Having a Spirit Filled Marriage

I've been giving a series on marriage, and I've been talking about how to have a spirit-level marriage, and how our marriages ought to be elevated to the God-playing level. Husband and wives are to cleave to one another, as the Bible says. They're to bond, they're to be glued, they're to be welded together, not clashing. And to cleave, in order to cleave, we've got to desire it.

We need to ask God to help us to have this as a fundamental approach. We need to love one another deeply, and then we need to submit. And we want to touch on that topic today. Would it be easier for a woman to submit to her husband if he were Jesus Christ? Now, look at your husband. If he were Jesus Christ, would you have it made?

Well, part of the answer depends on if you knew he were Jesus Christ. What if he were Christ, and he didn't let you know? Now, that might put a little different slant on it. God did marry in the Old Testament. He married ancient Israel. Did she obey? The answer is no, she didn't. She was constantly rebelling against a perfect husband. I mean, he did everything for you. He provided everything. He nourished her. He cherished her. He looked after her. He said, I don't care what you need. I'll take care of it. And he promised to eliminate sickness, illness, provide food, clothing, shelter, that they'd have healthy children.

Everything that you could think of. What was the problem? Well, the problem was the woman didn't have God's Spirit, is what the problem was. And she was not willing to submit to God, especially from the heart, and with her whole being. Now, back in Hebrews 8, we've read this scripture here recently, but Hebrews 8, verses 7 and 8, we find this, Hebrews 8, verses 7 and 8.

For if the first covenant had been faultless, then no place would have been sought for the second. Because finding fault with the wife, it says with them, but that was the wife in the relationship. He said, Behold, the days are coming, says the Lord, that I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah. Not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day when I took them by the hand, to lead them out of the land of Egypt, because they did not continue in my covenant.

In verse 10, this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days. It says, The Lord, I will put my laws in their mind, write them in their hearts, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Now, in the Old Testament, God's law was not written in their hearts. And so therefore, even though they had God as their husband, they still were not willing to obey. They desired all of the other gods around them, the pagan gods. They wanted to follow the nations around them. They wanted their type of government.

They wanted their type of rule. They wanted their system. It takes the Spirit of God to obey from the heart and to be able to submit willingly. It's not just something that we're born with. The relationship between human beings are guided by spiritual principles. Submission is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. It is also a fruit or an outgrowth of humility. A person who has humility will begin to develop a submissive approach. Submission is not a fruit of human nature. Rebellion. I want my way. You know, I did it my way. You know, the old song. You know, people want to do things their way.

And anybody gets in the way? Well, that's too bad. So how do you submit? What is submission? What are the principles of spiritual relationships that wives should follow? Well, in Ephesians 5.22, somehow you knew we would come back here. Ephesians 5.22. Let's notice to begin with, Wives submit to your own husband as to the Lord. Now, let me just hasten to add something that I think is important to state. This is not the only principle in marriage. I mean, it's a major one for women, but it's not the only principle. I mean, I could cite any number of scriptures that deal with marriage that show that there are a number of things, and actually we'll cover some of those as we go through the sermon.

But it does say here, wives submit to your own husband as to the Lord. And as we found out in verse 25, the husband is to love his wife just as Christ loved the church. The word submit is a very interesting word. It means submit. I mean, it is not some vague word. It is hypo, which means under, tasso. And the word means to arrange under, to subordinate, to subject, to subject oneself, to obey, to submit one's control, to yield.

In addition, it is a Greek military term, meaning to arrange the troops, or to arrange the divisions of troops in a military fashion under a commander or a leader. In non-military use, it was a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden. So you'll find that in all cases, the word has to do with submitting, being under authority.

