Learning to Forgive Ourselves

Well, I've been reading the book of Genesis this week. I've been trying to keep up with the reading list, too. And I've also been reading the Gospels in recent weeks. And, like all of us, when we look at this and think about what it is we're reading, I'm sure you agreed with me that we're so often reminded of just how wonderful a blessing it is to have God's forgiveness. Just wonderful blessing it is, God's forgiveness. When we confess our sins to God, our Father, repent and ask for God's forgiveness through faith in Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ sacrifices shed blood for our sins. God says He will forgive our sins. Let's look at a few verses as we remember this wonderful, wonderful blessing. 1 John 1, verse 9. 1 John 1, verse 9. And here we read an assurance. 1 John 1, verse 9. If we confess our sins, He, God, is faithful and just to forgive us. God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Emphasis on the word all. Also, Isaiah 43, 25. I'm just going to run through these with you, and if you don't quite have time to get there, I'll read it for you. Isaiah 43, verse 25. Isaiah 43, 25 tells us that when God forgives, He completely blots out our sin and He removes the guilt, our guilt. Isaiah 43, 25. Even I am He who blots out your transgressions for mine own sake, and I will not remember your sins. That's a wonderful thing. In Psalm 103, Psalm 103, verses 2 through 4, Psalm 103, verse 2 through 4, David, Psalm of King David, he wrote this urgent request for us that we need to praise God. Verse 2, looking at some of these verses, verse 2, he says, Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits, who forgives all your iniquities, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from destruction, who crowns you with loving kindness and tender mercies. And then if we look down a little bit more to verse 10 through 11, David makes clear, David knows something about sin and God's forgiveness, and he writes verse 10, He God has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities. For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.

Only God can forgive us in such a way. And so we should be aware that we do not need to be burdened by sin, or shame, or by doubt, or by guilt that sin causes. Of course, just as God forgives us, what does God expect of us? He expects us to forgive others. Let's look at Matthew 6 verse 12. I'm setting up the direction we're going to take today. Matthew 6 verse 12. It's no surprise that since God wants us to become like Him, He expects us to be developing His righteous character. He also expects us, then, to practice forgiveness. Matthew 6, 12. I'm just going to read part of this outline, what was often called the model prayer. Here we read Matthew 6 verse 12. Jesus taught how He taught the disciples to pray, and among the things He said we should pray about was this verse 12, that we pray, God forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. And then He lends more emphasis to this same idea down in verse 14 through 15. In Matthew 6 verse 14 through 15, Jesus added, For if you forgive men their trespasses, meaning their sins or the misdeeds, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. And so the point is that we cannot expect God to forgive our debts, the penalty we owe for sin, if we are not practicing forgiveness towards others ourselves. We must forgive. We must be forgiving. And though we human beings may not forget how someone has hurt us, because we are human beings and some bad things we typically don't forget easily, despite that we can choose to cancel another person his or her sins against us, as it were, by putting away grudges, by treating the person as if we've forgotten, excuse me, as if we've forgotten the hurt they've done towards us. Now we've all, I'm sure, have heard many sermons about forgiveness, and this is going to be another one. But today we'll consider that aspect of forgiveness that can seem so very daunting and difficult, and that is our need to forgive ourselves, to forgive ourselves. Our need to unburden ourselves from sin and guilt, and trust totally in God's forgiveness. So my purpose today is to encourage us to forgive ourselves, and the good news is with God's help we certainly can. And so the title of today's sermon is Learning to Forgive Ourselves. Learning to Forgive Ourselves.

So as we've already made a foundation here in the introduction, practicing God's way of forgiveness must become a very vital part of how we think and live. Yet how many times have we heard people say, and I've probably said it myself, it's so much easier to forgive others than it is to forgive myself, ourselves. Now how do we know when we need to forgive ourselves? What are the signs or any indications? How do we know we're in a place where we really need to step back and look at ourselves and think about forgiving ourselves? Well, an obvious indication would seem to be if we have this recurring sense of shame, this recurring sense of guilt that we keep feeling. May we keep going back to something a long time ago that we've prayed about and asked God to forgive us, it keeps coming back and keep dwelling on it. And that happens. We could have confessed our sin to God, we could have repented, we could have asked for his forgiveness, and even after we've practiced reconciliation with others according to God's direction, and surely done so. Even that, despite doing all those good and right things, we can still struggle to be rid of that brooding awareness of a past sin. It hovers there. It's something we can't seem to stop dwelling on. It's something we can't stop feeling guilty about. We keep dredging it back up. Now, not all guilt in and of itself is a bad thing. A healthy sense of guilt is that little twinge of conscience. Some of us parents are pretty good at teaching that, how to use guilt in the right way, while this grew up with a guilt in, you know. But guilt can be a good thing. Guilt can prompt us to guard our thoughts and actions, maybe guard our tongues, that the twinge of conscience I'm talking about. Guilt can help us recognize when we need to repent of something. We did something wrong. I need to turn and change. Guilt can help us recognize we need to do the right and godly thing. But guilt should not become that recurring worry, that constant fear and dread that we've committed something so terrible, whether real or imagined, we can never get over it. That somehow God just won't forgive us for that.

