Creating an Environment for Growth in Your Home

Well, tomorrow we'll be talking about, on the day of Pentecost, the beginning of the Church, the day, the time that God gave His Holy Spirit to the Church for the first time. It was the beginning of a new era, a new covenant, if you will, when God would provide His Spirit to His people. And, of course, we are living in that time, and most of us in this room have been baptized, received God's Holy Spirit, hopefully being led by it, allowing God to lead us and change us, as we've been talking about over the last few weeks. God's Holy Spirit is the most precious thing in our lives. And when God calls us, He very much wants us to follow Him. He very much wants us to live His way of life. And when He calls us, He expects something of us. Just take a second, as I'm talking here, what does God expect of us after we're baptized, when we're called, when we receive His Spirit, when we respond to Him and acknowledge and commit ourselves to Him? He's looking for us to do something the rest of our lives. Yeah, follow Him is one of those things, and certainly an important thing. But in 2 Peter 3, verse 18, Peter tells us, grow. Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Grow. God calls us to a life of growth. And throughout our lives, we grow. We should be growing in our physical abilities. We should be growing, certainly, until the very last day of our lives in our spiritual life.

It was an American author by the name of William Burroughs who said, when you stop growing, you start dying. When you stop growing, you start dying. And as we enter into the day of Pentecost, when the sun sets tonight, what God has called us to is a life of growth. Let's look at a few scriptures here that pertain to that. Back in 1 Peter 2, 1 Peter 2 and verse 1, Peter, who also said this thing about growing in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ in his second epistle, says this in 1 Peter 2, verse 1. Therefore, he says, laying aside all malice, all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and all evil speaking, those things that were our past life, part of what we used to do. As newborn babes, he said, because we are as newborn babes when God calls us, brings us into his truth. In his diary, he says the pure milk of the word that you may grow thereby. And then he says that indeed you have tasted that the Lord is gracious. Grow by that word if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is gracious. If you believe him, if you want what he has offered to us, we must grow. He expects us to grow individually, and he expects us to grow as a body as well. Back in Ephesians 4, where Paul speaks of the church and the body he's put us in and how we develop in that, he says this in verses 12 of Ephesians 4.

Verse 12, after he lists here the positions that are in the church to teach us, it says, for the equipping of the saints, for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, for the work of the service that we do, for the building up of the body of Christ, till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, until we all come to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ. We've all got some room to grow, don't we? Hopefully we're closer today to being more like Christ than we were the day we were baptized, but we have a lot of growing to do right until the day we die. No matter how young we are, no matter how old we are, God has called us to a life of growth. Never time to just say, we've accomplished all we need to, always. Growing, always. Allowing Him to grow us spiritually. Down in verse 15 of the same chapter, He says, Speaking the truth in love, may you grow up in all things into Him who is the Head, Christ. May you grow up into Him, from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effect of working, by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love. He expects us to grow individually. He expects the Church to grow. He expects us to grow in the knowledge. He expects us to grow in unity. He expects us to grow in our ability to relate to one another and develop relationships with one another, to work together to accomplish whatever His will is here in this area or whatever area you live in. That's what He's called us for. Individual growth, the part of a Church and a body that grows as well.

There's a lot of things that a Church can do to help our growth. And here in this area, we've tried to do some of those things. I hope you appreciate some of the things that we're trying to do to help all the body grow together. This year, we're doing the monthly Bible studies that you can do at home that help us all focus on the same thing at the same time, remind ourselves or learn some of the basic principles of the Church, and we'll continue that through the rest of this year, one of those lessons a month. Last year, we did the Bible reading program where we were all reading the same thing.

We may try that again in a year or two and have some discussion groups each week that go along with that. We have Bible studies. We have potlucks that are designed to help the body grow. We have family clubs in the past that help all of us to grow and opportunities to serve that help us all to grow. All those things we do in the Church are designed so that we all grow individually and as a body. Every person doing what God has allowed them to do or called them to do and growing as we are here each week and see each other. But there's individual growth that God is looking for us as well as we are in the body. Let's go back to John 15.

John 15. Christ speaking to his disciples after that last Passover where he instituted all the ordinances that we keep today before he was arrested. He was speaking to the disciples of the Holy Spirit that would come. They didn't understand what he was talking about at that time. But in a few of these verses here in chapter 15, he speaks of the growth and how important it is to God. Verse 1 of chapter 15, he says, I'm the true vine. My father is the vine dresser. Every branch in me, he says, that does not bear fruit, he takes away.

When we plant a tree in the ground, we expect it to grow. If we plant a fruit tree in the ground, we expect that it's going to produce fruit over time. God expects the same thing of us. He expects it. He expects us to grow. And then he says, if that branch doesn't bear fruit, he takes it away. Verse 8, by this, Christ says, by this my father is glorified, that you bear much fruit, that you grow, that the Holy Spirit living in you produces more fruit, fruit that's evident to your family, fruit that's evident to you, fruit that is to the benefit of all the people that you come in contact with, fruit that is to the glory of God. And he finishes that sentence there, that verse with, so you will be my disciples. And we remember what it means to be a disciple. We learn the words of God. We learn his teachings, but we are to become like him, see how he lived his life and live it the same way. The disciple studies the Master as well as his words. And Christ said, if you bear fruit, you'll be my disciples. Then you're studying me, then you're being like me, then you're getting it. Let yourself grow fruit. Let God grow that fruit in you and expect that God will do it, but we must do our part as well. Let's look at Psalm 1.

