God's Law on Marriage and Family

Mr. David Mills. I'd like to begin the sermon today on marriage and family with some quotes. Wonderful thoughts about family. Beecher said we are to be grouped together and reared day by day in that first of churches, the family. Very true quote.

An English proverb says a man with a happy family is a king beside his own fireplace. And Cropper said without great families there can be no great nations. A Russian proverb says the family is the one safe island in an unknown sea. And one final one by Thomas Jefferson, the happiest moments of my life have been the few which I passed at home in the bosom of my family. Well, certainly family is very, very important, and so, of course, is marriage upon which families are based.

Ruth Bell Graham said a happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. Mignon McLaughlin said a successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. Candace Bergen said, I used to believe marriage would diminish me, that you had to be someone less to live with someone else when, of course, you have to be someone more. It does require more. It requires us to grow and be more than we have been. And Joseph Barth said marriage is our last best chance to grow up.

Today let's talk about marriage and family. Recently, our chairman of the Council of Elders wrote in a letter that Christians have always understood the importance of family. After our relationship with God, he said no relationships are more important than family. In the end of the letter, we say may we all value our young ones and remember the importance God places on family. So marriage and family, the foundation of successful communities and nations, husbands, wives, children, grandchildren, that's what we're talking about today. Something pretty wonderful, actually. No wonder when you think about it, God has given some powerful laws that govern marriage and family.

We want to consider them today. If carefully obeyed, these laws produce happiness and success. If they're disobeyed, they produce unhappiness, misery, and failure. No wonder we see so much unhappiness today because these laws are not being followed. Some of the questions we want to address in the sermon, what are these laws that govern marriage and family?

What is the biblical structure of a family? What's the role exactly of a man, a husband, a father, grandfather? What's the role of a woman, a wife, a mother, grandmother? What about children? How do they fit in to a family? Very important way that they fit in. What about child-rearing? Some of the principles of child-rearing that parents need to be aware of and applying.

Why is adultery wrong? What's so wrong about that? Many people reason around it. What about dating before marriage? What are some of the principles to consider? What about premarital sex? What does the Bible teach? What about abortion? What about living together arrangements? Millions of people just live together. What's wrong with that? They see nothing wrong with it. What about gay marriage? Many people reason around that as well and say, what's wrong with gay marriage? Brethren, when you think about it, many of us who have been older in age and also maybe in the church a long time, are firmly fixed on the biblical principles and answers to these questions.

But I'm giving this sermon also with it in mind that the younger generation may be influenced by this world, and we need to be rock solid on the biblical answers to questions about marriage and family, and not be influenced by the values and the ways of this world. In no degree do we want to be spotted by the world. We want to be, in fact, totally unspotted from the world. Well, let's begin. What are some of the basic laws and information and instruction on marriage and family? Where do we begin? Let's go right back to the very first chapter in the Bible.

That is Genesis 1, also Genesis 2. Here we have the beginning, you might say, the origin of marriage and family. Genesis 1, what's even that as something here? Genesis 1, in verse 26, God said, Let us make man in our image according to our likeness, and let them have dominion on things on the earth.

So, verse 27, God created man in his own image. In the image of God, he created him. Brethren, we bear the image of God contrary to any other beings on the earth. They have their own unique image, but human beings have the image of God.

Of course, God is also talking about his character image, his nature, his mind. A man ultimately is to bear that image that God has as well. Well, it goes on to say, male and female, he created them. You know, most people have no problem with that. Most are very happy that half of the human race is the other sex, that not everybody is just in his own sex. No, God created humans, male and female. And notice in verse 28, something very important. God blessed them and said to them, now this then would be something God said to Adam and Eve after Eve was created. This is found in chapter 1, but it actually happened after something described in chapter 2.

After Eve was created, he said to them, Adam and Eve, the first humans, be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it. Notice that God said this to be fruitful. What does that mean? And multiply. It means to have children. And children, of course, involve a sexual relationship. So, have a sexual relationship, but we're going to see that it's within the confines of marriage that they would have sexual relationships and have children and be fruitful and multiply.

It wasn't just to be like a bunch of animals going out and having sex with just anybody and everybody. No, this was controlled as far as reproduction and being fruitful and multiplying. So, we come to chapter 2 and we get more of just how the first family came to be.

