Seven Principles on Forgiveness

I thought it was very interesting what happened to me this morning. As we're preparing for the Passover, I thought of a scripture that I hadn't seen it quite in the same light. And I want to share that with you as the introduction to this message has to do with Hebrews 4, verse 16. I'll read it to you. It says, Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Grace is mentioned twice here. And in the first one, it describes where God the Father sits. And it's described as the throne of grace. So that is a very powerful symbol. It describes one of God's chief attributes. It's not a throne of anger or a throne of being insensitive. It's the throne of grace. We have a Father there sitting that cares for us, is compassionate, is faithful. And especially during this Passover season, it's good to understand God in that light. And of course, Jesus Christ is our high priest. So when we pray, we are approaching the throne of grace, which is God's favor and forgiveness.

He is patient, loving. It's quite fitting when we focus on a Passover that has to do with the grace of God. And actually, we heard this choir talk about the cross and, you know, once upon a tree. Unfortunately, Christianity later turned that object of torture into an icon, something that people bow to, wear on their necks. But a much more fitting symbol of Jesus Christ and of God the Father is the throne of grace. That's the way we should look at it. That's where he's at now. He's not hanging on a cross. That's a terrible moment. Yes, it was necessary. But that does not represent what God the Father and Jesus Christ are today.

They both want us to focus on that throne of grace. Much more fitting symbol for Jesus Christ today. So I think it's quite fitting that we consider seven principles about forgiveness at this time. One of the chief problems in the Church of Corinth, which is not really discussed enough, has to do with the lack of forgiveness that was affecting the Church at that time. They had grudges.

They had resentments. They showed selfishness. And this Paul had been told had happened. And so as he prepares the Church for this coming Passover, he didn't want them to be in that frame of mind. Notice in 1 Corinthians 11 starting in verse 17. It says, now in giving these instructions, I do not praise you since you come together, not for the better, but for the worst.

For first of all, when you come together as a church, I hear that there are divisions among you. And in part, I believe it. It was a church that had people offended, resentful, didn't treat other people very well in the church.

It says, verse 19, for there must also be factions among you that those who are approved may be recognized among you. So see that first principle about forgiveness, it's primarily about attitude from the heart, not paying lip service. And this is what Paul was admonishing the Corinthian Church. There was a certain amount of hypocrisy there. It says, verse 20, therefore, when you come together in one place, it is not to eat the Lord's supper, which is the Passover, the New Testament Passover.

For in eating, each one takes his own supper ahead of others, and one is hungry and another is drunk. What, do you not have houses to eat and drink in? Or do you despise the Church of God and shame those who have nothing?

What shall I say to you? Shall I praise you in this? I do not praise you. So they did not have the right attitude. And then he goes on and explains to them about the Passover ceremony.

Verse 23 says, for I receive from the Lord that which I also deliver to you. It's very interesting that he didn't say, well, I looked it up in the Old Testament, and this is what we're going to do. No, he said, I receive this from the Lord. This is an instruction from the risen Christ to the Apostle Paul. That that which I also deliver to you, that the Lord Jesus, on the same night in which he was betrayed, took bread. So we know that was the evening after the 14th had begun. That evening when he took of it. And then later on, of course, he was going to be crucified the next day.

And the Jews were going to have their Passover that later on that evening. But he said, this is what I received from the Lord, which I'm delivering. These are the instructions I'm giving you. So we take the New Testament Passover at the same time, Jesus and his disciples. There's no place in the Bible where you can see there are any other instructions than this. And so later on, let's go to verse 33. Therefore, my brethren, when you come together to eat, wait for one another. But if anyone is hungry, let them eat at home, lest you come together for judgment because of the wrong attitude.

And the rest I will set in order when I come. So he was very concerned about the attitude. There was selfishness, there were grudges, there were resentments. Some people had a lot they didn't want to share with others. And we're embarrassing some that just some of them were slaves who had become Christians. And what did they bring to the table? Very little. And there was a little bit of that classism among them that they would look down and say, yeah, they're members, but after all, we don't have to share our food with them.