Now, the reason for a wife being willing to subject herself is, I think, indicative of this whole passage here in chapter 5. It's found in the relationship of headship. In the Mary, Jr., the husband holds the same relationship. Namely, he is the head, as Christ holds to the church. And so, the headship of one represents the headship of the other. But I want you to notice, in a non-military setting, now, how many of you live in a military setting? I don't think most of you who are married would consider yourself in a military setting. He's the general. I'm the private. It doesn't work that way. Notice, in a non-military use, it was a voluntary attitude of giving in. A husband cannot force a woman to be under his authority or headship, can he? I mean, he can beat you over the head all day long. And if you don't want to submit, you're not going to submit. You can beat him over his head all day long. And if he doesn't want to love you, he's not going to love you. You can't make somebody love you. You've got to love me. If you don't love me, I'll punch you in the nose. It doesn't work that way. You can't come to a wife and say, you've got to submit. I'm the husband, and you must submit. Submit. Again, it doesn't work that way. It is voluntary. Why would a woman volunteer to put herself under a man's authority? Why would she do that? Maybe I should go around the room here and ask the question. I think we would get some startling answers if we did. It would be a little different than maybe we men would think. Why would she volunteer to do that? Well, I think because of the love and respect and the treatment that her husband gives her. That's why. Because she knows that she has a man who truly loves her, who's deeply committed to her, who is one who is looking after her well-being, who nourishes her and cherishes her. And so she submits to him. Yet, she is commanded to do it. I mean, this is a command, just like it's a command for a man to love his wife. So the wives are told, submit. But if she does it willingly, and she will want to do it willingly if her husband loves her and treats her properly. So do you see the synergistic effect that takes place in a marriage? If a man wants his wife to be the right type of wife, he's got to be the right type of husband. And vice versa. If the wife wants the husband to be the right type of husband, she's got to be the right type of wife. And the two go together. Notice Webster's definition of submit. It means to lure, to yield to governance or authority, to commit to another for decisions or judgment. The antonym, the opposite. Sometimes it's good to know what the opposite is, is to resist, to withstand, to oppose independence. Now today we find a lot said about women being independent, and they're not going to subject themselves to any man. We know that the absence of government is anarchy, and no society can survive under anarchy. The same is true in the home. There must be a head and there must be obedience to that head. God ordained that the place of headship be given to the man.

Now you women might ask, why the man? Why couldn't God have given it to me?

Then I would have shown him, and you would have been in charge. But let's put it this way.

God is the one who set up the family structure. God ordained us, male, female. God created the family structure, and it is God who has set the laws in motion. God ordained the place of headship and said that it should be given to the man. Now how do we know this? Well, the Bible indicates this by creating the man first, and then creating woman for the man, to help the man. Thus both in the order and the purpose of creation, he put man in the place of authority, and the woman in the place of submission. Now I would have to say that down through the last six thousand years, mostly that has been abused. Men have looked on women as second-class, chattel, property. You go back and you read how the Romans thought of women, how the Jews, in many cases, thought of women, how the Greeks thought of women, how they were treated in the Babylonian society in Syria. I mean, any society you want to look at, and you find that women have been abused. Men, by the very fact that they are bigger, stronger, have abused women. That is not the way God ordained it. That's not the way God wanted marriage to be. That's not the way God wants us to deal with one another. Submission never implies that a woman is inferior.

Inferiority is not the issue, and yet that's what many assume when it comes to, well, if I'm not in charge or if I'm not the one who's responsible, I must be inferior.

Jesus Christ is submissive to the Father, but He's not an inferior being. They're both on the God level, but the Father is in charge, and Christ has made that very plain that the Father is in charge. Neither is a woman inferior to the man. In fact, in many ways, she's superior.

I don't want to shock any men, but in many ways, your wife has abilities and talents and skills that are superior to yours in devotion, in sympathy, in empathy, in diligence, in endurance.

