Administration of Authority in Marriage

The title of the sermon today is the Administration of Authority in Marriage. Harrison Berger placed kicker for the Kansas City Chiefs through considerable criticism. After a 20-minute commencement address, he gave to the graduates of Benedictine College, a conservative Catholic school who invited him there. The school is about 50 miles north of Kansas City. He packed his speech full of conservative political discourse, railing against degenerative cultural values and media. He rebuked President Biden for his stance as a Catholic who supports abortion rights and urged women to go to careers so they could support their husbands.

And he went on to say, I can tell you my beautiful wife, Isabella, would be the first to say that her life truly started when she began to live her vocation as a wife and a mother. Of course, this is in keeping with what the Bible says with regard to mothers and the great responsibility that they have, the kings of Israel, and identifying them, it always says, and his mother's name was such and such. It doesn't say who the father's name is, it says who the mother's name is, and she has such an impact on the child's life and the first few years of his life. Of course, we have come to that state in the United States and basically the Western world, and it's rapidly spreading all over the world. What Isaiah said when he said in Isaiah 3.16, as for my people, children are their oppressors and women rule over them. I don't think there's ever been a more true fulfillment of that scripture in the history of humankind than there is today.

In his speech, he encouraged men to be unapologetically masculine, and he referenced these deadly sins of homosexuality, criticized Catholic priests for deriving their happiness from the adulation they received from their parishioners. In attempting to drive home his point, Mr. Burker's lyrics, he invoked lyrics from Taylor Swift's song, Bejeweled, without mentioning her or her boyfriend, Kelsey, who was tied in for the Kansas City Chief's name. He went on and on with regard to what really needs to be said. It took a tremendous amount of courage to do that, and then, of course, he received tremendous backlash from the liberal press, and even some stations refused, and some news sources refused to even acknowledge that the speech had been given. The NFL's response was to issue a statement from Jonathan Bean, the league's chief diversity and inclusion officer, in which he said that Mr. Burker's views are not those of the NFL as an organization. The NFL is steadfast in our commitment to inclusion, which only makes our league stronger. One commentator said that 41 of the players on the Kansas City roster have been arrested at one time, and that is about what the average should have, I would say, for most of the NFL teams. So many offenders, some even murderers, are in that group of people. So here's an about person, unlike the president who says he's about Catholic, telling it the way it is, giving the Bible story, in essence, without making any apologies. It got me to thinking about the kind of leadership we should have in the Church of God. Are we actually doing what Isaiah 58.1 says? Lift up your voice like a trumpet, show my people their transgressions, and Jacob his sins. We're in that period of time in which if people do not stand up and stand in the gap, all is lost. I doubt that we can gain back much of what we have lost already. We're living in a very difficult time. I have said from time to time, I believe that the greatest hang-up with men, especially, is obedience to authority. And I would say probably women are a close second. We've grown up in the land of the free, in the home of the brave. We're told that we can do anything as long as it doesn't hurt someone else. Now, what is the weakness of that statement? You can do anything you want to as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. Well, can you blow cigarette smoke in somebody else's face? Can you advocate that women should have abortions? Can you do this, that, or the other? See, you're making a judgment for other people by doing what you say you want to do. So, time after time, from the story of Cain and Abel in the Bible, all the way through the Bible, it says, you are indeed your brother's keeper.

Much of the activity during the 20th century has been anarchistic. Now, anarchistic means, again, centralized government. Yet, there is a paradox at work. The 20th century also has seen some of the most brutal dictators in the history of mankind. We think of Lenin, Stalin, Mussolini, Hitler, Mao Zedong, Castro, Idi Amin, and more recently, some put the President of Russia, Putin, into that category as well. And now we're in a culture war that is much worse than the dictators of the past, because the people who even prophesied it would happen in the Church have given themselves over to doctrines of devils and trampled the Word of God under their feet. Yes, there are people in the Church who will even, if you'll turn now to 1 Timothy chapter 4 and verse 1, will see this.

