Functional Misfits

When I was 14, I went into some deep woods, and I discovered an old road system. Nobody living on it. Just an old road system where an entire community had once lived. And it was fascinating to go up and down roads and what once were driveways. No houses there anymore. But on this old road system, I discovered a fair-sized cemetery. People buried, reaching back into the 1800s and all. It was a typical cemetery, except for one thing. You know how most cemeteries you go into them, and all the graves are laid out pointing in the same direction. They all run parallel. They're lined up. This cemetery was that way, too, except for one thing. Right there, in a very prominent position towards the front of this cemetery, was a grave that was crosswise to all the other graves in the cemetery. The only one that was crosswise to all of them. I asked my grandfather about it because I figured he would know something about that old community back in there. And he did. He said the story was that the man that was buried there had lived crosswise with the community all of his life. And his request was that when he died, he'd be buried crosswise to everyone else. Now, I don't know if that was actual or not, but there was some reason why he was buried crosswise.

Let me kind of touch back on what I covered two weeks ago. How do you fit into a society that is loving and promoting evil more and more? That champions the things and forces that are destroying the fabric of the family. I mean, I've watched the family just be being destroyed now for a long time and it's ongoing. When you say godly values and family values being destroyed, which means any future for the nation. How do you feel an identity with a society that way? How do you feel a tolerance or an acceptance for such? How do you truly fit in your actions or your lifestyle? How do you? How do you not feel out of place? How do you not feel like you're a misfit? How does it feel living in the midst of a society that's filling up with fools and idiots, connivers, corruptors and compromises? Because, sadly, that element is becoming more and more the majority of our society. How does it feel to live in a society that's moving further and further away from the views and values of God? You know, I've said do a simple little exercise, go to the mall or go to Walmart and just sit and just watch. Get yourself a cup of coffee and just sit there and watch. It's obvious that more and more those who you would consider normal are increasingly out of place. And again, the more society slides and the more you hold your ground, the more of a living indictment you become to evil. You stand out. Your light shows up. And if you're going to live God's way, there is no way to truly fit in. Because the world does not know us. It does not want what is reflected in true light from God through you. They do not. They don't truly understand. They don't truly relate. They may or may not tolerate. And I think if you gave us some thought, you know, what I talked about about misfitting, there are different levels of misfitting, obviously. I'm not fitting in. When is it to our credit to fit in and when is it to our discredit to fit in? You know, part of the growth process, part of the growth need is to learn how to function wisely. This is part of the growth we all need to learn how to function wisely in this age, in this society. We're not of the world. I want to turn to John 17.

John 17. John 17.

Verses 14-16. 17. Chapter 17, verses 14-16. Christ, in this prayer, on that last night on earth, is flesh and blood, living flesh and blood. He says, I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because... And this is something that's germane to God's people at any time during this age of man. They are not of the world. Even as I am not of the world.

I pray not that you should take them out of the world, but that you should keep them from the evil. Don't want them to get absorbed into the evil, or the evil to be absorbed by them. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. But again, you and I have to live in the world, and we have to function in the world.

Again, verse 15, I pray not that you should take them out of the world. This is one of the reasons why it's never of God for someone to say, Well, I am going to obey God. I am just going to find a cave. I am just going to go find a secluded hidden place and hide away, and just me and God. I am just going to pull out of everything.

I am going to pull out of all relationships. I am going to pull out of the family, pull out of friends, pull out of everything, and just seclude myself away. I am going to get away from the world in every sense of the word. No. Christ said, I pray not that you should take them out of the world, but that you should keep them from the evil. If we understand what part of our calling is, we have to be in the midst. That's part of it. But in the midst, we have to be functional versus dysfunctional. We are here today, well, so-and-so is in a dysfunctional family.

Such-and-such is dysfunctional. It's not really functional. Well, you and I have to be functional versus dysfunctional, and that challenge grows greater and greater as society degenerates further downhill. But we have to be functional in a way that remains godly. That remains godly.

We have to be and remain godly misfits. If I become an ungodly misfit, that doesn't please God. It displeases Him. It doesn't serve Him or anybody. We have to be godly misfits. We have to be functional misfits versus dysfunctional misfits. We have to be God's functional misfits. God's discrete misfits. God's wise misfits. God's functional misfits.