They can deal with it on their own. And that wasn't the right attitude. So again, it's primarily about the attitude, about forgiveness is from the heart, not just outwardly. In Matthew 18, verse 35, Jesus said, So my heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you from his heart does not forgive his brother, his trespasses, his offenses, from his heart, which means it is genuinely and sincerely felt. It's not just some automatic routine that you go through, but inside you still have this festering resentment that's not dealing with forgiveness.

That's not the throne of God. He doesn't work that way. And we should be more and more like him. In Luke chapter 23, verse 34, we can see that Christ walked the walk and not only talked the talk. Jesus said when he was about to die, Father, forgive them for they do not know what they do. He did forgive them. He knew they were doing that mostly out of ignorance. Satan was there. It was Satan's world. He was going to be a sacrifice. And so he knew who was the true author of his death.

It wasn't the Jews. It wasn't the Romans. It was Satan. He's the one that had egged it all on. He is the intellectual cause of Jesus Christ's death. In Colossians chapter 3, verse 13, he says again about forgiveness, bearing with one another and forgiving one another. If anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ forgave you, so you must also do. Well, Christ didn't just pay lip service.

He didn't just say, Father, forgive them. I'm really mad at these people. I'd like to kill them all, but I've got to say these nice words. No, he really meant it. So that's the first principle about forgiveness. The second one is to compare forgiveness to what God does every day before that throne of grace. It's a good thing it is because he has to put up with so much every day.

You don't see him not forgiving from the heart. Notice in Matthew 18, verse 21, Matthew 18, verse 21, all the way through 35. Then Peter came to him and said, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me? And I forgive him. Up to seven times? That's what the Jews generally taught the rabbis.

Well, you can put up seven times. After that, you don't have to forgive him anymore. Peter was being pretty liberal, saying, boy, up to seven times. That's awfully hard to do. He was shocked by Jesus Christ's reply. Jesus said to him, if I do not say to you up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. In other words, there's no moment when our heart is just going to be so hardened that we say we will never forgive that person for what they've done.

Therefore, then he gives us parable. Again, comparing what God the Father does, every time we go, we usually have to ask forgiveness or something. How many times has God had to forgive all of us? Or forgive them? Thousands of times. I'm glad he doesn't count all of our sins. And so he compares it this way in verse 23.

Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. Talents, in those days, would be equivalent to ten thousand dollars. So here you're talking about more than a million dollars that the person was indebted.

But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold with his wife and children, and all that he had in that payment be made. So basically they were just going to become slaves of someone else. And all the rest of their lives, all their work had to go to pay for that debt. Thankfully today we have bankruptcy, so people don't have to spend the rest of their lives paying for debts. But in Jesus' day, that's what happened.

Then the servant therefore fell down before him, saying, Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all. Well, the person in charge knew that the sum was so great that there was no possibility. But notice verse 27. Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion. So he said, this fellow is going to end up, right now his life is going to be an absolute disaster. His wife is going to have to basically become a slave, his children. And I have this power to either destroy this life or to forgive him.

And so he released him and forgave him the debt. So the man lost a lot of money over that, but he had compassion. Verse 28, you can imagine that servant was so relieved. Boy, when I get home, I'm not going to get it from my wife and my children. But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. Denarii is usually a day's wage. So you're talking about maybe three months or so of a wage. And he laid hands on him and took him by the throat saying, pay me what you owe.

So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, have patience with me and I will pay you all. Exact words. He told this businessman that had forgiven him. And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. Basically, the person went to prison, but it wasn't just you don't get three warm meals a day and everything. No, this was you had to work. This was very difficult. You became a slave.

So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were grieved and came and told their master all that had been done. Then his master, after he had called them, said to him, you wicked servant. You didn't learn anything about mercy or forgiveness, did you? I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you? And his master was angry and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due him. So my Heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you from his heart does not forgive his brother, his trespasses.

So there are no limits. If we want to follow this way of life, it has to be a life of forgiveness, of extending that forgiveness out as much as possible. Which takes us to the third principle, the principle of overcoming evil with good. In Romans 12, verses 19 through 21, Romans 12, 19 through 21, It says, Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath.

For it is written, vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord. So give place for God to intervene. He knows how to do it better than us. Therefore, if your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him a drink. For in so doing, you will heap coals of fire on his head. He will become so ashamed, be so embarrassed by the right attitude. And then he ends, do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. So sometimes you have to make people feel ashamed of their behavior.

