The Characteristics of a Godly Father

I'd like to thank Sheri very much for special music today. That's always a very moving number.

Wanted to make one clarification. My wife informed me I made a mistake. That's the first one in our marriage. But I mentioned Mark and Connie asked us to pray for their son. Actually, it's Mark. We're being asked to pray for. And I don't know where I got son from.

Should read what's written. And so just wanted to make sure I clarified that.

Recent article that I found concerning fathers was titled, Report says fathers are non-essential. This is by Justin Torres, writing for CNS staff writer.

Says an article in a leading psychology journal reports that the presence of a father and families raising children is non-essential and that fathers may be detrimental to the child and to the mother. The report in the current issue of the American Psychologist, the Journal of the American Psychological Association, recently in hot water over an earlier report that concluded that child sexual abuse did not cause pervasive harm, takes aim at the notion that father and two parent heterosexual marriages are necessary for the psychological health of the children. So you can almost immediately get the orientation from where these people are coming from. We do not believe that the data supports the conclusion that fathers are essential to child's well-being and that heterosexual marriage is the social context in which responsible fathering is most likely to occur, wrote Drs. Louis B. Silverstein and Carl F. Arbach, both from the Yes Haiva University, in an article titled Deconstructing the Essential Father. The report appears in the June 1999 issue of the journal. In fact, having a father present in a family situation may be detrimental to the child to the mother, said the author, given what they call the male tendency to consume resources in terms of gambling, purchasing alcohol, cigarettes, other non-essential commodities, which increases women's workload and stress. The authors deconstruct several notions about fatherhood and marriage that they labeled as neo-conservative, including the importance of the male role model on boys, they say that's not important at all, civilizing effect of marriage on men, and unique paternal contributions to child rearing. Also, the authors conclude that divorce does not irretrievably harm the majority of children, and any harmful effect of divorce are related more to economic factors, such as the loss of the father's income, rather than the absence of the father. The idea that a male role model is important in raising boys is also contested in the report in the assumption that single mothers have a difficult time raising boys alone is attributed to, quote, the larger cultural context of male dominance and negative attitude towards women. So, that's the only problem. Within the patriarchal culture, boys know that when they become adult men, they will be dominant to every woman, including their mother, according to the article. They really haven't discussed that with my wife, I don't think. It says the author also questioned what they called the privilege of heterosexual marriages, saying that one, none, or both of the adults that have a consistent relationship with a child could be male or female, related or not, without significant psychological harm. So, you can get a glimpse of where they're going, you know, in this report.

Our goal, the authors concluded, is to create an ideology that defines the father-child bond as independent of the father-mother relationship. That means outside of marriage, that it doesn't have to be in the context of marriage. Then they go on giving a number of things that they wish to do. It says to achieve the goal of eradicating the social customs, whereby fathering is inexorably entwined with marriage, or to become a father, you don't have to be married, is what they're saying.

The authors recommend, and then they go on recommending, you know, daycare and all of the normal programs. Well, what you find, brethren, in the western world especially, fatherhood is under attack.

Who is it who wants to destroy the family? Especially the idea of the family and the concept of father or fatherhood. Well, I think today we'll see that there is a conspiracy to destroy the family. And I think we'll find that Satan is the unseen influence behind this, and you can see his approach very much, his footprints out there in society.

We want to see the terrible effect that this has, actually, on families and children. What would a godly father actually look like? How would a godly father act?

Why does Satan hate the family? Why does he hate fathers? Why has he tried to pervert the family structure ever since man was put on the earth? Well, to get a little glimpse, let's go back to 2 Corinthians 6, in verses 17 and 18 in our Bible, 2 Corinthians 6. And we'll begin to read in verse 17.

God here, talking about coming out of this world, he says, Therefore, come out from among them, and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you. And I will be a father to you, and you shall be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty. So what you find when it comes to the church, God is looked upon as being a father. When we become converted, when you and I receive the Holy Spirit, we become as sons and daughters. We are begotten by God's Spirit, and we become a part of His family. The relationship between God and humans is a family relationship. Christ is described as our older brother. He refers to us, back in Hebrews 1 and 2, as brethren, our brothers.

