The Cycle of Grief

To ask the ushers to pass out the handouts, whatever we want to call them. We're going to be talking about grief recovery today. Many of us have experienced grief in our lives at one time or the other. I do want to turn to Romans 8 and verse 28. Romans 8 and verse 28. We know that all things work together for good to those who love God and for those who are the called. We heard about the sermon today. We are called to be saints and to those who are the called according to His purpose. In the subject of grief and grief recovery, the very first scripture I want to talk about is that all things work together for good. All things will work out for good according to the great purpose of God. Now, some of you may never have experienced grief in your lives and if so, that's just fantastic. That is wonderful. Others of us have experienced grief in our lives and it could be anything from the loss of a loved one, someone who may be one of our best friends or maybe spouse or family member, died and that's certainly an experience of grief, maybe a divorce, maybe a friendship that we've had for a long time that's come to maybe an abrupt end. Certainly, I think in the church we could say that we're experiencing sadness and grief, but it's just not only United Church of God that is experiencing sadness and grief. I think all of the churches of God cycle in and out of it. There's how many different, they say there's between four and five hundred various churches of God that have broken off since the days of Mr. Armstrong.

At one time or another, every one of them goes through a period of sadness and grief. So it's not just, I'm not just concerned just for United, but certainly for everyone, every part of the family of God, of the body of Jesus Christ. They have suffered sadness and grief. We have to again remember that in God's good time, all things will work together for good to those who love God and to those who are the called according to His purpose.

So how can we cope and how can we go forward if we're dealing with any kind of grief? Maybe our grief is a serious illness that we have. Maybe we have a very serious illness. Maybe we have a terminal illness. That could be grief as well. So the first thing we have here is the Kubler-Ross grief cycle. By the way, I checked the copyright laws, paragraph 107, and it says that as long as you do it in a teaching session and you're not marketing and you're not selling it, it's fine to make a copy of it.

So as long as nobody out here makes a booklet out of this and tries to sell it for 25 cents, you know, a piece of whatever, you know, it will be all right. But let's go through this particular cycle. I think you're going to have two different handouts. One's kind of a circle, and then one is the Kubler-Ross grief cycle here. And it's an extended grief cycle. It's indicating the rollercoaster ride of activity and passivity as the person wriggles and turns in their desperate efforts to avoid the change or the trauma or the grief or just whatever it might be.

And so you've got the active response, you've got the passive response, and you've got, of course, the emotional response goes from active to passive. So stability, and then all of a sudden it's down to immobilization, denial, anger, bargaining, and so on. So the initial state before the cycle is received is stable. Everything's stable. Everything's fine. Nothing's going wrong. Everything's great. Then all of a sudden we hear the bad news. Then here come the ups and the downs. And the ups and the downs, you just keep going.

And it's a cycle, okay? And I'm going to emphasize, it is a cycle. It is not when we deal with our grief or deal with loss or bad news or news of a terminal illness or just whatever. It's not a straight line to, you might say, victory. It is a cycle. We cycle in and out of these things.

And so this one is the shock stage, which is the paralysis. We don't know what to do. Bad news. What's happening? We're in shock. Now, right now, the nation of Japan is going through this. You heard of the enormous earthquake that struck yesterday, 36 hours ago. 10,000 people are missing. People have been washed away. Someone was standing on the beach on the west coast of the USA. Didn't heed the warnings. He's gone. 25-year-old young man. Didn't get out of the way. He's gone. And the tsunami rushed across the Pacific Ocean. They say it over 500 miles an hour. And now the big news that we should be really worried about, the big concern is that the nuclear reactor there in northern Japan has exploded.

Now, we don't know what exploded means, but the news reports use the term ominous. That could really be serious news because the winds do blow west. And that radiation could be coming our way. Indeed, there is radiation. There seems to be that calling it a little radiation. We hope it'll be only a little. But it could be that, in other words, the electricity shutdown of the herd and then the...

which caused the... they couldn't have the water flowing to cool it down. Enormous heat there. And they're supposed to have diesel engines to run the generators to... I mean, to pump, you know, its backup system. They failed. The diesel engines failed. So, extreme heat. And so there's extreme bad news. I'll just tell you right now, shock. They're in shock. The church, you know, went through a period of shock. And then denial. Trying to avoid the inevitable. Now, I found myself saying to myself, this can't be happening. I'm imagining this. This can't possibly be happening. And the anger stage.

