The Administration of Godly Authority in Marriage

Well, tomorrow is Father's Day. Today we're going to be talking about the administration of godly authority in marriage, and to a large degree that is put upon the shoulders of the fathers.

Much of the knowledge that the Bible gives us on leadership and the administration of authority is through example. We have the examples of God the Father, Jesus Christ, and also human leaders placed in authority, Moses, David, Solomon. There are many examples of good leaders and also examples of not so good leaders and not so good fathers. If you were going to rate David as success in being a father, you would be hard-pressed to do so, because David had many, many failures as a father.

God's exercise of authority is always motivated by love. The human record reveals the following cycles of the exercise of authority. Here's basically the cycle of authority goes, tyranny, revolution, anarchy, and all shades in between. For example, at the present time in Iran, you have a dictatorship or tyranny, a religious dictatorship, and then if people rise up and enough a revolution, you overthrow the dictator and you temporarily have anarchy, and then generally the government that comes on the heels of dictatorship is far more lenient, liberal, sometimes democratic, sometimes republican form of government. And then the cycle generally repeats. In the United States, we have been under... People talk about the United States being a democracy. Actually, the Constitution was framed that we would be a republic, a republican form of government, which means that you will elect officials to go to the central house of government and represent you there. We have seen in our nation us go from a republic to now a democracy, which is to some degree has led toward liberalism and anarchy, but now we are in a revolution where really no shots are being fired, and we're going more toward tyranny and dictatorship and loss of many of our freedoms.

Satan's way is that of a tyrant. If you'll notice now in Isaiah chapter 14, Satan is the one who is the author of human government. Satan is the god of this world, as it says in 2 Corinthians chapter 4 and verse 4. In Isaiah 14, we have the record of Satan's rebellion, but let's notice some verses leading up to that. The king of Babylon is a type of Satan the devil. In Isaiah 14.4, you shall take up this proverb against the king of Babylon and say, How hath the oppressor ceased? Of course, the king of Babylon is also symbolic of the beast power that is to come, and the beast power will be empowered, influenced, and to a large degree, possessed by Satan the devil. How hath the oppressor ceased? The golden city ceased. And if you look up that word, golden, it will say the exactress of gold, the one who has taken the gold away from the people and hoarded it unto himself. And of course, this ties in with James 5, where it talks about before the coming of the day of the Lord, in which the people, the cries of the laborers, are going to go up and reach the ears of the Lord of Sabooth. And those cries are one of the reasons why God intervenes and sends Jesus Christ back to this earth. The Lord hath broken the staff of the wicked and the scepter of the rulers. He who smote the people in wrath with a continual stroke, he that ruled the nations in anger, is persecuted and non-hinders. And when that happens, when he is persecuted, when he is broken, the whole earth is at rest and is quiet, they break forth into singing and rejoice. Yes, the fir trees rejoice at you and the cedars of Lebanon, saying, Since you are laid down, no one has come up against us. So Satan's way is the way of wrath, the way of anger, the way of tyranny, the way of oppression. Today, I want us to examine the administration of authority in the family. Let's turn now to 1 Corinthians 11 and verse 1, and see God's governmental structure for the family. Very clearly, once again, we were here last week as well. In 1 Corinthians 11 and verse 3, But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God.

So we see here the government of God, the structure for the family. It is hierarchical. God the Father over Christ, Christ over the husband, the husband over the wife, the parents over the children. Then Paul has a treatise here, a few passages on how that woman shows her submission by her hair, and that's not our purpose today. We'll be talking about submission next week.

So this is God's order for the family. In other words, God gives his authority to the husband. The husband is to be God's representative to his wife and to his children. As long as a husband administers God's given authority, God given authority, we see it right here. This authority is given by God. It is not given by man. And as long as man exercises this authority, as God has instructed him to do so, then it is his divine authority. It's the authority that comes from God. It's been vested in the husband. But as soon as a man departs from God's way of administration of authority, it's no longer God's authority. It's his own authority that is seeking to administer. And we want to make sure that we are administering as God has instructed. The authority of Christ, and therefore the authority of a husband and father, is not a human authority. It is not one person lording it over others. If a husband finds his authority always being challenged, or very often being challenged in the family structure, he should examine himself to determine if his administration of authority is causing the rebellion. Keep in mind there is no justification for rebellion, for we serve God and not man. And in submitting to God's ordained authority, we serve God. Now let's turn to a scripture that reflects that, but then we have a caveat with regard to that. Let's go to 1 Peter 2.13. 1 Peter 2.13.

