Words of Encouragement

Just by way of explanation, I was going to sit in the front, and then I remembered that Sue would probably appreciate having a little hand with Connor, so I thought I'd dash back to the back. And that's okay. All that running back and forth jogged another memory. I forgot to put it in announcements, at least written down on what I had today, but we are on for the in-home Bible studies this week. At least that's what I had on the calendar, so as long as everything's clear, Carol's nodding at me, so that one's there. I don't see Lum and Joanne, so I might double-check with them. But as far as I know, we're on. I didn't print out extra copies of the discussion questions, but actually, I think we only got through half of the ones we had last time. So I made up questions for the next, like, three chapters, but I'll pass copies of those on to people if you need them.

Alright. Has anybody caught a little bit of the news lately? Is there some kind of an election coming up? I say that somewhat in jest. With the presidential campaign, it's funny, it's not until November, but it seems like it's been going on for months and months already, at least for the Republicans. And it's amazing how they all oppose the other party, but they attack each other so much. There have been ads that just seem vicious against each other.

And you wonder, will they really be able to join together in only a few months to run a united campaign against the other party? Well, then again, think back. Four years ago, we were going through this, and both parties had primaries.

And I had to stop and make myself remember, I believe Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton were doing similar things to each other, really criticizing each other and talking about how the other was so unqualified. And yet, he then gave her the top appointed position in his administration. Well, if we look back in history, not way, way back, but in 1980, I checked some of the history, similar thing happened.

The older George Bush, George H.W. Bush, said some vicious things about Ronald Reagan and his planned economic policies, called him voodoo economics, how bad he'd be for the country. But then, when Reagan got the nomination, George Bush consented to serve as his vice president for eight years.

So, they talked about each other, said bad things, and apparently patched things up. But then again, while I was looking into that, I found a story not totally substantiated, but some things are hard to substantiate. I said, eight years after that, Ross Perot had apparently taken offense at something that happened when that older George Bush was president.

And he didn't like what was said or done. They weren't willing to mend fences. So, he decided to run for president in 1992. And instead of coming together against a common foe, of course, they split, and we ended up with Bill Clinton for president for eight years. Now, you might think, okay, uncle's going on about politics and all that. Why would we care so much about politics when our politics should be the kingdom of God? We're focusing on that. We're not worried about being a Republican or Democrat. We're worried about being Christians. Well, it's not the politics that I care about.

It's the example of the talk, the message. It's the words. Words that hurt, but also words can heal. Can the same people do both? Well, the Bible seems to indicate that because of human nature, we can, and sometimes we do. Although it's not necessarily what we should do. If you will, let's turn with me to James 3. James is one of those relatively small books, but it's packed full of wisdom.

A lot of smart things in the book of James. James 3, and we'll begin in verse 8. James 3, in verse 8, says, No man contain the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who are made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth, proceed blessings and cursing.

And he says, My brethren, such these things ought not to be. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter at the same opening? Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring yields both saltwater and fresh. So this is showing that, yes, we're capable of words that hurt and words that heal.

But like a spring or a fig tree, God really wants us to do one and not the other. So the question for each of us, the question I have to ask myself, what will it be? Words that hurt or words that heal? Now leading into this, I have to confess, as I said, I talked about when I was in Y.O.U. back in Columbus.

I remember when I was younger, at some point in time, thinking, boy, it seems like every so often we get a sermon about gossip. Why are they talking about this so often? I understand it a little bit better now. Now that I'm serving in the ministry, I realize as a pastor it becomes your job to know about people's problems and struggles.

I'm glad to say when I was younger, I didn't know about a lot of people's problems and struggles. Somehow, if it was common knowledge, it slipped by me, and I'm glad. I didn't want to know. But I've come to better understand how words going back and forth can really be painful, sometimes really harmful. So today, I want to talk about the kind of talk that we should avoid, but I also want to focus on the kind of talk, the kind of words that we should have. We should share words of encouragement, words of healing. I might say, can words really heal? I'm going to address that in Scripture later. But just think, you remember, as kids, and I wonder if anybody here hasn't said this.

You say, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. Anybody not said that? I was just curious. I know I've said I've heard everybody say it. And then, as adults, we say, yeah, that's not true. We wish it were true. Now, I wonder if we were all closer to God and had more confidence in our relationship with Him, maybe they would be more true.

Let's look earlier on in the book we're already in, James 3, and let's look up to verse 2. It says, We all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body. Perfect, if you don't stumble in your words. Indeed, we put bits in horses' mouths that they may obey us, and we can turn their whole body with that little bit.

Look also at ships, though they're so large and driven by fierce winds, they're turned by a very small rudder, wherever the pilot desires. Even so, the tongue is a little member, and it boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles, and the tongue is a fire. It's a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body and sets on fire the course of nature and is set on fire by hell.

Those are pretty strong words. You might think, well, why is that so? They're just words.

Well, I think it's largely because we do tend to care what people say about us. We care about those words. There's the old saying, and you must have heard this one, it says, You always end up hurting the ones you love, or you only hurt the ones you love. I've thought about that and said, I'm not sure. I don't like the way it sounds like it's required. You have to hurt the ones you love. And if I could rephrase it, the way I would put it is, we're only able to hurt the ones that we love. We're able to hurt the ones that love us. We're able to hurt them because they do care about what we say. We're able to hurt the ones who love us. Now, just think, by way of example, let's say there's a fellow living in Bangladesh, and I've never met him, and I probably never will. Now, if he starts talking about me and says, oh, that Frank Dunkel is a no-good loser, can't sing worth anything, he trips and falls, I'd probably say, I don't care what some guy in Bangladesh says, I'm never going to meet him. But, I'll pick on a respected person. If Ralph Smith were to say, no, that Frank Dunkel is not much of a Christian, he's mean to his wife, he doesn't care about the brethren, well, that would hurt.

It would hurt because I care about what Mr. Smith thinks, and I know that people who I want to have them respect me would listen to what he says. And by the way, he hasn't said anything like that.

Mr. Smith is above that kind of thing, but I wanted to use him as a respected example. If he started saying things like that, people would listen, they would respect him, and it would hurt. Well, just think, you have that power over someone. There are people who care about what you think and care about the words you say, and so you're able to hurt them because they love you.

Let's go to Luke 17. Luke 17, and we'll read verses 1 and 2.

Matthew, Mark, Luke.