Now, the Spirit speaks expressly that in the latter times, some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits and doctrines of devils.

Speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their conscience seared with a hot iron, forbidding to marry, commanding to abstain from meats which God has created, be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth. You have to know the truth. Clean and unclean meats are very important to God, as we brought out recently in a Bible study in Isaiah 66, condemning those who eat pork.

So, the dictators that I mentioned are not the only ones that are having difficulty or had difficulty in administering authority. There are many corporate executives, labor leaders, straw bosses, ministers and others on down the authority chain who have difficulty in administering authority. We have had difficulties in the Church of God. We have been observing young parents both in and out of the Church with their children. I've noticed that they are alternately permissive and it's sometimes very harsh and tyrannical with their children. It seems that there's really no pattern to the sudden shift in the administration of their authority over their children. Inconsistency breeds anxiety and rebellion. Leaders in this nation and the Western world, and for that matter, the whole world, have created anxiety in adults, rebellion in children, because neither group knows what to expect next. Where will the next shoe drop? You can be sitting at a table at a restaurant and be hugging and kissing their children, or they can be. Then a few minutes later, the kid gets out of line and they holler at him in a very harsh and cruel way, usually telling him how stupid he is or some other mindless comment. I've witnessed it many times. It's usually some kind of threat-shouting without any real teaching. The parents administer authority according to their feelings at the moment. Husbands and wives in the Church of God have difficulty with authority and submission. It's a major problem, and most of our preaching and teaching have been on submission. The wife needs to be submissive, but what about the administration of authority by the men? We need consistency in administering authority and leading our family, and God has placed the husband over the wife. At times, the husband is loving his wife as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for it, and at times, he is lording his authority over her. Their actions are dictated by their feelings. At times, the wife is very submissive. At other times, she is not. Feelings are of the flesh and deceptive. Do we really understand Jeremiah 17.9? Can we quote Jeremiah 17.9? The heart is deceptive above all things and desperately wicked. Who can know it? Now, that's the heart of the flesh. The heart of the flesh. So, if you just go by your feelings and not by what the Word of God says, you're going to fall short time after time.

So, not only does 20th Century man have a problem with submitting to authority, but 20th Century man has a problem with administering authority. We are commanded in Scripture to bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ and not to give place to vain imaginations.

Because if you give place to vain imaginations, you can start thinking about your mate in a certain way that is negative and it leads to a disastrous result. The thinking needs to be positive. Problems need to be faced, but the thinking needs to be positive.

So, in society, there's a vicious cycle with regard to revolution, anarchy, and tyranny. Tyranny is a precursor of revolution.

Revolution is a precursor of anarchy, and anarchy is a precursor of tyranny. And so, the cycle goes on. At the present time, the U.S. teeters on the brink of revolution and tyranny. We definitely see a revolution of type taking place. Will it lead to tyranny? Well, time after time, we hear that the Justice Department has been politicized, and we hear this, and we hear that about politicians and their efforts to do whatever it is that they try to do.

Are we going to follow in their footsteps? Are we going to bend to the progressives and to the liberals of the day? At the present time, the U.S. teeters, as I said, on the brink of revolution and tyranny. So, the question of the age-old one, which came first? The chicken or the egg? Which came first? Tyranny, revolution, or anarchy? In one sense, for a Christian, the question is really moot. In other words, it's not worth discussing, since God did not ordain either one. He did not ordain rebellion, revolution. He did not ordain tyranny. He did not ordain anarchy.

God set up a structured system, both in the family and in the church. And we need to really understand what that's about. God did ordain authority and rulership. He instructed man on how to administer authority and relationships. And God's hierarchical structure and rulership is given in 1 Corinthians 11, verse 1. We'll start there if you'd please turn to 1 Corinthians 11 and verse 1.

In 1 Corinthians 11 and verse 1, be followers of me, even as I also am of Christ. Paul could say that because he was willing to give his life, and he almost did, and finally did give his life for what he believed. Now, I praise you, brethren, that you remember me in all things, and keep the ordinances as I deliver them to you.

