Family Matters

Appreciated Mr. Alwine's sermon today, because that does tie in very well with what it is that I would like to talk about this afternoon. And the title of my message is, Family Matters. Family matters. And that's sort of a play on words, because today I want to talk to you about matters related to the family. And in doing so, it's my hope that this message will also reinforce your conviction that family truly does matter. Again, brother, family matters. When we come together at a weekend such as this, and we have the organized activities that have been put together, we have Sabbath services, evening activities, activities on Sunday, you know, they're all designed and prepared for a specific purpose.

But it's not all meant to just be towards the end, the goal of having fun. You know, we do intend that this weekend would be fun, and that you would have a fun time, and we try to plan it for fun. But the purpose of these activities is actually designed towards the involvement and the encouragement of the family.

In fact, it's designed for the strengthening of the family relationships, whether it's in your physical family or whether it's in the spiritual family here in the Church of God. You know, traditionally in the Church, and I can remember all the way back to my childhood growing up, the family has always been a main focus of the Church's function, of its activities, and even what it preached. I can remember as a child, my dad was not actually in the Church, he was in the Navy, my mom was in the Church, but one thing that impressed him greatly about the Church was its focus on family.

And because of that, he supported us financially to go to the Feast of Tabernacles and eventually began attending with us as well. But I can remember back to what the foundation of that interest on his part was, and it was the focus on the family. Again, so as I say, the Church has always had that high focus, and there's a reason for that. Because, brethren, we can look around at the world in which we live in today, and we can see that the God-instituted family unit is under direct assault.

You know, the society in which we live is moving farther and farther away from the traditional family as the high standard that is to be looked to, and that goal that we are to emulate in our lives. If you were to go out on the street and say something like, marriage is to only be between one man and one woman, who are bound in a covenant relationship before God, you would be considered in some ways backwards by the modern trend of thinking in our society today. If you were to say that the sexual relationship and that the producing of children should only be kept within the confines of that said marriage relationship, you would be considered to be outdated.

You know, that's your grandparents' philosophy, and you just need to get with the day. To say that children can thrive best in a household where the traditional family is intact is somehow considered to be shallow, to be ignorant, and again, just old school.

So why does family have such a high focus in the Church of God? Why do we bring together weekends and activities such as this, that focus on the strengthening of the family? Well, ultimately, brethren, the answer lies in what God is doing. The Church recognizes that it is God who is the creator of the family. And it's through the physical family and the family relationships that God teaches us what it is that He is doing on a much larger scale.

You see, God, our Father, is creating a family. He's building His family, and the purpose for creating us is to bring many sons to glory in that family. God wants sons and daughters. He wants to expand His family. Our God is a family man. He is indeed our Father, and He is building His family. One intent of the physical family as established from creation is that it would be a reflection of God's family plan, so that when we look to our families and the structure of our families, we would have a clearer understanding as to exactly what it is that God is doing, why it is that He is bringing His family to be.

Understanding that God is building His family should motivate you and I to fulfill and to preserve the structure of the God-centered structure in our families today. Understanding what it is that God is accomplishing should motivate us in how we live our lives, how we govern our marriages, how we work within the relationships of the family unit as God has established it. By and large, this world doesn't understand God's family plan. Because they don't understand that plan, they can't understand the purpose for mankind's existence.

They don't understand the answers to the tough questions. If I could borrow those from Dr. Ward, those tough questions would be, who is God? What is God? What is His purpose? And in addition to that, who is man?

What is man? What is His purpose? Those are fundamental questions that each and every one of us should have the answer to, and we should have that solidly fixed in our mind. Who is God? What is God? What is His purpose? Who is man? What is man? What is His purpose? But because the world doesn't understand that God is creating His family, and they can't look to the family in that structure and understand what God is doing, they're missing out on the answers to those very important life questions.

