Enemies of Peace

Enemies of Peace

Story of Couple in Argument:

• Accusation from one spouse about the other.
• The other spouse had a completely different story.
• Mistrust: A major factor in both of their stories. Whether either story was true, this couple came to the point where they didn’t trust each other. And furthermore, in telling their stories it seemed that they didn’t want me to trust what the other spouse was saying.

• This particular couple had always gone to family members and neighbors to help them through their conflicts.
• This was effective as long as those family members and neighbors were good counselors.
• Unfortunately in this case their counselors seemed to take sides and almost seemed like their minds were made up just by hearing one side of the story.

• This only furthered the conflict between this husband and wife.
• Rather than seeking reconciliation, it seemed their counselors were just trying to separate them so the conflict would end.
• That’s not the goal in any marriage. In fact that’s not the goal in any relationship.

Relationships:

This is the reason we have been created. This is the reason we have been called by God.

We have the potential to become sons and daughters of God. We have the potential to have a very big family. That’s actually what we are, one big family.

Peace is Necessary for Healthy, thriving relationships: We pray for peace. We are told to seek peace, to pursue it.

Are we peace makers?

Do we actually believe that we are to make peace with one another?

I try to always pray that we have peace within our congregations, within each other,

other wise how can we be God’s people?

How can we be one body, the body of Christ?

How can we be that family of God when we have unresolved conflicts with each other?

Conflicts Between:

• Couples
• Siblings
• Neighbors
• Brethren

Enemies of Peace:

BLAME

GOSSIP

PRIDE

BLAME: (1st enemy of peace)

Blaming others for our own problems is a deep part of human nature.

This goes back to the Garden of Eden and Adam and Eve.

This goes back to the lies of Satan told to deceive mankind.

Genesis 3:12-13

12 Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.”

Sure this is true.

Eve did give the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil to Adam to eat. But it was also true that God told Adam not to eat of that tree,

so he should have known better.

The same could be said for Eve. Adam heard it from the mouth of God. Eve should have heard it from Adam’s mouth (unless she also heard it directly from God).

13 And the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”

The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

This was true. The serpent did deceive Eve, but she was supposed to know better.

Rather than taking accountability for what they had done, Adam and Eve passed the blame to someone else.

How much pain and suffering might have been avoided if they had quickly repented

of what they had done?

GOSSIP: (2nd enemy of peace)

Sometimes we think of Gossip as simply spreading lies about someone. That’s not a complete picture of what gossip is.

Definition:

• (American Heritage Dictionary: “Rumor or talk of a personal, sensational, or intimate nature.”
• Spreading unconfirmed or negative information about others.
• …talking about other people behind their back…
• Sometimes we think of Gossip as simply spreading lies about someone.
• That’s not the whole picture.
• Gossip can include truth, but used in a way to make someone look bad, or change the way people think of that person. Often without all the information.

Biblical urging to avoid gossip: (1 Timothy 5:13 - gossips/busybodies)

Gossip, passing on information whether private or public, is in conflict with Scripture.

• Bringing up the past even if true (lack of forgiveness)
• Perpetuating Lies
• Speaking bad about someone behind their back rather than talking to them.

Psalm 101:5

5 Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor, Him I will destroy; The one who has a haughty look and a proud heart, Him I will not endure.

It’s in conflict with the Holy Spirit:

• Rather we should seek peace, seek to work things out between one another personally.
• Love covers a multitude of sins.
• Take a moment and think before we speak or react.

Proverbs 11:13

13 A talebearer reveals secrets,

But he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter.

Proverbs 16:28

28 A perverse man sows strife,

And a whisperer separates the best of friends.

SHUTDOWN GOSSIP: When we hear gossip we should not pass it on. And if we hear it from our own mouth, get rid of it. Tell it to God.

Our relationships are supposed to go even beyond the best of friends.

We are family, and preparing to be an eternal family!