Frustrated outpouring of bottle of emotion. Bargaining stage. Do people ever bargain with God? You know, when they're in trial? You bet. Oh, Lord, if you'll do this, I'll do that. Or, oh, Lord, please. And I guess Abraham bargained. He went from 50 to 40 down to 10, right? And he was begging for the life of Lot. So, people do bargain. Depression. The final realization of the inevitable. Testing. The testing stage. Do God's people get tested during our trials? Do we get tested during our crisis? Our grief cycle? Of course we do. Acceptance. Finding the way forward.

So, and again, in the bottom of this first page, a common problem with the above cycle is that people never get stuck in one phase. They may become stuck in denial, never moving on from the position of it, not accepting the future. But when it does happen, they keep denying it. Such as a person who's lost their job going into the city, only to sit on a park bench all day. I've had acquaintances that lost their job and would spend all day or all morning on video games, playing video games. Just kind of get their mind off of the inevitable. So, then it goes on and you can read the second page as well. I think that will help you. Kubler Ross was a psychiatrist, and I will say that psychiatrists, psychologists are pretty good, very, very, very good in understanding the workings of the human mind because they study so many cases. They're great at pinpointing and labeling the problem. They can pinpoint it, they can label it, they can explain it. So, they're very good at that point. The problem, though, that they do have is that they do not understand that there is a spirit in us, a spirit in man. Let's turn, for example, to 1 Corinthians 2. God is talking about two different spirits here, the spirit of God and the spirit of man. In 1 Corinthians 2.10. And the only reason I'm saying is that this is a wonderful study paper we have here, but it is lacking something. And the thing that it is lacking is that it does not understand the spirit of humanity, nor does it understand the spirit of God. 1 Corinthians 2 and verse 10. God has revealed them to us through His Spirit, for the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God. Then He says, for what man knows the things of a man, or what things, does a woman know the things of a woman, except the spirit of the man or the person which is in him?

Even so, no one knows the things of God except the spirit of God. I guess it's been maybe a long time since we've heard or given a sermon on the spirit in man, or the spirit in humanity. Job 32.8. I won't turn to that, Job 32.78. But there is a spirit in man. Job, that was recognized in the book of Job.

There is a spirit in man. Even in the book of Job, they were able to recognize that. But going to verse 12 of 1 Corinthians 2. Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the spirit who or which is from God. We might know the things that have been freely given to us by God.

In verse 13, these things we also speak not in words which man's wisdom teaches. You see, this Kubler-Ross cycle is a very good example, and it's helpful to a point, of man's wisdom. She was a lady, a psychiatrist. Good wisdom here, but which the Holy Spirit teaches comparing spiritual things with spiritual. But the natural man or the natural woman does not receive the spirit of God, the things of the spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.

So while Kubler-Ross can identify the problem and label it, and we can be very helpful to that point, and that's where it stops, then we have to go to the spirit of God and the word of God to take it to the next level, to take the solution to the grief cycle to the next level. So I just thought I would toss that out to you and show that to you that man can do good things, and they can understand good things, but without the Holy Spirit of God, we cannot take it to a deeper level.

Now again, I want to emphasize that it is a cycle of grief. It's not just a one-way street. It is a cycle. We cycle in and out. Another...let's see here...just a couple more words that you might want to add here. Numbness. You'll see that on your second page here. The cycle of grief slash ultimate victory. You've got numbness. You might add coming on down to maybe four o'clock there. Disorganization. And coming up to what might be ten o'clock. Reorganization. So you've got that to look at it too. So actually, let's go to this next page, this cycle of grief, this ultimate victory.

We have the events. That's about at one o'clock. Okay, the events. And that would be the death of a loved one, divorce, tragedy, first crisis, whatever it might be. The events. When it hits us. Pow! Then we go into shock and numbness. We're just in shock. We don't know what to do. We're in shock and numbness. And then denial.

This can't be happening. I'm imagining things. I didn't hear what I just heard. Denial. We're human, aren't we? Paralysis. What do we do now? What now, Lord? Paralysis. Depression. Disorganization. We get disoriented and depressed because of the grief event. Weeping, crying. Anybody been doing any crying lately? We're human, right? What about at six o'clock? There's bitterness. I've got a question mark there. Do we want to get bitter? We need to talk about that. What about anger? Now, again, whatever the event, the grief event is, we're going to cycle in and out of these things.

