Importance of Child Rearing

Happy Sabbath, everybody! So good to see everybody. We have these beautiful flowers up here. The lilacs. I think those purple ones are lilacs, aren't they? Or not? Okay, don't expect me to say that from up here. Well, anyway, whatever they are, they're beautiful. I always make a mistake on that, you know, because you think something by a certain name, and I don't do well on flowers. Hope you'll understand. Well, marriage and family is a very important topic in the Church of God.

And marriage and family is, of course, what the Church is all about. It's what the Kingdom of God is all about. It has to do, of course, with the future. Because without marriage and family, you don't have a future. I mean, imagine this. In probably about 40 or 50 years, this whole Church would simply disappear if there was no such thing as marriage and family. And so it's important for us to realize that we need marriages that are good and families that are together. And, you know, marriage and family can be such a wonderful thing.

And it can really enhance our individual lives. Not just if you have a family in terms of you have children, because all of us impact one another. Like the poem goes, no man's an island unto himself. In fact, there's a scripture that alludes to that very concept.

Because family really does enhance our lives, again, whether we have children or not. Unfortunately, many marriages in the world are constantly having problems, and their homes can have children who do not bring joy, as God intended them to bring, but misery in terms of stress and headaches. You know, if one of the goals of parenting is to make sure the only thing that doesn't happen to our kids is they don't get put in jail or prison, that's a pretty low bar.

And yet, in some families, that is basically the goal. Make sure the kid doesn't get thrown in jail, and maybe that was what they grew up with, and they avoided that, so they want their kids to avoid that. You know, many marriages also struggle to remain together, and many families simply break up. In ancient Israel, God derided, in fact, the nation when He said that children were their oppressors and that women rule over them. It wasn't what God intended. In marriage, men have a role, and women have a role.

It is not that women cannot have leadership positions, because, you know, the Bible does show that there were women with leadership responsibilities. But the idea of men and women having different roles within marriage is a constant, that in fact, we find the Apostle Paul talking about in the New Testament in the book of Corinthians. But think about this, brethren. If this world only lived by God's laws in His ways, marriages would be happy. Marriages would be happy, and families would indeed be a joy.

It would be a wonderful, wonderful experience for people. Marriage, though, is so important that it must be taken quite seriously. And, of course, two people who enter into a marriage agreement should love one another. I think that goes without saying they should be committed to each other for life. And not merely, as sometimes people get married and say, well, if I don't like this person, I'll simply divorce them and move on. Of course, these days, people don't even get married. They just live together. They shack up.

I don't know what they call it these days. I think it's hooking up, just hooking up. And I guess some people get hooked up for years with one another. And finally, they separate with one another. But marriage, again, is very, very important. I'm not going to talk about marriage, per se, today. Although I'm going to be touching on things related to this, you know, when it regards to children.

Child rearing is such an important duty of parents. Now, why is it important to parents? Why is child rearing so important to parents? Well, you know, it is so important, in fact, and profound, to, in fact, the plan of God that you don't want to leave your children's upbringing, the child rearing, to simple chance. In fact, the Bible says this, and it's proven true over and over again in our society. When we look in the world, a child left to himself will bring his mother to shame.

And that is what happens time and again in this world. And the world is full of parenting mistakes. And not just in the world, but sometimes in the church. Sometimes the world sort of creeps in to the church and impacts the church as well. There have been rings of books written, you know, about child rearing and marriage. I mean, if you want to go and study marriage and parenting, I mean, you be prepared to buy a lot of books. Because there are a lot of books with a lot of theories.

In fact, I read on Thursday, I believe it was from the USA Today, about this very topic, about all the books that are available on the subject of parenting. It's like the Scriptures say in Ecclesiastes, of the making of books there is no end. And that is certainly true. Books that we find on parenting advocate liberal hands-off approach. And we should already know what's going to happen if a parent just sort of takes a hands-off approach to their kids and they don't teach them.

Because the Bible says if you leave a child to themselves, it's going to lead to shame. And then there's the other side where you've got this strict, disciplinarian type of an approach, you know, tough as nails with your kids, almost like they're being in boot camp, you know, at home. And of course, we find that out there as well. But parenting, rather, affects your children's future in a very profound way. You know, my wife and I are talking about coming down in the car.

You know, how do people become the way they are? I mean, I've been meditating on that for the last almost 45 years. How do people become the way they are? Now, and by the way, don't think that I don't think about myself. You know, how did I become the way I am? I think, though, it stems from what Paul said, you know, there in Romans 7, where he talked about how the things he doesn't want to do, he does, and the things he wants to do, he does not do.

You know, when God put in man, he put in him a spirit, and he put that same spirit in every one of us. And, you know, of course, our environment, our upbringing impacts how we use that spirit so that when we grow older, even though we start, when we come out of the womb, we are neutral. But as time progresses, we begin to develop into who we are.

And hopefully, somewhere along the line, you know, we receive the Spirit of God, and if the foundations have been laid, the Spirit of God can lead us to even greater things in our lives. So, anyway, that's my theory as to why people turn out the way they are. And that's what I'm thinking about. That's what I'm meditating on now. But again, parenting affects your children's future in more ways than we can even imagine. It impacts our children and the way they're going to be for the rest of their lives.