It's the last verse in this section here. Psalm 1, the Psalm that we sing regularly in church, I think it's been in our hymn book for as long as I've been coming to church. Psalm 1.

Verse 2, speaking of the man that God would bless, he says, his delight is in the law of the eternal. And in God's law, he meditates day and night. Verse 3, he'll be like a tree planted by the rivers of water that bring forth his fruit in its season. Its leaf will not wither, and whatever he does will prosper. A tree, God likens us to, planted by the river with a ready water source, a ready water source that allows that tree to grow much faster than he would on his own. Us, Christ said, abide in me, be attached to him. Let his Holy Spirit flow through us. He expects that we will grow. He expects that we will produce the fruit. He didn't call us to a life of status quo. He called us to grow, in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ, to become more and more like him. On verse 4, he draws the contrast between the tree that grows and those that don't. The ungodly, he says, are not so. They are like the chaff which the wind drives away. They don't have a firm footing. They don't have a firm foundation. What they do is when the wind comes, they fly away. Therefore, the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment nor spenders in the congregation of the righteous. Growth. God wants us to grow. Now, we know from 1 Corinthians 3, you can mark down verses 6 through 8 there. I won't turn to it. You know the verses where Paul says that a polyst watered, Paul planted, a polyst planted, Paul watered, and God provided the increase. It's God who provides the growth in us. It's the Holy Spirit. Without his Holy Spirit, we don't know the things that we know. We don't understand the Bible. We don't produce the fruit of God. It's his Holy Spirit. He provides the growth. But we have to do something about it. We have to plant, we have to water, we have to cultivate that growth. And when we do those things, God provides the growth. Now, back a month ago when we were at the General Conference of Elders, the theme of the conference this year was creating an environment for growth.

And at that conference, what was spoken about a few times is how do we create the environment? Not how do we create growth, but how do we create the environment in local church services that allow people to grow? Because when we come here, we come here for a purpose. God commands us to be here. He expects us to be here, not just to fill a chair, but there is something real that he's doing every time we're here. We have to have the right environment. I listened for you some of the things that we try to do here and more things that we'll do here. I hope you participate in those things because they're designed to create the environment for you and the church here to grow.

I'm not going to talk a lot about the church today. You'll be hearing more about the church. But I want to talk about creating an environment for growth because we all grow as part of this body here. But if all we ever do is come to church here, we're not fulfilling God's will. We need to create and we need to have an environment at home that promotes growth.

We need to make sure that the environment that we are living in day in and day out is an environment that would promote growth. What kind of environment do you live in? Do we live in environments that produce the spiritual growth that God is looking for? And along with the spiritual growth, the physical growth as well. If we have children in our household, they're learning very valuable lessons that are going to help them succeed in life on all levels. What's the environment that we're creating? Now, some people are thinking, I'm past that, I've already created my environment, I don't have to think about that anymore. Wrong. No matter what age you are, we all have a responsibility for the environment that we live in. There's decisions that we make, there's things that we do each day that affect our environment. We're in control of what that environment is like at home, on the job, when we're away from church. That's our job. We make decisions, we make choices, we decide what we're going to do in our time away from church. We create an environment. Is that environment conducive to growth that God will bless what's going on? Or is it an environment that is the antithesis of growth, that is far away or different than what God would expect? It doesn't make any difference whether we're single or married. Even if we're single, we have a home environment. There's a home we go to and a place we call home. There's people that we come in contact with every day, relatives, co-workers, fellow students, neighbors. There's an environment we all live in, whether we are single or whether we are married. There's an environment we live in, whether our spouse is a member of the church or not. And God doesn't excuse us from how we develop that environment because of something, just because of some excuse we have. He expects that we are going to be developing an environment that He works in, that He can grow us in.

And church, which we should be in every week, He commands that supplements what goes on at home. But what is an environment that we're creating at home and in our lives look like? What are the elements that must have that God is going to bless us? Let's go back to Psalm 127.

Psalm 127. Another verse here that is the hymn that we all know very well. We've sung very many times. Psalm 127, verse 1. So that unless the Eternal builds the house, they labor in vain to toil or who build it. Unless God is building that house, unless He is the reason that house is being built, unless He is front and center in that environment that we call home in our everyday lives, we're laboring in vain.

We may want to grow quicker spiritually. We may want and wonder why we aren't, but God says unless He builds the house, unless He is front and center.

Proverbs 1, verse 7. Wisdom, it says, begins with the fear of the Lord. That's the very beginning. We have to grow in grace and knowledge. Wisdom begins with the fear of God. We have to respect Him. We have to be in on Him. We have to see Him as the provider of everything in our life. And He has to be present. He has to be part of that home environment. Before creating an environment for growth at home, God has to be right there. Psalm 111, verse 10, says, a good understanding have they who do or who keep His commandments. A good understanding if they keep or if they do His commandments. In our environment, are the commandments of God something that we consciously do? Are they the law of the land and the environment that we live in? Do we believe in them? Do we follow them? Do we put them as the highest priority that that's what we would obey before our own desires or the things that we do?

