Understand the Responsibility

Well, last week I began a series on the subject of child rearing, and Dave Rowansby's was scheduled to speak today, but he's not feeling well. Artis is here, but he's not feeling well. He's fighting a very bad cold. His voice is really low. So he said, maybe you should continue your series on child rearing. He suggested a sermon title, a sermon idea, so I decided that was good advice. And so we'll continue with that today.

As we saw in the first sermon last week, the first key is unity at the top, unity between mom and dad. And that has two distinct but closely related aspects, as we covered in some detail last time. And I mentioned one of the greatest things parents can do to benefit their children is to love their mate. Husbands love their wives, and wives love their husbands. When a child knows that the parents are secure and together, and they love each other, they respect each other, and there's a special security and stability that comes into it, and even a sacredness that comes into the relationship.

And when a child hears parents expressing love to each other and respect, there's very little explanation needed to understand God's love. They've seen examples of it all their life, if it's done as it's supposed to be, and of course we all fall short. And that leads to positive feelings about marriage and even sex. They see their parents interact with love and respect, and they have unity at the top, and it gives a certain security. That's the first aspect, and we also considered a second one.

That if they're unified in basic agreement, and they respect each other, and they work together smoothly, their children will tend to feel confident and relaxed. But if they're in disagreement, or usually in disagreement, and arguing and criticizing each other, the child is forced to go between the two and decide which one they want to follow. Well, I like dad's idea, or I like mom's idea, and they're just put in that situation because there are two adults who don't agree, so they both can't be right.

And that leads them to start relying on themselves. They start looking to themselves, what do I think about that opinion? They start judging, and immediately they're into a certain difficulty. And ultimately, they're relying on themselves. And as I mentioned last week, it really doesn't matter whether each one's right or wrong, because they're in disagreement.

And both may have a point in their perspective, but if they're both disagreeing, both points of view can't be right. And I mention, in my experience, is that usually children put in that situation lose respect for both parents and begin to rely on their own opinion completely more and more. And so from there on, they're determining what's right and wrong. And they've actually been put into that situation because their parents are divided. They don't have a lot of choice. Then we discussed about the Ten Commandments that are in two sections, respect for God, first of all, and respect for other people beginning with one's parents in the Commandment to honor your father or mother.

And a child who learns to honor their mother and father and finds it easy to do is actually learning to build right relationships with everybody in their lives, all around them, all the way around. We all agree that it's much easier to respect parents who are happy and work together nicely. You just feel good about that. And it's hard to respect parents who argue and fight with each other. It's just hard to do. You may want to do it, and of course, God says we should do it regardless.

Nevertheless, it's harder, and some people make it easier, and some people make it harder. And kids who respect their parents usually have a head start and go to relationships with everybody else. They understand that relationships are important, and they work with them. They learn how to improve them with their brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles and all the family. And they also learn to get advice and seek help on their decisions and not rely on themselves and their own opinion. That's certainly going to benefit them.

So the first principle in successful child rearing is, as we've said many times, unity at the top. And I mentioned last week that's how the Kingdom of God works. Jesus and the Father are perfectly united. You can't tell any difference between them. They have exactly the same thing. The only difference mentioned in the Scripture between them is Jesus said, My Father is greater than I. That's the only difference. Both are perfect. But he said the Father is greater than I, and I'm sure he's right.

But that's something we may not know much about. And of course, Jesus and the apostles are one. He's completely unified with them, and they represent Him as His representatives. And he prayed that every believer who comes into the Church through their word, through the word of those apostles who were there, would also be one. Just as the Father and Jesus are one.

That that level of unity would be in everybody in the Church. And of course, that prayer will ultimately be answered. We certainly fall short right now. But the Kingdom of God is the perfect example of unity at the top. And today we want to discuss and understand the second key, at least as I've got them put together. And that is to understand and accept the responsibility of being a parent.

That's a big one. And it's bigger than we may realize. When do most people start...when should people begin to prepare for marriage?