But I would have you to know that the head of the woman is the man. So he gives it in reverse order in this case. And the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God. Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covers, dishonors his head. Now, for some reason, I didn't choose this, but God chose hair as a symbol of one who's under authority. You can summarize it very easily by saying the Bible says that a woman should not have her hair too short, and a man should not have his hair too long.

I didn't write that. Paul did. Now, we can argue that until, you know, the cows come home, as they say, but that's what it says, and we'll see here. Every man praying or prophesying having his head covers dishonors his head. Who is his head? His head is Christ. He dishonors Christ, not his physical head. His boss, his Savior, the one that's over him. But every woman that prays or prophesies where their head uncovers dishonors her head.

Who is her head? It's the husband. The husband is her head, for that is even all one as she were shaven. She might as well shave her head. She's going to do that. For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn. But if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.

The man indeed ought not to cover his head, for as much as he is in the image and glory of God, but the woman in the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman, but the woman is of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman, but the woman for the man.

And for this cause the woman to have power on her head because of the angels. In other words, the angels, women, are protected by angels if they properly obey what God has said with regard to their respect and obedience and submission to their husband. That's once again what the Bible says. It's not my words, it's what it says here. Nevertheless, neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man in the Lord.

For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also of the woman, but all things of God. Judging yourselves is it calmly that a woman pray unto God uncovered. Doth not even nature itself teach you that a man having long hair is a shame unto him. I didn't write it! Paul wrote it. You can believe it or not believe it, but that's what it says.

So a man is placed in authority and rulership in his administration, and if his administration falls outside of the examples that God has given and he becomes tyrannical, the Bible makes no provision for revolution and anarchy. We're always bound to be subject to the higher powers except when they conflict with the law of God. Now there was a time in the church back when I first started speaking and attending Ambassador College in the late 60s in which nearly everything was directed toward the woman and was like she was afraid to go to the minister and say, my husband is abusing me, but the Bible says that we are to face our problems and we are to go to the person that abuses us or causes offense against us. And so that slowly has changed over the years, and now it's gone to the opposite side, where if anyone goes to the minister about a problem, it's the woman and the man says back, oh, I'm above all of this. I don't need to go. I can handle this job all by myself.

So we're always bound to be subject to the higher powers except when they conflict with the law of God. However, if a husband finds his authority always being challenged in the family structure, he should examine himself to determine if his administration of authority is causing the rebellion. Keeping in mind there's no justification for rebellion. It says in Samuel, I believe it is, that rebellion is as a sin of witchcraft. It is a terrible thing in God's eyes to rebel. Keep in mind there's no justification for rebellion. We're to serve God, not man, and submitting to God's ordained authority, we serve God. Look at 1 Peter 2.13. 1 Peter 2.13.

The scriptures we shall cover today leaves no doubt, and I'm amazed. On the way up here I listen to religious radio on Saturday morning to see what the evangelicals are saying, and it is unbelievable what they're saying. They come so close to the truth, but yet are so far away from really understanding what the Bible actually says. In 2 Peter 2.13. Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake, whether it be to the King as supreme or unto governors as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and for the praise of them that do well. For so is the will of God that with well-doing you may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men as free and not using your liberty for a cloak of maliciousness but as the servants of God. This morning I looked out the window and there was a guy in the next door neighbor was walking in our front yard, and of course he's obsessed with his yard. I mean, it doesn't have a weed in it, it's perfectly manicured, the flowers are great, and they've gotten yard of the month and all that stuff. And so I went out and I said, what's going on? He said, well, I would like to borrow your mower and mow your yard today and poison these weeds. And I said, well, this is the Sabbath and we keep a Saturday. He said, Sunday is the day. And I said, no, I've studied this for over 60 years and I can assure you that Saturday is the right day. He said, I've just got through reading Matthew and it's a very interesting book. Of course, he curses some along the way, but a very nice person. So once again, he said, just one time I want to mow your yard. I said, no, not today. We don't do outside work today. So I think we parted on good terms, but it just gives him and then he began to tell all the encounters he'd had with neighbors concerning sandbirds and crabgrass and all of that.