If we're creating an environment for growth, God has to be front and center. And His way of life has to be front and center. Ephesians 2. Ephesians 2. When we're building a house, those of you who have built houses before, who have worked in construction, know the principle we'll talk about here. Ephesians 2, verse 20, Paul. And speaking about the church at this case, but also in our personal lives, we can apply this verse. He says, having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, the church, how about our own environment? How about our own home? Built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ Himself being the chief cornerstone. He's the one who holds it all together. If He's not the chief cornerstone, the house isn't going to be sturdy. In whom, going on in verse 21 here, the whole building being fitted together grows, grows into a holy temple in the Lord, in whom you also are being built together for a dwelling place of God and the Spirit. If He has to be there, He has to be front and center. If He's not there, then the environment for growth is not in good shape. Let's look at another thing that our house and our environment must have if we're going to be successful, if we're going to have God bless our efforts. Proverbs 25 and verse 28.

Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down without walls. Well, we don't have much of an environment, do we, if we have no walls around us. If all these walls were here and a thunderstorm came in, we'd all scatter, wouldn't we? We have to have walls, walls help keep all the bad elements out, the bad elements that can distract us, the bad elements that can take our mind off of what we're about, what we should be doing, the elements that can just wander in because there's absolutely no separation between them and our environment. And so, self-control, what Proverbs 25 and 28 here, has to be part of a house and part of the environment. Self-control, a fruit of the Holy Spirit, but something we must develop, that we must ask God to develop if we don't have it. The ability to say no to the things that we know absolutely are not conducive to spiritual growth. The ability to say no and keep those winds out and to keep those influences out and to stay within the walls that we have where God can grow and His Spirit can grow us. Without self-control, we've got an environment that isn't conducive to growth. We must develop it, we must ask God for it, and we must let Him give us the strength of His Holy Spirit to say no to the things, even though we very much want to do it, even though our family very much might want us to do things to say no. In this house, in this environment, we do things God's way. And He comes first because we believe and because we're living our lives that He really is training us. He really is growing us. He really is preparing us. Not something we just say and sounds nice, but something we really believe in allowing Him to work that in our lives and creating the environments so that He can grow us. Having God first, having self-control, doing what we know to be right, even though it goes against our nature, is even though it may be the hardest thing to do.

But over time, we learn to defer to God and do His will first. Let's go back to Deuteronomy 6. Deuteronomy 6, again, verses that we know very well.

And as we're building our house and as we're creating an environment at home, whether we're single, married, whether we have kids at home or don't have kids at home, whether our spouse is in the church or not, the words here in Deuteronomy 6 apply to us. They just don't apply to just moms and dads. They just don't apply to households that have mom and dad both in the church. They don't just apply, or they apply even if we're single.

Deuteronomy 6, let's pick it up in verse 4. He is united in purpose. He and Jesus Christ united in mind, united in what their will is, united in the plan that they formed before the earth began, united in their calling and commitment to you and me, united in the fact that they want you and me in the kingdom.

You shall love the eternal your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. Notice the first verse here. It's not talking about our families. He's directing that verse to you, and He's directing it directly to me, our environment. Whether we're single, whether we're married, whether we have kids or not, you first. You love God with all your hearts, with all your mind, and with all your strength.

You do it. You work with your mates if you have one, and they believe. You believe God. You love Him with all your heart, all your mind, and all your soul. For creating an environment for growth, you, you and me, individuals, you love Him with all your heart, all your mind, all your strength. Verse 6, and these words which I command you today will be in your heart. The words He teaches you, the words He teaches me, they'll be in your heart. They have to be in our hearts first. If we're creating an environment for growth, we must believe.

We must be able to, we must let God write His laws on our minds and in our hearts. They have to become part of us. They have to define us. They have to be who we are. Now, when other people in our environment see us, they know He or she follows God. No, they're not going to do that Friday night because it's their Sabbath, and I know that they are going to keep that wall up.

They're going to protect the Sabbath day the way God intended it to be kept. No, I know they're not going to participate in this thing in work where we are doing things a little bit, maybe under the radar, because what they have shown is that they do things honestly, that they have integrity of heart. I know what they will do because that is what they have shown me. That's the environment they live in. They do things. They don't compromise. What they say they believe is in their heart. It defines them. And God says that to you and me.

The environment we live in starts with you and me. What do we believe? What is written on our heart? God doesn't say, the first thing you do is go to your spouse and ask what's going on with him. Start it with you. What do you believe? Are you letting God write it on your heart? And you know, when we have, when we know God's will, when we understand, when we begin living it, and when we follow it, then we can teach it, can't we? Otherwise, we may just be able to repeat some verses, repeat some lists, and think that that's all we need to do.

But when we sincerely believe something, when we are sincerely letting God change our minds, hearts, and the way we react, people know. Then we can do. When it's become part of us, then what it says here in verse 7, we can begin to teach. You shall diligently teach to your children. You shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.

Not a forced teaching, where we say, okay, it's just eight o'clock in the morning, you're running off to school here in a few minutes, let's repeat the Ten Commandments. We might do that. We might have a Bible study every day with our kids. We hopefully have at least a Bible study with them on Friday evenings.