I'll give you a hint. It's not after you meet the gal of the guy. It's long, long before. Children growing up experience their family and they experience marriage. They start learning about it by example from day one. The parents model what they would one day be. They themselves would...how many discussions with kids will I get married one day? And they talk about their future and what their hopes are in that regard. And many think about having their own children in future. And it surely wasn't just me that thought when I was growing up, you know, in my family we're going to do things differently. I'm sure I wasn't the only one that had that thought. And I'm sure just about everybody has. Because you were thinking automatically about one day having a family. I think that most children would be in that situation. There may be exceptions, unusual situations, but surely that's the common thought. So ideally, that doesn't always happen that way, children grow up in a happy family hoping one day to have their own happy family. That's just part of it as we grow up and as we take on responsibility that's there. So what are the basics of responsibility of being a parent? First thing I thought I should emphasize is that God intended marriage to be for life. I think that is a very basic principle. Let's go to Matthew 19. Matthew 19 is a chapter where Jesus discusses marriage.

Matthew 19. And I'd like to review Jesus' teaching on marriage for our benefit so that we can gain from His teaching. At that time in Jerusalem and in Israel, there was a controversy between two rabbinic schools.

One of Hillel and the other one of Shema'i. And they lived about a generation before Jesus did. And you're in Matthew 19, but let me go back before we start Matthew 19. Let's go to Deuteronomy 24. There was an argument between these two schools of how to interpret Moses' instruction in Deuteronomy 24 regarding divorce.

And let's just read it so we get the background and we know what the argument was about. Deuteronomy 24. When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house. This is terrible, isn't it? When she has departed from his house and goes and becomes another man's wife, if the latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies, who took her as his wife, then the former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife. After she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God has given you as an inheritance. Now, that was what the argument was about in Matthew 19. That provides the background for us. Now, Rabbi Shammai, as he's called, took a conservative view. You divorce only for serious matrimonial offense, something unseemly or indecent, a serious thing. Hillel, on the other hand, taught the slightest reason. It could be justification for divorcing one's wife. I don't know if he understood burnt toast, but I guess that could have qualified.

That was the dispute, and they are trying to draw Jesus into this dispute. Notice how he handles it. Matthew 19, verse 3, The Pharisees also came to him, testing him, and saying to him, Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason? They're trying to get him into this argument. And he answered and said to them, Have you not read? Now, that's interesting. These gentlemen, if we understand correctly, spent their life reading the Bible, and especially Genesis and the law, and all of that.

So he says, Have you not read that he who made them at the beginning made them male and female? Now, notice in verse 5, let me conclude verse 5, and said. Now, in Genesis, you don't know who said it, but Jesus tells us here who said it. It's that he who made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, he who made them, said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined, that's the new King James Version, to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

Now, as I say, he begins by asking if they remember reading Genesis. Do you remember what God said at the beginning? And Jesus often referred to the beginning on any topic. Mr. Armstrong used to go back to the two trees, and Jesus would go back to the account, In the beginning is given in the book of Genesis. And of course, the two trees are at the beginning of the book of Genesis.

And he did this on the Sabbath, and the beginning is important, because the beginning shows us what God's original intent is. And so it's instructive. And he planned the Sabbath and marriage from the beginning. Those were all part of the beginning, is what he attended. And he said he shall leave his father and mother, and be joined, King James says, cleave.

So people used to say, leave and cleave. But leave, you separate from your family, and you cleave or be joined, permanently joined, to your wife. Was the implication. Now, Mr. Armstrong always included a marriage ceremony. In fact, he began it that way. Marriage is a natural union of a man and a woman, but it's a divine institution ordained by God. God ordained marriage. Man didn't come up with the idea. God ordained marriage. Then Jesus said in verse 6, So then they are no longer two, but one flesh.

Now notice that. He doesn't regard them as two. He regards them as one. So then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, do not let man separate. Now please notice that. What God has joined together as one, man shouldn't unjoin. There's another way to say that. Let man separate. Not let some state official or even the couple themselves. Notice that at this point, he doesn't directly answer their question.

They said, what's the reason for divorce? And he doesn't even go there. He goes first of all to the point what God intended from the beginning, that marriage is to be permanent. And he pointed to what God did at the beginning. So then they are no longer two. In other words, if God joined him, who's going to separate him? Who should separate him? Nobody should. I know there are circumstances where it becomes impossible, and so that's there.

