Complaining or Explaining

I like to anchor us in Scripture, as I always do, because we are here in the Church of God, and one of the hallmarks is to open up our Bibles. And as we have an open Bible, then we have an open heart. And I'd like us all to please turn to Matthew 5 for a moment. Let's anchor in this set of Scriptures, and then we'll build upon it, and I'll share with you what we'll be talking about in a moment. In Matthew 5 and verse 14, Jesus speaking says, you are the light of the world. And a city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden, nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand. And it gives light to all of those who are in the house.

Then look at verse 16, an encouragement and admonishment. Let your...so it's very personalized. Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father, who is in heaven. So we understand that to be a disciple of Jesus Christ, and His encouragement to each and every one of us, whether we be young or old, is to be a light. Well, what is one of the ways that more than ever that you and I can be a light in today's world, in the community around us, and most importantly with those that are near and dear to us, that we come into contact every day? To become a light, as with any creation, because it's a spiritual creation that God is performing in us. It's His work. That does not happen in a vacuum. You know, if I took a light, one of those little bulbs that, you know, come from Mr. Edison, sometimes that we shatter, but the light just doesn't come on by itself. There's a working inside of it. There are filaments that are in there that through the scientific method, create a spark, create a light, and illuminate that which is around us. And that's exactly a part of the Christian call. God does not work in a vacuum. Satan works in a vacuum. God does not. There has to be an activity. There has to be steps. And that's what I'd like to share with you in one regard today, in perhaps one of the most important ways, up close and personal, that you and I can be a light. Now, as I give this message, I want you to understand I will not be talking down to you. I'm not even going to be talking at you. I'm going to be talking to myself up here, because I think this is a lesson and an illumination that each and every one of us need. So I'm just kind of sharing my notes with you as to where I need to be, where I need to grow as a Christian, first and foremost. I'd like to give you the title of my message, and then we'll get into it. And that way you won't worry in about three hours, just joking, what we are talking about. The title of my message is simply this. Are you ready? And I want to tell you that this message, hopefully, is going to be what we call a note taker's delight. There's going to be a lot of points. There's going to be a lot of ABCs, so you might get your hand ready. And if it has low carpal tunnel on it, we'll anoint it so you can take the rest of the notes. But here's the name of the title, complaining or explaining? Complaining or explaining? Subtitle. The Spirit-led decision. And I hope by the message that I'm going to give you today, by God's grace and His inspiration and His encouragement, that this is going to make a difference in my life and in your life as we meet our Sundays and Mondays and Tuesdays and Wednesdays and the many people that are going to come into contact with us. Allow me to begin this message by sharing a story. There was a very conscientious wife who tried very, very hard to please her ultra-critical, super-critical husband, but she failed regularly. He seemed the most cantankerous in the morning, especially around the breakfast table. If the eggs were scrambled, he wanted them poached. If they were poached, he wanted them scrambled. So finally, the lights came on, different kind of life, but the lights came on. He says, I know what I'll do. I got it. I'm going to get to that man's heart yet. What I'll do, the two eggs, I'll poach one and I'll scramble one.

And so she poached one and she scrambled one. She served at the table and she backed away. And she was just ready for all the glowing comments coming her way that she was finally going to do something. She was just waiting and waiting. And he said, woman, you scrambled the wrong egg.

We're all laughing. Hope that's not Gallo's laughter. How would you like to face that person every day of your life? Some of us do. Now, before you think of who you're putting a face and a heart to, if we want to be truly honest, some of us are just like that man. Even Christians, even the people of God, even those that have experienced the miracle of God, can be that person that looks in the mirror and you say that I am that man. Just like David, when he had sinned and Nathan came before him and he, in a sense, said, Nathan said, what should happen to that man? And David gave his pronouncement. And then Nathan said, you are that man. All of us, brethren, if we can talk, it's okay, we're family. All of us at times are critical. All of us are less than the light that God has called us to be through Jesus Christ. And so we need to recognize that this little story might be our story. And there are our reasons why it's become our story. And we'll get into that in the course of this message. And so what I want to talk about today, let's understand the world that is around us, the world that is shaping us, and the world that is inside of us when our thoughts, our words, our deeds, and our motives are apart from Jesus Christ. Today, I want to talk about the difference between complaining and explaining. Because in all of this, I want to share something with you. There is a time to be critical. God has, in a sense, called us, in a sense, to be critical. It's how we are critical. And it's how we explain ourselves. Let's go back for a moment and to understand that when we think about negativity and being critical like that man at the breakfast table, fault finding in any degree, it's been with us, well, since time immemorial, hasn't it? Go all the way back to the evening. We find it there. We find that rather than face themselves, people want it to point a finger at other people. You know, it's just that this is the PowerPoint, because you know, I don't do technical PowerPoint. I am the PowerPoint. But, you know, we all know that when you point at somebody like this, like I'm pointing at David, and no hard feelings, David, but, you know, I'm pointing at David, when you're pointing at somebody with a finger and you are complaining, you've got to look back and recognize the body language here that three fingers, three fingers are pointing back to us. And that's always been the case since Eden. You know, when you think of Adam and Eve, and after they had taken a bite of what we call the forbidden fruit, we recognize that when God did bump into Adam, what is the first thing he did? Did he explain or did he complain? He said, it's the woman... Ladies, you understand this... it's the woman that you gave to me.

