The Important Role of Fathers

Fathers. We have annually in this country, Mother's Day, Father's Day. I'd like to quote from a recent article. It's by Justin Torres, staff writer for CNS, and the title of the article is, Fathers are Non-Essential. So, the article is a summary of what came out in a leading psychology journal. It says, an article in a leading psychology journal reports that the presence of fathers and families raising children is non-essential. So all of you fellas who have children, you're non-essential. And fathers may be detrimental to the child and the mother. It says, the report in the current issue of the American Psychologist, the Journal of the American Psychological Association, recently in hot water over an earlier report that concluded that child sexual abuse did not cause harm, pervasive harm, but the same at the notion that fathers and two-parent heterosexual marriages are necessary for the psychological health of the child. Then it goes on to say, the authors deconstruct several notions about fatherhood and marriage that they label as neoconservative, including the importance of the male role model on boys, the civilizing effect of marriage on men, and the unique parental contribution to child rearing. Also, the authors conclude that divorce does not irretrievably harm the majority of children. And any harmful effects of divorces are related more to economic factors than anything else, they say. The idea that a male role model is important in raising boys is also contested in the report, and the assumption that a single mother, mothers, have a difficult time raising boys alone is attributed largely to cultural contexts of male dominance and negative attitudes towards women. Within patriarchal cultures, boys know that when they become adult men, they will dominate every woman, including their mothers, according to the article. The author also questions what they call the privilege of heterosexual marriage, saying that one, none, or both of the adults that have a consistent relationship with a child could be male or female related or not without any significant psychological harm. So, in other words, a very crafted way of saying homosexuality and lesbianism is okay. Our goal, the author concluded, is to create an ideology that defines the father-child bond as independent of the father-mother bond. So, the idea of this study, which comes out in Psychology Magazine, is to state that you don't need what we would know as a normal family relationship in order to rear children.

In the Western world, I think we understand that fatherhood is under attack. Who is it who wants to destroy the idea of a family, especially the concept of fatherhood? Well, let's go back and read in the book of Genesis, Genesis chapter 1, verse 27. Let's find out who is it who created the family unit. And when he created the family unit, what did he say about it? Well, let's notice in Genesis chapter 1, and we'll begin to read in verse 27. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him, male and female he created them. And God blessed them, and God said to them, notice, be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, subdue it, have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and over everything that moves on the earth. And so you'll find God is the one who made us male and female. God commanded, be fruitful, and multiply. So what does that mean? Well, it means become fathers and mothers, is what it means. And when you be fruitful and multiply, it's talking about, you know, having children. Now in chapter 2 and verse 24, God, if you'll remember, took a rib and part of the flesh of Adam, made Eve. And in verse 24, it says, therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Now this was done through the marital relationship. You'll find here that God created a woman, a helper, one who was perfectly compatible for Adam, one of the same kind, and God joined them together.

Now the word there to join can imply to be glued, to be bonded, to, you know, be absolutely close together. And so it's not saying that a husband and a wife should be close together as animals cohabitate, but in a loving, warm, marital relationship. And then you'll find here, it also says they should leave father and mother and establish a separate union.

So it's obvious that God intended that there be fathers and mothers, but fathers and mothers in a warm, loving, marital relationship. Let's face the fact there can be no children without women, and conversely, there's no children without men. It takes two to tango, as the old saying goes. So you've got to have both. And it doesn't matter what today, you know, people want to say about, well, it's okay to have two mothers or it's okay to have two fathers. And this is being taught in the public school systems today. You know, they start in kindergarten teaching this type of ideas that you still have to have a man and a woman. And God says it should be within a marriage. Now there, I've heard people argue, well, this wasn't a marriage here between Adam and Eve. Let's go back to the New Testament, to Matthew chapter 19.

Matthew the 19th chapter, and let's notice what Christ had to say about this. Beginning in verse three, chapter 19, book of Matthew, verse three. Pharisees also came to him, testing him, saying to him, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? They ask for just any reason.

Get rid of her for any reason. And he answered and said to them, Have you not read that he who made them at the beginning made them male and female?

See, God made us that way and said for this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother, be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. So then there no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, Christ's explanation, what God has joined together, let not man separate.