God is looked upon as a father. We are called His sons and His daughters.

Now what you find is that Satan wants to hide the fact that you and I can be a part of the family of God. Now in the Bible, that word hide is called in the scripture to blind the eyes or to deceive the heart. That's exactly what Satan the devil has done. As Revelation 12, 9 says, he's deceived the whole world. He has blinded the minds of people to the truth of God. And so he is hidden from the world the fact that God is actually producing children. He is creating a family.

He has perverted the idea of God being a family, and he substituted for a family the concept of the Trinity. You don't find the Trinity in the scripture. The Trinity says that God is somehow three persons in one. It's a closed unit. Nobody can have access to it. But yet God is wanting to share His family, the kingdom of God, with us. In Hebrews 2 and verse 10, you find described in this one verse God's overall plan and purpose for the human family. Hebrews chapter 2 and verse 10, says, where it was fitting for Him, for whom are all things, and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons to glory. So God's plan and purpose is that He would bring many sons to glory to make the captain of their salvation perfect through suffering.

So God wants to bring us into His family, and not just in the state we are now, but as sons who are glorified, and that you and I are to be transformed. Now, Satan cannot do this. He is not God. He cannot beget children. He cannot have a true family relationship like God can. And so, therefore, he hates God and His plan. And yet, you read back in John 8, 44, something that seems to contradict this. In John 8 and verse 44, you read this. Christ talking to the religious leaders, Jews of His day, He says, you are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning. It does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in Him. And when He speaks a lie, He speaks of His own resources, for He is a liar and the father of it. So, I want you to notice here, it says, you are of your father the devil.

How is Satan a father? Can he beget children? Can he reproduce himself and have other little devils?

Running around a race of devils? He is a father in the sense of his influence.

He influences the whole world to be like him, to mimic his attitude, to mimic his approach, as it says here. He is a liar and the father of it. In other words, a father is one who generates things. A father will generate a family. And through the sperm cell being planted into an egg within a woman's body, you find a new life is created. So, Satan the devil is the one who originated lying. And when Christ looked at those leaders of His day, and He looked at their attitudes, He said, you are of your father because you personify him. And his attitude is there.

Now, Matthew 22, verse 30, Christ shows very clearly that Satan the devil cannot imitate, cannot do what God does. God is able to give us His Spirit, and He is able to beget us by that Spirit. But notice in chapter 22 here in verse 30 of Matthew, Christ had been asked a question about, you know, who would this woman be married to, married seven times in the resurrection.

And in verse 29, He answered, you are mistaken, not knowing the Scripture nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are they given in marriage, but are like angels of God in heaven. So, the implication is that angels don't marry. They're not given in marriage.

They don't have children. They don't have little angels. You don't have little angels running around, baby angels. Each angel was a separate creation by God. You didn't have a man-angel and a girl-angel, and the two got together and they produced a race of angels. That's not how they came about. They were all separate creations by God Almighty. God begets us with His Spirit. That Spirit unites with the Spirit in man, and a new life begins, a spiritual life. And so, when we pray to God as our Father, we're not just doing that out of ritual. We're doing that because God truly is our spiritual Father. He is created, or is creating Himself within us. Now, you find that Satan can possess people. He can control them, but he cannot beget them. He cannot resurrect a man and make him immortal and make him a spirit being. Only God can do that. In 1 Timothy 6, just as a reminder here, 1 Timothy 6, verse 15. You notice what Paul reveals about God. 1 Timothy 6, verse 15. It says, Which he will manifest in his own time, he who is the blessed and only potentate, the King of kings, and Lord of lords, who alone has immortality, dwelling in unapproachable light, whom no man can see, or has seen, or can't see, to whom be honor and everlasting power. Amen.