Gossip has no place in that family.

PRIDE: (3rd enemy of peace)

Pride works directly against God.

Pride causes us not to listen to the Holy Spirit’s urgings

(which is God’s way of telling us which way to turn,

even what we should be speaking, how we should be reacting).

Pride can actually cause a person to become an enemy of peace rather than a godly peacemaker.

James 4:1-6

1 Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members?

(Desires for Pleasure: Taking care of self rather than looking out for the good of others)

2 You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask.

3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.

4 Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

5 Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, “The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously”?

6 But He gives more grace. Therefore He says:

“God resists the proud,

But gives grace to the humble.”

SOLUTION: (Counter the Enemies of Peace — Create Peace)

Conflict is unavoidable as human beings while we still battle human nature and sin.

Today we’ve identified 3 Enemies of Peace: Blame, Gossip, and Pride.

These 3 enemies have solutions we can use to counter them, to Create Peace:

- Blame/Accountability

- Gossip/Self Control

- Pride/Humility

Ultimate Goal: Building Up Relationships through ((Forgiveness & Reconciliation))

Making Peace With One Another as God intends.

Building Unity within the Body of Christ.

Done through Forgiveness & Reconciliation.

ACCOUNTABILITY: (counters blame)

Luke 6:37-38, 41-42

37 “Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

38 Give, and it will be forgiven to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.”

Our first responsibility/response in conflict shouldn't be to become defensive.

Even if someone is accusing us falsely and trying to condemn us for something we’ve done.

Our first response should be to seek forgiveness.

If that’s our first response then when we are in the wrong our brethren will be more ready to forgive us.

Accountability:

Have we considered our own faults in a conflict before trying to blame others?

Have we considered that there are two sides to the story,

and at the very least the other person misinterpreted/misunderstood what we said or did?

41 And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the plank in your own eye?

42 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me remove the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the plank that is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck that is in your brother’s eye.

These words of Jesus Christ should remind us that we have a lot more work to do

when it comes to our own sins, our own struggles, our own attitude of pride

and readiness to blame.

The world around us spends too much time blaming others for their problems.

Nowadays children (or even grown adults) blame their parents for how they turned out.

There of course is influence there, mistakes made by parents

(hopefully just mistakes rather than outright abuse).

But at a certain point we have to take responsibility for how we turn out.

We are adults now, eating the meat of the word of God rather than the milk.

Have we taken accountability for what we do, how we speak and react,

how we treat other people?

Or are we still caught up in the same blame game that Adam and Even found themselves in?

Matthew 18:7-9

7 Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes!

8 “If your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life lame or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet, to be cast into the everlasting fire.

9 And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes, to be cast into hell fire.

SELF CONTROL: (counters gossip)

James 1:19-20, 26

19 So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;

20 for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

26 If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceived his own heart, this one’s religion is useless.

James, in Chapter 3, wrote extensively about how difficult it is to control our own tongue.

But we must know that we are under stricter judgment since we know better.

But God has put in us His Holy Spirit and has given us the power of Self Control.

Do we exercise that self control,

or do we instead let how we feel dictate what comes out of our mouth in the moment?

There’s great wisdom in thinking before we speak.

So many times I speak before thinking,

I react before I have even considered what someone else has said.

In every case I end up saying the wrong thing, offending another person.

My immaturity comes out.

And I realize I still have a lot of work to do on myself.

The tongue may be impossible to control on our own,

but with God’s help we can work on self control, on being wise with our words,

in countering gossip before it escapes our mouth.

If we really think we need to tell something to someone,

whether to try and defend ourselves or to make ourselves feel better,

then let’s start by telling God.

He’s the perfect listener and Counselor.

He wants to hear from us, but we must also be willing to listen to Him when He speaks.

Proverbs 10:12

12 Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all sins.