It impacts them so much. Let's go to Psalm 78. Psalm 78 and verses 5 through 7. It says, for God established a testimony in Jacob, He established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law, it says, in Israel. And so God appointed His law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children. See, God wants His people to make known His laws to their children, and that the generation to come might know them, that they might be aware of them, as it mentions, and that the generation that is to come after them is going to be born, and that they can arise and declare them to their children.

So, in other words, it's a generational thing, as He's pointing out here, that He wants it passed on from one generation to another, His holy law. In verse 7, that they may set their hope in God and not forget the works of God. And yet, that's what's happened in the world out there. Generation after generation, not remembering the law of God, but forgetting the law of God, getting further and further away from it.

And men are going to become more and more depraved as time goes on. They simply will. There's no way it can happen any other way. So, child rearing is so important, brethren. It affects your children's future, and it affects your personal growth as well. It helps a parent, if a parent is really actively thinking about how they are rearing their children, it helps a parent learn the depths of love.

What love is? I don't think you can know what love is unless you have loved a child. I don't think you have to be a parent to learn to love a child. And I think that anybody that has a nephew or niece can learn that. But it helps a parent, it helps an adult learn the depths of love. It helps them learn patience, how to deal with the topic of patience, as we relate not only to God, but as we relate to one another.

There's a saying, the only thing more difficult than being a teenager is having a teenager. And I think that's certainly true. We went through that in our family three times, by the way. And it is a difficult time. Some are more difficult than others. It shows the inherent differences between children. Another thing, brethren, child rearing has prophetic significance as well in the Church. Because in Malachi, we're told to remember the law of God. Remember, we just read here, that God gave His law to Israel that they could pass it on from one generation to another.

But it says, remember the law of Moses over there, and the laws, and the statutes, and the judgments. And it says, unless the Father's hearts return to their children, and the children of the Father's, God says, I will come and smite the earth with a curse.

In other words, as we understand, that means an utter destruction upon this earth. And so God commands us, He commands us, brethren, to teach our children, even from the standpoint of it being important to the future of all people upon the face of the earth. If we're not conveying it to our children, brethren, the plan of God has failed. But we should understand and know that if it didn't happen in our generation, it happened in other generations of God's people.

So God commands us to teach our children, and fathers, by the way, are in fact specifically admonished to teach their children. In other words, they're not out of the picture. These days it seems like the women are the ones that are totally raising children, rearing children. But God says, and the Apostle Paul reiterates this, He says, and you fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. You know, every morning, by the way, I watch a little program called Leave It to Beaver.

I don't know why I like that program. It's in black and white. And when I wake up in the morning and have my breakfast, after I've done my prayer and whatnot, but I'll watch Leave It to Beaver. That's how I start my day. But there's one woman who has a little boy who's a friend of Beaver, you know, on the program. And any time her son is Larry, any time Larry gets in trouble, he says, she always says, wait until your father gets home. In other words, dad is a big bad guy.

But where's the gentleman from the father? You know, the Beavers dad, by the way, tends to be very gentle in how he deals with his two sons. But, you know, I assume it may lead you to assume that, you know, when Larry's dad gets home, boy, he's going to catch him. I remember when I was a kid growing up, my mother, when she couldn't deal with us anymore with a switch, she would say, wait until your father gets home. But fathers, we are responsible for teaching our children. And we're to bring them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord, not the world. You know, we are to bring them up in God's way of life.

And these, brethren, are the reasons why parenting are so important. Now, there's a lot of examples of parenting in Scripture. And I want to start out, you know, basically with the good examples. You know, we find over in the book of Samuel about Saul. Now, Saul's story started off pretty good. He was a very humble individual. Let's go to 1 Samuel chapter 13. 1 Samuel chapter 13.

This one is not so positive. But in 1 Samuel 13 and verse 14, you know, God tells Saul in verse 14, But now your kingdom shall not continue. The Lord has sought for himself a man after his own heart. And the Lord has commanded him to be a commander over his people, because you have not kept what the Lord commanded you. And so God was telling Saul, look, you're not going to continue because you didn't do what I commanded you to do. You were following the laws of God. Interestingly, in spite of the way that Saul was, Jonathan turned out pretty well, didn't he?

Now, I don't know that Jonathan's going to be in the first resurrection. Maybe he will be. I don't know. You know, God is, of course, the only judge of that kind of thing. But he and David were very close friends. And that may be his claim to fame, you know, that he was a close friend of David. And David, he treated well, even though he was a prince over Israel. You know, he treated David very lovingly and respectfully as a brother. But we go back all the way back to the book of Genesis.

Let's go back to the book of Genesis. And we see a very good example over here. And I'll say about Saul that Saul was okay until he became big in his own eyes. God said, as long as you were small in your own eyes, then, you know, did not not make you king over Israel. But somehow, you know, he got big for his britches when he became the king.

And that's always a danger. When people rise to power, they change, they transform. But here in Genesis 18, you remember the story about how, you know, the one who became Jesus Christ, the Lord appeared to Abraham on the plains of Amamri with two angels and two other angels. And God was going to destroy Sodom Gomorrah, and they were going to go right in. And they weren't going to tell Abraham, but Abraham was an inquiring-minded individual.

Maybe he sensed that things were going to go badly for Sodom Gomorrah. He knew the hammer was going to drop on them because they were living the wrong way of life. But finally, God says, well, you know, I know that I'm going to be able to bring on Abraham the things that I've set.

You know, he was going to multiply his seed. He was going to increase him like the stars of heaven. So I better not hold this back from him. But notice here in verse 19 why God told him. Why he told him. In verse 19, here it says, For I have known him in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they would keep the way of the Lord, and to do righteousness and justice, that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has spoken to him.