So, you find that God alone possesses immortality. It is not something that He has shared with the angels, but it is something that He will share with us. Back in 1 Corinthians 15, 1 Corinthians 15, verse 52, we read here about the resurrection to eternal life. It says, In a moment, the twinkling of an eye at the last trumpet, for the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. So, you and I can have immortality.

So, when this corruptible is put on incorruption, and this mortal is put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory.

See, this is something that Satan cannot do. Only God can. This is one reason why Satan hates God, because God is a Father. He is envious of God. He is filled with pride.

Notice Satan's influence on those who profess to be Christians today. I'd like to quote from a presentation by a man by the name of David Hoke, H-O-K-E. What he had to say about this, sort of a commentary on the social settings today, the cultural approach, especially toward religion, it says, There are some today who would like to make the Bible gender neutral. They'd like to remove all references to God as Father. God in their edited version would become our divine parent. O our divine parent who art in heaven, hallowed be your name.

They wouldn't say Father, instead of referring to Him as our heavenly Father.

This foolishness has gone far enough that there are those who literally do translations of the Bible and they substitute words like this instead of Father. Now, he goes on to say, Do you think that it's an accident that God has been revealed to us as Father?

Is it because of the patriarchal society that existed in the times that the Bible was written, the male imagery was used? Is that the only reason that God is referred to as a male? And you know, in that sense, could it be that God actually wants to be known as a Father? There is no doubt in my mind that He does. To think that God would deny the truth of who He is to accommodate the thinking of a culture is to accuse God of duplicity. To assign the reason God is known as a Father to the mistaken assumption of the biblical writers is to deny the total inspiration of the Bible. No, God intentionally revealed Himself as a Father.

Because He is a Father. Now, who came to reveal the Father?

The Son. Jesus Christ came and He revealed that My Father is greater than I am. He said, When you pray, say, Our Father, which art in heaven. And He constantly said, My Father is greater. And He talked about His Father. So you find that Jesus Christ has revealed the Father.

He goes on to say, God intentionally revealed Himself as a Father because He is a Father. Father reveals something of His nature, His character, something that He wants us to understand.

We live in an age where fatherhood has been depreciated. There is no doubt that the traditional understanding of the family is under constant attack today. From the homosexuals and lesbians who advocate same-sex marriage to the widespread acceptance of unwed motherhood is normal, we have seen the traditional family take severe and heavy shelling. There is a warfare going on.

The radical feminists would have us believe that the real problem in society is men, especially white-angle-sex men. To them, the idea of a traditional family headed by a father is a setback for women and for society. Robert Griswold, Associate Professor of History and of Women's Study at the University of Oklahoma, says in his book, Fatherhood in America, a History, There is a debate in society today over the Father's role.

Fatherhood has lost its cultural coherence. It is no longer clear what we want, what we expect, from fathers. Many young men grow up not knowing definite ideas about what a father should be like.

You and I need to be very clear about what the role of the father is and the influence of a father. Satan wants to blur the fact that God created us male and female. He didn't create us neutral. We're male, we are female, and we were created to be husbands and wives, fathers and mothers. The devil wants everybody to be the same. You might remember there was a movement a few years ago where men and women were dressing alike, same type of haircuts, wore the same clothes, and you couldn't really tell a difference. And today, sometimes, it's very hard to tell a difference. I've dreamt down the road before, and I'm sure you've done this before, see this beautiful blonde in the car and go by, and she's got a mustache. And you know, see her face? He is ugly! And so you can never know sometimes about a person. Can you remember when men were men and looked like men? A time when women were the ones who wore earrings and makeup? Various studies conducted by Yale, Johns Hopkins, and other groups have documented the following. The absence of a father is a strong factor, a stronger factor than poverty in contributing to juvenile delinquency. In 48 cultures around the world, the crime rates were the highest among adults who, as children, had been raised solely by women. Closeness with parents was a common factor in preventing hypertension, coronary heart disease, malignant tumors, mental illness, and suicides. A study of 30, 19-aged girls suffering from anorexic nervosa showed that 36 of them had a common denominator, 36 out of 39. They lacked a closeness with a father. And emotionally, our physically absent father contributes to a child's, and this is from these studies, low motivation for achievement is just not really motivated, doesn't have the drive to achieve. Now, we know that that's not true in every case. I mean, always find exceptions, but we're talking here about general trends that you find. Number two, the inability to defer immediate gratification for later rewards. Gotta have it, and gotta have it now. Low self-esteem, and force acceptability to group influence in juvenile delinquency.