If we don't learn to forgive ourselves and stop dwelling on those old sins we've asked God to forgive, the problem for us can be that our guilt can lead us to bitterness, can lead to constant anger with ourselves, it can even cause us to begin to despair. We can so dwell in a past sin that we keep making ourselves miserable with feelings, those old shame, that old guilt, that old doubt. We can even begin to think that we might even have thought, well, no one has sinned like I have sinned.

My sin is worse than others. We may even think I'll never get over the terrible things I've done. But that's not God talking to you. That's our conscience, our self-centeredness, perhaps. Such thoughts are not true. It's really not sound thinking, according to what Scripture tells us. You see, guilt is not the mindset God wants us to have.

Guilt is not the mindset God wants us to have. We know, of course, Romans 3, 23 tells us, all have sinned. All have sinned. And we're also told in Ecclesiastes 1 verse 9 that there is nothing new under the sun. We may think we're the worst sinner ever, but we're not. And not even all that self-loathing we sometimes feel is that unusual. Every human being feels that way at times. The challenge of forgiving ourselves then is nothing new. It's nothing unique to you or me. We've all experienced it. It's a very human thing, even as Scripture reveals.

Forgiving oneself, in fact, we're reading, a lot of us were reading in Genesis this past week, the end part of Genesis. Forgiving oneself, in fact, isn't subject that appears in the account of Joseph and his brothers. Maybe they'll be refreshed in your mind. Of course, we remember Joseph was the favorite son of his father Isaac. Joseph didn't get along with his brother so well, though, did he? He kind of rubbed them the wrong way.

In fact, his brothers actually, through Joseph, he's only 17 years old. Not that I'm thinking any of us have been tempted to do this to our teenage brothers, but who knows? We should not do that. Do not do this at home. But his brothers actually took Joseph 17 years old. They threw him in a pit.

And worse than that, they planned to murder him. But then they had an opportunity to do what? Make a little coin, make a little silver. So they sold him. And the brothers then did something really terrible. Do they know how terrible this is? And then the brothers then deceived their father into believing that Joseph had been eaten by a beast.

They showed his torn-up cloak, his tunic, his coat covered in blood. Let their dear, loving father think that his son had been eaten by a beast. They knowingly did that. That's pretty bad. Joseph became a slave in Egypt. And yet, through all these terrible trials, including false accusation and imprisonment, despite all that, Joseph, with God's help, remained faithful to God. And the account is very full in showing us how God blessed him. And then, of course, Pharaoh needed someone to interpret a meaning of his dream. Somebody finally remembered Joseph, brought him before Pharaoh, interpreted the dream about the seven years, good years, seven years of famine.

And Pharaoh made Joseph the most powerful man in Egypt under him. And Joseph then became responsible for saving Egypt. It's a familiar story. It's very important because it plays into this idea of forgiveness and forgiving oneself, as we're going to look at now as we go on. You see, the topic of forgiveness appears—let's be turning to Genesis 42 now. The topic of forgiveness appears when Joseph and his brothers were reunited. It took a while to get there in some ways, but it's really about the point where they become reunited. The brothers had come in to buy wheat for their families, but they didn't recognize Joseph, but Joseph knew them immediately.

Let's read Genesis 42, verses 7 through 8. Joseph saw his brothers and recognized them, but he acted as a stranger to them and spoke roughly to them, harshly, my footnote says. And then he said to them, where do you come from?

And they said, from the land of Canaan, to buy food. And so it was that Joseph recognized his brothers, but they did not recognize him. Of course, Joseph could have cruelly punished his brothers because he had that power now. Vengeance could have been his, but he did not choose vengeance. Instead, he tested them. He accused them of being spies. And the purpose seemed to be able for him to discern their thoughts and attitudes. He wanted it seemed to know what was in their hearts. He wanted to know what kind of men his brothers had grown into over the years.

And what we discover and what Joseph discovered, let's look at verse 21 through 24 now. What Joseph discovered many years later, though many years later had passed, he discovered that his brothers still felt, well, perhaps now they felt, they felt guilt. They felt remorse for their sin against him. It's hard to see that when the event happened, but through the years we can see that they came to feel guilty and remorseful. Verse 21. And so then the brothers said to one another, We are truly guilty concerning our brother, for we saw the anguish of his soul when he pleaded with us, referring back to the time when they sold Joseph. We saw the anguish of his soul when he pleaded with us, begged us, and we would not hear. Therefore this distress, this present trouble, they claim now, has come upon us. And Reuben answered, saying, Did I not speak to you, saying, Don't sin against the boy, and you would not listen? Gives you a sense the brothers are already trying to cast blame. Well, I told you, why didn't you listen to me? That happens sometimes when we don't forgive ourselves and we certainly aren't willing to forgive others. Therefore, behold, his blood is now required of us. They're trying to make sense of how this is happening and why. Verse 23. But they did not know that Joseph understood them, for he spoke to them through an interpreter, and he turned himself away from them and wept.