In verse 18, Genesis 2 and verse 18, the Lord said, It is not good that man should be alone. Most men come to realize that. They especially realize it around when they reach adulthood. They'd like to meet the right person to spend their life with. And most, of course, young ladies feel the same way. They'd like to meet someone that they could share their life with.

They'd like to meet a lifetime companion. And they'd like to have a family. They'd like to have children. Most people do desire to have marriage and family. So, God then said, It's not good that the man should be alone. I'll make a helper comparable to him. So, this one that God would create, it would be the female, Eve, would be a helper to the man.

The man already had been created, what, maybe an hour or two before? Maybe longer. Anyway, he had time to name the animals. And by the time we come to the last part of verse 20, after naming the animals, it says, But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. No one he could really share his life with. He was there all alone.

What kind of life would that be? Well, it would be a pretty lonely life. He did not have a companion to go along beside him. And so, God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept. And he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh, and with the rib he had taken, he made it into a woman, and he brought her to the man. And Adam said, when he saw the woman, he was very happy, obviously.

He was not displeased. There was no indication of that. He was very happy with what he saw. He said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of the man. And so, was it around this time that, well, verse 24, A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Maybe around this time, is where God told them, Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it.

Maybe this is about that time that God said that to them. You are now husband and wife. You are to become one flesh. And we'll read a verse later that shows becoming one flesh means a sexual union of male and female, a sexual relationship. And so, they were together then, husband and wife, and it says they were not naked. Well, there we have the first marriage, and we have the first family.

We also have something indicated here in chapter 1 as far as structure. Obviously, here, God made the man first, and then he made the female second as a helper to the man. This shows that God intended for the man to be the head from the very beginning.

Now, verses that you can read in Ephesians 5 and 1 Peter 3, we might turn to some of those verses in the sermon, but we've read them many times that a wife is to submit herself to her husband, that the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. But then it quickly goes on down to show what kind of head the husband is to be. A husband is to love his wife and to cherish her, even as Christ loves and cherishes the church, and to lead his wife in love. And yet, there's no doubt about it as to who is to do the leading. There's no doubt about it, the one that is called upon to rule in the family and has the responsibility of being the head.

We, I think, will not turn to Ephesians 5. We've read those verses many times in 1 Peter 3, but 1 Peter 3 verse 1 says the same thing. The same thing. Wives, be subject or be submissive to your own husbands, so that if anyone does not obey the word, without a word, they may be won by the conduct of the wives. And that has happened many, many times. We've noticed that over the years.

You know, in spite of this instruction, we live in a Christian nation, right? But you have to put quotations around that Christian anymore. There's an article that came out in Reader's Digest magazine. It's the June 2009 issue on page 28 with a survey that was done around the world with one question.

A survey with one question. The question was, who's the boss in your family? Well, they went to 16 nations, and 11 of the nations put Dad, the man, as the boss in the family.

India, in India, they found 69% of the people. In Brazil, 67%. Malaysia, 67%. France, 64%. Singapore had 61%. China, 56%. And the Philippines, 55%. Spain, 55%. All those were well over half.

Said that the man, that dad, is the boss in the family. But countries with the most votes for mom, guess who is at the top? You get it right. The US and the Netherlands. 52% said mom is the boss in the family, in the US.

And in Canada, 48%. In the United Kingdom, 47%. In Australia, 46%. I find it interesting that all of these happen to be Israel-Lite-ish countries. All of them. 63% of women in the United States said mom calls the shots.

And this survey is probably correct in our country. And we'll read a verse, maybe in a few minutes, that indicates that this is the way it is predicted to be. So, who's the boss in the family? You know, in America, quite often it's mom that is wearing the pants.

And what about your family? You know, we have the scriptures, I think we all recognize, but it's clear that the man has that responsibility, resting squarely on his shoulders, but our men rising to the occasion to be the head, and to take the lead in their families, and to lead the family as Christ guides the church.

Christ is patient, He is loving, He gave Himself to the church. Let me say He's still the boss. And when something is not right, He will take care of it in due time. He may wait a while, but Christ is in control. He's the boss. And the man should be loving and patient and kind and give Himself to his wife and family, but he should not be afraid to stand up when he needs to and get things going the right way when things aren't going quite right, with either the wife or the children to be able to stand and handle it in the way it should be handled. It takes a lot of love, it takes a lot of wisdom, it takes a lot of patience on the part of the head of the family. Now, some men think they are head of the family, but actually the wife still wears the pants.