And what is interesting, the first thing, rather than taking responsibility, he was complaining about God's greatest gift to a man, is his lady. But, you know, we copy our parents sometimes, don't we? There's that old expression out of the Midwest. It says that an acorn doesn't fall far from the oak tree.

And to recognize in the next generation, we have Cain.

That when Cain's offering was not acceptable, after he murdered his brother, and then God pronounced his judgment upon him at the mark, what did Cain say in Genesis 4.13? He said, my punishment is greater than I can bear. He was complaining about the just desserts that God had given him. Can we go a step further? Let's wander down the Bible for a second, just paraphrasing, and to recognize that ancient Israel, as God had delivered them, that Israel from the time, not even the time they left, but before they got out of Egypt, at the Red Sea. Aren't there enough graves in Egypt that we have to die here?

What kind of a GPS have you gotten? Our back is up against the wall.

And then later, when they crossed the sea, around every bend, that they would forget, that they would complain. They wanted the leeks, they wanted the onions, they wanted the garlic. It sounds like they wanted to go to an Italian deli. They wanted everything that was familiar with them. You know what happens is, we can become secure in our insecurity. And that's what had happened to Israel and Egypt. They had become secure in their insecurity.

And they complained about the freedom that God had given them, around every bend, after every miracle. And finally, God says, these ten times, you have come up against me and complained.

And so, why I'm sharing this, brethren, is for all of us to understand in this room, each and every one of us, are you with me? Each and every one of us have been touched by God. Each and every one of us have been called to be the people, the person of God. But even the people of God have issues when it comes to complaining and or explaining. And so, that's what we want to talk about today. And all the more real as, yes, everything has in a sense been the same since Eden, but now we live in a society that is set on steroids, as far as being a complaint society. People yelling at one another, people pointing the finger at one another, people not giving one another the benefit of the doubt. Like two ships in the night passing, nobody's connecting. Again, let's anchor ourselves in Scripture. May we? Let's go to Revelation 18 in verse 4, and let's take a look here for a moment at an admonition that God gives His people down through the ages.

And it says in Revelation 18, 4, and I heard another voice from heaven saying, Come out of her, my people, lest you share in her sins. And notice, unless you receive of her plagues. So God tells us to come out of the culture, out of the society, out of the ways of this present world.

If you go to Jude, it talks about the way of Cain.

One way that you can define, and there are many ways that you can define the way of Cain in many facets, look through it simply thus. Cain was a complainer. He was not an explainer. And we have been called to be more than Cain.

Join us if you would for a moment on a positive difference in this. Philippians 4. In Philippians, the Book of Joy. In Philippians 4 and verse 8.

Let's take a look here. Let's take a look here. And let's notice verse 8.

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are love-o-lay, whatever things are of a good report, if there is any virtue, if there is anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things. Now, Paul, who was a man of communication and understood the human mind, recognized we are either going to focus on one thing and or the other. We are either going to focus on the honey and or we're going to focus on the vinegar.

And last time I did the test, I think you attract more ants with honey than vinegar. Now, you ladies then hearing that may want to use more vinegar so you don't have ants in your house, okay, or use termin-X. But anyway, the point is simply this. Paul recognized the human heart because not just the brain, it's not just the tongue, it's the heart. The human heart is going to go one direction and or the other.

