When Loving Is Not Easy

The title of my sermon is, When Loving is Not Easy. When Loving is Not Easy. Now, we've listened to the articles read from the news items read today, and if you look at the headlines that we see out there every day, you may agree with me that it seems as time goes by, and I'm sure it's just because it's our time.

It's not like this has never happened before, but it certainly seems to me that our society and people in general are getting much more self-centered, selfish, and more impossible to bear. My challenge is to make sure I'm not one of those, and yours too, I think, right? Yeah. The headlines, of course, are full of reports of all sorts of incredible crimes and how people are mistreating each other in ways that are really new and inventive, and frankly, both legal and illegal, in ways that it should make us as Christians sick.

But even our own lives, we all must endure mistreatment from times and unfairness and rudeness from others, whether it's driving down the road. I had... I don't think I did anything to this guy, but he gave me the nice wave, and I wanted a wave at him back, and I thought, no, I better not.

I don't want to incite anything here. And that's okay. I had a great day. I don't care what people do. That doesn't bother me. But the fact is, sometimes, isn't it really hard to love people? It's really hard to love them sometimes.

But we're gonna look real quick here. Nevertheless, we are obligated by God's commandment, His law, to love all people, and not just those nice folks like me or like you. Let's look at a few scriptures. I'm gonna skip the first one because Mr.

Stewart mentioned it. Well, you mentioned the Mark version. I was going to refer back to Matthew 22, 37 through 40. The second part, the two great commandments. The second part, where we were told you shall love your neighbor as yourself. Okay? But also, I want us to turn to James 2, 8 through 9. And I'm gonna make sure to try to turn these scriptures so I can pace myself and not leave you in the dust. That wouldn't be very kind and loving, would it?

So Matthew 2 verses 8 through 9. Matthew 2 verses... excuse me, I'm wrong. James 2, 8. Sorry about that. James 2, 8. If you really fulfill the royal law according to the scripture, you shall love your neighbor as yourself, and you do well. But if you show partiality, you commit sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors. And then back to 1 John. I want to read from there, too. 1 John, verses 4... excuse me, 1 John chapter 4. I'll get it all together here. I'm just warming up.

1 John 4 verse 20. If someone says, I love God and hates his brother, he is a liar. For he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?

In this commandment we have from him that he who loves God must love his brother also. So it's absolute. Absolutely. God expects us to love all people. Not just our friends, not just those we get along with in our little flocks. We're supposed to love all people. So that includes the more troublesome people. How can we do a better job of loving those seemingly less lovable people in our lives? How can we better practice the same love Jesus Christ exemplified during his last Passover? We remember that, don't we? We're coming up to that season. We remember how Jesus took a basin of water and out down in front of the 12 disciples and washed their dirty feet.

And he even washed the feet of Judas Iscariot who he knew in just a few hours would betray him with a kiss of friendship. Jesus's example should stay at the forefront of our minds when we think about following his steps, reaching out to help and serve others, putting on the mind of Christ. Our Creator humbled himself to become a human being. He was called Immanuel, God with us. He came in part so that he could teach us how to love one another.

And we all went to love others like Christ did and like he still does. But how do we achieve and practice such godly love? Well, I am on a time schedule here, and I can't possibly address all the teachings about godly love found in the Bible. Mr. Stewart tried to help me out there, and he helped a bit, but there's so much more we could say. You see, I can't possibly address every example and lesson found in the Bible, so I won't be turning to Matthew 18 with its guidelines about humbly going to our brother or sister to resolve differences.

Now, I won't be focusing on 1 Corinthians 13, the love chapter. And neither will I dwell on the tough love of 1 Corinthians 5. That's godly love that requires putting out those willfully unrepentant, putting them out of the church to bring about true repentance for their benefit. Now, all these are vital aspects of God's love, and we must study these and dwell on them, learn from them, learn to discern and practice godly love for all in order that we may have more of God's mind in us.

But my purpose today is to remind us of several foundational and vital principles for loving our neighbor, and to love our neighbor God's way. We need to understand and then practice living these basic principles of God's love. Why? Well, so we can think and act more like Jesus Christ. And when we do that, we will be much more successful in loving our neighbors as ourselves. We will be better able to love those also who right now seem so very hard to love.