Well, then they said, well, why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce and to put her away? And he said to them, Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted, not commanded, allowed, or permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. So from the very beginning, God intended a man and a woman to live together, become one flesh, and become a husband and wife. So this is talking about Genesis chapter 2. Christ is referring back to Genesis 1 and 2. And you'll find that Moses allowed them to divorce because of their carnality, the hardness of their hearts. The same thing takes place today.

So they were married and God gave a directive to be fruitful and to multiply. Being fruitful and multiply implies children, does it not? And you have a family relationship. You have a mother, you have a father, you have children. And so you are joined together and there is a family unit. So God is the one to create the family unit and to define the members of that family unit.

Now, I want to show you today as we go through the sermon that there is a conspiracy to destroy the family. Satan is the unseen influence behind this approach in society today. And we want to see the terrible effect that this has on families and children and why God is truly a father.

So why does Satan hate families? Why does he try to pervert the family unit ever since he's been on the earth? Well, let's go back to 2 Corinthians. 2 Corinthians 6 and verse 17.

Notice what Paul wrote here. God is pictured in the Scriptures as a father. Satan hates that. When we become converted, as it shows here, we become his sons and daughters.

And so what it clearly demonstrates is God is a family. We become his children. He is our father.

And the family unit is a type of what God is doing with a father and a mother and with children.

So the relationship between God and humans is a family relationship. And Satan the devil wants to destroy that relationship, if at all possible. He wants to hide the fact, and the Bible calls that, to blind the eyes or to deceive the hearts of people, that you and I can become a part of the family of God, that God is producing children. And so what has he pommed off on Christianity today? Well, that God is a trinity.

A trinity is a closed triangle. Supposedly, it's a mystery. God is three and one. Nobody can really explain it. And yet God is not a trinity. God is a family. There are two members in that family right now, the father and his son. And eventually, through the resurrection, you and I can be born again. We will be elevated from the human plane to the God plane. And we will become a part of the family of God in the kingdom of God. And as Hebrews chapter 2 and verse 10 clearly states, that the very purpose that God has for the human race is, as it states here, to bring many sons to glory.

God is in the process of bringing people to glory. In the resurrection, we will have a glorified body and we will be glorified. Now, you see, Satan the devil can't do that. He's not God. He cannot beget children. He cannot have a true family relationship like God can. Therefore, he hates God and everything God stands for. And yet, in the Bible, Satan is referred to as a father.

In what way is he a father? Let's go back to John chapter 8 verse 44. John the 8th chapter and verse 44.

And we'll read here, Christ talking to the religious leaders of his day, he said, you are of your father the devil, and the desires of the lust of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it. So here's, I mean scripture reveals right here in this verse how he's a father. Father meaning the originator, progenitor. He is the one who began lying.

He began a false way of life, a wrong way of life, a counterfeit way of life, a contrary way of life to the way of God. The way of God is called the way. And throughout the scripture you find the way is referred to. Well, Satan came up with a different way, a way contrary to God.

So he is a father. Can he beget children? The answer is no. Can he reproduce himself and have little devils running around? Well, again, the answer is no. He's not able to create a race of devils. He's a father in the sense of his influence. He influences the whole world to be like him, to mimic his attitude and approach. He is a father of lies. He is a father of deception. He is a father of rebellion. In other words, he began all of these things. In fact, in Matthew 22 verse 30, Matthew 22 verse 30, we find the implication that angels don't marry and don't have children. You don't have little angels running around. You don't have a momma angel and a papa angel and little baby angels. That doesn't take place. And here in chapter 22 verse 30, says, In the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage.

They had come to Christ with this trick question about a woman who had seven husbands. Each one died. Whose wife was she going to be in the resurrection? They thought they had him. And so he tells them, look, in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage. When we are resurrected into the family of God, we're not going to be male and female in the sense of cohabiting in the way we do as physical human beings. We're not given in marriage. But we are like the angels of God in heaven. So the implication is that we'll be like the angels who don't marry. Each angel that was created was a separate creation by God. But God begets us with His Spirit. That Spirit unites with the Spirit in man. And there is a new life begun. It's called the spiritual life. New man, the Bible calls it. And so we become a new person, new man, there's a new life, and God is creating Himself within us. Satan possesses people.