I would not want to go through what a wife goes through and having children. Raring those children, changing diapers day in and day out, feeding, rearing you, dealing with the family, and yet, God has designed the woman, her psychic, her makeup, to respond to that and to love those children and to be directed in that way. Wives are commanded to submit to their own husbands as to the Lord. Let's go back here to Ephesians 5 again. Wives submit to your own husband as to the Lord. Or you have to submit to the Lord. That's true of all of us. So a wife has to submit to her husband. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body. So Christ is the head of the church, he's responsible for the church, and God is placed the man is the head of the family. But God, you know, anytime you talk about the subject of submission, you have to add so many qualifiers simply because, I know because I've given sermons before and some men go away with the idea, I'm in charge, macho man, you know, I can tell this woman to jump and she's got to jump. I've got to tell her to crawl and she's got to crawl. And I've got to tell her, about that time, I ready to take two by four and bopping over the head with it because that's not actual, but I mean, that's not the purpose of the sermon. That's not what God says. And brethren, what I want to try to convey to all of us is that there is a godly approach. There's a godly way that the Bible brings out on how a marital relationship should be. We submit to Jesus Christ, do we not? He is the head of the church. And yet, He serves us. Jesus Christ serves the church. He looks after the church and He looks after our needs. He gives to us. He is our helper. You can go back through all kinds of scriptures in the Bible and it talks about the same word where it talks about a woman being a help-meet. It's the same word that's used where in the Old Testament, throughout the Psalms, where David said, the Lord is my helper. God helps me. He comes to my aid. He assists me. And so you find that there is a service in this way.

The wife submits by honoring her husband as the head and by following his leadership.

One definition of submission in marriage is this. Submission is a divine calling of a woman or a wife to honor and affirm her husband's leadership and to help carry it through according to the gifts that she has. Because all of you have gifts, talents, and abilities. Let's go over here to Colossians chapter 3, verse 18. Colossians 3, 18, where we find Paul again writes, wives submit to your own husband.

As is fitting in the Lord. This is fitting. This is right. This is good. Nothing wrong with this. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. So a man is not to be bitter toward his wife, but to love her. A man is to be the head, and head carries responsibility with it. When you say a head, a head of a corporation, a CEO of an organization, anyone who is president has a responsibility and a duty to carry out certain things. And so, head just doesn't mean I'm the head, so here I am and all you servants down there have got to serve me. No, a headship carries responsibility. Man is to be the head, to lead and serve his wife. He's not to domineer his wife. Too often in the past, I've seen men who thought, well, you know, the Bible gives me the authority to domineer. The word domineer means to be overbearing, a tyrant, to be arbitrary in authority. What I mean by arbitrary? Well, you do it because I say so, not because there's any reason. You know, I just say so, so you do it.

Other words that describe domineering are oppressive, dictate, bully, intimidate, browbeat, and persecute. Well, none of us as men want to rule our wives in that way. No woman wants her husband to be that way. A man does not have the right to abuse or misuse his wife in any way. Now, I remember, my wife remembers very vividly a gentleman, I'll use that term, a man, who told us that he never abused his wife.

And yet, he took a hammer to her piano, busted all the keys up, took her favorite dress and took a pair of scissors and cut the bottom off of it, took all of her jewelry that was gold and melded down into one pile. Where she worked, he didn't like her boss, so he got in his car and backed up and rammed his car into the side of his boss's brand new car, did it two or three times.

Drove down the road, found his wife sitting in a traffic light and let all the air out of her tires, took a sledgehammer to her windshield, cut her front seats up on her car, and yet he wasn't abusive. Now, a woman doesn't have to put up with that. That's obviously an extreme. But in our society today, it's calculated that one out of four women are abused. And generally, we're talking about physical abuse. Or maybe they are beaten up, black eye, broken bones.

Over the years, I have run into all types of situations like this. You find that God has not said that a woman has to stay in a situation like that. And again, submitting doesn't mean that the woman is inferior. It's a matter of learning to be under authority. Women are not meant to be second-class citizens or to be subservient. The word subservient means to be in an inferior capacity, slavish, showing extreme compliance. I know of men who will not let their wives go out of the house, not let their wives go shopping. You know, I'll do the shopping. You just stay here, and the wife is treated almost like a slave. Now, let's notice in Titus chapter 2, there are further instructions given in the New Testament on marital relationship. Titus 2, verses 4 and 5.

Well, verse 3 says, the older women likewise that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given the much wine, teachers of good things, that they admonish the young women to love their husbands. So here we find, not only do husbands have to love their wives, but wives love their husbands and to love their children, to be discreet, to be chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands. So again, you find obedience in there, that the Word of God may not be blaspheme. Now, it talks here about being a homemaker. The word means to care for the house, to care for the home, to care for the family.