Now, this is part of Jesus' teaching to his disciples.

Then he said to the disciples, It's impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come. So they're going to come, but you don't want to be the one that causes them. For it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown out into seed, than that he should offend one of these little ones. Take heed to yourselves if your brother sins against you. Well, I was going to say, what if someone does do wrong then? What if someone causes offense? He says, If your brother offends against you, he's the one causing offense, rebuke him. And if he... Stop again. If he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day and seven times turns to you again and says, I repent, then forgive him. Forgive him all seven times.

Now, we can derive quite a bit from this pretty brief passage of Scripture. First thing, try not to be the one that causes those offenses.

He says, if offenses are going to come, you make sure it's not caused by you. Second, if someone else does something that's offensive to you, go talk to that person. But talk to that person. Not to anyone else. Certainly not to everyone else. And then, third, accept that person's repentance. If they say, yes, I'm sorry that I hurt you, don't write them off. Don't say, I'm not talking to you ever again or anything like that. I'm talking to you every time. Because consider what the opposite approach to this is. The opposite is demonstrated in Revelation 12. If we go there, Revelation 12, and we'll read in verse 10.

Here we read, I'm breaking into a thought to get at the point at the bottom of the Scripture. I heard a loud voice saying, In heaven now salvation and strength, and the kingdom of our God and the power of His Christ have come. For the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before God day and night, has been cast down. Now, it doesn't say who that is. In this verse, if you just look up one above, in verse 9, it says, That great dragon was cast out the serpent of old, called the devil and Satan. Satan is the one who accuses brethren. That's his way. He wants to rile up people against each other. Now, we have to face it. We all give him reason to accuse us. Every one of us sins. Now, we deserve our punishment. And Satan knows that. That's how he can get away with accusing us. But God wants to forgive. Satan accuses God forgives. And he'll forgive us at least seven times in a day, if we're willing to repent.

With that in mind, let's revisit the story in John chapter 8. John 8 will begin in second verse.

And by the way, I can't remember where I broke this, mentioned this when I was speaking in Athens this morning. As I said, it's common, and as a kid, I wonder why all these sermons about Goss have been talking about each other. And a lot of times I'd be saying, somebody out there doing this, I want to let you know I'm not addressing some big problem or even any problem in the congregation. This is something about how we deal with each other and how we cannot hurt each other and help each other. So I'm not saying that there is a problem, I'm not thinking somebody out there that I'm going to get you and you've got to change. I want to let you know, especially as we come towards the Passover, and it's a time when we want to be reconciled with our brothers, we want to think in these terms. So don't be thinking who out there has got the problem. That's not why I prepared this sermon. So keep that in mind. But let's go into John chapter 8 and read, starting in verse 2.

Now, early in the morning, he, that's Jesus, came into the temple, and all the people came to him. So a crowd came down and he sat down and he taught them. And then bursting into this meeting, then the scribes and the Pharisees brought to him a woman caught in adultery. And they sat her in the midst and they said, Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery in the very act. No disputing she did it. We caught her in the act.

Now, some have pointed out it's not my purpose here, but they only brought the woman, not the man. And if they were caught in the act, both of them should have been there. But they asked him, Now Moses and the law commanded us that such should be stoned, but what do you say? This they said testing him that they might have something to accuse him of. See, they were trying to catch him between two things because they were under Roman rule. The Roman authority was governing not the Old Testament law. So they, under the law of Moses, they didn't have the authority to put people to death.

So they knew if he said, Yeah, Moses is right, we should stoned her. They'd say, Well, you're against Caesar. You're trying to plot a rebellion against Rome. But if he said, No, we can't kill her. They'd say, Well, you're against Moses. You don't uphold the laws of the Bible. And they were trying to catch him one way or the other.

But Jesus kept his eye on the higher purpose. He had a different lesson to bring through rather than argue over how you obey either the law of God or the law of Caesar. So they were testing him that they might have something to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down and he rode on the ground with his finger, as though he didn't even hear them. We don't know what he wrote.

I've heard of a lot of speculations. But he must have wrote something that made them think long and hard. And they continued asking him. So he raised himself up and he looked at them and he said, Whoever among you is without sin, you throw the first stone.

And he, can he stoop down and started riding on the ground. And those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, started one by one going out, beginning with the oldest to even the last. So, as I said, whether it was because of what he wrote on the ground or just because he had said, If you're without sin, you be the first one to throw a stone. None of them was without sin, obviously.

And they left. And Jesus was left alone in the woman standing in the midst. It's interesting, he wasn't alone with her in the room. All those people that came to hear him teach were still there and they were waiting to see what he said. But she's the only one there and he stood up and he saw no one there but the woman.

He said, Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you? She said, No one, Lord. And he said, Well, neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more. So when it comes to talking about other people's challenges, problems, and sins, what more do we need to say?

Well, of course, you can't have a sermon that's only 20 minutes, so there is more to say, but this sums a lot of things up. We all have our own challenges, problems, and sins. I was thinking, should I come up with some more synonyms for sins? What's interesting, notice the woman in this story was guilty. It's not a question of, is she guilty or not? She was guilty. And Christ didn't say it's okay. He didn't say it's okay that you sinned. He told her, Go and sin no more. It was a sin and don't do it.

Now, we don't know how repentant was she. I make the presumption that she was repentant, but notice it's not demonstrated to us in Scripture. It doesn't say she was deeply repentant. As we sang Psalm 51, we know David was deeply repentant of his sin. Was she repentant? Well, she didn't have to demonstrate it to us. Only to Jesus. Because he was the one who was soon going to give his life for her sins.

I think there's a lesson in that for us. Jesus is the one who gave his life for my sins, and for yours and everyone else's. We know that. So, like the Pharisees, we're in no positions to throw stones at anyone. And they don't have to necessarily demonstrate the repentance to us. They do have to demonstrate it to God. We have to demonstrate ours to God.

And hopefully that'll show through to other people as well, but it's primarily showing it to God. So, since we're not in a position to throw stones, just like the Pharisees, I could ask the question. Why do we do it? Why do we talk about each other? Why do we accuse others? Let's turn to Proverbs 18. Proverbs 18, and we'll read verse 8.

