There's only one perfect true love for you, and you'll magically know it when you find him or her: It's not that simple or that hard. God doesn't say that there is only one possibility for you out there, but He does answer prayers. He wants us to prepare ourselves, learn about others, seek wise counsel and make the best possible choice of a husband or wife. Then He wants us to commit to making it work. No two people are perfectly compatible. Marriage is a learning process for two best friends to enjoy and work through together.

You can fall into or out of love: You can't "fall into" the kind of committed, godly love required for a lasting marriage. One writer said you have to "climb up" to the kind of agape love described in 1 Corinthians 13. It involves the Spirit of God that comes through baptism and a conscious choice to keep loving even when the feelings of romantic love may be hidden by the trials of life or the actions of your mate.

We do "fall into" romantic love though. "Once the experience of falling in love has run its natural course (remember, the average in-love experience lasts two years), we will return to the world of reality and begin to assert ourselves. He will express his desires, but his desires will be different from hers.

"They fall out of love, and at that point either they will withdraw, separate, divorce or set off in search of a new in-love experience, or they begin the hard work of learning to love each other without the euphoria of the in-love obsession" (Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, 1995, pp. 32-33).

You've got to spend more than $25,000 to get married: Planning and budgeting for a wedding could be the first big test for a couple and the in-laws! If it's important to your parents and you—and if you won't have to go into debt to do it (or have little to eat in a one-room apartment for several years)—then you can easily spend the $27,000 to $28,000 that the average American couple spends on a wedding. (That's up 73 percent in the last 15 years.)

But you don't have to. If you all feel that a lot of that money would be better spent on education or the down payment on a house, there are lots of choices for beautiful, memorable but less expensive weddings. Don't get so caught up in planning the perfect wedding that you forget to plan for your future life together!

You've got to be realistic and plan for divorce in case it happens: How can you have a 100 percent commitment to making a marriage work if you already have an escape plan? VT