The Definition of Love

It's interesting, we didn't plan this out, that song, but I think God has a way of working things out, because I've got here my notes. Is there a more important subject for Christians to discuss and think about than love? Now, love, as we're going to discuss later, is interpreted in the New Testament from the Greek word agape, which in the Old King James, in 1 Corinthians 13, is translated as charity. And I wonder, I think Dwight Armstrong probably wanted to leave that there, because the rhythm worked out having that three-syllable word, count how many syllables, worked out better for the song he could have translated as love. Faith, hope, and charity, but the most important is charity, or love. Now, we could easily conclude that it's not just a matter for Christians, though. Everyone seems to be interested in love. And just, you know, as I was starting to think on this topic, and I might mention this later, this sort of, the sermon grew out of work on an article for the next issue of vertical thought. And by the time it comes out in print, all have totally forgot that I even wrote one. That's the way it often works. There's this lead time. But as I was researching, putting thoughts together, I said, well, I've got tons of stuff that didn't fit in the article, but might be good for a sermon.

But it crossed my mind that you could conclude if you listen to the radio much, as I, well, I listen to talk radio more now than anything else, and ESPN, when I can get it in. But I grew up listening to AM and eventually FM. And there's so much about love on the radio, you might think you could learn all you ever need to know. Like, with a love like that, you know you should be glad. She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah. When a man loves a woman. Now, I can't remember how it goes after that. Can't keep his mind on anything else. Yeah, one song tells us that love is a battlefield. Another tells us love hurts. But that's okay, because then we can call Dr. Love.

Or, as I was discussing, she was surprised I knew most of the words of this song. And the word goes, oh, I wonder, wonder, who, doo-doo-doo, who, who wrote the book of love. And I actually knew the next few verses. I think, well, a few, I knew one. And of course, all you need is love.

Now, I'm falling back on some of what I remember. How many more songs? And actually, as I started putting my notes down, every now and then, oh, that's a line from a song. We use them all the time. And let's leave behind the great philosophical teachings of AM or FM radio.

One of my professors in Ambassador College had an enduring phrase he liked to say. He said, Love is the most powerful force in the universe. Love is the most powerful force in the universe. Now, that engendered a joke among us who are a little younger and sophomoric, even though we were... The term is sophomoric, but I was freshman when we came up with this. But before I tell you about that, though, I do want to say that he was absolutely correct. The Bible tells us that God is love. And God is the most powerful being in the universe. And he does everything he does in love. So, yes, love is the most powerful force in the universe. However, I'll say, when we were students at Ambassador College, and some of the students got to work... Had the jobs with the security. So, our instant response to try to be humorous was to say, Yes, and the second most powerful force is the Ambassador College security force.

Which was funnier then, because just before we came up with that, one of the students had driven the security car into a tree. And whatever great power they had didn't prevent that. But let's move beyond the pop culture references and my juvenile humor, And realize that there is a lot to the subject of love. And we do need to treat it seriously as Christians. Although it's not wrong to have a chuckle now and then while we look at it.

But we want to learn about properly expressing love in our lives. And there's no way I could cover everything there is to say about this sermon today. But, now we do at least want to get a start. And I'll mention this. I don't know if very many... I know some of you go on the internet and listen to sermons. A year or two ago, I think Gary Petty gave a series of sermons called Agape Love. And I started listening to it and never finished the series, but they're very good. So, you can spend hours discussing love. This would be a little bit of an overview. And I want to focus on one particular aspect. And that is the idea of moving beyond thinking of love as a feeling. And think about putting love into action. Love in action.

Now, before I talk that much about the action, though, realizing if I'm going to build a whole sermon around one word, I ought to make sure to discuss the meaning and be clear on that.

So, as I often like to do, I want to talk about what is the meaning of love, or love's many meanings. I pulled out my Universal Webster's Unabridged Dictionary that weighs about 30 or 40 pounds. I don't pull it out that often, but I found 24 different entries under the word love. Now, half of those are verbs, because love can be a noun or a verb. And so, for every definition of a noun, there's the verb form of having that love or feeling. But seeing all that page made me think of another song, that love is a many-splendored thing. Or, how does this... never mind, don't tell me how the tune goes. Let me relate some of the definitions. The number one... actually, I included the number. Number one was that love is a profound or tender or passionate affection for a person of the opposite sex. That certainly matches a lot of the song lyrics. But the second definition wasn't specific to the relationship between the sexes. Number two was that love is a feeling of warm, personal attachment. Going the other direction, the third definition was that love is a sexual passion or desire. And just appropriate, as appropriate... remember, this one word has a lot of different meanings. The one that we might think of... well, an appropriate one is number eight... affectionate concern for the well-being of others. And you don't have to note all of these, but you can if you like. It's easier than getting out of a 30-pound dictionary. Webster's also included the definition that we might think of from our Bibles. Number 11 on the list was the benevolent affection of God for His creation. The benevolent affection of God for His creation. Now, there are probably very few of you who have not heard a sermon at or a sermon or read an article discussing the different Greek words that are translated into love in the New Testament. So I want to talk about those, but it occurred to me... I've never heard anybody talk about the Hebrew word for love. So I pulled out my lexicon and concordance, and I found that the Hebrew word almost always used as aheb. And it would be translatorated as a-h-e-b. And I'm not sure if I'm pronouncing it properly, but aheb means to have affection for another person, sexually or otherwise. Its meaning can include to like someone as a friend. So what I concluded was the Hebrew word aheb means love and has a lot of different meanings and can be used in different ways the same way the English can. So Hebrew didn't seem to be as specific, and that's why I guess we don't hear a lot of sermonettes discussing aheb.

But we probably have heard some on the Greek words. So let's review those just briefly. Three different Greek words are commonly translated into the English word love. One, eros. Eros equates to the definitions that are specific to the attachment between a man and a woman, including sexual passion. Interestingly, that word doesn't appear in our Bible. Now, any place we see love in the New Testament, it's not translated from eros. Now, we're also familiar probably with the word Philadelphia. Philadelphia is commonly translated as brotherly love, which fits with the nickname of the city of Philadelphia. It's called the city of brotherly love. Something surprised me when I was going through my concordance. That word does not appear very often in the New Testament. It does on occasion, but I had expected, well, I'll see a lot of Philadelphia and some agape here or there. But, Philadelphia appears only occasionally. The Greek word that's used the most often for love is agape, or its verb form agapeo. We commonly in the church say that it means godly love, and it does. That is, it represents the way God himself feels and expresses love.

