Getting Control of Yourself

Well, we are coming to an end of a series today. It is a series on the fruit of the spirit. And this is the last part of the fruit. So we're going to complete the fruit today. The title of our study today, Getting Control of Yourself. If you'd like a little bit shorter, get control of yourself. And I invite you to open your Bibles. And let's turn to Galatians 5. And we're going to begin in verse 16. Galatians 5 verse 16, of course, is where we find the fruit of the spirit listed. We've been considering this for the last few weeks what it means to be indwelt by and energized by the Holy Spirit. You know, if someone asks you, what is the fruit of the spirit and where is this fruit produced? Simply, we could say that the fruit of the spirit is the character of God. And it's the character of God developed in the individual who is indwelt by his spirit.

So very simply, it's the character of God that grows in the man or the woman who God places his spirit into. And we've looked at each individual characteristic of the fruit. We've made sure to note that it's God who grows this fruit in us. He's making us the kind of people that he wants us to be, that we were designed ultimately to be. And as he's developing this fruit, we're becoming like his son, Jesus Christ. And we are participating in our role in revealing the Father. You know, Jesus Christ came, he revealed the Father.

Well, our lives are to reveal the Father as well. But even so, make no doubt this process of becoming like God's son and possessing this fruit, growing this fruit, it is a very difficult task. And one of the main reasons it's such a difficult task and endeavor is that it absolutely requires self-control. It requires getting ourselves under control. And it's a process by which we restrain our natural thoughts and actions. So simply put, as we're about to read this Galatians 5 section here, what's going to become very clear and what we have to acknowledge is that the flesh, the self, is absolutely in opposition to the spirit, God's spirit.

It is in opposition, the flesh, the self is in opposition to what God places in us as a called believer, his spirit. And so we're going to talk about restraining, controlling the self so that we might become like his son and produce this fruit. Galatians 5, let's begin in verse 16 and we'll read through verse 26.

Fascinating passage here. Paul writes, I say then, walk in the spirit and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the spirit and the spirit against the flesh and they're contrary to one another so that you do not do the things that you wish. But if you are led by the spirit, you are not under the law.

That's the penalty, the condemnation of the law. Now, verse 19, the works of the flesh are evident. These are, and I'll take a look at this list, adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, relburies, and the like. So there's the blanket. Of which I tell you beforehand, just as I've told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Verse 22, So, quite a passage, and again, simply put, what we have to acknowledge right up front is that here in this section of Galatians 5 is the fact that the flesh, the self, is in opposition to the spirit, to God's spirit. In many ways, the flesh wars, the self wars against the spirit. So when God's spirit is placed in an individual, the man or the woman will realize that there's a great conflict which occurs.

An inner struggle erupts. Why? Why would that be the case? Well, I think it's because in becoming like his son and in growing this fruit, it's not solely about adding godly aspects to your life. Okay? Producing this fruit, it's not solely about adding God's godly aspects to your life, but it actually also involves a getting rid of, a putting away, a self-sacrifice, if you will. Sacrificing the self is part of the process. And ultimately, what Paul is introducing here is the endeavor to put ourselves under control, the self under control, and to be led by the spirit.

It involves sacrificing the self. And therefore, that's the conflict. It's all here in verses 16 through 18. Again, 16 through 18, I say then, this is very clear, walk in the spirit and you will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the spirit, the spirit against the flesh, they're contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things you wish. That's the conflict. So God's presence in our life is to say to us, now come on now.

First things first, you shouldn't be living this way. Put off those things. Sacrifice. You're not going to be able to do what you wish to do.

What do we wish to do? We could ask. Well, if we're honest with ourselves, each of us, I wish to please myself. My lusts, my desires, my flesh. In a way, I desire to worship myself rather than God.