In 1 Peter 2 and verse 13.

1 Peter 2 verse 13, submit yourselves every ordinance of man, for the Lord's sake, whether it be to the King as supreme, or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him, for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well. For so is the will of God, that with well-doing you may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men, as free and not using your liberty for a cloak of maliciousness, but as the servants of God. Honor all men, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the King. Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the forward, or the froward. Now, this next verse, and the next two or three verses, is the only place in the Bible that really tells you how to grow in grace, and you would not, just reading the King James, ever figure this out, just from reading it from the King James.

The instructions here, of course, are to be under subjection, to be under authority, but there is, as I said, a caveat to it, which we'll explain in just a moment.

And it says not to just those who really treat you well.

In verse 19, for this is, and the King James translators translate that as think worthy. Guess what the Greek word is? Now, someone wrote in their survey of enough of the Greek. It's all Greek to me, or something like that. But if you don't know what the original word is, and the proper translation of it, you may never really know the meaning of any number of scriptures, because what we're reading are translations from various texts. And generally, we have, as far as the New Testament, we believe that the Byzantine texts are the most accurate. That word in the Greek is charis, which is grace, free unmerited pardon. For this is grace, free unmerited pardon, divine favor. For this is divine favor, if a man, for a conscience sake toward God and doer grief, suffering wrongfully. Now, we have preached so much in the church over the years, submission, that we have had a lot of wives who have lived in what you would call an unbearable kind of situation. And to a large degree, it's because of explanation of scriptures like these, of being subject and to suffer wrongfully and all that. But when it comes to those who have entered into the covenant of sacrifice with Christ, you can't obey one scripture and disobey another.

For example, Matthew 1815 is in effect with everyone who is especially in the body of Christ. If your neighbor offends you, a neighbor means nigh, the one who has nighs you, offends you, and in a marriage situation, who is nearest or nighs you? It is your wife or your husband. If your neighbor offends you, you go be reconciled to your neighbor. If he won't hear you, take a friend. If he won't hear you, bring it to the... then if he won't hear, bring it to the church. Now, very often in marriage situations, it's oftentimes a wife who will seek help, but the way she seeks it oftentimes is to go tell her best friend, and she tells the best friend not to tell anyone. Then the best friend tells her best friend and tells her not to tell anyone, and pretty soon everybody knows that they are having marital problems, whoever they are. That's not the godly way to handle it. But many times women have remained in almost unbearable situations because they think that, well, it says this, to submit here, then on the other hand, you have those scriptures that talk about if your brother offends you and surely your husband or your wife is your brother, your sister in Christ.

Verse 20, for what glory is it when you are buffeted for your faults you shall take it patiently, but if you when you do well and suffer for it take it patiently. This is... guess what the Greek word is? Charis, once again. This is grace. This is divine favor with God. So one of the ways to grow in favor with God is when you are persecuted wrongfully, that you bear up under it, and that is the context for the scripture that we so often quote verses 21 and 22, for even hereunto were you called, because Christ also suffered for us, and he suffered wrongfully.

When you take it patiently, but if you do well and suffer for it, you take it patiently. This is acceptable for God, for even hereunto where you call, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example that we should follow in his steps, who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth, who when he was revile, reviled not again. When he suffered, he threatened not, but committed himself to him that judges righteously, and then who bear our sins.

But you cannot take one scripture and play it against another. Yes, we are to be submissive, but at the same time, we are to obey the scriptures that have to do with reconciliation. The researchers say there are three main problems in marriage, communication, sex, and finances. But I believe 21st century man, 21st century woman, 21st century marriages have a greater problem, and that is understanding how to administer authority and how to respond to authority, or in other words, submission. And as I said earlier, most of our teaching and preaching has been on submission. However, it is far more important to understand the administration of authority. We cannot be a part of the world's cycles with authority hang-ups, doing your own thing.