So let's begin. Let's first talk about what tends to happen when things don't go well in our relationships with people. Perhaps it's with a friend, oftentimes it can be a relative, maybe parent to child. My experience, roommates or former roommates don't always get along so well. You really have trouble and you don't get along with your boss, right? Oh yeah. But whenever a conflict starts to brew with whomever or whoever it may be, it might not take long before emotions begin to seethe and boil up a bit.

When they're so totally rude to us and dishonest, downright mean, or when others lie and twist all the facts, spread wrong bad rumors about us. And we hurt badly, don't we? And we start to relive, perhaps, all those hurts we've suffered from that person. Yet while our attention is focused on that person, that neighbor who's done us wrong, we may be neglecting the person who is at the center of a far more dangerous conflict at the core in our hearts.

That conflict is a struggle in us between our sinful carnal nature and God's nature, our Father's gift of His Holy Spirit that is in us. Left unchecked and free to grow, anger in our hearts will develop into a deep-seated and bitter hate that can jeopardize our very salvation. If you turn with me to Romans 7 and Romans 7, the Apostle Paul identifies for us something that we understand but don't have the eloquence to put into the words as he did.

In Romans 7, verse 18 through 20, Paul identifies this internal struggle that we often engage in and that we know very well, I'm sure. Paul knew it well, too. In Romans 7, verse 18, Paul writes, for I know that in me, that is, in my flesh nothing good dwells. For to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do I do not do, but the evil I will not to do, that I practice.

Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. You know, every time I read this passage, I'm still somewhat amazed at how he so well expresses that struggle we feel within ourselves.

And he captures very well, I think, that struggle of any Christian, if anyone's trying to go on to perfection, that struggle against our old selves, our old carnal selves, doing what we know and we've read and we believe is right or convicted of right, but we just seem to fail on it. Now if you hold your place there for a moment, I want to turn back to Isaiah. Isaiah 55.

The prophet Isaiah, inspired by God, also describes this vast contrast and distance, we might say, between the carnal mind and the mind of God. What we might call between our self-centered ways and God's way of love. In Isaiah 55 verses 8 through 9, familiar but very important words here, For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my way, says the Eternal. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. And couple this page forward a little bit to Jeremiah 17. Jeremiah 17 verse 9. A very powerful scripture. I remember the first time I read this in Ambassador College years ago. I never heard of this. I never heard of this. Boy, I know it now. Jeremiah 17.9 is where I'm at.

Jeremiah 17.9. Here, Jeremiah describes the human heart and the hateful nature of our carnal selves with even greater directness. Here, Jeremiah writes, The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked. Who can know it?

Understanding our carnal nature helps to explain why we so often find ourselves frustrated, you see.

Especially frustrated when we're trying to submit to God's laws and practice His perfect way of love in everything that we do and everything we think and say. That sinful, self-centered, incarnal mind absolutely hates, hates the ways of God. Now back to Romans 7, 21. I hope you kept your finger there. I didn't. Romans 7, again. And we're going to pick it up in verse 21.

Romans 7, 21, continuing, Paul writes, So when others stir up that hateful ire of our sinful nature, at those times we especially need to cling to that better part of us that's in us, and of course that's God. When we feel the pressure gauge of our anger starting to crank up and turn up, that's when our minds need to rule our emotions and definitely turn to God in prayer, quick prayer. That's the time to calm ourselves and ask God to help us. You see, if we don't control our anger, over time it will harden into bitter hate. So we must not allow that hate towards neighbor to dwell in our hearts. It's interesting we talk about hate dwelling in our hearts, but we can't let that stay there, can we? Somebody else wants to dwell in our heart. God wants to dwell in our heart. He wants our heart for His dwelling place. If you turn to John 14, John 14, John 14, verse 23, Jesus said, If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him, and we will make our home with him. We will make our home with him. He who does not love me does not keep my words, and the word which you hear is not mine, but the Father's who sent me.

So hate and all its baggage of wrath and jealousy and bitterness and all the other stuff that hate likes to cling to, we need to toss all that stuff out of our hearts. Toss it out on the street, so to speak, because our Father is jealous for us. He wants our entire heart as home for Himself and His Son. How do we know if hate has taken up residence in our hearts? I mean, really, no.

We've been told by Scripture that our hearts can really deceive us, as Dr. Baker, in his excellent sermon last week, reminded us. Deceit is so easily done and crafted. You don't even know you're being deceived. Our hearts are like that. Our hearts lie to us as well. So since our hearts can deceive us into believing that we don't hate anyone, how can we really be sure we're not deceiving ourselves? Yeah, what is really in our hearts? How do we know?