Do you realize what God was saying here to Abraham? That he had a plan for Abraham, that he was going to use his seed to make, of course, Abraham into a multitude of nations, a multitude of people. And the reason he could is because of his childry, the way that Abraham was. And I submit to you, brethren, that God will allow us to be in the kingdom based upon our mentality about family and marriage.

What is our attitude toward it? You know, God places a high value on the way we teach our children. He really does. Now, by the way, I'm going to talk about also situations where Abraham didn't do so well. But here, with regard to the way he was teaching his children, and he had other children, by the way, besides Isaac. He had Ishmael, remember. He had others besides. But, you know, of course, Ishmael was not from the loins of Sarah and Abraham. But Isaac was. And Abraham taught Isaac so well that the plan of God continued through Isaac.

And then Isaac did so well that the plan of God continued through Jacob. And this is the way God worked. You know, so we see that there are positive, very positive role models. And we see also through these examples of the good examples. For instance, Timothy. Timothy was a good example. Remember his grandmother, Lois, who had taught him? And his mother over there in 2 Timothy?

Timothy was quite a remarkable individual. And so remarkable, in fact, that he had been taught from a child the laws of God. And Paul brings that to his attention when Timothy falls down sometimes. But Timothy was taught well, you know, by his mother. I think his father was Greek. So it was a mother who gave the instructions. She would have been Jewish, by the way. But his mother and his grandmother took care of him and reared him. His father, as it mentioned, maybe he's even dead. I don't know. We don't know, again, those things about Timothy.

But we know he was taught well. And he became an evangelist, God's service, with Paul and went around. But that's an example of good child rearing, the part of a parent there. Now, there are many examples, by the way, of bad child rearing in the Bible. And I'm not going to take a lot of time to go through and explain them in terms of Scripture.

I'll cite them for you. But I'm not going to go through each one, because it would take too long. First of all, you have Adam and Eve. And from at least the first two children born, they had a 50-50 on Cain and Abel. Cain turned out to be the first juvenile delinquent. He also turned out to be the first murderer. You know, sometimes we think our kids are going to kill one another.

Imagine Adam and Eve, their kids dead! Cain killed Abel. So Adam and Eve didn't do so well with their following along the dictates of the devil, rather than what God had instructed them to do.

Now, I've mentioned Abraham as a good example of a father. But remember when Abraham and Sarah tried to work it out, that Abraham would have a progeny, and they brought Hagar into the picture. And Ishmael was born. You know the story and the account. Ishmael, by the way, the Bible says, did not obey God.

In fact, you'll find a statement by Abraham that said, oh, that Ishmael walked in your ways. So Abraham did well with Isaac. Abraham and Sarah did well with Isaac, but not so well with Ishmael. Not so well. Of course, we could go forward with the story to Isaac and Rebekah. Isaac, you might say, raised in the church, turned out to be a very decent person. And you see that from the very get-go when he married Rebekah. He was 40 years old when he married Rebekah.

Remember when this is the first place that smoking is described in the Old Testament? It says when he saw Isaac that he lighted off his camel. So anyway, I had to throw that in.

Isaac and Rebekah had two children. And of course, I was just being facetious about the camel lighting. Or else he would have had a turbo camel that would speed. Well, I better give up. But Isaac and Rebekah had Esau and Jacob. Jacob turned out well. Esau, not so well. God did not want his children to marry him among the Canaanite women. Isaac did not want that.

But that is exactly and precisely what Esau did. And you can look and see, though, when you begin to read the story of Isaac and Rebekah. You know, in that day there were no Barnes and Noble, by the way, where Isaac and Rebekah could go and read about this particular story. Probably weren't any books available, maybe the Kuneiform writing out of Egypt. But, you know, imagine carrying a book around with papyrus. Imagine how big this book would be, by the way, if it was all papyrus.

Be pretty thick, wouldn't it? You might not be able to carry it around. But things were not readily available. Of course, the Bible wasn't written, even. But Isaac and Rebekah didn't do too well. They played favorites. Esau was a kind of a man's man, and Isaac seemed to take to him. And Rebekah seemed to like Jacob more. Not a good thing. And family, child rearing, rather than to favor one child over another. And to show it, so that both know that one is favored above another.

And yet you hear this type of thing all the time. In fact, I saw a statistic on that. I can't remember exactly what it was, what the statistic was. It tends to vary between men and women. That indeed, even to this day, that men and women play favorites in a family where there are multiple siblings. They played favorites, and Esau did not obey God, but Jacob did. And throughout their lives, up until a particular point, there was a bitter rivalry between the two.

After, of course, the birthright situation arose. Then you have Jacob and Leah. And two of their sons were very violent cutthroats. Deivis planners now all conspired. All of the sons of Jacob conspired together, though, to have Joseph sold into slavery. Judah seemed to have been the most level-headed of the 12. Remember, he was the one that said, well, maybe we shouldn't kill him. They were going to kill him!

Imagine that! They were going to kill Joseph, all of these boys. So again, you see some flaws there. But Judah won out, and they only sold him into slavery. Imagine that. Judah, I guess, maybe had hoped for better. I don't know. But we see, though, that it seems to be a characteristic of Abraham's children to favor one child over another. It happened with Isaac, and it happened with Jacob. Jacob favored Joseph because he was the son of his old age. He favored and prized Joseph, and later Benjamin as well. And of course, this didn't set well with the other 10.