Two weeks ago, I spoke on godly misfits. Today, I want to speak about functional misfits. How functional are you as a misfit? Are you a functional, godly misfit? But those two words, functional misfits, will serve as a title. Functional misfits. Regarding being God's functional misfits. There are three issues or three areas that have to be looked at and considered. Two of these are ditches.

Ditches as in, in the ditch. He's in the ditch. That's in the ditch. The third is on the road where we should be. So let's deal with the first one. The first one, the first ditch, is compromise.

Common word. Easily understood. Compromise. That's the first ditch. Is there a need to fit in? Well, sure there is. I mean, that's what drives compromise. Think about it. There's a need to fit in. There's kind of a basic human need to fit in. I mean, look at what drives the fads. The fads, the styles, the customs. The compunction to fit in. Why is it that you can see something that's about as dumb and stupid as it gets? You know, guys thinking it's cool to wear their pants halfway off their heels to show you what boxers they've got on. Never stopping to think how that started out in prison.

But if you do it, others see it, oh, that's cool. They start doing it pretty soon. It's a fad. Of course, you can mention any number of fads. Styles, fads, customs. The compunction to fit in. And you look at how the peer pressure of society drives many to do what they do with their minds and their bodies in order to fit in.

I want to fit in. You know, most people, the average person, cannot handle being a misfit to those around them, to society. Again, this is what drives people to fall in with the crowd, to fall in. That's comfortable. Most people cannot handle being, you know, a misfit to those around them. People do desire to fit in, and up to a point, there's nothing wrong with that.

That particular drive can be put to a wonderful use in the world tomorrow when the peer pressure is all positive. When it's all positive, the flow is all positive. But that desire to fit in, that desire to be alone, no one wanting to be ostracized, no one wanting to be left out, nobody wanting to be viewed as a weirdo or oddball.

Of course, you have to kind of qualify that in our day and time because some people go out of their way to be weird. They go out of their way to be an oddball, and it's obvious. But basically, nobody wants to be singled out for unwanted scrutiny or attention. And most people in general don't like to make waves, they don't like to rock the boat, they don't like to stir the waters, as we say.

It's kind of like the old man on his deathbed. When the preacher said to him, I almost like giving him the last rites, and he tells the old man on his deathbed, who's about to die, he says, renounce the devil. And the old man looks up and fabley says, I'm in no shape to get anybody mad at me. When you don't fit in, the temptation is to compromise.

No one wants to be thought of negatively. I mean, again, especially to those that one cares about. Think about it. The ones you care about are the last ones on earth that you want to think badly of you. But if you totally blend in with those who know you, family, friends, and coworkers, and nothing stands out different about you, then you have to be in some way failing to follow God. You think about it.

If you have been called, and you know the truth, and nothing about you stands out different whatsoever, then you must be failing because if you were following God in the way you really need to be, you cannot hide the light and something will show different. But notice Luke 6, 26. Luke 6, 26.

Christ said, Woe to you when all men shall speak well of you, for so did they their fathers to the false prophets. Again, talking about compromise, talking about the issue that as things slip and slide away from God more and more, and you hold your ground, you cannot help but stand out to a degree. And if you are really holding your ground in the proper way, and you therefore are not standing out, not all men are going to speak well of you. There's a problem, it says, Christ says here, when all men shall speak well of you, for so did their fathers to the false prophets. Now, if the praise of men is what a person wants, if the praise of people is what a person wants, if a person thrives on the praise of men, then that person will compromise. We have all known people just in our lives, in school, wherever, who thrived on praise. And because they did, they would compromise in order to have that praise and not have criticism or judgment. How is it possible that if one truly puts God first, as Matthew 22 tells us, how is it possible that one truly seeks God's kingdom and His righteousness first and foremost, and still fits in the world around them as they always have, the same way with no change? It is not possible. It's not possible. And God addresses it. I know we've used the word compromise many times over the years with Revelation 3, 15 and 16. That final message to the church, we have taken from that, that one of the meanings when God says there in that final message, in Revelation 3, 15, I know your works, that you're neither cold nor hot, I would that you were cold or hot. You know, if you're drinking a glass of iced tea, you want it cold. You don't want it tepid. If you're drinking a cup of coffee, you want it hot. You don't want it tepid. And He says, you're neither cold nor hot, I would you were cold or hot. So then because you're lukewarm and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of my mouth. And we've taken, one of the meanings we've taken out of that is the issue, and obviously it's accurate and it's correct, compromising, not holding the ground, slip-sliding away as the old song goes. Turn with me to Proverbs 23, 23, and this is an easy one to remember, 23, 23, Proverbs 23, 23.