We talked about how James is full of wisdom. And by the way, we're going to go back and forth and land back in Proverbs a few times. So, if it's convenient, we won't necessarily come back to this chapter, but we're going to come back to Proverbs. So, if you want to keep a marker in that area, it could be useful. Which tells me I should get there, too. Proverbs 18, verse 8 says, The words of a tailbearer are like tasty trifles. Tasty trifles sound like it could be a snack on the shelf at Kroger right now. That's something you'd want to buy. They, you know, listening to the words of a tailbearer feels good. It's like it tastes good, he's saying. But they go down into the inmost body. Yeah, it feels real good. It seems good. It's pleasurable. You know, getting the dirt on somebody or what's going on. But it's going to go down and it's going to affect you, down to your inmost being. You can't unhear something. The famous saying, you can't unring a bell. It's going to affect you. It's hard to get that out later. Let's turn a few pages to Proverbs chapter 26. But we'll notice here, he says, the words of a tailbearer. So the problem isn't just that there's somebody saying the words. There's also the problem that somebody's wanting to listen to the words. Because if you can remove either part of that equation, things start to calm down. Proverbs 26 and verse 20 demonstrates that. Where there's no wood, the fire goes out. I've demonstrated that a lot. I've started a lot of fires and have them go out if you don't feed them wood properly. And where there's no tailbearer, strife ceases. So just like when there's no wood, the fire goes out. If there's nobody sharing those words, passing on the story, the strife, the trouble, the hard feelings will go away. Because as charcoal is to burning coals and wood is to fire, so is a contentious man to kindle strife. And here he repeats what he said earlier. The words of a tailbearer are like tasty trifles. Now that's why the fire is not going out all the time. Because, as I said, it feels good, it tastes good. But they go down to the inmost body. Now you've heard all this before, but I want to make the point here that I did when we looked at the story of the woman in John chapter 8. This doesn't make a distinction over whether or not the tailbearer is telling you something that's true or not true. Whether or not something's true doesn't matter so much as, why are you talking about it? What is your motive here? And I thought by way of demonstration, I want to put on my history teacher mantle or cap. I never wore a cap when I was teaching history. I should have my coffee cup. When I gave a history lesson, I'd always walk around in back and forth of class.

Because I want to talk about a court trial that I think demonstrates this somewhat and change somewhat how our society does things. It was a very famous trial that affected a lot of people in New York City. So you might have heard about it if you were alive in the 1700s. This trial occurred in New York City in 1735. It was the trial of a printer by the name of John Peter Zenger. Z-E-N-G-E-R. Similar to Zenger's by Dolly Madison, but it's not at all similar to Zenger, who was a printer. I'm glad Ken thought it was funny, anyway. So anyways, the defendant, Zenger is the defendant. He was a printer. And he got in trouble because in his newspaper, he printed some essays about the governor. And these essays were not kind to the governor. They said that the governor was overusing his power. He was somewhat corrupt. He was showing special treatment to some people and exceeding his authority and all these things. Now, Zenger didn't write the essays. He was only a printer. But, as often happens, the writer was anonymous. And Zenger didn't tell who it was. Matter of fact, I'd have to go study the facts again. I'm trying to remember if he actually knew. I think he did, but he wouldn't say. So Zenger gets put on trial. Now, Zenger did a smart thing. He hired a good Philadelphia lawyer. In this case, literally, a lawyer from Philadelphia named Andrew Hamilton came. And he mounted what was at the time a very unusual defense. He gathered all kinds of information and even got witnesses to show that every accusation in those essays was perfectly true. Indisputable. He had the evidence. Now, did that mean Zenger would get off? Be acquitted? Might be surprising today. The answer is no. Because the law at that time, he was accused of what's called seditious libel. Libel is writing bad things about a person and sedition is undermining the authority of the government. So he was writing bad things about the governor or he printed these bad things about the governor with the intent to undermine his authority and get people to not trust him. The law said it doesn't matter if it's true. It only matters. Was it libelous? Did it make people think ill of the governor? And did you print it? Well, they had clear proof that it would undermine the authority of the governor and Zenger already admitted it. Yeah, I printed it. So Zenger was in a bad way, according to the law. The law did not allow truth as a defense. That's a legal term and you might have guessed I studied the history of media somewhat in my day. So truth as a defense was not allowed under the law.

But Zenger had one thing going in his favor besides a very good lawyer. He had got a jury trial. It wasn't before just a judge. He had a trial jury by his peers and the jury acquitted him. The jury said, in this case, the law is wrong. They said truth should be a defense. You should be able to say anything you want about someone as long as it's true.

And laws thereafter have pretty... in the United States have followed that precedent. Now, it didn't happen immediately, but over the years, for the most part, every law that has to do with slander or libel or sedition has allowed truth as a defense. One of the most famous cases comes up anytime you study American history. In 1798, Congress passed a set of laws that we know as the Alien and Sedition Acts. And this is because the United States was on the verge of going to war with France. And you might not remember. Did we ever have a war with France? Well, we didn't actually go to war. We fended it off, partly because John Adams, the president, didn't want to go to war. So we passed all these laws to control French immigrants, so they didn't help the enemy or dispose of enemy. And also a law against sedition. You can't say bad things about the government. But this law did allow truth as a defense. So a printer could say, that president Jod Adams, he's fat and bald.

Couldn't get in trouble. All you had to do was look at a picture of John Adams. He was fat and he was bald. But if he said, boy, he's a lousy president and he's trying to ruin the nation, well, that's getting no matter of opinion. You couldn't prove that was true. Some people thought he was a lousy president. Some people thought he was a great president. And why am I bringing that up, you might wonder?

