Being a Peacemaker, Part 2

Last week, we heard about being a peacemaker and the general principles. And we know man is much better at making war than making peace. Some enterprising historian once checked the last almost 6,000 years of history, and man has been at war approximately 5,800 years. It's only been like 200 years, where there was a time when no war was on the earth.

There's always been conflicts from the beginning with Cain and Abel, two brothers, and one killed the other. So it's very important for us to understand this subject, covering the point about being a peacemaker, especially as the Passover gets closer and closer when God asks us to reconcile ourselves with a brethren. We're about to wash each other's feet at that time.

So Passover preparation time is very important in that regard. Also important is to take into account what it says in 1 Corinthians 6, verses 2 and 3. 1 Corinthians 6, verses 2 and 3, it says, Do you not know that the saints will judge the world?

People don't take that into account. Christianity does not teach that. They think you're going up to heaven. There's not going to be any judgment according to them. You've already been judged. But here we have a biblical teaching, which is that the saints are going to judge the world.

And as it was brought out in the first sermonette, the first message, that the feast days are the plan of salvation and that we are going to be judging the world. First, during that thousand-year period when the millennium will take place and Christ will be governing, there will be a time of judgment during that period. And the saints are going to be part of the government. They will be priests and kings, and they will learn how to judge, how to decide things.

But even more so when the second great resurrection takes place after the thousand-year period, and we have billions of people who were either ignorant of God's way of life, they never knew Jesus Christ and His teachings, many people perished before Christ was even born. And many billions are still in ignorance, or they have been deceived by the God of this world.

And so there's going to be a time to judge and evaluate them. And then notice what it says, continuing here in 1 Corinthians 6, too. It's not just going to be judging the world. It says, And if the world will be judged by you, are you unworthy to judge the smallest matters?

Do you not know that we shall judge angels? So there will be a time when Satan, when his fallen angels will come before the judgment seat of God. And we will have a part in that when they lay their hands symbolically and eventually expel Satan and his demons to a place that is way beyond this universe and be expelled, but they will be judged. And it says here that we are going to have a part in judging angels.

So it says here, how much more things that pertain to this life. We have to learn how to evaluate things and judge things correctly. We have to learn how to be peacemakers, how to reconcile ourselves to others, others to ourselves, and help others with their different relationships with others. And so dealing with offenses, dealing with conflict is part of life. It's going to be something that's going to be with us throughout our lives.

How to solve these problems is so important. We have the family, where conflicts, offenses take place, school. Sometimes you have a hard time with other students or teachers, sometimes at work, with your boss or with your fellow workers, or in a marriage. You're going to have conflict. You're going to have offense, being offended, and with rearing children. That's the time when you can be offended or you can offend them. And lastly, in the church. And we are called to be overcomers. These are tests that God places in our lives to see how we deal with them.

Through tests, God sees what is our inner heart, what is our true behavior, our true motivation behind things. So tests bring out these things. Sometimes conflicts. How we handle them tells a lot about what is inside of us. Instead of just the facade, what you see in the outer self. With testing, you see the inner self, the genuine person. And so there is this basic principle that Jesus Christ gave in Matthew 18, which is based on the golden rule. Treat others as you would have others treat you.