Well, to see the spiritual condition of our hearts as they truly are, we must commit ourselves to humble and prayerful soul-searching. We must draw closer to God as we examine our hearts for any feelings or thoughts that we bear against our neighbor. We must study God's Word sincerely and compare our emotions and motivations with the instructions for righteous living we find in the Scriptures. In Psalmist, let's go back to Psalm 119. In Psalm 119, there's some profound directions and guidelines we can turn to in the Scripture to help us with this. We're really talking about examining our hearts. In Psalm 119 verse 9, he gives this direction. Psalm 119 verse 9 through 10. How can a young man cleanse his way? Well, by taking heed according to your Word. With all my whole heart I have sought you. Well, let me not wander, wander from your commandments. And then if we drop down to verse 15, we will read, I will meditate on your precepts and contemplate your ways. I will delight myself in your statutes. I will not forget your Word. And then Lamentations also presents a Scripture for us. Lamentations 3 verse 40.

Some more sound advice for humbling and examining our hearts. Lamentations 3, 40. Let us search out and examine our ways and turn back to the Eternal. Let us lift up our hearts and our hands to God in heaven. Reference that we must be on our hands and knees mentally, beseeching God for his help and showing us what is really in us. In the book of James, the book of James gives profound direction, most excellent instruction. James chapter 1 verse 19. What he's really talking about here is using God's Word as a type of spiritual mirror to help us see what we really are. I'm going to be reading this selection from a different translation than the New King James I have been using. I'm going to be reading James 1 verses 19 through 25 from the New Living Translation. Sometimes different translators will use the original Greek and Hebrew words in a different way, and it kind of sheds more light than perhaps the translations we're used to using. So this is what James writes chapter 1 verse 19. This is the New Living Translation. Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters. You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.

So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls. But don't just listen to God's word.

You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves, deceiving ourselves.

For if you listen to the word and don't obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror.

You see yourself walk away and forget what you look like. But if you will look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don't forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.

I really like the way that translation works. All these scriptures we've just looked at are consistent in their instruction for examining our hearts. We must use God's word, then, and not our own deceitful feelings and thoughts as our guide in life. And more than that, when it comes to discerning the spiritual condition of our hearts and our lives, God will help us discern whether hate towards neighbor is hiding in our heart. I'd like for you to turn with me to 1 Corinthians 13. Now, I'm going there. I'm not going to focus on it, but I'm going to 1 Corinthians 13.

I'd like for us to do something a little bit different there.

Sometimes it's difficult to define what abstract terms are.

Concrete terms are things your senses can see.

Abstract terms are a little harder.

Abstract terms can be like love.

Or obsession. I remember years ago, you couldn't buy a bottle of obsession, but now you can. It's a type of perfume.

Typically, abstract terms we cannot reach out and touch. So they can be more difficult for us or our children to understand what that means.

Sometimes, when it's difficult to describe an abstract term, such as love, writers will use the term's opposite meaning to help clarify its actual meaning. Paul uses this technique in 1 Corinthians 13, 4-5.

This is where he starts defining what love is.

But I want us to see how he does it.

He's using a technique here to define the word agape, love.

That's what we often would call godly love or benevolent love. We read 1 Corinthians 13, 4-5. Let's just read how he gives it. Do you notice how Paul tells us what godly love does by telling us what godly love does not do?

He's using opposites a little bit to help clarify an abstract term.

For example, love is not impatient because it suffers long or endures the hurts or wrongs of others. Love is kind because it does not lash out when others cause harm.

Now, I can go on through the whole list, but I'm not going to do that because I want to do something else here. We can use the same technique Paul uses to help us define what hate means.

Hate is another abstract term. If we evaluate ourselves, maybe quick to say, well, I know what hate means and I don't hate anybody. I don't hate anybody. Not possible. Don't hate anybody. Well, that's the heart talking. Are we sure it's correct?

Now, what we're going to do here is not rewriting Scripture by any means, but when we replace the word love in these Scriptures with its opposite, hate, you following me? And then switch the negation of the phrasing, I think we can come up with a little more clear and compelling, powerful definition for hate. So, let's read 1 Corinthians 13, 4-5 and let's discover a more clear definition for hate.

So, now this is what I came up with. Hate does not suffer long. It flashes out when it's angry.

Hate does not suffer long and is not kind. Hate does envy. Hate does parade itself. Is puffed up.