What I wanted to show is, from the time of the Zenger trial onward, the press started having the opportunity to use things that were true or partly true. Taking facts and using them to present something that maybe in its whole totality isn't productive or maybe it's not true in the way it's put. I listen to the radio station out of Columbus a lot of times when I'm driving. I've heard various commercials. Apparently, there's a challenge in the primary race for the congressional seat that Pat T. Berry has held several years. I don't know if you listen. I think it's 6-10 I had on the radio. Pat T. Berry is a Republican and he's running for re-election, but the fellow named Yarbrough wants his seat. So he's saying, oh, T. Berry's voting with the Democrats. He's all these things. And he's only saying things that are true, but taken out of context to try to make T. Berry look as bad as possible. So now T. Berry's side is running ads about Yarbrough and, oh, he's done this and he ran for another party. And he's had complaints filed against him with the election board for lying. And then Yarbrough ran an ad saying, well, those complaints were filed by their party or by T. Berry so that they could say I had a complaint against me, that I was under investigation. So, saying things that are true, but not necessarily in the context to bring out the actual total truth. You're looking at me like, yeah, where are you going with this? Well, looking at all the campaign ads today, do we see truth and facts used to blur and distort what's reality? I think we do far too much. And that's where we as Christians want to look at what's the law of the land and what's become common practice out there and say, do we want to go that way? Let's turn with me, if you will, to 1 Corinthians. 1 Corinthians chapter 10. It's become common in our society to say whatever we can get away with, push right up to the edge, say, oh, it's illegal. Of course we can do that. Not caring how much it hurts someone or maybe doing it intentionally to hurt someone. 1 Corinthians chapter 10, and we'll begin in verse 23. Now, I'm taking this a little bit out of context. The Apostle Paul was talking about eating meat that had been sacrificed to idols. But I think the principle fits. And you'll see as I read the scripture. He says, all things are lawful for me, just like truth is a defense. All things are lawful, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful, but not all things edify. And he says, let no one seek his own, but each one the other's well-being. Don't worry about whether it's lawful or not. Think about, are you seeking your own well-being or are you trying to help someone else? That's what matters.

Now, and we see that in politics and news coverage, and we've seen it in God's church over the years. And in the last couple of years, we saw not really good examples among the ministry. Saying things that might have been partial truths, half-truths, what was the intent? Often to hurt or accuse people.

Did we all join in? Too often, many of us did, or at least we had our opinions. Let's go back to Proverbs 13. I wish more of us had given attention to this at the time. Proverbs 13. But that's okay. Maybe we didn't give as much attention to this then, but we can the next time some type of occasion comes up.

Proverbs 13 and verse 3.

He who guards his mouth preserves his life.

He who guards his mouth preserves his life. Watch what you say. It's preserving your life. But he who opens wide his lips... that sounds like a Basil Woolberkin cartoon. You open wide, those lips and destruction is coming. You know, you say enough words, you're going to say something wrong or harmful. Let's turn back to Proverbs 26. A few pages towards the back. Proverbs 26 and verse 17.

Proverbs 26 and verse 17.

He who passes by in metals in a coral, not his own. And like I said, that's happened a lot. It's human nature. It's not just in the church, but we've seen it happen in the church. He who passes by in metals in a coral, not his own, is like one who takes a dog by the ears.

I was hoping someone would give me a quizzical look. Because if you ever stop and say, like one who takes a dog by the... I was actually a third party, two people were talking about this, and someone was like, What in the world does that mean? Well, have you ever grabbed a dog? Go up and grab a dog, grab this ear, grab that ear. Now, are your hands occupied? Yes, you're holding on to his ears. Where is his mouth? It's right here. So you've got your hands occupied with a mouthful of sharp teeth right there at you. And he said, That's what it's like when you're meddling in something you're not your own affairs. And I've grabbed dogs by the ears before, literally and figuratively. It's not a smart thing to do.

But as I said, these principles can apply to us in the ministry, and they apply to all of us regarding the challenges, problems, and even sins of our brethren. Now, I did write myself not a disclaimer, but a reminder here. I'm talking about not talking about other people's sins or problems. That doesn't mean I'm condoning sin. And as a church, we don't do that. We don't ever say, Oh, sin's okay. Just don't talk about it. Don't just look away. As a church, we teach what is right, and we encourage that, and we condemn what's wrong. So we're not teaching it doesn't matter what people do, but there are times as individuals, we need to mind our own business. Let's go to Romans chapter 14. Romans 14 and verse 4.

To demonstrate that. The question is, even knowing if you know somebody's doing something or done something totally wrong, what should be your stance towards it? Romans 14 verse 4 says, Who are you to judge another's servant? To his own master, he stands or falls. Now, for all of us, we all have the same master. That's God. He's our master. So why should I be judging someone else's servant? God's servant. It says, To his own master, he stands or falls. Each of you have to answer to God, not to me. But the good part is, it says, Moreover, it doesn't say Moreover, I lost my place. Indeed, he will be made to stand, for God is able to make him stand. A person who's having the weakness and the trouble, God can give them the strength to make him stand on their feet. Before you judge someone who's in a stumble or a fall, God is able to make someone stand. We might be aware of others' problems in our midst. Sometimes you might be asked to help, and that's a good time to be involved. But most of the time, we need to focus on our own problems. Let's go over to Romans 14, the same chapter. Romans 14 and verse 12. So then, each of us shall give account of himself to God. Therefore, let us not judge one another anymore. Now, we're each accountable to God, so don't judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this. Not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother's way. We're all going to answer. We want our brothers to be helping us, not putting stumbling blocks out there. So I hope that's more than enough to talk about the words that can hurt that we want to avoid. I want to turn to the more edifying discussion, the more inspiring and happy to talk about what we can and should say. Because there are two sides to that coin. A coin, not corn. In other days, you should have stayed in bed. But if words could be like arrows piercing to the heart, and I didn't look up to see which proverb that is, but words could be like arrows piercing the heart, but they can also be wonderfully helpful. Let's go back to Proverbs again, Proverbs 16. Proverbs 16 and verse 24. What can words do for us when they're the right words at the right time?

Proverbs 16 and verse 24. Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul, and health to the bones. That's right. The words can heal. The right words, they're sweet. And they're like health to the bones. Let's notice also a couple pages earlier, Proverbs 15 and verse 23. Proverbs 15 and verse 23. A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, and a word spoken in due season, how good it is. That word spoken, the right word at the right time, you've been there, right? How good it is. Now, the natural question is then, what are the right words? How do we know which words to say? How do we know which words will be pleasant? Well, you probably know more than you might think. One good guide, I think, is we're familiar with the golden rule. Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you. Well, if you just changed it to talking, speak unto others as you would have them speak to you. You know the kind of things you like to hear at a certain time. And I think of that. Have you ever been in the middle of something? I've been like, you have your hands holding something together, and someone comes along and said, what'd you do that for, dummy? That's not the right word. You know the words you don't want to hear, and you know the words you do.

And do you like people to express appreciation? Words of encouragement? Those are things you can use. And I had an example came to mind while I was preparing this. You know, I've been over to the Ruggles House more often than I had been for a while. Of course, you know, when Red was hurting pretty bad, he didn't want that many, very many people coming around.