When it comes to forgiveness and forgiving oneself, what we see here, what we can begin to see is that both Joseph and his brothers were still being tormented by the painful memories of the past, that past sin. They hadn't come to a place of dealing with it in the correct way, in the godly way. Now let's go to Genesis 45. Joseph, of course, eventually revealed his identity to his brothers. In doing so, he also made clear, he made very clear to them, that he had not forgotten what they had done to him. He had not forgotten. Genesis 45 verse 3.

And then Joseph said to his brothers, I am Joseph. Does my father still live? But his brothers could not answer him. Why not? They were dismayed.

If you look up the meaning of that word, it can mean distressed. It can actually mean terrified.

They were dismayed. They could not answer him, for they were dismayed in his presence. They were shocked. They were scared at the same time. It was as if Joseph were back from the dead. They never expected to see him again. Continuing to verse 4. And Joseph said to his brothers, Please come near to me. And so they came near. And then he said, I am Joseph, your brother, whom you sold into Egypt. He hadn't forgotten what they had done, and now they knew it too. But again, what becomes amazingly apparent is that Joseph was not vengeful. He was forgiving. He was forgiving. And at the same time, and this is important to my purpose today, our purpose today, at the same time he was forgiving, Joseph did not want them to be angry with themselves. He did not want them to be blaming one another. Instead, as we're going to see, he wanted them to forgive themselves too. He wanted them to practice forgiveness towards themselves. And to that end, he also explained why God had allowed his suffering. There's a bigger picture, a bigger purpose involved that went beyond Joseph and the brothers. Verse 5, verse 5. Genesis 45 verse 5. But now, he said to his brothers, do not therefore, because I've terrified you and I've just revealed myself, but now do not therefore be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life.

So we can get the sense that Joseph's forgiven them, and it seems that he was trying to make it easy for his brothers to forgive themselves. In a very basic way, he's practicing the principle of Matthew 6, 14 through 15. We just read that in the beginning of the sermon. In essence, saying, forgive, and you will be forgiven. Moreover, if we continue now down to verses 6 through 8, keep reading. Joseph explained that they didn't send him to Egypt. You weren't the ones that did this. God did, he tells him. Verse 6, for these two years the famine has been in the land, and there are still five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvesting. And God sent me before you to preserve a posterity for you in the earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So now we can say, therefore, because of this, he wants them to understand, it was not you who sent me here, but God. And he has made me a father to Pharaoh and Lord of all his house and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt. And so again, to ease their sense of sin and guilt and motivated by God's kindness and mercy towards him, Joseph is explaining to his brothers God's larger purpose. Back in the day, we used to talk about knowing the bigger, the big picture. Remember that? We talked about that in God's plan of salvation. In a sense, Joseph has explained it to them, their little bit of that big picture of their time. So he's explaining to the brothers God's larger purpose and what God had allowed to transpire and to help them understand how God had caused their past actions to work for good. And so the thing we can draw from this, the point we can draw from this, God can and does the same for us. He can turn whatever bad we did into something good for ourselves and others if we will allow him to and if we will come to a point where we can begin to forgive ourselves and not keep beating ourselves up for whatever it was.

We do not need to continue to be angry with ourselves. We don't keep rehearsing and wallowing and past sins and terrible mistakes we made. That is not the mindset God, our great and loving God, has called for us to have. We need to place our trust in God who forgives and works things out for good. He did it then. He's still doing it now. Now, did the brothers ever struggle to forgive themselves? Was it an easy thing? Was it just forgiving ourselves? Is something as simple as saying, I forgive myself? No, it's not been my experience. It's something that's a process. It's something we have to keep doing. We have to keep working on. We have to keep asking God to help us do that, let things go. Because we know how our minds work, don't we? You think you've got it stuffed away and here it pops out again. It's like an overstuffed suitcase. How do you do that? I don't know. It's hard. Did the brothers ever have to wrestle again with any fears whether Joseph had truly forgiven him? Did they ever doubt? Now, did Joseph really forgive us? It's kind of kin sometimes. We might say, did God really forgive me? Yes. They've struggled with that. And Joseph truly forgiven him? Forgiven them? Well, their trust in Joseph's forgiveness was shaky. Let's be turning back to Genesis 50. It was shaky. That's why after the death of their father Isaac, 17 years later, their father died after they came into Egypt. And the brothers approached Joseph with what appears to be a story. Most scholars think this may have been something contrived they came up with so they could send a message to Joseph about remembering to forgive them. It seems to be a story with the purpose of guaranteeing Joseph's forgiveness. Let's look at now Genesis 50 verse 15 through 21.