But in God's, let's say, perspective, He created the family, and it's basically the responsibility of the woman to care for the home and the family. Too often today, we find as soon as a baby is born, two or three months later, the wife goes back to work, the baby's put in daycare, and there may be four, five, six different people watching that child. There's no one that the child is bonding with. And brethren, I realize that there are sometimes situations where maybe, you know, there's a divorce, a single woman has to work to help take care of her family. But if it is all possible, the best situation until those children are in school is for the wife to be home, to look after those children, to take care of them. 1 Timothy 5, verse 14, says this, do not, excuse me, verse 14, says, therefore I desire that the younger women marry or widows marry, their children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully, for some have already turned aside after Satan. Now, the word here, manage the house, or guide the house, I think King James Version, means to be master of a house, to rule the household, to manage the family affairs. So far from being a job that is a lower class job, what greater responsibility is there than rearing the next generation of children, next generation that's going to come along, in training them, in right values, training them in the way that they should go? You find that part of the problem we have today in society is that there too often is no one there really doing that, in training, in teaching, in guiding. You find in Proverbs 31, talking about the virtuous woman in verse 10, Proverbs 31, that she's an individual who goes all over the place to take care of her family. She is a very industrious individual. It says, who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her so that he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax and willingly works with her hands. She's like the merchant ship. She brings her food from afar. She arises while she at night and provides food for her household. And then it goes on to talk about her. You'll find that the virtuous woman is very industrious. She looks after the needs of her family.

Clothing, food, to make sure that they eat properly, that they're dressed properly.

Now, we could read this whole section, but I think you're very familiar with it. I just cite it as an example that if a wife gets out and she goes here looking for bargains, she goes over there, trying to find the things that would be good for her family as far as food and clothing. She's certainly following the principle that we see here. In 1 Corinthians 11, beginning in verse 3, Paul begins to describe here a family.

1 Corinthians 3, and the reason for headship.

I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ.

So everybody is under authority. The head of the man is Christ. The head of the woman is man. And the head of Christ is God. So there's the Father, there's Christ, there's man, there's the woman, there are children. Every man praying or prophesying having his head covers dishonors his head. Who's his head? That's Christ. If you have your head covered, meaning long hair, you dishonor Christ. Every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered that means her hair cut short so she looks like a man, dishonors her head. Who is her head? Her husband. For that is one and the same as if her head were shaved. He says she might as well go ahead and shave her head. For if a woman is not covered, meaning if she doesn't have long hair, let her also be shorn. But it is a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaved. Let her be covered.

For a man, indeed, ought not to cover his head, again long hair, since he is the image and the glory of God, but the woman is the glory of the man. So the woman reflects the man, the man reflects his head. For the man is not from the woman, but the woman is from the man. In other words, originally, God himself created the man, took from the man a rib and flesh, and he created the woman. The woman was from the man. Nor was man created for the woman, but the woman for the man. So God ordained that the woman would be there for the man. Or as I said last week, we need help. So she's there as a helper to assist. For this reason, women ought to have a symbol of authority on their head because of the angels. Now apparently, if a woman decides that she's not going to comply with this, then you find that she does not apparently have the protection of the angelic host. It says here, because of the angels. Nevertheless, neither is the man independent of a woman, nor women independent of men in the Lord. For as woman came from man, even so, man also comes through the woman. Hey, there's only one woman who came from a man. The rest of us come from women, right? We're born of our mothers. But all things are from God. Judge among yourselves, is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? Does not even nature itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a dishonor for him. He has long hair. But if a woman has long hair, it is a glory for her. For her hair is given her for a covering.

So the covering being talked here is the hair. So the long hair, we're not talking about never cutting the hair, not talking about hair down to your waist or to your knees or to your ankles. But we're talking about if you look at a woman, you can tell that she's a woman. You look at a man, you can tell he's a man. And there's a basic guideline. It says, if anyone seems to be contentious, we have no such custom nor do the churches of God.