We cannot be dictators. We cannot participate in tyranny, revolution, and anarchy. God did not ordain any of these, but God did ordain that husbands should provide leadership and administer godly authority in the marriage relationship. God has called us to peace, not to fear, to be a part of His government now. And are we going to administer righteous government? There are two essential aspects, as I've already said, of authority in addition to the instruction in the book.

Of course, we have in a sense the Bible as our constitution, our instruction book. But once again, the administration of authority and the response to authority. What is godly authority based on, and what is it founded on? And what is the foundational basis for the administration of godly authority? Well, the foundation is love. In fact, we're here because God is love. In 1 Peter 4, 11, if any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God. In other words, if any man speak, let him speak according to the instruction book, according to what God has outlined with regard to the administration of authority.

And today we're especially talking about marriage. If any man minister, and we're going to look closely at that word, let him do so as of the ability which God gives. God gives the authority, as we've already said, from 1 Corinthians 11, verse 3, that the man is head, or the husband is the head of the woman, the head of the family.

That God in all things, why? That God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion forever and ever. Now that word minister, that word minister in the Greek is diak on eo. It's the word from which we get deacon. It means to be a servant, attendant, to wait upon, to minister to one, to wait on a table, offer food and drink to guests, to minister, supply food and necessities of life, to relieve ones of necessities, to take care of the poor, to serve as deacons, to minister, to attend to anything that may serve another's interests.

This is the same word, if you would now turn to Matthew 20, verse 20, this is the same word that Christ uses here in Matthew 20, verse 20, in succeeding verses about the form of government that he expects in his family. In Matthew 20, in verse 20, Matthew 20, verse 20, He then came to him, the mother of Zebedee's children, with her sons, worshiping him, desiring a certain thing of him. He said unto her, What will you or what do you want?

And she said unto him, Grant you that my two sons may sit the one on your right hand, the other on the left, in your kingdom. But Jesus answered and said, You don't know what you're asking for. Are you able to drink of the cup that I shall drink of? Be baptized the baptism that I'm baptized with. They said unto him, We're able. Of course, he meant that I'm going to be crucified.

Are you able to drink of that same cup? Eventually Peter was crucified upside down, as God had told him that he would be in the last chapter of John. And he said unto them, You shall indeed drink of my cup, be baptized with the baptism that I'm baptized with.

But to sit on my right hand, to sit on my left, is not mine to give. But it shall be given to them for whom it is prepared of my Father. And when the ten heard it, they were moved with indignation against the two brethren. But Jesus called unto them and said, You know that the princes of the Gentiles, the nations, the ethnos, exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them. But it shall not be so among you. Whosoever will be great among you, let him be your diach on El. Let him be your minister. Let him be your servant.

Let him be your minister. Now, one of the definitions of minister in the older publications is one who runs through the dust for others. Let him minister. Let him run through the dust for others. And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant.

Even as the Son of Man came not to be ministered unto but to the ach on El, to run through the dust for others, to be a servant, to minister to one's needs, but to minister and to give his life a ransom for many. Now, service is a great thing, and ministering to the needs of others is a great thing. It's necessary. It's needful. But there are other dimensions that need to be considered when you're talking about a father and about leadership.

So service in and of itself, however wonderful it may be, is not all there is to it.

Leadership can be demonstrated by service to others, and Christians are admonished to become living sacrifices. Christians are exhorted to be willing to live with a perpetual attitude of running through the dust for others. But you can serve till you're blue in the face, but service in and of itself does not articulate the hopes, goals, and dreams of people, so as to move them to achieve their purpose for being. There has to be more than that. Now most people can't even do the physical of running through the dust for others, but service in and of itself does not provide visionary leadership and develop strategies and plans for achieving one's hopes, goals, and dreams. How are you going to help your children become members of the body of Christ? How are you going to help your wife? How are you going to help your family become members of the body of Christ? How are you going to provide that visionary, that spiritual leadership? Now obviously people do learn through example, and as I said, service is a component of that, but future-oriented leadership requires much more. You have to have a plan, and I talked about developing a plan back the first part of this year. Virtually all the great movements in history were created through someone coming on the scene and articulating a vision and strategies for achieving the desired outcomes.