Easily influenced by those who are their peers and those who are around us.

Well, brethren, God the Father is the perfect example of what a father should be like.

So today, we want to take a look at how God deals with us and see what a father should be like, what you and I should be like.

So let's take a look first of all.

God is able to express genuine love.

He's able to express it and to show it. We love and we accept our children. God loves us.

And the Bible says He loved us so much, what was He willing to do?

That He gave His only begotten Son.

So we find that God loves us to the point that He was willing to sacrifice His Son.

Back in 1 John 4, we'll begin in verse 7.

1 John 4, verse 7, It says, Beloved, let us not love one another, or excuse me, Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God.

And everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.

He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. See, this is the very makeup of God. That God is love.

And you and I learn about love from God.

It says, In this the love of God was manifested towards us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him.

In this is love, not that we love God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. So you and I are to exemplify, demonstrate that same love, the same love that God has for His family, for the human race, that we are to show that same love towards one another. And then verse 19, We love Him because He first loved us.

And so you'll find that we have the love.

So God is able to express genuine love, a godly love, a depth of love, that our minds can't even begin to comprehend.

We tend to love on the human level, and we love according to those who love us, our own. And it's very difficult for us to have the type of love that God has. But through His Spirit, God gives us that love, and you and I are to be developing it. Romans 5 and verse 6 shows how God express His love for us.

And Romans chapter 5 and verse 6 says, For when we were still without strength in due time, Christ died for us, or for the ungodly.

For scarcely for a righteous man will one die, yet perhaps for a good man, someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love towards us.

Here is a demonstration of God's love.

In that while we were still sinners, while we still disobeyed, Christ died for us. And so this is pointed out in the Scriptures as how God expresses His love. His love is unconditional. He loves us. He doesn't love our sins. But He loves us. He knows that we're human. He also knows that we're weak. And He has pity on us.

I'd like to quote from another article. This actually appeared in the Chattanooga Free Press last year, May 30th. It was titled, Father Figures Teach Boys the Notion of Manhood.

And the article is by Michael Barber.

It says, To the surprise of game rangers, a gang of delinquent young male elephants began attacking and killing white rhinoceroses at South Africa's Palensburg Park in the 1990s. At first, the rangers thought poachers might be responsible for the killings. But since the horns of the dead rhinos weren't being touched, they ruled out that possibility.

When rangers discovered the young male elephants were responsible, by that time 39 rhinos had been killed. Ten percent of the park's rhino population. They were baffled because that kind of elephant behavior is not typical. After researching the issue, the rangers realized the elephants, causing the problems, were orphans who had been transplanted from another park when they were young because the park had too many elephants. The solution? The rangers brought in some large bull elephants from Kruger National Park, who quickly established their dominance and put the rambunctious unruly young male elephants in their place.

After the big bull elephants arrived in 1998, no more rhinos were killed. They brought a little order to the place, according to a story about the elephants on CBS News.

Florida author and lecturer Mark Perlman uses the elephant story as an example of the instinctive need boys have for male role models. Perlman authored a program titled Nurturing Fathers, which is being used in 46 states across the country to help men learn to be better dads.

Fathers have a powerful influence on their sons in many ways. Now, this is contrary to the original article I read to you. One of the most significant is showing them the difference between acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Perlman said, only a father or a true father figure can teach what it means to be a male or what it means to be a father. That comes directly from male or the male lineage. Statistics seem to back up Perlman's contingents. Studies show boys who grew up in a father-athson home are several times more likely to engage in high-risk behavior such as truancy, drugs and crimes, and less likely to exhibit empathy, healthy self-esteem, and pro-social behavior. One of the stories I heard a lot as I traveled around is that men look to other males for role models, and sometimes they look to the wrong people. And I think we see a lot of that going on in our society. They may look to men selling drugs on the street corner or to gangs or to gang members. Michael Conner, a professor emeritus at California State University in Long Beach, has been studying the impact and importance of fathers since his graduate school studies. Or days in the early 1970s. Conner taught a course taught of fathers and fathering since 1975.