So you see why the fruit of the spirit is so crucial because without it, we don't have the ability to worship anyone else but ourselves. So it's a very vital aspect, this fruit of self-control. So we're going to ask two questions today in our endeavor to explore this fruit. Two questions. The first, they're very simple. The first question is simply, what is self-control? What is it? We're going to explore that. The second question we're going to ask is simply, how do I grow self-control in my life? Where do we begin to really try to grow this fruit this year?

So that'll be the two questions. So first, what is self-control? I have a few definitions for you. One's longer, a few shorter. What is self-control? The fruit of self-control is this. It's the spirit-enabled ability to avoid excesses and stay within the boundaries God sets.

So self-control is this. It's the spirit-enabled ability to avoid excesses and stay within the God-given boundaries.

Shorter definition, it's to do what's right despite our desires.

It's the ability to control the things of the self which we are prone to elevate above God. So it's controlling those things, controlling the things of the self which we're prone to elevate above God. Very important fruit again in becoming like Jesus Christ. And it's why this particular fruit was a major theme in Paul's ministry, in his preaching the gospel. We see this fruit come up time and time again. In fact, I just want to go just a few places to show you that this is an overarching theme of Paul, particularly. If you'd like to keep your marker here, let's turn over to another time in which Paul is writing to Ephesians 4 verses 20 through 24. Let's take a look there. Ephesians 4 verses 20 through 24. I just want to take a moment to look at a few other places in which Paul speaks about this fruit. This is going to help us understand exactly what it is. Paul didn't just speak to the Galatians about it. He actually now speaks to the Ephesians, the God's people in Ephesus, about this particular fruit of self-control. So look what he says here. Ephesians 4, we're going to begin in verse 20, writing to the Ephesians. He says, Paul writes, But you have not so learned Christ, if indeed you have heard him and have been taught by him as the truth in Jesus, here it is, that you put off concerning the former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God in true righteousness and holiness. Stop there. So what is self-control? It's putting off the old self. That which belongs to your former life, that which was self-seeking and therefore deceitful and corrupt, in lieu of being renewed by the spirit now, the spirit of your mind, the clothed yourself as a new man in true righteousness and holiness. So get yourself under control in the flesh. Become who you're supposed to be in the spirit. Simple? Well, Paul, easier said than done, right? As I was exploring this and just thinking about it my own life, I came across this particular saying. I think it's a good one.

Self is one of the toughest weeds to remove in the garden of our lives. You know, I wonder if you agree with that. That's good imagery. Self is one of the toughest weeds to remove in the garden of our lives. Have you ever had a tough weed? Now, I have learned my lesson. I used to go around picking weeds in our garden until I would get in trouble with Jennifer and she would politely or not so politely inform me that wasn't a weed. That was actually my precious plant, you know, X, Y, Z, whatever it is. It looked just like a weed, you know. And so I've become very gun-shy about picking weeds. But there was this one particular weed that was growing right by our garage door. And it looked just like a plant. But I asked her and I asked her again, it's a weed. Are you sure? It's a weed. So I decided to pull it up and as I was passing by, I just kind of grabbed on it, tugged on it, and it was not going anywhere. I know I probably should have taken a picture, but it was the stock was actually by that time pretty thick. And it was it was one of the toughest weeds I've ever come across. And I pulled on it and pulled on it and pulled it. Inevitably, I broke it off. And so, you know, it's there to haunt me in the future, I'm sure. But that imagery, you know, controlling the self is like that. Think for a moment, who do you have the most trouble with in your Christian life? Now, don't say your spouse. She's here if she's here.

It's not our friends. It's not our family. Not our neighbors. If you're honest, it's yourself. You know, the person we have the most trouble with in our Christian walk is our self. It's the one who we look at in the mirror every morning. We get caught up in, to name a few, self-centeredness, self-deception, self-importance, self-pity. And the list goes on.