But this is what the ideal is. This is what God intended from the beginning. And that's what he's talking about. So they go back in verse 7. They want to stick to their argument. They said to him, Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce and to put her away? Now please notice that. A couple things here. Their mind's on divorce. That's what they're interested in. And Jesus' mind was on marriage. When you start coming in a certain way, how you address the problem is very important. Jesus was focusing on marriage.

They're interested in divorce. So they asked him, Why then did Moses command? Now please notice they viewed Moses' instruction as a command. Well, we just read quickly. We read Deuteronomy 24. It says, If a person divorces, and if they marry somebody else, and if they divorce a second time, then they may not marry the first spouse.

That's the instruction. There's no command in there. Except that you can't go back to the first one again. But it's all built on what people do. There's no command to divorce, certainly. Or even encouragement to do so. It's a reluctant permission, at best. More accurately, it's a regulation about something carnal people do, and we're going to do anyway. So if you go into that, you're going to go down that road. Here's how you do it. The instruction was to protect wives from capricious decisions by fickle, unstable, immature husbands.

Exactly the opposite of Hillel's teaching. Any cause. They had rested the Scripture to their own destruction. It's really a terrible thing. Look at that way. His mind's on marriage and what it was intended in the beginning. There's his own divorce. Verse 8, He said to them, Moses... Now, He acknowledges Moses' teaching. He said to them, Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce...

He didn't say he commanded, permitted, but from the beginning it was not so. That's not what would God intended. He does not deny the instruction from Moses, but this permission was given because of the hardness of human hearts. And that is made very plain. Divorce was never God's intent. He says through Malachi that he hates divorce. And you can see that reflected in Jesus' words right here. So He says in verse 9, And I say to you... Now, this is a unique teaching style of Jesus Christ the Messiah. And I say to you...

This is the teaching of the Messiah who was sent from God to deliver His words. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery, and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery. The King James word has fornication, but it's understood now to be more than fornication. It comes from the Greek word porna, which is prostitute. It's porneia. Septuagint uses the word in regard to God's relationship with Israel. She did unclean things and went away from them.

The New Revised Standard Version translates it unchastity. And as you can see, the New King James calls it sexual immorality. So Jesus taught that divorce and remarriage for any other reason is to commit adultery. And that's exactly what they wanted to do.

Later, Paul will add some things in 1 Corinthians 7 about people in the church who are the one mate who won't stay with the church. That's a different topic. This is Jesus' teaching, which is the basic intent from God from the beginning. So Jesus taught divorce and remarriage for any other reason is to commit adultery. And that's what they wanted to do. They wanted to argue the reason for divorce. And they wanted to argue about that. Hillel and Shema were debating over what God didn't want to happen in the first place.

So Jesus did not get drawn into their discussions. Now, notice the reaction of the disciples when they heard his teaching. Verse 10, his disciples said to him, If such is the case of the man with his wife, it's better not to marry. If there's no escape, stay out of it. Many fear that today. When I grew up, divorce was rare, even though my parents were divorced, as I mentioned last week.

And most people expected to marry and to stay married. I think many did, and people had criticism for some people who stayed together, and all kind of debate on it. But that was the expectation. You stayed with your mate. Today, there's so much divorce that many don't expect marriage to last.

So they take out various legal things. Well, you know, if we get to the divorce, we already got to plan how we're going to do this. You take that, and I take this, and off we go, and they get it already planned out in case, because it happens so commonly. Today, we're called the throwaway society. It has to do with our mates, too. It's quite a society. So, Christ's teaching is, marriage was intended to be an exclusive and permanent commitment.

One exception, pornea. For a servant of God who is striving to be a peacemaker, who's striving to be poor in spirit, who's striving to be merciful and seeking reconciliation wherever possible with brethren and even adversaries, divorce will be the least preferred option. Jesus makes that very clear. But the disciples said, well, but, whoo, that means you better be very careful.

And that's true. That's true. Verse 11, But he said to them, All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it was given. For there are eunuchs who were born thus and from their mother's womb. And there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men. And there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.