When Joseph's brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, perhaps Joseph will hate us and may actually repay us for all the evil which we did to him. You see, they hadn't forgotten either. Sure. They hadn't quite forgiven themselves. It would seem. They're sure not sure if Joseph's forgiven them. And so they sent messengers. They didn't go meet him face to face. Maybe it was protocol wouldn't allow it, perhaps. I don't know. But they sent messengers first. So they sent messengers to Joseph saying, Before your father died, he commanded, saying, Thus you shall say to Joseph, I beg you, please forgive the trespass of your brothers and their sin, for they did evil to you. Now please forgive the trespass of the servants of the God of your father, the brother said. In Joseph's response, Joseph wept when they spoke to him. Eventually they come to him face to face. And they talk. Verse 18. And then his brothers also went and fell down before his face. And they said, Behold, we are your servants. A very humble spot contrite, sincere of heart. And what did Joseph do? This is why I like this story so much. It's not just a story. It's history. This actually happened. What did Joseph do? He again patiently tells his brothers what he had told them 17 years earlier. He told them this when they came into Egypt with his father, he tells them again. He reassured them of his forgiveness. And once more he tells them that God had turned their evil intentions against him into good. He's wanting them to believe it. To believe it. That's not like something we need to do. To believe the forgiveness. To believe that there's a bigger plan God has in mind. In verse 19, so Joseph said to them, Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God? You know, let God deal with the judgment. I'm here. I need to forgive. But as for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring it about as it is to this day, as it is this day, to save many people alive. Now therefore, do not be afraid. Let go of the fear, the guilt. I will provide for you and your little ones. And he comforted them and spoke kindly to them. Other translations mean, kindly means he spoke to their heart. He spoke to their heart.

Joseph, we see, trusted God, and he understood and accepted God's purpose in the events and suffering personally in his life and in the life of his larger family. He understood that so that God would preserve them from the famine. God had special blessings he was intending to give to the descendants of Abraham. No doubt they knew this. Now they were being forced to believe it and trust God. And so he urged his brothers to trust God and to believe and accept God's larger purpose for them. And that meant that the brothers also needed to cast off their fear, their guilt about the past. They needed to forgive themselves. They needed to trust fully in God's mercy and blessings. This is a very good lesson for all of us. When we repent of our sins, we know we do that through faith in Christ's sacrifice, and we have asked God to forgive us, well then we need to trust that God has forgiven us. We need to trust that. We must choose to believe it and choose to quit doubting it. And more than that, and this is what we learn from the account of Joseph here, more than just being about ourselves, we also need to encourage others, our brothers, our sisters in Christ, and those who do not know fully about Christ. There's all sorts of people in the world beating themselves up because of bad things they've done. We need to encourage others to put aside their guilt, to believe and trust in God's forgiveness. We need to help others encourage them to choose to forgive themselves, too. It's a very wonderful lesson than the account of Joseph and his brothers. So no one needs to be forever burdened by guilty feelings, fearful doubt. We can enjoy that true inner peace that comes from God.

Now, more lessons regarding our need to forgive ourselves can be drawn also from the New Testament. We're going to look at the life of Peter for just a bit.

Peter provides us lessons about forgiveness and learning to forgive ourselves as well. Of course, Peter was devoted to God. He was devoted to Jesus Christ. He was a rock, a living stone, especially in that of the early church. And he proved himself faithful in teaching Christ's gospel message. And yet many Bible commentaries tell us that he died a martyr's death, being crucified upside down, they claim, in the city of Rome. Sometime, they narrow it down to sometime between 64 and 68 AD is a date many times we'll read. And so, in many ways, we might want to aspire to be like Peter, to be so devoted, and dedicated, and loyal, and faithful to God and Christ. And yet, we consider the early life of Peter, what we learn about him as he comes to be with Christ, those three and a half years of Christ's public ministry. We can quickly see that Peter, yeah, he really was human. He was very much like us. Sometimes we can look at the saints, the faithful of God's Bible, and think, oh, I can never aspire to be like them. Well, why not? They're just human like you and me. That's exactly what we can be. It's exactly what we can do. We have to believe it and then practice God's way of life. And so, Scripture records that earlier in his life, Peter at times tended to trust too much in his own opinions. He tended to trust too much in his own actions, the strength of his own will. Now, I'm not here to denigrate Peter by any means. I'm here to show just where he began, where he was, and where he went, how he ended the race, you might say. We already saw how he ended the race. But I'm here to encourage us to see that great saints like Peter also struggled with things we struggle with. Now, those moments when he trusted too much in himself, his own opinions, and actions, those would be moments, as we'll see, that likely caused him to feel shame and guilt afterwards. He felt bad about it afterwards. Things, they're probably things he may well have thought, how can God forgive me for what I've just done? Will God really forgive me?

But we're going to see, let's be trained in Matthew 14. What we're going to see is that Peter was able, the evidence is clear, that he was able to forgive himself. And again, we can draw lessons from the accounts we have in Scripture about Peter. In Matthew 14, 27, for example, we read how Peter was the only disciple who walked on water, right? He walked on water. Sounds like I need some water. Excuse me. He was the only disciple who walked on water, but he faltered. Matthew 14, 27. But immediately Jesus spoke to them. They come out on the stormy night. They think they see a spirit. And Jesus said, immediately spoke to them, saying, Be of good cheer, it is I, Jesus said, do not be afraid. And Peter, with the other disciples in the boat that's being rocked and shifted around in the waves, Peter answered him, said, Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water. And so Jesus said, Come. And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on water to go to Jesus. I've never walked on water.

Oh, I walked on ice, but that's different.