But God is just a part of your life. What you do is because God expects us to do it. It's become us. We don't have to remember to recite the Ten Commandments. We live the Ten Commandments. When we ask our children if there's children in the house, what are the Ten Commandments, it's great that they can repeat them back in order. But what we really want is them living them, that they don't lie, that they don't hate everyone, that they do put God first. And they understand that if there is a choice between what school wants and what God wants, they choose God because parents have taught them that.

And it doesn't apply this verse just to moms and dads. Whether we're single, whether we're the oldest person in the congregation or the youngest adult here, it applies to all of us.

It's our environment. How do we live in our environment? What defines us? What do we do? What do people know about our environment? If we're single, what defines our environment? Keeping by and living by and abiding by the laws of God? Or is our environment a video game cave? Is it an entertainment haven? Where the most important thing we do in our environment is watch movies, watch TV. Nothing wrong with those things, nothing wrong with video games, nothing wrong with watching TV, depending on the content. But what's the primary thing? If people think of you, what do they think of you? What is your environment?

Whether you're single, married, whether you have kids or not? Part of a lifestyle. Verse 8, you shall bind them as the sign on your hand, so when you go to work, people know what to expect of you. They know the environment that you come from. You don't lie, you don't steal, you don't covet. And there'll be a frontless between your eyes that you let them direct your paths. You don't go veer off because one person says this and another person says this, and here's a quick and easy buck that we can make, even though it's a little low that they're handed. You shall write them on the door post of your house and on your gates. All of us have homes. All of us have apartments, whether we're single or married. What's written on the door post of your house? When people enter here, do they enter an environment where God's law is first and foremost?

Okay, to have other interests, God doesn't say, only never read anything, never have any entertainment, never have anything, any outside interest. But what directs our lives? Is His law written on our door posts? Or is that an afterthought? If we're creating an environment for growth, if we truly want God to grow us and develop us and prepare us for His kingdom, we've got to have a home environment. We've got to have a home environment that reflects the thing. Let's go to Proverbs 19. Knowing the things means a lot. We read the Bible, we remember things, it's good to do the memory scriptures. But if all we ever do is memorize the Bible, all we can do is repeat back scriptures. We're missing the point. We have to do what God teaches us to do, and that needs to be part of our environment. The people around us, the people that live with us, the people that interact with us, see us doing what we say we believe. Proverbs 19 verse 16, He who keeps the commandments keeps His soul, but He who is careless of His ways will die. He who keeps the commandments keeps His soul, but He who is careless of His ways will die.

Are we careless at home? Do we think while we're away from church, no one is going to stop by and see what we're doing today, so we'll just carelessly do things and not pay a whole lot of attention to it? Do we have an environment? That isn't given to compromise. That isn't given to carelessness, but is very careful with the gift God has given us. Very careful with the Holy Spirit, very careful to build a house built on what God would have us do. And that applies to all of us. Young, old, single-married, spouse-dealing church, spouse-out of church. Every one of us has an environment. Every one of us makes decisions that control that environment.

Are we creating an environment where God can grow us?

Let's look at a few minutes and see some things about men and then women. And I'm going to talk about some principles here. This isn't an exhaustive list by any stretch of the imagination, but as God is growing us and as we develop, there are things that He expects us to build into our lives. And I'm not going to talk about love and the things that Mr. Scriber is going to talk about later on this month. I'm going to talk about things that you and I do in our lives now, who we become, and then the things that He will talk about in the seminar on June 28 will supplement what we talk about here today. What does God expect of men? Whether they're a father, whether they're single, whether they're married, whether they're young, or whether they're old. Well, let's go back to Ephesians 6. Ephesians 6, verse 4. Ephesians 6, verse 4.

You fathers, he says. And he says fathers, but you know all of us who are men, the principles that he talks about to fathers, he expects us men to have, whether we have children at home or children at all. And you fathers don't provoke your children to wrath. Now, there's part of us sometimes that can get on people. We can harp on people. We can criticize people. You've had bosses. You may have even had a father who did that, who just provoked you. And the more he criticized what you did and nothing pleased him, the more you just didn't want to do what he had to say at all. Well, there's appropriate time for discipline. There's an appropriate time to teach a child what they need to do. But if our home and in our environment, it's one of provoking other people to wrath. Whether it's a child, whether it's a wife, whether it's a co-worker, whoever it is, not the environment that God would have us be developing, you fathers don't provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. You be responsible for the spiritual upbringing of your children. You make sure that in your home, God's way is taught.

God expects the father, the man, to be the spiritual leader. It's just simply one of the things He expected us to do. And in our environment, He would be the one to ensure that the family is living along the ways that we've talked about already. That He is making sure that God is front and center by His actions, by the things that He does, insisting by His example that the law of God be kept and not carelessly kept in His house. The spiritual leader. Over in 2 Timothy, you find Paul writing to a young man, Timothy, who wasn't married at this time, at least that I'm aware of. 2 Timothy 3 and verse 15. Timothy grew up in the church. Timothy's mom was in the church. Timothy's father wasn't.