I've heard that many times, and I believe it's true. So I was surprised when I checked the lexicon's definition from a scholarly standpoint. It did include that definition, but the scholars also seemed to think that agape could be used for many more mundane usages, such as love or affection for just another person. A lot of our common interpretations of love, they would allow the use of the word agape.

And that made me say, have we been wrong? Have we made too big of a deal out of the word agape?

Well, I don't think so. My thought is, no, we haven't, because we base our interpretation not just on a scholarly definition, but on looking in the Bible to see how agape love is talked about, how it's expressed, and how it's used. So I do want to do that. Let's examine the Bible, and we'll look especially in the New Testament to see what it tells us about how love should occur in various relationships. We'll see that love in action, that it's much more than a feeling. That's another song, isn't it? I don't know, it depends on which generation you're in. Some older people might be looking at me, but I've got the vinyl in a cabinet downstairs waiting for me to get a phonograph player.

Anyways.

Now, there seems to be some agreement with the lexicon's definition for agape, and the definition I got for Webster's where it says, Benevolent love or benevolent affection of God for his creation. But can we get more specific than benevolent affection? Well, I think we can, if we think especially. God is all-powerful. So he can show his love any way he wants. He can do anything. How does God express his love? What does God do to show us he loves us? Well, one answer to that can be found in what I still say is probably the most popular or most quoted scripture in the Bible in John 3.16. I'll forgive you if you don't turn there, because many of you have heard it so many times you haven't memorized. Or, if you're like me, you expect to see it in the end zone tomorrow if you get to watch some football.

John 3.16 says, For God so loved the world, Agapeo the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life. See, that describes an action. God didn't just say, yeah, I really love you. He made the ultimate sacrifice. Gave his only Son out of love for the rest of us.

But, let's look at a parallel scripture. Well, we don't see as often, but all you have to do is put a one or an eye in front of John 3.16 and go to 1 John 3.16. I don't know if it's just coincidence or if God planned it this way, but 1 John 3.16 tells us almost the same thing, but it shows the two personages in the God family.

And that they have the same love and express it in the same way. 1 John 3.16, by this we know love, agape, because he laid down his life for us. That's the one, Jesus Christ, the one who in the Old Testament was the Word. He laid down his life to us, and he says we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.

This shows clearly the Father expressed his love by giving Jesus Christ as a sacrifice, but Jesus Christ also gave himself. He was a willing sacrifice. He wanted to serve that role because he loves us. He loved his creation, and he loves us now. Now, you could say God doesn't just say, I love you. He puts it into action. That made me question, is there any place where he does say it? I found one place, I thought he says it very well in Jeremiah 31 verse 3. I'm going to turn there. You can join me, or I'll just read it to you. But Jeremiah 31 and verse 3 expressed, I think, in a... Well, there's only so many ways... I was going to say a particularly poetic way.

Jeremiah is expressing this. He says, He goes on from there, but I thought, now that sounds like the sentiment from a love song we might hear on the radio. Matter of fact, there was one. Is this the one that goes, My endless love? Well, God, a man might like to say things like that. A boy will tell a girl, I'll always love you. But of course, we often have trouble following through on that.

But God lives forever. And He says, I change not. When God says, I'll love you with an everlasting love, He means it. He can do it. And He follows through. But as we were saying, God doesn't just say it, although He does say it, He backs it up. He made the supreme sacrifice out of love. There's nothing greater a person could do, as we'll see if we go back to the book of John again. We're going to go back and forth a bit, but exercise our fingers. Remember, we got them so practiced during the feast that now, after a little break, we can put that exercise to good use.

John 15 and verse 13. Sorry, I got out of practice telling you what scriptures to turn to. John 15 and verse 13. How great was that sacrifice? How great is the expression of God's love? He says, and this is Jesus Christ speaking to His disciples that last night they had together, and He says, greater love has no one than this than to lay down one's life for his friends. It's the greatest expression of love. But we can't just stop with this nice sentiment, and it's more than just a nice sentiment, but many Protestant churches who don't have the full understanding of God's way stop there and say, well, Jesus Christ laid down His life, so there's nothing else we have to do.

But we want to consider that in a way similar to the way we sometimes have to and do express our love to our children, not only by giving them gifts, but sometimes expressing our love in the way that some call tough love. God does that as well. Let's go back to the book of Proverbs, chapter 3, and read verse 11 and 12.

God does give us good gifts. He gave His life for us. Is that all that He ever does? Well, we'll see. No, it's not. Proverbs 3 and verse 11. I said we'd be mostly in the New Testament, but some of these things come out very well in the Old Testament. Proverbs 3, verse 11 says, My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord. Chasening could be referred to as punishment. Don't despise the chastening of the Lord, nor detest His correction, for whom the Lord loves, He corrects.

Just as a father, the Son, in whom He delights. I like the fact that Solomon made this parallel with a parent correcting his child to God correcting us, because in some ways it's easier for us to realize that when we punish a child, we still love the child. And I said this morning, as Connor is right in the midst of what we call the terrible twos, it seems like we're getting to do a lot more correcting than I am.

I don't enjoy it at all. But you have to do it, for His own good. And that's the way God does for us. We correct our children to teach them lessons, because we want them to grow up to be good people. Think, what was it? The other day, I can't remember what it was we were trying to get Connor to do or stop doing.

I was in the first church, and he just has no self-discipline. He's two years old, of course he doesn't have self-discipline. But you have to impose discipline from outside, so he develops it. But God looks at us, probably in the same way. Matter of fact, I thought, how many times has God looked at me and said, how many times have I told you this?

Far more than I'll ever do to Connor, I'm sure. But that should help us understand, when we're suffering, and thinking, why is God letting me go through this? Why am I suffering in this way? Well, He's doing it because He loves us. He wants us to grow up to be better people. The same way we want our children to learn and develop self-discipline and have good things. If God only ever gave us blessings, and if He just let us do whatever we wanted to do, well, that might seem good at the time, but it wouldn't qualify us to be in His kingdom.