We have seen some negative and positive examples of leadership in our time, especially in the 20th century. We saw visionary and courageous leadership in World War II by both Roosevelt and Churchill in spite of what they did at Yalta, in which they gave away Eastern Europe to the Soviets against the advice of Patton and many others. We've seen visionary leadership with regard to Dr. Martin Luther King and what he did in the Civil Rights Movement. We have seen a lot of good examples. We've seen a lot of bad examples, Hitler, Mussolini being bad examples, Idi Amin, and there have been other tyrants that you could name. But movements, whatever they may be, positive or negative, generally come from leadership.

The great leaders throughout history have been able to articulate the grievances or condition of a people and simultaneously create a dream, a vision, a hope, and develop strategies that will allow them to fulfill their hopes, goals, and dreams. For example, the Martin Luther King speech that he gave there in Washington, I have a dream speech. There have been many other great speeches, but the greatest visionary who ever lived in the flesh, Jesus Christ articulated the vision of the kingdom of God. And one of the greatest summaries of that vision is a sermon on the Mount called the Beatitudes. In the Beatitudes, you have the goal and the strategy all in one sentence. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed you have right here the goal and the reward all in one statement, just in a few words.

The foundational basis for the administration of authority is love. And what kind of love is it? To some degree, it is filia, what we call brotherly love. But primarily, it is agape, it is spiritual love. Even God bases his punishment. Notice Hebrews 12. And one of the reasons why we have such chaos and confusion, so many killings and so many robberies and so much lawlessness in this nation today is because we have an undisciplined people. They have not been disciplined when they were children. They do not know how to behave. Many of them don't know right from wrong. They haven't been taught.

And when you don't discipline, you don't love. So even God's discipline is in love. In Hebrews 12. Verse 5. And you have forgotten the exhortations which speak unto you as unto children. My son despises not you the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when you are rebuked of him. For whom the Lord loves. So even when God administers his authority in the sense of chastening, it is out of love. For whom the Lord loves, he chastens and scourges every son whom he receives. If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons. For what son is he whom the Father chastens not? But if you be without chastisement, wherewith all are partakers, then are you illegitimate and not sons? You're not loved. So God even administers chastisement in love.

How is love measured?

How do we know how much we love someone? It is by our willingness to give ourselves as living sacrifices. So our premier scripture here is John 3 16. For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever should believe in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. Then you have the scripture in John 15. I think it's verse 13, which says, that greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. Now let's turn quickly to Romans 12 1.

So you can love someone so much that you were willing to die in their stead as Christ died in our stead. But really what God wants of us is not a dead sacrifice. He wants us to become living sacrifices. And to become a living sacrifice requires giving up self. And one of the main reasons why marriages fail is because people are not willing, one mate or the other, both, are not willing to give up themselves. In Romans 12 1, I beseech you, therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, not a dead one, wholly acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

And be not conformed to this world, but be you transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable perfect will of God. And that's the kind of love that God has for us that we should have for our mates.

That kind of sacrifice is a sweet-smelling savor to God. Christ gave Himself for it, and He gave His life for His body, the Church, His future bride, and so must we lay down our lives. So what are the steps to perfection in the administration of authority? Number one, a man must examine himself and his attitude toward authority. Only those who live under authority are fit to wield authority, and only those who are under authority can truly understand faith. That is, God will deliver. As in the case of Abraham, in Hebrews 11, verse 8, when he was asked to sacrifice Isaac, Abraham, obediently communicated with Isaac, let's go and do sacrifice. Yes, Abraham didn't question. He went. So the point here that we're making is that one has to be under authority to qualify to wield authority.

