The Sanctity and Beauty of Marriage and Family

Last Sabbath, we had a video sermon by Peter Eddington, God's reason for only heterosexual marriage. And Mr. Eddington showed that that is God's way throughout the Bible, that marriage is between one man and one woman. Today, I'd like to continue with that for the second half, the second split sermon.

And the title of the message I'm giving is Sanctity and Beauty of Marriage and Family. The word sanctity means holiness. This is talking about the holiness, holy matrimony, and the beauty of marriage and family. It is a beautiful thing when we look at it, something God has created and made that is very, very beautiful and very holy.

Let's turn over to Psalms 128. Read just a few verses that describe the sanctity and the beauty of marriage. In Psalm 128, verse 1, Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways. We do have to walk in God's ways to be blessed.

When you eat the labor of your hands, you shall be happy. It shall be well with you. Verse 3, Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house. Your children, like olive plants all around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed, who fears the Lord. Verse 6 goes on to say, May you see your children's children and peace upon Israel.

So the person that follows God's laws will certainly be blessed. And one of those blessings is a happy marriage and family. Marriage and family, the very foundation of successful communities and nations. To date, the traditional biblical family, though, is being questioned by many. And so many feel like it's okay to divorce. I think many, many, about half of our marriages end in divorce. It's okay to live together unmarried.

It's okay to have same-sex marriages. It's okay to be homosexual, transgender, LGBTQ. What's wrong with these? We are to accept somehow and condone all these values. God's Church does not look to human reason and human values. We look to the Bible, God's Word. And in God's Word, we do find throughout the Bible that marriage is heterosexual, as Mr.

Eddington brought out. And even though the world will be going a different way, God's Church will make a strong stand for the biblical sanctity and beauty of marriage and family. We won't turn to all of these verses. We're very familiar with them. Mr. Eddington read some of them last week. But Genesis 1 brings out that God made mankind male and female. And, you know, we know that we look out and we see that that's all around us. Half of humanity roughly is male, and half of humanity is female. And, you know, as I grew up and came to look out and see the other half of humanity, the female side, then I was happy with what I saw.

Just like Adam must have been very happy when he looked and he saw Eve. Long hair, slightly smaller in stature, and differently designed. And I think he liked what he saw. They were naked. And they were not ashamed, it says. And God performed that first marriage of one man and one woman that he had just created.

When did that marriage take place? Well, if you read chapter 2 carefully, it seems that Adam was created at some time before Eve. And he then named all the animals. That took a little bit of time. And it may be later in the afternoon of that sixth day that he came around to creating Eve. Just a bit later in the afternoon, very likely. Was that the time then that God performed that wedding ceremony?

Or could it have been at the very beginning of the Sabbath day, Friday evening, as we would call it? Well, anyway, we know that God did join together as husband and wife those first two humans. And throughout the Bible, we find that marriage, biblical marriage, is very clearly defined as one man and one woman. Somebody can call it marriage otherwise, but it's not a biblical marriage. It's a worldly marriage, not a biblical type.

You know, actually, God has put there, Mr. Eddington pointed this out, God has put a natural desire. Most people desire marriage. Still, in spite of all this going on, a majority still prefer marriage with the opposite sex. Because there's a natural desire. There's a natural desire to be intimate sexually. And that can only be satisfied with the opposite sex. So that's the way it's been down through history, and I believe that will continue to be what it will be in the future with the broad majority.

But God has given powerful laws that I'd like for us to consider now that protect marriage between one man and one woman. Let's go to Exodus 20. By the way, this, which we just read in Psalm 128, is one man and one woman. And the man will be blessed. He'll see his wife, he'll see his children. He will be blessed as he obeys God's marriage and family laws. Let's go to Exodus 20. And we are very familiar with this.

We will very quickly go through some of these verses about biblical marriage. The sanctity and the beauty that God has created. In Exodus 20, verse 14, you shall not commit adultery. Marriage to one man or to one woman requires commitment. It requires fidelity. I want to tell you a story, a true story of commitment and fidelity. I'll read this from an article. This is a true story of a drive-through wedding in 1934.

When Mark first met Mady in the early 1930s, he thought she was the prettiest thing he had ever laid his eyes on. It was the midst of the Great Depression. Nobody had much money. So their dates consisted of sitting on the front porch and listening to radio or going for a car ride on Sunday afternoons. As Mark and Mady continued to see each other in 1933 and 1934, it was obvious that their relationship was becoming more serious all the time and heading toward marriage.

Well, one Sunday afternoon in July of 1934, as they were riding around on a double date with another couple, the subject of getting married came up. Mark and Mady were in the back seat. And they said, well, why don't we get married now?