I remember very well one man telling me many years ago that before he and his wife came into the church, they had a 50-50 marriage. 50-50. And Mr. Armstrong said, you show me a 50-50 marriage and I'll show you a woman that wears the pants every time. Well, in this 50-50 marriage, that was the way it was. Well, they came into God's church and they began to understand verses that we are reading today about the man as to be the head of the family. One day, after being in the church for a little while, the wife was going to go into town to do some shopping, and she said, well, honey, while I'm gone, would you do this and do that and do the other?

Well, you can see who was calling the shots. Well, she came back home after a while from shopping and nothing had been done. And she said, well, I thought I told you to do this and that and the other. He said, well, let's sit down and have a little Bible study.

So they went over some of these verses and he said, you know, our marriage has not been going this way, has it? He was able to win her over and she didn't get offended.

And at this time that I came to know this family, this man was very much the head of his family, and his wife respected him for what he had done. So you see, he probably thought he was the boss at one time, but the wife was actually calling the shots. Mr. Herbert Armstrong always enjoyed in a sermon about family, about husbands and wives, telling about...

I can't remember if this was kind of like a humorous story, probably was and not real, but the husband and wife agreed when they got married that he would make all the major decisions. Any major decisions, he would make them. And she would make all the smaller decisions. And well, what was the outcome of that? The man said, well, you know, there just never have been any major decisions in our marriage. Mr. Armstrong always enjoyed telling that one.

But the husband does have that responsibility. I think we all realize it. But in reality, are the men rising to be the head as they should be? You know, something that's very important as far as our leadership is concerned. Look at 1 Timothy. Let's do turn to this one. Our elders and our deacons do need to be the head of their families in a godly and biblical way.

In 1 Timothy 3 and verse 4. And it's talking here about a bishop in verse 1. The position of a bishop is an overseer. And in verse 4, one of the qualifications of a bishop, one who rules his own house, rules how?

Rules it well. Not as a dictator, not overbearing, not as mistreating and abusing his wife and children. No, but with love. But yet, he is the head. One who rules his own house while having his children in submission with all reference. For if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God? It is one of those qualifications an elder needs to have.

And also deacons in the church as well. Verse 8 begins a discussion of qualifications of deacons. It talks about several things. And then in verse 11, Likewise, their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things. Let deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well. So certainly, a husband then needs to, with God's Spirit guiding him, know how to lead his wife. And the wife at the same time needs to learn how to be a helper to her husband.

One of the finest passages in all of the Bible is in Proverbs 31. The Proverbs 31 woman is praised. But if you read that, you will find that her whole orientation is toward her head, toward her husband. Helping her husband, helping her family, helping her children. Of course, while she does get out into the community and she serves as well, she reaches out to the needy in her community as well. But her orientation is toward her family and her husband, first of all, and then out toward others as well. Did you know the very long hair that a woman is to wear is symbolic of her submission to the authority of her husband?

Yes, that long hair represents something. Let's just read that because we've not read that lately. 1 Corinthians 11. It is a good passage to have in mind, and there's instruction here for the men and the women. And the length of hair is even symbolic of some of those responsibilities and roles that men and women have, that husbands and wives have. In 1 Corinthians 11.3, I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ.

Every man has a head too. So the husband shouldn't think, well, nobody's over me. Well, Christ is over you, and the church has certainly authority over the husband. I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God, God the Father. Every man, praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonors his head. We're going to see that that means his head is covered with long hair. That's what he's talking about. He's not talking about a hat. He's talking about covered. He's talking about long hair.

Every woman, by contrast, verse 5, every woman who prays with her head uncovered, that is, we'll see that to be short hair, dishonors her head. For that is one and the same as if her head were shaved. She's going to wear short hair. As a man does, she may as well shave it off, Paul says. For if a woman is not covered, that is, with long hair, let her also be shorn. But if it is shameful for a woman to be shorn or shaved, let her be covered.

Let her have long hair. For a man, indeed, ought not to cover his head, that is, with long hair, since he is the image and glory of God. But woman is the glory of man. For man is not from the woman, but woman from the man, nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man. For this caused the woman not to have a symbol of authority on her head, that long hair, because of the angels.

Even showing some of the authority of the angels are under authority, and the woman ought to be under the authority of her husband, and be submissive to his leadership. In verse 11, neither is the man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man in the Lord. For as the woman was from the man, even so the man also is through the woman, but all things are from God.