And to add to the struggle of just our own challenges with ourself, we live in a society that's very self-indulgent and we're bombarded with messages that speak to the self. You know, and even though we know, as a loving father, as a loving father does, as a loving parent does, they set for our protection, for our well-being, for our good, these are boundaries. And they're broad boundaries and they're wonderful blessings. But even though we know they're from a loving God who sets these boundaries for our benefit, we're still tempted to live outside of the boundaries. I know you have told me I can eat from every tree in the garden, but now that you said I can't have that one, that's the one I want. You know, now it's our human nature, isn't it? The self wants more. The self does not want to live within the boundaries. He wants to indulge. I don't necessarily promote reading outside commentary too much. You got to be careful. I did come across this, though. C.S. Lewis, a very popular work of his Screwtape letters, the Screwtape letters. Fictional work. It speaks of fictional characters addressing theological issues, having to do with temptation, living outside of God's boundaries. Screwtape, the evil one, says to one of his nephews, he says, all that we can really hope to do is to encourage our enemies, and that's the Christians, to take the good things, the things that God has given, to take those good things and encourage them to take the good things at the wrong time, in the wrong quantity, or with the wrong person. Okay? Isn't that so true? We spoil the good things. For example, sex. Wonderful gift from God, beautifully exercised in the confounds of marriage. Man, in indulging the self, exercises it outside the sacred bounds of marriage. You see, we don't want to be within bounds.

The list could go on and on. Food and drink, blessings from God. Man, indulges the self to spoil it, that which is good, by abusing it through excess. Right? So we live in this very self-indulgent culture. We're living with very self-indulgent nature. So as we endeavor to define self-control, we need to acknowledge that self-indulgent pleasures are pleasurable. We have to acknowledge that. We got to get into the meat of it and really face up to it. Self-indulgent pleasures are pleasurable, but they're only pleasurable for a time. They're passing pleasures. Ultimately, they lead to death and destruction, but they lead to unhappiness in this life.

I know, and I think you do too. Anytime you've engaged in self-indulgent pleasures, on the other end of it, you end up more empty, more sad, more destructive than you were before. So it's a hollow promise. You remember what it was said of Moses? You know, God did a tremendous work through Moses, and God was able to do a tremendous work through him because he had this one quality of self-control. It was said of Moses, he chose to suffer affliction in this life rather than enjoy the passing pleasures of sin. Do you know where that's found? Let's turn there. Hebrews 11 verses 24 through 26. I want to show you this. This is very enlightening when we're talking about pleasures of the self outside of God's boundaries. Hebrews 11 verses 24 through 26 What we're going to see here is that while self-indulgent pleasures are pleasurable, Moses engaged in self-sacrifice for the reward that was to come. Look at this. Hebrews 11 beginning in verse 24. By faith, Moses, when he came of age, so he was a young man, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter, here it is, choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin, esteeming the reproach, the suffering of Christ, greater riches than the treasures in Egypt. For he looked to the reward. Stop there. So what's being acknowledged in Scripture is there's something about living uncontrolled, living in sin, that's pleasurable. There's something about it that's attractive, but I find this so enlightening. Moses, he chose rather to suffer affliction, self-sacrifice, rather than enjoy the passing pleasures of sin, esteeming, get this, holding in high regard the reproach, the suffering of Christ. He held that as greater riches than the treasures in Egypt, i.e. the world, as Mr. Durkey pointed out earlier. He looked to the reward, the reward, not these rewards. These rewards are temporary, they're fleeting. God gives us many blessings that if we live in the boundaries, they're wonderful, but compared to the reward. And then if you compare the passing pleasures, quote, rewards, you can't even compare the two. Yes, there are passing pleasures and living uncontrolled, those compared to the eternal riches of Christ, no comparison. So the fruit of self-control as we try to establish what it is, it's truly established when we're just taken up with the wonders of God and His grace and what He's done for us. We're so taken up by those affections that these pleasures, quote, pleasures, they lessen in their appeal to us. Why? Well, because Christ is our all-in-all. It's an understanding that Moses had, and God was able to do a tremendous work through Him. So I'm willing to self-sacrifice temporary pleasures because I look forward to the reward. And self-control is absolutely crucial. We can't love sin. We can't love self-indulgent pleasures because whatever we make our mistaken pleasure, at that moment, we love it more than we love God. We're holding that more in high esteem at that moment. Whatever we make our mistaken pleasure. So in essence, lack of self-control is idolatry, isn't it? At its essence. So we could say failure to control the self is idolatry. So who are you worshiping? Who are you going to worship? You know, when we choose self-desire, those things outside of God's boundaries, we're declaring that God is not enough. You know, that's a prayer that I pray often. When I'm engaged in lack of control, I just pray that God, that I'd be satisfied. I long for to be satisfied with all that God's given me. Why do I want more? You know, I've had that discussion with God many at times. I hate that part of me. I'm just not satisfied, you know, with the blessings God's given me. Why? Help me understand, Father. You know, this could be your prayer today as you're thinking about this. I want to find only satisfaction in you and your way. Living uncontrolled takes many different sizes and shapes.