Sometimes we do get stuck in a certain point and maybe paralysis, maybe depression. And that's not good. We have to keep moving. Even though we may move backwards sometimes, we have to keep moving. There's bitterness and then there's anger. And then there's testing. God is testing us. Then after God gets done testing us, guess what? He'll test us some more. He'll test us some more. You know, we're reading...

and I might turn to that. I don't have it in my notes, but we're going through the Bible study here and looking at James. And what is the head for God's church? You know, trials are a head for God's church. Why did James tell us, inspired by God in James 4 verse 9, laments and mourn and weep? You know, lament... I mean, that's pretty much what we can expect, brethren, a lot of the time. You know, what happened in Japan, nobody can guarantee that will not happen in America.

That this is going to be an earthquake and a tsunami and a tragedy of biblical proportions. And we can't say that we're going to be immune from the suffering of those poor, dear Japanese people. You know, we've got earthquake problems here, at least potential earthquake problems here in this country. So, to be real honest with you, lament, mourn and weep. I mean, you know, this is the time Jeremiah 30 in verse 7 talks about Jacob's trouble.

There's time none like this, but he will be saved out of it. God promises Jacob will be saved out of it. We've got to remember that. Jacob will be saved out of it. Israel, modern-day Israel, modern-day England, USA. So, testing, more testing, acceptance. We finally say, all right, I guess this is what it is. It is what it is. Finally saved. Okay, I don't like it, but it is what it is. Now, of course, in the very center of all of this, which will keep us moving, is prayer, Bible study and fasting. That's what's going to keep us moving. Prayer and moving in the right direction. Now, that doesn't mean we may not back up sometimes, but without the prayer and the Bible study and fasting, we will really be stuck in a bad way.

So then, we accept it. Then there's reorganization, recovery. All right, let's get reorganized. Let's do something. Let's have, you know, let's just regroup, reorganize. Let's try to recover somehow. Let's try to figure out a way to go forward. We can't just stay here forever. We've got to do something.

And then renewal, some kind of renewal, renewal plan. But then finally, at 12 o'clock, you know, kingdom of God. That's where we're heading. In other words, we're heading out of the cycle of grief and into ultimate victory. And the ultimate victory is the kingdom of God.

Now, if any of us have ever suffered grief in our lives, if it's been severe grief, you know, we've gone through this. We've cycled through all of this.

Let's go to a book in the Bible and look at how these individuals cycle through this. I mean, it's just a perfect model. I mean, Kubler Ross hit something here that is biblical, although I don't think she ever knew it. So with God's Holy Spirit, we're going to be able to take it deeper. With God's Holy Spirit, we're going to be able to get in the Bible and just see what's being talked about here. And so this particular book is a book of Ruth.

They went through, particularly Ruth and Naomi, they went through the cycle of grief. They went through it. So let's join them in their journey, okay? As they came through, again, also remember, top Scripture of the day was, all things work to good for those who love God, those who are the called according to His purpose. So we have the book of Ruth. This was in the time, of course, when the judges ruled the land.

And we know that. And now we have a pre-event. I've got events here on this little cycle of grief sheet. I hope all of you do have this little circle. If you don't, we've got more. Okay, I'll bet there's a wicked one here. So we have a pre-event. And the pre-event was bad enough. It was a famine, verse 1. Famine in the land. Bad.

That's really bad. There's signs that this may be a tough year of the world scene for, say, wheat crops and so on. But I won't go into that right now. But the famine is a pre-event. And that's bad enough. But it was so bad that they had to leave Judah and travel to Moab, the country of Moab.

This is just a pre-event. And they were doing this, why? In search of food. Famine and Judah, let's go to Moab. Maybe we can find something to eat. And he had two sons. And then verse 3, Elimelech, Naomi's husband, dies. Now, this is the beginning of the event. This is the real grief cycle beginning. She was left in her two sons, and then they got married. And they lived there about ten years, and then they died. The event then, that the pre-event was a famine. Now, the real event, about a period of, say, ten years, she probably hadn't even recovered from the loss of her husband.

Both of her sons died. The main breadwinners are all gone. So that is the event. Now, do you think she went through Naomi? Do you think she went through shock, numbness, you know, denial? Did she go through paralysis, disorganization? You know, what am I going to do? All of the breadwinners in my family are dead. There's a famine to begin with on top of that, you know. But now all the breadwinners are gone. I wonder if she ever asked the question, Am I going crazy or what? You know, kind of a going crazy feeling.