So, you know, we don't need to get the battle of the sexes going here, Paul says. We need each other. Verse 12, for as the woman was from the man, even so the man also is through the woman. Verse 13, judge among yourselves, is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? That is, with short hair? Does not even nature itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a dishonor to him?

One of the strong verses in the Bible, proving that a man ought to have short hair. In verse 15, but if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her. For her hair is given to her for a covering. You know, there are churches and people that believe, as a part of their religious belief, that a woman ought to wear a hat. That is what they think this covering is. It is not talking about a hat, it is talking about the length of her hair.

She ought to have long hair. Her hair is given to her for a covering. The ones who believe that ought to just read this whole passage of these verses we're reading now. A woman's hair is her covering, and that she ought to have the long hair that a woman is to have. Paul goes on to say, if anyone seems to be contentious and has his own ideas, we have no such custom, nor do the churches of God.

We just submit to God's Word. When we're talking about things such as the man being the head and the woman submitting, then we hope that the man is under the authority of those over him. We hope that we all agree with what God's Word is telling us that we should do.

There are verses that also bring out the wife's responsibility as a homemaker and watching over the children, the rearing of the children. The mother spends a lot more time with the children. She has them, nurses them, helps to rear them. Notice Titus 2. It's a good passage that points out that role and responsibility of the wife and the mother in a family.

That's a very important role. Motherhood is being a wife and being a homemaker. Being a mother, training the children is a tremendously important responsibility. Our nation was a lot stronger when we had that type of structure. When women were at home and they were watching after the children.

Historically, our society was a lot stronger. And our nation, which means our nation was a lot stronger. The way that we're doing things is not really working out. The proof is in the pudding. In Titus 2, verse 3, the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things. So the older women are given some things to certainly strive for and work on. In verse 4, that they admonish, the older women admonish the young women to love their husbands. And how to do that? To love their children. Certainly be the teachers of the children as they come along. To be discreet, chaste, homemakers. Women are so good at helping to make a home. Homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God may not be blasphemed. So, you know, God's Word has a lot to say about the structure of the family. We've read just a few of the verses in this sermon, but how are we doing in our marriages?

Are husbands functioning as the head of the family and leading the family with love? And helping in the making of decisions, the handling of money? Or do we follow the American model of so many families where the wife wears the pants? Well, I don't think that's going to work. I don't think God is going to bless it, do you? I think He's only going to bless His way of doing it.

And so I hope we all agree that God's way is the only way that is going to really work and produce success in marriages.

What about children? You know, the fifth commandment is that you shall honor your father and mother, that your days may be long upon the earth. That's found in Exodus 20 and verse 12.

But you know, this verse, when you think about it, places a lot of responsibility first and foremost upon the parents of that child. Because before the child even grows up to be aware of anything, the parents have him. He's born, and even there's a lot of mental development that has to take place in his mind, in the child's mind, in those first years of his life. And the parents then, from the very beginning, have this child. If they take this child as a little tender plant, you might say, the Bible does compare children to olive plants. If the parents take this tender little plant and train it and develop it, it will grow up to be a nice, beautiful child, a nice, beautiful adult, human being, who will then turn around and honor his parents and also be an honorable citizen in the community. But if there's neglect, or if there's abuse, or if the child is just allowed to grow up on his own, and it's like a tree that is allowed to just go its own way, when it gets mature, you're not going to bend it some other way. It becomes firm in the way that it was allowed to grow up. All too often, today, children have not been reared. They have not been taught. The Scriptures then place a lot of responsibility in the family upon the rearing of the children, the nourishing of the children. Let's just notice a few verses in Proverbs. Proverbs 1 and verse 8.

Proverbs 1 and verse 8. My son, this is an appeal to receive instruction, teaching that is being given by, in this case, the father first and then the mother. My son, hear the instruction of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother. Here, dad and mom are very much involved in teaching. A child doesn't come knowing anything.

He has to be taught. And so, parents, fathers and mothers, notice that fathers are not left out. They're not absent from the teaching. They are very much involved. They're mentioned first, even. Hear the instruction of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother. They will be graceful ornaments on your head and chains around your neck.

You're going to be equipped with all those things that make your life good and successful. You will follow the instruction that is being given to you. My son, verse 10, if sinners entice you. And again and again, you can read in the early chapters of Proverbs. An appeal for the children. Listen to my teaching. I'm teaching you some good things. Please hear and accept and receive the teaching from your father and your mother.