They might not thank you for it. They might never say publicly what you did, how you forgave them, how you had compassion. But in the future, you know for sure God will bless that action. It's also a chance for spiritual growth. Are we going to just let Satan's attitude come out, or are we going to contain it, and we're not going to go that way? Forgiving evil might sound, in theory, very nice. But in practice, it's very hard to do. But it is the right thing to do. And there will all be a chance for spiritual growth.

That takes us to the fourth principle. Humility is so necessary for true forgiveness. And you know, nobody does it 100% perfectly.

This is why the attitude of a child is needed. In Matthew 18, verses 1-6, Matthew 18. You know, I'm surprised here. I could hear a pin drop. I wonder why.

Matthew 18, verse 1. It says, At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, Who then is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?

Then Jesus called a little child to him, said him in the midst, and said, Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.

Therefore, whoever humbles himself, as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven, whoever receives one little child like this in my name receives me.

And so we see here the right attitude goes on to say in verse 6, But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depths of the sea.

And so here in Matthew 18, where he talks about forgiveness, goes right to the attitude. The importance of having humility, to put yourself in the other's shoes, to realize how difficult it is. Sometimes people just don't understand why a person has reacted that way. They haven't seen the background in their lives and how many times they came from a dysfunctional family.

And they're doing the natural thing, and we become victims of that.

It helps us to understand by putting ourselves in that other person's shoes first before judging, before acting, before condemning.

It takes us to the fifth principle.

We need to realize sometimes we are not going to be vindicated or receive satisfaction in this life, only in the kingdom of God.

We're not going to receive satisfaction after being hurt by someone else, by being offended, or taken advantage of.

But you know, justice does not end in this life. It continues on afterwards.

And sometimes we're not going to find that proper vindication and satisfaction that, yes, justice was meted, justice was carried out. Sometimes that's not going to be the case until after the kingdom of God, and the resurrections take place.

We have to understand that. We're doing it for a future life, for a future time.

Sometimes a person can ask forgiveness. Sometimes they won't do it in this life. But guess what? One day they will come before you.

One day all of those people that have robbed us and done harm, the thieves that we never saw, all of those are going to have to come before us.

After being resurrected, and they will have to apologize if they want to be part of the kingdom of God and not go into the lake of fire, they're going to have to humble themselves and ask forgiveness from their hearts for the damage that they have done, the hurt, the abuse that has been caused.

One day things will be straightened out. There will be satisfaction. But we can't expect it in this life.

In James 2, verse 12, we're doing it for our own good. Maybe that other person is not going to benefit at all.

But for us, we are doing it before God. Notice what it says in James 2, verse 12.

So speak and so do as those who will be judged by the law of liberty. God's law is not slavish. It's not negative. It liberates us from sin.

It liberates us from all the negative things we see in this world. That's why another thing that came to mind this morning was the word righteousness.

Actually, it comes from two French words that has to do with right and wise. Righteous. It's a combination of the wisdom of doing the right things. Righteousness is keeping us righted in this world.

Just like a ship. When it starts leaning left or right, it's not good. So you have to keep it. Put it right.

We have to keep our lives righted. And we do it through God's laws, which are the ways that help us to right our ship.

Now, it doesn't do it automatically. But isn't it wonderful? While the world is having maybe Easter Sunday and chasing after little bunnies and Easter eggs and people dressing up.

We've got this Passover season to right us as far as going the right way before God.

And so we have Passover. Boy, talk about riding the ship. Spiritual ship every year. It's so important.

And then afterwards we have seven days where we don't touch any leavening. Just to remember how sin is so easy to fall into bad habits and let sin creep into our lives.

And so we have seven days that help us mentally to realize, boy, there are some things I'm going to stay away from. I'm not going to do that again. I'm not going to let some of that spiritual leavening get it.

So this is the purpose of God's law, but it can't fulfill it unless we are following it from the heart with a spiritual intent.

It's not just not eating leaven or leavened bread. It's this thing of rightening the ship, spiritually doing what's correct.

And so it says here that this is the law of liberty, for judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

I want a lot of mercy in my life, and so I better show mercy. Whether the other person is going to reciprocate or not or ask forgiveness, that's up to them.