And so many of you might have wanted to come visit or call, and you were discouraged from doing that. After he died, I had an occasion to go over there, and I dealt with Naomi, and their son Jerry came in. And I'm not sure if I've ever been there when Jerry either wasn't already there or stopped in while I was there. A wonderfully helpful son. He's their oldest son, always there.

And so I talked with them a little bit, and I didn't want to stay long, and I was leaving, and I just thought I should say something. You know, he's grieving, he's just lost his father, and I don't remember the exact words, but I said something like, I want you to know that people notice what you're doing. We appreciate what an honorable thing it is that you've done. And he didn't say anything, but a smile lit his face, briefly.

And it made me feel good, because I don't often do that. I'm not good at being the one to say those right words, but I hit it that time, and I'm glad. And you know what I mean. You've done that once or twice, or you've had it said to you. That's the thing to shoot for. Shoot for those words of encouragement. Sometimes stepping out and saying, hey, I saw what you did, that was good. That can mean a lot to someone, especially when they're in a hard way. And I will second what Mr. Shoemaker said. Naomi's getting a little bit lonely now, because people have gotten the habit of not coming, not calling, or not coming over, so she'd appreciate hearing from more of you.

Sue and I went and visited a couple days ago, and we spent most of our time chasing Connor around and trying to stop him from grabbing everything. Of course, I thought Naomi might like to see what a bundle of energy is like, and I think she did enjoy it. But, you know, she'd enjoy hearing from more of you, too, when it fits in your schedule. I'll also advise you of some other things, though.

Like I said, I'm asking you to go by your gut in some cases, but there are some things that can be pretty clear. I worked for a couple of years in the church's Watts office out in Pasadena, and it's funny, we don't use that term anymore. Watts meant wide area telephone service. There's a fancy way of saying we had a 1-800 number. Back then, a toll-free line was a big deal.

And some of us, we got special training how to deal with people, because people would call during the weekend. They'd see the program and say, yeah, I want that Plain Truth magazine and send me that booklet, and you take down the name and address and be done.

Then during the week, they'd call, and you'd do all kinds of crazy stuff. And they taught us, you know, okay, you've got to deal with them the right way. And two things they said, be sure to say. Say please and say thank you. Please and thank you. And it's not alone to just watch. When I worked at Wendy's, running the cash register, please and thank you. You know, thank you very much, you know, and try to sell them cheese. But that's a different one. Now, I was thinking of a story. Now I remember what it was.

My manager once, he said, even if someone comes in and they only want to use the bathroom, they're not buying anything. Say, thank you very much. We'd like cheese on that bathroom.

But make them feel welcome. That wasn't in my notes, by the way. Please and thank you. A soft touch. If you're looking, you're still open to Proverbs 15. Proverbs 15 verse 1, a soft answer turns away wrath. It's not only the words you say, but the tone of voice. And that's something I did learn at the Watts office. They said, when you're talking to someone on the phone, smile.

Are you serious? They can't see me. They're on the phone. They said, it will affect the tone of your voice. If you smile when you're talking to them, they won't see your smile, but they can tell by the tone of your voice. So, think of that. When you're dealing with someone, smile. If it's an uncomfortable situation, it'll affect the tone of your voice. Say, please, and thank you. Let's consider an example of someone who was good at this.

We're going to talk about Barnabas. If you'll turn to the book of Acts, we'll start in Acts chapter 4. Barnabas is one of those characters you've all heard of, and he plays an important role, but a small role in the history of the New Testament church. But his is an example we want to look to. And as much as anything, we see some of what he did, but we're told volumes about him by the name we know him by.

Because the fact is, his name was not Barnabas. Acts 4 and verse 36. Now, this is when all the apostles were still staying in Jerusalem. It was not long after Christ's crucifixion, and they believed, Jesus is going to come back anytime now. Let's all stay here and wait for him. So some people were making sacrifices. If they had property, they'd sell that so they could donate the land.

We could all stay here and we're waiting. It's going to be anytime now. And in verse 36, we meet someone who did that. It says, Joseph, who was also named Barnabas by the apostles. So his real name was Joseph, but the apostles called him Barnabas. That's a nickname they gave him, which is translated the son of encouragement. He was a Levite from the country of Cyprus.

He was one of those who had land and he sold it. He said he laid it at the apostles' feet. He donated it, saying, You can do what you want with this. I'm helping the work. Now, we lose something because we don't call someone the son of encouragement. It sounds kind of poetic, but kind of middle ages. What we would call today is Barnabas the encourager. Or we'd call Joseph the encourager. Hey, here comes the encourager, the guy that's always got something encouraging to say.

Now, I think of that. We had some discussion among the camp directors. We were looking at different themes for how we might do the camp magazine. And one of the possibilities that came up, we were discussing perhaps doing a superhero theme.

Only instead of like Batman and Superman, we would have people from camp, like the encourager and, you know, the kayak guy. And we ended up not going with that. But I thought, what a cool—wouldn't he love to be the hero of the encourager? Dun-dun-dun! Here he comes. He's wearing a cape.

Barnabas was—I'm saying it's somewhat in humor—but he was kind of like that. Let's look ahead to chapter 9. And I mentioned you probably know someone like that who always has the encouraging thing to say. He would live out home on the plane, when no one ever says it is— I've got to go through to get the lyrics right. But anyways, Acts 9 and verse 26. Now, we're jumping ahead in the story. Now, a lot of the apostles—or the disciples—have already dispersed, because they discovered Christ isn't coming back right away. And someone—there's been persecution on the church. One person who did a lot of persecution was a prominent Pharisee by the name of Saul. We later know him when he changed his name to Paul. But when he was Saul, he was a religious leader. He was active in the Sanhedrin, we think, and he was persecuting Christians. Of course, on his way to Damascus to persecute more Christians and throw him in jail, Jesus knocked him off his feet, struck him blind, and said, I want you to come work for me now. So after that happens, he comes to Jerusalem wanting to meet with the disciples. But guess what? As we see here in verse 26, Saul had come to Jerusalem and tried to join the disciples, but they were all afraid of him. They didn't believe he was a disciple. Well, why would they? He'd been trying to throw them in jail. But the encourager, Barnabas, took him and he brought him to the apostles. He must have listened to him and said, hey, I hear you're trying to join us. We don't know the conversation that occurred, but Barnabas was the encourager. He stepped out and took a risk. He believed Saul and brought him to the apostles. He declared to him how he'd seen the Lord on the road and that he'd spoken to him and how he'd preached boldly at Damascus in the name of Jesus. So it's not always easy or even safe to be the encourager. Barnabas stepped out. He took a chance. He truly was that encourager. Let's go ahead again in verse 11. Barnabas wasn't just somebody always saying encouraging things. He had some knowledge and wisdom. We know later that he's known as an apostle, a teacher. Now we'll see, after the disciples had scattered and more and more people are being called into the church, up in what we now know as Turkey, they'd call it Asia then, people were coming. And the apostles in Jerusalem heard this. They said, we better send somebody out to help teach them. So if we pick up in Acts 11 in verse 22, news, this is the news that people are being called by God up there in Asia, says, news of these things came to the ears of the church in Jerusalem, and they sent out the encourager to go as far as Antioch. This is where I got that superhero image. They heard that there's this going on. They sent out the encourager. Now, Joseph, the encourager, and he went as far as Antioch. And when he came up and he'd seen the grace of God, he was glad. And what did he do? He encouraged them. He encouraged them all with that purpose of heart that they should continue in the Lord. So he didn't just encourage them, he taught them about God's way. For he was a good man. He was full of the Holy Spirit and of faith. And a great many people were added to the Lord. But then the encourager realized that he was going to need some help. God was calling so many people, so he departed to Tarsus to seek Saul.