Satan controls people, but he cannot beget them. He cannot resurrect the man and make him immortal and make him a spirit being. Only God can do that. Satan hates God's plan. And so therefore, he rebelled against God. This is one of the reasons he hates God, because he is revealed as a Father. He's envious of God. He's filled with pride and vanity.

I want you to notice Satan's influence on those who even profess to be Christians today from a write-up by David Hoke. It says, there are some today who would like to make the Bible gender neutral. They would like to remove all references of God as a Father.

God in their edited version would become our divine parent instead of our Heavenly Father. So there are translations out there that take away any suggestion that God is a Father. In every place it says, Father, they come up with divine parent.

And it totally destroys the concept or the idea of God being a Father.

In the Greek or the Hebrew, the words are not divine parent. It means Father.

So you think it's an accident that God has been revealed to us as a Father? Is it because of the patriarchal society that exists in the times in which the Bible is written that the male imagery is used? Could it be that God actually wants to be known as a Father? There are also some other translations that translate, instead of Father, Mother. It talks about Mother God instead of God as a Father, and so totally distorting what the Bible has revealed. We live in an age where Fatherhood has been depreciated. There is no doubt that the traditional understanding of the family is under constant attack from the homosexuals and lesbians who advocate the same-sex marriage to the widespread acceptance of unwed motherhood as normal. We have seen the traditional family take severe and heavy shelling. It's like a war going on, and all the big guns are out trying to destroy and blow up the family unit. The radical feminists would have us believe that the real problem with society is men. To them, the idea of a traditional family headed by a Father is a setback for women, for society. Robert Griswold, Associate Professor of History and Women's Study at the University of Oklahoma, says in his book, Fatherhood in America History, there is a debate in society today over Father's roles. Fatherhood has lost its cultural coherence. It is no longer clear what we want, what we expect from Fathers. So we need to be clear in our own minds about the role of Fathers and the influence of Fathers. Satan wants to blur all of that. He wants to create male and female as Adrogynous. You know what Adrogynous is? It's, you know, there's no difference. You're the same.

Not a male, not a female. And so you see in culture, same hairstyles, same clothing, you know, men wearing earrings and wearing makeup and, you know, dressing like women, women like men. And so, you know, it just blurs everything that God has created.

The devil wants everybody to be the same. Can you remember the time when men looked like men and women looked like women? You know, there was a time when that was true. Let me quote from another article here. I thought this was very revealing because it's the latest information out.

The title is, In Controvertible Facts about Fathers, about Janice Shaw Krauss.

This was published in the Liberty LaHaye Institute. And, quoting, it says, this should be the final word. 24 scholarly studies covering 22,300 separate sets of data published in 20 years between 1987 and 2007 report essentially the same finding.

Active fathers are absolutely essential in preventing behavioral problems with boys and psychological problems with girls. They should set about establishing a father-friendly culture in all aspects of society all to do everything possible to promote fathers involvement with children and work assiduously to prevent father absence in American households. In fact, the author of the review of that research said as much. And when they talked about, we hope that this review will add to the body evidence that shows that enlightened father-friendly policies can make a major contribution to society in the long run by producing well-adjusted children and reducing major problems like crime and antisocial behavior.

The analysis showed that regular positive contact with the father reduces criminal behavior among children in low-income families and enhances cognitive skills. It means you're able to learn better and think and reason. It says like intelligence, reasoning, language development. In other words, when a father is around, kids learn to behave, obey laws, and end up learning more. Having both a father and a mother present in the home and active in the child's upbringing keeps them in line and reaps positive behavior and psychological benefits. It says, brass, the most significant of the finding for women is that by the time they turned 33 years of age, those girls who had a good relationship with their father when they were 16 years of age had a greater sense of mental and physical well-being and a better relationship with their partner.

Now, all of this study was done in Sweden. Now, if you know anything about the Scandinavian area of the world, you know that Scandinavia, Holland, all of these areas are very libertine in their approach towards sex. Norm and I, a couple of years, or three years ago, I think it was, went to Germany for the feast and we spent the day of atonement in Holland. And I, you know, I'd heard about these things, but you turn on the television, you're switching through the channels, and it seemed like about every third or fourth channel had naked people running around.