I knew one who never remarried because of a situation. His name was Gerald Waterhouse. And he said, I'm going to stay single. And whatever you may think of Mr. Waterhouse, he's a man of character. He who was able to accept it, let him accept it. This is the teaching of the kingdom of God. Plan to be married for life. Marriage is intended to be for life. Take care to do it right. Don't enter marriage lightly.

That is Christ's teaching. Some will not accept it, he said. He was able to accept it, let him accept it. That's important. Because marriage is so important and intended to last for a lifetime, marriage is not for children. Marriage is for mature adults who will be able to make mature decisions. And that's an important thing to consider.

Okay, so I want to get the first thing, responsibility, to plan to be married for life. And that's going to help your children. That will benefit them, even if there are problems. Actually, is there a marriage that doesn't have problems? Has it ever happened? Because people have various difficulties, and people are people. Some are severe, some are less severe, but everybody's got certain problems you've got to work through. There's another thing. Mr. Armstrong always taught that before considering marriage, a young man, it's not popular teaching today, should be able to support his wife. And he taught that there. He should have his career established, whatever that might be, or profession or trade or whatever.

He's got an income path, and of course today many wives work and help out, and that's fine if that's what the couple decides to do. But he should have a steady income to provide for himself and his wife and his family. It should all be there. Proverbs 24, we're finished in Matthew 19, Proverbs 24, verse 27, is a principle given by Solomon that is the basis of that basic teaching. Proverbs 24, verse 27. In the New King James it says, Prepare your outside work, make it fit for yourself in the field.

Now they were primarily an agricultural piece, community. So get your farm going, get your land, get your income going, get the thing going. Prepare your outside work, make it fit for yourself in the field, and afterward build your house. Now of course you can look at that completely physically, before you put all your money into the house, you get the farm going. But you can also look at it in families. That you get your income going and then start building your house. And the NIV translates that, Finish your outside work and get your fields ready.

After that, build your house. And I should tell you that Mr. Armstrong felt quite strongly, and his whole generation did. Remember, he was born in 1892. And the whole generation of Americans looked at it that way at that time.

And it was important that you get this taken care of and you do it properly to begin with. And that was an important thing. So as I said, he felt strong about that and so did his whole generation. Today's generation views it quite differently. That view, as I said, was common years ago, but today many view it as out of date.

But I think you'll see the wisdom of it, and Solomon even acknowledged it there through the Proverbs. Now God's word contains another responsibility for parents, and that is to teach and train our children. Let's go to Genesis 18. Genesis 18. Of course, that will involve Abraham. Genesis 18. And let's look at verse 16. Let's begin in verse 16. Genesis 18, verse 16. Then the men arose, they were heading down to Sodom, then the men arose from there and looked toward Sodom, and Abraham went with them to send them on their way.

A hospitable host. When they were his guests, he walked them along the road a little bit as they went off to wherever they were going. And the Lord said, Shall I hide from Abraham what I am doing, since Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him?

Can I confide in Abraham because he's going to have quite a future, and I can share this with him. And then he says, verse 19 is the one I want to point to. For I have known him in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the Lord, and do righteousness and justice, that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has spoken to him.

Now, the King James translates that, For I know him that he will command his children and his household after him. I know he'll do that. And they shall keep the way of the Lord.

His children and his household would keep the way of the Lord to do justice and judgment, that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he has spoken of him. The NIV says, For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him. And notice he makes a separation between church and household, because Abraham had lots of servants that he had many people working for.

He will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he promised them. Abraham wasn't only faithful in his service to God, he was also faithful in teaching his children and his household God's ways.

If Isaac and Jacob had turned away from God, the story of the fathers and the blessings would be quite different.

Ishmael and Esau had some respect for God. They had a certain respect for God, but not the same respect as Isaac and Jacob did. Not in the same way. But Abraham taught them, and of course, Ishmael didn't grow up with Abraham. He was away. And Isaac there, Isaac was called a profane man in the New Testament. He didn't respect holy things. Profane means not holy. And so he didn't respect holy things. Jacob respected holy things. Isaac respected holy things. I hope all of us respect holy things. Now, God sent it out specifically in Deuteronomy 6. You know this well, I believe.

