One Flesh

Thank you, Ms. Lehman, for the beautiful special music. It's a wonderful psalm and excellent, excellent music to go along with it. Appreciate that very, very much. Well, brethren, as we come into the fall Holy Day season for this year, we are symbolically entering into a period of time in human history where we see the spiritual fulfillment of the Holy Day plan of God achieved. Right? We look at the Holy Day plan of God. We consider the spring Holy Days and the fall Holy Days. We look at the spring Holy Days as, in many capacities, largely fulfilled. We're coming through these things. We're coming into, as we come into Pentecost, we have a future fulfillment. As we come into the trumpets and Day of Atonement and the Feast of Tabernacles, the eighth day, we have future fulfillments which take place. But we are coming into a time in which the spiritual fulfillment of the Holy Day plan of God is being, and we are seeing and going through the rehearsal of these things being achieved.

Through the events that take place and are symbolized by the Feast of Trumpets, the Feast of Tabernacles, the eighth day, Day of Atonement, God's ultimate purpose, His perfect will, we might say, for mankind, is completed. And Scripture describes this ultimate purpose. It provides us with an understanding of what it is that God is doing with this earth.

And with mankind. And with this life that we all live.

Scripture describes that ultimate purpose, that human beings are to become a part of God's family as glorified spirit beings in an eternal covenant relationship with God through Jesus Christ. And within the Bible, this is described in a variety of ways. We see a number of analogies laid out in Scripture to help us understand this. We see the Bible describe us as becoming children of God. We see it described in a family relationship. We see it described as a series of harvests, that there are harvests which are taking place. We see it described as a kingdom, as a priesthood. We see it laid out in that way. And in Ephesians 5, we see it laid out as a bride and her bride grew. We see it laid out in a marriage relationship. Let's go ahead and turn over to the book of Ephesians. Let's go ahead and turn over to Ephesians 5 to begin, because we want to explore the significance of this particular description. I want to take some time to look today at this particular description, and in particular, the physical covenant that is described, because it's through that physical covenant that we have an understanding of what is taking place spiritually. God is opening up an understanding of oneness and unity that takes place between the bridegroom and his bride through this physical covenant that we see laid out for us and instituted on this earth. So Ephesians 5, we'll pick it up in verse 32. Paul has just concluded his instructions to wives and to husbands, to their specific roles and responsibilities, and he sums up all of that with this final statement. Verse 32 of Ephesians 5, he says, This is a great mystery. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Statement that Paul references here as a great mystery is directly on the heels of the quote that he pulls from Genesis 2 and verse 24.

Genesis 2 and verse 24, you can turn over there if you'd like. It says, Therefore, in Genesis 2 verse 24, therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So this is the great mystery to which Paul is referencing. This is the great concept that he's referencing, but he's bringing out, leaving no ambiguity to his statement. He is bringing out that he is not just talking about a physical covenant here. He is saying it's much bigger than that. Much, much bigger than that. Paul says he is speaking of something far bigger than the institution of marriage and this institution that God has ordained demonstrates and rehearses these bigger spiritual truths within our human relationships.

In other words, there's a reason, multiple reasons, in fact, that God ordained the institution of marriage. You know, before there was a human government of any kind, before there was Israel, before there was the church, there was marriage. It goes back clear to creation, and it is an institution which God has ordained and which God has blessed. And I think sometimes in today's society, marriage has become so familiar to us, so familiar to us. It's just so common. I mean, we're so used to seeing it in certain capacities that we can very easily begin to think of marriage as a civil contract. Just some sort of a contract which takes place, or maybe a component of human society that's regulated by the government, or it's regulated by tradition, or it's regulated by culture. You know, certain families have expectations when it comes to marriage. But brethren, if we view marriage through that lens only, we're missing the point entirely. We're completely and totally missing the point. If we're looking at it through the lens of tradition, through the lens of culture, through the lens of civil contracts, etc.