Because there's a standard that has to be met. We have to develop godly character. We need to become like God. So God wouldn't be loving us very much if He just let us do whatever we wanted and not develop character and then not be in His family. God loves us enough, and He loves mankind enough, to do the tough things. And I want to back up and emphasize to do the tough things.

That's that action verb. Whatever it is that needs done. But real love is action. That's not a definition I found in Webster's, but I'll refer to another song that I never have heard on the radio. But this goes back to the same artist I mentioned a few sermons ago. It seems like a long time ago now because it was before the feast. I talked about what they call a contemporary Christian artist named Don Francisco.

Remember when I was talking about Jehoshaphat? Don Francisco liked to take stories of the Bible and play his acoustic guitar and put them to music. For some reason, the words aren't coming out well today. Anyways, he had a song that he wrote called, Love is Not a Feeling. And this isn't about a story in the Bible, and I don't remember all of it, but I remember the chorus very clearly. It made an impression on me. So rather than sing it, I'll read it to you, though. The chorus says, Jesus didn't die for you because it was fun.

He hung there for love because it had to be done. And in spite of the anguish, his word was fulfilled. Love is not a feeling. It's an act of your will. And in the chorus it repeats, love is not a feeling. It's an act of your will. And I said, that song stuck with me, and it was a catchy tune that helps it stick in your memory.

But as I said, that's not in my big, fat Webster's dictionary, but I think it's a good definition. Love, we could say, love is a feeling, but it's so much more. It's an act that you do willingly.

And that was the primary thought that helped me motivate the sermon today. Feelings are nice, but when those feelings are willingly put into action, that's real love. Let's turn to 1 John 3, verse 18. 1 John 3, verse 18. We'll see that this isn't just my thought.

1 John 3, verse 18 says, My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed. Indeed and in truth. Deed means action or act. Don't just love in word, but love in action and in truth. It's clear, we don't just sit down and say, Boy, I sure love God, because love isn't just a feeling, it's the action of your will that shows our love for God.

And we do that by obeying His commandments. Let's see, it's very clear in John 3, now John 14, verse 15. Oh, actually, hold on a moment. Back up, let's go back to 2 John. No, 1 John.

If you're still in 1 John, I wanted to go to 2 John. Sorry, I skipped ahead in my notes and missed something that I did want to read. So, that was me getting confused, not you. 2 John, verse 6, there's no chapters there, it's all on one page.

2 John, verse 6 says, This is love that we walk according to His commandments. The commandment that you heard from the beginning, you should walk in it. I wanted to read that first, because it's a very simple, this is that statement. It makes a definition. What is love? This is love. Walk according to His commandments. Now, having said that, turn back another page to 1 John 5, verse 3. He just expounds it a little bit more, but it says the same thing.

1 John 5, verse 3 says, This is the love of God, and it means our love of God, not God loving us, but we show that we love God, that we keep His commandments. This is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. Those commandments aren't burdensome. It's clear, and there's where I'm saying, we don't just say, I love God, we obey His commandments.

We do what He tells us to do. We can find a similar sentiment in John. Now I want to go to the book of John 14. Book of John, chapter 14, verse 15. Coming back to that long evening that Christ spent with His disciples before the crucifixion, telling them a lot of things that He knew they wouldn't understand, but they would later. I said, we heard John expressing the sentiment. Let's hear it from, or read it from Jesus Christ Himself. John 14, verse 15. If you love Me, do what? Write me a pretty song? Write me a poem?

Keep saying I love you? No. He said, If you love Me, keep My commandments. If you love Me, do these things. Keep My commandments. We can find a parallel over in Matthew, chapter 7. Matthew 7, verse 21. I think we read this within the Kingdom of God seminars that this came out, but it's worth noting because, as I said, it's not just words, it's action. Jesus Christ said here, Not everyone who says to Me, Lord, Lord, and you could say, Not everyone who calls Me, Lord, or says I'm his boss will enter the Kingdom of Heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in Heaven.

And as I said in the seminar, we said, Well, what's God's will? And we explored the fact that God wants us to be in His family, but He wants us to be in His family as His children with His holy and righteous character. So we love God, we obey His commandments. And God is a God of action. For Him, love is not just a feeling, it's something He does. And it needs to be something we do. What we do is obey the instructions in His Word.

That includes things like we honor the Sabbath, we rest on it, we gather together and meet, we study God's Word, we pray, we occasionally fast, we're faithful in our tithes, and we give offerings because we want to honor God in our substance. We do things. And of course, there are things that we refrain from doing. As I thought about it, I thought, well, you talk so much about action, but sometimes if you stop yourself from doing something, you've done something.

Does that make sense? You do something by not doing. When you don't murder, you're still obeying, you're showing your love for God. Don't murder, don't steal, don't lie. Don't commit adultery and don't covet. All the Ten Commandments. Sometimes it takes a great deal of action to hold yourself back. So you're doing something. And that brings to mind, of course, how we treat other people does express love towards God because God is our Creator. Everyone belongs to Him. So we're expressing love towards God when we do these things for other people. But we should also show love for the people themselves. Scripture has a lot to say about that, too.

And especially within our own families. Now, as I thought about in preparing this, you could break down a lot of different relationships and people you show love to and things you show love to. But in God's way, His love permeates our life. But it's within our families that we have the most opportunity and sometimes the most challenge of taking love and putting it into action.

So I thought, I'd focus especially on within marriage. Because most of us either experience that, hope to experience it, have experienced it. And let's go to Titus 2 and read verse 4. I want to go here first, specifically not because of how common this sentiment is, but because of how common it's not in the Bible. Titus 2 and verse 4. Remember, Titus is one of the pastoral epistles. The Apostle Paul wrote to Timothy and Titus, giving them letters as young pastors saying, teach these things to the people in your congregations.

And this is how to deal with them. And he says, admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children. As I said, I wanted to read that first, not because there's such a strong need in the church or a lot of instruction in the Bible telling women to love their husbands, but really because this is about the only place I could find that. I think personally, now I could have dug up some scientific studies, and not much in the Bible, but, you know, men and women are different.

Some of you might have noticed that. And I think it comes more naturally to women to feel that love and to express it in action. The women don't need reminded as much, so it doesn't say it over and over again. It does say it, so it's so important. The Bible only has to tell you to do something once for it to mean it. And I thought of that even this morning. I was looking back to that week and a half at the feast.