Depression. Well, what about that? Did she go through depression? I think that's pretty obvious. Chapter 1, verses 8 and 9, though, she did keep her center. She did keep prayer, Bible study going. Because in Ruth 1 and verse 8, Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, actually Bible study, they don't have a Bible like we have a Bible, but they would go to church, they would go to synagogue, and the Bible would be read to them constantly. And, you know, history indicates that these people of old had massive portions of Scripture just memorized because they would sing it, they'd rehearse it, they'd hear it.

So they could go back to the Bible, which is up in their heads. Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, verse 8, Go return each to her mother's house. The Lord dealed kindly. She had lost. She had not lost her center. She knew God, in spite of everything else, was still a kind God. In spite of her suffering, in spite of her trial, God's kind. May God deal kindly with you as you've dealt with the dead and with me.

The Lord grant you. She knew, in spite of all her trials, that she could count on God. The Lord grant you that you may find rest, each in the house of her husband. Then she kissed them and they lifted up their voices and wept. And so she was a woman that hadn't, you know, in spite of her horrifying grief, she was obviously a woman of prayer.

She was obviously a woman of faith. And here we have, you know, she uses the word, you know, kindly and has God to grant them blessings and so on. So she hadn't become an agnostic, as some people do. She hadn't become an atheist. She knew there was God. She knew that he would deal kindly and bless, you know, her daughters-in-law.

So, you know, when all else, you know, fails, or maybe I should say before all else fails in this cycle of grief, we, brethren, have to go back to the center. We have to go back, you know, to the middle of the circle. Now my wife has been in classrooms for many, many years and she loves to teach the little kids. And, you know, whenever there's a time of potential chaos and disorganization, she brings them to the center.

You know, let's come back down to the center. Let's settle down. Let's get in your circle. Let's get on your spot. I guess all that little spot there. Find your spot. It's right there. It's marked on the floor.

Let's settle down. Let's calm down. Let's stop this food fight or whatever else is going on. You know, believe me, there's no food fights with Carol around. I can tell you that. But anyway, let's bring them to the middle. Let's bring them to the center. Let's talk about some basics. You know, when I coach basketball, why are you basketball? Chaos in the court. Well, before there's chaos in the court, you call a timeout. And you get all the players, either the huddle or sit on the chairs. You look at them. They look at you. Okay, guys, let's play defense. You know, let's get back to playing defense. Real, basic, central point.

You know, there's a chaos going out on that court. Let's get back to defense. Well, we might switch from zone to man to man, you know, whatever. But we're going to get back to the basics. You have to know what your center is. In sports, you call a timeout. Get the athletes back focused. Not on higher math or higher astronomy, but just on the very basic fundamentals that they're losing track of. That's why they're losing the game. They've lost track of their fundamentals.

So, as it is in God's world, prayer, Bible study, fasting, that's our center. And we must never waver or get away from the center. So, let's go to verses 11 and 12. Naomi is trying to get a solution together. She's trying to reorganize and recover, so she throws out something that's impossible. Because, I mean, when you're in a cycle of grief and everything is going wrong, it's too early, perhaps, for a solution. She's still in paralysis, maybe numbness, maybe disorganization. And so, she comes up with an idea that it's not going to work, because she knows it's not going to work. Because they said, well, we'll stay with you.

We'll return with you. She said, no, turn back. Why will you go with me? Verse 11. Are there still sons in my womb? That's a solution, but no, it's not a solution. That they may be your husbands? Turn back, my daughters. Go your way. I am too old to have a husband. That's another idea, but that won't work either.

If I should say I have hope, even if I should have a husband tonight and bear sons, would you wait for them until they were grown? So, she's running through these options that are not options. Would you restrain yourselves from having husbands? No, my daughters, agree with me very much. For your sake, at the hands of the Lord has gone out against me.

Is there a little bit of an attitude here? Yeah, probably so. Do we get angry when we're tested? Do maybe we even get bitter when we're tested? Of course, if we're bitter, then we really have to get to work on that. We really have to get back to the prayer, the Bible study, the fasting. She was running through a bunch of just ideas. These were just ideas. None of them would work, and she knew they wouldn't work.