And this is one of the reasons why they conspired to have Joseph sold into slavery. You can read about that, by the way, in Genesis 37, verses 3-4, if you want to write it down. Again, favoritism, not a good practice. You may very well love one child more than another other, brethren, from the standpoint of what they do, or at least favor them. I think we should love our children equally, no matter what they do, but we may be more pleased with one, but we simply cannot let children know that.

They simply should never be made aware of something like that. Then we move from the time of the patriarchs of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob to Eli's sin. And Eli was a judge over his very righteous man, no question about his righteousness, but unfortunately, he neglected to teach his own children.

And they were wicked men. You know, the Bible points out. I'm not going to go over there, but in 1 Samuel 2, verses 12, 22, and 27 through 29 basically shows how his sons turned out wicked. And the reason is that that probably happened, by the way, is being a judge over Israel, you can imagine how busy Eli would have been. He wasn't there. He wasn't there to teach his children, to guide his children. And so it's important for us to realize, again, the Father's role.

And increasingly, unfortunately, in this world, the Fathers are disappearing. I mean, real Fathers. It seems like that more and more the Fathers just sort of fall into the background. And, brethren, just because a Father's a bread-warner, winter does not cause him to abdicate the responsibility of being a Father who teaches his children. So Eli had a responsibility in what he was doing, and God judged him for it. But let's go over to 1 Samuel 3. 1 Samuel 3 over here, about Eli, and show what God did with Eli.

If I could find 1 Samuel, I'll keep passing over here in my book. 1 Samuel chapter 3 and down in verse 11. Just a few verses here I wanted to read to you, again showing, once again, the importance of child-rearing. But in verse 11 it says, Then the LORD said, I'm sorry, we're talking about Samuel now, not Eli, but Samuel. But in verse 11 it says, Behold, the LORD said to Samuel, Behold, I will do something, Israel, at which both ears of everyone who hears it will tingle.

And that day I will perform against Eli all I have spoken concerning his house. Well, we are talking about Eli, but he's talking to Samuel who is going to succeed Eli. From beginning to end. For I have told him that I will judge his house forever, for the iniquity which he knows, because his sons made themselves vile.

And he did not restrain them. He didn't do anything about it. And so God promised he was going to judge Eli's family forever for that. And by that I assume that God would never let Eli's generation to come ever be in any position of responsibility. That generation probably didn't end. There were others that went forward, but they were no longer put in the position, say, that Eli was.

They were never given that kind of responsibility. You find that true, in fact. When you look at what some fathers do, and did in ancient Israel, God says, I'm not going, they're never going to serve me, you know, in the kingdom, in the millennium.

They will never serve at my table. You know, you go, you can read the Scriptures about that. And so what we do, even now, brethren, can impact what God allows us to do. When Jesus Christ returns and sets up his kingdom, our reward might be limited by what past generations did. And I'm sure God, of course, makes a difference when we are called now.

But, you know, I do not know, frankly, what those differences will be. But, of course, we know God is fair in every sense of the word. But, brethren, these examples have shown us that God holds us accountable for our parenting. God holds us accountable. And it is a Christian duty, brethren, not to take this lightly. And we cannot make our children, of course, obey God. You and I can't do that. We can't force them to obey God. But, woe unto us if we neglect our part in how our children turned out, if we neglect them.

You can't guarantee your child will remain in the church, even if you do everything right. Let's understand that. But if you don't do your part, you can make the odds weighted in favor that they will remain in the church. If you don't do your part, you probably highlight like they won't be in the church for the future. I've seen it happen before, brethren. Where I've seen large families.

I mean, ten children. And one by one, they all left the church. One by one. In fact, I've spoken to other elders, and I've said, do you see a pattern here? Do you see a pattern? You know, because in dealing with child rearing and trying to teach parents a little bit more about child rearing, sometimes they reject what you say.

And, of course, people reap what they sow, like the Scriptures say. And, you know, that's when you hate to be a prophet. And you see them fall one by one, like little ten soldiers going into the world. And you know it's going to happen, because the parents are not doing their part. They have not fulfilled their part of the bargain. But over here in 1 Corinthians 7, let's notice here what the promise is from God.

Notice here it says, For the unbelieving husband, 1 Corinthians 7 and 14, for the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. So where even you have in a family one mate who is converted, and if they're doing their part, if they're teaching their children, and they're not advocating that responsibility, those children are going to be considered sanctified as far as God is concerned.

God has to call you. You know, remember what Jesus Christ said? A man can come to me unless the Father draw him. No man! But because our children, if they're in a home where one of the mates is converted, you know, they don't have to be called of God. They're already called. All they have to do is answer the call. That's all they have to do. And hopefully we can lead them to the point where when time comes that they're going to answer the call.

Again, there's no guarantees of that, brethren, but what we're talking about here is stacking the odds in their favor that they'll make that choice. And I will tell you, brethren, that even though we did our dead-level best when we were, you know, our kids were small, to instill into those things, they needed to know we did our dead-level best. When our older boys got 17, 18, in fact, I told my wife when our oldest son, when it came time for him to depart the nest, when he was going to go off to college, I didn't think he would stay in the church.

But lo and behold, he changed. And our prayers were answered because we prayed and prayed and prayed and did all that we could do. I mean, we really did. We anguished. I mean, we... you talked about laying in bed at night, anguishing. But something happened in his brain, a particular point, and I think it happens in every child's mind, by the way, that all of a sudden he sounded like us.