I get to spend time with my in-laws. And it's interesting, I thought of my mother-in-law. She is a doer. She expresses her love. She's always doing something for my father-in-law. She fixes him meals. She's doing this or that. And it's just her normal state of being. She's not thinking, boy, I hate that I've got to do this. She would hate to not do it.

And a lot of that comes out in Sue. You know, she's like that. So it's men that need the reminding, and we get it more often. Let's go to Colossians chapter 3 and read verse 19. So they said it might come more naturally to women. Not that women are perfect and don't need any instruction, but... And this one area, they're most of the way there already, I think because of the way God wired them.

And I'm being a little sexist there. I don't mean it as an insult. Colossians 3 and 19 shows men need a lot more work and need help to do what they need to do. Here it says, husbands love your wives. And not only do love them, but don't be bitter toward them. Husbands have to be reminded that they should love their wives.

As a matter of fact, so much is repeated. If we'll go to Ephesians chapter 5. Ephesians 5 and read verse 25. I'm taking a roundabout way to get to the chapter where you thought, if you're going to talk about husbands and wives or love within a family, you have to go to Ephesians 5. That's one chapter where there's a lot of talk about the relationships within the family. So I'll start off with just this one verse.

There are some others we want to look at. But here Paul says, husbands love your wives. Interesting. He didn't say, and Paul is specific, the love here is agape. He didn't say, husbands eros your wives or husbands Philadelphia your wives. There's probably verb forms of those, but I'm doing as much Greek as I possibly can. So it's not okay for men to say, yeah, I really like my wife. Or to say, I have passion for my wife. The love we're supposed to have is the action.

And I didn't finish the verse. Love your wives as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. That's the kind of love men need to have for their wives. The kind that is expressed in saying, greater love has no one than this, than to lay down his life. That's the type of love and action that Christ had for the church and that he does have for the church.

And we can skip ahead to see that this isn't just my inference. Paul is saying that down in verse 32. He says, this is a great mystery, but I speak. And he's talking about marriage concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself. So love your wife as yourself and that we take care of ourselves pretty well.

And let the wife see that she respects her husband. Now you might say, does that mean wives don't have to love their husbands? No, I think that fits in with what I'm saying, that the wives will naturally love their husbands. But it might be a little easier to not show as much respect, especially if the husband isn't earning the respect. And that's going off another avenue that I'm not wanting to explore today. But I just want to make the point, he's not saying that wives are excused.

You don't have to love your husbands. I think he's just saying, we've got to remind the husbands, hey, you're still supposed to be doing this. So love and marriage is a model of God's love for Christians. It's meant to help us to learn about how God feels about us and how we should reciprocate. But we also have to practice that in our marriages. We have to put it into action slightly differently than God did. Because what did Jesus Christ do to show his love? Well, it says he laid down his life.

Well, we can't be crucified for someone in our family because only Jesus Christ could do that. But we can and we do lay down our life when we devote what our life is made of. Our life is made of our time and our energy. And we only have just so much of it.

Let's go back to a scripture that I skipped purposely in verse 31. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. And the two will become one flesh. That's quoting from Genesis 2 verse 24 where God gave the instruction for when he created marriage. Only, I like the old King James says, the man should cleave to his wife. Maybe I like it because you don't hear it in most places, but it means stick together.

Be joined as it says here. Be bonded. Now, there are important, you know, you could say a number of ways for a husband and wife to put love into action. I want to emphasize the being joined because Christ emphasized that first. And I'm talking about cleaving together meaning staying together, spending time together. That's one we could overlook, but you have to spend time together. That's what your life is made of.

And sometimes when you might feel like doing something else. Spend time doing things together, talking, sharing thoughts and feelings. And by the way, I thought I should put a disclaimer in here that I'm giving the sermon for myself as much as anyone else here. I realize I've been married a lot less duration than many of us here, and I'm still learning these lessons. So I'm looking at principles from Scripture and things I've picked up from others who are more experienced than I am.

I wondered about that. I thought, you know, especially back in the days when they'd send men out from Ambassador College at 22, who just got married, instructing the congregation on how to love their wives and rear their children. So I stay away from those subjects a lot of times because I still feel like I'm young. But it's important. And you think back to when we first start dating, you know, we don't have to be told to do those things.

When you first meet someone and you fall in love, you develop those feelings, then you want to spend all that time together. As a matter of fact, that's the subject of the article that I was writing for Vertical Thought, which, as I said, it'll come out, and I'll forget that I wrote it.

But the direction I went with that is that I propose, and I firmly believe this, that young people can exercise a fair bit of control in falling in love if they control how they spend their time. Because, you know, you can look at someone and say, oh, I'm attracted to that person.

But that won't go any further. You know, I'm like, I'm trying to think if someone, if I could mention someone that won't get me in trouble. Who's a popular actress on TV? I mean, there's lots of them that are very attractive. I say, oh, she's attractive. But I'm not going to fall in love with whoever it is if I'm not spending time. I've got this written in my notes, and I'm not following it, so I know I'm not expressing myself well. What I'm saying is, if you're not ready to fall in love, you don't want to spend very much time with a person of the opposite sex, because feelings could develop and they're hard to control.

And because of that, that's where society gets off track thinking that love just sneaks up on you and hits you over the head, and it's a complete accident. And many people think that it has to be an accident. As a matter of fact, in the article I wrote, I was watching a TV show, and I got angry because there was all this drama and people having difficulty with their relationships. And one of the main characters says, you know, you can't control who you love, or you can't choose who you love. And I turned to Sue, and I said, that's wrong!

You know, I started yelling at Sue, which I do sometimes, because the TV is not listening. I say, you can choose. Now, you can't, I mean, feelings come up without feeling it, but if you spend a lot of time with someone, you can choose when you're ready to spend time and when you're not.

And if you know someone's incompatible, then choose not to spend time with that person so that you won't develop the feelings. And one of the best examples, and I don't want to give too much away, but I met a young man at summer camp that I worked with years ago, and he told me something that surprised me at the time, but I really admired him, because he was just finishing up a master's degree.

And he told me, yeah, you know, for the last several years, I've never been on a date. And he said when he started, he had a career goal. I want to get my bachelor's, I want to get my master's, and then I want to get married, and you know, after I've got a job. So he said he knew he would develop feelings for girls if he started dating.