Young men, he said, who look to incompetent or uncaring role models are a lot like those wild teenage elephants in South Africa, according to Conners. What they learn from their peers, gangs, and sports figures is that manhood is about being hard, not nurturing. In other words, you got to be tough. You got to show that you're a man by shooting somebody, beating somebody up.

These are the things that go on in gangs. In being willing to fight, those young men tend to exhibit boorish behavior and a lack of respect for authority figures, for elders, for women and others. They have a lack of respect for normal everyday decorum. How often do you hear rappers belittling, putting down, berating women, calling them every foul name you can think of, and you're not having respect for them? Connor and Perlman said, prisons are filled with such men. They both said statistics show that 80 to 90 percent of men in U.S. prisons grew up in a father absent home. I think that's a startling statistic. 80 to 90 percent. Many of these men in prison are very bright but terribly misguided, Connor said. They tend not to have a viable notion of what a man is, and if they don't know what a man is, how can they know what it takes to be a good father? Male role models don't have to be the biological fathers to be a success as a dad. A lot of men who are biological fathers may be present in the home, but they are not engaged with their children because of work or other reasons, so therefore they are also absent fathers. We find that a lot in our society. A real father is a competent adult male who provides consistent nurturing, care, and support of his children. Connor says social fathers can be uncles, grandfathers, close friends, or other males who provide a constant positive presence in a boy's life. We desperately need to get men to understand that being a father is not a weekend commitment. It is a lifetime role. It is something that goes on for a lifetime. When asked how long a successful father needs to stay involved in his son's life, Connor says, forever. Forever. The real key, Connor said, and this ties in with the point I'm making here about God, is to convey the notion that real men take care of their children. They bring them into the world, not just financially, but emotionally and socially. I would suggest that the most masculine thing that a man can do is to raise and love his children. Connor said, nothing else comes close to that. So to rear your children and to love them, and to set the right example before them. So what he is saying is what I've been reading here about this first point, that God is love and he's able to express genuine love. How many of us have grown up in homes where our father wasn't able to express to us that he loved us, or that he appreciated, or that he expressed that all the time? Well, that should be something that both parents are able to express to their children. They tell their children, and not only just tell them, but they show them by their actions and how they deal with them, and how they do love them.

In 1 Thessalonians 2, verses 7 and 8, let's notice this scripture, 1 Thessalonians 2, beginning in verse 7, the Apostle Paul says, But we were gentle among you, as a nursing mother cherishes her own children.

So affectionately longing for you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives, because you had become dear to us. Now, notice how this is translated in the NIV translation. Verse 7, But we were gentle among you, like a mother carrying her little children. Then Paul went on to say, as a minister, We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God, but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.

And so you'll find that once you become a parent, husband or mother, your dad or mom, that you have to share your life, you have to show that love. In the original language, the words express an intensity of love that gives over and over. It's not just a one-time deal, but it's something that is a constant giving of the self to the object of your love. Now in verse 9, it says, For you remember, brethren, our labor and toll, for laboring night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you.

We preach to you the gospel of God. And how many times have you found that husbands, fathers, have had to take extra jobs to work to support their family and willing to work hard to provide for their family? But in so doing, you cannot neglect your children. You see, there has to be a balance in there. You are witnesses, and God also, how devoutly and justly and blamelessly we behaved ourselves among you, who believe.

As you know, how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children. So you find that a father exhorts and comforts and charges and loves his children. And so here you find God is an example of that. Paul was an example of that. And so you find you and I are to be that way. So a proper father is able to share and show genuine love for his children. Secondarily, a father encourages his children. He is able to inspire his children, motivate his children, and exhort his children.

