Gossip Creates Division

There's this lady, brethren, that saw the pastor with another man coming out of a bar. And as the pastor was coming out of the bar, he nearly tripped and he nearly fell. And she started this rumor saying that the pastor is drinking and you're so drunk that he couldn't even stay in the room. And to keep up standing, this is a story that's going around.

I mean, that is being told. I'm not sure how factual that is. And then the story then goes that she then phones one lady, another person, and says, you know, have you heard what the pastor was doing? And then next thing he comes to church and nobody's talking to him. He's kind of keeping distance. And then a friendly member comes to him and says, hey, you know, in Providence, says, look, your sons have now finally caught up with you. And he says, what sons? He says, don't you lie. Such and such sister saw you coming out and you're being drunk.

And then he explains her, or the situation about that. And so what happened, he said, look, there was this potential future member that has been in contact with me. And he went to a party and some friends said, well, just have one more drink.

And that was the last drink that he shouldn't have had. And then he then went out to, because this person called him, so he went out to help him. And then it was helping him out of the bar, whatever, whatever, and he tripped and nearly fell.

But it wasn't him or somebody else. So it just shows out a story can actually get out of hand. A story can get out of hand. And what we have is the danger of gossip. Gossip is a very dangerous activity. And indeed, a tongue, as the Bible says, is a fire, particularly if it's an evil tongue. It's a fire that can set on fire a terrible situation.

And so gossip and the use of the tongue can cause a lot of division in any group organization, or even in the church. And the gossip and obviously the tongue and this evil tongue works hand in hand in causing a lot of problems. So I want to give you an example from the Bible in 2 Samuel 13.

In 2 Samuel 13, we've got the example of the sons of David. So 2 Samuel 13. And we have a situation of, if you look at... we have a son, which is the first born in a sense, which is Ammon. And then the second born apparently died, because it's not talked about any further. And the third born is Absalom. So therefore Absalom would be the second in line to the throne in that way.

And it says here in chapter 13 that Absalom is the son of David. And he had a lovely sister from the same mother, whose name was Taimon. And Ammon, which was the son of David, but from another mother. So in other words, was Absalom's half-brother. He loved Taimon. And so Ammon, you can see here in verse 2, which was the first in line to the throne, was so distressed over his half-fister, Taimon, that he became sick. This whole thing just took him into action. And you can read the story.

Basically what happens is this cousin, Jonah Dab, said, hey, just tell a story to your dad that she come and that you are feeling not well in bed and she must come and cook a meal for you. And you know the story. And then next thing you can see in verse 14 that he forced her and he laid with her. But the thing is that after that, his passion turned into hatred. And so we have Yah that then Ammon hated her exceedingly. But what happened is the brother, the real brother of Taimon, because Ammon was a half-brother to Absalom, the real brother, which was Absalom, he hated this, in a sense, quite justifiably.

He hated this situation. And then we read in verse 21, then King David heard of all these things. He was really upset. But you know, he did nothing about it. He did nothing about it. And so what happens is Absalom started developing in his heart a root of bitterness. And this root of bitterness over a period of time just became real hatred to the point that he wanted to kill his half-brother. So you can see in verse 23 that two years go by and David does nothing about it. And so Absalom now is furious. So he orchestrates a plan to kill Ammon. And you can see in verse 25 that this plan being orchestrated says, and then he gets these people to kill Ammon.

To get him together and kill Ammon. So now he kills Ammon and now Absalom runs away. Now he runs away. And you look in verse 38. In verse 38 he says Absalom fled and went to Geshu and was there three years. So now he's away from David. And now five years have gone by since this act between Ammon and Tamar.

And Ammon is now being murdered. And Absalom now has run away. Because he knows he's also done wrong, but he's got this root of bitterness. But now not only to Ammon that he killed, but this root of bitterness now got shifted towards his own dad. Because his dad did nothing and now he's away from, ran away from his dad. Now we read in chapter 14 that David now wants to see Absalom, but because he's far away. But this whole thing of this political thing that you know what the image is going to create, the sun did this.

So he just didn't know how to go about it. And so you get the situation that Joab creates a situation, a bit of a trickery situation.