But in his house, he was taught the scriptures. Dad wasn't there to do it. Mom stepped in and did it because she wanted to be sure that there was an environment for growth in that house. Verse 15. Paul speaking to Timothy from childhood. You have known the Holy Scriptures.

You've known this. Dad would have done it. Dad should have been responsible for it. In his case, Mom was responsible for it. Which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith, which is in Christ Jesus. And then he goes on to say, all scripture is given by inspiration of God. It's profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness. It encourages us. It corrects us. We look at it, and when we see ourselves, in contrast to what the lay of God is, we take the correction, we make the corrections, and we go on from there. That the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.

Know the Bible. Live by the Bible. Make sure it's front and center of the life. Make sure, in your household, it's the manual that you live by.

And that the people in your environment live by. One chapter back, chapter 2, verse 15.

Paul tells Timothy, be diligent. Be diligent. Not just once a week, not just on Sabbath mornings. Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. Making that your manual. Not day after day after day, allowing I'm running late for work to be the excuse. We all work hard. We all have overtime.

But if God's front and center our life, we'll read, we'll study, we'll make sure that our noses are in that Bible, the words of eternal life. So, men, as we grow up, young men are here, teenagers that are here, that's what God is looking for us to be. The spiritual leaders in our house, take it upon ourselves to be sure that our environment has God front and center. There's something else that he wants men to do. Back in 1 Timothy 5.

1 Timothy 5 verse 8, If anyone doesn't provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Those are some tough words, aren't they? If he doesn't provide for his own, if dad doesn't work, if dad's not out making sure the family has what it needs.

And I'm not talking about when we're retired. Even in Numbers 8, you see that the priest, Scott provided for retirement. But in his life, if dad's not the worker, if he's not working, and whatever it is in his environment he needs to do, it says he's worse than an unbeliever. Those are tough words and has denied the faith. So God expects men to be workers. Whatever the profession, whatever in your family you have done, God expects that you're not just letting grass grow under your feet, but that we have something that is consuming our time, goals that we are working to, doing the work that makes the family better and feeling the responsibility for that.

Over in Proverbs 20, Proverbs 20 and verse 4, the principle here says, the lazy man will not plow because of winter.

Well, it says lazy man, but it doesn't really say lazy man, but here's someone who always has an excuse. I can't get a job because of this. It's not the salary I want. It's not the position that I want. They want me to work on hours that I can't be there. It's too far. The hours are too long. I want to work during the day and I don't want to work in the evenings. Always an excuse.

God says the lazy man will not plow because of winter. Always an excuse. He will beg during harvest and says, and have nothing. God expects us, as men, to be workers, and not to always look for ways out of work, but to do what's expected of us, that the family needs, that we're providing and making sure the family, we're providing for the family what it needs, creating the environment for growth. And if we're shirking those responsibilities in some way, if we always have an excuse, then we might want to look at the environment we end. We might want to make some decisions. We might want to get that environment in order. You know, working is a godly thing.

And I know, let me, you know, I mentioned retirement. I know there's physical reasons people can't work and I'm not talking about that. Someone who's able-bodied, who is looking not to work and looking for ways out of it, is what God is talking about here. In John 5 verse 17, it says in that verse, Christ speaking, my father works until now and Christ said, I work. If there's anyone who doesn't need to work, it would be God. He's existed for infinity. We can't even imagine that he has no end or he has no beginning and he has no end. He's been working, he's been working, he still works. He's still working a plan today. He's still working in your and my life. Jesus Christ came to earth. He gave up being God so that he could be a human being. He worked during that whole time. He's still working today. It's a good thing to work. It's a godly attribute. And it's not just for men. If you read through Proverbs 31, women, you see that women work too. It's not a life of ease that God called women to. If you read the Proverbs 31, woman, she's working hard. She may not be out in the minefields and she may not be out in the everyday life of where we work as men, but she works hard. And she's not shirking her duty. She's making sure that her family has what she needs. Part of our environment has to include that we work. And that includes our children too.

They have their jobs to do. They need to be at school. They need to be growing. They need to be doing the things that they need to do. So they're in an environment that they grow up into adults who follow the same principles to the same God and hopefully create the same environment in their home that we have. If it's an environment for growth. So God expects men, be the spiritual leader of your house. Know the Bible. Read the Bible. Study the Bible. Lead your family in that way. And work. And work. That may include a skill that we do. It may be whatever we do to make our family run. God isn't saying, don't work. He doesn't say, don't have any education. He's saying just the opposite. Have a skill. And what you do with that skill, do well. Turn back to Psalm 78. Psalm 78 verse 72. David was a man. King David was a man after God's own heart.

He was anointed. He was anointed a king when he was young. Before that, he was a shepherd in the field. He worked all the days of his life. Psalm 78 verse 72. David. So David shepherded them according to the integrity of his heart. He came to know God's law. He lived God's law. He was God's law. The way he lived. And when people saw King David, they knew what he meant. He made some huge mistakes early in his life. But when he turned his life around, he wasn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination. But God said he became a man after his own heart. He shepherded them according to the integrity of his heart. He guided them by the skillfulness of his hands.

He knew what to do. He learned it. And he did it well.