As well, because this world doesn't comprehend what God is teaching through the family structure, therefore the family structure itself is being thrown out. It's being sent out the door. I would like to tell us and explain to us and show us today, brethren, why it ought not be so among us as God's people. Because as the people of God, we've been called to reflect God's family plan. The way that we live our lives, the relationships that we have with our husband and our wife and our children, God's given us a tremendous opportunity to not only know what He's doing, but to express it and to demonstrate it through our families.

I'd like to begin in Genesis 1, because Genesis 1 begins to show us what it is that God is doing. In order for us to understand completely what it is that we need to do, we need to understand what God is doing and actually what are the steps He's bringing about to accomplish it. In Genesis 1, we see the beginning of the family that God is beginning to create and the beginning of the process that He's putting in place by which His family will come to its ultimate fulfillment.

Genesis 1 and verse 26, a familiar passage to us, says, Then God blessed them and God said to them, Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it. Have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, over every living thing that moves on the earth. And so what we see is that in the beginning God created man in the image of God, according to the similitude of God.

But that wasn't the end of the process, because God created man with the intent that he would be formed into his own likeness. And that likeness is more than just our physical shape. That likeness includes our nature, our very character, and ultimately He wants us to be formed into the spiritual likeness of His being.

That's the fullest fulfillment of what God meant when He said, Let us create man in our image according to our likeness. God is bringing that about, brethren, in our lives. And the process starts with the physical creation. It started with Adam and Eve. In the beginning they were made in the image of God by His hand, and so in that sense, physically they were literally the sons of God. He was their father, but in physical form. As a descendant of Adam and Eve, then we too are the offspring of God in that physical form. In fact, the Apostle Paul confirms that in Acts 1739, where he says, We are the offspring of God.

God the Father is literally our Father. Mankind was created by His hand. Now, God established the marriage relationship and the sexual union between a man and a woman, so then that family structure could be created and continued on, so that the human race could be propagated and continued on, so that God can then work through families, through descendants, again, to bring many sons to glory, to bring many more sons and daughters into His kingdom.

Now, simply being the physical offspring of God doesn't automatically make us His spiritual children. I mean, in that sense, physically, we come from the Creator God, from the hand of God, and that doesn't necessarily bring us to the complete end of being His spiritual children. The next step in the process of being born into God's family involves receiving His Holy Spirit, being implanted with that measure of that spiritual being of God. Through the process of conversion, brethren, that God actually spiritually engenders us as His own children, which means He literally implants in us, again, a measure of Himself. That's what happens when we receive God's Holy Spirit upon baptism, upon the forgiveness and the remission of sins. When we have the laying on of hands, God literally gives us a measure of Himself, and we become the spiritually begotten children of God. That's not the end of the process, though, either, because through this whole process, we start to walk in newness of life. We start to develop and grow and learn to become in the likeness of God, again, according to His nature, according to His character and the character of the example He sent, His Son Jesus Christ.

New scriptures refer to converted Christians as the begotten of God. We're called the children of God. The Bible refers to us as the sons of God, and in that relationship, it's clearly a family relationship that God's establishing. He didn't just set us out here to do our own thing without any direction. It is a family relationship, a father to a son, a father to a daughter relationship that God began at creation and continues to expand through the spiritual begettle of His family. God is our Father. We are His begotten children. Let's notice Romans 8. We see explanation in terms of how this process is continued.

Romans 8, beginning in verse 11, it says, But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies, through His Spirit which dwells in you. It says, See, I think Mr. Alwine gave me his troubles. That's all right. The Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out of a Father.

You know, the word adoption here is interesting. A more accurate translation would actually be sonship. Because, you see, adoption is when you bring someone into your family, and you do very much make them a part of your family structure and love and care and relationship. But an individual that's been adopted still has the genetic makeup and characteristics of their biological parent. But what God is doing is something a little different even than that. We are literally begotten of God. My wife and I have two children. They came from us. They are a part of each of us. They look like us. They have our physical characteristics and makeup. In fact, my wife oftentimes says, that's your daughter. But they are our children, literally. The physical family is a type of what God is doing spiritually. He is creating a family after his own kind.