Chapter 2, verse 1, my son, if you receive my words and treasure my commands within you, so that you incline your ear to wisdom, then you'll have all these good things and blessings. Chapter 3, verse 1, my son, do not forget my law, but let your heart keep my commands. For length of days and long life and peace, they will add to you. Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long. Here, chapter 3, verse 1, the parents help to make that possible, by the teaching and the training that the parents provide to the child.

Parents have a tremendous responsibility, then, to teach and teach and teach their children. What should they teach them? Physical knowledge, spiritual knowledge, every kind of knowledge that there is about the world that they're growing up in. Teach, teach, teach. Show children the way that it should be done. Nourish them and train them.

Let's notice a couple of verses over in the New Testament on this. In Ephesians 6, verses 1-4, children obey your parents in the Lord. Now, this would have to be talking to older children, wouldn't it? Children that are able to understand, that are able to comprehend, children that are able to recognize what is right and what is wrong. How does a child begin to recognize what is right and wrong? Pretty early on. By the time they can begin to understand language somewhat, in those early years, they begin to be able to distinguish between right and wrong. Parents need to be pointing it out to them, that, hey, this is right, this is the way it should be done, this is wrong.

If the child is caught doing something wrong, explain to him why it is wrong and what is the right way to do it. So children need to be shown even at a very early age. Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth. But it does say it should be done the right way. You fathers, and I would say that includes mothers also, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

And let's read also from Colossians chapter 3. Just over a few more pages. Colossians chapter 3 and verse 18, wives, submit to your own husbands as is fitting in the Lord. Again, it gets back to the basic structure in the family. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. Then children, obey your parents and all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.

And fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Sometimes parents are too rough on their children. They discourage them. And they do this thing of prophesying failure. They say, you're going to amount to nothing. You're no good. And sure enough, the child grows up and he doesn't succeed. Whereas he should be encouraged, he should be nourished, and told that he will be of success in life if he will apply himself. You know, teaching has to be in a very positive way. And we do prophesy success or failure by the way we handle child rearing.

And we need to be aware of that. Parents should not be afraid to discipline. Let's notice a few verses in Proverbs on discipline. Proverbs 13 and verse 24. The Bible teaches that there should be teaching. A child should be taught the law, you might say, what is right and what is wrong. And a child, or let's say the instruction should be enforced. What good does it do to instruct a child on what is the right way to go and then not see that he does it?

Of course you need to teach him according to the Scriptures, but you need to not only teach the law, but enforce the law. The parent is the one that is in that position to enforce the law. Proverbs 13 and verse 24, He who spares his rod hates his son. But he who loves him disciplines him promptly. And the margin says early. Let's very quickly read a couple of other passages here in Proverbs on discipline. Proverbs 19 and verse 18. Proverbs 19 and verse 18, Chasing your son while there is hope. And that really means to get started early with him. You wait until he's already set in his ways, maybe in his mid-teen years and you start trying to do it, it's a little bit late. He's to set in the way by that time. Chasing your son while there is hope. Do not set your heart on his destruction. It shouldn't be rougher than we should be, but we should be able to be effective in enforcing what is right and what is wrong. Proverbs 23 and verse 13. Proverbs 23 and verse 13, Do not withhold correction from a child. Sometimes parents do withhold correction when a child needs it. He's out of line. He needs discipline. For if you beat him with a rod, and I think this beat has to be explained not to abuse him, but with a spanking, not doing any body harm at all. If you spank, then maybe we could say, he will not die. If you spank him, you shall spank him and deliver his soul from hell or the grave. So you will do a lot of good by having your child to be obedient to you. What should parents expect? They should expect obedience from their children, and the parents ought to be in control. All too often today, the prophecy is fulfilled in Isaiah 3 and verse 5. Let's read that. Children become a real problem, and the parents don't know how. Today, many parents have lost that knowledge of child-rearing.

Many parents are oppressed, as it says here, by their children. They don't know. They kind of throw their hands up. How do you control this child? You make him obey, and you try to get an early start when the child is young. Get an early start in teaching him obedience to you, because you're his authority.