I'm hoping when we're done, you'll know it weller.

Deuteronomy 6.

Deuteronomy 6. And you'll remember that chapter 6 comes right after chapter 5.

And chapter 5 is the commandments and the basic thing there where the commandments are given. Now, he says in chapter 6, Now this is the commandment, and these are the statutes and judgments which the Lord your God has commanded to teach you, that you may observe them in the land where you are crossing over to possess, that you may fear the Lord your God and keep all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you and your sons and your grandson all the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged. God didn't talk about eternal life too much yet, but prolonged, when you get to eternal life, it's really prolonged. Verse 3, Therefore, hear, O Israel, and be careful to observe it, that it may be well with you, that you may multiply greatly, as the Lord God of your fathers promised you, a land flowing with milk and honey. Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God is one.

He's unified. Unity at the top. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strengths. That's the commandment Jesus called among the greatest. And these words, which I command you today, shall be in your heart, not just your head, in your heart. The new covenant, of course, is in writing them in the heart. And then he says in verse 7, it's the operative one that we often read, You shall teach them diligently to your children. You shall teach them diligently. Now, fathers in those days used to teach their kid to take care of all the agricultural things, maybe teach them a trade, maybe teach them various things that they would do. That's all well and good. But he says, teach them diligently. Teach God's words, instructions, diligently to your children.

He says, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise up. This means it's providing the relevance to God's instruction and how it applies in this circumstance and how it applies in that circumstance. When our kids were growing up, we tried family Bible studies and they weren't too successful, at least, you know, I think it was the teacher's fault.

But we found it just didn't work as we had hoped. So we decided to try something different. We decided to wait for situations when the kids would say, now, I got this problem. And we'd say, well, let's see what God says about that problem. And so it became kind of a looking into the Scripture to apply it to things that were in their life and they were concerned about. And, for instance, one day our son Jonathan was involved in a fight in a school.

Some kids said, we're going to fight and we're going to do this and we're going to do all that. And he came home and said, well, what do I do about this? Well, let's see what God says about this.

And so we went over there and we talked about God granting favor and to pray and ask for God's direction and ask for God's help in this situation. And he went back to school. This is astonishing. He went back to school and the kid, who was known to be a bully, said, I've decided we should be friends for the rest of our life. Well, good!

And we thought, well, God really intervened there. I mean, God really, we asked God's help and there it was. So our children, they don't always know where it is. But when he comes to a circumstance and they had problems with it, we go back and say, well, in that circumstance, this proverb may be helpful or that instruction from Jesus or that particular application and made it on the practical side so that we could deal with responsibilities there. So years ago, summer camp had the motto, God's ways work.

And we liked that motto, and that was our basic child, wearing God's ways work. And then we found it that way. So it's a responsibility all parents have to teach God's way of life. And you and your family have to work out ways that work for you. Now, I want to mention that teaching children is not simply correction. Godly teaching is mostly positive instruction. It's not just, you know, all the negatives. Shall not, shall not, shall not, shall not. It's a positive instruction. Reading the Bible is positive instruction. The story of David and Goliath and the Proverbs and many, many more. Giving examples of God's blessing in your life.

And you talk about, well, I was in this situation, I had this problem, here's how God brought me out of it. And, you know, you show your gratitude there toward God. And encouragement. All people need encouragement. We all appreciate encouragement. And sincere praise and appreciation are wonderful teachers. When children are growing up. To not just say, you know, don't do this, no do that. But to, we appreciate the way you handle this. We appreciate your thinking on this. And exercise the positive. One of the old management dictums, I don't know how old it is, is catch them doing something right.

Catch them doing something right. They did something right, say, that was great. I appreciate that. That was helpful. And you encourage to do right. It's just a positive way, rather than always being negative or critical or down. Not always finding fault or it's so easy to find ways to find fault. Find something to praise. It's a wonderful reinforcement. We can talk more about that later. I got in a situation when the kids were growing up and I said, Can I do this? Well, I can see a danger. I was worried about this danger.