Once a man or a woman departs from God's instructions on how to administer authority, he or she then becomes subject to the natural laws of tyranny, revolution, and the cycle repeats with all the shades and degrees in between. Satan's way is that of a tyrant. He rules as a tyrant. Let's go to Isaiah 14. We see that clearly in Isaiah 14. The king of Babylon is a type of Satan, but then it really nails it down in Isaiah 14.

And verse 12, Isaiah 14 verse 12, how are you falling from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning? How are you cut down to the ground, which did weaken the nations? See, Satan is at work right now, and do you think the nations are stronger? The nations are weaker than they ever been. They may be stronger militarily, and they may have more bonds than their neighbors, but in the moral, spiritual sense, the nations are the weakest they have ever been. And Satan is having his day with them. You who did weaken the nations.

Then it says in verse 13, For you have said in your heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God, I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation in the sides of the north. I mean, God, he says, I'm going to replace God. I'm going to be over everything. I will ascend above the heights of the clouds I will be like, and really a better translation will be, I will replace the Most High. I will be the ruler. Of course, the rest of the chapter here to a large degree talks about how Lucifer and Satan will be brought down. So, researchers say there are three main problems in marriage, communication, sex, and finances. But I believe 20th century men and 20th century marriages have a greater problem, and that is authority and submission. Most preaching is on submission, as we've already mentioned at least twice. We cannot be a part of the world's cycles with authority hang-ups of doing your own thing. We cannot be dictators. We cannot participate in tyranny, revolution, anarchy. God did not ordain any of these, but he did ordain rulership, authority, and proper administration of that authority and submission. God has called us to peace, not fear. As you heard in the special music, to be a part of his government now. We are a part of God's government now. We used to hear that thunder all the time, that we are now under the government of God. The world will have its opportunity to be under the government of God during the millennium. But now is our time to be under the government of God. We are called now.

The rest of the world, of course, will be called later.

There are two essential aspects of government. Administration, exercise of authority, they're one and the same. The administration, exercise of authority. And second, is the response to the administration or submission or rebellion against it. At the present time, we're in, as a world, in a very rebellious state, we're teetering on revolution. We're teetering on tyranny. We're teetering on anarchy.

With all that we have brought forth to consider, now we should examine the administration of authority in the family. We have read the hierarchical structure of the family, but let's go there once again to 1 Corinthians 11, and I believe it's verse 4, where that starts with the hierarchical. That means from highest to lowest, though here it gives it lowest to highest, but the way it's stated, it shows that it is hierarchical and it goes from highest to lowest. So in 1 Corinthians 11, verse 3, I would have you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of the woman is the man, the head of Christ is God, and so on. And we've read several succeeding verses there. And we've talked about hairs used as a symbol of whether or not a woman is under the authority of God and their husband. And the same with a man, if his hair is too long, it says it's a shame unto God. So the authority that is given is God's authority that is given, conferred to the husband. He has that right to administer that authority. It is not his authority, per se, it is the God-given structure. And so what the world has tried to do now is subvert that structure, turn it around, and destroy the nuclear family altogether. And of course, all the things that it seemed that many of the women liberals were upset about was this statement about my wife really discovered her true joy in life when she became a mother and taking care of the children. Joy Behar says, it sounds like he has a mother's complex. He needs to get a therapist.