God created marriage. He instituted it. And because of this, God Himself gets to tell us what it is, He gets to tell us what it's for, and He gets to tell us how it's supposed to work, because it's His. We're merely being invited to participate within it. It is God's.

And so, at the time that we have left today, what I'd like to do is explore this institution. I'd like to talk a little bit about what it is, why it matters, and what God expects of those who have entered it. So the title of the message today is One Flesh. The title of the message today is One Flesh. And the reason that I chose that particular title is because it is that aspect of this marriage relationship that is so pertinent to what it is that we're doing as members of that bride of Christ. Because we are in the process of trying to become one flesh or one spirit with Jesus Christ as we work in this relationship. And so that's that institutional aspect of that broader context. So let's start with what this is. Let's go ahead and turn over to Matthew 19.

Matthew 19. So at the very beginning, we've already established the very beginning of creation. God establishes the institution of marriage. So God sets up marriage. He sets it up for specific purpose. In fact, Paul quotes Genesis 2 verse 24 in the book of Ephesians. In fact, here in Matthew 19, we're going to see it quoted yet again. Okay, that is a passage that keeps coming back because there's a lot of information that we can pull out of that. Christ here in Matthew 19 is being asked a question. He's being asked a question. And that question actually is about divorce. That's where this question came from in Matthew 19. It came about as a result of divorce. So Matthew 19, we'll go ahead and pick it up in verse 4 of Matthew 19. Matthew 19 and verse 4, we see the response ultimately to the question that was asked. Matthew 19, and we'll read verses 4 through 6.

It says, and he answered and he said to them, Have you not read that he who made them at the beginning made them male and female? And said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So then, he continues, they are no longer two, but one flesh. And then it says, Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate. Okay, so we see the intent here of what God intended through this process.

Christ's words in Matthew 19 illustrate that marriage is the method that God created to join together a man and a woman. And as he responds to the question, Christ lays it out. He says, Look, God created them male, and he created them female. And the implication that he's bringing out in this is that he did that for a reason. And that reason is going to be the institution of marriage. They were made with specific roles. They were made with responsibilities. Christ goes on to say that the male is to leave his father and mother, to come out from underneath the authority, so to speak, of his parents, that authority structure, and to create a new family unit, a new line, quote unquote, the term is not the best term, but a new line of authority of responsibility, essentially as the head of a family unit. We see that's the system to leave his own home, and then to then cleave unto his wife, creating this new family unit. And so, in that sense, what we see with this establishment that Christ describes is marriage is a lot more than just a social arrangement. It's a lot more than a social arrangement.

Christ describes what God has joined together. Let no man separate. God is intimately involved in the covenant of marriage. God's intimately involved in the covenant of marriage. As a husband and a wife make their vows to one another, right, we've all been to a wedding, we've all been to weddings, you know, the husband and the wife, they make their vows to one another, they say, you know, all the words that they say, and then, you know, they say, I do, right? They agree to those particular vows. Was the husband and the wife are making their vows with one another. Those vows are being made before God. And in a sense, they're being made with God. That individual is telling God, I am going to do these things. These are the things I am agreeing to as a part of this covenant. And I'm promising this other person that those are the things I'm going to do, that I'm going to care for them in this way. And they're inviting God to be a witness in that process. In fact, Malachi describes God as a witness to the covenant that they have entered into. And so as Matthew 19 describes, we see a description of the man's responsibility involving leaving, coming out of his home, heading out to his home, leaving his father and his mother. The act of marriage establishes a new family unit. He doesn't continue under the authority of his parents and their household. He doesn't, you know, he continues to love and continues to honor his parents. But through the act of marriage, there is now a new primary loyalty and responsibility that is created in his wife. Then what we see in Matthew 19 is the description here that Christ provides. The husband and the wife are joined. They are cleaved, as the word is in Hebrew. They are cleaved to one another. So the responsibility is leave and cleave.