In Hebrews 11, verse 8, by faith Abraham, when he was called to go out and displace, which he should have to receive for an inheritance, he left Ur of the Chaldees, which was across the river, the Euphrates, and he journeyed to what we call the Promised Land now. The land of Israel obeyed, and he went out, not knowing where he went. By faith he sojourned in a strange country, dwelling in tabernacles with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise. Through faith he looked for a city which has foundations whose builder and maker is God. Verse 11, through faith, also Sarah herself received strength to conceive seed and was delivered of a child when she was past age because she judged him faithful, who had promised. So both Abraham and Sarah were willing to be under authority, the authority of God. Now further in verse 17, by faith Abraham, when he was tried, offered up Isaac, and he that had received the promises offered up his only begotten son, of whom it was said that in Isaac shall your seed be called. So we see that to be qualified to wield authority, you need to be under authority. So a man with a rebellious household needs to look first of all with his relationship with God, his source of authority. Let's go now to 1 Peter. 1 Peter chapter 5. 1 Peter chapter 5 and verse 5.

1 Peter 5 5 Likewise, you younger submit yourselves under the elder. Yes, all of you be subject one to another. Be clothed with humility. Clothing goes all over. Be clothed with humility, for God resists the proud, gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves therefore in the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time. Casting all your care upon him, for he cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary, the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about seeking whom he may devour. So a man has to humble himself under the mighty hand of God, so that in due time he will be exalted. That is, that his authority will be established. A man must develop the same attitude and approach as Christ in order for his authority to be established. Remember what Christ did? He humbled himself, and he took on the form of a man and gave up his position as the word, the logos, the one who became Christ. This authority, this authority that comes from God, won't be authority that you have to strive for, but it is authority given from God because the man has died to himself. He gives up self, he humbles himself.

He doesn't have to continually lecture you on his office. Do you know who I am? I am the head of the house. What if someone continually lectured you on their office, like on the job? Do you know who I am? I'm your boss. We must make sure that the foundational basis for exercising authority is self-sacrificing love, laying down our lives for our mates. True leaders must be meek in the sense that Moses was meek. Go now to Numbers 12. Do you know how Moses was meek and why the statement was made about him that he was called the meekest man on the earth? Numbers 12 in verse 1. Moses was a mediator of the Old Covenant. Moses had absolute authority of life and death over the Israelites, but instead of capriciously exercising that authority when difficulties arose and which situations came up and which God said he was going to punish Israel, Moses was a mediator and also an intercessor for the people. And Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman he had married. Verse 2, and they said, "'Hath the Lord indeed spoken only by Moses? Hath he not spoken also by us?' And the Lord heard it." Now, parenthetically, now the man Moses was very meek above all the men which were upon the face of the earth. What a statement! The meekest man on the face of the earth! How so?

Go to Exodus chapter 3 now. Exodus chapter 3, and we will see one of the main reasons, I would say the main reasons, why God said this of Moses. Now, you remember that when Moses was 40 years old, that it came into his mind that he should lead his people out of Israel. And one day he went out and he saw an Egyptian beating one of his fellow countrymen. So he killed the Egyptian, buried him in the sand, realized that someone had seen this, and he fled for his life. And now he had been in the land of Midian 40 years, herding sheep. Now, in that 40 years, Moses had become the meekest man on earth. And so when God calls to him out of the burning bush, notice Exodus 3, 7, and the Lord said, I have surely seen the affliction of my people which were in Egypt, and have heard their cry, or by reason of their taskmasters, for I know their sorrows. And I am come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians, and bring them out of the land to a good land.

Verse 9, Now therefore, behold, the cry of the children of Israel is coming to me, and I have seen the oppression wherewith the Egyptians oppress them.

Come now therefore, and I will send you unto Pharaoh, that you may bring forth my people, the children of Israel out of Egypt. And Moses said unto God, Who am I? This is how Moses was the meekest man on the face of the earth. Who am I that I should go unto Pharaoh, and that I should bring forth the children of Israel out of Egypt? And then God reassures him, and so on. Moses still protested to the point that God was pretty upset with Moses. But oftentimes, the attitude is, she doesn't know how lucky she is to have me. Doesn't she know who I am? How great I am!

Instead of singing that song to how great thou art, how great I am.

So a man must not think more highly of himself than he ought, but to esteem others better than himself. And Moses had learned this after 40 years in the wilderness. And time after time, the golden calf, Aaron and Miriam, when the spies brought back an evil report in Korah's rebellion, he went to God and he interceded for the people. Now, in every case, God, in some cases, God changed his mind, especially with the spies. He allowed them to live, but none of them went into the Promised Land who were complaining and murmuring against Moses. In fact, only Caleb and Joshua went in, and those who were under 20. 20 and under.