But God has given this authority, and man is to be God's representative to his wife and children. Up front, we can summarize what is conveyed in Scripture. We've already done that about a woman having her hair too short or a man having his hair too long. As long as a man administers this God-given authority according to God's law, God upholds the man's divine authority. As long as he does it according to what God says. But as soon as he departs from God's way of administration, it is no longer God's authority. It is not one person lording it over others. The authority is God's order for the family. And that's what the world cannot get. And that's what is so hated by Satan. You see, every child that is born, Satan hates because every child is a potential son or daughter of God. And he would want to destroy that person. How many potential sons and daughters of God have been destroyed through abortion in recent times? And of course, that will be one of the big issues in the upcoming political presidential race. So we see very clearly, hopefully, that it's the divine authority that God has given to man and what should be the basis of his administration. Or we might ask, what is authority based on? What is it founded on? What is the foundational basis for the administration of authority? God gives the answer in Matthew 20-28. We'll read that. Go to Matthew 20 and verse 20. In Matthew 20 and verse 20, then came to him the mother of Zebedee's children, James John, with her sons, worshiping him and desiring a certain thing of him. And he said unto her, What will you? What do you want? She said unto him, Grant that these my two sons may sit the one on the right hand, the other on the left in your kingdom. And Christ said, You don't know what you're asking. Are you able to drink of the cup that I'm going to drink of? I'm going to be crucified? They said, We're able. And so it went.

And then verse 25, Jesus called them unto him and said, You know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority over them, but it shall not be so among you, but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister. You look up that word minister, and there are several different meanings you can give them. But one meaning that is especially moving, I guess you would say, is it says one who runs through the dust for others, one who runs through the dust for others. And of course, it is to be your servant. And so it says in verse 28, Even as the Son of Man came, not to be minister, not to run through the dust to others, but to minister, he didn't come so others can run through the dust to them. But he came to run through the dust for others and give his life. He gave everything he had, greater love and no man than this, than he lay down his life for his friends. He couldn't give anything more. So the foundational basis for administration of authority is love and respect. Now, that kind of love is not eros, erotic love, or so-called romantic love, which serves to try to replace love in the realm of fantasy. But it is to some degree, a filial love, love of the brotherhood, but primarily it is agape, spiritual love. How is agape love measured? Well, the Bible gives a strict direct answer. Primarily, it is our willingness to give ourselves as living sacrifices. That's what Christ did. Greater love had no man than this, than he lay down his life for his friends. God gave all he could give, short of him dying for the sins of the world. He said that he gave his only begotten son, that God gave his only begotten son, that whoever should believe in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. And then the father gave, I mean the son gave all he could give, he gave his life. And then in Romans 12 and verse 1, we are asked not to give our lives in the physical sense completely, but to be living sacrifices. We don't have power to forgive sins, but we can be living sacrifices. It says in Romans 12 and 1, I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, wholly acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

Now the offering and sacrifice is a sweet-smelling Savior unto God, or sweet-smelling scent, as we call it, odor coming up, wafting across his nostrils. Look at Ephesians 5. Ephesians chapter 5 verse 1. Well, maybe I'll find it.

G.E.P.C. Ephesians chapter 5 verse 1. Be therefore followers of God as dear children, and walk in love as Christ also has loved us, and have given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling Savior. So when we become living sacrifices, it's as if we're offering incense unto God. Now we look at another scripture that says, Greater love has no man than this, than to lay down his life or his friends. We've coded that at least two or three times already. And hereby you shall know that you are my disciples if you have loved one for another. So what are the steps to perfection in the administration of authority? If it's based on love and respect, and all the things that we've talked about, a man must examine himself and his attitude toward authority. Only those who live under authority are fit to wield authority, and only those who are under authority can truly understand faith. That is, God will deliver you regardless of the circumstance, and through that circumstance, whatever it is, you can grow in grace. You know there's a commandment in the Bible where Peter closes his epistle and he says, but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Have you ever heard a sermon where they just focused on how to grow in grace? Well, there are a set of scriptures here. They are obscure with regard to how to grow in grace, but we're going to look at them right now. 1 Peter 2, 17. I hope that's the right reference. Sometimes in copying scriptures down, you don't get them just right. 1 Peter 2, 17. Honor all men, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king. Service be subject to your own masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward. You know the song of that mean boss, I'm going to tell him what to do one of these days. You probably heard the, I think it's Johnny Rodriguez in the concert song. I'm going to tell the boss to, I'm not going to say the word, but this is thank worthy. Guess what that, guess what that thank word is in Greek?