Leave and cleave. This concept in Scripture is interesting, this idea of cleave. It carries the idea of clinging to, or in a sense, being adhered to someone. In fact, in Hebrew, the word is used throughout to describe a joining that is really difficult to separate. If you've ever glued your fingers together with sticky glue or with, uh, why can't I think of the term? Superglue! Thank you! If you've ever glued your fingers together with sticky glue, congratulations! You've cleaved your fingers.

Okay, they are stuck. They're not coming apart very easily. In fact, the term 2 Samuel 23, the word is used in Hebrew there, and it's used in a way that we would not consider with regards to marriage. Eleazar, who was one of David's mighty men, slew a pile of Philistines. A whole pile of them! In fact, he slew so many Philistines, and he swung that sword for so long that day that the sword got stuck in his hand. How did it get stuck in his hand? Well, I mean, it could be the blood. Hopefully it's not the blood. It probably is the exhaustion from his arm and the cramp in his hand that stuck that sword, but that term cleave is used in the way of the way that sword held into his hand. It was difficult to separate that sword from his hand. He'd swung it for so long it was such an intense grip, it was stuck. That's the idea of cleave, that there is a joining which takes place that is very, very difficult to separate. It's the same Hebrew word. In fact, it describes a closeness and a holding fast. So we see the man leaves and the couple cleaves, and what comes from that is a one-flesh union, a one-flesh covenant. No longer are the two individuals, two separate people. Now they are. Bear with me for a moment. No longer are they two separate people with two different sets of goals, two different sets of pursuits, two different sets of desires. The commitment that they have made to one another includes those goals being shared between one another, responsibilities that are shared between one another. And what you have is two people who become increasingly more unified in likeness of mind and in shared pursuit.

Each of those individuals within that covenant endeavoring to become more like God.

And in the process of them growing closer to Him, they grow closer to one another. Because they're both aimed in the same direction. They're not growing separately. They're not going in two different directions. They are both aimed at becoming more like God. And as they do that, they grow closer together as well. Because they're practicing the kind of love that God desires of a couple. And so in that sense, this idea of one flesh means so much more than sexual intimacy. We tend to think of that when we think of this idea of one flesh. And that is a component of this one flesh union. But the unity and the oneness that is described, the oneness, the commitment that's described, gives us this greater understanding of the broader context of marriage. And it really implies a far greater oneness than just the physical and emotional oneness that comes through the intimacy that God created as a part of marriage. In marriage, two increasingly become one household of people. They become united in purpose. They become united in goals and desires.

And so it's not just two people who are living together. It's a covenant in which the husband and the wife have committed to becoming one. Now, because God created it, God has every right to define it. He has every right to put limits on it. He has every right to determine exactly what it is and exactly what it is not. Now, I mention this because one of the things that's come as a result of this new role is beginning to wrap my brain around internationally how some of these things take place. I learned something that I was unaware of. Perhaps some of you are aware of this. Did you know that—and this is a weird concept for us in the United States because it's not the case here— did you know that in Europe, a religious wedding has absolutely no legal standing whatsoever?

So if two people were to come before their minister at church in some European countries and ask that minister to marry them, there is no legal bearing whatsoever as a result of that marriage. For that to be a legal marriage, they first have to go and be married civilly and then come and be married in the church. And not only that, there are a number of other versions of marriage because of the way that progressive laws have gone on. For example, in some places in Europe, there exists now what are called cohabitation contracts.

Essentially, you're living with someone—you're not married—but you're living with someone, and you go down to the legal authority and you say, we're living together, and they say, congratulations, they stamp your paper, they say, you now have a certain level of legal rights as people who are living together. Okay? There's also in some countries what are called civil partnerships. It's not a marriage, it's a partnership. It's not quite cohabitation. You have made some level of commitment, but in those civil partnerships, then you're able to recognize, you're able to get the tax benefits, you're able to get a number of these other things.

And then there are actual civil marriages, where you actually do go before a government official, you do take vows in the presence of witnesses, just as we would do in, for example, a church wedding, and then you are legally recognized then as being married.