She was expressing what we do express. Mitterness, depression, certainly weeping. By the way, let's hold our places here and turn, though, to Ecclesiastes 3 and verse 4. Ecclesiastes 3 and 4. He says, to everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven. That's verse 1 and then verse 4. A time to weep and a time to laugh. A time to mourn and a time to dance. So, yeah, rather than sometimes there is a time to weep. And then it's okay. It's just a part of the healing process. Weeping is a lot safer to do than to just bottle it all up inside. So, weeping certainly was a part of Naomi's experience here. Now, this word... Let's drop down to verse 20.

So, she said, Do not call me Naomi, which your margin says means pleasant, but call me Marah, because that word means in Hebrew bitter. For the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. Now, it's always good to dig out the meanings of these words. So, I looked into the root word for bitterness in Hebrew. And this particular word, it can mean two different things. It can mean... and you might want to reference... I won't turn to Exodus 1 in verse 14, but it says, Pharaoh made their lives bitter with hard bondage. That's what the translation is. But the Hebrew scholars say, it could also mean they strengthened their lives. The word bitter can mean either bitter taste or strengthening. You know, bitter taste or strengthening. So, at least that's the Hebrew word. I think the Greek has a different meaning. But in the Hebrew, it can have a bitter taste in our mouth, or it can strengthen us. Through this hardship. Many of the Israelites just got stronger. And certainly Naomi, through this terribly bitter trial, was becoming, or not becoming, but was remaining a woman of faith. She was remaining a woman of faith. So, it's just an interesting thing. We oftentimes can say, in a sense here, we can say that we go through bitter experiences. But instead of becoming bitter, we become stronger. And in the Hebrew, it's interesting. You know, bitter, that left me with a bitter taste in my mouth. You know, we kind of have something to do with our taste. That whole experience left me kind of with a bitter taste in my mouth. Well, that's better than now my heart is bitter. You know, boy, I'm just bitter.

Of course, people who are bitter don't really want to admit that, usually. Because if they admit it, that's a good thing. If they admit that they're bitter, hey, that's a good thing, because now they can work on it. They can get the work on it. So, the best way is, I looked at these words in Hebrew. It's an idea of this experience of leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. But with God's help, I'm going to become stronger.

And so, that's the proper way to deal with the human emotion of bitterness. That it's going to leave us with a bitter taste. But we're going to become not bitter people. We're going to become stronger people. And it's an interesting, as from the theological word study of the Old Testament, I thought that was just an interesting definition there. And so, although Naomi was going through a very bitter experience, and being sorely tried and sorely tested, she was going to come out the other side stronger.

Let's turn to 1 Samuel 1, 1 Samuel chapter 1, verse 10. We see the same Hebrew word used again here. This is from Hannah, who wanted to have a little boy, wanted to have a son. And in verse 10, she was in bitterness of soul, but she got right back to her center. Or maybe I should say she never left her center. And she prayed to the Lord and wept in anguish. And wept in anguish. Now, she was suffering grief, right? And some of the key factors here in the grief recovery cycle, well, bitterness, yeah.

But she prayed to the Lord and she wept in anguish. And so, this bitterness was actually a bitter taste because she wasn't able to conceive. But then again, on the other hand, she took it to God in prayer. And so, like we've got in this cycle of grief here, we may be struggling with this bitterness, anger, whatever it is, but we don't leave our center, do we? We stay praying and studying and fasting. So, bitterness, obviously, the attitude or the character attribute of bitterness, must not reside in the heart of Christians.

And we certainly see that in the New Testament, Hebrews 12, because this is a different connotation here, Hebrews 12. I mean, we may go through a bitter experience, just, oh, what a sour taste that has put my mouth, my stomach feels sick.

I just feel just, oh, this is terrible. But we don't become bitter people. We don't become bitter people. In Hebrews 12 and verse 15, and God warns us of this here, looking diligently, lest anyone, Hebrews 12 and verse 15, lest anyone should fall short of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up may cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.

We have to watch out for that root of bitterness. It's interesting that God uses the word root. We'll get to that in a moment. But in this case, bitterness means anger, animosity, harshness, bitterness. That's just what it means. Bitterness, anger, animosity, harshness. But it is the setting of the mind. It is the setting of the heart to be this way. And God strongly warns us, yeah, the experience might be a bitter or might be a bitter lesson or whatever, but we must not become bitter people.