So when there is a conflict, Matthew 18 is a basic principle. And we have all suffered as we go through life because it has not been applied. And I can think of cases in my life where I would have liked the person to have practiced Matthew 18 instead of going to others and making it known something that many times was a misunderstanding of the facts. And yet it had already spread. And if the person would have just come and cleared the issue up instead of supposing it was right and already it was spread, it had multiplied. I'm sure that has happened in your case. People have gossip, they have talk behind your back, and all of a sudden you find out something is being dispersed and spread. That is not truthful. That is not genuine. It's not real. But you have to fight that. And especially for young people, how important is it to form good habits, how to deal with conflict? It's going to help you in your future marriage, at work, with your children, if you learn to do these things. Even kids have rights, too. If they're going to have to be disciplined, it's always good to take them out. Don't do it in front of the rest of the brothers and sisters. Don't embarrass them that way. Just take them to a room, deal with it privately. The child is going to appreciate that. Nobody likes to be embarrassed in front of other people. This principle in Matthew 18 applies in this case. And we have a paper on this subject that was approved by the Council of Elders on May 22, 2008. So we've had this paper now for some five years. It's called Reconciliation in Matthew 18. So this is a very in-depth study on the subject because people have had different ideas on how to apply it. And it is a church teaching, so it's important to understand the principles in the right way. I'm going to read Matthew 18, verses 15 through 18, which is where Jesus Christ is talking in that chapter about reconciling, forgiveness, dealing with conflict. So he put this right in the middle of Matthew 18. From 15 to 18, he said, Assuredly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth, he's talking to his, uh, the twelve, disciples who would be the apostles who would be in charge when he left. He says, Assuredly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you lose on earth will be loosed in heaven. So it's important to take that scripture into the context that he's talking to them. And he's saying, this is the way you are going to teach people in the church to deal with it. And if they can't reconcile with two witnesses, then you bring it to those that are in authority. But they shouldn't be brought to the authority, first of all. So we're going to break this section down part by part to understand it better. Number one, if the brother sins against you, that's what Jesus Christ said. Now the word that's important here is the word sin. What does he mean by the word sin?

In the Greek, it's the word har-martia, which means missing the mark. Somebody erred and did not treat you right. He missed the mark.

He does something that breaks the harmonious relationship with you. Many times it means breaking one of God's laws in relation to you. Remember in 1 John 3-4 it says sin is the transgression of the law. And this is a way of saying somebody trespassed against you and brought this offense. Maybe somebody said something untruthful that caused damage. You found out. Maybe a person broke a promise to you, whether it's monetary or another type of a pledge. A promise to pay back, and he didn't, and so that can be an issue. Maybe he said something untruthful, like I said, and propagates gossip against you.

You found out this person is damaging your reputation. Maybe they caused an insult, something they said really cut or ridiculed you in front of others and embarrassed you. So there are many ways this can happen, but it does cause offense. It does break the harmonious relationship with you. Now, it's important that Jesus Christ didn't say, well, if somebody offends you in any way, it has to be something serious enough to be qualified as a sin. Sometimes it's a minor offense. Maybe it hurt a bit, but it wasn't necessary to pursue it further.

Sometimes it's best handled by overlooking the fault. That is certainly biblical. So that's why Jesus Christ didn't just say, well, any fault the person commits, you've got to apply Matthew 18. That's not the case. Let's look at some Scriptures here in Proverbs 17. Proverbs 17, verse 9. We see this principle dealing with conflict and being offended. Matthew 17, verse 9. It says, He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates friends.

Sometimes you can just overlook. Okay, the person made a mistake. I've made mistakes before. The Bible tells us there in Ecclesiastes that don't listen to everything they say because you've done it too. So nobody's perfect with the tongue. Sometimes it doesn't rise to the level of Matthew 18. That's important to understand. In Proverbs 19, verse 11, it says, The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression.

So you can't just be so sensitive that anything somebody says that hurts you means you have to go and apply Matthew 18. There are times when it's just better to overlook because sometimes things get complicated. When you go directly to the person and the person might feel embarrassed, it jacks it up or elevates it to another level. And if you don't see the person repeating this, it might have just been a one-of-a-time situation. If you see a pattern, the person is constantly ridiculing you. But if this is something that the person just kiddingly said something but it hurt you, you might think, well, I'm just going to overlook it, not worry about it.

But if it does constitute sin where something serious has happened, then Jesus Christ says, go. Go to the person. So this means don't wait for Him to come to you. You take the initiative. Don't wait for the person to come to you. In Matthew 18, page 5, Matthew 18, this would be point 2 that I have written down for the Matthew 18 paper.