I know how we have typically read this over the years, and the way we've read it is fine, but I want to expand upon how we have often read it.

We've talked about, as far as a church, and doing the work of going forth, and freely offering the literature, freely offering our materials, and rightly so. And we've used this as one of our reasons, by the truth and sell it not. By the truth and sell it not.

But again, I'd like to expand on it, take those two phrases, buy the truth and sell it not.

This Scripture also can have to do with don't compromise.

And on this, buy the truth, translate that as pay the price. You're going to buy the truth, pay the price. If you're buying it, you're paying it. Pay the price. Whatever it takes, pay the price for the truth. Pay the price to have the truth. Whatever you have to do to have the truth, keep the truth, maintain the truth, you pay the price. Sacrifice whatever. Pay the price. Sell it not, don't sell out. Don't sell out. Pay the price and don't sell out. That is the Scripture that counters compromise. Because if you won't pay the price, or if you pay the price and then you sell out, that's compromise. But pay the price and don't sell out, that's refusing to compromise. Now, that's one ditch.

I said there are two ditches.

And being functional misfits, we don't want to compromise.

Because that's a ditch. Well, the second ditch that we don't want to find ourselves in is contention.

Contention.

Have you ever known someone who just seemed to go out of their way to be different, to be difficult, to be crosswise? They just seemed to take pleasure in. They just seemed to glory in being crosswise with others. That crosswise grave in that old Mitchell Cemetery, I have a big question mark on it. Now, I hate he or she. A lot of the stones that were sold, and with the stones that the tombstones were cut from, were not readily legible anymore, on a lot of them. I don't know if it was a man or a woman. I think it was a man, according to what my grandfather told me. But could he have been a first fruit and just been crosswise in the community, the way everybody saw him? That's possible. I don't think he was, probably. I think he was just an unrecus and crosswise with everybody, and evidently probably gloried in it, and wanted to be sure he was buried that way. But someday we'll know. In that general resurrection, we're going to find out why his grave was put there crosswise to all the others. But there are some people who do glory in arguing. They just love a good argument. They love to debate. They glory in conflicts and confrontation. There are people like that. And I've known sometimes people, a few here and there, in the church. They were like that. And that's not of God. That's not of God. They create situations. That's not of God. Why be in someone's face when it's not necessary?

Some go out of their way to a fault to be different. And again, there's nothing godly about that. They are ungodly misfits, and they're making themselves so. Notice what Peter had to say about it. In 1 Peter 2, 20, 1 Peter 2, verse 20, Peter said, For what glory is it, if when you be buffeted, knocked about, for your faults? You had it coming. It's because of your faults that you're getting knocked around. You shall take it patiently. There's no brownie points, gold stars for that. But if when you do well, and you suffer for it, you take it patiently, well then that's acceptable with God. See, let your difference be due to doing the right and godly thing. And if I flip over the page to chapter 3, in verse 14, chapter 3, verse 14, But, and if you suffer for righteousness' sake, you're not getting knocked about because you're just doing dumb, stupid, and wrong things. You're being at fault, and so you're catching it because you're being at fault. There's no glory in that. There's no credit to you. But you had it coming. But, and if you suffer for righteousness' sake, happy are you. There's a major difference. You'll find, and what I found is, if I properly stand up for what's right, the right time and place, proportion, and all that, I get more than enough to have to deal with. I don't have to go looking for trouble. I have all the challenge I need and can handle. Be different. Be a godly misfit for doing the right thing the right way. But seeking, and some people do, seeking and provoking contention, seeking and provoking contention and confrontation, that's not God's way. Notice Romans 14, verse 19.

And again, I know that this is a very timely subject. Two weeks ago, very timely. That, and today, very timely. Because this time of the year, more than any other time of the year, presents us our greatest challenges with these issues. I mean, there's challenges all year long, but never highlighted to the degree they are at this time.

Romans 14 and verse 19.

Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace. Now, I realize some could say, well, we need to apply that within the church, in-house. Well, sure we do, but does that mean that we shouldn't apply it outside the house, the church also? You know, the statement stands on its own. Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace. And if we were to think that, well, it doesn't apply so much outside the church with the world around us, we'll look at Romans 12 verse 18.