You're the one that teaches him. You're the one that explains what the law is. And then you're the one to enforce the law, to see that he doesn't. Because you're teaching him the truth, you're teaching him the right things to do. You expect him to do it, to be obedient. In Isaiah 3 and verse 5, the people will be oppressed. Oh, we see a lot of this today. Everyone by another, everyone by his neighbor.

The child will be insolent toward the elder, even toward his own parents. Insolent, disobedient, and the based toward the honorable. Look at verse 12. As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. Oh, my people, those who lead you cause you to err and destroy the way of your paths.

And so, parents do not need to be oppressed by their children. So what about it, parents? Are you oppressed by your children? Sometimes throw your hands up, you say, oh boy, I just don't know what to do. Well, if your children are small, or even that they are in their teen years, they still eat the food you provide, or they still sleep in the bed you provide and stay in the home. As long as they are there, you have control. There are ways that you can gain control, even when they get beyond the age where you would spank. There are ways to gain control. How can you know whether your children are under control to you? Well, how does God find out? He throws a test. Maybe he has smaller children, at four, five, six, or eight, or ten. Let's just say smaller children. You can tell your child to do something, and then see if he does it. If you tell him to do something, like take out the garbage, or go get that book and bring it to me, and he looks at maybe the book and then looks at you and shrugs his shoulder, you've just found out something about your child. He's not under control to you. He's not obedient to you. I heard of one situation where the husband was away quite a bit, and the poor mother had several children. She just couldn't bring them under control. So, old dad sat down with them. And there is something about dad's deeper voice and everything that puts a bit more fear in children.

He told, he had four or five children. They had several four or five children. He told one to go do something, and they didn't do it. So he swatted the child. You go bring me that book right now. The child looked at him and I think swatted him a second time. Harder! You bring me that book. And he went and brought the book. Before too long he had this child running around. Okay, go put the book over yonder. Put it there. Bring me that. A little exercise is teaching that child to obey. He had several children that had to be running around like that. And one situation where one parent told his child to sit until he was told he was to sit in the chair until he was told he could get up. Well, and I think there the parent had to maybe swathe a time or two as well to get the child to really understand you sit in that chair until I tell you to get up. Sometimes you've got to really be firm and maybe sound a little bit mean, I guess. But you've got to mean business. And it's for the good of the child that he learns to be obedient to you, the parent. This parent told the child to sit in that chair until I tell you to get up. The parent got busy. The child finally obeyed, and the parent got busy doing something and came back a couple of hours later and found a child still in that chair fast asleep. So, you know, the parents can gain control. And I think you have to, when you don't use spanking, you have to use other means. But you're still the boss. Your children still need to be obedient to you. A good book on discipline is by James Dobson, Dare to Discipline. I have a copy of that at home. And it's a very good book that came out a good number of years ago. Older children, we would encourage older children to just simply choose to obey their parents. You know, and the parents ought to encourage their children as they come along to continue to be obedient to them, because that's what God commands. So, you know, a lot more could be said about child rearing, but every family want, every husband and wife, when they have children, want the children to be obedient. They want the children. And, of course, once they are obedient to the parents, the parents will shower every blessing upon them and reward them for their obedience.

And so every family can be that way if we apply the principles in the Bible and work at them. But it's going to take some work. As we can see, there are powerful laws at work, then, in a marriage and family. The seventh commandment protects the marriage. Thou shalt not commit adultery.

And Jesus expanded this to mean not even to look with lust after another man or woman.

So even up here in the mind and in the heart, he said, if you do lust after someone else, you've committed adultery already in your heart. God's law protects the marriage. A man or woman is to devote himself, herself, to his mate. He has made a lifetime vow, a lifetime commitment, and he does not look or even think about anyone else other than his mate. God hates putting away. Let's read that in Malachi 2 when people begin to look elsewhere. And when adultery is committed, then God hates it. When there's a divorce, a breakup of a marriage, something that God hates.

Malachi 2, verse 14, Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously. Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But did he not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? Just one. One man, one woman. Because God seeks godly offspring.

A godly offspring. Therefore, take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. For the Lord God of Israel says that he hates divorce. And the last part of the verse says to take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously. So Jesus Christ in the New Testament magnified God's law.

He brought out the New Testament verses bring out there are only two reasons that as far as church members that a marriage could be dissolved. And then someone can go and marry another. One would be immorality. If a mate decides to go out and commit adultery and immorality takes place, then it breaks up the marriage. Then the defrauded person would be free to remarry.