So I said, No, you better not do that. Can I do this? Oh, helpful. No. I said, Wait a minute here. We got to do something better on this. And I'm thinking, now what happens is I see a problem. And so I'm going to look for a way to say yes. So they come and say, Can I do this? And I say, Yes, but we got a problem.

And here's the problem. So this was helping them to learn to address problems, to anticipate problems, and then address them before you get into it. But I was saying, Yes. And I found that a lot better. A challenge came when Jonathan wanted to jump off the garage roof with a parachute. Made a bed sheet and string. So I've told the story before. So I said, Yes. Our garage was in that place where it had different levels. You could climb up easily on one side and jump off fire on the other side.

So I said, But there's some problems. The distance from the garage to the ground is very short. If you jump, it's unlikely the parachute is going to have time to open. I said, And if it does open, what's going to happen is that'll open up and those little strings, they'll probably cut your arms. And that probably won't happen either because what'll happen is it'll open or it gets stuck on the top and you'll jump down, the strings will break and you won't have any benefit of the parachute at all.

But yes, you can jump. He decided not to jump. That was my biggest test on that other than that, but it was something that was there. And it worked out. Of course, there's a time for correction, too. But even so, explaining the positive outcomes of the correction shows why it's necessary. We once had a problem with one of our children didn't tell us the truth about something. And of course, I addressed it immediately. And later, a situation developed where the truth was in question. Could be true. It might not be true. It could be true. It could not be true. So I said, I want to believe you.

But with the previous episode, you didn't tell the truth. So now I have to have this reservation about what you say because you've bent the truth before. And the child saw that and never, as far as I know, lied again. Because you see it. Direct concept your reputation. You can't believe somebody that lies. And I can always count on getting the truth. Let's go to Genesis 3.

Genesis 3. Verse 9. William and I did not collude. Genesis 3. Remember after they took the fruit? The wife took it first, I guess, and then gave it to Adam. And I always lament how little press Adam gets in this. She says, eat it. He ate it. That's it. Nothing. No discussion. Nothing. Verse 9. Genesis 3. Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, Where are you? So he said, I heard your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked and I hid myself.

It's all your fault, God. I was afraid of you. It's your fault. And God says, Who told you you were naked? Where'd you get this naked idea? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you you should not eat? Then the man said, The woman! He wanted to shift the blame and not accept the responsibility. That's a very human tendency to shift the blame. The woman you gave me, your fault, you hadn't given me this woman, I wouldn't be in this problem.

The woman you gave me to be with, she gave me of the tree and I ate it. And the Lord God said to the woman, He goes, Well, alright, let's see what the woman has to say. What is this that you have done? The woman said, The serpent! The devil made me do it. And now, William read there, in verse 14, where the Lord God said to the serpents, He didn't ask the serpent any questions.

The serpent is already judged. So He just tells them what the judgment was. Verse 16, now He goes next to the woman. Verse 16, to the woman He said, I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception, in pain you shall bring forth children. Now I don't think God added to childbirth pain. I think childbirth pain would be there. I mean, the physics of it are pretty obvious.

But the fact is, she wouldn't grow up in a society led by the Holy Spirit, because the tree of life was freely available. They could have had the Holy Spirit. And husbands would be led by the Holy Spirit, and wives would be led by the Holy Spirit, and it would be a much happier place. Now you have to worry, are your kid going to be killed? Is your kid going to be kidnapped?

All the terrible things, the pain of society today. I saw when we came in, there's a memorial for this soldier. And he's 31 years old, two children. He was killed in Iraq, and there's a memorial here in the other hall, I guess, or another hall. I mean, that's got to be painful. Terrible pain. I think that's the pain he's talking about. I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception of pain, you'll bring forth children, and your desire should be your husband, and he'll rule over you.

He won't be the nice guy led by the Holy Spirit. He'll be another guy. All right? Then it says in verse 17, Then to Adam, he said, and he goes right back up the line. He went down the line, and I was going back up the line. Then to Adam, he said, Because you have heeded the voice of your wife. So he judges Adam. Adam couldn't shift the responsibility. God doesn't buy that. Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of life, of which I commanded you, saying, You shall not eat it, we're going to have trouble with the ground, we're going to have trouble with it, and then we're going to head back to the grave too.