Peter walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid. But Jesus just told him, Don't be afraid. And, well, you get it. He was afraid. In beginning to sink, he cried out, saying, Lord, save me. And immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught him and said to him, Oh, you of little faith. Why did you doubt? Why did you doubt?

He was like a father. You know, you almost made it.

Jesus told him not to be afraid. Peter wasn't at first. He walked on water until he became afraid and his faith faltered. He stumbled, we would say later. He stumbled here. Jesus rescued him. But that question, Oh, you of little faith, why did you doubt? It likely, likely it stung a little bit. Lightly stung a little bit. Maybe shamed him a little bit. Let's look at Matthew 16. Matthew 16, 21-23. Here we read about that time when Peter misspoke. He said something to Jesus when he shouldn't have not have done it. Matthew 16, 21. Peter misspoke, though he is very sincere and most definitely devoted to Jesus as Lord. And it caused Jesus to give him a sharp rebuke. Matthew 16, 21. Bringing into the narrative, from that time Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things, many terrible things, from the elders and chief priests and scribes and be killed and be raised the third day. And then Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, saying, Far be it from you, Lord, this shall not happen to you. But he Jesus turned and said to Peter, Get behind me, Satan. You are an offense to me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men.

Now, Jesus' whole purpose in coming to this earth as a human being was to be the perfect sacrifice and so he could pay humanity's debt for sin. And though he meant well, Peter was telling him not to do it. He didn't understand. He did not grasp the larger purpose, the big picture of Jesus' actions. And again, Jesus' rebuke, which seemed to me, likely caused Peter to feel more shame and more guilt. He shouldn't have done that. He shouldn't have said that. And finally, Matthew 26. You see, it was also Peter who three times denied knowing Jesus. Remember that? Matthew 26, we're going to pick it up. We're going to go gospel in different versions here a little bit. It was also Peter who denied Jesus three times. In reading verse 31, we're entering in the narrative where Jesus and disciples had finished the Passover and Jesus was with the 11 disciples who were walking up to the Mount of Olives. And at that time, Jesus warned them of what was about to happen, really in just a few hours' time. He said, verse 31, all of you will be made to stumble. Now, that word can be translated in English as fall away. It can even be translated, you will have a lapse of faith. You're going to get shook. You're going to shake in your faith here. All of you will be made to stumble because of me this night, for it is written, and here he quotes Zechariah 13 verse 7, for I will strike the shepherd and the sheep of the flock will be scattered. And so Jesus himself is assuring them that that prophecy was going to be fulfilled on that very night in just a few hours' time. But devoted and good-hearted and well-meaning Peter, he didn't like that. And what we're going to see is he basically, and other scholars recognize this, he basically boasted that he would never stumble. I'm not going to stumble. Let's read verse 33. And Peter answered and said to him, even if all are made to stumble because of you, I will never be made to stumble. And Jesus said to him assuredly, truly, I'd say to you that this night before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times. And Peter said to him, even if I have to die with you, I will not deny you. And then so said all the disciples. Yeah, us too. We're in this together. We love you, Lord, and we won't let this happen to you. We're there.

Now, Peter sincerely meant what he said, and if we were there in his shoes, we probably would have said it too. It's hard to see someone to know someone you love so dearly is going to go through bad times. You don't want to believe that. We want to be there and prevent that from happening. Peter didn't understand the big picture. He would later. And so Peter did sincerely mean what he said, yet he would learn, and this is part of what he's going to be learning, he had to learn that his faith and courage would fail him and emphasize his faith and his courage would fail him. Now, so he said, I will never be made to stumble. I will not deny you.

Of course, Jesus rested hours later, and just as he had foretold, verse 56, verse 56, last sentence, then all the disciples forsook him, Jesus, and fled. They fled. All means even Peter fled. Now let's pick up the narrative over in Luke 22, 54. Luke 22, 54. You see, after fleeing at that moment of his arrest, Christ's arrest, Peter cautiously returned. Surreptitiously, he comes back to the courtyard where Christ is being held, and interrogation is ready to begin.

Luke 22, verse 54. Again, we're talking about forgiveness and coming to a point of forgiving yourself. Verse 54, having arrested him, Jesus, they led him and brought him into the high priest's house, but Peter followed at a distance. He's shadowing. And now when he had kindled a fire in the midst of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat among them so they could see his face. And when he spoke, they could hear his accent. Verse 56, 59 tells us, it just says, Jesus foretold. I'm not going to read those two accounts, but they're there. Just as Jesus foretold, Peter once and then he twice denied knowing Jesus. And then in verse 60, that third and final time of denial, let's look there. Let's read that. Chapter 22, verse 60. But Peter said, third time, aren't you with him? And Peter said, man, I do not know what you're saying. And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. And the next sentence should kind of make our heart stop. And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. You know, I don't always think about that, but I have been lately. The Lord turned, Jesus turned and looked at Peter the moment the rooster crowed. And Lord Jesus looked at him and Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said to him, before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times. So therefore, because of all this, Peter went out and wept bitterly.