So while I'm in college, I'm not going to date. Now, he had lots of friends that were girls that he knew and appreciated. And, you know, I've been meaning to follow up, because now he has finished, he's got a good job. Last time I talked to him, he said, well, how's it going in that department? He said, well, I've got some prospects. You know, I'm hoping for his sake that it comes along very well, because he had a deliberate plan.

Now, I can't say I had a deliberate plan when I was his age. I was stupid when I was his age. And some people would say, not a lot of... Well, stupid in those areas. I wasn't... Well, you know. So, you know, like I said, I wrote for a vertical thought telling people, controlling your time can control your emotions.

And you can have some control. Now, you can't control what the other person does. You know, you might want to spend time with someone, and they don't care. That's a whole other story. And I didn't want to make the sermon about that. One thing I want to say is, once you're married, you've already made that commitment. You fell in love however it happened, but now you have to spend that time. You know, you fell in love, you have to continue to love each other. You have to continue to make that sacrifice to give your life that's made up of your time and energy. So, devote yourself. Tell yourself you're going to spend time doing things together. Now, I will say, of course, that doesn't mean every minute of every day. You can have different interests and different activities. I mean, otherwise, you might go a little crazy. But you don't want to have so many that you, you know, say you're going to an office every day, and you do that, and then you decide to join a club or get in a sports league. And so, you go to work, and then you go to the sport, and you don't see your spouse until the end of the day. You say hi, and you go to bed, and next day starts over again. You can do some other activities, but make a lot of time for yourself. My example, I don't have a lot of hobbies, but this time of year, I make a hobby of following the NFL. And the last couple of years, I haven't had much time for that, between new baby and then new job. So, matter of fact, I'm not sure who's leading the standings this year, but I'm going to catch up maybe tomorrow. But when I finished my comprehensives down in grad school, I discovered that I loved football. I could watch three games in a row on Sunday. That's up to about nine and a half hours. And sometimes I did. And then I met Sue and got married and discovered she doesn't want to sit and watch football with me all day on Sunday. And especially when during the week I had to go to an office, it was a part from her. I said, okay, I can't devote all day Sunday to something that she's not part of. So, you know, there's compromises. I'll spend some time watching football, but sometimes I'll be with Sue. And I've had to work with her, but I've expressed to her that I feel the same way about the Home and Garden Channel as she does about the NFL. That I don't want to watch that all day. And she's very good. I mean, I think she likes it. She would watch it, but she realizes if we're going to... What time we spend watching TV, we've got to, you know, find something we both enjoy. And I should mention, I'm not saying that your marriage should consist of watching TV. There's much other better things to do, but when you do, choose something you can do together, at least a lot of that. And talk about what you're choosing to watch. We watched the vice presidential debate earlier this week. I don't know if many of you did. And then we talked a lot about it. And sometimes we'll talk about what we're reading. You know, read various books. It's good to have hobbies that you share in common. Have friends together. And that's something I didn't understand until I was married. You see couples, you know, when you're single, you just have friends, you know, with individuals. But when you're a couple, you have friends with couples. I still don't understand how that works, but I know it works.

Ah. Husbands and wives love each other by spending time together. That's important. But I wanted to make a transition because it occurred to me that if you spend that much time with someone, you could well develop a strong hatred for that person. You know, we're all human. You can't spend that much time together and still love each other unless you express a lot of consideration, unless you do love each other. And here's where I want to go to 1 Corinthians 13. And think of this in terms of the time that you're spending together with someone that you need to spend time with.

1 Corinthians 13, commonly called the Love chapter. I'm going to pick it up in verse 4 because that's where it gets into some of the action words.

Love suffers long and is kind. Now, need I say that mates have to put up with each other's peculiarities. Sometimes they have to suffer long and they still have to be nice to each other, though. Now, be kind. Love doesn't envy. You know, we have to let our mate have some freedom and in some cases acknowledge that he or she is superior to you in some ways.

That's one I've had to work on. I didn't realize how much I was a know-it-all until I got married and realized that Sue was saying, okay, I have to work on that. Don't envy. Don't figure you've got to build yourself up. Acknowledge where your mate is superior. That's a good thing. Love does not parade itself. It's not puffed up. Don't parade yourself. Don't puff yourself up.

Put your husband or wife first and yourself after that. Love does not behave rudely and does not seek its own. You know, when you spend a lot of that time together, you can start taking each other for granted. You can become rude because, as I said, you take each other for granted and you know they have to put up with you. Well, my answer to that is don't do that. I don't have a good technique. I'll just say, don't be rude. Don't take each other for granted. Don't, you know, don't always seek your own. Love is not provoked. I'm inserting the word love because I'm making these comments. Love is not provoked. Doesn't think evil. We can interpret that as we have to control our tempers. If your mate does something that annoys you, take that breath. Count to ten. And give your mate the benefit of the doubt.

As I said, and here's where not being married for a long time, I've got an advantage because I've learned some of these lessons more recently or I'm still in the process of learning them. And some of you learned them so long ago, you forgot. You can circle around and pick it up again. And I didn't mean that as an insult. I just meant that, you know, I acknowledge the benefit of being married a long time.

And like I said, some of you have forgotten more than I've learned because you learned so much. I gotta watch out. I don't mean to be insulting. Okay, where was I? Thinks no evil. Does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth. A mate should encourage the strengths of his or her partner and discourage weaknesses or bad habits.

And that keep in mind, a mate should not be what they call an enabler. Don't help your mate do something that's harmful, but help him or her to overcome.

Those are important things. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

And marriage, that comes out to mean a lot of times you're gonna stick through the hard times, even when it's not easy. And you believe it will be...

Let me say that again. You believe it will get better because together you'll make it better. But a lot of them don't think that it's gonna get better if you can just get rid of that person. Usually you can make it better together.

Now, I know there are cases when it doesn't work out that way, and I know it's not. Love never fails. Sometimes people fail. Sometimes people fail. We just want to strive as Christians to not be the people that fail.

Now, we have access to an endless supply of help to do these things. We have God's Spirit. I'll come back to talk about that a little bit later, but I once heard an older minister say something that...

He said it so well, and I don't think I'll say it as well, but I knew from his years of experience that I wanted to keep it in my memory.