Point 1 was just the introduction, which I'm not going to read for lack of time. But it says here, However, Christ sets the stage by stating in verse 1 through 5 of Matthew 18 that reconciliation begins with humility. How do you go to your brother? Okay, now it says you should go with humility.

It is essential that all parties concerned begin with this correct approach and attitude. Christ then speaks of the importance of not causing offense, though it is inevitable that offenses will come. Verses 6 through 11 of Matthew 18. Inevitably, we will be offended from time to time. And inevitably, we offend others from time to time. Next, Christ speaks about the care and concern that we should have for one another.

By the way, I have copies of this paper out if you didn't get it through the email for those who don't have access to it. He says, Our love for one another should be so great that we will make every effort to restore the lost sheep to the full.

God does not want to see anyone perish, and neither should we. So when we go, we have to have that right attitude. And there's a scripture that's important in this regard. Notice in Galatians 6, verse 1, It says, Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. So again, how do you go? Well, you have to gently restore a spirit of humility, not to browbeat and go in attack mode when you go privately to the person.

You should be humble. You should, as the term means, gently restore him. That's quite a beautiful term when it says, they are a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself, and to restore. The word restore is used in the Bible for mending of nets. You're restoring the nets back to what they should be able to use. When the nets are broken, the fish just swim right through.

So you have to mend the nets. And these are mending our relationships. So they should be as they ideally should be. That's the point that we see here in Galatians 6, verse 1.

And so we should restore gently the person. Another good scripture is 2 Timothy 2, verse 24. This is talking about the minister and how he should restore a person that has gone off the track. But the same principles apply here. 2 Timothy 2, verse 24. It says, So this is talking about something more serious in the church, where a person has just really gone off the track and the minister has to restore the person, try to do so the best way possible. But the principle is there. We shouldn't be high-handed. We shouldn't go in with, I'm more righteous than you approach. We should come in and say, look, this is something that is difficult, but I need to restore that relationship. And we need to talk this out. Something has happened that has damaged this relationship, and it's affected me. That's the right way to apply it. As Jesus Christ emphasized, this should be privately, so you won't embarrass him or her before others. So this isn't spread around where others are listening in, and you don't divulge it to others who have no business knowing about this. And as Jesus Christ said, if step one works, if he listens, you can reconcile, you've solved the problem, you've restored the relationship, and now you can move on. Okay, that's behind us. That has been mended. But, as Jesus Christ said, what happens if the person doesn't hear? Then you should take two witnesses. And so this is important to know who should be these witnesses, and who shouldn't be these witnesses, and what is the purpose for it. Again, the Matthew 18 paper, on page 6. Page 6 covers this. Number 4, that I put down as my notes, it says, If he will not hear, take with you one or two more. Why? That by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. Perhaps the person did not hear because he was in denial of his offense. Perhaps a presentation of the grievance was faulty the way it was presented to him. Perhaps he is actually innocent of the offense. In any case, it now becomes critical that objective witnesses validate the process, but exposure to a wider audience is still kept to a minimum. So this is the way you limit the level of people that need to find out. This is called a need to know basis. Well, now you have two people. The mission of these witnesses is to help the parties listen and understand each other. They are to encourage reconciliation in a private setting. But, quote, if he refuses to hear them, they are later able to give testimony that the conversation took place and confirm that what was said in their mouth is so that every word may be established. This is the principle that many times a minister will have somebody with them when they have to deal with a problem, just to have somebody else there as a witness. I'm going to read the little point 5 here. I jotted down my notes. It says, Furthermore, the church desires and promotes the reconciliation of all the brethren. I want to go back to point 4 and read the two paragraphs here. I do have time. It says, Two witnesses were used in a judicial context to establish the fact in a judgment. See Deuteronomy 19.15. One witness shall not rise against a man concerning any iniquity or any sin that he commits. By the mouth of two or three witnesses, the matter shall be established. Verse 16 through 19 reinforces that the witnesses had great responsibility to be fair and honest.