So how do we work through all of these things? At what point is the marriage valid? At what point is it a marriage? These are all questions that are being asked. These are all things that we're attempting to work through as we consider these concepts. And so in many places throughout Europe, and this is a very common thing throughout Europe, you have to have the civil marriage first, and then a certain number of days later you can have the church ceremony if you choose to have the church ceremony. And so, you know, working through these sorts of things and trying to understand what they are and recognize what is and what is not truly marriage. Because these issues come up, right? Things are complex. Issues are complex wherever you go in a variety of ways.

So why does marriage matter? What is it? We've talked about that. Why does it matter? Because it's through marriage that God established the foundation of society. It's through marriage that God established the foundation of society and through which he built the human society on that family unit. Let's go over to Genesis 1. Let's go over to Genesis 1, because we'll see that God gave Adam and Eve a commandment here in Genesis 1. He gave them instructions as this process went forward.

Genesis 1, we'll go ahead and pick it up in verse 26, marriage is used to be the foundation block of human society, which is why over the last 60 years it has been so viciously attacked.

Because Satan knows for an absolute fact if you could knock the foundation blocks out of human society, if you can destroy marriage and what it stands for, you can destroy human society.

It's that crucial. It's that critical. It's that important. Genesis 1, verse 26, Genesis 1, verse 26 says, then God said, let us make man in our image according to our likeness.

Let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, over the cattle, over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. So God created man in his own image. In the image of God, he created them, like in the likeness of God. Male and female, he created them. Verse 28, then God blessed them, and God said to them, be fruitful and multiply.

Fill the earth and subdue it. Have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth. And we know that Adam and Eve did. We know that they did. They were fruitful. They multiplied. Right? We don't see God coming after them for disobeying that instruction. Okay, they got in trouble in Genesis 3 when they ate from the tree.

They didn't get trouble for that. They were fruitful. They multiplied. We see God made man in the image of God as God beings, made in that likeness, made them male. He made them female. We see that God blesses the creation, instructs them to go and to fill the earth and to ultimately subdue it. And in doing this, God created marriage as the environment for family life. It was marriage in which the development and the training up of godly offspring took place.

God didn't outsource this responsibility. He left it in the family unit. It was the role of parents to train up their children. It was the responsibility of the husband and the wife to multiply, to fill the earth, to raise their kids, to build this strong family unit.

The reality is, marriage impacts more than just the two people that are in the covenantal union.

Marriage impacts significantly more than just two people that are in the covenantal union.

Marriage shapes families. It shapes generations. Because marriage is one of the ways by which God shapes and develops godly character. And so, better or for worse, it can affect families. It can affect generations. God uses marriage to shape and develop godly character. It is not the only way. It is not the only way. A person doesn't have to be married in order to grow in godly character. But within marriage, God creates a unique circumstance. And it's hard to find this circumstance in any other any other institution in human creation. In marriage, God takes two imperfect people and he puts them in very close proximity. So close sometimes you can hear the other one chew. Very close proximity. And these two people are both imperfect.

Okay, sometimes you look at the person and you go, boy, that person's imperfect. Yeah, well, look in the mirror. You are too. We all are. We're all imperfect. God takes these two imperfect people and he puts them in very close proximity to each other in such a way that that closeness requires patience, requires forgiveness, humility, sacrifice, faithfulness, service, self-control. In fact, Mr. Hanson spoke about a bunch of these things today in his first split sermon. All the bearing with one another, the forgiving one another, the loving one another, all these things that are required of us. And when you're in close proximity, those things can be a challenge sometimes. They can be hard. Marriage isn't easy all the time. Let's go to Philippians 2. Philippians 2.

In the book of Philippians, Paul reminds those in Philippi of the importance of considering the needs of other people over their own needs, over what their own needs are. Philippians 2.

We'll pick it up in verse 3. We'll read 3 and 4. Philippians 2 verses 3 and 4.