That's basically the long and the short of it. Adam and Eve both tried to pass the blame, but it didn't work. Each was responsible for their individual actions. And as I said, the sermon was already judged. Let's go to Deuteronomy chapter 21. Deuteronomy chapter 21. Here's an instruction in the book of the law. This is called the book of Deuteronomy.

Deuteronomy chapter 21, beginning in verse 18. And the lesson was that parents are to take responsibility for a stubborn and rebellious son. If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, he's out of control. They have lost control. Who, when they have chastened him, will not heed them. Then he's not keeping the commandments on your mother and father, is he? Then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elder of the city, to the gate of the city, and they shall say to the elders of his city, This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious.

He will not obey our voice. He is a glutton and a drunkard. Then all the men of his city shall stonen to death with stones, and you shall put away evil from among you, and Israel shall hear and fear.

The man should not remain in God's assembly. You can't have stubborn and rebellious people walking around that are selfish and take for themselves. You're going to have crime of every kind. You've got to deal with it.

And who is to deal with it first? The parents who are the first to see it and the first to know it. Let's go to Hebrews 12. Hebrews 12. I hope you'll find this part encouraging because God does take responsibility for his child-rearing. Hebrews 12 starts off about Paul admonishing people to stay faithful, to remain faithful. And he says in verse 5, I have forgotten the exhortation, Hebrews 12.5, which speaks to you as to sons.

My son do not despise the chastening of the Lord. Now the Lord is going to chasten. He says, don't despise the chastening of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by him, for whom the Lord loves he chastens.

To have God working with us, directing us, and even chastening us is love, for whom the Lord loves he chastens, and scourges every son whom he receives. Every son gets something. I mean, you know sons. We all need extra direction. And scourges every son whom he receives. If you endure chastening, God deals with you as his own sons. For what son is there whom the Father does not chasten? But if you without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons.

If God takes no interest in you, you are not his son. Furthermore, we had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits, and live the Father of spirits, the one who can actually father spirits, including people entering eternal life?

For they indeed, for a few days, chastened us as seen best to them with their best understanding. In my experiences, most parents try to do their best, but sometimes they're not trained and not taught, and so they have troubles. For they indeed, for a few days, chastened us as seen best to them, but he for our prophet, that we might be partakers of his holiness. His goal is to build holiness. Now, no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, and all the congregations said, Amen. Now, no chastening seems painful for the present, but painful. Nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. God trains his children, and we want to follow his good example.

James said that the teachers will receive a greater strictness. Teachers get more closely watched. There's a priestly example that I take very seriously. If you look at 1 Samuel 2. And let's begin in verse 12. 1 Samuel 2. Now, the sons of Eli were corrupt, is the new King James word. They did not know the Lord. Now, when you've got priests or ministers who don't know the Lord, you're in trouble. Now, the sons of Eli were corrupt. They did not know the Lord. And the priest's custom with the people was that when any man came to offer a sacrifice, the priest's servant would come with a three-pronged flesh hook in his hand while the meat was boiling. Then he would thrust into the pan or kettle or cauldron or pot, and the priest would take for himself all that the flesh hook brought up. So did they in Shiloh to all Israel who came there. And also, before they burned the fat. Now, let me just read you what Soncino says about that. The priest's rightful share of a sacrifice was the breast and the right thigh.

Leviticus 7.34. The sin of Hophni and Phineas was therefore twofold. They indiscriminately took of the flesh of the sacrifice, and they demanded flesh before the parts were consecrated to God had been burned in the altar like the fat. And before they burned the fat, the priest's servant would come and say to the men who sacrificed, Give meat for roasting to the priest, for he will not take boiled meat from you, but raw. He wanted a barbecue.

And if a man said to him, They should really burn the fat first, then you may take as much as your heart desires. He would then answer him, No, but you must give it now, and if not, I will take it by force. Charming young men.

Therefore, the sin of the young men was very great before the Lord, for men abhorred the offering of God. They didn't want to go to the temple and offer. That's terrible. Eli had lost control.

Verse 22.