He said he was counseling with a man who came to him and said, I've got this problem. I don't love my wife anymore. Now, what do you mean?

He said, well, it's like I fell out of love. I don't have those feelings. What should I do? And the minister told him, love your wife.

Well, that's the problem. I don't feel the love. And he said, no, love your wife, not the feeling, the action. Take the action.

And I could insert my own words. That's where it strikes me to think of the song. Love is not a feeling. It's an act of your will. Do what you should do. And the minister, as I said, he went on longer than I will here because I didn't write down the words.

But he said, do the things you have to do. Exercise love and action rather than looking for the feeling.

He said, if you exercise all these traits that are in 1 Corinthians 13, you'll find that the feeling will follow the action.

The feelings will come up and they'll be more real and more profound. And as I said, these aren't my words I'm drawing.

And I honestly don't remember which minister it was, but I remember that it was someone old enough for me to say, he knows what he's saying.

I'm going to believe this and do it or strive to do it. It's funny, a lot of times you say, I'm going to do this.

And then years later, you say, okay, I need help to do it.

But yeah, as I said, if you do the right things, we have the promise that you'll be pleasantly surprised by the feelings that will come.

Now, we should also consider some other basic functions. Like I said, 1 Corinthians 13 is good, but there are some other things in love that just plain require action.

Let's go to 1 Timothy 5 and verse 8.

Okay, I'm not doing too bad. 1 Timothy 5 and verse 8.

This isn't necessarily talking about love, but I want to put it in this context because I believe it fits.

Here again, Paul is telling Timothy to share this with his congregations.

If anyone does not provide for his own, especially those of his household, he's denied the faith. He's worse than an unbeliever.

This is talking about providing for the basic physical needs.

Now, in this case, they were talking specifically about men, the head of households providing.

And that fits, of course, through most of human history, providing for your family meant very hard physical labor.

It took the strength of the male of the species to be able to do it.

Going out and working a farm, herding livestock, exercising a trade.

In our modern society and economy, in America today, a woman can provide just as easily, I don't know, just as easily, but usually as well or better than men can because of the different jobs we have.

Either way it goes, you have to provide for your family. We need food, clothing, shelter.

And I'll mention that I think God wired into men to want to provide.

We should be doing what we can, even though society has made it so we can contribute in different ways.

But there are some things that do fall on the men because Bible says so.

And I didn't want to put a lot of scriptures in there, but, as a matter of fact, I'm thinking I might do a sermon on this later, that men have to provide spiritual leadership for the family. They're just required to do it.

We have to provide emotional support. Sometimes, also, plain old physical service of the things we're good at.

You know, like when your wife is sick, she shouldn't have to clean the house.

You know, it's an act of love to go provide those things. Or if it's something she doesn't know how to do.

Sue doesn't know how to change the oil in the car. And she's smart enough she could read a book and figure it out, but I've been doing it for years. That's one of the things I do.

It reminds me of, I don't remember if it was in a sermon or in a seminar, I heard Mr. Luker speaking about this.

He said that he and his wife, Leanne, had read a book. I think it's talking about love's languages.

And I haven't read the book yet, but showing that different people express and feel love in different ways.

For some people, it's by saying the words. Others, it's by giving gifts. For some, it's words of action, or taking action.

And he mentioned that his wife, Leanne, appreciated love or understood it by acts of service.

And him, he was thinking in terms of words and gifts. So he'd bring her flowers and say, I love you, honey.

And she'd say, yeah, but when are you going to fix that broken hinge on the door?

She wanted him to show his love by doing that. And that's just one example.

But as I said, if you have that skill of things you can do, you need to do that.

Let's also go in 1 Timothy 5 and verse 14.

He gives an instruction that he's addressing it to widows, but I think it can apply to women in general.

Where he says, I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house.

And giving no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

Now, I'll make a disclaimer. I'm not saying that we all should go live in the 1950s, where the men have to go out and work and women can't, and women have to be full-time homemakers.

Although there's not necessarily anything wrong with that model, it's a nice thing.

And it's a good thing for a woman, I think, as I said, where God made us different, it's natural for women to have that talent to manage the house.

Or, as I've heard it said very well, to make a house into a home.

And there's something I remember well. Before I met and married Sue, I shared a house with two other bachelors.

And men, at least us three men, didn't make a house into a home the way a woman could do.

So I appreciate that so much about her.

And one of the things we could do is, whatever our talents are that we can contribute to the household, take those actions. I guess that's what I'm coming down to.

Like I said, I didn't want to pigeonhole us into roles, even though we have natural tendencies.

And I'm not against the earlier model. I think men should be breadwinners and lead the household. Women should do what this says.

You know, take a primary role in raising the children, providing the home.

But these are acts of love. Giving, doing action. That's very important.

When we contribute our effort and talents, when we do what we can to make our families function, that's love and action.

Now, as I said, there's other things that we have to do. I mentioned those languages of love. We should do the basic ones of saying the words. Say, I love you.

Even if it's not the primary thing, you don't have to do it as much as when you first get married.

But you've probably heard the joke where the woman tells her husband, We've been married for 20 years and you never tell me you love me.

He says, well, when we got married 20 years ago, I said I loved you. If it changes, I'll let you know.

No, that's not so good. We should say it. You know, it's good to hold hands.

It's like that. Hug and kiss. The things you did when you were dating.

These are actions to help show love.

Let's turn to 1 Corinthians 7.

I saved this one for last, mainly because it's focused so much on in society that they put it first and often only.

1 Corinthians 7, starting in verse 3.

Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her.

In the Old King James it says, do benevolence.

What in the world does that mean?

Some translations say conjugal dues, which you might still say, what does that mean?

But if you keep reading it, it starts becoming evident.

If I can find my place again.

Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise the wife to the husband.

The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does.

Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except with consent, for a time, that you may give yourself to fasting and prayer, but come together again so that Satan doesn't tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

He goes on to say, I say this is a concession, not a commandment.

Remember, the Apostle Paul, we're pretty sure was single.

There's some debate. Some people think he was married and probably became a widower.

He expressed later, because he thought Christ would return anytime, and the great tribulation would come that it's better not to get married, but it's okay if you need to.

Well, here he's saying, if you're married, you should do the things for each other that you need to.

A simple instruction that says, sex is part of marriage, and that's one of the actions that you do to show love.