I want to go back to the paragraph above this one. It says, Note that these one or two are witnesses to the conversation, but do not have to be witnesses to the offense, though they could be. Also, they are not chosen friends of the plaintiff, the accuser, who will, quote, pile on, close quotes, the accused. They observe the discussion and facilitate clear communication. This same principle was established in the Old Testament, which I just read.

The final paragraph in this section, it says, Jesus uses the principle of two witnesses. In this context, they are witnesses to the attempted reconciliation. Should the two parties not be reconciled, at step two, the witnesses can give a faithful report to the church. So it's not just, He said, She said, or there is somebody there that witnessed the account.

So we go to step three, if the person doesn't listen.

It says, And if He refuses to hear them, tell it to the church.

One or both parties should take the matter, along with the witnesses, to the church.

It is hoped that the counsel and judgment of the church will lead to a resolution of the issue and a reconciliation of the disputants.

This is an appeal for an objective, spiritually-minded, authoritative judgment on how the conflict should be resolved.

Furthermore, the church desires and promotes the reconciliation of all brethren.

If not resolved, the conflict will spread to others and perhaps even become a, quote, root of bitterness, by which, quote, many become defiled.

See, from something that could have been dealt with and reconciled and healed, now something that is unresolved can grow.

And from resentment, you can get to bitterness. And that's much worse.

And that's just like cancer. And it starts spreading.

And in the biblical sense, the root of bitterness is when a tree is infected with a fungal infection and it goes down the roots.

And not only does it go down and spreads to the roots, but if there are any other roots of other trees, the fungus will spread to the other trees.

And sometimes a whole forest can be destroyed.

So this is why you bring it to the church. There has to be a resolution involved. Here it continues on. This leads us to two very important questions. Who is the church and how does the church deal with the matter?

This paper answers both questions in the next two sections.

First, however, it is important to recognize that when a matter covered by this Matthew 18 formula is brought to the church, the ministry will ask the one bringing the complaint if he or she has gone to his or her brother first.

So a minister should just jump in. Maybe a person erroneously goes to the minister first.

And the minister needs to say, well, have you gone privately first? And sometimes a person says, no, I didn't. He says, well, please go first.

Practice this. We don't want the authority to get involved at that stage, but deal with it at a lower stage between the two of you. Or if you need to bring some witnesses, deal with it. So it's constantly trying to keep things as private, as confidential, and as limited as possible.

It says, if the person hasn't, the ministry will encourage the plaintiff or the accuser to seek private reconciliation following Christ's instruction.

This is essential before the church gets involved in the matter. And unfortunately, sometimes the church got involved and it became a big problem when it could have been solved at a much lower and a much more confined level. That's why all of us need to go through this. And by the way, this applies in your home, at work, wherever you go. You've got some offended worker. But don't go up to the boss about that, because then maybe the boss will go talk to the worker. The worker gets offended with you and you've lost the good relationship. And maybe the worker starts saying, look, this person went and snitched on me or whatever. So these are practical principles that also apply in the family. I think this is one of the principles we work with our children from the very start. We didn't punish them in front of the other girls if we had to discipline them in some way. And we talk with them. And it seemed afterwards it was hardly ever the case, because they knew what the rules were. Continuing on, it says, there are some exceptions, though. For certain sins like known or suspected sexual misconduct by an adult with a child, the ministry must be brought in immediately to protect children, parents, and the church.

There are other times when it is appropriate, necessary for a member or minister to take an offense or evidence of wrongdoing directly to the church. These would be occasions in which the offense is not directly personal but flows from a breach of duty or responsibility that affects a wider group.

While it may be an offense to the individual who witnesses it, it is also a sin against the church itself.

It says, for example, the ministry and the church's administrative officers function within carefully prescribed parameters.

Their duties and ethics are spelled out not only in the Bible but in various governing documents. These are further defined by codes of ethics and job descriptions. The church will normally assume that these expectations are being met.

When they are violated and someone finds out that person should take the facts directly to the church officials before the problem can be spread.