It is Charis. It is a Greek word for grace. For this is grace if a man per conscience toward God endure grief suffering wrongfully.

For what glory is it when we're buffeted for your faults, you shall take it patiently, but if when you do well and suffer for it, if you take it patiently, this is, guess what this Greek word is in Greek?

Charis, grace. This is grace with God. So that's one of the ways that you can grow in grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

If we will submit to the authority of God over us, God can work with us and He can work His will in us. Abraham, Noah, great men of faith, they submitted to God. God worked His will in them. And we're commanded, it says in Scripture, three times, the just shall live by faith in Abacach, in Romans, and in Hebrews. Now, they were not always delivered, but they will be delivered. A man with a rebellious household must first look to his own relationship with his source of authority, and who is our source of authority? Well, it is God the Father. A man must humble himself under the mighty hand of God, so that in due time he will be exalted. For example, his authority will be established. A man must develop the same attitude and approach as Christ in order for his authority to be established by God. Time after time, Christ said, I came not to do my own will, but to do the will of my Father who is in heaven. The works that I do, I'm not doing them really. It is the Father who works through me. You can check that out. That's easy to do in Scripture. That's what he says. So a man must develop the same attitude and approach as Christ in order for his authority to be established by God. This authority will be authority which no longer strives for us to receive, but it's given freely by God. He gives it to us because we're doing what he wants us to do. The old man has died to self, and therefore God has been able to establish his divine authority in the family. Of course, that's what we say at baptism. That's what baptism is all about. We say when we go under the water grave that we're crucified with Christ, the old man is buried. The new man is raised to newness of life.

We must make sure that the foundational basis for exercising authority is self-sacrificing love laying down our lives for the brethren. True leaders must be meek in the sense that Moses was meek. How meek was Moses. Well, the Bible says he was as meek as man on the face of the earth. Let's see if this says it. Maybe it doesn't. Numbers 12 and verse 1. And Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman. So Moses is married an Ethiopian woman. Now, Ethiopian means black. Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses, against the Ethiopian woman whom he had married, for he had married an Ethiopian woman. And they said, hath the Lord indeed spoken only by Moses, hath he not spoken also by us, and the Lord heard it. Now, the man Moses was very meek above all the men which were upon the face of the earth.

That's what the Bible says. Now, how was that manifested? It was manifested when he said, God said to him, I want you to lead my people out of slavery in Egypt. I want you to go back there and do it. Remember, at the age of 40, Moses saw an Israelite and an Egyptian striving against each other. And he killed the Egyptian and buried him in the sand.

He had thought that maybe he was the one that was supposed to deliver Egypt out of slavery. And so Moses got to thinking, he said, I better get out of here. They're going to be after me. So he fled into the desert, into the wilderness for 40 years. And after 40 years, God came to him and said, I want you to lead the children of Israel out of Egypt.

And he said, who am I that I should lead the people out of Israel, out of Egypt? Who am I to lead Israel out of Egypt?

After 40 years of herding sheep, he learned to view himself differently.

Now, the scripture says a man must not think more highly of himself than he ought to think. He must, this is in the Bible, and it's hard for us to do, to esteem others better than ourselves. Maybe we should read that. I believe it's in Philippians 2. We'll start in verse 1. G.E.P.C. Philippians 2.

If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercy, fulfill you my joy, that you be like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord and one mind. Let nothing be done through strife or vain glory, but in lowliness of mind, let each esteem others better than themselves. That's what it says. How hard is that to do? That's pretty hard at times. So after Moses came back from Egypt, there was only one time when he rebelled against God, and of course it cost him going into the Promised Land. But time after time, he went before God and he interceded for the people in the case of the golden calf. In the case of Aaron and Miriam, which we read about, whether they said, Moses, you take too much to yourself. Don't you know God is spoken by us also? And Miriam and Aaron were stricken with leprosy.