Of course, it's an action that can have a very powerful effect on our emotions. That's part of why it's only for marriage.

One of the reasons Paul had to give this instruction, of course, is, as you know, if you're married, the husband and wife don't always want to participate in the action necessarily at the same time.

And that's where forbearance and understanding by both is needed, like many things in life. You have to put your spouse first.

And of course, that's why it says, one doesn't have authority over his own body, the other does. But it goes both ways.

If a man has control over his wife's body, she has control over his. Now, she might say, yeah, I have control over your body, and that body is staying over there.

But if both or either claim that privilege, very often it can lead to troubles, frustration, anger, not expressions of love.

As I said, like so many other things in marriage, you need to put your spouse's interests first. And think about all that stuff in 1 Corinthians 13.

Now, that's where I even put in my notes. I don't want to talk a lot about sex. It's not something I normally discuss in public.

For those who are married, a word to the wise is enough. And for those who aren't married, much more than a word is too much.

But I did want to add one thing, partly, as I said, I like to draw on the experience of others. And this is one that I still ponder a little bit.

Years ago, when I was in college, and there was a girl that I was interested in, we dated a bit. But I discovered, you know, we'd been dating for a while, and sometimes we sort of run out of things to say.

And I thought, hmm, haven't had this happen before. So I asked my boss, he was only about 10 or 15 years older than me, I said, what do you do if you're married and you run out of things to talk about?

And he thought, hmm, well, go to bed.

And I didn't think, I should have asked a follow-up question, because to this day, I don't know if you meant turn off the light and go to sleep, because there's nothing more to talk about, or if you meant the other thing you do in bed.

But one thing I will say, sexual intimacy can open up the gates to discussion. You know, it just lets down the barriers, and you can talk more freely, so there's nothing wrong with it. I think God made it that way.

But as I said, sex is only for marriage because it's such a powerful tool for connecting us emotionally and helping us to discuss things that are very personal that we might not want to discuss.

So as I said, I'm talking about actions expressing love. That's one of them, not the only one.

There are, of course, within families, other relationships where we have to express love and action.

Parents need to love their children. Children, their parents. Brothers and sisters need to love each other, and all of that has to be love and action.

But of course, those relationships are different than that of a husband and wife.

Only the husband and wife relationship is typified by that of Christ in the Church.

So that's why I'm not, well, not only that why, but because of the time, I didn't plan to break down every one of those relationships because I think how to express that love can fit within talking about how all of us as spiritual brethren express love.

That's another important relationship.

We've seen God created marriage to reflect the love of Christ for the Church, but we can also see that Christ commands us to exercise love amongst each other as spiritual brethren in the same way that He loves us.

Let's go to John 13. John 13, and we'll read, starting in verse 34.

Once again, some of His parting instructions to the disciples before He would leave them, but would give them the Holy Spirit so they would understand everything He said.

So John 13 and verse 34, we sing this often, A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another as I have loved you, that you should love one another.

And that's the way all that will know that you're my disciples if you have love for one another.

You know, our love for each other is an identifying sign, but it's not just any type of love. He said, Love each other the way I love you. And we've already seen that's a pretty special type of love. The two are inseparable.

And, matter of fact, God's Word shows it's inseparable. Let's go to 1 John again. 1 John 4 and verse 20.

I told you I was going to exercise the fingers. We only have a few more scriptures to go, though. 1 John 4 and verse 20. If someone says, I love God and hates his brother, he's a liar. For he who does not love his brother, whom he's seen, how can he love God, who he's not seen?

And this is the commandment we have from him, that he who loves God must love his brother also.

So, one of the ways we show love for God is loving our brother. And he tells us, Love your brother the way I love you.

Now, we've discussed the need to spend time with our mates to express love. But we should also spend time with our spiritual brethren.

Of course, not as much as we do our mates. I suspect, unless there's somebody that you work with, like, you know, that's a partner you spend eight hours a day with, you would never come close to spending as much time with any other person as you do with your mate.

But we do want to try to make a parallel. And I think, where it's possible, it's good for us to spend more time with our spiritual brethren than with people who aren't, with co-workers or acquaintances.

Not that they're bad or evil, but God commands us to show love. And that means laying down our lives for each other, which means giving of our time and energy.

That's one of the reasons we come together on services. We have special church activities, you know, on socials. It's good for us to be here to show that love for each other.

We're having the Spokesman's Club here, where the men can spend time together. We have summer camps, winter family weekends. Of course, the Feast of Tabernacles is not only a time for great spiritual instruction, but we spend time together.

If iron is going to sharpen iron, we have to be in each other's presence for that to happen. And while we're doing that, that whole time, remember what we read in 1 Corinthians 13.

We must be willing to suffer long, be kind, not envy, not be puffed up, be considerate, and do not be rude. As he said, bear all things, hope all things, endure all things.

Those are important ways that we should be and feel. And maybe it's a little vague about the doing. How can we exercise love in action for brethren in specific ways?

Well, let's go to 1 John chapter 3. This is one particular one. It's worth noting. And I think there are many in this congregation that are very good at fulfilling this. So this isn't meant as a correction. It's meant as looking what the Scripture says. 1 John 3, 17.

Whoever has this world's goods and sees his brother in need and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? And that's not love. But, he says, my little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. We read that earlier, but we hadn't read what came before it. You see, someone has a need. It's interesting that he addresses the feelings.

Don't shut up your heart, but he talks about more than the feeling. Give them what they need. Let's see the parallel in James chapter 2. James 2 and verse 15.

Now, this we've heard many times, but I don't know in this context. James 2 verse 15. If a brother or sister is naked in destitute of daily food, and one of you says, Depart in peace. Be warmed and filled. But you don't give them the things that are needed for the body. What does it profit? Thus also, faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. Now, it's a common saying in the church. Faith without works is dead. I think we could put alongside it saying, love without action is empty. Now, I'll note, faith without works is in the scripture. I just made up love without action.

But you can see, I think they go together. Real love is more than a feeling. We need to exercise love in action. And the action won't always be the same thing. This talks about giving someone something they need. Sometimes what someone needs is for you to sit and listen to them. Or give them a phone call. Or spend your time in various ways. It varies, but be willing and be on the lookout for those things.