And so he's saying with God's Spirit, why not fill it up with that which is constructive, constructive and pleasant and builds up people. Now, before you say that, is to recognize this. There are matters that come to us in our marriage and on the job, in a congregation, that needs input, that needs constructive explanation.

And we're going to talk about that towards the end. We're not talking about just standing still and never saying anything, not at all. We're going to build upon that as we go along. So this afternoon, again, the message I'm giving you is complaining or explaining. And to recognize what makes the difference is the Spirit-led decision that you make. God gives us advice.

He gives us encouragement out of this holy book. It's all here for the taking. And we have those spiritual lenses to be able to look at it. But you can read, read, read. But at the end of the day, you have to make the kind of decision that is going to glorify God and is going to be a blessing to other people. Many of us, again, work off of our grandparents, off of our parents, off of where we have come through life because we're a part of everything that has met us in life.

And we can be kind of down a rut. We can just be in a rut. You know, you're very getting a rut in the springtime where it's kind of, you know, where, well, beyond mud, but where it's kind of hard. You're in a rut. It's hard to get out of a rut. And for some of us, to be critical is the rut that we're in. To be critical is the pond that all of us are in at one time or another.

None of us are going to escape this. So don't go away because I'm going to give you a test this afternoon. So let's go to point number one. Point number one. I'd like to encourage you with just three points. Number one, stop being negative by recognizing its source and its effect. Stop being a complainer whose complaints just become a dead end to themselves. Let's think about this for a moment and to describe the attributes of what gets us into being a complainer.

Let's fully appreciate that there is nothing easier than fault finding with other people. It takes no talent, demands no self-respect, requires no brains, solicits no character. To set yourself up in what we might call, are you with me? The grumbling business. And or as the ears of the lights would sing, murmur murmur murmur murmur.

Ben Franklin once said, any fool can criticize, can complain, can condemn, and most do. And as we've already seen by the scriptural record, even the people that have been called and touched by God can do the same. Join me if you would. Let's go to the Old Testament to an example here in numbers 12. Stories surrounding Moses, centering on Moses and his family.

Numbers 12. If you'll join me there, please. And one reason why I bring this up is to recognize this. When it says that God has called us to be the light of the world and that a city, a light, hidden underneath a bushel doesn't show off its light. And sometimes we think that we have to be a light to the entire world.

And in part we do. Yes, absolutely. But most of the time it is a light that is shining around our mates, around our family, around our siblings, around those that are at work that we have daily contact with, around our schoolmates, chums, around people that are in this church. You know, when Jesus lived or He with me from me, when Jesus lived and was ministering and witnessing, most of it happened, especially in that day and age, in that which was in His path, that which was in His sphere of influence as He moved through the Galilee or Samaria or coming down to Jerusalem.

He wasn't dealing with a person on the other side of the hill. He was dealing with those that He was literally coming into contact with. And that is our responsibility to deal with those that we immediately come into contact with. And here we have a family matter in Numbers 12. Then Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman whom he had married, for he had married an Ethiopian woman.

So they said, has the Lord indeed spoken only through Moses? Has He not spoken through us also? And the Lord heard it. Now let's do some back-rops here, is to recognize that that Aaron and Miriam were the brother and the sister, the sister and the brother of Moses. One was the high priest, the other was a prophetess. Both were leaders in a sense amongst both the men and the women in the entire congregation of Israel. And they had, as we say today, they had issues.

And rather than dealing with the issue at hand as how God was working with Moses, they brought up something from 40 years before. 40 years before Moses and his life, prior life, as a prince of Egypt, you can read this in Josephus, had been the conqueror of Ethiopia. His name back then was Miramishoi Kinkari. And Pharaoh had sent him down to conquer Egypt, or not to, excuse me, conquer Egypt, but to conquer Ethiopia. And in that, obviously, he took a wife, an Ethiopian wife.

So rather than dealing with the issue, their complaint was something that was, it was not only hysterical, it was historical, going back and they brought something all the way to the future. Now, verse 3 says, Moses was very humble, more than any man that was on the face of the earth. Suddenly the Lord said to Moses, Aaron, and Miriam, Come out, you three, to the tabernacle of meeting.

So the three came out, and then the Lord came down to the pillar of the cloud and stood in the door of the tabernacle, called Aaron, called Miriam, and they both went forward.