Paul reminds each of us, married or not, married or not, let nothing, let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit. But in lowliness of mind and humility, let us esteem one another better or each other better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Marriage invites each of us to continually ask this question. Will I insist on getting my way, or will I learn to love another person sacrificially?

And every single day we have an opportunity to ask and to answer that question. We absolutely cannot live God's design for marriage while remaining completely and totally self-centered.

If our marriage is all about me, me, me, me, it's not going to end well. It's not going to end well.

What happens in those circumstances is you build deep resentment, you build loneliness, you build emotional exhaustion, and you build and lead to the withdrawal of a spouse. Someone who is now pulled back instead of leaning in. And once that person begins to pull back, that's the opposite direction from the oneness and the unity that God designed within marriage to help us understand the relationship between Christ and his church.

As we pull back from Christ, what happens?

Things start to fall apart in our lives. It doesn't go well when we pull back.

God wants us to be leaning in in those relationships, leaning into that unity, leaning into that oneness, because it is that unity that's purpose built into the marriage covenant that helps us to understand that relationship between Christ and his church.

Human marriage is intended to teach us something about the plan of God, about Christ's relationship with his bride. And so as such, there are going to be certain expectations which reflect the role of Christ and the church within this institution. So what are those? Let's go back to Ephesians 5, just a few pages over here from where we are in Philippians. It's literally one page for me. Maybe it's two for you. I don't know. Not too far. Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians. Ephesians 5, we've read the latter portion of Ephesians 5. We're going to go up to now the earlier portion that we skipped over. Ephesians 5, and we'll pick up Paul's writings here in verse 22 with his instructions to wives and husbands. So individuals who are in this covenant, what does Paul say is responsibility of wives and of husbands? Verse 22 says, wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church, and he is the savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Verse 25, husbands love your wives.

Just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of his body. Notice how he puts this, of his flesh and of his bones. This concept of one flesh, this concept that Adam said when he saw Eve's creation, this is bone of my bones. This is flesh of my flesh. Right? We are of one flesh here, Paul says. We are of his flesh and of his bones. We are connected in this way to Jesus Christ as his bride.

So Paul starts with the instructions for the wives. He outlines the importance of their love, outlines the importance of submission and respect for their husbands. But something that's important to note here, I think sometimes we lose sight of this, is that Paul's instructions are that women are to be submissive to their own husbands, not to every man. They are to be submissive to their own husbands. Now, there are roles, there are responsibilities, there are structures, there are authorities, there are all of those things. That's not to say that those things aren't important and they don't matter, but it specifically says they are to be submissive to their own husbands. And what's really interesting is Paul, just before this, brings this idea out. In fact, he says all of us should be submissive to one another. He says right here, just earlier than verse 22, he says the importance of mutual submission, one to another, in the fear of the Lord. Why? Because we're all trying to do the same thing. We're all trying to be a better bride to our bridegroom. We're all working together to work toward the kingdom of God and the responsibility that God has given us. And so this instruction in verse 22, it's a continuation of this idea. It's a continuation of this concept of submission. And that includes husbands to wives and wives to husbands as brothers and sisters in Christ. Right? Yes, the husband has a role. He has a headship or a leadership responsibility that's been given to him. Absolutely 100% no doubt. And yes, wives are instructed to submit to their husbands as part of that structure. 100%. But submission does not mean inferiority. Submission does not mean inferiority. Just as headship or leadership in a relationship doesn't mean superiority. A successful marriage is not one person continually demanding submission.

A successful marriage is two Christians working in unison, learning to serve one another as Christ served the church. What the wife is instructed to do is to love and to respect her husband and his leadership.

And what that means for husbands, it's important that you show yourself worthy of that love and respect.

That we lead through our service. We lead through our care for our spouse. A wife's submission never ever gives a husband permission to bully, to mistreat, to manipulate, to abuse his spouse. Under no circumstances. A biblical marriage is not about power.

It's about responsibility. It's about accountability to Christ. So then Paul goes on and explains to the husband that their responsibility is that of Christ-like service. And through loving their wives is Christ loved the church, giving himself for her, again being the head of that household.