Now, Tarsus. Tarsus is the name of the city where Saul was originally from. And I wonder about this. I'm going to read a little into the story because there's details we don't know. But we know, remember, Saul had been active in the Sanhedrin. He says later he was a Pharisee of the Pharisees, prominent above others his age. So that was his career, and he'd lost it. When he converted to Christianity, he couldn't be a Pharisee anymore. So he went back to his hometown, and I would guess he was probably working in a tent-making shop. The Bible tells us he was trained as a tent-maker, and he worked at that craft throughout the rest of his life. So he probably is going to the synagogue or going to the local church. He's making his tents, and that's what he thinks he'll do for the rest of his life. And then one day, Enwax the encourager says, Saul, I need your help. Now, what did he say? We know he came and went and got him, but we don't know exactly the words. He probably didn't say, boy, you owed us because you persecuted Christians, and what a dastardly bad person you were. That doesn't sound like words of the encourager. He might have said something like, I've heard the way you taught people. I know you've got the knowledge. Why don't you come and help? You've got more to do than just make tents. Come and serve the work.

And it says in verse 26, when he'd found him, he brought him to Antioch. So he convinced him by those words of encouragement. And so it was that for a whole year, they assembled with the church and taught a great many people. The disciples were first called Christians at Antioch. And if we go on through the book of Acts, we'd see that Paul had this new career serving God and doing great work. And it's benefited all of us. He wrote most of the New Testament. But I wonder, well, actually, I don't wonder God would have got him there some way or another. If he was willing to knock him down on the road to Damascus, he would have sent somebody. But when God wanted the job done, he sent in the encourager. You know, whether he had a cape on or not, Saul was that person. He used the right words. The right words can make a whole lot of difference. How about you and me? Are we ever the encourager? We don't have to go to distant lands to encourage other people. Like, you know, Barnabas had to travel to Asia. We won't have to do that. But we've got people around us that can use encouragement. And we can't affect people in distant lands. We've got Facebook and email. We can even send old-fashioned cards and letters. Sue's been making plans. She invited, I hope I'm not saying anything out of line. She invited some of the teenage girls and others to come to make cards to send to people. And, you know, we're hoping to make a lot of cards that will be useful to people. She sent out a message to the pastor's wives or whatever on the elders forum. And they sent a bunch of people who they said, yeah, there's people who could use encouragement. All these people would like to get cards. So we're looking forward. That's a way we can help encourage. Just think, when you're having a problem, a problem that perhaps people would gossip about. There could be stories going around. Or, if you hear of someone having a problem that you might be tempted to talk about, instead, you could encourage that person. You could let that person know you're praying for him or her. Perhaps you'll have an opportunity to give him or her a good word, to encourage his or her progress. Let them know that you see them doing something right. But I can't just leave this. It'd be nice if I want to have it all good. But sometimes, someone's doing something that directly affects you. And a word of encouragement isn't the only thing you can do. You've got to address that. What do you do then? Well, if you'll turn with me to Matthew 18. Sure, a lot of you old-timers are ahead of me on this. Matthew 18 and verse 15. Jesus Christ himself gave us a procedure, a method for what to do when you need to talk to someone about something they're doing wrong against you. You want to encourage them to change then, but there's a way to do it. And of course, the way that we want to do it is using words that heal, not words that hurt. So let's look at Matthew 18 and verse 15. Moreover, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. That's the way to do it. Go to him or her between you and him alone. And if he hears you, then you've gained your brother. So that's your goal. Go alone and hopefully he'll say, ah, now I see. But if he will not hear, then take with you one or two more. That by the mouth of two or three witnesses, every word may be established.

So you're still not spreading it around to everyone. You're keeping it fairly private. And you're going and you're getting some support to convince this person that, yes, they are doing something wrong and should change. Now, at every step along the way, you're hoping that it'll be like the first one. If he hears you, that's great. It says, if he refuses to hear them, then tell it to the church. But if he refuses to even hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.

Now, I think, okay, how many heathens and tax collectors do I have dealings with these days? Well, I try to avoid the IRS as much as possible. And as far as heathen, I mean, I haven't seen any idols to bail in my backyard. Well, I shouldn't have in my backyard. What I'm getting at is, that's a terminology we wouldn't use today. But what we might say is, treat this person as though they're not a church member. It doesn't mean treat them as an enemy or as the most evil person you've ever met. Just treat them like you would your next-door neighbor or the person you work with or whoever it is that's not in the church. You can be civil and nice. You just, because the sin is separated, you don't have the same relationship. But our goal all along is not to be doing that. This whole process is the opposite of gossiping. It's going to someone and trying to help them and trying to restore your relationship. And I'll admit, it's very hard to do. As a matter of fact, I'll admit, I'm one that has trouble doing this. This is difficult for me to do. And it's my job to have to do it sometimes. But I can look back and say, you know what? Friends of mine have done it to me. I've had good friends come to me and say, Frank, I need to talk to you. You're doing this. You've done this and it hurt me. And you know what? I was so glad they did. And I'm talking years and years ago. I can't, as a matter of fact, only one comes to mind immediately. And I don't want to tell you what it was about. But I was in the wrong and my friend came and helped me to get right. I was so glad that he did it. It was probably hard for him. But it's a very good thing to do. I want to note one thing here, though. There's a couple other things I want to note. Where it says, if they won't hear the one or two witnesses, tell it to the church. Now, some interpret that as, okay, go tell every single person in the church, right? Tell everybody. I don't think that's what it meant. Jesus was describing a formal process, a procedure. So I interpret, tell it to the church, meaning go to the government of the church. Now, over the eras, the church has had different types of government. It might mean go to the pastor of the church. It might mean go to a council or a committee or whoever the person is. It's seeking some type of arbitration or a higher authority.