Let's go back to Coligians 3 and see another thing that God would expect men to do and a model in their environment. Coligians 3. Coligians 3 verse 22.

In Coligians 3, Paul is speaking of the marriage relationship again. If we're not married, sometimes we can read over these verses and say, it doesn't apply to me. It applies. Everything that God expects the husband to do, he expects the man to be doing in his life as well. Coligians 3 verse 22. We all have been employees. We all have masters. Someone we work through. Verse 22. Bond servants, let's say, employees. To today's life, employees. Obey in all things your masters according to the flesh. Not with eye service as men pleasers, but as the serendy of heart, fearing God. And whatever you do, do it heartily. Not as to God and not to men. What he's saying here is, if you've got a boss, respect him. Don't just be nice to his face and then as you walk away from him, roll your eyes, go out to lunch with your buddies, talk about what a jerk he is. He doesn't know what he's doing. If you were running the shift, he would be able to do it so much more than him. Things we've all done, I've done it in my life, too. Where he kind of thought, ah, the boss just doesn't really know what he's doing.

Not an environment. Not an environment, or part of the environment God would want us to have. He says, Obey in all things your masters, not just with thy service, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God. I'm not talking about if he asks you to do something illegal or immoral, but if he asks you to do something, you should call him respect. Be respectful of authority.

In 1 Peter 2, Peter talks about the same concept. 1 Peter 2, verse 18. In 1 Peter 2, verse 18. Servants, let's just say employees again. Employees, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh. Ah! My boss treats me awful. He screams at me, he yells at me, he expects too much.

I've worked for some pretty hard bosses early on in my life, but I watched when I got there, and I watched people who would kind of develop an attitude toward them, and I watched that boss dismantle them in a way I didn't know was possible. With words, and I learned pretty close on, he's pretty harsh. What I'm going to do is exactly what he says, because I don't want me up on that platform the next time. And God says, be submissive to your masters, not only to the good and gentle, also to the harsh, for this is commendable if because of conscience toward God one endures grief.

We may have a tough taskmaster. He may make our lives tough. Respect him anyway. Respect the authority that God has put over you.

A couple of verses up in the same chapter of verse 13. Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake, whether to the king as supreme or to governors as to those who are sent by him for the punishment of the evildoers and for the praise of those who do good. Submit yourself to authority. It's God who's put that authority over you. Learn to submit. Do your best. Learn. Don't be afraid of promotions. It's not wrong to want to do more, but respect the authority that's put over you. That's part of the environment that God wants in our homes.

Not thinking that we know more. Not thinking we could do better. Maybe we could do better. Let God bring that about in your life. When we model respect for authority at home, whether we have children, whether we're old, whether we're young, whether we're single, whether we're married, we're making a big statement, and we're showing others what God's way is. Women. We'll get to women a little bit longer. We see that the same concept applies, but let's keep on men for a while. Let's go back to Colossians 3.

Colossians 3, verse 19. Again, we're in a chapter here where God is talking about husbands and wives in the marriage relationship, but we learned some things again about men and what God expects of us to be in life, even in these verses here. Colossians 3, verse 19. Husbands love your wives.

Well, later on, in June 28, you'll hear more about love and how you would love your wives. Certainly, it's a command from God. And don't be bitter toward them. Well, you know, we can be bitter against our spouse. We can look at some things they do, and maybe they've got some things they do that just frankly irritate us.

And if we focus on that—and women, I know, there are some things about your husbands that irritate you—and if we focus on that, and if we let the bitterness—like, they won't do what I say, I just don't want to talk to them anymore. Over time, that bitterness erases love. That's not the environment for growth.

And it's not just bitterness toward a husband or wife. It's bitterness at all. Hebrews 12, 15 says, don't even let that root of bitterness begin, because some people have allowed that root of bitterness to develop in their lives, and because they didn't erase it from their life, it cost them their spiritual life.

Bitterness, inside or outside of marriage, is wrong. Men don't be bitter. Don't let that happen in your life. If you see it happening, let it go. Ask God to give you the strength not to be bitter. Let's go over to 1 Peter 3. Peter's admonition to husbands. 1 Peter 3, verse 7.

Husbands, likewise dwell with them with understanding. Well, it's an important principle in marriage. Women don't think the way we think. We men think. And we men don't think the way women think. And sometimes, don't think it just seems so black and white that we can make a snap judgment on something and just say, that's just not the way it's going to be. I don't want to do it that way. I don't want any part of that. Boom, boom, boom. And then we wonder why wife isn't happy. Why she's not talking. Why she feels not valued and not loved.

Years ago, I read a book that probably many of you read by Stephen Covey, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Remember that book?

The thing I remember most out of that book is the principle where he said, speak first to understand. And when I read that chapter on that, it opened my mind to something, not just regarding wife and relationships, but in every area of life. People do things for a reason. People have backgrounds that we may not understand. I know just in counseling that I've done in the short times that I've been a pastor. I can go in with a preconceived notion of what's going on, but then when I listen to what's going on, I begin to see what the background is, what people are thinking, why they've come to the conclusion they did, why they're in the situation they're in. And after that, it's a far different conversation than if I just go in there with my preconceived notion. In marriage, we have to do that. We have to seek and understand. Let our wives talk. Don't just lay out the law and say, you've got to do exactly what I say and only the way I say it. Listen. Seek to understand. But it's a principle that applies to us whether we're married, whether we're young, whether we're old, or whether we have children, or whether we don't. Seek first to understand. Get to know what you're talking about. Give people the time to listen. On the job, in your house, children, understand what's going on. Your life will be much better, and you'll be a much more effective leader. Paul says here, applied in marriage, I'd say that it better be part of the environment that we have at home and the environments that we walk in every day if God's going to grow us.