Again, we are being born into the family of God to be like God in terms of the type of being in existence that he is. And it's not, in a sense, an adoption. It is indeed sonship. Let's notice John. I'm sorry, let's stay here for just a moment. We'll continue on in verse 16 because it continues the process. It says, It says, So it's called out sons of God in the flesh, we're one day going to be glorified in the same likeness of God, the Father and Jesus Christ. Again, let us make man in our image according to our likeness. That ultimate fulfillment will be spiritually one day after the resurrection, after our change. And it is that time that you and I will be in the form and likeness of God. Notice 1 John chapter 3.

1 John chapter 3, beginning in verse 1.

1 John 3 verse 1.

So again, brethren, after our resurrection, after our change, when our Father is revealed, we will see Him like He is because we will be like He is of the same form, of the same nature and character. And made over again into the same likeness of God. And the purpose of that being is that you and I would be members of the divine family of God then for the rest of eternity. God is building His family. We are His children. Our physical families are intended to be a type of what God is doing on a spiritual level. Again, when we look at our families, when we look at the structure, when we look at the relationships, we should be reminded of what it is that God is doing and what it is that we must be doing as well. Through our family structure and relationships, we learn to appreciate the love of a Father and the sacrifice that a Father gives for His children. God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believed in Him would not perish but have everlasting life. That's the love of the Father for His children. Jesus Christ came as our sacrifice, yes, but the Father sacrificed on our behalf as well. Through the relationship of family, we begin to understand the dependence and the trust that a child has as well towards His parents. We know we rely completely on God, the Father, to provide for us all that we need. And so these relationships within the family then teach us of God, the care He has for His children, the relationship we're supposed to have as we look to Him. Again, our families are intended to reflect God's family plan. But as Mr. Alwine stated in the first message, there's a counterfeit, isn't there? There's an adversary. There's actually one who's opposed to the family plan of God, and he's doing whatever it is he can to destroy that. Satan hates the family structure and what it represents. He hates what God is doing through the family because, you see, it doesn't include him in that way.

What did Satan and the Devil want? Well, he wanted to be a being such as God was. He wanted to be in rulership and dominion over all of God's creation. He wanted to be over the rest of the angels, did he not? God has offered to us the opportunity one day to exist on a level above the angels, to have rulership over all of God's creation. That's what Satan and the Devil tried to take by force. It is what God has offered us as sons and daughters in his kingdom for all eternity. Satan and the Devil hates the family because it reflects what God is doing and what it is that he cannot have. So he's actively working in this world, actively working to destroy the family.

In his anger and rebellion, Satan works to disrupt family relationships any way he can. His attacks on the family are geared towards causing us to lose perspective. Again, it's to take our eyes off of what is God doing? What is his plan? What is his purpose for me? When we look to our families, we should be reminded of those things. I think Satan and the Devil has been quite successful in what it is that he's been allowed to accomplish in this world. If we look around, the world is full of broken families and relationships. It's full of people who do not understand the family plan of God.

I recently ran across a Pew Research poll that was conducted in 2012, and the statistics are rather interesting. I want you to maybe ask yourself real quick, see if you can think of the answer. What percentage of families in this world are living up to what we would consider the God-instituted family structure? Just the United States, what percentage of families do you think are intact according to the God-instituted structure? According to the Pew Research poll, it says that only 46% of US kids younger than 18 years of age are living in a home. with two married heterosexual parents in their first marriage. 46%? That's less than half. This was in 2012, I'm sure it's declined somewhat since then. It says this marks a change from 1960 when 73% of children fit the description and 1980 when 61% did. I tried also to Google some stats related to what is the tax burden, what is the cost on a welfare system in terms of providing supplemental income as a result of broken families? That's one of those things that's a little hard to pin down. The numbers were in a wide range. But $150 billion a year is estimated to be spent just simply in welfare assistance. That doesn't include the the outfall from the destruction of families and relationships and how it affects adults and children as they move out from there and all the other social programs that need to help in that way. $150 billion. Now, my purpose isn't to say that this is one size fits all because, again, brethren, I understand there's legitimate reasons why people are in these categories. But we also need to understand that this isn't just simply a abnormality. This is the new norm. You know, again, some of it is legitimate, but Satan the devil is working his work in this world. And he's quite successful in what he's been allowed to accomplish.