Does behave rudely. Does seek its own. Is provoked. Thinks evil. Does rejoice in iniquity.

But rejoices not in the truth.

Does this definition of hate sound like anything even remotely related to what we might be bearing in our hearts? Now, if we do discover hate for our neighbor nestled somewhere deep in the crooks and crannies in our hearts, then we must repent and seek God's help in removing it from our hearts.

We do that with prayer and Bible study, probably lots of fasting and meditation, but absolutely we have to take some sort of action, some appropriate action, to help us obey God. We can resist hate in any of those other old carnal ways in us, but we have to understand what we're looking for. We have to use God's word to identify it, and then we have to use God's help to pluck it out, to cast it out. Now, ultimately, we must learn, and I've used this, and I won't lie to you, I've used some of these lines in another message, but these are powerful lines, I think. What it comes down to is that we must learn to hate any hate we bear in our hearts for other people. We must not hate the person, right? That person, we remember, will not keep us from entering God's kingdom, but it is the anger, it is the bitterness, and it is the hate we bear in our hearts that will keep us out of the kingdom. That means we will not achieve and receive salvation. Well, we are all human, aren't we? And people will and do make us angry.

Yet it is not okay to let anger control us.

But our carnal nature, don't we know how it likes to do with anger?

Our carnal nature just wants to cuddle up with hurt, nurse it a little bit, swaddle it, and stay angry at people until it festers into hate.

Now, oddly enough, some people might even quote Scripture to justify their anger.

If we go back to Psalm 4.4, let's go back to Psalm 4 verse 4.

And I'm getting there with you. Okay, my fingers don't like to work real well.

Psalm 4.4. Some people might want to quote Psalm 4.4 as a means to justify their anger.

Psalm 4.4 says, Be angry and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed and be still.

Now, some people might interpret these words as permission or even as a command to be angry.

But that interpretation doesn't fit with what we read from James just a little bit ago, does it?

We need to be sure that we are reading and understanding Scripture accurately to keep us from making a very terrible mistake. Different translations, as I've mentioned, can sometimes better capture meaning, perhaps more accurately and more in keeping with other Scriptures here a little.

For example, let me read to you Psalm 4.4 again, but this time, again, I'm going to be using the New Living Translation. Here's what it says in this translation. Don't sin by letting anger control you.

Think about it overnight and remain silent. Totally different meaning. Well, maybe not totally, but a great difference in meaning. Don't sin by letting anger control you as opposed to be angry and don't sin. The second translation, I think, better conveys the Hebrew meaning, meaning we mustn't let anger rule over us. And also, it lets us know that we can control our angry emotions by thinking it over, sleeping on it, as we might say, from time to time, and definitely by learning to hold our tongue. People will make us angry, but Scripture directs us to control our emotions and not allow anger to grow into that fought-numbing hatred that we can develop. Our deceitful hearts will justify reasons and excuses for hating our neighbor, but as we started out with, God's law doesn't allow for it. We're not allowed to hate people.

Paul makes this point very clear in Galatians 5, verses 14-18. And it reads like this, For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this, you shall love your neighbor as yourself. But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another.

This is an accurate description of all the hate, all the emotional anger and vehemence that comes with our emotions sometimes when we're angry. And then let's look on down to next verse, verse 16.

Paul says, I say then, walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.

For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh, and these are contrary to one another. That's what he was saying before in Romans. That happens so you do not do the things that you wish, but if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. And so again, it's that reference to the struggle. The old man, or old carnel nature, that old self struggling against God's Holy Spirit. It's the old man, remember, that we've got to keep forced under the watery grave of baptism. And Paul exhorts us not to allow our sinful old self to reign over our hearts.

We look down in verse 19, continuing on. Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelies, and the like. See, there's more. He just has to draw a close. He's running out of words. He needs to move on. There's more than this he does not list. All of which I tell you beforehand, just as I told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Did you notice just how many of the works of flesh directly relate to anger and to hate? And if we allow the works of flesh to control our hearts, we will not receive salvation. We will not inherit the kingdom of God.

But if we have been baptized, we're working in the process of conversion. We're not baptized yet, but we've heard the word. It's been preached to us. We believe it. We're growing in conviction. We're moving that way. We got help. God helps us. For growing in God's way, continuing to grow in God's way, we will produce the fruits of obedience to God. And those fruits are right down here in verse 22 and 23. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

Don't those words sound so soothing? Unlike the angry words we are reading, the works of the flesh.