Now Eli was very old, and he heard everything his sons did to all Israel, and how they lay with the women who assembled in the door of the tabernac of the meeting. In the San Sino commentary, they said that we can barely believe that that happened. Obviously, it's in God's Word, it happened. But they found difficulty that priests could get so far away. And they were hoping there was some other explanation, or maybe there was something wrong with the Hebrew.

They didn't go that far. But they were astonished at that. So Eli said to them, his sons, Why do you do such things, for I hear your evil dealings from all the people? Everybody's telling them that. No, my sons, for it's not good report that I hear. You make the Lord's people transgress. If one man sins against another, God will judge him. But if a man sins against the Lord, who will intercede for him?

Nevertheless, they did not heed the voice of their Father because the Lord desired to kill them. Now, God got to the point where he said, We've got to do away with these guys because they're messing up my temple. Now, Eli should have taken them, shouldn't he? They don't obey the voice of the force of the mother. They're gluttons, they're drunkards, and dealt with it. And he did not. Verse 27.

I mean, that's pretty straight.

I will honor.

And all the descendants of your house shall die in the flower of the age. Now, this shall be a sign to you that will come upon your two sons, Hophni and Phineas. In one day they shall die both of them. Then I will raise up for myself a faithful priest who will do according to what is in my heart and in my mind that I will build him a sure house and he shall walk before me forever. And it shall come to pass that everyone who is left of your house will come and bow down to him for a piece of silver and a morsel of bread and say, Please put me in one of the priestly positions that I may eat a piece of bread. And then that's quite a story there, isn't it? God treats the priests with greater strictness than he does the regular Israelite. But God was not pleased. And John Barbourge told me once that he saw a priestly chart. He has a bookstore there where they had the line of all the priests going down. But it's still even to today. And where Eli is a big white spot all the way down the chart. And it's a very graphic representation that God kept his word. That line did not go on. That would do such...so dishonor God and dishonor and do such problems. The terrible, terrible thing that happened there. In fact, God says, look, verse 10 of chapter 3, Now the Lord came and stood and called, and said at the time, Samuel, Samuel, and Samuel answered, speak for your servant, ears. Then the Lord said to Samuel, behold, I will do something in Israel, at which both ears of everyone who hears of it will tingle. And he talked about Eli. Verse 12, And that day I will perform against Eli all that I have spoken concerning his house from beginning to end. For I have told him that I will judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knows. Because his sons made themselves vile, and he did not restrain him. All he did was talk to them. Talking isn't enough sometimes. Therefore I have sworn to the house of Eli that the iniquity of his house shall not be atoned for by sacrifice or offering forever. God was really upset with the way those young guys handled himself. There are sober responsibilities in child-rearing. First of all, we want to do all we can to maintain our marriage. What God has joined together, don't let men unjoin. And we want to prepare ourselves financially before you marry and start a family. And we want to accept the responsibility to teach and train our children. In Israel, when you think about it, God appointed all the parents as teachers. And you shall teach your children. That was all the parents who were appointed for children. They were to teach their children God's way of life. And it's a wonderful blessing to be able to do that, to be given that privilege. When we do it faithfully as best we can, and we all are imperfect, it builds sound families. It builds communities, and it builds strong nations. And there's something even more important than that. If you look at Leviticus 26, verse 9, Leviticus 26, verse 9, that's the blessings. If Israel followed God's blessings. And I'll just pick up the last part of that. He says in verse 9, For I will look favorably on you. Can you imagine a nation that God looks favorably upon? I hope He looks favorably on all of us. And make you fruitful, and multiply you, and confirm my covenant with you. You shall eat of the old harvest, and clear out the old because of the new. And notice this, I will set my tabernacle among you. I will live where you are.

And my soul shall not abhor you. I will walk among you, and be your God. He wants to be in a community of people who follow God's ways, who teach His principles, and that He could fellowship with and walk among. And I will walk among you, and be your God, and you shall be my people. Brethren, as you know, there's no greater blessing than having God as your God, and having Him regard us as His people.

And part of that is that we teach our children diligently, and talk of them, and instruct them, and raise them, as the old King James says, in the fear and admonition of the Lord.