Now, what did that look from Jesus communicate? I don't know. Could have been a look of compassion. Could have been a look. Peter, I tried to warn you. You needed to believe me. I don't know. We don't know. But Peter suddenly realized what? He realized what he had just done. He had just done what he said he'd never do. And we can only imagine, I think, the guilt he felt, the remorse, self-loathing, self-hate. And of course, he would probably feel worse before he felt better. Because by sunset that day, the man whom he had followed for three and a half years and come to love and respect as his Lord and teacher would be dead in a very cruel and shameful way, crucified, and be in the grave by sunset.

And Scripture suggests that Peter and the other disciples, when you look at how they reacted that morning after Christ resurrected the end of the Sabbath, they go to the tomb the next day, and you look at their reactions, Scripture suggests that Peter and the other disciples did not think they'd see Jesus again. It seems to be what they were thinking. They stumbled. Their faith had stumbled. It's understandable.

Now let's turn to Luke 24 chapter over, Luke 24, 36, 38. And here, we're going to fast forward a little bit and move forward to the moment when Jesus Christ, now being resurrected from the grave, suddenly appeared. Verse 36. So Matthew 24 verse 36. They're gathered together.

They're saying, look, Simon and Peter had seen him. Different ones had seen him. There's confusion. Is this true? Is this not? It's nothing like this has ever happened before.

Luke 24, 36. 36, excuse me, 24, 36. Now as they said these things, Jesus himself stood in the midst of them and he said to them, peace to you. That's what he wanted in their minds, in their hearts. Peace to you. But they were terrified and frightened, and suppose they'd seen a spirit. It seems like we've been here before. They were shocked. And Jesus said to them, why are you troubled? Why? And why do doubts arise in your hearts?

And so we see then the disciples were troubled, frightened, doubt. It can mean, the word can mean hesitation, lots of questioning in their hearts. Well, why? Why would they have doubts and questioning in their hearts? Well, obviously, because Jesus just materialized in their presence. That would shock me pretty good. He lived again. He lived again.

But seeing him living again, it could also have caused them to be wrestling with their their doubt, their guilt about themselves, their feelings about themselves, perhaps recalling last time they'd all been together at his arrest, what they had done that night. Perhaps they felt guilt for doubting that Jesus would live again. They're recalling, he told us, why didn't we believe him? Now, all had cause for feeling guilty and doubtful about themselves. And they may have been doubtful and wondering what Jesus now thought about them, for abandoning them, and Peter for denying him. And all of them, perhaps, for questioning, having all these questions about the resurrection. Would he really come? It's been three days and three nights. Is this really happening? And yet, what's wonderful here, in the sense that God is love and very gracious and merciful, Jesus does not speak about these things at all. He never brings that up. He said instead, peace. Peace. And he reassured them that it was indeed himself.

Now, let's turn to John 20, verse 21. You see, in this episode, and this time, John records something more that Jesus said, very reassuring and comforting, rather a forgiving thing. John 20, verse 21, he records how Jesus Christ gave them a mission. He's giving them their purpose.

John 20, 21, so Jesus said to them, again, peace to you, as a father has sent me, I also send you. Now, we can look over that, well, if we think about it a bit.

And so, what we see in these accounts, not only did Jesus not speak, not bring up the topic of how they had fled, and Peter, you denied me, he doesn't bring that up. It's as if he's forgotten. He's not bringing it up. And then, he also tells them that they would continue to serve him and the father in preaching the gospel. They'd sent them out two by two before in the early years of ministry. Now, wouldn't that have been encouraging to these men who were probably struggling with all sorts of emotions, guilt, being shame, being among them? How very encouraging that Jesus doesn't bring up what they had done. And then, he tells them, the father has sent me, and I'm sending you. I'm sending you out. That would have been very encouraging for them, and also an indication of God's approval of them. Just what they needed to know.

So, what was Jesus doing? It seems in some ways we could say that he was indicating that their stumble, their lapse of faith, for all purposes seems to have been forgiven. Despite their own feelings of fearful doubt and shame and guilt, God had overlooked that. God had forgiven them. Who knows what kind of prayers they did privately with God for forgiveness? We don't see that recorded in Scripture. But now, at this point, Jesus seems to recognize that they need to learn to forgive themselves. They need to stop casting doubt about what they did, casting doubt about their abilities, their faith, their shakiness, their lapses of faith.

Then, as we're going to see, let's turn to John. I guess it's just next chapter. John 21, 15-19. It's at this point Jesus gives Peter his special attention. Jesus gives Peter special attention, a special private conversation.

John 21, 15-19. I'm not going to read through every verse. I'll just summarize a bit what's going on here. In this conversation, John 21, 15-19, we read, it's recorded how three times Jesus asked Peter, do you love me? Do you love me? And you can imagine after what Peter has done and maybe what he's feeling, that might be kind of hard question to answer. Maybe feeling he's on the spot. I don't think Christ was being, well, what I think doesn't matter, I guess, but scriptures just ask, do you love me? And three times Peter affirmed that he did. He did love him. Most scholars point out that these three questions draw a parallel to Peter's three denials. Three times. Christ is going to ask him that question. And with each affirmation given by Peter, Jesus then instructed Peter to feed his lambs and then to tend and feed his sheep. In other words, Jesus was instructing Peter to lead and teach his disciples, to lead and teach, disciples being the new and young and also the old.