So, brethren, what we find is that God has ordained, and this is very clear here, that even by the fact that a woman has longer hair, shows that she is willing to be under the authority of her husband. A man with the shorter hair shows that he's willing to be under the authority of Christ. And Christ, there's never any question about him being under the authority of the Father. Why do we have government in the home? Why is the man in charge the head?

Well, sometimes people will say, it's because of carnality. You've got to have government because of carnality. Is that the reason we have government? Because of carnality?

No, that's not the reason why. I'm not saying that all of us aren't carnal from time to time, and maybe have to be dealt with. But why is there government in the church? Why do we have government in the church? Isn't it for harmony, unity, that things could be done decently and in order, that there not be confusion? When you have 20 different people trying to tell you what to do, eventually somebody's got to step up and say, this is it. This is what we're going to do so that there's no confusion and those type of problems. Jesus Christ is under authority. Notice over here in chapter 15, the book of 1 Corinthians, verse 25. 1 Corinthians 15, 25. For he must reign till he has put all enemies under his feet, and the last enemy that shall be destroyed is death. For he has put all things under his feet, but when he says all things are under him, it is evident that he who put all things under him is accepted. The Father is accepted. The Father is not under Christ's authority. Now when all things are made subject to him, then the Son Himself will also be subject to him who put all things under him that God may be all in all. Christ is under authority. Is he carnal? The answer is no. Is he under authority because he's carnal? No. He's under the authority because he said, My Father is greater than I am. The Father is in charge of the whole family. He sits on the top, and so therefore we are all under His authority. The righteous angels are all under authority. They obey government. They're told to go, and they go. They're told to come, and they come, and they obey, and they are submissive. Those who were not, the one-third who rebelled were kicked out, and they are following Lucifer at this time.

So they obey, and they're not carnal. Government is not there just for carnality. Maybe there are times it has to deal with that, but it's there for harmony, for unity, to keep down confusion.

Let's go back to Genesis 2 and verse 18. I read this last Sabbath, but the Lord God said, it's not good. Well, this isn't good, that the man should be alone.

I will make him a helper comparable to him. See, somebody just like him. Somebody just like him. Somebody just like him. Someone comparable to him. The woman was made to help her husband. I want you to notice over here in Genesis 1, verse 27, God created man in his own image.

In the image of God, he created him.

Male and female, he created him. He created him in the image of God. Male and female, he created them.

Male and female are created in God's image. One has longer hair than the other, but we're created in God's image. In the sense, torso, head, ears, eyes, hands, nose, feet, legs, and so on. A woman is to help her husband.

Women were designed by God with a basic drive to want to share their lives with a man, with their man, with their husband. One of the basic, deepest reactions of a woman to be able to share her life, her innermost feelings and thoughts with her husband, and to share his dreams, to share his hopes, to share his thoughts. His ideas, to be there to help him.

Now, if a man refuses to share, even temporarily, his life, he creates a problem in the marriage.

He creates a big problem for the woman. It will drive a woman crazy.

It will upset her. It will perturb her.

Women don't like the strong, silent type.

For all you strong, silent types, they don't like the strong, silent types. Maybe there are few who do, but most don't.

When they have someone who won't talk to them, who won't share with them, who won't give to them, who just sort of ignores them, goes about doing his thing, there is going to be a reaction that takes place.

And the reaction isn't always nice. A woman will become huffy. She'll start nagging.

She'll stop talking.

Consequently, the man will say less, because his wife isn't treating him the way he thinks she should. He pulls into a shell. And what you have is a carnal reaction on both parts. Neither one are going to resolve the problem. Or a woman will just start ignoring you. Okay, if he's going to ignore me, I'll ignore him. I'll punish him.

So women will seek other channels. She'll channel their energy into job, into the house, into her children, sharing her life with humanity, or if she's not careful with another man.

Because you see, today, one of the big problems we have with women getting out in the workplace, guess what? Out in the workplace, and the first thing you know, your boss, other men, recognize you, see you, and they say, well, good job! And your husband never says, good job. They say, boy, you look good today. Husband never says, you look good today. You know, they start complimenting you. They start patting you on the back, so to speak. And all at once, you're getting attention. All at once, somebody seems to care for you. All at once, that desire is being fulfilled.