This does not exclude going to the offender in private to point out the problem.

However, such a case does not require the same process as a personal offense against an individual. The teaching of heresy or of insurrection. Somebody is trying to divide the church, take people out of the church.

For example, it is not something the member should be expected to resolve privately. It is already within the church's prerogative to deal with such an apparent conduct.

However, there are exceptions and the Matthew 18 formula applies in most cases. So, like we said, sometimes it doesn't rise to this level.

So, how does the church deal with the matter?

It says, but if he refuses even to hear, the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector. The goal is still the same. Reconciliation of all individuals. Jesus addresses only the scenario in which the party judge to be guilty does not repent and reconcile.

It is understood that if he did, once again, the other individual would have, quote, gained his brother and the matter would be put to rest. But if the two parties fail in their efforts, Christ is clearly saying that either or both parties may request a judgment by the church. He shows that the judgment may lead to a change in the guilty party's status in the church. In fact, Christ requires that brethren treat a corrected but still unrepentant brother, quote, like a heathen and a tax collector, as if he is no longer part of the fellowship of the saints. This principle is evident in many biblical examples of discipline within the church for the purpose of maintaining unity and peace.

If the guilty individual is not willing to accept righteous judgment, not willing to repent and reconcile, then he cannot participate in the fellowship of the church. His behavior and attitude would be a negative influence on others and be of no profit to him either.

So those are, again, the principles. And let's go on to explain a little bit about who is the church. In this context, it says the context of this passage helps us understand. In the next verse, verse 18, Jesus said, Matthew Pools' commentary explains, Christ had given such a power to his apostles. And then the paper goes on to further explain this point, but I think it's quite clear. And this last point on page 10 of the paper, it says, Even so, all parties are expected to go in peace and not so discord among brethren. In any case, the ministry will counsel toward reconciliation and peace.

This does not mean that the relationship will always be restored to close friendship and trust. Scriptures show that, quote, If the offending party does repent of sin or apologizes for offense, even when no sin is evident, then the offended party is expected to forgive and be reconciled. If the offended one clings to his hurt and refuses to reconcile, he may become the one who must receive discipline from the church, particularly if he gossips and sows discord. As in all cases of judgment and discipline in the United Church of God, there is an appeal process open to the brethren and elders alike. And so, there is a way to deal with things when you have to appeal the situation. I want to focus on when you're dealing with those in authority, and you have something that you need to bring up, the person has offended you or sinned in some way against you or others. Sometimes because of authority, there can be the reluctance to deal with it. The person might feel they're going to be blackballed. But still, you should practice Matthew 18 when possible, in private and with respect. In this book called The Peacemaker, page 152, 156, rather, 156, it says, going to a person in authority, it says, your responsibility to go to someone who is caught in sin does not vanish just because a person is in a position of authority over you. For instance, an employer or a church elder, since these people are as human as you are, they will also sin and need correction. 1 Timothy 5, 19-20. Of course, you may need to exercise special care in choosing your words when you talk with such a person. Speak in a respectful manner and do all you can to affirm your regard for that person's authority. In doing so, you may not only encourage needed changes, but also increase that person's respect for you. Notice 1 Samuel 25, 23-35, the situation with David, where Saul, his adversary, actually praised David for the way he had handled things.

So, in the church, if you can't go to your minister for some reason, there is the regional pastor or a church administration, and there is what we call the MAC member appeal committee that can deal with a case.

And sometimes, the person rather desires to avoid confrontation, maybe change areas if there is another church that the person feels more comfortable in. Sometimes that is an option as well.

That happens with members and it happens among members or dealing with ministers. Let's go to James 3 to finish. James 3, verse 13.

And I hope we are able to apply this before the Passover comes, so we can come with a clean heart and a clean conscience before God the Father and Jesus Christ.

So, in James 3, verse 13, it says, This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic, for where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. Now, the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. In other words, peacemakers. That's what the message is all about, and I hope this has been helpful to deal with these difficult situations we face from time to time.