And then he brings Absalom to Jerusalem.

But to keep that appearance of justice, David does not see Absalom. And so Absalom comes to Jerusalem, but for appearance of psych and all that, without really doing anything about it and acting on it, he doesn't see Absalom. And then looking verse 28 of chapter 14, He tripped within the Absalom to wealth two full years in Jerusalem, but did not see David, the king's face. So now we have seven years have gone by and this thing is brewing in the pot. You know, this bitterness is brewing in the pot.

And so now the situation gets forced and then David ends up kissing Absalom. But what we have is we have a young man that is now bitter, completely bitter, and he's a rebel. His heart has been shaped after these seven years.

And so now we get to chapter 15 and we see what happens. So Absalom now is completely against his dad and now he wants to take over the throne. And so he organized a group of people and he kind of placed himself into a position of authority. Look at him. Absalom provided himself, gave it to himself, chariots and horses, and fifty men to run before him. Now, the way I look at it is in today's society. It's like you get yourself a real presidential call with little flags up there in the front, one on the left, one on the right, two little flags, whatever it is. And you get fifty police cars in front of you. Fifty. Bam, bam, bam. There it comes, you know, Absalom behind. So this is to me kind of competitive to today. You know, you get this parade of cars in front and there you come behind and everybody's looking at it. Who is it? All it's Absalom coming. But it says he provided himself. So he elevated himself into this position. You can see now saying in a bit of a cynical way his humility. Obviously it's not. It's just he created a following and he put himself into this position. And then he starts to make friendship with those people that have complaints. So he says, listen, people come in to complain and say, ah, but if I was, look at the inverse, it says, oh, that I wear my judge in the land. And everyone who has any problem or any issue, in other words, any suit of cause would come to me. And I would give him justice. You can see he is actually creating a following. And the people can see it. I mean, it's just amazing when you get this. I mean, it's so political. You can see that in the world today in the politics. It's so political you can see that. So he started creating a situation. In the sense, it's a gossip because he's gossiping against whoever is judging. But if he was judging, how would you do so much better? Because, and you know, and if people come in with different cases, whatever cases, where some were true, some were not, but he started showing interest to those people. And therefore, he won their heart. He started winning their heart. And therefore, he started creating people to go after him and turn against his father David. You can see the political motivation there. Now, let me just ask a simple question. And obviously, the answer that you're going to give is very obvious. But the question is, was Absalom's attitude Christian? Obviously, your answer is going to say, no, of course not. But you see, gossips can create this impression that says, look, trusting me. Because I care for you. I understand what you're going through. And I can understand what you're struggling dealing with this or that person or this or that situation. So you can see how gossip turns this thing around. And maybe there could have been a good intention initially. But you know, very subtly, this gets turned. You know, the other principle, you may have a very good reason for something.

Whatever. Could be a doctrine, could be right, could be something. You could have a very good reason for something. But you anchor that or you tie that to yourself. To self. Whilst we really must not do that. We must anchor or tie that to God and to God's glory and to God's honor. And therefore, the how, how you go about it, must be in a way that will give God's honor. Not yourself. You see, so your justification might be right. But be careful you don't hook it to self-aggrandizement. So, yeah, it is a problem. Because when you do that, even if the situation is true, when you do that, you are now falling prey to Satan's tricks. And, brethren, this can happen anyway. It can happen in any organization. It can happen even in church. It can happen. It's that simple. So, the problem is this. Trust in me. Because I care for you. And this problem that you're dealing with, with your organization, with whatever it is, I can understand because I've been there. But you're hooking it on yourself. And therein lies the problem.