And, you know, you think, well, you know, that wouldn't be allowed in our country, but it's just part of the culture in those areas. And so, this was a study that was done, compiled a Swedish report, and so it has a tremendous implication because it was done over a period of 20 years, over 20 to 23,000 different studies where they studied, put all the data together. And what you find happening in the United States, every year more than one million children are separated from one or the other parent by divorce. And many more are added to that total by unmarried biological parents, with some cohabiting for a while, and then simply deciding to stop living together.

In 2006, some 1.6 million births, or 38 and a half percent of all births, were to unmarried mothers in the United States. Some of these unmarried mothers will eventually marry the father of the child, but those who do not add to the rising number of children who are being raised without the presence of the biological father.

In fact, the United States leads the world in the percentage of mother-only families. In 2006, about 28 percent of all children were raised in a single family home. It says, for centuries we have viewed marriage as a sacred institution, the foundation for a family, a covenant between a man and a woman, and God that is honored by people across all traditional faiths.

It is also a legal contract carrying responsibilities and privileges. Marriage between a man and a woman is the essential foundation for family. A group of related individuals bound together by the marriage covenant between a man and a woman, birth, blood, or adoption. Thus, family is unique relationship characterized by love and commitment rather than by convenience and choice. That's what you find today in society. So, it's no coincidence that, as a nation has changed its definition of marriage and family to eliminate the necessity of fathers, it has also increased the number of vulnerable children.

And that is so true. God the Father is a perfect example to all of us of what a father should be like, because he is perfect.

So, we want to take a look today at how God is a father and how he deals with us.

One of the things that I've found over the years, and many people have trouble with, and this is especially true, I've found, among some ladies, is growing up, perhaps with a father who was an abusive father or an absent father, or in some way was not the proper type of father, that shapes a person's viewpoint of what fathers are like. And so, when you begin to learn the truth, you begin to learn God's way, and you begin to learn that God is a father, it's almost automatic that you begin to transmit those thoughts to God the Father. And it's hard for a lot of people to pray to God as a father, because of perhaps some past trauma or some difficulty or a problem. But we need to realize that human beings sin. Human beings do things that are wrong, but that's not God. And God sets the perfect example for all of us when it comes to a family relationship, especially as a father, on how we should conduct ourselves. Let's notice, going back to 1 John 4 and verse 7, 1 John 4, 7, that the Bible reveals that God operates out of genuine love. You and I love our children. We accept our children. And even though they don't always obey, they're still our children, are they not? And so, therefore, we look after them and we approach them from that perspective. Let's notice what it says here about God. Verse 7, 1 John 4, Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God. And everyone who loves is born of God, and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. In this, the love of God was manifested towards us, that God has sent his only begotten Son into the world, that he might live through him, or that we might live through him. And this is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us and his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. He was the payment, the one who gave his life so that we could be ransomed from Satan, from sin and deception. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. And then you'll notice in verse 19, we love him because he first loved us. So we find that God has unconditional love for us. We are his children.

God doesn't give up on us. He continues to work with us. In fact, back in the book of Romans, chapter 5, Romans the fifth chapter, beginning in verse 6, we find again how God expressed his love for us. That his love is unconditional. He loves us. He doesn't love our sins. He knows that we're human. He knows that we are weak. As the old expression goes, you know, you love the sinner. You hate the sin. So let's notice here in verse 6, it says, For when we were still without strength in due time, Christ died for the ungodly. And scarcely for a righteous man will one die, yet perhaps for a good man some would even dare to die. But God demonstrated his own love towards us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. So you'll find that God gave his only begotten Son. If you'll remember the story of the prodigal son back in Luke chapter 15, beginning in verse 11, here was a man had two sons. His one son, younger son, foolish son, took his living, went off to squander it on wine women, gambling, lost it all, was reduced down to living with the pigs, eating the husk of the corn. Finally, one day he came to himself and he said, Well, you know, my dad has servants who live better than this. I'm going to go home and maybe my dad will allow me to be a servant. And what does it say about the Father? Let's go back there. Luke chapter 15.