And again, we might step back and recognize what an encouragement that must have been for Peter. What an encouragement for him who had been wrestling with the sense of doubts and fears, questions, likely his own sense of guilt and shame for what he had failed to do.

And it's interesting if we focus a little more closely on verse 17.

Peter's third affirmation is in verse 17. It's interesting because this would correlate to his third denial when Jesus had turned and looked at him. Remember? It would correlate with that denial it would seem. Verse 17, and Jesus said to him the third time, Simon, son of Jonah, do you love me? And Peter was grieved. That means other words can be hurt or distressed. And when he went to the quick of his heart, we might say, Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, do you love me? And he said to him, Lord, you know all things. You know that I love you. And Jesus said to him, feed my sheep.

That's interesting about Peter's response here. We don't see any attitude of boastfulness or pride or sense of self in this response from Peter. He's far from being boastful about his love or devotion. He's not going to do that again, it seems. Instead, Peter now expresses a more humble and repentant attitude. It could be, it would seem to indicate, that Peter's confidence in his own strength of faith. Peter's confidence in his own strength of will has been broken. That's gone. He's a humbled, humbled man, repentant, and desirous of being right with God.

And so instead of trying to boast or say, well, I'll do this, I'll do this, I'll never do that, Peter simply affirms his love. And then humbly leaves it to his Lord and Master to evaluate his heart, to gauge the depth and strength of his love. Because Peter's been wrong before, and maybe Peter's just going to let God figure that part out and trust in him. And that seems to be the point. Peter has come to a point where he's going to trust totally in Christ, in God.

If it seemed, possibly he's been learning what we all must learn, that our own faith and will are insufficient, that we must have the help of God's faith in us. In addition, by trusting Peter to lead and teach these disciples, Jesus was also reassuring Peter that God is not holding what he did over his head. It seems, it would seem to Peter, it appears that God has forgiven that lapse of faith, that mistake, and that sin Peter would be holding over his own head. And so therefore, since God had forgiven him, Peter needed to trust that God, because Peter would need to trust, well, my point is, Peter needed, needing to trust that God had forgiven him, Peter is at a point where he had to learn to forgive himself. If God forgave me, then I need to forgive myself, because Peter nor us are greater than God.

If God's forgiveness is enough, shouldn't we forgive ourselves, too?

We're not God. Am I, are we in the place of God? No. Now, can we point to the Scripture that tells us when Peter forgave himself? I can't. I don't see a specific verse that said, then Peter forgave himself. I don't see that. But the fact that he had becomes evident in Scripture's record of Peter's faithfulness, his leadership, and service to God after that point. If the Christ resurrection, it's a different sort of man we see before us. And of course, weeks later, on Pentecost, Peter and the others would, disciples, be filled with God's Holy Spirit and be poured out upon them.

And Peter, on that day, if we recall, he showed no trace of guilt or doubt, no lapse of faith, just conviction. It was that day, Acts 2, 41, tells us 3,000 people are added to their number that day. Seemingly under inspiration, God's Spirit, of course, but due to the sermon, God inspired Peter to speak. Now, Peter could have fallen prey to despair due to his regret, a sense of guilt, denying Jesus, doubting, questioning. But through the comfort and encouragement of Jesus' words, he accepted what he had done, it would seem, based on the evidence of his life afterward, he repented, he had to have believed and trusted in God's forgiveness. He had to have chosen then, he chose to believe and trust God totally in God's forgiveness and God's grace. And so, a lesson for us. Well, if we believe that God truly forgives us, and he does, when through faith in Christ we confess our sins to God, repent, and ask to be forgiven, as we read earlier in the sermon, then we must make a choice. We must choose not to doubt God's forgiveness. Since God's forgiveness for that sin mistake, then the only good option is for us to believe God and choose to forgive ourselves, too. Now, it's interesting, our need to forgive ourselves becomes a subject Peter refers to many years later. Let's look at 2 Peter 1, verse 5 through 9. 2 Peter 1, 5 through 9. Writing shortly before his death...

This is one of the last letters, apparently, scholars tell us, they think Peter wrote, or we have in Scripture anyway, in the Bible. Writing short before his death, Peter instructs the disciples, Christ's disciples, to develop those godly qualities that will make them productive in the ways of God and become fitting disciples of Christ. So, 2 Peter 1, verse 5, Peter begins to give a list. He talks, let's see, verse 5, but also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue. And so among the qualities Peter begins to tell the disciples, he's telling us, these are the qualities, the characteristics, the godly character we need to be working on. We need to be developing with God's help through His Word and His Holy Spirit. He begins with faith, and then add to your faith virtue. Virtue can mean moral excellence, obedience to God, mind and heart in every way. And then he adds a list to add knowledge, then self-control, perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness, and finally, he says, add love. These are the things. It's something we're constantly doing. We're developing and growing with God's help. But then in verse 9, Peter warns, he warns those that read his letter and the disciples, he warns that without these godly qualities, we will lose focus. We'll become nearsighted, spiritually speaking, blind. We'll lose focus without these godly qualities. We'll lose right understanding about God and His way. We might even forget that God has forgiven our old sins. Verse 9, he says, for he who lacks these things, these qualities of faith and others, he who lacks these things is short-sighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins. Peter seems to be saying that without practicing faith in Christ's sacrifice and believing that God has indeed forgiven us, our sins, we can forget or come to disbelieve, question whether God has really forgiven us with that God has already forgiven our old sins.