It's not about domination. It's not about control. It's about responsibility and sacrifice.

And husbands are told that they're to leave, they're to cleave, they're to honor, to cherish, to provide not just physically, but to provide for her emotional and her spiritual needs as well.

It's a significant responsibility. It is a significant responsibility. And frankly, men, it's one that we're held accountable for, and it's one that we're held responsible for.

And we answer for in the manner in which we've done it.

Both the husband and the wife in this marriage should be asking themselves regularly, how can I better serve my spouse? How can I better serve this woman or this man whom God has provided me? How can I build this relationship more fully? How can I lean into this oneness and this unity that this covenant is intended to portray?

Now sadly, we recognize not every marriage is successful. Not every marriage is successful. They do fail for a variety of reasons. But turn over to the book of Malachi real quick, because I want to take a look at this before we jump into this section. Malachi 2 and verse 14 Sorry, I'm in Daniel. That is not going to get there.

My fingers want to skip right past that intertestamental period.

Malachi 2 verse 14. There you are. Come here, Malachi.

Malachi 2 verse 14. We actually referenced this passage earlier, but we're going to go there now to see God's thoughts, so to speak, on this covenantal component. Malachi 2 and verse 14.

Malachi 2 and verse 14, kind of breaking into the context here, it says, Yet you say, for what reason? Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously, yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant.

Did he not make them one, having a remnant of the spirit, and why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore, take heed to your spirit and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.

So God gives us an admonition here in Malachi 2 about the covenantal aspect of this institution. Again, not a civil contract. It's a covenant. It's a covenantal agreement that we take. That husband and that wife have been joined together by covenant. And so in that sense, vows, they're not just a promise that we make to another human being.

They're a promise that we make before God. And for each of us who are married, or who have married someone else, we are faithfully promising before God and those witnesses that are gathered that we are going to perform specific responsibilities that are outlined in the vows that we took. Which helps us to understand the context to the statement that we saw earlier in Matthew 19, which is what God is joined together, let no man separate. Because God sees this as a covenant. And there's a certain implication, so to speak, of permanence within that. So with that said, there are a few specific things that God identifies in Scripture that are violations of said covenant. They're a violation of the covenant. And God gave grounds for a writ of divorce in those circumstances. And so in these specific circumstances, God gives a writ of divorce, or gives the ability for a writ of divorce. And I want to be clear, these are not a requirement to divorce. They're not saying you have to. In fact, the goal would be to work through the issue and hopefully come out the other side stronger.

But in circumstances where that's not possible, there is a writ of divorce that can be provided.

There are three separate issues, three specific things that God outlines in Scripture that break that covenant in a variety of ways. One is sexual infidelity. Sexual infidelity can take a variety of forms. Take a variety of forms. But at its core, sexual infidelity is a violation of the sanctity of the covenantal exclusiveness. So the husband and the wife are entering into a one-flesh covenant.

They are not entering into a two-flesh, three-flesh, or four-flesh covenant. This is a covenantal exclusivity that these individuals are agreeing to. Both of their free will make a vow of exclusivity. Now, infidelity, whether that takes the form of a physical affair, whether that takes the form of an emotional affair, which that's a thing, an emotional affair, whether that takes the form of things like pornography or scantily clad men or women on social media or flirty texts with other people, those all represent a violation of the exclusivity of that covenant. And so in those circumstances, that covenant has been violated, and God allows grounds in this case for divorce if that is where it goes. The second thing is abandonment by an unbelieving spouse. So Paul describes in 1 Corinthians 7. 1 Corinthians 7, you're welcome to turn over there if you'd like to. I'm actually not going to turn there for sake of time, but in 1 Corinthians 7, there's a situation that Paul describes in which an unbelieving spouse is not pleased to dwell with their spouse and chooses to depart. Now, contextually, in this example, what's happened is two individuals that were not in the church have been now, one of them has been called into the church. So in this case, two individuals that were not in the church, they're called, one person comes to the faith, begins to follow the way of God, begins to do these things, and the other person goes, hey, wait a minute, I didn't agree to any of that. I kind of like ham. I kind of like Christmas. I kind of like Easter. I'm a big fan of Valentine's Day. What do you mean we're not doing that anymore? What do you mean we're not doing this? What are you talking about? I didn't agree to any of this. And in those circumstances, that person is determined that they're not pleased to dwell with that individual.