Lack of self-control can cover many aspects as you're thinking about this today. Perhaps your uncontrolled living, you know, you have to answer that yourself. It's very personal. Perhaps your uncontrolled living is, I'll just take one more look. Perhaps your uncontrolled living is, I'll just raise my voice one more time in anger. You know, you look at that list of the works of the flesh. Oh, man, it has murders. You know, I think I'm doing pretty well. And then it says, you know, outburst of wrath or, you know, just something that different anger aspects or different things that we do every day. Contentions and, you know, things that are on our heart every day. So that list really can amplify where we're living uncontrolled, where we're worshiping in the shrine of our own appetites. And I really want you to expand your thinking as to far as what living uncontrolled is. I believe it's anything that any area that you're living that's outside of God's intentions for you. So while lying, I gotta stop lying, you know, if that's your sin, that's very obvious. But I want you to think, broaden it. What if you have unbalanced fear, unbalanced anxiety? You're living outside of the bounds in which God has intended for you. So you can even bring in those type of aspects as you're considering this in your life and think, where am I actually living outside of where God wants me to be?

Well, I want to esteem Christ more than that activity, whatever I'm participating in. And so when we think of self-control and what it is, it is to esteem the reproach, the sacrifice of Christ. And because of that, we're willing to do what's right despite our own selfish desires.

So, second question, let's move on to that. How do we begin? Where do we start to grow this fruit in our lives? Well, let me try to answer that for you. The fruit of self-control grows as we're brought under the control of Christ. We're going to begin to explore this. The fruit of self-control begins with our self-mastery, if you will, begins when we're brought under the mastery of Christ. We're going to see it begins when we acknowledge that we have the power to overcome.

The fruit of self-control begins to grow when we acknowledge that we have the ability to have self-control. We're going to see there's a kind of a spiritual psychology to this. You have to know that you know that you know that you have the ability to live controlled.

We have to seek the power of the Holy Spirit. We can't do it on our own. I've tried to do it on my own. Perhaps you have. You know, when we try to go at it on our own to eliminate things in our life, often we will move toward outward reformation. We will change routines. We will change habitual activities. We may even change locations. All that can actually be very helpful in bringing control in your life, but ultimately they will fail because your self comes with you even when you move locations. It's still with you. Ultimately, the change has to happen here.

We must look to God and the power of His enabling spirit. First and foremost, growth in self-control begins with turning to God. As you're thinking about this, you need to take that which you're out of control and bring it to God. First and foremost, bring it to God in repentance. I want to change course with this activity in my life. I'm bringing it to you, Father. I have a desire to change. You have to bring your out of control aspects to God. Start there. Can't do it on your own. And by doing so, what you're going to begin doing is living in the spirit. You're going to be living in the spirit. You're not going to live in the flesh. You're going to live in the spirit. Living in the spirit might sound a little abstract, but I want to try to really hone that down for you because Paul speaks a lot about this when he's talking about the fruit of the spirit, when he's talking about gaining control in your life. He speaks about living in the spirit. This is actually a reality that each of us need to move into. Paul picks up on this reality, living in the spirit, as he writes in Romans. We find Paul speaking about this reality to the church there. Let's turn over to Romans 8 verses 5 through 9. If you'd like to turn with me there. Romans 8 verses 5 through 9. As we think about where do we start, where do we begin to grow this fruit in our lives, I think Paul's going to help us with this. One thing we want to establish is it's absolutely positive, possible to live a controlled life. It's absolutely possible to live a controlled life now in the spirit. Romans 8 verses 5 through 9.

