marriage. It's not a marriage. There are commitments to eternal values. Let's go to Daniel chapter 3.

Daniel 3. Here we have, I'm going to break in on the story here of Daniel's friends, in this case, and they were about to be thrown into the fiery furnace. But they were men of character, just like we could have turned to chapter 1, where Daniel and these friends refused to eat of the king's diet. And they were fed vegetables, and they were fairer and fatter of flesh than all the rest. Well, here we have a life and death situation. But here are Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. Why do we remember the Babylonian names? What were their Hebrew names? Hananiah. See, I don't remember. Azariah and Mishael. Something like that. I'd have to check the story. They had commitments to things that they would not compromise, even if it costs them their lives. It's interesting the way it's worded here. Verse 16. Daniel 3 verse 16. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered and said to the king, O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. Again, you know this story. The image. Everyone was to bow down. They wouldn't bow down. Verse 17. If that is the case, our God, whom we serve, is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us from your hand, O God. But they're not through yet. But they're saying, we have a God who has no limits. He can deliver us. Verse 18. But if not, so even if He decides, if our God decides not to intervene, let it be known to all you, or let it be known to you, O King, that we do not serve your gods, nor will we worship the gold image which you have set up. And you know the rest of the story. He was so filled with fury. He had them turn that fire up even more, so much so that the people there at the entrance were burned up.

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were thrown in, and the King looked, and He says, you know, there's four people in there. And the one, kind of like the form of the Son of God. At the end of verse 25. But you see, these young men had values that they would not compromise. And God help us to teach that character to our children. There are things that are right. There are things that are always right. And there are things that are wrong, and they're always wrong. Acts chapter 4, another example. Acts chapter 4, we see a story here of some of the early apostles. And remember when Christ was taken, the trial, when He was then crucified, it does tell us that all of the disciples forsook Him and fled. Acts chapter 4. Let's pick it up in verse 18.

Because here we have a story. We're mainly focusing on Peter, but it involves Peter and John.

And it's a matter that these are not the same men. Well, as you know, chapter 2 told of the coming of the Spirit of God. And the Spirit of God is the Spirit of power. And it strengthened the backbone of these men. But again, we're breaking in on the story. These two men, Peter and John, are arrested after God threw them healing the man in chapter 3. Verse 18, So they called them and commanded them not to speak at all nor teach in the name of Jesus. But Peter and John answered and said to them, Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you more than to God, you judge. And you read that and you think, who is this? What did he do with the Peter that we read of back in the Gospels? He was a different man. He had a backbone that the Spirit of God brought. He had commitments to values he would not compromise with, even if it cost him his life. Verse 20, For we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard. Verse 21, So when they had threatened them, they let them go, finding no way of punishing them because of the people, since they all glorified God for what had been done. Well, they went right back and they preached Jesus Christ and Him resurrected. We should have family codes and standards by which we live. I don't know how many times I heard in growing up as I was corrected for something I did or said. And one of my parents would say, Yes, but a Domsen doesn't do that. Fourteen was a bad year. I got in trouble at school and I was given the option along with three other guys of, Stay here and you clean the floor after school. We had been scuffling on the way to lunch. Little horseplay. Well, a lot of horseplay. Okay, I'll be honest here. The principal said, You can have three licks right here, right now for me, or you can stay and clean that floor. You left those skid marks all over. And so we all said, We'll stay and work. And the principal and the janitor were having fun pointing out, Oh, you fellas, you missed this skid mark here. Oh, we'll clean this one a little better here. And somewhere along the line, there was another presence there. And it was like there was a big cloud coming over my life because my father was there. He had heard about it. People talked. Probably two older brothers and little sister talked. So dad came out. He was not happy, I could tell. When the job was done, I thought he's gonna let me walk home two miles. But we rode home. But on the way home, I was told a Dobson does not do that. You will not act that way anymore. 20 years later, what did I hear? I heard those same words again, only I was the one telling my child that. You know, we learned that in parent school without even knowing it. I told the child, All right, you did that. You misbehaved at school. You shouldn't have hit that cymbal. There was one that hit a cymbal in the middle of band practice when the teacher told them all to be quiet and listen. And then one of them went clang, and he got in trouble. And I was saying, a Dobson does not act like that. And I thought, wait a minute. I've heard that somewhere before. Number 10. Number 10, best for last, God's Spirit. It takes a liberal application of God's Spirit if we're going to bind a family together. If we're going to bind a marriage together, if we're going to bind a family, an extended family. If God's Spirit isn't there working with us, then we're on our own. The ultimate glue, the ultimate adhesive necessary to bind many into one is the Spirit of God.