And you are now starting or fomenting a gossip that is going to create a vision. And therefore, we're going to be very careful. Because therein the problem is that you're now indirectly, subtly, you're starting to speak bad of somebody else. Maybe of leadership, maybe of a brother, or whatever the situation is. So, we've got to be careful that we don't turn this in a way that self-aggrandizes the individual rather than putting it in God's hands. We've got to be careful. So, let's look at a few Proverbs today. We're going to look at different other scriptures as well. So, we might just...we're going to start with Proverbs 16 verse 28. I suggest you put a little marker on Proverbs because we're going to look at various Proverbs. But the first one is Proverbs 16 verse 28. And it says, A perverse man so struck, and a whisperer separates the best of friends. A gossiper, a whisperer, somebody that's saying, oh yeah, there it is. It creates problems, separates, creates division. And so, we've got to be careful with what comes out of our mind, out of our heart, and in fact, out of our mouth. You see, because the whole thing begins in heart. Really, it begins in heart. Absalom's heart became bitter. And sooner or later, it took him seven years, it turned to a whole ploy to speak bad of his father. Look at Proverbs chapter 4. Proverbs chapter 4 verse 23.

Keep your heart with all diligence. So, it is so important, brethren, that we have to analyze our hearts and keep it with all diligence. For out of it spring the issues of life. Out of the hearts spring the issues of life. And then it says elsewhere, for out of the balance of the heart, the mouth speaks. So, and then continuing in verse 24. It says, Put away from you a deceitful mouth. You see, because of that, out of the balance of the heart, the mouth speaks. So, put away from you a deceitful mouth and put perverse lips far from you. So, be careful. If the heart is not right, sooner or later, it's going to come out in words. And so, you and I have to be really testing our heart and purifying our heart, keeping our heart with all diligence. For out of it spring the issues of life. Because sooner or later, it's going to come out in words. And look at James chapter 3 verse 2. James chapter 3 verse 2. Hebrews, James chapter 3 verse 2. In the sermonette we heard about chapter 4, how we have to be careful, because from there, from this, then precedes wars. But before that, we have the situation about the heart, and from the heart comes out what comes out in the tongue. And he's using in chapter 3 verse 2. For we all stumble in many things. Now brethren, now who joins in addressing those two? In verse 1 of chapter 3 says, My brethren, my brethren, this is addressing two fellow brethren in the church. And we all stumble, says, as in the church. And he says, if anyone of us, as members in the church, do not stumble in the word, in the words how we use our tongue, then we are perfect. We are mature, able to bridle the whole body. And here is the problem. We all fail. And that's why then in chapter 4 says, where the wars and fights come from you, from among you. Who's you? The brethren. I mean, quite often we think about well between nations and this, but it actually is addressing the brethren in the church. And so, from the heart, the partners of the heart and mouth speaks, then from the mouth, we all stumble, and from there, we have wars and fights amongst us. The vision! The vision! We've got to be so careful. Look at verse 5 of James chapter 3. Even so, the tongue is a little member, and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles. And we've seen terrible fires recently. We've seen just, you know, how little fires kindles there. And the tongue is a fire. A world of iniquity. The tongue is so sick among our members that it defiles the whole body. So, obviously, it's talking physically, but think about it spiritually as well. Our tongue can defile the whole church, because the body is the church of God. So, it's amazing. And it sets on fire the course of nature. And it is set on fire by Gehenna. By the actual second death, the outcome of it. So, brethren, it is very, very serious. Look at verse 8 and 9. With it, with the tongue, we bless our God and Father. And with it, the tongue, we curse man. And it's talking we. Brethren, in the church, we. So, don't think that you and I are exempt. We have to be careful and look at ourselves. With it, we curse men who have been made in the similitude of God. Yes, human beings have been made in the image of God. But how much more, as in the church, are made in the image of God? So, brethren, we have to understand that this is an unruly evil. It's an uncontrollable evil. And you and I cannot say that we don't suffer from it. We just have to look at ourselves and be careful. And look at our hearts.