And he writes, And against such there is no law, And those who are Christ have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

It reminds me of what Mr. Stewart was talking about in his sermon.

We must choose not to live with anger and hate in our hearts. We have chosen a life of repentance to sin. We have chosen to think and live like Jesus did, with love towards God and love towards neighbor. If we find anger, bitterness, or hate trying to settle down into our heart and mind, Scripture reveals and tells us clearly we must repent and seek God's help in filling our heart and our mind with the fruit of God's Spirit instead. So far, we have considered the underlying cause of our inability to get along with our neighbor. But now let's consider how God expects us to live according to his way of love.

How do we allow God's fruit of the Spirit to grow in our lives and to grow through our interactions with one another? Replacing anger and hate with godly love is the greater challenge we face when we don't get along with other people. But thankfully, God's Word provides a valuable principle to removing those sinful works of the flesh from our lives, from our hearts. It means we have to yield to God's Spirit in us. We have to practice his way of love.

By giving. By giving of ourselves. When we choose to practice godly love and give a kind word or deed to those who aggravate us, we resist pleasing our vengeful carnal nature. Instead, when we give, we strengthen God's loving nature in our hearts and minds, giving that is purely motivated by godly love does benefit our neighbor. But it's absolutely necessary for us to do.

If even our act of love and giving to others is rejected, and sometimes it is, if you ever tried to help an old lady cross the street—no offense, I said old lady, sorry—if you ever tried to help somebody cross the street or open a door and get whacked, I have. What? You don't think I'd open my own door? Sorry, my mom raised me that way, right? I'm being good. Well, if your good act is slapped back in your face, it's okay. Because you know what you did? You did the right thing. You yielded to your good godly nature within you. By doing something good, that is good for you. They don't want it. It's okay. Not okay for them, but you're doing the right thing. Now, for a biblical example of someone who gave love instead of giving it to hate, I can't go much better of an example than Jesus Christ. We need to remember, I think, Peter's words. 1 Peter 2. Peter really had a succinct way of reminding us everything Jesus did for us.

And when we start feeling that the world's not liking us so much, we need to remember how it didn't like Jesus either. 1 Peter 2, 21. I find Peter's words here very, very stirring. 1 Peter, excuse me, 1 Peter 2, 21. I think I'm saying the right things. 1 Peter 2, 21. For to this you were called because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example that you should follow His steps, who committed no sin, nor was deceit found in His mouth, who when He was reviled, did not revile in return. And when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously. Now let's also turn to Ephesians 5, 1 through 2. Ephesians 5, 1 through 2.

Therefore be followers. Some translations will say imitators, which is a little more clear to me.

Therefore be imitators of God as dear children, and walk in love as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for His sweet-smelling aroma.

And so we need to remember when we feel life is treating us unfairly, people are picking on us, that our Creator became a human being and set the example of how to love our fellow human beings.

So we must be striving to remove any wrong feelings we might bear for one another.

We must strive to restrain our own selfish nature and yield to God's Spirit in us instead.

In short, we must love those whom our old carnal self, well, would much rather hate.

But now that we've understood some of these principles we've got to love, even though we may be hated, we still have to love. There's a part of us that wants to hate, but we must resist that. I'd like for us to think about some specific things we can do.

Or some specific instructions.

We need some specific how-tos. We've learned some concepts, but how do we go about practicing it?

And the Bible is not short of lessons in that regard, either.

Let's consider some specific instructions on how to practice Godly love, how to give of ourselves, especially to those troublesome neighbors of ours. The first point is, do not harm your neighbor. Do not harm your neighbor.

If we go to Romans 13, Romans 13, and we're going to expound upon this as some other scriptures, but in Romans 13, verses 8-10, Paul wrote, Oh, no one anything except to love one another. For he who loves another has fulfilled the law.

For the commandments you shall not commit adultery, you shall not murder, you shall not steal, you shall not bear false witness, you shall not covet. And if there is any other commandment, all are summed up in this saying, namely, you shall love your neighbor as yourself.

Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore, love is the fulfillment of the law.

Paul's words remind us rather clearly here that love towards neighbor is not based on our feelings, it's not based on our emotions, but love for neighbor is based on obedience to God's commandments. We don't get to define what loving our neighbor means. God does.

Paul also emphasizes that godly love does no harm to anyone.

That means we must never willfully and intentionally hurt another person.