Then he said, Hear now my words, if there is a prophet among you, I the Lord make myself known to him in a vision. I speak to him in a dream. Not so with my servant Moses. He's faithful in all my house. I speak with him face to face, even plainly and not in dark sayings. And he sees the form of the Lord. Why then were you not afraid to speak against my servant Moses? So the anger of the Lord was aroused against them, and he departed. And when the cloud departed from above the tabernacle, suddenly Miriam became leprous, as white as snow. And then Aaron turned towards Miriam, and there she was a leper. Now, let's notice verse 11, Sinner. So Aaron said to Moses, O my Lord, please do not lay this sin on us, in which we have done foolishly, and notice, in which we have sinned.

Having a critical spirit, having a complaining heart, and not dealing with interpersonal relationships correctly, in verse 11, misses the mark. It's called a sin. They could not deal directly with the issue at hand, their feelings towards Moses, so they drug up something from 40 years before.

It was a distraction. It was a detour. They could not face their own jealousy. And so what God did in this punishment upon Miriam for about a while, because they were restored, thank God.

But what God did is made a leper, because he did outwardly what was happening on the inside.

She was being eaten up with complaint. She was being eaten up by a critical spirit.

A critical spirit can be a cancer. It can be a plague. And it can isolate us, just as Miriam would become isolated and go outside of the camp. A critical spirit can isolate us from those that God has called us to come into contact with. Sometimes people don't understand it till it's too late, why nobody shows up, why nobody's calling them, why nobody stays around them too long, because of a critical spirit. Let's take a test here for a moment. I want to say something with you, because as we started out here, is that I'm just talking to myself up here, and I hope you're hearing what I'm saying, and if the shoe fits, then wear it.

But let's take a complaint-critical test for a moment. I just have some questions for you, because maybe you don't think this sermon applies to you. I believe this sermon applies to me. Okay, so let's take a test so that we kind of spread the net to make sure all of us stay with me for the remainder of the message. Okay? Number one, just a question, and please, by the way, don't need to raise your hand, and don't raise both hands. No television antenna, no goalpost. Keep your hands down. Okay, here we go. Number one, have you complained about someone behind someone's back this past week?

I'll let you ruminate for a moment.

Number two, have you focused on someone's shortcomings rather than their strengths?

Number three, have you made a list of their positive qualities before addressing their negative ones?

Number four, have you reminded yourself that Christ commands us to love our neighbor as ourselves?

One more. Number four, have we considered that our biting comments are just, could be, considered so much crying wolf? That if we are critical and critical and critical and complaining and complaining and complaining when a really needed constructive criticism needs to be shared, then at that time when it is most important, no one wants to listen any longer.

Let's build upon that. I hope I've created a wide circle to where we're all in it. I am in this.

I did not pass the test this week, and I'm your pastor. I'm also your fellow Christian. But the journey is not over. There's more to be had and more to be learned. Number two, second major point.

We need to come to understand that effective criticism doesn't always come how we want it.

Constructive criticism, how we want it. When we are ready or from whom we think that we're going to hear it from. Thus, as you often know, I go into this cadence. We need to be open. We need to be available, and we need to be willing and not lessen the instrument that God uses to bring us to a completeness that is in Christ. I'd like to share a story with you for a moment. May I?

It's simply this. There were two taxidermists, and they started before a window in which an owl was on display. They immediately began to criticize the way that it was mounted. In other words, if you don't know what a taxidermist is, it's a stuffed bird store. Okay? And so here's this owl that's on display, and they immediately began to criticize the way it was mounted. Its eyes were not natural. Its wings were not neatly arranged, and well, frankly, its feet could be improved.

Well, when they had finished their discourse and with all of their criticism, and were about to walk away, the old owl turned his head and winked at them.

I say to you on this afternoon, oh, that I might just be the owl and just give somebody a wink.

Normally, when we as human beings, men and women, boys and girls, teenagers, young adults, whoever we might be, whenever we are criticized, it's nighttime over Baghdad, 1990.

Anti-missiles are going up, walls are going up, moats are being filled, and the alligators are released. What? What are you saying? And there becomes a distance.

Not so much by the person that may be being utilized by God, but ourselves.

Because of, as Mr. Grinnell mentioned, because of pride. Because we're being, in a sense, in our minds, being assaulted. Oh, that we could be like that owl. But it's not that easy to take criticism, is it? I'd like to show an example here for a moment of a man that took criticism. Would you join me, please? Let's go to 2 Samuel 16. In 2 Samuel 16, 2 Samuel 16, in 2 Samuel 16, this is a wonderful story.