The second reason would be in 1 Corinthians 7 when an unbelieving mate is not pleased in the marriage. One is in the church and one is not in the church, and the one not in the church departs, separates, gets a divorce. Then the member in that case would be free to remarry.

Those are the only two reasons that a marriage, a member of the church could have a divorce and then remarry. And even there, if he were to remarry, it would need to be in the church. He should date and marry within the church. God's laws, then, even have things to say about a person that is free to marry and who he dates. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7 near the end of that chapter that if someone is free to remarry, only in the Lord. So we teach that marriage ought to be between believers.

And why should a member of the church go out and marry someone in the world? Is Christ going to marry a woman of the world or someone that's converted? So we teach that dating and marriage ought to be with believers. Dating is a wonderful opportunity for young people. We encourage it. But, of course, again, we encourage dating and marriage within the church. Powerful laws are at work, and we will be blessed if we obey them in principles that we find in the Bible.

What about premarital sex? Some people don't see what's so wrong about that. Well, in Hebrews 13 and 4, God forbids premarital sex. We'll read a couple of passages on this. There are many in the Bible. Hebrews 13 and 4, marriage is honorable among all. What we're talking about is a good thing. Marriage is honorable. And it goes on to say the bad, undefiled sex within marriage is good. Very good, in fact. And that's what Paul is talking about here when he says the bad, undefiled. But he goes on to say, fornicators, that's premarital sex.

And adulterers, God will judge. So, someone that wants to go out and have premarital sex, that is wrong. A young person should practice abstinence. The Bible teaches abstinence before marriage. Chastity, complete chastity as far as sex. No sex at all. So, I know that's very different than what many people in the world do today. But we don't want to follow the ways of the world.

Let's go to Romans 6, verse 16. Romans... No, 1 Corinthians, I'm sorry. Got the wrong passage here. 1 Corinthians 6, verse 16. Do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? When they're joined together sexually, you're one body with that harlot? For the two, he says, shall become one flesh.

That's when God made Adam and Eve. They were to become one flesh. So, somebody that has sex with a harlot has become one flesh or one body with a harlot. And verse 18 goes on to say, flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality, sins against his own body.

And so, what should a person do? He should practice abstinence until marriage. Chapter 7 goes on to explain that. In verse 2, chapter 7, verse 2. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. And then let the husband render to the wife the affection due. He's talking sexually. And likewise, the wife to her husband. And the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband, and likewise, the husband does not have authority over his body, but the wife.

Do not deprive one another. He's talking sexually. And you can read on down. And in verse 9, if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. Let the sexual desires be fulfilled within marriage, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. See, the Bible speaks very plainly, then, that there should be sexual fulfillment within marriage.

All too often today, people have a lot of sex before marriage, and they get married, and they get away from it. That's just the opposite of the way that it should be. So, premarital sex? No. Many other verses in the Bible would certainly forbid that someone would do that.

What about just living together unmarried? Today, millions of Americans live together unmarried? No. Studies have shown that there is less commitment among those who just live together. And if it doesn't work out, they can just leave. If it's nothing legal, walk away from it. That's not the way God looks at the way marriage and family should be. There is a deep commitment made when two people are married. They take vows to be with each other and cherish and support each other.

Our wedding vows say, do you then? And we give the man's name faithfully promised and covenant with God. In the presence of these witnesses to take, and the woman's name, to be your lawful wedded wife. In sickness and in health, in good times and difficult times, for as long as you both shall live. To love her, cherish her, honor her, and provide for her.

And the wife's vow is very similar. It's a lifetime vow that is made. There's a commitment. There's no commitment, just living together. The Bible does certainly teach them that a man and woman should get married and make that commitment. Covenant between themselves in the presence of witnesses, covenant with God to be married to this person as long as he shall live. What about same-sex marriage? It's a very controversial issue.

You know, when our president and vice president accepted gay marriage, I think earlier this year, I thought to myself, well, I think that that will not go across too well. They may just have lost the election as far as what is about to happen in just over a week now. But guess what? It's not even been an issue. Because America just kind of accepts it and goes along with it.