So they found a justice of the peace. And driving up to his home, the JP came out and asked if he could help. Mark told them they wanted to get married. The JP took a long look and said, well, let me get my book. When Mark and Mady were sitting in the back seat of the car, the JP read the marriage ceremony. And Mark and Mady exchanged their wedding vows. The JP then scratched his throat, according to the story as it was told to me, and then requested $2 for his service. Mark and Mady were now married in a drive-through wedding. But could a marriage like this last? They had almost no money. Mark had $50 in the bank. Even then, that wasn't very much money. They had no place to stay, so they stayed at the home of Mark's parents for a while. Before too long, they were able to move into their own place, a small one-bedroom building on the family farm of Mark's parents. They lived there for about five years, and three children were born during this time. However, they were able to somehow save enough money to buy their own farm in 1939. By working hard and being frugal, they were making a go of it. Four more children were born, making a total of six children. In the 1950s, they purchased additional farm land. The family farm was a family business, and as the children grew, they contributed greatly to its success. A family closeness developed that would endure through the years. Eventually, the children grew up and got away from home, with Mark and Mady remaining on the home place as they reached the years of retirement. In the relationship, it weathered the storms of life and the stresses of raising a family, and during their elderly years, they grew closer than ever to each other. They were parted by death in 1989, when Mady died, and Mark died two years later in 1991. So yes, a drive-through marriage can last if there is love and commitment. When Mark and Mady married in 1934, it was a different culture than our country today. In telling the story to me, Mark said that when they married, they just expected to be together for the rest of their lives. That's just the way it was back then. In July of 1984, it was a joyous occasion to join with my siblings in celebrating the 50th anniversary of Mark and Mady, our parents. They had the two things that really matter in marriage, love and commitment. My dad told me that story a good number of times. I enjoyed hearing it. He would come home, and I would sometimes like for him to tell this story again. A drive-through wedding in 1934. It lasted almost 55 years. My mother died on Father's Day weekend just before it would have been 55 years of marriage.

Two years later, my father died on Mother's Day weekend, of all things. Interesting. Yes, the seventh commandment does require commitment and fidelity. But God's law requires you to not commit adultery. You are to be committed for a lifetime.

The Old Testament scriptures, many of them, show faithfulness and commitment. In fact, adultery required the death penalty of someone caught in the act of adultery. Let's go to Malachi 2. It shows that God expects a marriage to remain for two people to be absolutely committed to the marriage.

And that God forbids divorce. He does not like divorce at all. In Malachi 2, verse 14, The Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously. The Jewish people were putting away their mates. Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Did he not make them one, having a remnant of the spirit? Why one? Because he seeks godly offspring.

Therefore take heed to your spirit and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. Verse 16, The Lord God of Israel says that he hates divorce. Therefore take heed to your spirit that you do not deal treacherously. So God hates, then, when a marriage is put aside, when someone does not remain faithful to the vows that he took, the sanctity and the beauty of a marriage. Jesus repeated the very strict and tough Old Testament marriage laws in Matthew, Chapter 19.

We're going to read some of these verses just rather quickly, make a few comments. But we see the sanctity and the beauty of marriage maintained throughout the Bible. Matthew, Chapter 19, Verse 3, The Pharisees also came to him, testing him, and saying to him, Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason? He answered and said, Have you not read that he who made them at the beginning made them male and female?

And we see, then, the heterosexual marriage that the Bible consistently teaches. Made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. Then no more two but one. While God has joined together, let not man put us under. So when two people commit to marriage, God expects them to remain committed for their lifetime. They said, well, Verse 7, Why did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce and put her away?

He said, Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. I might mention, even though Moses has certain rules and regulations on how that could be done, Verse 9, Jesus said, I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery. And whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.

His disciples said to him, if such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry. Well, Jesus certainly shows that God's law does require commitment and fidelity. Do you know that two baptized members of the Church of God are not to separate and remarry someone else? Let's go to 1 Corinthians 7, and we see some instruction here from the Apostle Paul about two believing baptized members.

What if two believing baptized members cannot get along, and they separate? We have some instruction here in 1 Corinthians 7 and verse 10. Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord, a wife is not to depart from her husband. Verse 11, but even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. A husband by the same token is not to divorce his wife. This is talking about two members of the church.

Both the husband and the wife are church members. They cannot divorce and remarry someone else. They can divorce and live separately, or they can be reconciled to each other and live together again. Verse 12 gets into what if you have an unbelieving mate who is not satisfied to stay with you? Verse 12, but to the rest, the rest would be those who have a wife or a husband not in the church, not a baptized converted member of God's church.