For those who live according to the flesh, they set their minds on the things of the flesh. But those who live according to the spirit, the things of the spirit. To be carnally-minded is death, but to be spiritually-minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God, for it's not subject to the law of God, nor can it be. So then those who are in the flesh cannot please God. All right, let's stop there for a moment. Now, here are these next words. Verse 9. But you, speaking to God's people, you are not in the flesh but in the spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now, if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not his. So I love verse 9 there. Paul goes through the reality of flesh and spirit living, and then he turns to God's people with authority and says, but you, however, you're not like those I described in the flesh. Your mind does not have to live out of control. Your mind does not have to be hostile to God. You don't have to be like those who cannot submit to the law. They cannot please God. Your path doesn't have to be that way. You don't have to be controlled by the self-desires of the flesh. No, you're different. You are not in the flesh but in the spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. This is your new reality. So to truly grow the fruit of self-control, you need to acknowledge and live in this reality here. If you have been baptized and you have applied Jesus Christ's cleansing sacrifice to your life, you've received the Holy Spirit, then you have automatically been put in this position with regards to the power of the self. You now have the power to begin living in the spirit. You can actually eliminate the works of the flesh. That long list that we read, you can eliminate those things and you can add the fruit of the Spirit to your life through self-control. So you no longer have to live that way. You have a new existence available to you. So live in that new reality. Paul wants to make this crystal clear. Go down to verses 12 through 14.

Therefore, brethren, we're not debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh, you'll die. But if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For as many are led by the Spirit of God, these are the sons of God. To stop there. So you're no longer debtors to the flesh. To live according to the flesh. So whatever you've thought up today so far, an aspect in your life where you've been living out of control, I want you to think about that. And I want you to acknowledge something today. Just to yourself, of course. The acknowledgement is this. You no longer have to feel the burden, the pull of that debt in your life. And you can actually and absolutely put to death those deeds. Those deeds of the sinful flesh. What lack of control do you have in your life right now? Here it is. You no longer have to feel the burden, the power, the pull of that debt. You can actually put to death those deeds. Start there. This is a spiritual psychology lesson that Paul's given us. If you go to human psychologists, they often begin with kind of an acknowledgement. And by doing so, there's nothing new under the sun. These are all biblical principles that they're applying. You have to believe first that you've been released from the power of the self. You don't have to fall victim to its demand. New reality. Paul goes on. Paul just talks about this quality. What he's talking about here is self-control. Turn back a few chapters to Romans 6 verse 5 through 12. So we're Romans 6 verses 5 through 12. We're talking about, how can I grow this fruit in my life? We identified what it is, and now we're talking about, where do I start? And I think it really starts with a mindset, an acknowledgement. That'll set the foundation for progress in your life. Progress toward control. So look at this. Romans 6 verses 5 through 12. Paul continues with this new reality explanation.

Romans 6 verse 5, for if we have been united together in the likeness of his death, certainly we also should be in the likeness of his resurrection. Knowing this, that our old man was crucified with him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin, for he who has died has been freed from sin. Freed from his power. I want you to be thinking along those lines. Verse 8. Now, if we've died with Christ, we believe that we should also live with him. Knowing that Christ, having been raised from the dead, dies no more. Death no longer has dominion over him. For the death that he died, he died to sin once and for all, but the life that he lives, he lives to God. Verse 11. Likewise, you also reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Verse 12. Therefore, do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lust. Stop there. Verse 12. That's a big, that is a big statement there. So Paul just got done saying, you reckon yourself dead indeed to sin. It's power. It's sway.

