To Be Tender Hearted

We are now back from this wonderful feast, from all I have heard. Everything's been very positive, very uplifting, and that's the way it should be. The Feast of Tabernacles should be a marvelous glimpse at that coming world that we all look forward to. But now we're back to reality.

We have to rub shoulders with an unconverted world. We have to deal with the dirt that this society, unfortunately, shovels out, and it's tough. We have to take what we have learned, and now we'll see if we apply it. Or if it's just a passing glimpse, that's not the way it should be. We should be able to start applying some of these principles in our lives, and we should remember that division is our hope. Faith is the walk, the way we walk toward that hope, and love is the attitude that we have as we walk toward it. So those are the three great virtues, the hope, faith, and love. And one is an attitude, the other one is the walk, and the other one is the goal, the vision that we have. And now that we have returned back to our families, back to our marriages, back to our single life, whatever that may be, we know that Satan is out there. He didn't take a break. He was very angry with us about the feast. He doesn't like to be reminded of what is coming and how he will be defrocked. He will be removed, dethroned from his influence upon human beings, and we certainly look forward to that. But Satan knows that if he can disturb and divide the family, he can then get to each one of us individually. He knows that the best strategy is to divide and to conquer, to be able to split families up, split marriages, split friendships, and then he can go after each one separately. Let's look at a scripture in 1 Peter chapter 3.

Here it's a wonderful principle showing how family life and spiritual life go together.

In 1 Peter chapter 3 verse 7, 1 Peter 3 verse 7, Peter is talking here and he says about the family and the marriage, husbands likewise dwell with them, talking about your wives, with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. So he's focusing on if we've got a tumultuous life and we're just going through all this churning and full of stress, it's very hard to keep your prayer life together. And what happens when we don't have prayer life? You become far more easily irritated, you let little things get in the way, and we don't have the same patience, we don't have the same self-control, and pretty soon things start going south on us. And so we realize that if we're able to have a happy marriage, that's going to make it a lot easier for us to go before God with a calmness and with peace in our hearts, and we can communicate with God the Father a lot better. But when we don't, then it's very tough, because it's related one thing to another.

And so I'm going to bring something forward. I brought all my paraphernalia with me, because it's always good to illustrate things. It says that a picture is worth a thousand words. And so I'm going to illustrate it with two things that I have here in my bag.

The first thing, I have a big rock. And I also have something different here. You probably haven't seen too many of these, but this is a Chilean wonder. This is the Chilean heater. This is a water bottle, hot water bottle, and you warm it up in the wintertime. This is German, by the way. It's very good rubber. It's lasted many years, and we would put it, it's nice and warm, and you put it underneath the covers, the sheets, and then you put your feet there. You don't care whether it's freezing in the room or not. You have nice warm feet, and it just warms you up. But you see, these are, this is symbolic of our hearts, how they can be. They can be hard, or they can be soft and pliable. And God talks about our hearts very much in the Bible. And it has to do with family and marriage relationships. And we're going to go through the scriptures so we can analyze, is our heart turning harder, or is it turning more tender, more tender-hearted? Let's look at the following verse in 1 Peter chapter 3, in verse 8, after he says how we should treat our wives with understanding, with care, as the more fragile vessel, because they're more emotionally charged. It's easier for them to get down, to get, they're more sensitive. And so in verse 8, it says, finally all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another. Love as brothers, be tender-hearted, be courteous. And I want to focus on that word, tender-hearted, because it's used in the Old Testament and the New Testament. It's a beautiful word. It's, for those who want to write it down, E-U-S-P-L-A-G-C-H-N-O-S, eusplangness.

Eusplangness. And it literally means having healthy bowels, which means everything inside is in good shape. It means good-heartedness from Eu, which means well, and splangen, which is the heart or the inward organs, because it includes more than the heart. These were considered the seat of the emotions and the intentions of the heart.

And means compassionate tenderness, that is, being sympathetic toward others. Tender-hearted, compassionate, having the bowels easily moved, as the word implies, to commiserate the state of others. So, back in those days, people were much more emotionally tuned to their lives. They weren't so busy. And they noticed that when you have fear, all of a sudden your kidneys can get hard.

When you have what they call a broken heart, when something has disappointed you, or a relationship didn't go well, your heart actually gets more constricted, and you feel it.

And your bowels, they all tighten up. And so, emotions are tied to our inner organs.

We know that that is medically correct. And you've got the adrenaline, you've got the constriction, when you're tightened up. I love this scripture in Ezekiel 36. I mean, no, let's go. Jeremiah 4, Jeremiah 4, verse 19. This one's always gotten my attention. Jeremiah chapter 4, verse 19.