Romans 12 verse 18 makes it pretty comprehensive. It says, if it be possible, because it's not always possible. There's some people, some situations you just have to walk away from. You just have to put distance. But it says, if it be possible, as much as lies in you, live peaceably with all men. Live peaceably with all men. I desire peace and quietness. I seek peace, certainly to the degree that it is possible. Verse this contention, which I don't like, conflict, which I don't like, confrontation, which I don't like. And that's God's way to seek peace to the degree that it's possible, and to avoid contention and conflict and confrontation to the degree that we can.

That's God's way. There's nothing wrong with that. And that's what he expects that of us. There is a time and place to take a stand and let the chips fall where they will. Back in 2015, the summer of 2015, June the 26th, when the Supreme Court of the land legalized, made it the law of the land, homosexual marriage, the church took a stand.

I mean, we already had a stand, but we put it in formal writing. On July the 1st, 2015, we issued a statement, Council of Elders' statement on marriage. I'm just going to read the third. There's three paragraphs, and I'm just going to read the last one, the third one. It says, any attempt to redefine marriage, other than between a man and a woman by law, or judicial decree of any nation, cannot be recognized as incumbent upon human beings. The Apostle Peter's words give God's inspired instruction in such matters. We must obey God rather than men.

Acts 5, 29, NIV. Christians are explicitly instructed by Scripture to fully honor governmental persons, laws, and authority other than when man's law conflicts with the law. The laws of the Supreme Court of Heaven. Romans 13, 1. Therefore, we honor and abide within the design and intent of the God-given marital relationship between a man and a woman while seeking to live at peace with all people. You know, we establish our stand formally in print. And again, as the society moves further and further away from that, we stand out more and more. It's like this pulpit here. This should be a place of truth. It should be a place of light. It should be a place of truth.

Any of us who get in this pulpit to speak, get up here at this lectern in this pulpit, here, Gadsden, Chattanooga, any of God's congregations, wherever God's congregations are, this should be truth-spoken. We should do our best to speak sound doctrine and truth. And that calls many times for plain speaking. It just simply calls for telling the truth as it is in God's Word.

And when it is a time and a place to take a stand, there is a right and best way to do it. But don't unnecessarily make yourself a misfit by doing the unwise or the ungodly thing. So, number one, the first ditch was compromised. The second ditch is contention. Two ditches, one on each side of the road. And I've known people that were over here in this ditch. And eventually, they came out of this ditch. And you know what they did? In some cases, they came out of this ditch and crossed the road and got in that ditch.

Because they were ditches, and they were just comfortable in the ditch. But they didn't recognize the middle of the road when they crossed it. It was not comfortable territory for them. Neither is godly. The ditches aren't godly. So that leads me up onto the road, the middle with the third issue or area. Number three, discretion. Not compromise, not contention, but discretion. Proverbs 2.11 Very important proverb. Discretion shall preserve you. You could add to that, understanding shall keep you. But think about what a powerful statement that is when it says, discretion shall preserve you.

See, a lot of contention can be avoided by using a little discretion. Do you have...it's rhetorical because I know that it's coming to this life. Do you have already enough contention in your life? Do you have enough things you have to contend with? Would you like more? We all have to contend with something. We all have contentions that come that are unavoidable that we have to deal with. Why ask for more and seek more when you don't have to? Read with me Matthew 10.16, and keep in mind, discretion shall preserve you. And let's read Matthew 10.16.

Christ said, Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves. We did the mental picture. We put this image in our minds two weeks ago. Picture a pack of wolves, a dozen wolves or more, and sprinkled in between those fairy bodies with long claws and long fangs, the white fleece of several sheep. It doesn't mix in nature. It doesn't work. It's a totally misfitting situation. You won't see it like that in a pasture, a hillside. You might see wolves chasing the sheep and slaughtering them in the white, turning to red, but you won't see sheep grazing in the midst of a pack of wolves that they're sprinkled in a mug. But Christ is saying, that's the situation you're in. I am sending you forth as though you are sheep in the midst of wolves. Now, what are you expected to do if you're sheep going to be in the midst of wolves? He says, be there for wise. Discrete, discretion, be wise as serpents, and harmless as doves, but be wise. How can sheep survive in the midst of wolves unless they are very wise? Now, we also looked at scriptures. I won't turn to them about how we're in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation.