Almost everywhere we look in society today, the strength of the family structure is being turned upside down. It's being ridiculed. It's being maligned. It's turned on the television. What do you see? You know, to me, you don't have to look very far to see the breakdown of the family structure and to see it laughed at, to see it kind of held up as, you know, this is a funny dysfunction that we can all get a little entertainment out of. Numerous commercials. I've noticed them. You probably have to. You probably don't have to sit through more than one or two sets of commercials to portray the Father as incomparable. You know, he's unable to live up to his God-given responsibilities. Generally, he's portrayed as, you know, unemployed. He's kind of messy, maybe a little clumsy, sort of a slob. He likes to sit on the couch and watch football all day. You know, the wife's heading out the door because she's providing for the family. She has the job. She's caring for the children. She's superwoman, holding everything together, and as she heads out the door, says, now, dear, don't forget these chores. And, you know, he'll sit there and watch football all day, and suddenly she pulls up in the driveway and he remembers, oh no. You know, he jumps up to clean the house, but luckily he has the super-swifter vacuum. You know, you know the routine. The point is, brethren, that the family is being maligned, being ridiculed, and it ought not be so. Now, I'm not saying these things don't ever happen, but is this a reflection of what a godly family should look like, or is it a reflection of the dysfunction that is taking place in society? I'd say it's the dysfunction of society, and it's created by the one who is actually working to diminish the credibility of the Father. Satan the Devil doesn't want us to look at our spiritual Father and Creator as competent. He wants us to look to God and think, you know what, he's sort of a deadbeat dad. He's sort of just taken a hands-off approach to this world and to the people of it. You know, that's the image that Satan the Devil is trying to portray. It's one that diminishes the importance and the credibility of the Father. You don't need dad. You can get along just fine without him anyway. Yesterday at home, I was in the other room working, and I walked into where Darla and Austin were having a conversation, and I got a minute, made me kind of happy. I just got the tail end of it, but Austin was, from what I grasped, asking Darla, you know, if I didn't make it back from Africa alive, what kind of job would he have to get in order to keep the family afloat? Darla was reassuring him, you know, it's okay. Dad has life insurance. So, the point was, oh, you know, there's money here. If something happens to dad, and that's about when I walked in, and so I guess the point I made was, yes, there is life insurance in place that the family's cared for, and, you know, I saw that that was taken care of. But as a fine balance, you want to put enough in place that your family's cared for, but you don't want to put a bounty on your head as well. And so, what made me happy was knowing that as the father, I was wanted, dead or alive.

But, you know, we live in a world, brethren, where the family is being destroyed, and the father is being pushed out as one that no longer needs to be looked to as important and significant. And I just don't think that's a coincidence. I think there's an adversary that wants to take our eyes off of the living God, off of the father that is working to bring us into his family for all eternity. You know, in addition to that, the concept of children honoring their parents and gaining wisdom from the instruction that their parents give them is laughed at, it's put down, it's ridiculed as well. You know, many of the shows that are geared towards our teens often portray mom and dad as dumb, you know, without a clue. And you have the children having to go and do their thing because mom and dad just don't understand. And at the end of the show, oftentimes, you have the parent who learned the lesson. They came and apologized to their rude and disobedient children because, I guess, I just didn't understand. You know, it's a society that's being bred and a mindset that's being set that children know best. Father, what does he know? There used to be a show called Father Knows Best that was back in the day of my parents, my grandparents. Father Knows Best. But today, it's become Child Knows Best. It reminds me of the dysfunction in the nation of Judah. God addressed it, and I'll just quote from you Isaiah, chapter 3, 11, It says, for as my people, the children are their oppressors, and women rule over them.