To the rest, I, not the Lord, say, if any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. They should stay together. A woman that has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. Because the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband. Otherwise, your children would be in acclaim, but now they are holy.

But if the unbeliever departs, a person that is not in the church leaves the marriage, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. And this under bondage means that this believing person in the church could actually go out and marry someone. He would be free to marry. Verse 27 certainly brings that out. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed.

Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But even if you do marry, if the believing person has an unbelieving mate that leaves, then if you do marry, you have not sinned. If a virgin marries, of course, she has not sinned. So there are only two biblical reasons a marriage can be dissolved, and someone would be free to remarry someone else. One would be sexual immorality that Jesus brought out in Matthew 19, and the other is, here in 1 Corinthians 7, an unbeliever is not pleased to dwell with a believer.

Those would be the two biblical reasons that a marriage can be dissolved, and someone would be free to marry someone else without breaking God's law. Certainly sex before marriage is described in the Bible as a sin. Let's go back to chapter 1 Corinthians 6 and verse 18. Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. You know, young people, you should choose chastity. Make sure you don't give in to any sexual desires until you are married.

Save yourself for marriage. What about living together unmarried? Certainly the Bible teaches commitment. It would teach having a time when you celebrate your marriage, and there would be a wedding. The Bible certainly does describe wedding feasts. And it brings out that the sexual desire should be fulfilled in a permanent marriage-family relationship. Look at chapter 7, for example.

Chapter 7, verse 1, It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each one have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due to her, likewise the wife to the husband. Satisfy the sexual desire within marriage. That's what it's talking about. In verse 8, he says, But I say to the unmarried and to widows, it is good for them to remain even as I am.

But if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry, and satisfy the sexual desire that way that God intended. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. So certainly God's law then shows that sex is within the commitment and fidelity of a marriage of one man and one woman. What about same-sex marriages, homosexuals, lesbians? The Bible clearly forbids it. You can go back to Leviticus 18 and find a verse. Leviticus 20 has a verse. You can go back to Romans 1. We might go back to Romans 1. This is so clear here that God does forbid same-sex homosexual relationships and marriage.

In Romans 1 and verse 26, the penalty of their error, which was due. Let's also go to 1 Corinthians 6 and verse 9. So the Scriptures are clear about same-sex marriages, homosexual relationships, lesbian relationships. In 1 Corinthians 6 and verse 9, Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived, neither fornicators, that would be sex before marriage, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, being unfaithful within a marriage, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkers, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

Verse 11, And such were some of you, some of you members of the church in Corinth, such were, not as past tense, such were some of you, but you were washed, they repented, they were forgiven of their sins, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God. So these verses make it very clear, then, that God forbids same-sex marriages, homosexual, lesbian-type relationships.

You know, if carefully obey God's laws, bring happiness and joy, we're talking about the sanctity of marriage. These verses show the sanctity, the holiness of marriage. It truly is holy matrimony. And those of us who are married that have wives or husbands, it is something very holy in God's sight that we are participating in, the sanctity, the holiness of marriage. But you know, think about the beauty of it. Again, Adam and Eve, both of them, must have liked what they saw.

Eve saw Adam also in the nude. They saw each other in the nude, and they liked what they saw. There's no indication they didn't like it.

A natural desire was there. Adam liked what he saw with Eve, and Eve liked what she saw with Adam. It's a beautiful thing to this day. Courtship, a man and woman, a time of special tenderness in the courtship, putting your best foot forward. There are things later on that married couples do that they would not dare do in courtship.

That's kind of sad, isn't it? We should continue that special tender, caring relationship of courtship. But two people in courtship come to get to know each other. They want to share life together. And the wedding, then. They want to make it official. There's a time of love and commitment and fidelity, exchanging vows, cake-cutting, dancing.

The honeymoon, at last, totally together. A time of pleasing and caring. It's a courtship and wedding, honeymoon. Then children and family come along. And a lifetime of sharing. Yes, with daily challenges, no doubt, along the way. But the joy of accomplishments.

You know, how could you ever lose the tenderness of courtship and wedding and honeymoon? You know, the sad truth is that many people do lose it. They lose it, and it is sad. I want to read a story, another true story, of two people that lost it.

I can find my starting point here. It's a true story that was told to me a number of years ago. And I've labeled this as Emma's story. I'll read what I wrote down about this story of Emma.

Around 1910, that would be over a hundred years ago, as a child, Emma moved from California to Oregon in a covered wagon. She was young, probably around ten. So, as she matured and reached adulthood, around the age of twenty, she met Larry.