About how that Paul warned Timothy that in the latter days there would be those despisers of those that are good. And Isaiah, he that departs from evil, makes himself a prey. Sheep are a prey in the midst of wolves. And our visual, our auditory, our touch, connections in this world is with other human beings. But there's something we can't touch. There's something we can't see. There's something we can't hear that is sprinkled all throughout the human race. It's the fallen angels and their power that permeates and that affects and does. So wisdom again is very important. Living in the midst of a hostile environment that's growing in greater and greater hostility than things of God. Well, obviously, it behooves us more and more to exercise what discretion is. You know, there's a saying that says, pick your battles. Pick your battles. Some things you can afford to let slide, and it's not compromised, but pick your battles. We talk about taking a stand. We talk about knowing when to stand up and when to shut up. How'd you get that black eye? Well, he said shut up, and I thought he said stand up. I mean, I heard that saying back when I was a kid in school.

It's very important to clearly understand what a situation is and respond accordingly to it. And if you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, it's the hit dog that barks. Have you ever noticed that? It's interesting. Luke 11, it's just a little interesting by play here where Christ is kind of castigating the Pharisees. Just kind of a humorous side light. Like I said, you throw a rock into a pack of dogs and the hit dog barks. In Luke 11, Christ is castigating the Pharisees here. You come down into the verses in the forties here. And he says in verse 45, let's just say verse 44, "'Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, if your friends are not, and the men that walk over them are not aware of them.' Sir, the rabbi, Master, verse 45, then answered one of the lawyers and said to him, Master, thus saying, you reproach us also. He'd have been best to keep his hand down and keep his head down, because Christ just turned and was like, woe to you also, you lawyers. The guy didn't know when to keep his mouth shut. You think about it. Sometimes laying low is the better part of discretion. It's Halloween. It's time when the kids are going to be going out and trick-or-treating. Should they be doing what they're doing? No. Should the parents be promoting that? No. Is it of God? No. Are you going to get them all to quit doing it? No.

You know, being discreet means turning your porch light off, and maybe even turning off some lights inside at the front of the house, so it's obvious you're not home. And turning off the porch light has become a universal signal that you're not participating. So you don't generally have to worry about kids, parents and kids coming up to your front door. Get the lights off. Yeah. I know that, but I want to tell them the truth. I'm going to leave my porch light on. I want them coming up to my door, because I'm going to straighten them out. I'm going to tell them how wrong it is, where it came from. I'm going to try to make them captive audience and keep them as close, you know, there till I run it all by them. I don't care if the parents get mad. I'm going to tell them the truth about Halloween. Okay. You think you're going to convince them? You think they're going to quit doing it? Hmm. And who knows what the aftermath is? First of all, you're not going to accomplish anything with them. They're not interested in quit doing what they're doing. They're interested in doing what they're doing. And you might find a few surprises around your place later. And if you're really abrasive enough, those little kids become teenagers eventually. And they do have very sharp and long memories about that old cotter that lives there, or that old woman that lives over there that was mean to us. Interesting. Seeking peace as much as possible. Halloween, we make sure our porch light is off. And we don't have anybody come knocking on the door. Seeking peace as much as possible versus throwing all caution to the wind and borrowing trouble that you don't have to have. Talk about borrowing trouble. Proverbs 26, 17.

Proverbs 26, and verse 17, it says, He that passes by and meddles with strife, belonging not to him. It's not his affair. It's not his business. He's passing by and he gets involved with strife that doesn't belong to him. It's like one that takes a dog by the ears. Taking a dog by the ears is going to get bit or were smalled.

We've heard sayings like, Let a sleeping dog lie. Don't go turning over stones. Don't rock boats. Don't rattle cages. Don't stir the waters. In some situations, you simply don't have to step into and you shouldn't. One of the most righteous kings of Judah came to the throne at age 8.

Obviously, he had to be mentored. He really started taking some action around age 16. You probably know who I'm talking about. Josiah. He says this of Josiah in 2 Kings 23 verse 25. It says this about Josiah. 2 Kings 23 verse 25. You don't have to turn there.

It says this about him, Like unto him was there no king before him that turned to the Lord with all his heart, and with all his soul, and with all his might, according to all the law of Moses, neither after him arose there any like him. King Josiah, righteous king. The people rejoiced.