Are we saying, and therefore, they're doing things that are going to cause trouble? They're going to cause offense to others? Are we? What is our heart? We really got to be very careful. Look at verse 13. Who is wise? Chapter 3, still, of James. Who is wise and the standing among you? So, he's talking in the context of the tongue. And he says, who's wise among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. And in the context of the tongue, in the conduct, he has warned you and I say, what you and I say, which obviously leads to other actions as well. But in the meekness of wisdom. I love this phrase, meekness of wisdom. I really love it. It's so profound. Because meekness means humility, but not only humility. It means gentleness. It means timeness, being tiny. Like a lovely, wild, beautiful, wild animal, like a lion, which is tiny. You know? It's just that being tiny, being teachable, malleable. And obviously that requires humility, and that is also gentleness. Think about it. So the meekness of wisdom. Wow. In other words, the true godly wisdom has this characteristic of being malleable, teachable, tiny. It's a beautiful phrase to meditate on. I love to meditate on this phrase, and maybe you enjoy it and love that too. But, look at verse 14, but... If you... Who's it resting to? Members in the church. If you, in the church. Obviously it applies to the world as well. But if you have better envy and self-seeking. Now, this word, self-seeking, is so interesting. In my Bible, it's got a little marker on the margin. It says, selfish ambition. And some Bibles translate it as factions. Factions. It's like party spirit, like this party or that party. You know, factions, division. What is the core matter in the heart of these divisions? Of factions? Of different parties? Self-seeking. Self-seeking. And it says, in your hearts. Self-seeking in your hearts. Where does it start? In the heart. And out of the balance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Be careful, be diligent with how you keep your heart, because out of it, spring the issues of life. We read that in Proverbs. So, self-seeking in your hearts. Do not boast. These people that are party, and I don't mean party as partying, feasting, but I mean party as factions. These people that are very, for this faction or for that faction or for this party or for that party, for this division or for that division. It says, do not boast. Or my ideas build. Well, that's self-seeking, isn't it, Ood? And it says, and lie against the truth. Well, do these people speak something which is, appears right, appears true, but has got a little subtle twist to it, a little subtle twist that is a lie, and lie against the truth. This wisdom, this type of wisdom that is based on self-seeking, on divisions in the heart, that is not from God, is not from above, but is earthly, sensual, from the devil. It's demonic. And brethren, we see it today in our society around us. We see it. And you know what? Regrettably affects you and I in the church. The world affects us. It's like, you know, you have a basket of rotten apples and you put a good apple there, that apple is going to be affected or infected. Now, it says you are in the world, but be not part of the world. There is the challenge that you are in the world, in this basket of rotten apples, and we must actively, diligently, be keeping our minds and our hearts clean. It's so easy to just be pulled the wrong way. This says, verse 16, for where envy? And I'll get back to the same thing that is said in verse 14, if you have bitter envy and self-seeking. It says, for where envy and self-seeking exist? So where does faction, spirit, this partisan spirit, this attitude of me first?

Where they exist? Confusion. It was diffusion, confusion, disorder, and every evil thing of them. And brethren, that's the world we live in today. You just have to listen to the news, that's what you see today in the news. Unregrettable. But you see, this starts from the heart and then comes out through the month.

And look at verse 17. And Yahreeh are the attitudes that you and I need to have. But the wisdom that is from above. In other words, Yahreeh is talking about the how. The how you handle certain things. The how, which basically is a matter of the heart. The how. The wisdom that is from above. The how you do it is first pure. Then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield. Can you see meekness in there? Can you see the words meekness in there? Like peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits. Without partiality. You know, it was not being divisive partiality. And without hypocrisy. Genuine from the heart. That is the how, the matter of the heart. You think about the Beatitudes. You know, you've got the Beatitudes and one of them is, you know, a matter of the heart. You've got to have that matter of being willing to yield. Being meek. Being merciful, full of mercy.

And then it says, but the fruit of righteousness is some in peace by those who make peace. And again, if you think about the Beatitudes, it says, and the last Beatitude, it says, blessed are the peacemakers. You see, those through meekness and mercy and pure in heart and then peacemakers. It's a progression there.

So the fruit of righteousness, there lies even a matter of true conversion. Of true conversion.

The person who is truly converted is going to be so in peace. He's going to make every single effort to be at peace by those who make peace. It doesn't say by those who love peace.

So not being a lover of peace is a maker of peace. There's a big difference, brethren. A big difference. And I'm sure you know that. So yeah, we have a matter of conversion.

Now let's look at Israel in all days. Let's look at Exodus chapter 14.

Exodus chapter 14. Verse 10. We have that coming out of Egypt. They cross the Red Sea.

You know, it's not long after they've crossed the Red Sea.