You might say this is the Old Testament owl. And somebody that we know, it was King David. And we notice here in 2 Samuel 16, verse 5, Now when King David came to Beryarim, there was a man from the family of the house of Saul, whose name was Shemiiah, the son of Gerah, coming from there. And he came out cursing continuously as he came. And he threw stones at David, and at all the servants of King David, and all the men, all the people, and all the mighty men were on his right hand and on his left. So here's King David with his troops, they're kind of going through some gully. And here's this, if I dare say, kind of this crazy guy, this crazy man. He's foaming at the mouth, yelling, he's screaming. He's insulting the king of Israel. And not only that, but he's throwing rocks. He threw stones at David. And also Shemiiah came out and he said, curse what are you? Come out, come out, you bloodthirsty man, you rogue.

The Lord has brought upon you all the blood of the house of Saul, and whose place you have rained. And the Lord has delivered the kingdom into the hand of the Absalom, your son. So now you are caught in your own evil, because you're a bloodthirsty man. Now this gets interesting, if you've never seen this story before. Then Abishai, the son of Zoriah, said to the king, why should this dead dog, and a dog in the least, is an ultimate curse?

Why should this dead dog curse my Lord the king? Please let me go over and take off his head.

This is called the shortcut to problem solving. But the king said, what have I to do with you, you sons of Zoriah? Much like later on, the greater David, the second David, Jesus Christ, remember when James and John wanted to nuke the spiritans? Just let us call it down. He said, what spirit are you in? But the king said, what have I to do with you?

So let him curse, because the Lord has said to him, curse David, who then shall say, why have you done so? And David said to Abishai and all his servants, see how my son, who came from my own body, seeks my life, speaking of Absalom, how much more now may this Benjamite, let him alone, let him curse, for so the Lord has ordered him. It may be that the Lord will look on my affliction, that the Lord will repay me with good for his cursing this day. And as David and his men went along the road, Shimei kept on going along the hillside, opposite him, cursing him, threw stones at him, and kicked up the dust. Very Middle Eastern, kicking, when you kick up dust, that's like, I don't like you.

This is beyond the story of an owl winking in a store shop.

David recognized that, in a sense, to use the terms today, this was fake news.

He was not responsible for the death of Saul. But he was, even as we know, a description, even by God, that he was a man that was surrounded by blood. And at that moment, he allowed himself to be humbled. He said it was of God. The reason why I'm saying all this, friends, is sometimes we have to be open, we have to be receptive, we have to be sensitive to the tools, even unlikely vessels that we would not have chosen to humble us, to mold us, to correct us, to allow us to be like Jesus Christ. Who that, as it says in 1 Peter 2, 21, that when he was reviled, he did not revile back.

I have not always passed that test. I know many, many years ago, must be about 35 years ago, true story, I was given a phone call to appear before somebody. There had been literal falsehoods mentioned. I actually laughed them off at the time, but to the receiver of that news, they took it as something to be discussed. And so, this discussion was of somebody that you would all know, but I will leave the names to the past. And so, I went into that meeting and into that discussion, not like David, not like David. I wish I had, because it was nighttime over Baghdad, anti-missiles, untruths had been spoken, and I was going to go in and I was going to justify myself, rather than allowing God to justify the matter and allow it to be rectified later on. It was quite a meeting, kind of what we might call a mano-mano meeting.

Afterwards, I went away and I was still, shall we say a little, how do we say this humanly?

Steamed.

I went home to my dear wife, you know her, Susie, of 44 years.

And like any man, you're looking for a pat on the back, a hug, like a dog with a bone going home, somebody will like you, somebody will pet your mane, make you feel good about the day, make you feel good going into battle. And I went home and there was Susan. And I told her what had happened. I told her what occurred.

And then she said one thing, one of those things that I remember. And she said, and Robin, what did you learn about yourself through all of this?

That was it. A question, very Jewish in origin, the question seeking the answer or giving the answer, because my focus had been on the other individual. My focus in that sense, and all analogies break down, please understand, had been on the shimmy eye, rather than what God was telling me about myself and my pride and my ego and where I was as a young man, as a young pastor, as a young minister.

I've never forgotten that.