They are able to leave, and the other person is no longer bound.

So that's one example that Paul gives. Now, sometimes, unfortunately, there are circumstances in which there are two believing spouses, and one of those spouses becomes an unbeliever.

Either through their decisions, maybe in their heart of hearts, they believe that they believe in God, but their actions don't line up with it.

They may be living there in the home, but their actions don't illustrate it. Through their behavior, through their conduct, they begin to demonstrate their unwillingness to live up to their covenant, essentially abandoning their spouse, even while they're living under the same roof. This can come up from a variety of things. It can come up through substance abuse, alcoholism, drug use. It can come up through emotional, verbal, or physical abuse.

It can come as a result of anger issues and a whole lot of other stuff.

Now, the hope in those circumstances is that that spouse can be brought to repentance, that they can realize what they've done wrong, and they can correct the situation, but sometimes that's not possible. And in those circumstances, you have abuse and you have other things taking place in the marriage that is not acceptable. And that does, unfortunately, happen, and that's another way of abandonment taking place. The third thing is fraud or deception. Covenant, to enter into a covenant in full transparency, requires trust and it requires truthfulness.

You know, if there's an elephant in the room, so to speak, a large, relatively large elephant in the room that is not disclosed prior to entering into that covenant, that person just kind of wallpapered over the elephant in the house there, and they get married, and then suddenly the elephant busts through the wall, and the person goes, whoa, what is this? Like, we didn't talk about this. We didn't have this conversation. What's going on here? You can't enter into a covenant if there's fraud or deception in place. You can't agree to something without ensuring that that is covered and open and transparent.

Now, sometimes what happens is these things come out and then somebody puts up with it for seven or eight years, and then they want to come back seven or eight years later and say, hey, wait a minute, there was fraud. Well, yeah, there was, and that should have been addressed really early on in the marriage, as opposed to eight years down the road.

Right? So, these types of things unfortunately come up because we're human, we're imperfect, life is complex, and there are significant challenges that sometimes take place. None of these circumstances should be viewed as loopholes to try to get out of a challenging circumstance. Marriage is difficult. It can be very tough. These are not loopholes to try to get out of a situation where a covenant truly hasn't been broken. God's expectation is that we will be faithful to the covenant that we made before Him, but He also recognizes that circumstances like this that attack the exclusivity of the covenant or attacks the commitment that was made or undermines their ability to consent to the covenant through fraud or deception results in a covenant that is invalid.

And as a result, then there is no, they're not bound in that circumstance. But that's not the intent of marriage. The intent of marriage is a lifelong commitment in covenantal relationship, serving one another in Christ-like service, reflecting the love that Christ has for His Church, because marriage illustrates something to us that is much bigger than our individual commitment to that other person. Scripture shows us that God created male and female, husband and wife, with the intent of establishing the family unit to be able to create a human relationship that Paul points out transcends that human relationship to help us understand something much greater.

Marriage teaches us commitment. It teaches us faithfulness, sacrifice, service, and forgiveness. Marriage teaches us about the commitment that Jesus Christ has for His bride, the Church. You know, you look at these upcoming Holy Days that we're about to keep here, beginning with the Feast of Trumpets, end of the Day of Atonement, then the Feast of Tabernacles and the Eighth Day.

These upcoming Fall Holy Days illustrate to us what Christ is doing with that bride today in preparation for that ultimate responsibility for His spouse in the future, the faithfulness and the service that He expects of us today, the progression of holiness, the washing and the cleansing of that bride, for her role as kings and priests in that coming Kingdom of God as we become one flesh, or we might say one spirit, rather, with Jesus Christ as part of that deepening, continuing relationship.