And if you're not careful, you can find yourself getting into a deep problem. And that's one of the pitfalls that you have to look out for.

A woman desires to share.

Now, the right reaction, if her husband's not sharing, is to pray for strength, to pray that God will help her to be submissive, to have humility, strength not to nag, not to retreat into a shell. You know, nagging is one of the worst things that you can do.

We've all heard the phrase about a horse. What's an old nag?

Well, I don't know exactly what that means, but it's a phrase that you choose. Well, you don't want to be classified that way. Proverbs 19 and verse 13 says this, Proverbs chapter 19 verse 13, A foolish son is a ruin of his father, and the contentions of a wife are like a continual dripping.

You ever heard of the Chinese torture treatment?

It's been proven that you can drive a person crazy. You don't have to do anything. Just put them there and mobilize them in a drip, drip, drip of water. After a few days and weeks, a person will go crazy over that. Well, that's the principle that's being brought out here. Continual dropping, contentions. After a while, there's going to be a reaction to that.

Proverbs chapter 21 and verse 9, Better to dwell in the corner of a housetop than in a house shared with a contentious woman.

And verse 19, better to dwell in the wilderness than with the contentions and angry woman.

Now, I've had women tell me, well, there's no other way that I can get through to them. You know, I have to keep after them.

Well, there are different ways of approaching it. You know, you don't have to nag.

You know, constantly, you can bring it up. And men, if your wife does bring it up, you need to be alert.

Oh, she brought something up. Maybe I better listen. And you'll try to concentrate on what's being said. You've been polls about unhappy marriages. You know what heads the list of complaints?

He won't talk to me.

You know what he says?

She talks too much.

So you get, you know, one's talking too much, the other one's not talking enough.

It's interesting where the word nagging comes from.

Comes from the Middle Ages. It was a problem, a pest problem.

Termites, little pests, would get into the wood floors, the walls, and they would gnaw, and they would eat away. And it was a con... You could hear this noise lie down at night.

You know, they were always gnawing and eating. And, you know, it would drive people to distraction. The word from Scandinavia is a word called noggin, and it means denole.

Nagging is a form of continual criticism, whereby the same complaint is brought out over and over and over.

So a wife, if, you know, she brings something up, her husband doesn't reply to it, needs to think of, well, how can I bring this up again without seeming that I'm just nagging about the same thing over and over, and bring it up in a different way? And, you know, maybe she tells her husband, you know, you don't take me out enough.

So a month goes by, and they haven't gone out. And, well, maybe another way of saying that is, you know, a big, great for us to go to a movie. We haven't gone to a movie in a while. You know, that's not saying you don't take me out enough. So another month goes by, and, you know, so how does she bring it up so that the husband finally gets the point?

Well, that's where the problems and the contentions come in a marriage. A wife has to just be sure that she doesn't drive her husband to distraction. But again, as I brought out last week, a husband needs to be attuned to his wife to make sure that she, you know, is responding to her needs.

Just as a husband is commanded to love his wife, and that love is not conditioned upon whether the wife deserves it or not, you know, do we deserve God's love?

God's to love the world. He gave his only begotten son. While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Do we deserve that? Well, no, we don't. A wife's submission is not conditioned upon whether the husband deserves it or not. You know, she strives to submit to him. It's like 1 Peter chapter 3 verse 1 brings out 1 Peter chapter 3 and verse 1.

We read this, 1 Peter chapter 3 verse 1. Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word...

Okay, here's an unconverted husband. They don't obey the word.

They, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives. So it's not because you preach to them and teach them that they are converted, but because of your conduct, your submission.

When they observe your chaste conduct, coupled or accompanied by fear, do not let your adornment be merely the outward arranging of the hair, the wearing of gold.

Putting on a fine apparel doesn't say that you shouldn't do that, but don't let it just be that. Rather, let it be the hidden person of the heart with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle.

and quiet spirit.