Jeremiah lived right before the conquest of Jerusalem by the Babylonians. And the Babylonians were getting very close to Jerusalem. They had invaded, and they were getting closer. And so, you can imagine the fright that people felt. And they saw this huge Babylonian army coming down, conquering everything in their sight. And so, he says in Jeremiah chapter 4, verse 19, it says, Oh, my soul, my soul, I am pain in my very heart. My heart makes a noise in me. I cannot hold my peace, because you have heard, oh, my soul, the sound of the trumpet, the alarm of war, destruction upon destruction is cried, for the whole land is plundered. And so, actually, in the Hebrew, it's called, he says, my kidneys, my kidneys. Why? Because when you are very afraid, your kidneys tighten up, just like balls in the back. Have you ever felt that type of fear, where your kidneys just kind of constrict and become very hard? And Jeremiah was describing emotionally how his inner organs were tightened up with a great fear that he faced at that time.

And so, the heart is the seed of emotions in the Bible, the seed of decisions.

You can talk about the heart, the bowels. In other words, your innards are moved by emotions. And so, let's go to Ezekiel. Just one more book forward, Ezekiel 36, where God describes the state of a person's heart. Ezekiel 36, verse 24, he is prophesying of a time when he will change the heart of Israel. He says, For I will take you from among the nations, Gather you out of all the countries, And bring you into your own land. Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, talking about eventually a type of purification or baptism, And you shall be clean. I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart, and put a new spirit within you. I will take the heart of what? Of stone, of rock, out of your flesh, and give you a heart of flesh. Something nice and soft and pliable, as this symbolizes a tender heart, a heart that isn't hardened to others' predicaments. You have a concern for others.

Hippocrates, the father of medicine, used this term, used plankton, physically, about a person that is in good physical shape, and that is, he has healthy bowels. Have you ever heard the phrase, he has a gut feeling? Because you actually sometimes say, I have a gut feeling about this.

Your bowels are telling you, this is right or this is wrong. It's very interesting how they're both related, physical to the spiritual. In Barnes' commentary, he says about being tender-hearted, he says, having a heart disposed to pity and compassion, and especially disposed to show kindness to the faults of erring brethren. Now brethren that are making mistakes, or you have compassion, for so the connection demands. And you read the rest of 1 Peter 3 from verses 9 on. It mentions about forgiving one another.

Let's go to Matthew chapter 9 verse 35, see about Jesus Christ. He is the one most described in the Bible, having this attribute of being tender-hearted. In Matthew chapter 9 verse 35, it says, then Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the kingdom of God.

Let's see, I've got here, yeah, Matthew 9, 35, and healing every sick and every disease among the people. But when he saw the multitudes, he was moved with compassion for them. So his bowels moved. Instead of looking at all of these poor and wretched people, and go, you know, he was moved. He cared for them. He had compassion for them. He had a tender heart, because they were weary and scattered like sheep, having no shepherd.

Let's go to Matthew 14 verse 14. There are many more instances. I'll just mention these two as examples. Matthew 14 verse 14. And when Jesus went out, he saw a great multitude, and he was moved with compassion for them, and healed their sick. And literally, it's talking about his inner parts moved. He felt the pain of others. He wanted to help them, heal them, as he could. So we see this is an attribute that God considers so important. And to me, I consider it one of the great attributes that have to do with hope, faith, and love.

And love and tender heartedness go together. Instead of having a heart that becomes harder and tougher, you maintain a heart that is tender, that you're able to feel others' needs and difficulties, and you genuinely are concerned for them. Let's go to Josiah in 2 Kings chapter 22, because we're going to go through this carefully, you know, toward what should we be tender hearted? The first is toward God and His law. We have to put His kingdom and His righteousness first. We have to be tender hearted toward God's law. Instead of, you know, a heart of stone that God says, I'm going to take this away from you, because there in Ezekiel 36 He says, once I take this heart of stone and put a heart of flesh, then you're going to be able to obey Me willingly.

You're not going to have the hardness of heart. You're not going to reject My laws. Notice in 2 Kings chapter 22, young King Josiah, who started out when he was eight years old, and he was, he had a big challenge. As he grew up, he was still a teenager when they found the book of the law in the temple.

It says in verse 11, now it happened when the King heard the words of the book of the law, that he tore his clothes. Then the King commanded Hilkiah the priest, and the rest here, which he says, saying, Go inquire the Lord for me, for the people and for all Judah, concerning the words of this book that has been found. For great is the wrath of the Lord that is aroused against us, because our fathers have not obeyed the words of this book to do according to all that is written concerning us.