Now, we've many times been told, and I'm just going to reference Matthew 18, where it starts in verse 15, that if your brother has offended you, it takes love, and you should exercise love in action by going to him, but going to him alone with the goal of reconciliation. It says, go to your brother alone, and if he hears you, you've gained your brother. So, gaining your brother, being reconciled is the main goal. And if it doesn't work, then take a couple other people with you, and only as a last resort share the matter with the whole church. Doing that properly is a case of showing love in action.

Now, I wanted to refer to that because we've heard a lot of talk of that in the church, and it's very important. We hear about it a lot because of how important it is. But I want to bring up an action that might seem to be rather passive, but can be very important. And I think, as I said, because stifling ourselves is so important, that it can take a real effort.

And that is, sometimes the action we have to take is to wait. To wait. You might see a fault or a problem with your brother. When it comes to correcting our brothers in love, we might be eager to go to Matthew 18, and I'm going to go fix this. But sometimes giving that person room is an important act of love. Now, you don't just wait and let something go forever, necessarily, but give a person time to sort things out, perhaps to overcome, and perhaps lending a hand when necessary. We read 1 Corinthians 13 and verse 4. When Paul talked about the things that love does, the first one he said, Love suffers long.

Sometimes what you do for your brother in love is to suffer. Now, we should all make it a goal that we never make our brothers suffer. Sometimes what we need to do is reform our action and stop doing things that cause someone to suffer. But, as I said, sometimes being patient and waiting is very important. It happens in families. How many parents have seen that? I know that Sue has said, as teachers, they used to say, choose your battles. Choose the things that you need to go address and some things you let wait for the right time.

And what goes along with that waiting is, one of the things that love does is forgive. Be willing to wait, be willing to suffer, be willing to forgive. We're here in the general epistle, if we'll go to 1 Peter chapter 4, and we'll see how it goes together. 1 Peter 4 and verse 8. He who does not love doesn't know God. God is love.

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm reading 1 John 4. It fits with the subject matter, but it's not what I was intending to read. 1 Peter 4 and verse 8. Above all, have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins.

I want to get love will cover a multitude of sins. Not that our love can't forgive sins. For sin to be forgiven needs repentance and the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. But passing over, not letting it get to you, is an act of love for one another, and especially within the church.

That's where we need to have that. Love can cover a multitude of sins. And let's go to Luke chapter 7 to see another side of that. Luke 7 beginning in verse 42. Christ brings out a parable that will see sometimes the forgiving in love is what helps bring the love back again. Luke 7 and verse 41. Here he's presenting a hypothetical situation of parables. There was a certain creditor who had two debtors. One owed him 500 denarii. Denarii, I think, is expressed as a full day's wage.

The other 50. So one owed him ten times as much as the other. They had nothing with which to repay, so he freely forgave them both. Now, which one will love him more? He said you could say the forgiving the debt was done in love. Now, which one is going to love back more? Now, I want to skip ahead because he was asking this parable because he was at the home of a Pharisee, and this woman of ill repute had come in, and he wanted to make it a point that he would forgive her sins, and she might appreciate it more.

Let's go down to verse 47. Jesus says, Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. Now, I wanted to focus on this last phrase, to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little. If you want to help someone to love you, be willing to forgive. Show your love first sometimes.

Now, it reminds me of another thing I learned in college from the same professor. He said, you can't make someone love you, but you can love them. And when you've done that, you've done the best you can. Now, I want to bring up another important thing that I think fits with this.

When we're talking about our brethren, I've been saying over and over again, love is not a feeling. It's an act of your will. That means sometimes you'll do things that you don't feel like doing. You'll do it because you're expressing love, you're forcing yourself. And I just want to make the point that that's okay. God wants us to love the brethren as well as love our families. That doesn't mean that you'll necessarily always like every one of your brethren. I want to make a distinction because I'm saying love might be the action.

It's all these things, and liking someone is the feeling. Face it, in our physical families, we don't always have a great deal of love and attraction for everybody in our family, even though we might love them.

When I was a teenager, my sister and I, we were clashing all the time. Not all the time, but we didn't necessarily like each other very much, but when it came down to it, we did love each other. We looked out for each other, and we love each other still very much now. We overcame that, but I'm saying that the feelings aren't as important. But you can express real love to someone that you don't have a feeling of attraction. And that makes sense. We have 100-some people here in the Portsmouth congregation.

You'll feel a natural affection and attachment for some more than others. It's okay to do that, but you can love them all. We can all love each other because the love is the act more than the feeling. But, as I said, remember, the feelings will often follow the action. If there's somebody you don't like very much, still love them, and you might find that you're growing more attached to that person over time.

Now, when I think about that, maybe the song was right. Maybe all you need is love. I should have the... was it the trombones? All you need is love. If we understand that love... Somebody say sax? Saxophone. Good, yeah. When God is love, He demonstrates His perfect love by what He does. In John 4, verse 19, I'm just going to read this, but it says, He loves us because we first loved Him. So, where that kind of love is present, that's all you need, because it'll take care of all the other things. And that shows also that it's already started. God made the first step. I said, you know, you can't control if someone loves you, but you can love them. Well, God loved us and expressed it, and He wants us to return that. Let's do read Romans 5 and verse 5. Last scripture I want to read. It's funny, I thought I was going to end early today. I'm developing a bad habit of this. Romans 5 and verse 5. Now, this is breaking into a thought where Paul was making a series of things, but I want to get towards the end of this one, because that's where it deals with love. Romans 5 and verse 5 says, Hope does not disappoint because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts. I think some translations say, into our hearts, by the Holy Spirit that He's given us. Everything we really need, or I should say, like everything else we really need, God can and He will provide it to us through His Holy Spirit. With God dwelling in us by the Spirit, we have the right love. So even if we don't have it on our own, God can give us His love through the Holy Spirit. We can have real, true love. And as we say with the Holy Spirit, God provides it, but you've got to use it. Put it into action. As I said, marriage is the model of the love between God and us. That's a perfect opportunity for us to learn about love and practice it, to do the things that express love and grow in it. And then beyond that, even if we're not married, we do have the body of the Church, the brothers and sisters in Christ, where we can express and exercise love. We all have the opportunity in our spiritual family to exercise love, to put love into action. So I hope we can all feel love, but always remember love is more than a feeling. Real love is an act of your will.