And Moses wanted them healed immediately, but he said, no, you gotta wait. He interceded in the case of the spies that sent out the spy out Canaan. He interceded in the case of Korah. Korah led a rebellion against Moses.

He only said in one time, in essence, don't you know who I am? When he struck the rock instead of speaking to the rock, it cost him entrance into the Promised Land.

Let's go to Numbers 20 in verse 10. Numbers 20 in verse 10. Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers 20 in verse 10.

Moses and Aaron gathered the congregation together before the rock, and he said unto them, Here now, you rebels, must we fetch water out of this rock? And Moses lifted up his hand, and with his rod he smote the rock twice, and water came out abundantly, and the congregation drank, and their beast also. And the Lord spoke unto Moses and Aaron, because you believe me not to sanctify me in the eyes of the children of Israel. Therefore, you shall not bring this congregation into the land which I have given unto them. It was a very costly mistake. So, if a husband finds his wife and children rebellious under his authority, his first recourse must be to God, and his mood must be one of repentance. In Aaron's prayer, he should ask God, Why haven't you established my authority in the family, or your authority in the family? What is it about me that makes me an unfit tool?

The tendency of most husbands is not to go before God as intercessor for his family, but to lecture his wife on her duty to be submissive. A husband who feels that he must continue to lecture his wife on her duty to be submissive has yielded up his authority already.

Remember, the foundational basis is agape. It is spiritual love. So, how does this work in practice? You have to respect your subjects. You know, in the marriage ceremony that the church has, it says that you respect each other deeply. I don't know if it directs it especially to the man or the woman, or to both, but that is in there to respect. I believe it says to respect your husband. It was a change from obey your husband to respect your husband.

So, when an argument flares up in marriage, his husband plays first to humble himself and asks forgiveness for whatever was wrong in his behavior, and he is to lay down his life. And it says in Ephesians 5.25, Let not the sun go down on your wrath. And I would say of all the scriptures we have obeyed in our marriage, in marriage 68 years, this is the one. Oh yes, there have been disagreements several along the way. Nothing major over a major issue, but it can become major over minor issue.

Don't let the sun go down on your wrath.

It may be that the wife's guilt is greater than yours, but we're called to love our wives as Christ loved the church. Christ humbled himself under the guilt of sin while we were yet sinners. He died for us. Husbands should do as Christ did.

But how can a man really do this? Well, to do it the way Christ did it. Go to Ephesians 5. Ephesians 5, and we'll see this. In verse 25, husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself forth. So it is sacrificial love.

Christ humbled himself under the guilt of sin while we were yet sinners. The husband should go to Christ the way Christ laid down his life. How can he do this? He can do it by giving up himself, as we've already mentioned.

He simply decides he's going to be crucified with Christ. The first step to eternal life and blessing is repentance. You know, when David had committed the great sin with Bathsheba, Psalm 51 covers this, in which he went before God and he said, I've sinned against you and against you only. Have I sinned and done this evil in your sight? As the spiritual head of the family, the husband and father must be the first to repent. Blessed are the peacemakers, and as we've already mentioned, let not the son go down on your wrath. Now granted, the wife may take the husband's repentance wrong and try to use it as an excuse to justify herself, but the husband must not raise up and say, I confess my sins, now you ought to confess yours. No, a husband cannot truly repent and have ulterior motives. He's crucified with Christ. He gives up himself for his wife as Christ gave up himself for the church and repents first because God calls him to give up his life, to go ahead of his family, and to give up his life. Because of God has given us true repentance for our sins, we ought to forgive one another. Many men believe that as soon as authority is given, they must go out and let their wives know who is boss. When Christ told the apostles to go out and all things were given to them, what did he then do after he did that? Well, that's recorded in John 17, where we take the Passover. He said, all authority has been given to me in heaven and in earth. What did he do next? He washed their feet.

In Colossians chapter 3, Paul further enlightens us on how to wield authority and how to submit to authority. So let's go to Colossians chapter 3.