Notice what God is looking for. A gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

If God could come down and tell you that you are very precious in my sight, because you have a quiet, it says here, a gentle and quiet spirit.

Well, it's precious to God.

Verse 5, For in this manner and former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Lord, or excuse me, Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are, if you do good, are not afraid of any terror.

So she referred to Abraham as her Lord, her master.

Now, most of you aren't going to go around and say, Master, what do you want today? You know, it doesn't work that way, but you respect him and you love him. In Ephesians 5 again, in verse 30, we find that the marital relationship is a type of Christ and the church.

What kind of a church would we have?

You know, look at our congregation here. What kind of a church would the Chattanooga congregation be?

If the church responded to Christ, like you do to your husband, what kind of church would we have?

Well, if you'll notice here in Ephesians 5, verse 33, it says, Nevertheless, let each of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

So a wife has been given the responsibility to respect her husband. The word in the Greek means to reverence, to venerate, to treat with deference, of reverential obedience.

So she is to show respect to her husband, to respect him, to submit to him, and to love him.

You see, you have to submit in your mind your attitude. As Proverbs 23, verse 7 says, As he thinks in his heart, or as she thinks in her heart, so is he, or so is she.

As we think in our heart, so are we.

So what we find is that God has ordained and created marriage.

God is very much aware of what we're doing. You see, part of the judgment process on the church today, and again, remember, I'm directing a lot of what I'm saying here, especially when both mates are in the church. We try to apply as much as possible if they're not. But we have to realize that God is judging the church today. God has given us the marital relationship, the family relationship, to be able to live, experience, and to begin to see what he wants as far as a family relationship on into the future. In Proverbs 15, in verse 3, we read that the eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good.

So God watches.

He sees. He knows. He reads the mind. He sees the heart. He sees our actions. He knows how we relate to one another. So God inspects, and he watches what is occurring within our marriages.

It does take the Spirit of God to elevate a marriage to a spirit plane.

And what we know also is, back in 1 Corinthians 7, it says, where one is converted.

Then God is there, and God will bless that marriage. And it talks about how our children are sanctified, how an unconverted mate can be sanctified as a result of one who is in the marriage who has God's Spirit. So it takes the Spirit of God and the love of God to elevate a marriage to that plane, that relationship. The basis of rule is love. The basis of rule is service, as we find in the scriptures. All of us have to learn to submit, and you find that God has told the women to submit the husbands to love. The family of God is going to operate on these principles forever. All of us will have to submit in the kingdom, and all of us will have to learn to love one another.

And so, brethren, you and I need to have this type of love for one another.

I had an example here I was going to read at the end, and I think I'll go ahead and take the time here. It'll only take a minute or so to read this. It doesn't tie in in one sense, in another sense it does. It's something that I received in the last couple weeks about how a man ought to think about his wife, and if the shoe were reversed, how a wife would think about her husband.

It's titled, How to Dance in the Rain. Many of you may have seen this. It says, It was a busy morning about 8.30 when the elderly gentleman in his eighties arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry and he had a nine o'clock appointment. I took his vital signs, told him to take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before anyone saw him. Yeah, typical doctor's office. I saw him look at his watch and decided since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound on examination. It was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his searchers and redness of his wound, or redress his wound, I should say. While taking care of the wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me, no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's disease.

As we talked, I asked if she'd be upset if it was a bit late. He replied she no longer knew who he was and that she had not recognized him in five years. I was surprised and asked him, are you still going every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are? He smiled and patted my hand and said, she doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.

I had to hold back my tears. I had goosebumps on my arm and thought, this is the kind of love I want in my life. True love is neither physical nor romantic. True love is acceptance of others. That is, has been, and will be, and will not be. I just thought that was a good illustration to show the type of love that we should have one for another. It is a love that is an enduring love. When you get married many times, the ceremony says for better or for worse, for good or bad, whatever the circumstances may be. And, brethren, God has given us marriage as a wonderful opportunity for us to learn these lessons and to demonstrate for him to see how we will treat one another and are we learning to treat each other on a God-playing level.