It's still on. He says in verse 7 here, give honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel.

Well, we teach our children how to treat women. By the way, we treat our wives. If they see us just yelling at them, ignoring them, giving them orders and commands, they're probably not going to value women very much either. Again, part of the environment we live in, whether we're married or not, is we would respect the opposite sex as the weaker vessel, going on as being heirs together of the grace of life.

Being heirs together of the grace of life.

Our wives, women will be in the kingdom as well. God's not just calling men. It's just not men that will have the position in the kingdom. It'll be women, too. In this life, they have a different road, a different responsibility, a different environment that they build in their homes, based on what the Bible says, in concert with a husband or whether they are single, becoming what God wants them to be, fulfilling that role. Being heirs together in the kingdom. If we develop a culture that we just look down on the wife as meaningless, unnecessary, we don't love them. You know what? God does. And they will be in the kingdom. They will have a position. And the culture and the environment we live in should recognize that. And then the last phrase there, verse 7, tells us that these things we do as men, as husbands, young, old, with kids or not with kids, he says, do these things. That's your prayers. Be not hindered.

We don't want our prayers hindered.

We're here to grow. We're here to let God direct our lives, to feed us through the Holy Spirit, to grow us. You know, if we sin, if we break one of those commandments, it separates us from God. But if we violate relationship principles, who God is growing us to be, our prayers are hindered, too.

He expects that in our environment at home, we're paying attention to the principles of who we are, what we should be, who we are to become, the models that he wants us to grow up to be.

So, men, are we developing the environment for growth? Do we live in an environment of growth, that God will promote the growth? Let's look at women. Let's look at Titus 2.

Titus 2, verse 3. Titus is a good book to read. Titus 2 talks about older men, younger men, older women, younger women, the type of things that God expects us to be doing in the roles that he has put us in. Verse 3, chapter 2, the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not splanderers, not giving them much wine, teachers of good things, that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, all these things that are in the role model, the job description, the environment that women should be looking to build in their homes, along with their husbands, if he's there with them. Why? That the Word of God may not be blasphemed.

That in your environment, the environment that you're creating at home, by the choices you make, by the way you live your life, that the way of God or the Word of God will not be outblasting.

Verse 3.

Again, here we are in chapter where Peter is talking to husbands and wives, but again, we find out some principles of what the environment is like for women, whether you're married, whether you're young, whether you're old, whether you have kids or whether you don't, whether your husband is in the church or not. Lives, chapter 3. Verse 1. It's a powerful verse. You create the environment. You may not be able to create the environment he is, but you create the environment at home. That when he sees the text of what you do, that he may be won over, if it is God's will, by your conduct. When they observe your chaste conduct, accompanied by fear, that what you do, you put God first. They see that. They appreciate it. They may not all be called. It's God's decision, not ours. But you can create the environment. And if God chooses to provide that growth, then it's a blessing to you. And then in verse 3. Don't let your adornment be merely outward, arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel. What does it say that it's wrong to do those things? There's nothing wrong with combing your hair. There's nothing wrong with wearing jewelry. There's nothing wrong with wearing fine apparel. That's appropriate. That's fine. But he's saying, don't let your environment dictate that that's the most important thing that you do, that you're more concerned about the outward appearance than anything else that you do in life. Thinking that if people just look at you as good, that's enough. No, no, no. People can see through that as they know you. In your environment, the people that know you, husband, co-workers, friends, neighbors. He says, verse 4, rather let it be the hidden person of the heart. That's what's going to shine through. You can do those other things, but the true beauty is going to come from the heart. Again, let it be in your heart. Not just repeat back verses, but let God change you, mold you into who He wants you to be, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

A gentle and quiet spirit. God doesn't say here that women can't have opinions. They can. They should. He doesn't say that they should not talk. They should. But a gentle and quiet spirit. You've been in environments where you've heard women. I've heard them in grocery stores. Sometimes I go shopping, and my mind boggles sometimes. When I hear women talk to their husbands or their kids, in a tone of voice, that just rattles me, and I don't even know them. I just think, what would it be like if I was living in that house all the time? I think it's Proverbs 21. It talks about it would be better to live on a corner of a roof than in a house with a contentious woman. Well, don't let that be your environment. Don't challenge everything your husband says. Be respectful. We'll get to that in a minute. But it doesn't mean you never have an opinion. It doesn't mean what husbands shouldn't take into account. Heirs together.