I'm not going to be worrying about that. I've done what I want, God, to extend mercy because I have extended mercy to others, and others have extended mercy to me, which I'm very thankful about.

That takes us to the sixth principle, which is to apply Matthew 18 when appropriate.

Matthew 18, of course, is a chapter about forgiveness, which starts out with the right attitude. We have to have a childlike attitude.

And then it goes on to say in Matthew 18, as in the church, when a person has a problem with someone else, we say, apply Matthew 18.

They know what we're talking about. It's this section in Matthew 18.

And by the way, the forgiveness about that person with the talents that they owe, that's in Matthew 18 at the end, which again goes to compare it with God.

How difficult is it for us to forgive? Small things in comparison.

Matthew 18, verse 15, it says, Do it privately. Don't spread what the person did to you, to others. Go to them.

Unless those people involved have something they can add to the issue. Go to the right people.

First, go talk to him. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. And by the way, nobody else had to know.

So you protected your brother's reputation. You didn't besmirch it.

Verse 16, But if he will not hear, he's not going to accept his fault.

Take with you one or two more, that by the mouth of two or three witnesses, every word may be established.

So you might need to bring somebody that you confide in, that it's a friend that knows the two of you, that can be impartial, and bring two people in. So it's not somebody that's just there.

Two usually are more impartial than one person. You have a buddy back you, but maybe with two, that other person is going to be more objective.

And he says, And if he refuses to hear them, if that doesn't work, then tell it to the church, which, of course, has to do with those that are in charge in the church of taking care of the brethren.

Go to the pastor, go to whoever is in charge, and then it's more of a private meeting, but with the pastor present.

But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a ether and a tax collector.

He says, a person with that type of attitude doesn't accept any correction, doesn't have that spirit of humility, he's just hardened himself and gotten stubborn and is doing this offensive thing.

And this, of course, is in a repetitive way. It's not just some minor slip-up.

This is a way of life that this person has been offending.

Well, they shouldn't be in the congregation until they repent.

And then that is, again, a remedial approach and step.

That's not, oh, I don't ever want to see you again. No, it's, hey, wake up.

You want to be in church? You want to enjoy the fellowship?

It's a way of waking the person up, shaking them up a bit.

Sometimes a person doesn't do anything until they get shaken up about it.

That's why the police works great, doesn't it?

Or else we'd be driving, how many, 100 miles an hour?

But boy, you see that patrol? Everybody slows down, everybody's nice.

They don't want to fool with that because there's a big toll to pay.

Nowadays, any ticket is almost like $500. It's ridiculous.

But you see, this is the type of thing you get a ticket for this type of misbehavior or this type of a warning.

And that takes us to the principle, the last principle, which is when not to apply Matthew 18.

Because we always talk about applying Matthew 18, but there are times when it's not appropriate.

That wasn't just an absolute rule.

That's why God gave us brains, gave us wisdom. There are circumstances to apply certain ways.

And so sometimes you realize it is better to give it more time.

Maybe the situation is not so urgent.

It can backfire on you. You go to your brother and it's, hey, you know, you left your bubblegum on the floor and I stepped on it and I got my shoes.

And, you know, I've got to really talk to you about this situation.

No, I don't think so. You can make a mountain out of a molehill sometimes.

So you have to apply wisdom. There are times when it's better to overlook the offense.

God does it all the time with us or we would all be dead.

In Proverbs 19 and verse 11, it says, the discretion of a man makes him slow to anger and his glory is to overlook a transgression.

That's part of the Bible, too. There are times when it's not worth it to have to go before the person and they're going to feel embarrassed. And maybe that person's not mature enough and it's just going to cause a lot of problems.

Notice the Good News Bible says this verse in this way.

If you are sensible, you will control your temper. When someone wrongs you, it is a great virtue to ignore it.

Okay, person blows up. They've got a big problem. But do you blow up? Do you have that?

That's not the way. Or, okay, I can do it. I'm going to blow up, but I'm going to do it privately.

That doesn't work. That's not the idea. That you rail them over the grill.

That's why this serenity prayer is so valuable. It says, God grant me the serenity, the peace, to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference, how to apply it in the different circumstances in life.

So, brethren, these are seven principles about forgiveness that we can think on and meditate for this coming Passover.