He started transforming. And we give God that credit because we didn't think... In fact, we thought we were the worst parents, even though we thought we were trying to do everything right, quote-unquote. We thought we had done very poorly, in fact. And I think I mentioned this to you before, that our children, at particular points, have told us, you're the worst parents.

So it's not hard to say that we thought we were the worst parents. I think every parent goes through that. Maybe not, but I can tell you, if you've never been told that by your children, they have thought it, whether you realized it or not. But anyway, later, they told us we were perfect parents. You know, but of course we didn't feel so perfect, you know, even after the fact. Reminds me, too, of the teenagers we used to teach in different areas. We had... with young people down in Huntsville one time, there were a whole man in Phoenix. And they... they were not young people anymore, by the way.

They were like 30 years old. They're young to us. There were like three or four of them at our house. They came to visit their old pastor from years and years ago. And anyway, they said, you know, you remember those... those Proverbs you used to go through when we were in... in the... the WIOU Bible studies? I said, yeah. And... and they said, you know, that really helped us a lot. That helped us a lot. And I said, well, I really appreciate that.

And I said, why didn't you tell me then about it? Because I didn't think it helped you very much at all. You know, because you thought that you were teaching kids and they were listening. But let me tell you, brethren, they are always listening. They are always listening to us. So even if you think it's... it's going in one ear out the other, and you think you can see the white smoke coming in over here, and the black soot coming on the other side, it is reaching them.

But our children are special, brethren, and we cannot abdicate our responsibility. They're free moral agents. They've got to choose for themselves, decide for themselves. And whether they do that or not is going to be up to them, ultimately. But, brethren, we want to... as custodians, they're custodians to try to teach them God's way so that the cards are stacked in their favor. Ancient Israel, by the way, had delinquency problems. And I'm not going to go over there, but Deuteronomy 21, in verses 18-21 over there, you know, talk about how to deal with that over there.

It was very rigorous. You'll read about how they had to deal with delinquency. And, of course, this person that was dealt with, by the way, who, in a very, very strong, disciplinary way, that you'll read about over there, would have done atrocious things to deserve the punishment that was given.

But ancient Israel dealt with delinquency at a point where the person was held responsible. It wasn't the mother or the father that was held responsible, but the child was held responsible. And the point I want to make, brethren, is the responsibility that is placed on the son or the daughter and not the parents. So, young people, you have to be accountable at some point along the way. I don't know. Maybe you're five years old, six years old. Eventually, when you begin to put it all together, as soon as you do, young people, as soon as you begin to understand what's being said to you, then God begins to work with you.

Hopefully, you'll start doing what He tells you without somebody having to stand over you all the time, but you're going to do it on your own. And the sooner you can do it, the better. But parents have a responsibility to train up their children, as Proverbs 22, verse 6 says, in the way that they should go. And the Bible says that when they're old, they will not depart from it. So, we have the responsibility to teach our children the truth. And I hope, again, as parents, we are carrying forth with that responsibility. And, of course, whether they take that and run with it depends on them.

The onus will be upon them in applying those things. But God says to the children as well, I said before you, life and death, good and evil. And He says, therefore, choose life. Choose it. And young people, along the way, you've got to choose life in your own life. But you have bad parents, of course, and kids turn out good. I've seen that happen. Amazingly, I hate to use the term bad parents. Let's say bad parenting. They can be very decent people, but just not very good at parenting. But I've seen the parenting being lousy and the kids turn out good.

Let me give you an example of what I'm talking about in the Bible. Hezekiah was a very righteous man. God gave him, what is it, 15 years extra life because he was a righteous man. He added to his life and performed a miracle on top of it. But his son Manasseh turned out evil. Hezekiah's dad, by the way, was not so righteous either. But Hezekiah was a righteous man. But here Hezekiah apparently neglected to teach his child.

And so Manasseh turned out badly. He followed false gods and whatnot. And his son Ammon was an idol worshipper as well. But interestingly, at a very young age, Josiah, remember, was a very decent king. He began to apply God's way of life, I guess, when he was like eight years old, something like that. He began to reign, at least, when he was eight years of age. And he was a righteous man. But Josiah's son or grandson is kind of unclear in the Scripture. But Josiah's son or grandson, Jehoiakim, who became king, was evil.

Both of these, I'm talking about, Hezekiah and Josiah were very righteous men, but their children were not. And so good parents can have children turn out badly, and bad parents can, again, have children who turn out in a good way. And so it's not always, again, cut dry in those things, but like you said, we're talking about stacking the cards in favor that they will turn out in a right way.

I think at the very least, brethren, we want our children, don't we? All of us. We want our children to be good people. Remember, one time I went in and had my income taxes done at H&R Block. I've seen this a number of times since this, but... the person who did my income taxes handed me his business card. And on it, it had his name, and under it, it said human being. It has phone number and all that stuff. And I got a chuckle out of that.

But don't we want our kids to be good human beings? God gives us a spirit and all that, and it helps us to raise us about what the human mind is. But we want our children to at least be good citizens, you know, in the United States and the country, wherever they're living.

And to not be someone who drains the society, but contributes to the society in a very positive way. At the very least, that's what we want our kids to be. And if we're doing the right things, we've got a good chance of that happening.