That's hard to resist if someone's just hurt you.

Although we want to retaliate against anybody that hurts us, God requires that we obey his law of love and do no harm.

In Philippians 2 verses 14 through 16, Paul reiterates this point in Philippians 2 verses 14 through 16.

When we don't strike back and we don't intentionally harm, Paul says we're shining as lights in this world because that's not the way the world treats us, is it?

That is not the way the world will treat us, but we can't treat them the same way.

And in Psalm 37.8, I'll take us back there. Psalm 37.8.

Psalm 37.8. Just in case we think this is a new principle, it's not. Don't cause harm. If you read Psalm 37.8, here we read, cease from anger, forsake wrath, do not fret.

Why? It only causes harm. And not just harm to ourselves, more than likely harm to others. So we must resist striking back at anyone. We mustn't let anger and hate cause us to harm anyone, no matter who that person is. That also means we should never harm anyone by intentionally withholding kind words or actions if it's within our power to give.

Being kind to those who are unkind to us may seem quite impossible at times.

It is. It seems impossible at times. But we should remember again, as I stressed before, that our kindness is not just for our neighbor's well-being. Our kindness is also for our well-being.

Because not loving our neighbor harms us by putting our salvation at risk.

We're holding something back. We must not harm our neighbor. We must always strive to do good to our neighbor and to help.

A second thing, second instruction we can do and should do, and that's pray for our neighbor.

Especially those, well, that maybe at times are hard to pray for. Luke 6. Let's look at Luke 6, 27. Pray for your neighbor. Luke 6, 27-28.

But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. Wow! Why would God require us to pray for those who are cruel and spiteful to us?

Couldn't we get along with just not harming them? Could we just be nice? Do we actually have to pray for them, too? So why pray for them? Well, I thought about it. Maybe you have to. I'm sure you have. When you think about all the good things we could possibly do for our neighbors, why would we willfully, willfully withhold the very best thing we could do for our neighbor, for our enemy? If we are truly trying to imitate Jesus, and we know what he put up with from his enemies, for truly trying to imitate Jesus, why would we refuse to pray to our Father, the ultimate power of the universe, for the benefit of our fellow human beings and potential members of God's family, his kingdom?

1 Corinthians 10.24 1 Corinthians 10.24 1 Corinthians 10.24 reads, Let no one seek his own but each other's well-being. We're not just here to seek our own well-being. That's selfish. We're supposed to be involved in helping everybody else.

Well, if we're supposed to be seeking one another's well-being, what could be better for our enemies than our humble and sincere prayer for them? Who better to help them in the ways they really need help than God and our Father? And the result of our gift of prayer for our enemies?

Well, it might even be miraculous. Whatever we ask will be done according to God's will.

And that's true. And if you remember James 5.16, we don't have to turn there, because I think you know it. James 5.16 says, The effective and fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. What might a righteous man or woman do for his or her enemy through prayer? Paul also exhorts us in 1 Thessalonians 5.15.

We'll turn there. 1 Thessalonians 5.13 1 Thessalonians 5.15 See that no one renders evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all.

Praying for our enemies is not returning evil for evil. It is our plea to God for what is best for them and for us.

And that is God's will in our lives. If God can be involved in our enemies' lives, we're doing our enemy a benefit. And maybe a little while down the road, we're doing ourselves a great benefit, too. Praying for our enemies will benefit us as well. That's part of the way of giving. When we give, it comes back.

Perhaps, and this is possible, it's happened to me, perhaps as we pray for our enemies, we'll actually discover while we're praying for them, we might discover a few faults of our own that are aggravating the situation.

Have you ever had that happen? Don't answer that. I'm not looking at you.

It's happened to me. I hope that guy gets this right and does this. And here, maybe I'm the one stirring the coals up a little bit.

In any case, I earn his hands and knees' gift of prayer for our enemies.

Certainly, we go a long way in helping us to control our anger and our hate and our wrong thoughts and our wrong emotions. Our prayer should draw us closer to God, after all. And isn't that the best place to be when people are really vexing us and making our lives miserable? Honestly, though, our spiteful enemies for whom we pray, they may never give us one kind act or thought in return.

They may never stop hating us and abusing us. They may never stop spreading bad things about us.

But that gift of prayer, although it may not have much effect on them right now, it will have incredible, huge beneficial effect for us and our hearts. You see, that prayer is helping to root out the wrong attitudes and anger and hate from our heart.