Don Benson, in his book, The Total Man, tells how one survey reveals that parents average 10 negative comments to their children for every positive one, as an average. Yet, Benson observed, experts in child psychology believe that it takes at least four positive remarks to offset the damage caused by just one negative comment.

So the moral of the story is that sometimes we as parents spend more time telling our children what they did wrong or failed to be, rather than what they did right and what they can do. That we should encourage them, exhort them. Now that doesn't mean we don't correct them. We'll get to that. But there is a time that we need to inspire and try to encourage them. Ephesians 4 and verse 29. Ephesians chapter 4 and verse 29, we find here about God, or actually the way that we should be, says, let no corrupt words proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification or for building up, that it may impart grace to the hearers.

So you and I should try to edify, try to build our children up. And it's chapter 6, right across the page here in my Bible, chapter 6. Verse 1 says, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for that is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth. And you fathers do not provoke your children to wrath, for bring them up in the training and the admonition of the Lord. So a father is going to train his children.

He's going to bring them up in the admonition of God. But as it says here, try not to provoke them. Now, it doesn't mean that when you correct the child that he might not get upset. I'm not saying that. But sometimes you find that we can provoke them because we're not encouraging them in the way that we should.

3. Thirdly, a father is able or should comfort and support his children.

Comfort and support. Back up to 2 Corinthians chapter 1.

2 Corinthians chapter 1, and we'll begin to read here in verse 3. 3. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort. So we find that God comforts. He is the God of all comfort and mercy, who comforts us in all of our tribulations that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. And then it goes on to talk here about how we are to encourage other people. So a father should be one who encourages his children, not discourage them and supports them. Let me give you a story. It's a true story of a young girl. I'll just call her by the name Amy.

Amy remembered the very first time that this happened to her. She was five years old. There was a thunderstorm outside. Lightning was cracking. Thunder was roaring and it was raining. Outside her bedroom window, she woke up in the middle of the night and she was frightened of the dark. She was frightened of the thunder and the lightning. And she leaped out of her bed and ran crying into her parents' bedroom. She patted up to the side of her mother and started crying softly. Crying softly for her mother, shaking her, asking her to respond. And before she could respond, her father woke up and he yelled, what are you doing in here? He was angry at her.

And, get back in your own room. Well, Amy said, Daddy, I'm scared. And she started crying harder. And he said, I don't want to hear that from you anymore. Stop crying. You're a big girl. It's time you started acting like a big girl. Get back in your room.

Well, Amy shot a pleading glance at her mother, who just sort of looked down and didn't say anything. And he said, Get back in bed. I don't want to see you again. Don't bother us again. Well, Amy left her parents' bedroom, walked to the bathroom, turned the light on, locked the door, and sat in the bathtub all night. And as she grew up, every time there was a lightning and thunderstorm, Amy went to the bathroom, sat in the bathtub, and locked the door. She did that for about 10 years until she was able to get over it.

Well, she got over her fear of thunderstorms, but she still suffers the results of a lack of comfort, lack of encouragement from her father. They never did know really what she did or what she was up to. The results can be devastating to a child. According to Dr. David Ferguson and Dr. Don Mackman of the Center for Marriage and Family Intimacy, a person whose needs for comfort and support is not being met is likely to feel discouraged, alone, empty, and timid. Such a person is prone to promiscuity, fear of failure, weariness toward life, and an obsessive, compulsive orientation. A young person who doesn't experience a father's comfort and support will find it more difficult to handle feelings of insecurity and withstand unhealthy peer pressure. They may may have experienced trouble forming healthy relationships, and they are more likely to succumb to the pressure to become sexually active in an effort to meet those emotional needs.