Moses only said one time, in essence, don't you know who I am? And that was at the rock where he says, must I strike this rock, you rebellious people? And he smote it. Water came out, but because of that, he didn't go into the Promised Land. So if a husband finds his children and his wife under his authority, bucking his authority, being rebellious, his first recourse has to be to God.

In Ernest's prayer, he should ask God to establish his authority in the family. He should ask God, what makes me unfit to administer this authority? Why am I having these problems? The tendency of most husbands is not to go before God as an intercessor for his family, but to lecture his wife on her duty to be submissive. Oh, if you would just be submissive, then everything would be all right. A husband who feels compelled to continually lecture his wife on her duty to be submissive to his authority has already yielded up his claim, his foundational basis for authority. So how does this work in practice? We'll note the example of Solomon in 1 Chronicles chapter 10 verse 12. It has to do with some deep understandings which might, as we say, go against the grain.

I said it's 2 Chronicles. I know I said first. 2 Chronicles chapter 1. 2 Chronicles chapter 1. David is dead. Solomon has been named king. Solomon was a young man.

1 Chronicles chapter 1 verse 9. Now, O Lord God, let your promise unto David my father be established. For you have made me king over a people like the dust of the earth in multitude. Give me now wisdom and knowledge that I may go out and come in before this people, for who can judge this people, your people, that is so great. So the understanding is that you have been honored to be able to administer this authority. And Solomon says here, who am I that I can be the one who would lead these people so great? Who am I that I should be a husband to my wife and have the opportunity to lead her in my family? So when an argument flares up in marriage, it is the husband's place first to humble himself and ask forgiveness for whatever the wrong was. For example, in Ephesians chapter 4, this is one of the main things I would say of all things that my wife and I have practiced through the years. Don't let the sun go down on your wrath. Don't give one another the silent treatment. That is the worst thing you can do, because it will cause a person to go over things and over things in their minds and build up a root of bitterness. The last thing you want to do is be responsible for building up a root of bitterness. In Ephesians chapter 4 and verse 24, that you put on the new man which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness, wherefore putting away lying speak every man truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. How are we members one of another? By the Holy Spirit. We are all joined together by one Spirit. Are we all baptized into one body? We are members of one another. Be you angry and sin not. Let not the sun go down upon your wrath. Why? Neither give place to the devil, because if you do, your mind will become the devil's workshop. And you'll go over and over the things that have just transpired, and you won't find rest. You won't find peace.

And verse 28, let him that stole see a little more, but rather let him labor working with his hands the things which is good that he may have to give to him that needs. Now verse 31, let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice, and be you kind one to another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you. Of course, it says of Matthew that unless you're willing to forgive your brother, your neighbor, and your mate is the closest one to you, then God won't forgive you. Be you therefore followers of God as dear children, and walk in love as Christ also has loved us. He has given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God of a sweet-smelling safer. He goes on to list several other behaviors that need to be put away.

So once again, when an argument flares up, it's a husband's place to lead in the reconciliation process. Now this can be death to the ego. This can be death to the self, but you have to humble yourself. It may be that the wife's guilt is greater than yours. That's not the question. The question is, who has responsibility for leading the family? The husband's call is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. While we were yet sinners, Romans 5, 6, through 10, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. So you don't play the standoff game. If she'll do this, I'll do that. Christ, God the Father, didn't play the standoff. If they'll repent, then I'll send Christ. No, he said Christ, and while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. So we have to be peacemakers. We have to go before God in true repentance. We cannot use any excuse to justify ourselves.

Now, the wife may take advantage of the husband's repentance, but if she does, that's her mistake. That's her, the thing she'll have to answer for. And on the other hand, the husband can't say, well, I confess my faults, then you confess yours. No, a husband cannot truly repent and have ulterior motives if we are crucified with Christ. You know, when Christ told the apostles in John 13, we read this before the foot washing ceremony, says, when Christ realized that all things had been placed under him, all authority had been given to him in heaven and in earth, what was his next act? He stooped down and began to wipe the disciples' feet and wash their feet. And he said, if you do what I've done unto you, happy are you. In Colossians 3, 19 forward just a page or two here, the apostle Paul mentions those several things here that we need to be aware of. In Colossians 3, in verse 19, husbands love your wives and be not bitter against them.