Instead of it being a major issue, which it should be. Because gay marriage is not acceptable with God. It's not okay with God. Notice a few verses. Leviticus 18 and verse 22. Leviticus chapter 18 and verse 22. And here we read, You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination. That's how God views gay relationships. Let's go to chapter 20 and verse 13. If a man lies with a male as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them. Now, you have the Bible forbids gay relationships, homosexual relationships. Let's go to the New Testament. Romans chapter 1. Romans chapter 1 and verse 26. Romans chapter 1 verse 26. For this reason God gave them up to vile affections. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. Homosexuality actually goes against what is natural. Verse 27, Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due. The other Bible does then condemn gay marriage, homosexual relationships. It is something that must be repented of by those who would ever get involved in that lifestyle. Let's notice in 1 Corinthians 6. There is forgiveness like any other sin. A person can be forgiven adultery. A person can be forgiven premarital sex. A person can be forgiven homosexual or gay relationships and acts. 1 Corinthians chapter 6 and verse 9. Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators nor idolaters. See, fornicators will be premarital sex. Idolaters, adulterers, those who are unfaithful within marriage, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, revilers, extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. Notice it goes on to say, verse 11, and such were some of you. Some of the Corinthians had been in that lifestyle before. But you were washed. You cleaned up. You were sanctified, given God's Spirit, made holy. But you were justified by the blood of Christ in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.

So yeah, those who are involved in any of the sexual sins can be forgiven if they will repent. They can be covered by the blood of Christ. Brethren, in conclusion, why is what we're talking about so important today? A lot of what we have talked about is not new to long-time members of the church. I just am giving it because I don't want, and especially our younger generation, to let the ways of this world rub off where you say, well, it's not all that bad, maybe. People are going the way they are going, and begin to be conditioned to these sins which in many, many ways harm and destroy the family, marriage and the family. There are powerful laws that protect marriage and the family.

Why do God give such powerful laws? Because the human family is preparation for entering God's eternal family. A human family is to be just a little small colony that is like God's kingdom, like God's eternal family. Satan hates God's family plan, and he seeks to destroy it. That's why there is an attack on marriage and on the family. That's why in so many ways there are so many violations. While even movies and music and advertisements, they all entice us to think sexually. We won't have that in the world tomorrow. But so much of the world is trying to misuse sex. And in a way, they're showing that sex is one of the greatest things that God ever made, but it's perverted by mankind through Satan's influence. Sex is one of the great things that God created. But to succeed, it must be used within the laws as God has commanded in the Bible, which I hope we all agree with. So, you know, Satan is attacking the family. But family, what we've talked about this afternoon is a wonderful, wonderful thing. And is there anything any better? Does it come any better than husband? Let's say two people meeting each other, a man and a woman dating and falling in love with each other. And then in marriage, committing themselves to each other as long as they both shall live. And then having children and rearing their own children. And then later grandchildren coming on the scene, bright-eyed, fresh, little grandchildren. And maybe sometimes there's even five generations, great, great grandchildren at the same time. So is there anything any better? I don't want us to conclude by reading a couple of Psalms that indicate, no, at the human level, there's nothing any better. Let's go to Psalm 127. We'll read from Psalm 127 and then Psalm 128 to conclude the sermon. Psalm 127 and verse 3. Behold children, Psalm 127 and verse 3. Children are a heritage from the Lord. Now this passage presumes a marriage, a godly marriage of a man and a woman becoming a new family and having children. Children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is His reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. It's a wonderful thing. Happy is the man who has this quiver full of them. They shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate. The second passage here in the Psalms is the next Psalm, Psalm 128, verse 1. Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in His ways. If we fear God and we keep His laws governing marriage and family carefully and closely, we'll be blessed.

We will be blessed. There will be success. Who walks in God's ways. When you eat the labor of your hands, you shall be happy and it shall be well with you. It then focuses on something very beautiful and wonderful. These two Psalms that we're reading are the most picturesque view of happy, joyful family life in all of the Bible.

The Bible doesn't paint it any more beautifully than this. In verse 3, your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house. It shows the importance of the woman, her role as a homemaker. Your wife shall be a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house. Your children, like olive plants all around your table. There they are, sitting around your table. This is describing a meal, a family meal together, husband and wife and their children. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord. We can say, blessed will the woman be as well. She's there enjoying this family, these family blessings as well with her husband. The Lord bless you out of Zion, and may you see the good of Jerusalem all the days of your life. Yes, may you see your children's children, your grandchildren of the family are brought into it as well. Peace upon Israel. Yes, what a beautiful description then of marriage and family. And yes, it doesn't come any better than this.

Thank you.