What does it say about the Father in verse 20? The son is about to reach his dad, and he arose and came to his father, and he was still a great way off. The father saw him, had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. The son said to him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and I'm no longer worthy to be called your son. But the father said to his servant, Bring out the best robe. Put it on him. Put a ring on his hand, sandals on his feet. Bring the fattucat here. Kill it and let a seat and be merry. This my son was dead and is alive again, and he was lost in his found, and they began to be merry. So the father's attitude was one of love, of compassion, and he was willing upon the repentance of the son to accept him. Now the same thing happens to us, doesn't it? We sin, we fail, we fall, we make mistakes, and yet we can go to God, we can repent, and we can ask God for forgiveness.

Let's notice in 1 Thessalonians 2 and verse 7 how Paul emulated God's approach in dealing with the church.

In 1 Thessalonians 2, beginning in verse 7, Paul wrote this, We were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children.

So affectionately longing for you, we were pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God, but also our lives, because you have become dear to us.

So let me read this out of the NIV translation, says, But we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children.

A mother, there's nothing more beautiful than a mother with a newborn baby or a young child, nursing, rocking, looking after, cooling, talking to a baby.

One of the first things my wife and I did when we had our children was buy a rocking chair, because you can't have babies without a rocking chair. You've got to sit there and rock and nurse and talk to them. And this is the picture we have here.

It says, We love you so much. Notice this is what Paul is saying to the church there. We love you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God, but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us. So notice he shared his life with them, and a father will share his life.

In the original language in the Greek, the words express shows an intensity of love that gives over and over again. It's not just a one-time deal. And as parents, as we know, you have a child, you've got a commitment, at least for 18 years.

It's a commitment for a lifetime, because it doesn't matter how old they get, they're still your children.

I can remember going back home, as a grown adult, my own children who were grown, still feel like a little child when I visit my parents, because they're still your parents.

And we all, I think, to one extent or another, experience that. Let's notice going on here in verse 9.

Notice what a father is supposed to do with his own children. He exhorts, he comforts, and he charges his children. He implores. You know, you need to do this. He gives instruction, he exhorts, he encourages, he builds up. And so you find that this is the way we should be as human fathers, and it's the way God is. You find that God is an encourager.

Don Benson, in his book, The Total Man, tells how in one survey revealed that parents' average 10 negative comments to their children for every positive one. Don't do that. Don't touch that. Get away. You know, go, you know, get out of here, you know, whatever it might be.

And yet, Benson said experts in child psychology believe it takes at least four positive remarks to offset the damage done from one negative. It's, you know, it's hard for us a lot of times to be positive when our children, you got a bunch of them running around. At one time, we had four children, six and under.

And, you know, as they grow up, they're all teenagers, and, you know, they're all wanting to go this way and that way. It, you know, gets a little difficult, especially when they're all boys. As my wife used to say, she felt that she was living in a boy's locker room, you know, with our children as they grew up. But you find that God encourages us. God knows that we're human. He knows our weaknesses, but He still encourages us to keep going. And so, there's got to be the proper balance between correction and being able to give them positive direction. Many times, we as parents spend more time telling our children what they did wrong, or failed rather than what they did right, or teaching them what is right. I have another article here by Kathy Makus titled, Father's Really Do Know Best. And this is from Crosswalk. She's a contributing writer.

She says, all right, I'll admit it. I'm old enough to remember watching Father Knows Best. And Donna Reed and Ozzy and Harriet on TV. But is that really so bad?

That says, I was the oldest of three children and the only girl, and I adored my father. He was my first hero. My husband is my second, and there were several reasons for that. One of the first memories is of the day we moved into a brand new house, the one that my dad had worked on during his off hours for many months. I was three years old. I stepped out of the hot sun into the entryway and immediately grateful for the cool air inside and impressed that my father had accomplished such a thing. In addition to being a hard worker, we nearly always kept two jobs in an effort to provide for us. And Dad was a disciplinarian and high standards. I can remember all my life my dad worked two jobs. You know, today people seem to think that they want shorter work hours, more pay, and you know they're not willing to put forth the effort. And yet in the past, many have had to work long hours and do much to be able to take care of their families.