A root is an interesting word because roots are invisible. I mean, they're below the surface. I mean, they're there, but they're below the surface. All of a sudden, bang, up comes this thistle or this weed or whatever it is. So the root can be hidden. We might think we're nice people, nice person, whatever. But there is an underlying root. There is an invisible to the obvious human eye. All of a sudden, wham! It just explodes. It just comes up causing trouble by this many. I wish it said here, few, but it doesn't say few. I didn't write the Bible. God wrote the Bible. God says, many become defiled.

That's pretty scary. That is pretty scary. What about anger? Because that's one of my little cycle things here. What about the subject of anger? There is a righteous anger. Let's turn to Ephesians 4. Ephesians 4 and verse 26. Be angry and do not sin. And do not let the sun go down on your wrath. Again, I think he's telling us here, don't allow yourself to become bitter.

Don't allow yourself to become bitter. Don't let it happen to you. Don't become bitter. But to be angry and not to sin, hopefully... There is such a thing as a righteous anger.

You're angry for a right cause, but you're not going to let the sun... You're not going to let it harbor and then produce a root and then the root of bitterness.

James 1 verse 19. Again, going back to James 1 and verse 19 as far as anger is concerned. James 1 verse 19. Therefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath. Slow to anger. Count to ten first, as they say. And one more scripture on anger here, Matthew 5, 22, Matthew 5 and verse 22. So we really have to do kind of a check, don't we? Am I angry for a right reason or am I getting bitter? And you've got to pray about it with God's Holy Spirit, because remember I read in 1 Corinthians 2 that the God's Spirit will show you these things that are invisible to the human eye, to the human mind. God's Spirit will, you know, along you stay close to God. Well, okay, wait a minute. You're not getting, you know, you're not getting angry anymore. You're now bitter. And now you've got to do something about it. But Matthew 5, 22, but I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. So sometimes we do, you know, frustrate or, you know, can be frustrated, can be upset, you know, can maybe have a righteous anger, but it's got to be controlled. It's got to be controlled. And we don't want to take our anger out on anybody. That's wrong. We take that anger that we may have to our knees and we pray about it and we pray about it and we pray about it. So be very cautious if you find yourself angry because anger, bitterness, they can just, you know, be in and out of the same thing here. You got to be careful. You have to be very, very, very careful of that. It is a part. We are human. You know, it is. We're human. And so we're going to go through this and nobody is going to be able to escape the cycle of grief. And you may get stuck in it, which is not a good thing. We can't be stuck. We've got to be moving, you know, clockwise, so to speak, into the kingdom of God. We've got to be moving in that direction. Ruth, Chapter 2, getting back to our model study here.

Ruth, Chapter 2. And now we're moving forward here. And so they do, you know, they're both widows now. And she has lost her sons and both Ruth and Naomi. Now they're widows. But they, in verse, you know, Chapter 1, verse 22 here, they returned to their, you know, they left Moab and they returned to Bethlehem at the beginning of the barley harvest. So, okay, well, let's try that. Let's move. Let's do something. Let's move, hopefully, forward, you know? So, this is the beginning of a solution. This is the beginning of, you know, acceptance, reorganization, recovery, you know, let's try something.

Let's go back to Bethlehem. And then Ruth, kind of a problem solver here, Chapter 2, verse 2. The Moabites said to Naomi, Please let me go to the field and glean heads of grain after him, in whose side I may find favor. And she said to her, Good idea! Alright, let's, you know, we've accepted our plight. We're trying to move on. Let's get some food. You know, that's why it's always good, you know, in local churches in crisis to have a potluck meal. That's always a good thing. You know, food.

So, they're here, and they're going to glean heads of grain, and, you know, they're coming up with a solution. They're coming up with some kind of, you know, let's get reorganized. Let's do something. Okay, Chapter 3, in verse 1, God is leading Naomi to understand that Boaz would like to marry Ruth. And so Naomi, her mother-in-law, said to her, My daughter, shall I not seek security for you, that it may be well with you? In other words, maybe God wants you to marry Boaz, and Boaz wants to marry you.

And so she's in again, though, she's reorganizing. You know, Ruth was young enough to be married and have children. And so, all right, let's seek security, or, you know, maybe a husband. Let's see what's going to go here. Clearly, they're in the reorganization and recovery mode. And then finally, at least for Ruth's concern, Chapter 4, in verse 17, it did work out. They did get married in Ruth 4, 17.