But these days point to the fulfillment of these responsibilities, and it places a significant emphasis on the importance of this institution in our lives today. Marriage is more than just two people living together. It's a covenant in which the man and the woman commit themselves to becoming one. And sometimes we go through difficulties in our marriages.

You know, as we mentioned before, God takes two imperfect people, and boy does He put them in close proximity, right? We get real close to each other, and we're two imperfect people, and there can be challenges. And when that happens, sometimes we might ask ourselves, is my marriage making me happy? Brethren, that's the wrong question.

That's the wrong question.

Happiness isn't the goal for your marriage. Now, you may be thinking, whoa, wait a minute, before you throw tomatoes, give me a moment. Happiness isn't the goal for your marriage. Holiness is. Holiness is the goal for your marriage. Now, God does not want us to be miserable.

God does not want us to be miserable. He does not want us to experience challenges and difficulties in our marriages, but happiness is not the right metric, because sometimes happiness is the opposite of holiness, because there are things that might make us happy that are way outside of that covenant, and they do not bring us closer to God in holiness. But boy, they might make us happy for a moment, or they might make us happy in the interim. Holiness is the goal for your marriage, and happiness is a byproduct of holiness. Happiness is a byproduct of holiness. And when we're living our lives, as God intended for us to live, it means when we're becoming more like Him and we're putting to death our own desires, we're placing the needs of our spouse above our own needs, as we're yielding ourselves to the Spirit of God and exhibiting His character, exhibiting His nature, being cleansed and washed by the Word, when both spouses are committed to becoming like Him and expressing His nature, we experience a happy and a fulfilling marriage.

It doesn't mean it's going to be perfect. It doesn't mean it's always going to be easy.

But it means that if you're both focused in the right direction, and if everyone is working toward becoming more like Jesus Christ, the byproduct of that is a happy marriage. So, as we conclude here today, let's take stock as we come into this fall Holy Day season. Let's consider our marriages, the purpose for marriage, what God is doing as a result of these covenantal commitments. And for those who are married, let's ask ourselves a few questions. For those that are not, be thinking of this in context of the bride and the bridegroom.

Be thinking of this as the other version of the marriage covenant that we've all taken, which is our baptismal covenant, which is a type of a marriage covenant. So, let's ask ourselves the question, am I keeping the covenant that I made before God? Am I keeping it?

Am I committed to care for my spouse as my lawfully wedded wife or husband in sickness and in health, good times, difficult times, for as long as you both shall live, to love, to cherish, to honor, to provide, and as God has ordained, to submit yourself to them? Am I helping my spouse toward the family of God? Or are my actions and my choices and my behavior actually driving them away from God?

Are the decisions that I'm making helping them come closer to God? Or if I'd driven them away as a result of my choices, my actions, and my behavior? Am I learning to sacrifice? Am I learning to forgive and to serve my spouse? Am I treating my spouse in a way that reflects the relationship between Christ and His Church? These fall Holy Days illustrate for us a coming time in which the bride of Christ will be joined to her husband for eternity. You know, eternity is a really long time, and it's a really short time at the same time, right? Because it's not time, it's eternity, right? It goes on and on and on and on forever. It's an incredible thing, and these days represent this, the beginnings of that process as we come to the point where this is going to be the case. But for us to truly, fully understand what this means, we need to understand marriage today, and we need to understand the purpose for which God instituted it. Marriage was created by God. It belongs to Him. He defines it. He places limits on it. He tells us what it is and what it is not. And through that marriage, He prepares each of us for the family of God and this coming kingdom, which He's Holy Days proclaim. So let's all go forward here today, looking forward to having the opportunity to fellowship and to reconnect. It's been many, many weeks. It'd be nice to see everyone and talk with everyone, but hopefully we can all go forward and consider our marriages and this marriage relationship that we're being called to as a part of the kingdom of God.