That's going to happen. You can count on that. That will happen. But again, if we are very diligent in teaching our children, we can have, of course, other things happen for them, which we all pray for and hope for. But like you say, we can stack the cards in favor of them turning to God and doing their part somewhere along the line. Now I want to give you some points, and I'm going to go through these fairly rapidly.

If you want to write them down, you want to number them. I'm not going to number them. But you can number them if you want to. If you want to stack the cards in favor of your kids staying around and your grandkids. By the way, this doesn't just apply to kids. It applies to grandparents, too. Conveying to grandchildren the love that they have for them and so forth. The first thing, I think it goes without saying, but we're going to say it anyway, is love your children.

Love them! They need to see your love and then know that you love them unequivocally. In the parable of the prodigal son, remember, the prodigal son took all that he had, went out and wasted it. And the father did not sit around thinking how much he hated his son because he did that. But we're told that when the prodigal son repented after he'd gone through some hard knocks in his own life, he swallowed his pride and he decided, I'm going to go back and at least work for my dad.

Because he has servants that do him better than I am. So I'm going to go do that. And it says his father saw him afar off and he had compassion on his son. And he ran to him and fell on his neck and kissed him. Who couldn't be happy to see a son come back or a daughter come back? So love your children and show them you love them. Don't wait until they go away and come back to do that.

Show that love to them when you have opportunity. I don't know about you, but when I'm talking to my kids and I want to tell them how much they mean to me, I mean, when the faucet gets turned on and I just hook up some jars because I can put out some water.

And after a while I can't even talk. And you have to say to your children, well, you know what I mean. Or whatever you say to help them understand. But we have to, brethren, show that love. And again, that goes without saying. Next, brethren, discipline your children.

I know that's a foreign word in this world today, but discipline your children. And I'm not just talking about spanking your children, but verbally instructing your children. Sometimes you can chase your children just verbally. And of course you can begin to do that from the time they're born, but obviously verbal is not going to be. That good for an infant if it's negative instruction. But we have to teach our children, no, from the time they're born. So they grow up with that knowledge. They have to be taught a little at a time.

And so it's important for us to discipline our children. And don't, brethren, do things like some people do. The man is to save up all their infractions to really let them have it. But you deal with them as it comes. Because the Bible says, because a sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of man are fully set in them to do evil. In other words, when that character gets set in them, that's why you don't want to wait.

You want to deal with it as you go. Deal with it as you go and teach them along the way. Discipline must be given when it's needed. An apparent can't wait again until several offenses build up because it's bad for character. It gets ingrained easily. So always discipline right away. But, of course, if you're talking about corporal discipline, make sure you do it privately.

For the child's sake, in fact, do it privately and for the sake of others as well. And even if you're going to have to talk to your child sternly, do that privately. Do that in a private way. Hebrews 12, verses 7-11, we can see that God even disciplines us. God rewards us if we do well and we are disciplined if we make mistakes. And so God sets that example for us. And what we should be doing is reinforcing positive behavior on the part of our children with rewards and negative behavior with verbal and sometimes punitive discipline.

And by the way, punitive discipline, where you're talking about corporal punishment, the older a child gets, the less and less effective it is. I think I told you I got a spanking when I got home from late from school one time. It has lasted all my life because I decided then I never wanted to be spanked again. It really helped. It really helped. Now, some kids would rather be spanked than lectured.

I preferred the words a whole lot more than being spanked that way. But it was good for me to learn. I think I told you I came home late periodically, and that's when my mother told me, you're going to catch it when your dad finds out. And sure enough, I came home late, I think it was in the second grade, first grade or second grade. Came home late. I can remember I went by and saw a friend who lived in these apartment buildings, and I thought it was curious to go see what that was like.

But anyway, I got home late. My dad was at the top of the stairs behind the screen door in the kitchen, where I normally snuck in, and he was there. And boy, he let me have it. But I learned that was important for me. And it was a defining moment for my life, I guess you could say. Sometimes that can really help. My parents talked to me, by the way, forcefully too, from time to time, and that helped as well.

But their instruction, of course, was very important. Their example was important to me. Proverbs 13 and verse 24. Let's go to Proverbs 13 and verse 24. Proverbs 13 and verse 24 says, He who spares his rod hates his son, and he who loves him disciplines him promptly. Again, here you find discipline being given promptly.

And we need to clarify what it is we are saying to them they've done wrong. And no penalty should ever be administering if your child does not know what they did wrong. You know, it's just important for you to be able to explain that to them. You don't want to tell them, just take my word for you, you did something wrong. Or, I am doing this because I'm your parent. Just because I'm your parent. Other things we can do is instruct and teach your children.

God wanted Israel, I'm not going to go to Deuteronomy 6 and verses 5 through 7 over there, but God wanted Israel to teach their children. Rising very early in the morning, it says, until the time to go to bed at night. They're teaching their children. And this is what did, by the way, the Jewish people so well. It's because what happened is they instructed their kids, going back, you think, this goes back, what is it? 1450-something BC. The Jewish people have instructed their children.

And of course, Israel had that foundation that was laid. And some of the strongest places of education in the world right now are Israelites stations. I wonder where they got that from.

You ever wonder about that? Well, we should know. They were taught that from the very earliest times when the tribes of Israel were taught. And so all of the Israelite nations have strong educational systems in the world.