And the neighbor woman gave him a name, saying, This is a son born to Naomi. Okay, we have renewal. Renewal here. Oh, a child is born. A son is born to Naomi. And they called his name Obed. He is the father of Jesse, the father of David. David was the ancestor of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is the key person in God's kingdom. So, Ruth didn't know it or not, and Naomi didn't know it or not, but they went right through the cycle of grief.

They went right through it. The event shocked numbness, denial, all the way around. Bitterness made her stronger. I'm sure she was angry. Testing, more testing. Acceptance, reorganization, renewal, a little baby is born. Christ Jesus is on the way. He came right from this line, and there you have it. The very kingdom of God. I won't take a lot of time with some other... I have an example with Job here, but I don't want to go into that except for maybe just one verse and a concept.

That would be Job 23, because it's a little different with Job when you study his life, because he couldn't come up with a solution. Ruth said, well, let's try something. Let's move back to Bethlehem. Let's go to the barley field. Let's get some food. Poor old Job. He had no solutions. He couldn't come up with any idea. Anything he tried blew up in his face. He also went through the cycle of grief, except he couldn't come up with any ideas, except this one here.

He, Job 23, verse 10, Job speaking about God, he knows the way that I take. When he has tested me, I shall come forth as gold. My foot has held fast to his steps. I have kept his way, and I have not turned aside. I have not departed from the commandment of his lips. I have treasured the words of his mouth, in the Bible, in other words, more than my necessary food.

The only solution that Job had was prayer, Bible study, and fasting. Staying close to God. He said to himself, this trial makes no sense. I've had everything wiped away from me, everything gone. Now I'm sick. He took a piece of broken pottery to scrape off the sores on his arms and legs, and so on.

He said, I don't have any idea. I have no solution. None. Zero. But God knows that when he is through testing me, I shall come forth with righteous, godly character. That's what gold means. Righteous, godly character. So in this particular time, it might have been worse. He had no grain fields to go to. As Ruth did, all he could do was wait and wait and wait on God. And wait on God he did. Wait on God he did. Let's conclude by going to three scriptures, and we'll call it a day. Hebrews 12. Three scriptures here in concluding. Again, cycle of grief. We all go through it.

We're only humans. We're going to go through it time and time again, maybe, in our life. We have to stay on center. The center being prayer, Bible studying, fasting. Hebrews 12 verses 1 and 2. Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us. Looking unto Jesus, looking to him, the author, the finisher of our faith, right on dead center. Let's look to Jesus. Let's look to God the Father, the kingdom of God, who for the joy that was set before him, endured the cross, despising the shame or disregarding the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

That was central to Paul. This is what we've got to do. We've got to look unto Jesus Christ and keep that in the center. Keep him right there next to God. Of course, he's in the center of everything. That's where God is. And right off to his right hand is Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians chapter 10 and verse 13. 1 Corinthians 10 and verse 13. No temptation. 1 Corinthians 10 verse 13. No temptation, no trial, no grief cycle.

No grief cycle has overtaken you, except such as is common to man. What's happening to us has happened to humanity over the years. But God is faithful. Even in her darkest moments, Naomi knew from the core of her being, God is faithful. She knew that from the core of her being. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able.

We all don't go through the same trials because God knows that, well, this person can handle that trial, and she can handle that trial. But if I switch trials on, they'll both go under. So God says, oh no, I can't do that. So some people are tried in ways that come through. They're just amazed at the rest of us. Absolutely amazed at the rest of us. God is faithful. He will not allow us to be tempted beyond what you are able. But with the temptation, we'll also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

He knows exactly what trial will strengthen us, and exactly what trial will break us. That would be an unfair trial. God says, I'm going to give you...you know, you will never be tempted beyond what you are able. And, you know, you're always going to get, if you need to, you're always going to have a way of escape.

You're always going to be able to bear it. So you are able, way of escape, bear it. Three different ways of saying God is not going to put a trial upon us that we cannot take, that we cannot endure. And now the final scripture, Revelation 21, the ultimate conclusion to the grief cycle, of course, is God's kingdom. That is the ultimate solution of the grief cycle. And here we have it, right here, a picture of God's kingdom. Revelation 21, verse 4, and down through verse 7.

Ultimate, beautiful promise that if we stay with the plan, if we stay with the center, prayer, study, fasting, then God will be the one that will bring us through, bring us all the way through, right to the very kingdom of God.