1 Peter 4:7-8

7 But the end of all things is at hand; therefore be serious and watchful in your prayers.

8 And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”

Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 (works for not offending nor being offended easily)

21 Also do not take to heart everything people say, Lest you hear your servant cursing you.

22 For many times, also, your own heart has known That even you have cursed others.

HUMILITY: (counters pride)

The only way to counteract pride is humility.

More wisdom from the book of James:

James 4:7-

7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

9 Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.

10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.

As we know, sin separates us from god.

We can only repent if we are humble enough to admit that we have sinned.

And God is ready with forgiveness through the blood of Jesus Christ.

But we must continue to submit to God’s will, not our own,

if we want our God to continue to work with us and through us.

If we are so full of pride that we only seek our will and what we think is best for us,

then how can God possibly direct us?

A major aspect of humility is to be exercise self control and be cautious with how we treat others, how we speak about them to other people.

I’m not saying we go around and tell lies.

But also we don’t go around telling everyone what someone else has done.

11 Do not speak evil of one another, brethren. He who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge.

12 There is one Lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy. Who are you to judge another?

13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”;

14 whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.

15 Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.”

16 But now you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.

We must learn to let God direct our paths as well as our words.

We do this by humbly submitting ourselves to God’s guidance within us through His Holy Spirit,

utilizing the words of wisdom from His Word, the Bible.

Being Peacemakers:

Are We Peacemakers?

Are we ready to build up relationships through Forgiveness and Reconciliation when we are involved in conflict with our brethren?

((Forgiveness & Reconciliation))

((Helping Resolve Conflict))

Conflict Resolution:

Matthew 18

There are times when we are directly involved in the conflict.

Let’s assume we’ve done our best to apply the Peace Making Solutions

but we are in need of help.

We can ask for a mediator to come in and help.

Role of a Mediator:

• Not to take sides even if we might know one person better than the other.
• Role is to listen to both sides/both people.
• If possible, identify what caused the conflict, being careful not to place blame.
• Help the two sides/individuals come up with a peaceful solution for Forgiveness & Reconciliation.

Matthew 18:15-17

15 “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.

(Going directly to the person who has offended us or we have offended removes the possibility of gossip. Sometimes we feel like we need to tell other people how someone else made us feel (some people go directly to their pastor and skip this step). We should instead go to our brethren and tell them how they made us feel. Or to apologize for how we may have made them feel.

16 But if he will not hear, take with you on for two more, that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’

If we’ve done the first step, giving it an honest try, then we can bring one or two other brethren who might have been involved in the conflict or witnessed the conflict. This doesn’t mean we can drag the whole congregation into things, or jump the first step.

And if we are asked to mediate/be a witness in such a case, are we careful not to take sides but to get a clearer picture of what really happened?

17 And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.

Some have interpreted this as going and telling everyone in the congregation what has happened. That quickly gets into the territory of gossip and slander. This is only to be done after we’ve gone through the first two steps. Otherwise we are in the wrong. It is far better at this point to bring in a mediator.

Someone who can be a neutral party, who can listen to both sides of things and help people make peace.

The Church of God has taken this verse to mean bring in the authority of the Church of God, not take the matter to the whole congregation.

(Pastor, Elder, Deacon, Deaconess, along with the witness/es)

This follows the biblical directive and the wisdom of the Proverbs to: conceal a matter. Not that we are trying to hide sin away, but if we go and tell everyone someone’s sins then we don’t leave room for forgiveness and reconciliation between that person and the rest of the congregation. Or room for us to forgive and reconcile.

How would we feel if that happened to us and we were genuinely repentant?

CONCLUSION:

This is only the beginning of working through conflict, striving for peace.

Brethren, let's strive for Peace.

Let’s learn to be peacemakers rather than enemies of peace.

Let’s get rid of: Blame, Gossip, and Pride.

And replace them with: Accountability, Self Control, and Humility.

Let’s be peacemakers, striving for building up relationships

through Forgiveness & Reconciliation rather than pushing one another apart.