It says, if we were capable of A's, he did not accept B's. He drilled us on math and geography and helped me practice for spelling B's. I learned to set high standards for myself and for others. Call me old-fashioned, but I'm concerned about the shift that I've seen in our culture regarding the view of men and fathers in particular. Not only are they often portrayed as helpless buffoons, but in many cases they are reduced to unnecessary annoyances.

Who needs a man around when Superwoman is already there to run things? Even children on most TV shows know enough not to ask Dad for anything except money. Because only Mom has enough brain power to answer their questions, and only she has the authority to grant them permission. This is one reason why I always enjoyed the Bill Cosby Show. How many of you remember watching those? Those are syndicated. Norman and I watch those all the time still. They're just classic. He, as well as Mom, dealt with the children. It says, Mom is in charge today, and if Dad dares to challenge that assertion, he will have to repent of it at the end of the program, talking about television programming. How different might it be if we return to the teachings of the Scriptures, especially in Ephesians 5 and 6, which so clearly outline God's purpose in order for family relationship? Wives are to respect their husbands. Children are to obey their fathers. Men are to have sacrificial love for their wives and bring up their children in the training and the admonition of the Lord.

Somehow, we've gotten it all backwards, especially on TV. Women do not respect their husbands. Children certainly don't obey their parents, and no one in the sitcom brings up children in the training and admonition to the Lord. For the most part, even in Christian homes, that Scripture of training children is done by the mother. And that, I think, is very true.

Let's back up here to Ephesians. This article refers to Ephesians.

Ephesians 4, and verse 29 to begin with.

Ephesians 4, and verse 29.

It says, Let no corrupt words proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification that it may impart grace to the hearers.

So you and I are to edify, to exhort, to build up the family and our children.

And then in chapter 5, notice verse 33, Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, talking about the husband, and the wife see that she respects her husband. So there is to be that respect there and that love there. And then chapter 6 and verse 4, You fathers do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and the admonition of the Lord.

So one of the duties that a father has is to bring his children up, to encourage them, teach them, guide them, and lead them.

Men have a very positive effect, and have a very positive influence on their children.

A father also comforts and supports his children. Let's notice in 2 Corinthians chapter 1, beginning in verse 3, 2 Corinthians chapter 1 here, verse 3, that God comforts us, God supports us. In verse 3, it says, Bless be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercy, and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all of our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

So you find that God is a God who comforts. And, you know, he looks after us. He's concerned for us.

You find that we all need comfort from time to time. We need support. We need to have support because it's easy to feel discouraged, feel alone, feel empty, timid.

And you find that we all need to have someone who can encourage us. Today, too often, we have selfish parents.

Parents no longer care for themselves. I don't know.

I walk through a mall and I watch families walking along. I try to observe how parents treat their children, how the children respond to the parents. And right away, you can see that there's a disconnect, total disconnect between the parents and the children. And children don't want to be seen with the parents. Parents, you know, are yelling and screaming at the children.

And yet, you find that God does care for us. He's very concerned for us.

Those who don't receive the comfort and the encouragement to come from a father are likely, and this is especially true among women, to be prone to promiscuity, fear of failure, weariness towards life, become an obsessive-compulsive individual.

A young person who does not experience a father's comfort and support will find it difficult to deal with feelings of insecurity and to withstand unhealthy peer pressure.

They may experience trouble forming healthy relationships and are likely to succumb to becoming sexually active and meeting those emotional needs.

If her girl doesn't grow up having a right relationship with her father, then her emotional needs are generally not met, and she's going to go look for someone who will provide that emotional comfort.

So what you find is we need to be encouragers and comforters and to be able to help.

Now, the Bible also shows, back here in the book of Deuteronomy, Deuteronomy 8 and verse 5, that, yes, parents comfort, parents encourage, parents teach, parents train, but also a father and a mother have to discipline, don't they? They have to correct, and there are times that you have to correct your children. In verse 5 here, Deuteronomy chapter 8, "...you should know in your heart that as a man chastens his son, so the Lord your God chastens you." So God will correct us at times for our good. Why would a father correct his children?

Because if they're doing something wrong that hurts them, or will hurt them as they grow up in the future, then they need to change. They need to learn the right way.