You know, it's an age and it's a condition that's taking place in our society today. And you know what? I'm not putting the blame fully on the children. I'm not putting the blame fully on the woman. I'm putting the blame all the way around because if the man would stand up today and fulfill his role as a father and as a husband of the family, I do believe as well that these things would not be so. But again, Satan's attacking the family, the structure, and the family plan of God. The Church of God is a place where we must maintain godly family relationships. It's why we have the activities. This is where the family should bloom, where it should thrive, where it should grow and be strong. That's our intent here in the Church. I want to look briefly at what the Bible says those relationships should look like and how they should function because we need to be evaluating ourselves, asking, are these things in place in our life? Let's go to Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 22. We're going to look at the husband-wife relationship first.

Ephesians chapter 5 verse 22. It says, Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. Well, that's just not very popular in today's society and way of thinking, is it? But we'll talk about that in a moment, just a little bit. Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Well, that's good. Let's close the book and call it a day, right? It doesn't stop there. It says, Love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her, that he may sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she would be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives, just as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. And so the relationship between the husband and wife is intended to reflect the relationship between Jesus Christ and the church. And, brethren, if we begin to understand the way in which Christ sacrificed for the church, in which he loved the church, in which he laid himself down in service for the people of God, then we should understand the manner in which the husband should conduct himself towards his wife, the manner in which he should look out for her best interest. Wife, on turn, is instructed to submit to the leadership of her husband as to Christ. And, again, that's not a very popular concept in our world today, but you know it is something that is designed to work well, and it's something that the wife generally does willingly if her husband is loving, right? If he is honorable, if he is leading as he should in a godly manner. This isn't something where the husband says, you know what, this book says you're to submit to me no matter what. Both the husband and wife have accountability in the ways in which they act towards one another. Verse 30, it says, For we are members of his body, and of his flesh, and of his bones. For this reason the man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. And Paul says this is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Brethren, if we understand that God is building his family, and if we understand the relationship whereby the church then is to become the bride of Christ in that family of God, then it should impress upon us the need to have the right and proper perspective in the relationship between the husband and the wife. In most cases, marriage leads to children, leads to parenthood. And then as parents, we have the obligation to continue that education, the obligation to point our children to God. He's given them to us as a gift and as a heritage, it's something that's not to be squandered or wasted. That relationship and our obligation as parents to that relationship is to then turn our children and direct them towards God. Notice Psalm 127.

Psalm 127, beginning in verse 3.

Psalm 127, verse 3, it says, And behold, children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them. They shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate. It talks about children and a bow and an arrow and, you know, what does a warrior do with an arrow? Well, he pulls it out of his quiver and he points it in the direction and he shoots it towards a target. And in that sense, as parents, that is what we are to do. We are to take our children and point them towards God, give them the ability to seek that relationship and follow through on it. If we do our part, hopefully then as they grow up, they will turn and do their part, seeking God in their life, establishing God in their marriage and with their children. Teaching our children involves much more than simply words. And that's where this comes into the accountability of the parents, because teaching our children requires action. When our children look to us, they need to see that God's way works. It's not enough to just say, this word is true and God's way works, but they need to see us living it in our lives and the way that we conduct ourselves in our marriage and with our relationships. Do we demonstrate the working power of God instituted in our life? Do we show that God's way works? We're told to teach our children when you sit in your home, when you walk by the way. You can teach them tomorrow when you go down the bounty hill, when you fall down when you rise up again. We're always to be taking an opportunity to teach our children of God and point them in that direction.

Young people as well, I'd like to talk to you for a moment, because the Bible contains many examples of your relationship in the family, how you're to function in the family structure. And it's critical as well to the success of not only your future, but the strength of your family today. Let's just look at one scripture here, Proverbs chapter 1. Proverbs 1 and verse 8. Here's the wisdom of Solomon on display for us.

Proverbs chapter 1 and verse 8.

It says, Solomon's saying, young people, your parents' instructions really do have value. Listen to them. Plant them in your life. They're trying to direct you in a way that will bring you success, not only physically in this life, but spiritually as well, spiritually in relation to your direct relationship with your Father, the Almighty God. Consider what it is your parents have to say. I think it will include one more scripture. Ephesians chapter 6. The scripture as well points to the young people.