They see, they caught like the sea is in front. You know, they see the situation that they are in because, I mean, big part. This is just before they cross the Red Sea. And then they say they were afraid because the Egyptians were in the eye and the sea is in front. And they're getting in verse 11. Then they say to Moses, because there were no graves in Egypt, have you?

I see this gossip, this time. You! Taken as a way to die in the wilderness. Why had you so dealt with us to bring us out of Egypt?

Is this not the word that we told you in Egypt saying, let us alone! There will be certain Egyptians! But what a lie!

They were saying, we want to leave Egypt, we want to leave slavery. Oh, but you! For it had been better for us to serve the Egyptians than we should die in the wilderness.

Amazing how they twist! Amazing how they twist! Look at in chapter 15. Now they cross the Red Sea. Look at in chapter 15 verse 23. Now they get to... and now they don't have water. And so now they get to a place called Mara, verse 23.

And they could not drink the waters of Mara, for they were better. And look at verse 24. And the people complained against Moses. There's this tongue again. Ah, speaking evil! Speaking evil! What shall we drink?

Now look at chapter 16. Chapter 16 verse 2. Now we don't have bread. And then the whole congregation, 16 verse 2, of the children of Israel, complained against Moses and Hera in the wilderness.

And look at in verse 3. Oh, that we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, where we sat by the pots of meat, and where we ate bread to the full! What a lie!

For you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger. I mean, there is the tongue with this gossiping. Is this the meekness of wisdom? Of course not.

Is this the wisdom from above? Of course not. And you look at in verse 7. And in the morning, and now God spoke to Moses, and Moses then tells the people, says, In the morning you shall see the glory of the Lord. For he hears your complaints against the Lord. Now, who are they complaining against? They are complaining against Moses and Hera. They are complaining against the leadership, but God so let us complain against God. So we are going to be very careful when we are complaining against other people.

But what are we that you complain against us?

And Moses said, This shall be seen when the Lord gives you meat to eat in the evening and in the morning bread to the full. For the Lord sees your complaints which you have made against him, against God. And what are we? Your complaints are not against us, the leaders, but against God.

Brethren, we got to be careful with our tongue.

Remember, it starts in the heart, then it gets into the tongue, and then it gets into words and comes out.

And it could be gossip, could be whatever. Be careful. Then we don't accuse another member of the church or the leadership in the church or whatever it is, because God might look at it. And according to this, God does look at it as attacking him. So be careful.

Let's follow this train of thought in Romans chapter 14. Romans chapter 14.

Romans chapter 14, verse 4.

Who are you to judge another man's servant? You see, because when you're complaining, you're basically judging other people. You're making a judgment on others.

To his own master, he stands for false. Indeed, he will be able to stand for God. He's able to make him stand. Look at verse 10. Look at verse 10. But why do you judge your brother?

Why do you show contempt for your brother?

Are we complaining? Are we judging? Are we saying something there that's going to hurt?

For we all shall stand before the judgment seat of Christ.

For it is written, As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow down to me, and every tongue shall confess to God. So then, each of us shall give account of himself to God. Therefore, let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother's way.

How are we going to do something? Are we going to do something that is going to cause somebody else to stumble? If we're going to do something that's going to cause somebody else to stumble, what is the heart? Is it selfish ambition? Or is it the best of the others? So how are we going to do it? So we've got to think about this very carefully. You know, you may have some information which may be true. I'm not saying it's not true. It may be false. It may be misinformation. But if you and I don't have authority to spread it, don't. Don't. Look at Romans 13, just one chapter beyond.

Romans 13 verse 8. Oh, no one, anything, except to love one another. Back to the question, how are we going to act? And the mechanism of wisdom, which is based on love, which is based on outgoing concern for the other person, or on selfish ambition. What are we going to do? Look at verse 10. Love does no harm to a neighbor. Love does no harm to a neighbor. So if you and I are going to do something and we know it's going to cause harm, are we going to think twice? Are we going to be careful in our hearts about what we're going to do or not do?

Are we going to do it for selfish ambition? Are we going to do it for outgoing concern for the other so that we don't cause harm to the others? We've got to think about this. It's serious stuff. Well, you can say, oh, but it's true! Whatever. If it's true, maybe how do you know whether that person has repented or not? You don't know. Look in James chapter 4 verse 11. James chapter 4 verse 11. Do not speak evil of one another, brethren. He who speaks evil of a brother.