So they went to this prophetess, and this is what God answered in verse 16. Thus says the Lord, Behold, I will bring calamity on this place, and on its inhabitants all the words of the book which the King of Judah has read, because they have forsaken me and burned incense to other gods, that they might provoke me to anger with all the works of their hands. Therefore my wrath shall be aroused against this place, and shall not be quenched. But as for the King of Judah, who sent you to inquire of the Lord, in this manner you shall speak to him.

Thus says the Lord God of Israel, concerning the words which you have heard, because your heart was tender, and you humbled yourself before the Lord, when you heard what I spoke against this place, and against its inhabitants, that they would become a desolation and a curse, and you tore your clothes and wept before me. I also have heard you, says the Lord.

Surely therefore I will gather you to your fathers, and you shall be gathered to your grave in peace, and your eyes shall not see all the calamity which I will bring on this place. Why? Because his heart was tender. He was willing to adapt to God's law and to submit to it. And so there is a relationship between the heart of a person and the obedience, the way you submit. And you know, a person can harden their hearts, especially through sin.

The heart becomes harder and harder. It loses its sensibility. It is no longer that tender heartedness that God wants from all of us. Notice in Hebrews chapter 3, God says we shouldn't harden our hearts to sin, or through sin. Hebrews chapter 3 verse 12.

This is one way to harden a person's heart. Verse 12, he's talking about the Israelites, and how the wrong example they set for the church. So he says to the church members, beware brethren, lest there be any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God, but exhort one another daily while it is called today, lest any of you be hardened through the seedfulness of sin. The heart can eventually lose its sensitivity to sin. It can just harden itself, and they just will go against God, and after a while you don't even feel bad about it. You don't feel guilty. You don't repent at all, because your heart has become hardened by it. So that's the first thing that we should do, is to be tender-hearted toward God and His law.

Never harden yourself to it. The second way that we should be tender-hearted is in our marriages, to show tenderness and tender-heartedness. There are two differences here that we will see. And I, through experience, say this is such an important attribute in marriage, to keep that tender-heartedness. Let's go to Ephesians. There's a scripture here that I want to focus on. Ephesians 4, talking here about the way we should care for each other. In verse 30, it says, And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice. Now that's the hardness of the heart. These are the things that come out of a hard heart.

All kinds of bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking.

In verse 32, And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. So you see, this isn't some peripheral issue. This is a central issue in our lives. What are we going to do with our heart? Are we going to develop more that tender-heartedness, or are we going to let ourselves be hardened through circumstances and difficulties, and we just become less and less sensitive to the things that are positive? So that has to do with our relationship in marriage.

Did you know that the Bible is progressively just forward-looking as far as the way women's rights are in the Bible? It's revolutionary for its day. Women had marital rights when, during Paul's day, women were not treated very well. They were treated like property. And yet the Bible never sinks to that level. It always exalts the woman and her rights. Let's read a couple of these scriptures in relationship to marriage. Hebrews 13, verse 4. Hebrews 13, verse 4. It says, marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. In other words, there is no sin in marital relations, only outside of marital relations is there sin. It says here that the bed is not tainted by any sin. Some churches teach almost that what goes on in marriage is sinful, or it's something negative. The Bible doesn't say that at all. It says it is undefiled. There is no sin. In marital bliss and what goes on in marriage, God says it is spotless. There's nothing to be guilty about. That's the way he wants us to express our love. But, he says fornicators, those who do it outside the marriage, and adulterers, God will judge. In this case, fornicators are the ones that do it before marriage, and adulterers are the ones that do it after marriage with other people.