It's helping to keep that old self locked up and under the water, under the watery grave of baptism.

And that's a rather miraculous thing about prayer, I think. And the third point—destruction, basic things, practical things we can do—well, things we must do from what Scripture is telling us. We must give good things to our neighbor.

Give good things to our neighbor. To truly love our neighbor, especially those less than kind ones, we must treat them with gifts of love. In Romans 12, for example—let's turn there—Romans 12.

Romans 12, 19-21.

We read, Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath.

For it is written, vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord. Therefore, if your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him a drink. For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.

In verse 21, do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Now, these scriptures stress that we must reject any thoughts and actions of vengeance. Retaliation, as we have already noted earlier, strengthens that carnal old self in us.

And that allows the carnal old self more control over our hearts instead of God.

When we choose to give only good things to our enemy as God commands, then we are choosing to trust God to deal with him or her in his perfect justice.

Only God's vengeance, not ours, will result in a just and beneficial outcome for all.

But what does this metaphor in verse 20 mean? In verse 20, Romans 12-20, it reads, "...heap coals of fire on his head." Well, in this particular scripture, Paul is quoting here from Proverbs 25, 21-22. It is a direct quote from Proverbs. In this metaphor, heap coals of fire on his head can mean—this is what I typically find out there when I look it up—it can mean that one's kind reaction will so shame our enemy that our enemy will suffer a beneficial guilt trip and repent. I like the way that sounds.

I see some of you smiling, right? It doesn't always work that way. Have you noticed?

I'm nice to you. You keep keeping more abuse on me. It doesn't seem to always work. Where's the coal? Where's the shame? Where's the guilt trip? They don't feel guilt.

Well, I found something else that kind of makes sense, though. In Adam Clark and his commentary in the Bible, he offers a different take on this metaphor. He finds in this metaphor of the hot coals an analogy to the smelting process. That process is a separating of metal from raw rock or ore. In this process, raw ore is placed amid the hot coals of a fiery furnace, and the hot coals then melt and separate the pure metal from the worthless rock.

That's a metaphor that's used a number of times in Scripture. It's an analogy. So similarly, the enemy who finds himself amid the hot coals of God's righteous vengeance will experience God's perfect justice and become, one hopes, a better or a more pure person.

I like how that sounds. You see, God's vengeance is better than our own because only God's vengeance results in a just outcome and not an evil outcome, not a selfish outcome that might happen if we tried that.

And then verse 21 supports this Adam Clark's meaning, I think. Verse 21 says, do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. In other words, we must allow God's just and perfect vengeance, which is good, to defeat the wrongs we experience from others.

When we seek our own type of vengeance, wrath and hate win more control over our hearts.

And you can almost be assured that worse results are going to happen.

In that case, we'd be wise to take seriously—and I'm not going to make you turn there because we're going to be right back here in Romans—but if you'd write down James 1, 19-20, instead of letting anger get us and retaliating and striking back, we need to remember what James warns us about. He writes, So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath, for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. We may even think we're right in retaliating, but it won't work. Not what Scripture says.

So if we would practice Godly love towards our neighbor instead of angry vengeance, then we allow God's love and His righteousness to reign supreme in our hearts.

And we pray over the hearts of our enemies as well as God deals with them.

But we're not quite done with Romans 12.

We need to consider the other aspects of the Scripture, verses 20-21.

Instead of vengeance, Paul reminds us, If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him a drink.

And again, we are told not to do harm. We must do good by these sort of good gifts.

We must do good this way to that enemy who so infuriates us.

Even to the point of giving him some of our hard-earned money and food and drink, food off our table, food from our children, to give to him and his need.

Why do that? Why give food and drink to our enemy?

Again, it keeps going back the same thing. It goes back to the importance of controlling what occurs in our hearts.

It's also about practicing God's way of love and imitating Jesus Christ. God blessed us with food and drink when we were still his enemies, for we even knew who he was.

So should we follow his example and give good things to those who are now our enemies.

When we humble ourselves and intentionally give good things to those whom we probably much rather hate, we allow God's love to reign over us.

Am I making the theme clear? I didn't create it. It just keeps popping out of Scripture.

We also lessen that person's ability to stir up hate's bitter poison in our heart.

You see, the bottom line is we don't give good things to our enemies to make them like us.

We give good things to help us like them better and to learn how to love others with the love of God.