Even if it's true. But be careful. Because if you're doing that, you're judging the brother. And therefore, you are speaking evil of the law. And therefore, you're judging the law. Well, there is quite something to think about and meditate about. Really. But if you judge the law, you're not a doer of the law, but a judge. So let's be careful, then. We're not judging and condemning others. Sure, we have to speak the truth. But you speak the truth in love. Ephesians 4, 15. Speak the truth in love. And if it's not going to be in love, if it's going to cause harm, maybe it's not the time for it.

Because love conceals many sins, right? So it is. Let's look at Proverbs 10, verse 32. Proverbs 10, verse 32. Proverbs 10, verse 32. The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable. Proverbs 10, verse 32. The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable. It doesn't say, know what is true. I'm not saying to lie. I'm saying be careful because you can't speak the truth in a way that's not in love. So we've got to do it in love. But the mouth of the wicked, what is perverse?

So we've got to be careful with our lips. What comes out of our lips, out of our mouth. Because the lips, the mouth, is a tongue of fire. A tongue is a fire. And what comes out basically proceeds from the heart. So if we're not doing it in a way that is acceptable, is there something wrong in our heart? I don't know. I need to look at myself. We all have to look at ourselves time and time again.

Look at Proverbs 12, verse 18. There is one who speaks like the pure things of a sword. There is some person that speaks like the pure things of a sword. We've got to be careful. If we say things that it's going to cut, be careful. But the tongue of the wives, which has the meekness of wisdom, promotes health. See, there's two contrasts here. You see, one creates pain. The opposite of health is like the piercings of a sword.

And maybe you and I may say something. We haven't kind of engaged the brain into gear, and it comes out, and then sometimes it takes years. Years to heal, because you and I have said something just carelessly. And so, we've got to be careful and look at our heart. I was talking to somebody yesterday, and this person was saying to me, Now, I want to do this. The person was looking, had a job often.

Don't want to go into details. But the person was saying to me, I want advice because I want to turn down this job often. But I want to turn it down in a way that I don't hurt this company or these individuals that are offering me that job often. He said, that to me is so important. That touched my heart, because that is a how. It's not the what to do, but how to do it in a loving, kind way, not the cause or the hence of other people. That is so important. Look at Proverbs 18 verse 21.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue.

Remember the Proverbs I read earlier that said, Be careful with the heart, because out of it spring the issues of life, and out of the balance of the heart the mouth speaks. And he says, Yeah, death and life are in the power of the tongue. What you and I say is in effect others. It can hurt others deeply. Or it can be a great source of encouragement.

Which one would you like to be?

And that requires us first to look at our hearts, and to change our hearts, so that whatever comes out of our mouth is acceptable and godly in godly wisdom.

Look at the law. Proverbs 19 verse 16. And now in the sermon, we also... I beg your pardon, Leviticus 19 verse 16. What did I say? Sorry. Leviticus 19 verse 16. So many of you also looked at Leviticus 19, but now I want you to look at one other section, yeah? Verse 16. You shall not go about as a tailbearer, as a gossiper, as a whisperer, as telling secrets among your people.

You see, so YHWH is a commandment that gives an instruction in the law for us not to be a gossiper. We've got to be careful.

I saw this somewhere, and I thought it was cute, so I'm going to share it with you. He says, a dog has more friends than people because they move the tail instead of the tongue.

Anyway, I thought that was a good story. Anyway, let's go on to Proverbs 11 verse 12.

He was devoid of wisdom, despises his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his peace.

In other words, sometimes it's better to shut up.

I don't mean it negatively, that's why I said. I just said, sometimes it's better just to keep quiet, not to say anything, to hold your peace. Because that is wisdom sometimes.

Look at verse 13. It says, we read verse 12. Verse 13, a palebearer reveals secrets. If you're a gossiper, if you're a whisperer, you're a...

You know, if you reveal secrets, maybe it's not in your power to reveal. You don't have that authority. It could be true, but sometimes it's right to only say certain things at a certain time. For instance, God's got secrets. In the tronomy 29, 29 says, the secrets of God belong to God. That's it! No man knows the day or the hour of his coming.