In fact, we led the world in terms of education. In fact, the world is so envious of the Jews, and what they do, you know, it's like people say, show me a Jewish person that is not a doctor, and I'll show you a lawyer. In other words, they're all, there's so many more professionals among the Jews. But instruct and teach your children, brethren. Let me give you some things to teach your children. 20 things to teach your children. Respect for authority, number one. Number two, obedience to their parents. Number three, prayer.

Teach them about prayer. Just don't leave it to them to learn that, but teach them. Number four, respect the opposite sex. Number five, sharing. Learn to share. Number six, honesty. Number seven, friendliness. Number eight, self-control. Number nine, teach them the right study habits. Number ten, work habits as well. Teach them right work habits. Number eleven, clemeness. Number twelve, diligence. Number thirteen, punctuality. Teach your children the way to succeed in life is not to get up at the crack of noon, but the crack of dawn.

Punctuality. Number fourteen, drive. Teach your children to drive. I'm not talking about cars either. You can do that, but drive in life. Got to push in life. Number fifteen, resourcefulness. Number sixteen, dependability. Teach them to be dependable. Number seventeen, attitudes in competition. What's the right attitude in competition? You don't want to teach your children to be so fiercely competitive that if the other team wins, it ruins their entire week.

They can take a loss, in other words, or a win gracefully. Number eighteen, financial responsibility. And number nineteen, respect for property. And number twenty, humility. You can add to that if you want to, but there's a lot of things we ought to be teaching our children. Children have the capacity to learn these things when they're younger more than when they get older. And the next point, brethren, here, if you want to number them, is set the proper example in your home.

Set the example of all these things that you're teaching your kids. Set the example because this is the most powerful classroom ever. Because it's every day. Teach them about marriage in the home classroom. And family, teach them about togetherness. Teach them about developing their own personality. We can show them how to serve others by teaching them ourselves, showing them how we serve other people, how we work.

George Santa Anna, who's a philosopher and writer, said this, a child educated only at school is an uneducated child. In other words, let your home be that powerful classroom, brethren. Next, don't wait until children are old enough to begin working with them. Now is the time. Right now is the time. Wait a day, in fact, is a day wasted. Teach them to lay quietly on a blanket in services from the time they're infants.

Learn how to do that. You don't know how to do that. You know, talk to mothers who have done it. Mothers should not be spending all their time in the mother's room. So basically, from the time their children are born until they get to be able to sit up in a chair and pay attention.

And these days, it's getting later and later in life. You know, my child can't sit up until they're 47. No, we want our children to be paying attention in services. Hopefully, by the time they're eight years old, I know our children. I don't want to make it sound like we're the paragon of virtue with this. But when our kids got to a certain age, they wanted the Bible. So they could start reading and following along. I remember our kids coming to us when I was up in Idaho, and our boys were really small. And my wife, if you looked, asked her if she could go dig them out. They were preparing sermonettes. They were preaching to us all the time, you know.

But later more than when they were younger. But not the right sermonette when they got older. But teach them, again, age-appropriate. If a baby gets old enough, they should be taught to play quietly on the blanket. And if you're going to bring toys for children, bring toys that are quiet toys. Books that they can read.

Teach them to read to themselves. Not allowed. Teach them to play in a blanket and not make a lot of noise. And if you can do that, you've done a major, major thing. You know what will happen? You take your child into a restaurant, and other parents will see what your children do, and they'll be amazed. I know. We went through that. I'm sure many of you did. Who taught your children how to conduct themselves in a public situation.

Taught them to sit up and be respectful. So don't wait until they're old enough. You begin working on them right now. And, by the way, don't say, my wife and I don't know what we're talking about. We have three little boys, by the way. You know, little boys have a little bit more of the red cells. Remember? And they go a little faster sometimes than the girls. But, you know, we don't know how to do girls, by the way, but we can do boys.

But girls, I'm sure, have their whole other set of criteria and nomenclature to deal with. But it's probably the same principles. Communicate with your children. Again, you're numbering these. Listen to them and hear them out. And then, when you've heard them out, talk them out. Talk them out until they stop talking. You know, communicate with your children. Next, provide for their physical needs in life. Remember, Jesus himself said it's only natural for parents to give their children good gifts.

A child who asks for bread, you don't give them a scorpion. And Christ used that as an example to show that the Father's no different in terms of, if we ask Him, He will give. And that's what Christ said. If you want, you need to ask and you shall receive. I'm not going to go there, but in 1 Timothy 5, verse 8, it says that one does not provide for his own household is worse than an infidel or an unbeliever.

We know God knows our needs. You know, Christ said that in the model of prayer. He says that our Father knows our needs before we ask. So God's aware of our needs, and we need to be aware of our children's needs and provide for those physical needs in life.

Next, brethren, give gifts to your children. A lot of you young people will love what I'm saying here. Are you paying attention, young people? Are the kids paying attention? Because what I'm about to say could really help you. Give gifts to them. Not just for the Feast of Tabernacles, by the way, but at appropriate times give them gifts for their accomplishments, to show them that you really appreciate them.

Next, brethren, enjoy your children now. Enjoy your children now. It talks about how the children in Psalm 127 are the heritage of God. God lets you take part in. Each of us take part in. And it's as happy as the man who has this quiver full of them.

I always wonder what it would be like to have a dozen kits. I'm not sure you could probably feel it, because you might be numb, if you had a dozen kits. But happy is the man who has a stationwalk wagon full of kits, or a van full of kits. So enjoy seeing them grow and develop, brethren. I don't think there's any greater joy than to see our children grow and develop and change.