So these three broad instructions teach us how to love all of our neighbors as we love ourselves. We do them no harm, we pray for them, and we give to them in their need no vengeance allowed.

And when we study the Bible, we will find that Jesus always kept these principles.

Even with those who hated him.

Jesus, we remember, came as a bond servant. That's a somewhat nice way of saying a slave.

He humbly served and gave his life for us when we were his enemies. His is the example we must thoughtfully imitate, we must choose to imitate, because that's not what our human nature wants to do. Now, loving our enemies is not easy. People can really get down and dirty in how they treat us sometimes. I know. It's happened to you, it's happened to me. Sometimes the problems we face in relating with other people are very, very painful. And conflict can seem like it's just never ending, and it can be so unjust and unfair. What's the first thing we learn as kids? That's not fair. And what was a comeback our parents always taught us? Life is not fair, but we wanted fair. Well, this isn't God's world. It ain't going to be fair. Yes, I use Dan on purpose. Sometimes we just have to bear the real suffering under the hands of other people.

But whatever conflicts with others occur, even among brethren, God absolutely requires that we love and not hate our neighbor. But thankfully, through any conflicts we face with people, and especially in those trials born for obeying God's law and striving to keep his way of life, we can find great comfort and encouragement in God's Word. Yes, the last set of scriptures are going to have you turn to you. 1 Peter 3, 8 through 17. I want us to read this because I know I've been talking about things that are distressing to us. I apologize if I've stirred up a sore spot. We don't like to remember things that aren't going well in our lives, but at the same time, I think we've got to kind of picket the sore if we're going to start about healing it.

But the wonderful thing about God's Word is it's so incredibly encouraging at times, isn't it?

And I'd like for us to turn to 1 Peter 3, 8, because at those times when our relationships with people are really troubling and messed up and aren't working for us and we can't seem to get out of it, I like to turn to this set of scriptures and read them and think about them. So let's read 1 Peter 3, 8 through 17. Peter writes, finally, all of you be of one mind having compassion for one another. Love us, brothers. Be tender-hearted. Be courteous. Not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing. For he who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit. Let him turn away from evil and do good. Let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Eternal are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the face of the Eternal is against those who do evil.

And who is he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good? Oh, I know they hurt us. Remember that old lie we were taught? Sticks and stones may break our bones. Yeah, even the young kids know how that one ends. And I hope you've understood by now that that is a lie.

Words tear and hurt at a very sense of self.

But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you are blessed.

And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled. But sanctify. That means to set apart. We can choose to sanctify the Lord God in your hearts.

We need to make room for him. Now, let's see, what would be a good way to make more space for God in our hearts? Oh, yeah, let's get rid of the hate. Let's throw it out and fill in some of those empty spaces with the fruits of the Spirit. Sanctify the Lord God in your hearts and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks your reason for the hope that is in you with meekness and fear. Having a good conscience that when they defame you as evil doers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed.

For it is better, if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.

For Christ also suffered once for sins, that just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive by the Spirit. Now, those words should sink deep into our hearts and to our minds and really help us get those those rough times we have with people, whether people we work with or a guy on the road waving that strange way at me.

We need to think about those words and let those words encourage us, because our God loves us, our Father loves us much, he knows what we're dealing with, but he knows all that's going to make us better. We just keep our eyes set on eternity and the kingdom and salvation. So, brethren, I'm going to start wrapping this up now. Brethren, God requires us to think and act contrary to our carnal and sinful nature. God requires that we obey his law of love and that we humbly yield our will to his will and that we strive always to be more like him. We've got to keep trying, no matter how hard it is. We've got to keep trying to be like him. So, when people seem bound and determined to infuriate us, to make our lives absolutely miserable and bitter, God requires that we love them and not hate them. Lashing back with wrath and hatred, vengeance in our lips, that gladly pleases that old, old self in our hearts, but it spiritually endangers our opportunity for salvation.

We who follow Jesus Christ, we who would imitate Jesus Christ, must strive to love our neighbors despite what they do to us. Our loving Father expects us, his children, who are becoming more and more like him to use his wisdom and to give kindness and prayers and good things to all, even our enemies. Sincere and humble acts of godly love are powerful antidotes to hate any hate in our hearts. And so, brethren, I'd encourage all of us, because this sermon is certainly for me too, I'd encourage all of us to continue to strengthen ourselves in the Word of God. And let's all strive harder to be always humble, and wise and obedient to God, and to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.