And apart from that, we've got 6,000 years of human history we can read. And as I mentioned to you once, one textbook I had years ago in a class on international relations, but the the author basically summarized man's history by history being number one, warfare, number two, recovery from warfare, and number three, preparing for the next war. Just an ongoing, never-ending cycle for 6,000 years. And human beings do not know how to get along. And then it comes down to the individual marriage and family. And unless God is a partner of that unit, then we're going to have strife. Let's go to 1 Corinthians 13.

1 Corinthians 13. And we have here what we call, rightfully so, the love chapter. Love never fails.

And let's just pick it up in verse 4. He's talking here about different spiritual gifts. And you know, it's great. Chapter 14, he goes on talking about speaking in tongues and interpreting the different languages. And that's fine and good, but if you don't have love, you don't have anything. And God is love, and the Spirit of God is the Spirit of love.

Verse 4, love suffers long and is kind. I once read where Henry Drummond, in writing about this chapter, the greatest of these is love. He's got a little book on that. But he said, kindness is love in the little things. It's the little considerations.

Love does not envy. You know, if you take this and apply this to an individual family, too many times there's this competition, one against another, whether it's a marriage, whether it's parent, child, child, a child. There's this competition. Love doesn't envy. You know, love rejoices with the other one and grieves with the other one. Love does not parade itself. It's not puffed up.

It does not behave rudely. It's good for all of us to remember the way that we treat our family members. We should be on our best behavior, but far too often that's where we let down standards. It does not seek its own. It's not provoked, but how many times do we find that love is not there, the Spirit of God is not leading, and there's this agitation, this irritation between family members. Well, it's not of God. It thinks no evil. It does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth. Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

Verse 13, and now abide faith, hope, and love, these three, but the greatest of these is love.

And you know, through the realm of family, God provides every opportunity that we need, every last opportunity over and over to learn how to love. And hopefully our children are going to find within our homes and environment where they can do that. You know, it all starts, we're talking here about cementing a family together. Where does it start? It starts with the one we see when we look in the mirror. We start by being the right person first. We start by then acting within the family, with the marriage in the family, as the right person, the godly type person God wants us to be. And in the process, we have several or many who are bound together into one unit. 1 Timothy chapter 3. A couple more passages here, and we'll wrap this up. 1 Timothy 3, verses 4 and 5. These are criteria for elders, bishops, as it says here in this translation. And yet these are the qualifications of Christians. We're all to be meeting, striving to meet every last point that is made here. 1 Timothy 3, verse 4. One who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence. For if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God? But you know, as we grow together as family, we grow in responsibility. We cement with God's help a family marriage together, and with God's help we cement a family together. And then it expands to our church family, maybe our local congregation, our greater church family. And it certainly can apply over to where we work. Hopefully we can be a source of a good example, a source of encouragement rather than otherwise. And if we do it rightly, you know, there's a parable where kind of the end result was if you're faithful and in the little things of this life, you will be faithful in much. So if we're faithful within our own family, then God can be assured that we'll be faithful with the eternal family that he's building right now. Let's go to Ephesians 3 and we'll wrap it up over here. You know, Malachi prophesied of a time when the hearts of fathers would be turned to children, children to fathers. I think in so many words it's saying the family units will be cemented together to be able to go on into the kingdom of God. Will your family be a part of that great huge family? Well, a lot of that we don't have the answer to. We can just answer for ourself.

Live the truth, teach the truth, model the right way. But in Ephesians 3, we'll read verses 14 and 15 because this tells us that God is about the business of building His family. Verse 14, for this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named. Take this week. We've got a wonderful national holiday coming up. It's one of those few that are based on the most wonderful principles. We are so blessed in this country. We have so much to be thankful for. Even though we see our country going down around us, we have so much to thank God for. And this is one of those times that as you're able, find your family, hug them and kiss them, tell them you love them, spend some time together, talk with them, and follow some of these points. And we can all together make some progress in cementing the family together.