So there's a question we might need to ask ourselves.

We sometimes need to ask ourselves this question. If God has already forgiven us for our old sins, then why do we keep fretting about them? Why do we keep feeling guilty about them? They've already been forgiven. If we've done the process in faith in Christ, as we've rehearsed several times now, then why do we keep going back? What we learn is that we're putting ourselves in a difficult position spiritually when we choose to keep wallowing in guilt over a sin for which God has already forgiven us. Choosing to keep feeling guilty about that sin, it may show a lack of faith in God. When we don't forgive ourselves, we may be doubting God's promise that He did forgive us. He does forgive us.

Instead, we need to ask God to strengthen us.

And at those times, especially when we're going back to that well-worn path of guilt wallow—it used to be buffalo wallows years ago—but we have these spots in our minds where we tend to go back and bring things up, and it's human. We need to stop, and God wants us to stop. And He will help us stop that. We just have to ask God to strengthen us. Those times, when our own belief and faith are getting shaky, and frankly, our own faith and belief are always going to be insufficient. It's never going to be enough to get us through. Not the life God has called us to lead. We need to ask those times that God will give us of His own strength of will, His own faith. We only have to ask. Instead of dipping into the wallow, go back to God and ask for the faith and strength to not do that anymore. And He will answer us in His own way, in His own way and time. When we believe that God is truly forgiveness, we have no good reason not to forgive ourselves. And though, yeah, we may never forget totally what we did, we can make a choice. And forgiveness is about making a choice. Though we may never totally forget what we did, we can't choose to live our lives without dwelling on that old sin. We have to choose to put it back away. We're not going there again. Now, there are consequences for sins and mistakes. I'm not saying they're not. We know that. King David sinned against Uriah the Hittite, sinning the matter of Uriah Hittite, Bathsheba. God forgave him. David repented, but yet he had to suffer the consequences. You know, if you can look at that 2 Samuel 12, 9-14, David repented, but God still told him that the sword will never depart from your house. There are going to be consequences upon your family because of your sin. And God also, the infant son born of Bathsheba at that time, also died. That's part of the consequences. But God forgave him. You can look back at that 2 Samuel 12 verse 9-14. But even in consequences, and we do things in life, some sinful things, some stupid things, and there are going to be consequences. And God's not always going to take away the consequences. He does want us to get rid of the guilt, but there are going to be consequences. And those consequences, even there, if we go to God, He will help us learn for those consequences. Those consequences can help us learn to develop the right character. If you go through consequences for your bad decisions, but you've repented, and you're walking closer to God and praying harder and doing the right thing, making right choices, letting God help you more, we're going to become better for it. How many times do we know bad times can be good times? We've learned that in life. Of course, none of us wants to make sin in our lives. We don't want to do that. I wish I could always be perfect. There's a part of me that wants to be perfect, but not that way. Not in the way I want it done. But when we stay faithful to God, God will help us change the bad into something good. Sort of what happened to Joseph and his brothers, what happened to Peter, he became that living rock.

So we need to believe in God's grace, His love and forgiveness. We then will have no need to keep hanging on to the guilt for old sins that God has already cleansed away. And frankly, we need to believe and trust God more than we believe and trust our own sad, guilt-ridden, and doubt-filled human reasoning. Who are you going to believe? God or self? We need to believe God who says, I forgive you. And then choose to believe that and choose to put away the guilt with God's help.

God will answer us in ways He knows best. So as Scripture reveals in what we've been reading and considering today, I'm encouraging us to believe and practice the true forgiveness God forgives us. We talked about that in the introduction. We do need to learn also to forgive ourselves and be rid of that burden of guilt of sin for sins that God has already forgiven us. We need to trust God. We need to let go of unhealthy guilt, self-loathing, all the bitter regrets. So if I could put it down to three little bullet points. We must choose to trust God, His love and forgiveness. Choose to trust God, His love and forgiveness. These are choices we make. Second bullet would be choose to let go of guilt. Make a choice to let go of it. You may have to keep doing that several times because it's like an old bad song. It keeps coming to mind sometimes. And third, choose to believe God and so forgive ourselves. Make a choice to believe God and forgive ourselves. And then, of course, when our belief and faith is shaky, go to God for help, for He is faithful. He is faithful to supply our need. So let's believe and trust God. Let's keep reading our Bibles and learning lessons, what God opens to our hearts and minds, things we can work on. Let's not forget that we need to help one another learn to forgive ourselves. We can help one another in this always. God works through us, too, in helping our brothers and sisters. Let's believe and trust God. Let's keep choosing to believe and obey Him, ever moving forward, ever walking in faith with God and Christ. And as we do so, let us be learning to forgive ourselves.