You don't have to be a perfect father to correct. All perfect fathers, please stand up, and I'll go sit down, because there are no perfect fathers. No way, you don't have to be perfect, but you do have to have the right intention. We discipline our children because we love them.

God disciplines us because He loves us, and because of His goodness, you know, who He is.

Proverbs 3 verse 12 says, "...the Lord disciplines those that He loves as a father, the Son in whom He delights." A man who disciplines his children, thinks of their future, thinks of their character, realizes that there are things that they need to learn, is reflecting the character of God, because this is the way God is. Remember back in Hebrews chapter 12, beginning in verse 7, Hebrews 12 verse 7, it says, "...all children are disciplined by their fathers." If you're never disciplined, and every child must be disciplined, you are not true children.

We have all had fathers here on the earth who disciplined us, and we respected them. Our fathers here on earth disciplined us for a short time in the way they thought best. But God disciplines us to help us so that we can become holy as He is.

We do not enjoy being disciplined. It's painful. But later, we have learned from it, and we have peace because we start living the right way. Obviously, a modern translation here of this section. When you say discipline, you're not talking about beating, not talking about slapping, not talking about hitting, but there are times when maybe you have to get the paddle and discipline. The Bible very clearly teaches that there are times that you correct. The problem today with most people is that they have no idea how to go about correcting a child in the right way. There's at least a three to four step process. One, you teach what is right.

So you have to teach. Secondarily, you have to correct. Then, you have to forgive. You have to be willing to love them. When you teach a child and you say, look, you shouldn't be running out in the street because you're going to be hit by a car. You teach them the right way. They keep doing it. When you bring them back and say, look, I told you not to do this, you correct them. Why are you correcting them? Because you want them to realize there's a penalty for disobedience. That's one reason. So you correct them, but afterwards you love them. You show them that you're willing to forgive. So teaching, love, correction, go hand in hand. Today, a lot of people do a lot of teaching. They do a lot of talking, but that's all there is. So a child grows up and they learn the discipline. Some correct without teaching, without showing love. Therefore, those children generally will grow up despising or hating correction because they never receive the love that goes along with it. If all you do is show love, you never correct, then you'll grow up feeling love, but you won't have the discipline and the correction. So you have to teach them responsibility, that wrong actions have negative consequences. You want them to start to learn to live the right way.

So you'll find then a father is one who will correct his children. A father is also a refuge. A father is a refuge. Let's go back to Psalm 57 and verse 1. Psalm 57.

And let's read here in verse 1.

We read this, Have mercy upon me, O God, according to your loving kindness, according to the multitude of your tender mercies. Blot out my transgressions.

Now, another modern translation says, Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge, and I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings. So you find, excuse me, I think I'm reading the wrong chapter here. I'm in chapter 51. That's not 57. The two of them are a little different. Let's notice. It says, Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me for my soul trusts in you. In the shadow of your wings I will make my refuge, until these calamities have passed by. The family unit should be a place of safety for children, that they can come home and know that there is protection there for the family, or for the family, that Dad is there to look after them, that he's there to protect them. Psalm 18 verses 1 and 2 also says this, I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress, my deliverer. My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield in the horn of my salvation, my strong hope. So you and I are there to help our children, to help them through the trials of life, the tests of life, the difficulties they go through. You know, for them, sometimes little trials they go through seem like the biggest thing in the world, and they need someone that they can come and talk to and be who will be a refuge, someone who is there to help them. So, brethren, you find that God truly is a Father, and you and I, as fathers, need to love our children, respect our children, train our children, and you find today that in society, adjust the opposite is taking place. The need for fathers today in America is tremendous. Every day in the United States of America, 1,000 unweighed teenage girls become mothers.

1,100 teenage girls get abortions. 4,200 teenagers contract a sexually transmitted disease. 500 teens begin to use drugs. 1,000 teens begin to drink alcohol. 135,000 kids bring a gun or some other weapon to school in the public school systems. 3,600 teens are assaulted, and 80 are raped. 2,200 teens drop out of school. 7 kids are murdered on an annual basis every day.

7 juveniles, 17 and under, are arrested for murder, and 16s commit suicide.

Now, there's something wrong with our society when you read and you see statistics like the many do not equate the fact that the families are falling apart with that.