Therefore, do not let sin reign in your mortal body. This is the new reality. So the method by which Christ solved the condition of the debt to the power of the flesh is to bring us into the death with him. So when we baptize individuals, that's symbolic. We're putting to death the old man, the old woman. Christ is bringing us into his baptism, the death of his baptism. And when we come out, it's symbolic of coming out to a new life, a new man, a new woman. So we're united together in the likeness of his death. Right? And when we come out, we're in the newness of his life. So you can look upon yourselves in this spiritual position to being dead to the appeal and the power of the flesh. So it starts with that acknowledgement growing this fruit.

As a side note, Paul is not saying that there's not an inner conflict that's still raging. The conflict is there, and we'll be there for the rest of our lives. But probably Paul's most famous about his description about the inner conflict. He's not saying that the conflict does not exist. In fact, since we're right here, turn over to Romans 7 verses 21 through 25. Paul speaks about this conflict. So he speaks about our reality, our new reality now, but he still speaks about the conflict here. There's absolutely a conflict. But there's a perspective here. Romans 7 verse 21 through 25. This is explained so well. I feel this.

Okay, stop there. So there it is. Who will deliver us? Who provides the power to overcome every desire of the flesh? It's the power of Jesus Christ when he comes and lives in us through his spirit. Sends dominion through the spirit of the flesh. And then he says, I'm not going to give you any more of this. I'm going to give you a moment to tell you what God's intention is. God's intention for you and I is that we're not constantly defeated at the hands of the self. You know, where we just some days we're strong and there we go back, defeated time and time again. That's not God's intention for us. Christ's sacrifice, the newness of his resurrection, our posture has changed. There's no doubt we take hits in this battle against the self. But what Paul's establishing is here we have actually have the power in us to overcome. I hope you know that. So the sin remains. We're still sinful, of course. But it doesn't rain. Sin remains, but it doesn't rain. We're making progress. We're making progress. We're putting on this fruit of self-control. It's growing in our lives. And we're walking in the spirit. That's what this means. We're turning to God and accessing the power within us to resist. It takes practice every day. And as you're exercising it, you'll see that you're getting stronger and you're seeing that the appeals of the flesh and the self are getting weaker and weaker. It's a promise. God is faithful. We read this in the sermonette. There is no temptation that will be given to you that's beyond what you're able to escape. You will not be tempted beyond what you're able, but with every temptation there will be a way of escape. 1 Corinthians 10, 13. So any attempt to bring us out of control, the attempts in this new reality are futile. Aren't they? Every temptation to live out of control living, there's a way of escape. Christ has given us victory over these self-desires. So as we begin to conclude, we didn't get very far, but I think this is an important acknowledgement. One of the first steps in where do I begin in growing this fruit of self-control is to accept that you've been given the power to break any sin, any out of control living that has chained you. I know there is some evil that's been introduced in your life going back to childhood. Each of us have it. It doesn't matter what abuse you have received at the hands of evil. Doesn't matter. On the strength of Scripture, it can no longer control you. You have the power in you to overcome. So when it hits you and you're feeling, wow, I'm too... I don't know if I can resist this. It's been with me so long. Some of our out-of-control living, it's comfortable. We've just had it forever.

You might have to pray for the desire to get rid of it. Even the desire to get rid of it. That's okay, prayer. But when you take a look at the self-control challenges that are facing you, reckon yourself dead to its appeal and to its power. I want you to accept that today. It's essential to accept that truth. And when you do accept that, you'll begin to make progress in growing this particular fruit of self-control. Well, we'll stop there. How important it is in becoming a whole fruit child of God, self-control. May we be resolute and uncompromising this year against the self-desires which are outside of God's intention. May we battle every day to live in the spirit and the reality of that spirit. May we be grateful for the one who delivers us from the power of the self. And may we thank God, just like Paul, that he's given us the power to break every chain of the self through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.