Being one is part of marriage. Heirs together of the kingdom of God. Working together, growing together, women, this applies whether you're married or not married. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves. Being submissive to their own husbands is Sarah Oveid Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are if you do good, and are not afraid with any terror. Do those things. Be like that. Create that environment in your house for your people to see, for your husband, for your children, for your friends, neighbors, or whatever your environment entails. Let's go back to Proverbs 31 for just a few minutes here. Proverbs 31. Proverbs 31, a tremendous chapter where women can learn what God sees them doing or what role they will grow into. Because this wasn't Proverbs 31. This isn't on day one of marriage. This is as she's gone through life, which she's developed. As you read it, you realize she has a Proverbs 31 husband. If you don't see that, send me an email. I've got an essay that was written by someone years ago that chose the Proverbs 31 husband here in the pages of the Proverbs 31 wife. Let's look at verse 25. Let's look at what the woman that God would have you be in your environment is. Strength and honor are her clothing. Strength and honor. Not weak, not a mouse, not someone who just sits in the back and is never so allowed to say anything. Strength and honor are her clothing. She's no rejoicing time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom. Where does wisdom come from? It begins with the fear of God. She's reading the Bible. She's dividing it daily. She understands the principles there. She's creating it and making it part of her environment. And on her tongue is the law of kindness. She's not eating the bread of idleness either. She watches over the ways of her household. She's concerned with husbands. She's concerned with children. She's concerned with people outside the home. Verses 20 and 21, she's looking at the poor and needy. She's got a watchful eye on what the needs are, and she doesn't breathe. Eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed. What a commendation that is. Mom, she's blessed. Look at the next sentence. Her husband also, and he praises her.

Her husband calls her blessed. He sees what she's doing. Children see what he's doing. Children see the attitude he has to her. Friends see the attitude he has toward her. And they call her blessed. Many daughters have done well, but you expel them all. Charm is deceitful, beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the eternal, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise her in the gates.

God is looking for women to do something too. They have a hand in creating their environment. Service is part of it. I won't get into that. We know that Jesus Christ didn't come to be third, but too served. Service needs to be part of our environment. Let's go back to Ephesians 5.

Ephesians 5, verse 33. This is the Great, verse 33, I'm sorry. Ephesians 5, verse 33. Nevertheless, Paul writes, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and make sure she knows she's loved in the way that a woman sees love, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. That has to be part of the environment. Husband love wife, respect husband. In a godly environment, that happens. Let me read you a story here. As you go onto the internet and you're looking for things to support, you can come across some stories. This one was pointing into this. I was putting this sermon together. It was written by a teacher who had to go over to one of her students' houses. This was written many years ago, which you'll be able to tell by the way she writes it. And she encountered something in the house that she didn't expect. And then she recorded it as a lesson for her parents. So as the teacher went over to visit one of her pupils one afternoon, the family had immigrated only five years earlier from the home country. The mother was warm and friendly. Even her house exuded hospitality. What was most impressive, though, was the woman's constant references to her husband. Whenever there was a lull in the conversation, a little four-year-old boy would ask, is it almost time for Papa to come home? Later, the other children came in from school, greeted me politely, and went to their chores. The oldest daughter said, I'm going to start some of Papa's favorite muffins for supper.

As I got up to leave, Katrina, the student's name, said, can't you just wait a few more moments and meet Papa? By this time, the teacher was very curious about this remarkable man who commanded such love and respect from all of his family. The stock of meeting Papa, she writes, was almost too much for me to bear. Instead of a well-dressed man of brilliant speech, a small man, twisting nervously at his mustache and talking in the broken accident of his native tongue, greeted the teacher of his little daughter. For some time, I pondered the mystery of this man's place in his home, and suddenly it dawned on me. It's not who or what the father is personally, but the mother's attitude toward him that makes all the difference. A husband can only take their proper place at the head of the house when wives respect and honor their wishes, thereby giving their children the desire to do likewise. Part of the environment. Part of the environment in a marriage of two people working together. Part of an environment that we need to be developing if we want God to grow us. From another author, he says, children learn submission from the mother, not the father. Children learn headship from the father, not the mother. Therefore, the key point for children who must first learn to submit is to imitate the submission style of the mother to her husband. If she shows an example of insubordination to her head, then the children learn this from their mother and treat her the same way. They treat him the same way, but they treat her the same way. After all, the children think that is the normal way you submit to authority. They are merely doing what the mother taught them.

Creating an environment for growth at home. Even though it may be hard to do some of these things, if we want God to grow us, we simply have to do it. We have to create the environment. We have to make the choices. We have to do the things that God asked us to do. We have to model ourselves after the words of this Bible, not compromising, not just picking and choosing the things we want to do, but all of it over our time. Whether we're young, whether we're old, whether we're married, whether we're single, whether our spouse is in the church, or whether he isn't, or she isn't, whether we're single, or whether we're married. It applies to all of us. We all have an environment that God wants us to create. It should be centered in this Bible and growing each year as we learn more and more about it. Let's conclude in Malachi 2. What is God doing? Well, we know that God wants us in His kingdom. He wants us to become like Him. We know that. We talk about it. His Holy Spirit in us leads us to become more and more like Him. Malachi 2, verse 15. Didn't He make them one, having remnants of the Spirit? We can apply this to ourselves and our personal environments at home, into the church as well. Didn't He make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. He wants people to grow up to be like Him. He wants us all to grow, and He wants us to be living in an environment that He can bless us. Let Him, let Him grow you in the environment you create.