But on the positive side, a young person who does receive a father's comfort and support is more likely to feel loved, grateful, and hopeful, and to grow up to be a caring, compassionate, positive, giving, sensitive person with self-confidence. So it's important that we, again, show the proper comfort and encouragement toward our children. Notice Psalm 34, verses 17 through 18. Psalm 34, 17 through 18. Here we find David expressing his love and concern for God. It says, The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, is verse 17, and delivers them out of their troubles. So when they cry out and they're afraid, when you go to God and you're afraid, God doesn't say, shut up and go back to bed, I don't want to hear you. God listens. The Lord is near to those with a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit. So God is a God of empathy and concern. Isaiah 49, verse 13. Isaiah 49, verse 13.

It says, Sing, O heavens, be joyful, O earth, and break out in singing, O mountains. For the Lord has comforted his people, and will have mercy, or as it can be, will have compassion on the afflicted. So God is able to comfort us. And as we've already read back in 2 Corinthians 1, verses 3 and 4, God is a God of a Father of all mercies, God of all comfort, and he comforts us when we're going through our problems. God extends comfort to all of us in our trouble. He comforts and supports us when we suffer persecution for his name's sake, when we suffer the consequences of our own stupid behavior, a lot of times. He comforts us when we deserve it the least. He even comforts us when we are trapped in a mess of our own making. He supports us when we're weak. He comforts us when we fall. That's the kind of Father we all should want to be like. You know, God is a God of comfort, and a God who strengthens and encourages.

Now, another point is that God is a Father who also disciplines. God will discipline us. God is good. He's a loving God. He's a perfect Father. His intentions and his actions are never evil or unloving, and yet he disciplines his children. He does not discipline us in spite of his goodness. He disciplines us because of his goodness. Remember Deuteronomy 8 in verse 5, Deuteronomy 8, 5, You should know in your heart that as a man chastens his son, so the Lord your God chastens you.

So God will chasten us. He will correct us. Why? For our good. Proverbs 3 verse 12 tells us, Proverbs chapter 3 and verse 12, For whom the Lord loves, he corrects, just as a father the son, in whom he delights. So if you delight in your son or your children, you will correct them.

The man who disciplines his children correctly is reflecting the character of God. Now put the emphasis on correctly.

Now question, why do we correct our children? Why should anyone correct his children?

Well, I think the best way to answer that is to let the Scriptures answer it.

Proverbs 13, 24, He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly. So if you hate your children, you're not going to correct them, but if you love them, you'll discipline them. Hebrews 12 verse 7, Hebrews chapter 12 and verse 7, If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons. For what son is there whom a father does not chasten?

But if you're without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you're an illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we've had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect.

Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the father of spirits and live? For they, indeed, for a few days chastened us, and verse 10, as it seemed best for them, but he for our prophet. So why does God correct us? For our prophet, that we may be partakers of his holiness, so that we can become like God. Now, no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful, nevertheless, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who've been trained by it.

I've yet to have one of my sons that I've ever corrected or spanked in the past when I'm spanking them say, oh, thank you, thank you, I needed that, great, give me a little more, not spanking me hard enough, I'm not learning the lesson. No, I mean, they start bawling. In fact, we had some of our sons, we had learned this, that some of them you could spank and spank and they would never cry.

Others you could look at them cross-eyed and they'd break into tears. And so you think, well, they're getting the lesson. No, they just cry easier. And so doing, sometimes you would tend to slack off instead of saying, well, no, you deserve this. Well, you find when a child is being corrected, it's painful. When you and I are being corrected, it's painful, but afterwards it is the righteous fruits, the character that is developed in a person. You and I discipline because we love our children. That's why. We teach them responsibility and we teach them the wrong actions have negative consequences. They have to learn that doing the wrong thing is going to lead in the wrong way and to help them start living right. So they can live in the right way, teach them the direction of life that they should be going in, the principles and the laws to live by. Now, the question is, how do you go about correcting your children? Well, you do it out of love and not out of anger. Now, the Bible says the Lord disciplines those He loves. We all get angry. I've gotten so angry at my children. That's not the best time to be correcting them. You know, walk away, come back, and you know, when you're a little cooler and then you can meet out the punishment in the proper way. So you correct, but not in anger.