And, brethren, don't always be looking at the future, because if you do, you'll be missing the now. And the good thing is about now. It seems like the older I get, the more I like time to slow down. But it seems like it speeds up, doesn't it? Whether you want it to or not. Don't let your kids grow up too fast.

Don't dwell on what kids used to be like, either. Think about how they are now. And hopefully, if you're concentrating on that, then you're going to teach them, so that their future will be ensured if you do your part now. Next, brethren, appreciate your children's efforts. Remember what the Father in Heaven conveyed to His Son? He said, This is my Son, my beloved Son, on whom I am well pleased, when He spoke of Jesus Christ.

So, appreciate your children's efforts. Again, that means if they do something that is good, and maybe sometimes where you can see they just made an effort. They may not have done too well, but they made an effort. You show that appreciation. Next, brethren, spend time with your children. Spend time with your children. Do things with them. Watch them play. How many little children do not say, Watch me, Daddy. Watch me, Mommy. They don't want you to do it. They want to do it. They want you to watch. This is common among children, and this doesn't change. The older they get, the more they desire for their parents to be there.

I remember when I used to go and I'd play softball, I mean hardball, when I was in high school, and I wanted like everything for my father to be there, but he never came to one of my games. But, you know, I understood. He was a working man, and he was gone a lot. And he was always gone when I had a game. But that, of course, I accepted and I realized my mother was not able to go because there were so many in our family.

So oftentimes I might have had my brother there to watch me, my brother who's about three or four years older than I am. So it's important to appreciate your children's efforts. Next, brother, give them the challenge of work that they can handle. You know, there's something they can do. They can rake leaves and maybe clean up the yard.

Have them do that. And say, look, I'll give you a dollar or two, whatever it is, to do that, to get out and do that. I want to see if you can do that. And, you know, I know kids sometimes say, oh, no, I'd rather go play video games, you know. Well, give them something that's not a video game.

I'm sure you don't have to make them play video games, do you? Or other things. In fact, you see more and more older people playing video games. You know, and it's like they're hooked on that. And, of course, this is what the industry wants, right? That's what they desire. Next, brother, let kids be kids. Appreciate the stage in life that they're in. Paul said when I was a child, I spoke as a child.

When I was a child, you know, I acted as a child. I understood as a child, and I thought as a child. But when I became a man, I put away a child as thing. So let them be kids, brethren, when they're kids.

Next, treat your children as individuals. There's no cookie cutter principle with regard to child rearing. Each one needs their own focus. Next, brethren, be fair in consistence with rewards and discipline. This is where mother and father have to work together. Being fair is important to children. And if you don't think that they're thinking anything, if little Johnny gets discipline and Peggy doesn't, you know, for the same thing, that they don't think about it, you've got another thing coming. That's what they do. So be fair and consistent. As fathers and mothers in this, fathers and mothers should work together as a team to not contradict each other in teaching their children. Next, brethren, as I said earlier, don't play favorites.

Those who compare themselves among themselves are not wise. So let's not play favorites.

Next, treat them with respect. Admit to them your mistakes, then they'll see that you're a human being, too. You know, you're Joe Smith, human being, just like you want them to be a decent human being. Respect them. Show them respect. Practice the golden rule that Jesus taught. Next, brethren, have patience with them because parenting is an ongoing process. Have patience with them.

And next, brethren, pray for your children and your mate as well. Pray for your husband or your wife. Pray for the instruction of your mate, you know, that it is godly, that instruction that they're giving, that both of you are instructing in the right way. And pray for strength as well, that you don't give up in the process of trying to teach your children. Pray for wisdom in what you do. Remember, Job prayed for his children in case. You can go back over to Job 1.5. He was praying for his kids. And, you know, you find that you have never a lack of prayer, by the way, when you pray for your children. There's a lot to pray about. And then when you add that, you know, daughters-in-laws, sons-in-laws, then grandchildren and great-grandchildren, you've got, you can spend 30, 45, 50 minutes a day just for the rest of your life, by the way, praying about them. But pray for your children.

Next, brethren, work hard as a parent in terms of being a parent. Work hard. I know it's taxing, brethren, to be a good parent. It's not easy to be a good parent. It's not easy to rise early in the morning and take care of a little one who tends to always get up at 6 o'clock. I don't care what time they go to bed. They're going to be waking up at 6 o'clock or 5 o'clock or whatever time it is. You know, they wake up in the morning, and they're Bucky Beaver, you know. They're like little rabbits, and as soon as any light comes through the window, they grow up, and they get ready to go. Finally, brethren, of all the person might have in their lives, in terms of physical possessions and the things that they might possess, though we do not possess children, children are our greatest asset. They really are. They are our greatest asset. And we have much to gain from them as they from us. And your hard work, brethren, will pay off. God wants all of us to have an opportunity for salvation, and that is in His plan. Help us to make that happen for our children.

You know, God, the Father did not send His Son to condemn the world, but to preserve it through a godly seed or an offspring. So don't neglect your responsibility, because grief comes with neglect. If we don't do our jobs as parents, the cards are stacked against them, turning out rightly. When we do our parts as parents, though, there is more potential of things turning out more wonderfully than we can even imagine that they would be. So, brethren, let's make sure that we are seeing how important child rearing is, not only, by the way, for parents, but grandparents. It's all of us collectively, as a family, help one another as much as we can in this vital area of child rearing.