Do we want praise so much at all cost, and even flattery at times at all cost, that we're not willing to receive the message of God through whatever tool, whatever instrument, even if for the moment it does not seem correct or right to recognize that God's hand is in it?

Interesting. Let's go to point number three. We need to learn the godly form of constructive criticism. We need to learn the form of constructive criticism. There is a time to speak up, and there is a time to say what is on our mind. There is a time, indeed, to be critical, not to complain, but to explain issues that do sincerely need to be brought up. If we are not... hear me, please, and I want to speak to all of you for a moment. This is very important, because I've recognized as somebody that is now in their 60s and somebody that has pastored for 40 years and somebody that is in contact with many, many people all the time. How much stuffing we do as individuals? We stuff, and we stuff, and we stuff, and we stuff, and I'm not talking about the turkey.

We stuff. We put it away, and we think it's going to be okay. We think it's going to be safe. We think it's going to be all right, and we stuff, and we stuff, and this is particularly important to our ladies about stuffing. Here's something I want to share with you, please, and if you don't get anything out of this message, this is the one I want you to get. If we are not addressing needs, we are going to be addressing hurts. If we are not addressing hurts, we're going to be addressing anger. If we are not addressing anger, we are going to be found in the pool a-bitter.

And we know what the Apostle Paul says about a root of bitterness. That taproot goes down so far, or to use the analogy of the pool of bitterness, it is so deep. It's hard to resurface. Thus, why don't we go back and deal with issues as they come to us? And we're not good at this as human beings. Sometimes as children, we stuff things. Sometimes as young adults, we stuff things. Sometimes early on in our marriages, we have stuffed things. And some of us are still professional stuffers, even as Christians. And we need... these are things that need to be addressed. These are things that need to be addressed. Join me, if you would, in Proverbs 14.15. In Proverbs 14, into the book of Wisdom, notice what it says here in Proverbs 14.15.

The simple believe every word, but the prudent considers well his steps.

A wise man fears and departs from evil, but a fool rages and, notice, is self-confident.

We already talked about that one, didn't we? A quick-tempered man acts foolishly, and a man of wicked intentions is hated. The simple inherit folly, but the prudent are crowned with knowledge. The evil will bow before the good, and the wicked at the gates, notice, of the righteous. Here's a couple things when it comes to offering constructive criticism. We're going to go very quickly here, so get ready to write. We're going to go right through it. Let's go to Proverbs 9 verse 7. Proverbs 9 verse 7. Let's take a look here.

First of all, first point I want to give you is know your audience. Know your audience. It says in Proverbs 9.7, He who corrects a scoffer gets shame for himself, and he who rebukes a wicked man only harms himself. Do not correct a scoffer lest he hate you. Rebuke a wise man and notice, and he will love you. Give instructions to a wise man, and he will still be wiser.

Teach a just man, and he will increase in learning. And the fear of the Lord is the beginning of notice wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. Know your audience is a very important. One thing in the Greek language, in the Greek manner when Paul was writing, we often use this phrase geology, and you've heard it before, I'm going to exhort you today, you know, kind of exhort like that, like, like that. That was not the... I had kind of fun doing that... is that that is not what exhortation really is. Exhortation was where you talk to somebody in a constructive, wise, step-by-step manner of where you lead them from point A, you're with me, A, and over to Z, and by the time you get to Z, they think it's their own thought.

That's what the wisdom of God leads us to as a ministry and or as to the people of God, as to how we share ourselves on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays with our mates, with our co-workers, with our brethren, with our family, extended family members.

Know your audience. Number two, simply put, timing is important. Timing is important. In Acts 18, verse 24, it's a wonderful story over in Acts 18, 24. It's the story of Apollos as he comes amongst the people. And Apollos is kind of a new guy on the block. He's full of enthusiasm. He is truly full of eloquence, but he needs a little help. He needs not complaint, but a little explaining. In Acts 18, verse 24, now a certain Jew named Apollos, born at Alexandria, an eloquent man, and mighty in the scriptures, came to Ephesus. And this man had been instructed in the way of the Lord. And being fervent in spirit, he spoke and taught accurately the things of the Lord, though he only knew the baptism of John. He'd gotten to, do we dare say, second base. So he began to speak boldly in the synagogue, and when Aquila and Priscilla heard him, notice, they took him aside and explained to him the way of God more accurately. They did not challenge him in front of other people. Are you with me? They did not challenge him in front of other people. Here was a new individual, a man of eloquence, a man of fire, a man of passion of what he knew. But they weren't out in the crowd and raising their hands, excuse me, Mr. A, you didn't receive the memo.