And they dated for a while and got married. But the marriage before too long was miserable. Larry mistreated and abused Emma. But back then, divorce was not popular and very uncommon, so she stuck it out.

But finally, after twenty-three years, Emma could take it no longer and she got a divorce.

At least there had not been any children. But for twenty-three years, it had been a miserable marriage for Emma. So here she is in her mid-forties divorced.

And she met a man named Charles. And they fell in love and they got married. And for the first time, Emma felt really loved and appreciated. Charles was tender, kind, a true gentleman. At last there was life after marriage for Emma.

For seventeen years, she was happily and blissfully married to Charles. But then, suddenly, Charles died, leaving Emma widowed in her early sixties.

But that's not the end of the story. Guess what? When Larry, her first husband, found out that Emma's second husband had died, he had never remarried. He asked Emma for a date. And Emma, being skeptical at first, eventually accepted. Larry persuaded her things would be very different. And sure enough, Larry had changed. He was a different man. Before long, Larry begged Emma to marry him again and give him a second chance.

And so Emma accepted, and they were married. And sure enough, it was different. Larry had grown. He was kind, loving, and caring for Emma. And he verbally expressed his tender love and appreciation for her every day. This second marriage to Larry lasted until his death thirteen years later.

My wife and I first met Emma in Salem, Oregon, in 1980, a few years after Larry had died. Emma was now around age eighty. We visited her numerous times, and she would always tell her, tell us her story. Three marriages to two different men, and especially the second one with Larry.

And she always had a glint in her eye when she told us that every day in that second round with Larry, he would turn to her and say, Have I told you lately that I love you? These are words taken from the popular song written by Scottie Wiseman for the 1944 musical film, Sang Neighbors Sing, with the repeating line, Well darling, I'm telling you now. Have I told you lately that I love you? Well darling, I'm telling you now. We've probably all heard that song. Over the years, there have been many versions of this well-known song by various performers. Well, Emma was so delighted to hear these words from Larry every day. He indeed had changed, and he won back Emma's heart, and they had thirteen happy years together. But just think, it could have been very different with that first round. There didn't need to even be any second round later on. It could have been very different. You know, marriage is a beautiful thing. A very beautiful thing. It is holy. Holy matrimony. We need to make our marriages happy and maintain them. Five very quick biblical keys to a happy marriage. Number one, let your marriage reflect Jesus Christ and the Church. Men, we need to imitate Jesus Christ. He gave himself for the Church. Are we giving ourselves for our wives? In every way, giving ourselves to our wives, as Jesus Christ gave himself and continues to give himself for the Church. So let your marriage reflect Jesus Christ and the Church. Ephesians 5 has something to say about that. Number two, make your marriage a love relationship. And express that love like Larry did. Have I told you lately that I love you? Our maid is not going to know if we don't express it. And we need to continue to express the closeness and tenderness of marriage every day, just as Larry did with Emma. So make your marriage a love relationship. Number three, work to make your marriage successful. There's a saying that marriage may be made in heaven, but the maintenance must be done on earth. And that is true. Happy marriages don't just happen. It takes knowledge and it takes work. It's not just head knowledge. It's application. No amount of head knowledge, counseling, marriage seminars will mystically change your marriage and make it happy. But we have to work at it to make it happy. So work at your marriage. Successful marriages. There are two people that work at it. Number four, make your marriage a lifetime date. Consider your marriage as a lifetime date. Court your wife. Court your husband every day. In courtship, you won her heart or his heart. Continue to win his heart or her heart for a lifetime. Number five, treat your mate better than anyone else. Sometimes it can be quite the opposite. Mates treat other people better than they treat their own mate. Treat your own wife better. You know, I was told a story about Herbert Armstrong. He was very much a gentleman to his wife. There would be meetings and things he would be involved in. And somebody might come and say, Mr. Armstrong, there's somebody calling that needs to talk with you. Anybody that called, he said, well, tell them I'll call them back in a few minutes. But guess what? If Loma Armstrong, his wife, called, he would drop everything. I've been told this story. He would drop everything. He knew that his wife would only call if it was very important. He put her first. And so, treat your wife better than anyone else. Well, we've covered a few things about the beauty and the sanctity of marriage. Maybe sometime we can say more about it. But remember the two true stories, that of love and commitment and fidelity, the drive-through wedding in 1934. And remember Emma's story and Larry, the second go-around with his wife, that I told you lately that I love you. Brother, let's thank God for the sanctity, holiness, and beauty of marriage and family.