He's young. His whole life's ahead of him. We will have pleasant times, good times, good times for the nation for a long time. He meddled in business that wasn't his own. Pharaoh Niko went to Karkamesh on the Euphrates to fight the Assyrians. Josiah went out to meet him as he was on his way. Niko told him, go back. This is none of your business. This is of God. You just stay back. And Josiah didn't listen. He went against him anyway, and he took an arrow. And it killed him. He died because he meddled in a situation he didn't have to.

He did not use discretion. A very powerful example of that. You can search it out and read about Josiah if you want to. It's all there. Borrowing trouble, asking for trouble. Hezekiah was intervened for by God. Again, another righteous king. Hezekiah was given 15 extra years of life. Babylon sent ambassadors to see Hezekiah. Hezekiah took them to his treasure, to his treasure house, so to speak, his treasure rooms. He showed them all of his treasures. God sent Isaiah to say, what have you done? And Isaiah told him that the day would come when all of that would be hauled off to Babylon. He didn't use wisdom.

He didn't use discretion. Borrowing trouble, asking for trouble. See, with the truth, you don't just volunteer the truth and throw it out there indiscriminately. Christ said that Himself in Matthew 7, 6. Now, what are we supposed to take out of this other than one of the core issues of, you don't borrow trouble, you don't ask for trouble, you don't just volunteer the truth, you don't just throw it out there indiscriminately.

Christ said, give not, verse 6, chapter 7, Matthew, give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast you, your pearls, before swine. Now, He's not saying people are dogs. He's not saying people are swine. He's using an analogy to make a point. If you were to go out and give something holy to the dogs, they're not going to appreciate it. If you were to take your pearls and put them before a swine, it's just going to bury them up in the mud.

It's not going to appreciate it. I had an uncle who had a Bible, and he had really marked it up wonderfully. Put no telling how many hours and hours and hours and hours and hours in it. He got in from services one day and sitting on his porch reading his Bible, and he decided that he would go inside and get a glass of iced tea, so he just laid the Bible in the porch swing and went inside to get the iced tea. I think he might have got on the phone while he was in there, but it was just not too long before he came back out again.

His Bible was no longer on the porch swing. That Bible he invested so much time in, that Bible was over there, some was over there, some was over there. There were leaves of the Bible blowing all over the front yard, because his dog had gotten it and shredded it. And he was one sick individual. That dog didn't appreciate the Bible. And it's a lot like that with people not appreciating the truth. There is time, and there is place, and there is proportion. At the end of December 1994, and into January 1995, over a stretch of three weeks that included Christmas and New Year's, I took my mother to a cancer clinic, Hospital in Tijuana, Mexico, across from San Diego, California.

She financed it, but she couldn't go unless somebody took her. I'm the oldest. I took her. Mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer in 1988. She had had a mastectomy. There was reason to believe that the cancer had come back and metastasized. And, of course, down there we found out that it had an inter-bones.

But they had special treatments, especially lateral. For three weeks that included the holiday season, we lived in the hospital. That's where we lived. Cafeteria was in the hospital, everything, but that's where we lived, along with many others who were there for treatment. We lived in constant, close proximity. We were constantly meeting. We were constantly eating breakfast, lunch, dinner, dinner, and dinner.

There were a number who asked me, What do you do? I did not tell them. I told them, I said, When you leave, or I leave, I will tell you what I do. I was there for Mom. It was about her. It was a very difficult time for her. I needed to put the focus on her. We did not need distractions or trouble that we didn't have to have. Exercising discretion was the right thing to do. Without them knowing what I did, and either knowing if I knew what I did, either being uncomfortable around me, because it really makes some people uncomfortable, or wanting to engage me in debates and arguments.

Instead of having that, we had a warm and friendly relationship. We did have the common ground of cancer, loved ones there for treatment, and I kept my word. When those who had asked me what I did were leaving, as they were getting on the van to leave, there were a number of them, I told them, and they didn't believe me.

They said, oh, come on. I told them, I said, you guess, guess, what do you think I am? One said a prison warden. I kid you not. Another one said, no, maybe, but you're a state trooper. No. I said, I'm a pastor, a minister. Oh, no! Because I didn't fit their mode of what a sanctimonious, religious, preachy pastor is. Too many times. Anyway, I was a functional misfit. I was a discreet misfit. I kept God first in my life, honored and loved my mother, and exercised discretion.