Now, what I want to point out here is, you know, you might, you know, we might do this. In this example, the brother that the person is approaching is guilty of the sin for the hypothetical case. But in real life, you might go through this procedure. Imagine you go to your brother and say, you're doing this wrong. And he says, no, I'm not. And I say, yes, you are. You're hurt. And he's, I'm not doing this. You know, I'm not in the wrong. And you take one or two witnesses and he still isn't convinced. So say you do go to a pastor or you go to a committee. You need to be prepared for the fact that they might say, no, he's not wrong. You are. Anytime you go to a higher authority for some type of arbitration, there is that potential. You know, it's not, it shouldn't be hard for us to imagine that we could think someone's doing this wrong. And then later turn out that we misperceived the situation. Hopefully we're never in that situation intentionally. But my point is just, if you're going to take something to a higher authority, have the humility, prepare it in your mind ahead of time, to be told that you are the one that was in the wrong. It can happen. Hopefully it won't. Hopefully we've sorted things out. And of course, hopefully it would never come to that. Hopefully we go to our brother. And if you go to him and he says, well, sit down, let's talk about this and explain the situation. If you're in the wrong, perhaps you'll be the one that says, oh, I'm really sorry.

But one of the things I want to back up here and talk about, what's our overall goal in this procedure? It's a short little passage of Scripture we've turned to a lot of times. The overall goal is not to prove who's right or who's wrong. The goal is to restore good relations. You want to get back in the good place. You want to restore the positive relationship that you should have had. If you look in verse 15, the first word there is, moreover. You might wonder, well, why does he say, moreover? Well, that means this is a continuation of an earlier thought. So let's look at what the earlier thought was in Matthew 18 and verse 10.

God's goal is restoration. What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them goes astray, doesn't he leave the ninety-nine and go to the mountains to seek the one that is straying? And if he finds it, I say to you, he rejoices more over that sheep than over the ninety-nine that didn't go astray. Even so, it's not the will of your Father who's in heaven that even one of these little ones should perish. And then he says, moreover, so it's God's goal that no one perish, not even one little one. So if one is, then you go through this procedure with the goal of bringing back that which was lost. And if you find out you are the one that's lost, you still want to be brought back.

When someone is restored, like that lost sheep, we should join in the rejoicing that's going on in heaven. It says, the Father and Jesus Christ are rejoicing when someone turns from a sin. We should rejoice, and we should happily welcome a brother back who's been caught up in some type of sin. And that's the time to use words that heal.

And I thought with that in mind, there's no better time to go to Matthew 7. We should keep this in mind. Matthew 7, beginning in verse 2.

Actually, we could begin in verse 1, because it's appropriate. This is part of the Sermon on the Mount.

And I love this imagery. Why do you look at the speck that's in your brother's eye and don't consider the plank that's in your own? The Old King James says, you don't consider the beam. And a lot of you men have been in the Spokesman's Club. You remember the Old Spokesman's Club manual? I think it's a section on evaluation, Basil Wolford had the illustration of a guy with a huge post sticking out of his eye. And he's correcting the other guy.

That's what the imagery we get from this. You're trying to help somebody get a little speck out of his eye, and you've got this big old beam sticking out of yours. He said, how can you say to your brother, let me take the speck out of your eye? Now look, you've got a plank in your own, you hypocrite. First, remove the plank from your own eye, and then you'll be able to see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. And of course, he says that, but the underlying thought is, okay, how long is it going to take you to get every speck out of your own eye?

Most of us could spend our whole life working on that, working on specks and planks in our own eyes. And we won't have time to worry about what's in our brothers. And think, while you're working on that speck or whatever it is in your eye, and this is figuratively speaking, spiritually, you're wanting to get a speck out of your eye, wouldn't you like to hear words of encouragement? Wouldn't you like to have others say, yeah, you can do it. Yeah, I really appreciate the positive work you're doing. You don't want people to come and criticize you or make accusations. You want words that heal. There's a good example of such kind words. I want to go to a section of Scripture we don't often read, but it's actually pretty interesting.

We're going to go to the Book of Philemon. And I say book, almost tongue-in-cheek, because we could call it the page of Philemon. It's right before Hebrews and right after Titus. And in most translations of the Bible, it takes about one page or less. The epistle of Paul, it's better to call it an epistle or a letter, it was written to Philemon, and we can consider it a case study, a case study of tact and discretion. Tact and discretion. Paul had to write a letter to Philemon. Philemon was a Christian, a person that Paul apparently knew fairly well.

And as was the custom in society at that time, Philemon owned slaves. Now, that strikes us as very, you know, totally wicked and evil, because we look by our own situation. But in the Roman Empire at that era, and we know for generations, even in the nation of Israel, owning slaves wasn't always bad.

We discussed that somewhat at the Bible study last week. So take that out of your mind that, you know, it wasn't that Philemon was evil for owning a slave, but he owned a slave named Onesimus who had run away. You know, he didn't like being a slave. He got out of there.

And on what I think is an amazing coincidence, that slave bumped into the Apostle Paul. We think in Rome, where Paul was waiting for his hearing with Caesar, and he heard Paul's teaching and converted to Christianity, got baptized, received the Holy Spirit. And then, and I wonder, maybe the conversation with Paul was talking with Onesimus and realized, oh, who was your former owner? A fellow in this city named Philemon? I know that guy. He's a church member. He's a good person. You've done, you know, you've run away, for whatever reason, and we don't get that. But I can't have you in good conscience stay here. You should return and make amends.

And Paul writes the letter that Onesimus takes. And we'll see as we read here, Paul doesn't lower the boom. He doesn't say, here's what you've got to do, and I'm going to make you do it. He uses kind, tactful words addressing Philemon. So let's begin here. Paul, a prisoner of Jesus Christ, and Timothy, our brother, the common things he uses, to Philemon, our beloved friend and fellow laborer.