None of us as human beings, unless you're extra spiritual, none of us like to be embarrassed in public. Children don't like that. I can rarely tell you teenagers don't like that. We raised three of them. People don't want to be the spotlight on them in public. You know, one thing we learned about Aquila and Priscilla, they were people, they were loving people, they followed that admonition, do unto others as you would have done unto you, and they took Apollos aside. When you are moving through the practical prudent steps of explaining a situation, the timing is so important, the audience and the time of receptivity is so important, which takes us then to point number three. When you're dealing with this, intros and exits are essential. You know, most takeoffs in the airline industry, most accidents happen on takeoffs and landings. And that's where communication breaks down between husbands and wives, family, brethren, is on takeoffs and landings.

Let's just think this through for a moment. Jot this down, you can study it later. Point A, just think of the Book of Philemon. The Book of Philemon is the epistle of Christian diplomacy.

Big issue here in the church. In that church and in that day, which was common in the church and in that day, we had the slave owner and we had the slave. All in the same congregation, the slave had run away and now Paul, the man of God, is trying to get the slave and the slave owner back together.

And the first...I want you to read the Book of Philemon this week because this really deals with explaining, because this is the masterpiece that has been put in the Bible for us to understand how to explain situations. And it's interesting, you know how Paul starts out. He starts out, oh, we love you. We love you, Philemon, and your son, and your family. And, you know, the church actually meets in your house. You are well known amongst everybody. This is not flattery. Flattery will get you nowhere. We all heard that expression. Flattery will get you nowhere. No, these were facts. And it's not till verse 8, therefore...that's where the but comes in...therefore. Eight verses of sharing, as I said earlier, what the family of Philemon was doing correctly. He wasn't going to kneecap, Philemon. It wasn't till verse 8, therefore...I want you to take this one that was birthed in bonds to me when Onesimus the slave came to him. What a marvelous example. Here's another thing I'd like you to share. You can...homework, ready? Revelation 2 and Revelation 3. The seven churches on that mail route in Asia Minor, that each of those churches was given a commendation. That's where it started. They were given a commendation.

Number two then, once the commendation was given, they were given a concern. The concern did not come before the commendation. At number three at the end, takeoffs and landings at the end, God always opens or closes...excuse me...always closes with encouragement.

And even at the end of the book or the message to Laodicea, which in summation is all a message to everybody, God says this or Jesus says this, say, Bill's not the only one that can knock. Bill is supposed to wake you up. I stand at the door knocking. Christ is the master encourager and that's how we are to conduct ourselves. Number four, get the facts. Get the facts.

Don't deal with circumstantial evidence. Don't just deal with feelings. Deal with facts. Real swiftly, go to Deuteronomy 13. We're going to go in and out real quickly here. I'm going to wrap up in about five minutes. In Deuteronomy 13, this comes after God sharing with most is sharing with people how to detect a false prophet. He just lays it out. But then he deals with what happens when you come in amongst the nations. If you'll notice Deuteronomy 13 verse 12, if you hear someone in one of her cities, which the Lord your God gives you dwell saying corrupt men, what it really does corrupt men and dealing with paganism. But what I want you to come down to is verse 14. This is how God asked us to move into a matter with prudence to not be a complainer, but to be an explainer and to have a constructive conclusion to our interaction with others. Then you shall inquire. Number two, you shall search out. And number three, you shall ask diligently. And if notice it is indeed true and certain that this matter and or in this case this abomination was committed, then and then only do you move forward. Just like that old series out of the 50s, you know, just the facts, ma'am. Just the facts. Don't deal with circumstantial evidence. Number five, have the godly courage to move forward with your concerns. And God gives us ways to do that. He says to go to your brother. Sometimes, and I'll share something with you, may I? To go to your brother takes courage, doesn't it? It doesn't take courage for me as the pastor to go to the individual that's offended you or that you've offended or you're having issues with. For over 40 years when people come to me to say, well, Mr. Weber, I think you should talk too. So and so. Oh, really? No, no, no, no. I'm not going to get involved at this point. That's not biblical. Have you gone to your brother? Have you gone to your sister? Have you had the courage to deal? That's what the Bible says to do. Not for the pastor to become involved beyond the time when it needs to be involved. You see, one thing about Christianity, it takes courage. That's not just prudence, but it takes courage, and it takes patience, and it takes time to have reasonable outcomes. I want to share a thought with you here. Join me if you would in 2 Samuel 19. 2 Samuel 19. This is a story in 2 Samuel 19 about Absalom's death, and David is going to peace, obviously, as a father. In 2 Samuel 19.