Secondarily, you communicate the rules to them clearly so that they know exactly what is expected. You clearly teach them. You make sure they know the rules and you know, make sure they know what will happen if they're going to break those rules.

If you do such and such, this is going to happen to you. And you got to make sure that it does happen if you said it was. And then thirdly, you have to make sure the punishment fits the crime.

Make sure the punishment fits the crime. Sometimes I've seen parents spank a child who makes a childlike mistake. You know, they do something, knock something over. Well, you're clumsy. You know, you're careless and bang, bang, bang. Yet a child can stand there and defy them.

And you know, they sort of get away with it or maybe a couple of swats. Well, what you find, direct defiance should have a greater penalty than a childlike mistake. So, what you have to realize in correction is this. The child has to know that you love them. And you tell them, I love you, but I'm still going to spank you or I'm going to correct you, whatever the correction might be. And then you communicate and you tell them what they did wrong, why it was wrong. And you're going to show them the penalty. And this is going to be the penalty from here on out. And you go ahead and mete out whatever the punishment is.

So, a father disciplines. But a father is also one who is a refuge.

That a child can go to his father or his mother and take refuge there. Psalm 57 and verse 1. Psalm 57 and verse 1.

It says, Be merciful to me, O God. Be merciful to me. For my soul trusts in you in the shadow of your wings. I will take my refuge. Go there for protection until these calamities have passed by. Children should know that there's safety at home. There's protection at home. That their family, their father and their mother are going to provide for them, going to feed them and clothe them and take care of them and provide the support for them.

Psalm 18 verses 1 through 2. Also says, I will love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress. So you can run to that fortress and you can take shelter there, my deliverer, my God, my strength, in whom I will trust, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. What this means, like God, our children should be able to come and trust in us. The worst thing that can happen to a child is to be abused and misused by a parent and to destroy that trust that should be there. We need to be able to pick them up and help them run the race of life. Our children are going to mature and as they mature they're going to move on out on their own and they have to be prepared to run life and live life, have their own families, and hopefully know God and go his way. I'd like to close with an illustration that I think illustrates this.

Many of you may remember this. My wife and I watched this. I forget if we saw it live. Many of you may remember this. My wife and I watched this. I forget if we saw it live or just reruns of it. But 1992 Olympics in Barcelona featured a very memorable moment in sports history.

Derek Redmond of Great Britain was on his way to fulfilling a lifelong dream of winning a gold medal at the Olympics. He had earned a spot in the semifinals of the 400-meter race and as the guns sounded he started the race. He got off to a great start. He was running the race of his life. He came around the last bend. He was within sight of the finish line when suddenly he felt a stab of pain in his right leg. He fell face first to the track with a torn hamstring. His race was over.

He struggled to his feet and before the medical team could reach him, even though every runner had passed him, he began hopping toward the finish line. Tears of pain, tears of disappointment streaking his face. He was determined to finish the race.

Suddenly, a man plowed through the security guards on the sidelines and ran out onto the track.

He raised up to Derek, hugged him, and said, you don't have to do this.

Jim Redmond told his weeping son, yes, I do, Derek answered. Well, then his father said, we're going to finish the race together. Derek's father gripped his son around the shoulder, and they faced the finish line and routinely waved off the security men, who hovered around and they limped and hopped together. Derek's head, a lot of the time, was on his father's, there in his father's shoulder. He stayed in the lane all the way to the end. He finished the race. The watching crowd gasped at first at the unusual scene, then one by one they rose to their feet and they began to cheer and to cry at the son's determination and the father's support. I'll never forget that, you know, because, as I said, we saw that particular race and it was so moving to see the father and son, the son was determined to cross that finish line. Well, brethren, God wants us to cross the finish line. He wants us in his kingdom. He's our father and he will go the last mile with us. He will be there to support us and one of the meanings of the word comforter in the Bible is one who comes alongside and who gives aid. Brethren, God will do that for us. We need to make sure that his parents, and especially talking to fathers today, that we are like God the Father in every way and that we show our children the same support, the same comfort, and the same love.