A father is to be a spiritual leader for his family, a spiritual guide for his family.

Good fathers give. Bad fathers are takers. Bad fathers are selfish. And sad to say, there are many men today who've never been trained, never been taught. How does a boy learn how to be a father?

He has a father who sets the example for him. How does a boy know how to treat women?

He sees his dad and how his dad treats his mom.

I know when our boys grew up, my wife told them, if I ever hear of you laying a hand or mistreating your wife, you're going to answer to us. And they were taught how to treat a girl to respect a girl, to respect her in every way. Today, we live in a society that is exceedingly selfish, self-centered. People are just after their own way. But if you have a normal family where you have a father and a mother who love their children, they're going to grow up. They're going to see how a man treats a wife. They're going to see how a man is masculine, how he is a leader.

Let me quote from an article here by Kelly McElven.

The title of the article is, Father's Shape, Our View of God. This ties in with what I was referring to earlier.

It says, it's not true that mothers and fathers are just interchangeable parts. That you can just change one for the other, says Dr. Wade Horn, the president of National Fatherhood Initiative. What fathers do with children is somewhat different than what mothers do. For example, fathers are more physical with their children. Mothers are more verbal. Fathers encourage more risk-taking. Moms are more encouraging of caution. Horn said one is not better than the other. The two styles of parenting complement each other. But statistics show that when a father is absent, the consequences are devastating. Children living in fatherless homes are more likely to be poor, experience problems in school, have psychological and health problems, be the victim of child abuse, and engage in criminal behavior. Such staggering statistics Americans are beginning to realize just how important fathers are to their children. But how does an absent father affect a child's life? As one psychologist tells us, fathers have the power to shape their children's view of God for better or for worse. You see, if the fathers are abusive, if they neglect, it will affect that person's view of God later on. The experience a child has with his father is the first experience they have with the idea of God. And it mediates their own understanding of God, says Dr. Paul Vits, author of Faith of the Fatherless. If you have a defective father, one who abuses you, a father who is weak, unworthy of respect, a father who is even just dead, what it does is to set up a negative understanding of father and a negative attitude toward the father.

It's interesting this gentleman studied the life history of several famous atheists.

He said some of them had dead fathers who left them abandoned in certain clear ways. This continues, others had really abusive fathers who literally abandoned the family and rejected others had very weak or irresponsible fathers. I found this pattern over and over again in the lives of famous families. It looks like atheists reject God because they can't believe in a God like their father because their father mistreated them and they have an intolerable memory. But strong Christian fathers can provide a foundation that will last for years to come.

Consider the descendants of evangelist Jonathan Edwards. I don't know how many of you have heard of Jonathan Edwards, but famous American evangelist who led America to the Great Awakening.

He and his wife believe in the loving Christian training. An ongoing study compares his descendants to the lad of a criminal who lived around the same time. The Edwards family produced 300 preachers, 65 college professors, 13 university presidents, 60 authors of good books, three congressmen, and one vice president. The lineage of the criminal, Max Jukes, looks like this. 300 died prematurely, 100 went to prison, 190 were prostitutes, 100 were drunkers, and the family cost the state of New York more than $1 million. Here are two families. One set the example, taught the children in the right way, having the proper view of God, and look at what happened to their descendants. Because they trained their children, their children then passed it on to their children, and if they're around to influence, they influence their grandchildren, and maybe their great grandchildren, and you find that can have a profound effect. How should a father be a spiritual leader for his children? Well, he sets the example. They should see a father praying, studying the Bible, that he loves his mother, or their mother, I should say. He's genuine, he's law-abiding. They don't see him saying one thing to the preacher, or acting one way at church, and then going home and acting contrary. He lives this way of life.

So, brethren, tomorrow is Father's Day, and I think we all need to stop and think, even if your father is dead. My dad died a few years back, around 97, and he was 83 years old.

How do I honor my father today? I honor him by how I live. I honor him by how I treat my wife, how I relate to my children and my grandchildren, and to others. And so, we honor our parents by how we live, how we uphold their memory, the values that they have given to us that are passed on.

And if our parents are still alive, we need to make sure that we honor them.

So, I wish all the men here who are fathers a Happy Father's Day, and let's remember the examples that we have in the Scriptures.