In 2 Samuel 19, verse 1, And Joab was told, Behold, the king is weeping and mourning for Absalom. So the victory that day was turned into mourning for all the people, for the people heard it, and that day the king is grieved for his son. Here there had been a major victory. In a sense, even though it's the king's son, the rebel, the traitor, had died, and the victory was Israel's. And the people stole back into the city that day, almost like beaten dogs, as people who are ashamed steal away when they flee into battle. But the king covered his face, and the king cried out with a loud voice these famous lines, Oh, notice my son Absalom, Absalom, my son, my son. Then Joab came into the house to the king and said, Today, this is Joab. Now Joab is the cousin. I get it. But again, remember, sometimes families have the greatest challenge of constructive criticism, one with another. Then Joab came into the house to the king and said, Today you have disgraced all your servants who today have saved your life, the life of your sons and daughters, the lives of your wives, and the lives of your concubines, in that you love your enemies and hate your friends.

For you have declared today that you regard neither princes nor servants. For today I perceive that if Absalom had lived and all of us had died today, then it would have pleased you well. Now therefore, arise, go out, and speak comfort to your servants. And David did. Which leads us to a point.

Stay with me for a second. I used to dwell on this, teach this back 15 or 20 years ago. How do you deal with people then? Four quick things. Number one, if you have a situation with somebody and it's dicey, kind of tough, you go to them. Number one, here's the first point. I'm going to go real simple because we just saw it acted out in this verse. Number one, you go to that individual. You have the courage. You pray. You go to that individual and you go to that individual and you say this. I see Dave down here on the front row. So I'll deal with Dave. Dave, I have a problem.

See, I didn't say he has a problem. I said I have a problem. See, if I said he had a problem, the walls would go up, the moat would fill, and we'd have the alligator release. There'd be no way to get near him. I have a problem. Oh, really? What is that problem? Then he wants to help you, even though he has the problem. Number two, state the problem. State the problem.

That's what Joab did. State the problem. Short Anglo-Saxon state the problem.

Or short Español state the problem. Number three, describe how that problem makes you feel, because feelings are involved here. Feelings are part and parcel being a human being, right? State how it makes you feel, because feelings are involved here. Feelings that you're trying to keep tampered down. Number four, then, last point. State a solution. Don't leave it hanging.

Joab stated the solution. He said, you go out and you be with your troops. And it says a few verses down the line, that night David sat in the gate. Sitting in the gate is where the leaders of Israel would sit in a village or town or an encampment. Own the problem. Expand yourself and be big enough to say, I have a problem. State what the problem is. Don't dance around the elephant that is in the middle of the room between you and another individual. Three, describe how it makes you feel and that you want to reconcile. Any prudent explaining by a Christian is always leading to the outcome of restoration and reconciliation. Not a dead end. Not my way or the highway, but restoration. Finally, Galatians 6, and we'll conclude. I'm not going to see you for a few weeks, so I'm going to just conclude here a moment longer. In Galatians 6, beautiful, beautiful advice here. Join me if you would. If you have not opened up your Bible today, open it up now and allow God's encouragement and spirit to guide us as being a body that is reconciled and moving towards restoration. Wherever you are going to be on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, what your week has been like, or what your life has been like to this moment. In Galatians 6, brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual, not carnal, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted, and bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks himself to be something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one examine his own work.

Whether we have been a complainer, or whether we desire to be an explainer, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.

Let one, as it says here, it says, one that wants to restore to be spiritual, and to be in a spirit of gentleness. Brethren, this can be a crossroads for some of us today in our lives. We are, again, that light that is to be not put underneath a bushel, not worrying about what lies over the hill, but what lies before us in the sphere of our influence, our spouses, our brethren, our children, our grown children, our co-workers, our fellow students. Let's go forth on this day. Let us go into this week with courage and faith that you and I have been called for two soul purposes. Number one, to glorify God in all that we do, in all that we say, in all that we are in our heart. And number two, to be a blessing, a blessing to others.