And we'll start in verse 19. In Colossians 3, 19, husbands love your wives and be not bitter against them. Children obey your parents and all things for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers provoke not your children to anger lest they be discouraged. Servants obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not with high services men pleasers, but in singleness and part, fearing God. Harshness and bitterness will undermine any relationship and especially marriage. A man must watch his manner of expression in the little things. And that's one of the problems that I have in the little things.

We can make mountains out of mole hills. It's so easy to do. You must not be careless. You need to show tenderness and respect. Some men and women will behave with great respect toward every stranger and every person in church. Put forth their best front for them, but at home they're quite different. Oftentimes, respect and sweetness will be different. Oftentimes, respect and sweetness are left at the front door.

It is the duty of both husband and wife to gladden the heart of one another daily. Do we do that?

To continually bind them to ourselves by tender attention and noble behavior. What we have been called to is a higher calling than you can really imagine.

If there are grounds of dissatisfaction, let them speak as in Leviticus 19.17. Let's go to Leviticus 19.17 and see what that says. It is repeated in essence in 1 John chapter 3. Leviticus 19.17.

I hope I haven't reversed this and it will be 17.19. I'm prone to do that. This is Leviticus 19.17. You shall not hate your brother and your heart. You shall in any wise rebuke your neighbor and not bear sin for him. You shall in any wise rebuke your neighbor. In other words, if your neighbor is wrong, if the husband is wrong, if the wife is wrong, then you are to bring it forth and to discuss it and not bury it, because if you bury it long enough, bitterness will ensue.

It says in Ephesians chapter 5 that no man ever hated his own flesh, but will nourish it and cherish it. Our wives are our own flesh. Of course, that is achieved literally in intimacy. Do you nourish and cherish your flesh? The first duty of nourishment is spiritual. I know once again we can get in the same old argument of which comes first, the chicken or the egg, but the Bible very clearly says, seek you first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these other things will be added to you. And it also says, man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God. I know a man must provide for his family, but he needs to provide spiritual nourishment first and not to neglect the physical. It says in 1 Timothy 5.8, if a man neglects the physical needs of his family, they are worse than an infidel and have denied the faith. So a husband should deeply desire that his wife be in the kingdom of God, even if it means that he wouldn't be in the kingdom. Remember Paul's statement, I could wish myself a curse from Christ that my kinsman, according to the flesh, might be saved. The husband should feed his family spiritually. He must take the leadership in Bible study, in prayer, in obedience, and repentance, in every aspect of spiritual life. Teach identity, teach who you are. We are the people of God. We are the children of God. You are a child of God.

A sign of breakdown in the family is the ease in which husbands allow their wives to assume these responsibilities. The wife becomes the teacher, in essence, the preacher, instead of the husband. In order to love your wife as Christ loves the church, and thus qualify to exercise the same kind of authority over the family as Christ does over the church, the husband must cherish his wife. A man works and earns money. His salary checks his employer's commendation or recognition of his worth. A housewife has no such criterion. Yet she, too, needs appreciation and motivation. Many husbands don't realize the depth of this need. They brush it off with, well, I married you, didn't I?

Husbands should consider their wives a treasure given to them by a bountiful God. Love her, honor her, recognize her talents, appreciate her efforts, be considered of her feelings, express your love for her every day, and life will become more rewarding for both of you in this way. So, as we come to a close, are you willing to lay down your life and humble yourself under the mighty hand of God so He will exalt you, give you His authority over cities, over whatever in the kingdom of God in due season. It all begins in the family right here, right now, and let's begin today. So, let's summarize. We have eight summary points here. One, husbands must never surrender the reigns of leadership. Two, realizes God's authority, not yours. Three, you must lay down your life in true agape spiritual love. Four, you must be under the authority of Christ. Five, you must be meek. You must respect your wife and children. Six, you must not deal harshly. Seven, you must provide spiritual and physical nourishment. Eight, as we note at the beginning of the summary, you must never quit. You must not abdicate. You must never give up. You must administer God's authority in a godly manner. So, that's the challenge.