In 1 Corinthians 7, verse 4, this is an incredibly progressive view of things. Truly revolutionary. In 1 Corinthians 7, verse 4, it says, the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except with consent for a time, that you may give yourself to fasting and prayer, and come together again, so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. So, he says in a healthy marriage, that's the way it should be. You shouldn't be withholding yourselves, one against the other. Sometimes, unfortunately, in marriages, the relationships, marital relationships, are used as a weapon. Well, no, don't touch me. Don't, I don't want anything to do with you, or, you know, there's that coldness that affects the other person. Well, here Paul is saying that the wife shouldn't be thinking about her own self, but the welfare of her husband. And the husband should be thinking not of himself, but of the welfare of his wife. Things should not be forced. They should not be something that hurts the other person. You have to be tender-hearted. That is the principle, and you don't use sex as a weapon against the other person. So it doesn't say here that the man is in charge, and a woman's his property to be used as he wills. No. It says here that the man should consider his wife and her needs, and the wife should consider her husband's needs. That's the way it works. It should all be in harmony, in a positive way. But notice also that the Bible doesn't give us all the specifics. It's up to the couple to develop how to express that love properly, thinking about the other. And it's a wonderful open-ended relationship that God says the couple can see how to develop that love in the best way that they deem it, in an honorable way. Notice in 1 Thessalonians chapter 4, 1 Thessalonians chapter 4, verses 3 through 5, it says, For this is the will of God, your sanctification, that you should abstain from sexual immorality, that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel, in sanctification and in honor, not in passion of lust like the Gentiles, who do not know God, that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, and we all so forewarned you and testified. So it's talking about the proper way to look at things and that it shouldn't be based on just some egoistical attitude. If we are thinking about the other person and we're tender-hearted and we're considerate, things are going to go so positive in it. This isn't something you can force. This isn't some, you know, slave-master relationship. And unfortunately, some have viewed it that way, and to disastrous results, either the person becomes some type of submissive wimp or else they just opt out of the relationship altogether.

But here, this point about tender-heartedness applies to the marriage as well.

I think it's very important, this last scripture talks about not in the passion of love, like the Gentiles who do not know God, implying that that was pretty common, that the woman was taken just like an object, that it wasn't a human being with all of these needs and loves to be satisfied properly. And we have to be considerate and think of the other. Let me get another prop out here.

I have here just a little sheet of cardboard and I have a scotch tape. This is from a quote from a young man who he said had been a wolf toward women. He had not learned how to properly treat them until he came into Christianity and he submitted to the Bible and he saw his wrong way of life before. And he wrote a book, well he wrote an article called, Romances with Wolves.

It's online. You can google it. It's a very fine advice and he mentioned something here that has to do with scotch tape that got my attention. So youths, you should listen. He's about premarital relationships which are so common today. This young man says, it's like a piece of scotch tape.

The more you use it on different surfaces, the less it sticks to things. After a while, it won't stick to anything. If I bond with other girls before I get married or the opposite, if it's a girl and she's bonding with boys before she gets married, he goes on to say here, I won't be able to bond as well with my wife someday. I won't cherish her as much as I could have and consequently I won't love her as much as I could have.

So here's the test with the scotch tape. Okay, there's one relationship. Pull it out.

Okay, here's another one. See, it starts peeling, starts coming out, starts full of paper.

It's coming out. Now, it hardly sticks at all. It starts with all of, it loses its attachment. Well, that's the way when people start attaching to others and that also applies to wrong friendships. Pretty soon, those bonds that you should have with the right people, you lose them because you're the wrong people and that's scotch tape. That bonding, after a while, you lose respect for yourself, you lose respect for others. He says, continuing on, each day that passes that I've remained faithful to my future wife means that my relationship with her will be better. It's a funny thing. Our culture decries adultery. Oh, yes, you see all over the magazines and all these scandals. Now, when they've committed adultery, they have programs about cheating wives or cheating husbands and all the things that go on. That's not socially acceptable very much. But then he says, yet it freely condones premarital sex, even with multiple partners. Oh, you see all of that, all these sitcoms and all these things. They never talk about going against that. But then he makes this point. That's ironic because if you take the element of time out of the equation, premarital sex is adultery. You just do it a little earlier than the other one does it a little bit later. We can imagine how adultery would greatly injure a marriage relationship. Maybe premarital sex actually has nearly the same results.

It injures the potential bond between a man and a woman. So what do you want? Used scotch tape? Oh, you want new scotch tape that will be able to bond throughout your life. So this is something that the youth should take into consideration. If you make mistakes in your life, repent.

And that scotch tape can actually recover quite a lot of its adhesive powers by just giving it time to heal and not use that scotch tape until it becomes totally ruined.

So this has to do with being tender-hearted, feeling the needs of the other, having the bowels toward your mate, and being tender, and feeling when that person is hurting, you hurt too. And when that person needs something, you're going to be considerate about it. Isn't that what marriage is all about? There's a joke that someone mentioned when Adam and Eve were created.

The Bible says that Eve was created from the rib of the man. And some say, well, that was because she's closer to the man's heart. Others say it's because he's closer to the man's wallet.

And finally, the last point, be tender-hearted toward children.

Let's go to Colossians chapter 3. Colossians chapter 3 verse 21.

There's a simple statement here, but very profound. It says, fathers, do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged.

The term here in the Greek for provoke means to nag as a habit. You know, goading children, just pushing. You've seen sometimes these herders, they've got these They may use their ability to make the cause It is not most important to Maria There are archeologists, white reflects, they don't environment