That's how he thinks of Philemon. To the beloved Ephiah and Archippus, our fellow soldier in the church in your house. Now we get down to the meat. Grace to you and peace from God, our Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ. I thank my God making mention of you always in my prayers. Philemon, I pray about you regularly.

Hearing of your love and the faith that you have towards Jesus and towards all the saints. So you've got a good reputation. We know what you stand for, Philemon. And that the sharing of your faith may become effective by the acknowledgement of every good thing, which is in Christ Jesus. We have great joy and consolation in your love because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed by you, brother.

So it's basically saying, I know what good things you've done and we feel good when we think about you. You've done all this good work. Therefore, hearing of your love and the faith that you have, because of all that good stuff I know about you, though I might be very bold in Christ to command you what is fitting, even though I could use my office as an apostle and tell you what you have to do, He says, yet for love's sake I appeal to you.

I'm begging you. I lost my place. I appeal to you, being such a one as Paul the Aged, not as Paul the Apostle who has this authority, but as an old man and also a prisoner of Christ. Paul here is admitting, I'm in prison. I can't make you do this.

I can't force you anything. And even my office doesn't do much good. I'm just an old man in chains. But I'm appealing to you. On behalf of my son Onesimus, an entry he calls him my son. He says, whom I've begotten while in my chains.

Paul doesn't hide the fact that I'm still a prisoner. And he was unprofitable to you. So he was unprofitable. He ran away. That's not a very profitable slave. But he says, now he is profitable to you and to me.

So he brings in the element, now this is between you and him, Bilemon and Onesimus, but I've got a stake in this too because he's become profitable. Maybe I should slow down. He's become valuable to me. So I'm sending him back. You, therefore, receive him that is my own heart. Take him back. He means a lot to me, Bilemon. So typically a master, when a slave comes back, he's going to let him know how angry he is. But he said, wait a minute, keep in mind, he means a lot to me.

And he says, I wish to keep him with me that on your behalf, he might minister to me in my chains for the gospel. So, hey, Bilemon, for whatever reason, you're too old, you've got business concerns, you can't come here and serve me like you might like to do to help the work, but he can.

So I would have loved to have had him stay to do the work that you'd like to do. But he says, without your consent, I wouldn't do anything. I won't do this without you agreeing to it. That your good deed might not be by compulsion, but as it were, voluntary. So Paul, as I said, very tactful. Here, he lets it be known what he would like to have happen, but I'm not going to force you. I want it to be voluntary. But he lets him know this would be very useful.

He says, for perhaps he departed for a while for this purpose, that you might receive him forever. I'm going to come back to that perhaps. He says, perhaps he departed, which is a euphemism for ran away, but maybe for this very reason, maybe God was behind this, that you could receive him forever, no longer as a slave, but more than a slave. So he's not saying that he stopped being a slave, although he's letting Philemon, he's leaving it to him to conclude that he could free him, but he could be more than a slave.

Now he can be a brother, meaning a brother in Christ, a Christian. And beloved brother, especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord? So it's like, hey, we've been striving to have people convert. Here's one of your own household who's converted. We should love him for that.

So if you... Oh, I wanted to come back to the perhaps. It's interesting, and it's a teaching tool. Rather than tell someone, this is the answer, you've got to come to that. If you can set up the stage where they come to the conclusion on their own, they believe it much more. So Paul, rather than tell him this is the way it is, he leaves it for Philemon to have the dignity to come to that conclusion on his own. Perhaps this is why this happened. He doesn't say it has to be, but he set everything up to realize that it makes sense.

Therefore, if then you count me a partner, receive him as you would me. Treat him the way you would treat me. But if he's wronged you or owes you anything, put it on my account. He says, I, Paul, am writing with my own hand. I will repay. And Paul didn't write with his own hand very often. We think he had some problem with his eyes. At the end of each letter, usually you'll see when people are sending their greetings, they'll say, I, Paul, at that point, he'll write something. But usually he didn't write. But apparently he might have written this whole letter by his own hand with great difficulty to do it. So he wrote it with his own hand and he says, I'll repay. Whatever he owes you, I'm going to take that on me. I'm asking a lot from you. I'm offering a lot also. Says, Yes, brother, let me have joy from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart. You know, please do something good here. Having confidence in your obedience, knowing what a good person you are. I write to you knowing that you'll do more than I say, or even more than I say. Once again, Paul is leaving up to Philemon saying, your past record says you'll go above and beyond something that the work needs. So I'm writing to you with this great confidence. And he says, But meanwhile also, prepare a guest room for me, for I trust that through your prayers I will be granted to you. This is, you know, a lot of people say, Oh, we'd love to have the Apostle Paul come and visit. Some people said, Well, and I can't disagree. This could almost come across as a veiled threat. Oh, by the way, I'm coming to visit. I'm going to check up on you to see how you're treating Onesimus. But he's already said, I'm in prison. You know, it's only by your prayers I'd be able to come and visit. So if it is a threat, it's one with no teeth. So he's saying, Yeah, I'd like to come and visit, but you know, I won't be able to. So I'm putting trust in you. As I said, and I'm not going to finish all this, but an example of tact, of approaching someone about a very delicate situation. And I made a note here to myself to mention, I'm not referring to the Book of Philemon as a demonstration of how to manipulate people. That's not what we're intending, but it's to show us that we can see it as an example of how we can talk to someone in a delicate situation. That we can choose our words carefully. We can appreciate and respect them as a person, but still let them know that we're going to ask them something that's tough in some cases.

And we have to think first. Choose our words carefully and keep love as our motivation. If we do that, we'll usually be in good shape. We can go to our brother with difficult issues.

And just think, no doubt in the course of time, most of us are going to be on eventually both sides of this issue, not at the same time, but at some point you'll have someone come to you when you're in the wrong or when they need to ask you to do something difficult. At another time, you'll be in the position of needing to go to someone. So knowing that, we do want to think. Now, James said, if anyone does not offend in word at all, they're perfect. So we've all offended. None of us are perfect, but we all want to be perfect. But it's a lifelong process.

In our dealings with one another, in our talk about one another, we need to show proper respect for our brothers in Christ.

We're all sons and daughters, and that makes us brothers because of our relationship with God. So as we deal with each other, we want to use words that heal, not words that hurt. We can do that, and I encourage us all to do so in our time ahead.