Ephesians 6.

Beginning in verse 1. It says, That sounds pretty good, doesn't it? We want it to go well for us. We want long life. We want blessings. God says, Again, partly because their instructions point you in the right way of life. Their instructions help to keep you, as we heard in the Bible study last night, from making serious mistakes that have the possible effect of great hardship and destruction in your life. Listen to your parents. Consider the wisdom that they have to offer. Again, it's intended to be a blessing from God.

Finally, brethren, I'd like to speak to everyone else here, because if you're not a spouse, if you're not a husband or wife, if you're not a parent, if you're not a brother or sister, the point is, God has still placed you within the family structure. The concept of family applies to all of us, because spiritually, God has called us out to be a part of His family. And that makes us brethren. That makes us brothers and sisters in the spiritual family of God, and it is very much a family structure. The Apostle Paul instructed Timothy to treat the older men as fathers, the younger men as brothers, the older women as mothers, and the younger as sisters. That's the way this relationship functions here in the Church of God. And it is truly a blessing to be part of the body of Christ. And to have family right here within the confines of these walls here in this congregation, we are the family before God. Brethren, how committed are we to supporting one another within the families that God has given us? Both our physical families and the spiritual families today. How committed are we? Husbands, do you make an effort to encourage and strengthen your wives' commitment and your children's commitment in living this way of life? Do you do all that you can to help to bring them and point them as well towards the Kingdom of God? As husbands and fathers, that's indeed what we should be doing. It's what the wives should be doing as well. Because they play that supporting role. They back up their husband, and they care, and they nurture for the children. Wives as well need to be pointing their children and strengthening them in the pursuit of this way of life. Our focus should be on bringing our families along with us on the journey to the Kingdom of God. To sacrifice for one another, to serve one another, to strengthen each other, and lift each other up towards that end. That needs to be the primary focus of how we live our life within our family structure. If your family is struggling, if you're having difficulties in your marriage, if you're having difficulties within the members of your family, I encourage you, please do not ignore it. Seek help. Talk to a minister. Go see a professional counselor. Seek out a mentor. Search for somebody who has actually been successful in their relationships. You know, you don't want to go get financial advice from somebody that has declared bankruptcy three times, right? You want advice from people with solid marriages and solid families. What works? I'm having trouble. What can I do? Please help. There's years and years of experience right here in this room. People that have raised their families in the church. Brethren, seek help. Get guidance. Strengthen those relationships. We live in a disposable throwaway to society. You know, so often we buy something, it breaks, we throw it away. Don't ever let that mentality enter your relationships. It can never enter our thought processes towards our husband, towards our wife. You know, once upon a time, things used to be not made in a certain country. They used to be quite expensive. And if they broke, you took it apart, found out what was wrong, and you fixed it. You carried on. That's what we need to do in our relationships. If there's a problem, you need to take it apart, find the root of the problem, and fix it. It's not always easy, but it is something that we must do with God's help.

Brethren, we also live in a world where the God-instituted family union, as I said, is under direct assault. The front lines for that battle actually land right here in the Church of God. Because this is where God is bringing His family. This is where God is growing this institution of the family of God, right here within the walls of our congregation and our assembly. God's family is worth fighting for. God Himself is fighting for His family. How much more ought we? Brethren, our marriages are worth fighting for. Our families, our children, are worth fighting for. And our relationships within the Church of God are worth fighting for. Again, the question is, how committed are we? How willing are we to demonstrate the family relationship in our lives today? Church activities, such as we're having, are intended to be fun, exciting. They generate activities that can all function together. But, again, the end goal of that is to bring us together as a family, to strengthen those relationships, to give us opportunity to grow and to be connected more firmly with one another. Brethren, God is building His family. He's placed us within the family structure so that we can understand what it is that He is doing, so that we can then turn and reflect that in our family relationships as well. Let us never forget the vision that we must have before us at all times of the eternal family of God, what it is that He is creating. And, brethren, let us never forget in our personal relationships today that family really does matter.