And in fact, exercising discretion allowed me to honor and love her. We were in a close and closed situation for three weeks, and how I exercised myself would determine to a great degree what kind of atmosphere would surround us while we were there. And it was definitely a time and place to exercise Christ's warning and caution of Matthew 7, verse 6. I honored God. I honored my mother. I befriended the people. We had no enemies. We had peace. Proverbs 16, and it was over Christmas. They noticed we didn't come down and participate in the Christmas stuff. There was Christmas stuff going on. Now, we stayed in our room. They noticed we weren't there. They noticed that we weren't in on the celebrating. Proverbs 16, 7.

We had peace.

When a man's ways pleased the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him. That was one case of it. We had God's blessing. Sometimes you can soften situations by what you do. By what you do, I remember walking into a hospital room. Another time, another place, with an elderly woman on her deathbed, with her six big strapping suns ringed around her bed. It was a bitter cold winter night on the Kansas plains. I had driven 200 miles one way on black ice much of that way, and they knew it.

Nobody should be out in the weather. They appreciated it, and it meant a lot to them. Their mother was in the church. They were not. It spoke volumes to them, and it generated a receptivity that was very valuable. And I knew, too, that it would be the last time that I would get to see her until the resurrection. Funerals are captive audiences. You can either comfort or you can confront. Truth, when I do a funeral, truth will be spoken, and there's a way that it can be done palatably.

I comfort. I don't confront. I always do my best to do it that way. After I preached her funeral, a local preacher came up to me, and he said, and I didn't say a single thing in the funeral that was a lie. I spoke the truth, but I put it in a way that was appreciated. A local preacher came up, and he said, I really appreciate the service and what you said.

He said, a number of years ago, a preacher from your church preached a funeral here in this building, and it was awful. Functional misfits, knowing what to say, knowing how much to say, knowing when to say, knowing what not to say. And it's like funerals. Regarding funerals, not everything said is going to set well with everyone present.

I was doing one funeral, just started getting into it, just started turning to some Scripture, just getting into it, and a couple, a woman and a man, at the back, the front door was right over here, and the building was full. They didn't like what I was saying. They walked up the aisle and went out the door. Not everything said is going to set well with everyone, but there's still the need to apply certain discretions. Proverbs 25, 11, we don't have to turn there. There is one or two here I do want to turn to.

These here I lay out. Proverbs 25, verse 11, says, A word fitly spoken, a word fitly spoken, so valuable, a word that fits, a fitting word. Colossians 4, and I will turn there and read this, Colossians 4, in verse 6, Paul said, Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt.

It means palatable that you may know how you ought to answer every man. Now, you think about that. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer every man. I think of Ephesians 4, 15, about speaking the truth in love. The truth should never be spoken as a battering ram. When you try to just batter somebody's door down with an actual battering ram, what do they do? They put up more stuff behind the door to try to keep you from breaking through. We call it getting defensive. It should never be used as a war club, just for beating people over the head with it.

That's part of what I take from Ephesians 4, 15. It's not all, but it's part. Proverbs 15, 1 talks about a soft answer turns away wrath. Proverbs 15, 1. Fitting, seasoned in love, soft, softly spoken in love, seasoned with salt. Softly spoken in love, seasoned with salt. To do that, it takes giving us some real focused thought and attention. It really takes studying on it. If you add the verse, verse 28, in Proverbs 15, it talks about the righteous studies to answer ways how they would say stuff.

I remember when the day came, I was just very young. I remember when the day came that I was there with Dad, and he was with his mother. We were up at my grandmother's, and Dad, he called her mother. That's all I ever heard him call her, was mother. He said, Mother, and he said it very softly and very gently. He said, Mother, we really enjoy eating up here, but we can't anymore. Because she had noticed that it had been quite a while since we had actually had a meal with him up there, and that was out of pattern.

We had stopped that pattern. He said, Mother, we don't eat pork anymore. Not that we ever ate it at the house. Dad had grown up eating it. But he said, We don't eat pork anymore, and you cook with lard, and we don't expect you not to. You know what she said to him?

She said, Bill, we want you to eat with us. We'll buy some Crisco and keep it, and when you come, we'll cook with that. Mother, you cooked with that stinking lard, and we're just not going to put up with it, so we're not here. It's been a totally different response and reaction, and Dad would have been wrong. He did it, actually, whether he knew all the scriptures at the time or not, he did it the right way.