Don't be harsh. This word can also be translated harsh. Don't be bitter. This Greek word pakra'ino means to produce a bitter taste in the stomach, to embitter, to be angry, to be indignant, to be irritated, to visit with bitterness, to grieve dearly with bitterness. Husbands love your wives and be not bitter against them. Children obey your parents and all things, for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath or anger lest they be discouraged. And we see a lot of fathers who provoke their children when there's no reason to provoke them. The worst thing you can do is call your children names and provoke them to anger when there's really no cause to do so. So a husband has to be careful to watch his manner in the expression of the little things. He can't be careless where he ought to show tenderness and respect. And some men will behave with great respect toward every stranger and come to church. Great respect to all the brethren, but at home he's quite a different person. You would never know that this is the same person who walked through the church doors today, who had a smile on his face and smoked everybody, and then he goes home. It's like Dr. Jacqueline Mr. Hyde. It's like split personality. It's like schizophrenia.

Somebody else. It would be better to injure any other person in the world than this one whom God has given him charge over to nourish her, to cherish her as Christ loved the church.

It is our duty as husbands to gladden the heart of our wives daily. I'm sure that I fall short, and many of us fall short, but we can make a new beginning. Tomorrow is Father's Day. Tomorrow is a day that represents the time that we honor fathers for the role they play. But sadly speaking, to a large degree, the fathers of the land have abdicated their leadership positions, and sadly we have scriptures like Isaiah 3.12, as for my people, children are their oppressors and women rule over them. Why? Because to a large degree, the fathers have abdicated their positions, their God-ordained position of leadership, and by default, the woman, the wife, has to do it. You know, the first duty of fathers should be spiritual nourishment.

I know that we have the duty as fathers, as head of the house, to put bread on the table, as they say. But the Bible says, seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these other things will be added to you. So it is axiomatic. In other words, as a result of our action of seeking the kingdom of God first, God will provide our needs according to his riches. He will provide our needs, and he owns all things. You know, above all things, we as husbands, you and I, we that are in the role of husbands, should desire that our wife be in the kingdom of God. We should desire that our children be in the kingdom of God. The Apostle Paul, writing in Romans 9, verses 1-3, says, I could wish myself a curse from Christ that my kinsmen, according to the flesh, might be saved. I mean, Paul said, I'm willing to give up salvation that my kinsmen be saved. Are we willing to give up ourselves so that our wives and our children might be saved? You know, when divorce occurs, and so too often in this society in which we live, who pays eventually the greatest price? Is it the husband or the wife? I submit to you, it is the children. You know, if two people are obeying God and they are understanding their role, their God-ordained role in the family as they should, then divorce is not going to be an alternative. The husband should take the lead in the family. He should feed his family spiritually, not just physically. He needs to take the lead in Bible study and prayer and obedience and repentance in every aspect of spiritual life. He needs to teach his family who we are. We are, we sing the song, you know, we are the people of God. If we are the people of God, let's show it by the way we live. So, brethren, especially fathers and husbands, we need to consider our wives as a treasure, given to us by a bountiful God. Love her, honor her, recognize her talents, appreciate her efforts, be considerate of her feelings. Express your love for her every day. Life will become more rewarding for both of you in this way. So are we willing to lay down our lives, to humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God, so that He can exalt us and do season. See, in our calling, we have been called to eventually rule over nations. And it all begins in the family, right here, right now. Let's begin today. Husbands must never surrender the reins of leadership. The opportunity to be God's representative to the family is precious. It's sacred. It is of God. You have an opportunity to exercise God's authority God's way and realize it's God's authority, not yours. You must lay down your life in true Agape spiritual love. You must be under the authority of Christ. You must be meek. You must respect your subjects, your wife, and your children. You must not deal harshly. You must not provoke under wrath. You must provide spiritual and physical nourishment. And you must never, never abdicate and give up the duty that God has so graciously assigned to you to be a husband and to be a father. I hope you have a happy Father's Day.