Softly spoken, seasoned with salt. I knew two teenage brothers. Their uncle came by and said, Do you want to go with me to a basketball game? It was about 20 miles away. They had to go to him. Oh, yeah, yeah, they all loved basketball. He jumped in with him, he took off, and then they realized he is flat drunk.

They had 20 miles on the highway with him, and him drunk. And I mean bad drunk. They got down to the basketball game, and they're thinking, there's no way we're riding back with him in that car, but we've got to get home.

It's 20 miles back home. And they knew, they couldn't say, I'll put it this way, they knew how to accomplish what had to be accomplished. One of them said to him, because they said, Uncle, boy, how does this car drive? I mean, it really drives good.

Can I drive it home? Oh, yeah, sure, here's the keys. And one of the brothers drove them back home. If the brother had said, Uncle, you are staggering drunk, there's no way you're driving this car back. Huh? It's my car. You'll see. I never got any keys from him. But hey, can I drive it? Boy, this is fun to drive it. Can I drive it? Oh, yeah. Handed the keys and softly spoken, seasoned with salt.

What if you're at a place? I did a funeral, graveside, over in Missouri. There was a little course country church beside it. And they said, look, come over and have a bite to eat. They said, we'd put out a spread of food for everybody, which is really a nice gesture on their part, obviously. I said, well, I'm not going to be able to stay because I've got other commitments. It was shortly before the feast, and I had to get going. They said, well, come over and ask the blessing on it.

Okay. I go over, and obviously, there's some good clean items on the tables, and there's some ham on the tables. There's some pork chops. You know, there's various things. Now, what do I do? Hmm. Look, I'm sorry. I can't ask God's blessing on this because that right over there is unclean, and that's unclean, and that's unclean. I can't ask God to be involved with that. You have to get somebody else, probably from your own belief, to ask the blessing. Or, I could have a prayer of blessing on the food and make it a long one and give a sermonette on clean verses on flea.

No, it's very simple. Now, by your heads, I ask God to bless the food. God doesn't see a pig as human food. God doesn't see a catfish as human food. God doesn't see a pork chop because He never created those critters for human food. So, when you say food, now humans may take it and make it food, but when you say food, you're praying to God. God, please bless the food, or if you want to add to it, please bless that which you have intended for our use, however you want to word it. But you can just say food because in God's eyes, the chicken, the turkey, the green beans, unseasoned, etc., etc., that's food.

And again, and that's what I did. Food being the operative word, knowing that in God's sight, the only things on those tables that He considers human food is what He created as human food. And I've said, you know, at this time of the year, I guarantee you, one of the bank tellers, as we get closer to Christmas, or after Christmas, is going to say to me before, you're doing anything different this year for Christmas than you did last year? Nope. Same thing. Or afterwards, how was your Christmas? Same as last year. You want to ask me one year, is your church doing anything different this year? Nope. Doing the same thing. It's not a lie.

And they're usually just making conversation. And again, if you've got three or four people behind you, they don't want you to get to chit-chatting too much because they've got business news. They want to do their business and move on. Now again, if one of them said you're a minister, right? Well, yeah. I'd like to talk with you sometime about Christmas and its origins and all. Would that be okay? Sure it would. We can arrange a time, place to meet, and we'll talk. Obviously. Wouldn't shy away from that. The word fitly spoken is so, so important.

I'll wrap this up. One other thing.

There was a lady in the church. Her husband wasn't. And he was giving her a lot of trouble. She went to the feast. He was beginning to soften and mellow a little bit. He went to the feast with her. They had two kids. At the feast, during the feast, they, as a family, this woman who was in the church, and her husband who wasn't, who was beginning to soften and mellow a little bit, the kids, they went out with two ladies from the congregation that were from the same congregation. And at the meal, one of those two ladies looked over at the guy and said something like this, You'll be a part of us. It's just a matter of time. Totally turned him off. And he became more hostile than ever to his wife. Just because they didn't use discretion. And I've known some people over the years where, if I were around them, I'd just cringe because, if there was a third party, because I never knew what this person was going to say to whoever might come up or be around.

As Godly misfits, to be Godly misfits, we have to learn to be functional misfits. There's nothing godly about being dysfunctional. And being functional Godly misfits is to God's honor and to His glory, and to whatever measure of additional peace you and I may have.