That's it!

But he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter.

He who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter. There are certain things that is better than said.

It's better than said. In other words, it's better not to have this loose tongue. That's really what it is.

Look at Proverbs 26, verse 20. Proverbs 26, verse 20.

There are so many problems about the use of the tongue. It's just so instructive.

Where there is no wood, the fire goes out.

You know, where there's no fuel, the fire will stop.

And where there is no tailbearer, strife ceases.

So, if we stop speaking negatively against others, if we're not adding fuel to the fire, if we conceal your matters as it's holding it and holding peace, we're helping towards peacemaking rather than division.

Look at 1 Timothy, chapter 5.

1 Timothy, chapter 5.

1 Timothy, chapter 5.

Yes, talking about widows that...

...maybe they should get married because they were young.

And look at in verse 11, say, but to refuse the younger widows for when they have begun to grow wanton again cross, they desire to marry.

So, you see, I have a specific situation that was there.

But look at verse 13, it says, and besides, they learn to be idle.

You know, they're not busy, they're not active.

I mean, I am concerned about certain people that seem to have all the time in the world.

All the time in the world.

Get busy, do some things, serve.

You know, do something, be constructive, because it says, besides, they learn to be idle, wondering about from house to house, you know, as they go, they don't have anything.

So they go from this place to that place, what?

To talk, to gossip.

He says, and wondering about from house to house, and not only idle, but also gossips and busy bodies.

And, oh, have you heard this? Have you heard that?

And what are you doing?

Saying things which they ought not to.

We've got to be careful, brethren. We've got to be careful, brethren.

We really have to be careful.

So, you and I, for instance, have been offended.

Somebody has done said, has done something, that has caused offense.

That happens. How do we handle it?

Many people say, well, Matthew 18, which I'm not against, and I'll show you, it's one of the steps in Porter, but the first thing they say was, God your brethren and tell him.

And I've seen some people taking that approach, and being, coming across so pointing, that it's hurtful.

So, let's look at a few points about how to react when you have been hurt.

First one. Is it true?

Is it true? Don't believe everything you hear.

Get the facts.

I mean, that's what we hear in the news today.

People are going, blowing up things. Is it true?

Get the facts.

Proverbs 14 verse 15. Proverbs 14 verse 15.

The simple believes every word, but the prudent considers well his steps.

The simple believes every word.

So, people say something in the news.

Hey, be careful. Is it true? Get the facts.

Consider well your steps.

Don't allow your heart to be stirred by some talk or whatever, and then you say things that you shouldn't say.

So, before you react, is it true? Is it true? Then.

Then, is it necessary to react?

Is it necessary to react?

In other words, can you minimize and let it go?

Look at 1st Peter chapter 2. 1st Peter chapter 2. 1st Peter chapter 2.

Verse 21 through 23.

1st Peter chapter 2 verse 21 to 23.

23 available.

For to this you were called. Now, brethren, you and I were called into the church. For what reason? Or to preach the gospel?

Or, I've been called into the church to do this, this, this. Well, look at the reason. Yeah, one of the reasons why you and I called.

For this reason you were called because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example that you should follow his steps.

In other words, you and I were called to suffer.

So, when somebody offends you, can you suffer wrongly and shut up and minimize the issue?

In other words, is it necessary to react?

Continue reading in verse 22.

Who committed no sin? You know, the following steps Christ. Who committed no sin, nor was deceitful found in his mouth. Who, when he was reviled, did not revile in return. For when he suffered, he did not threaten, but committed himself to him, who judges graciously.

So, if somebody gives you an offense, maybe, maybe, a way to turn around is to say, don't fight back.

Maybe. Now, I know there was a time when Paul said, hey, you are trying to beat me and I'm a Roman, you know, you're out of the law. So, there is a time to stand up. So, I'm not saying there isn't.

But, are we getting involved into something that maybe you shouldn't get involved in? Look at Proverbs 20, verse 3. Look at Proverbs 20, verse 3.

It is honorable for a man to stop striving, since any fool can start a quarrel.

Any fool can start an argument, but it's an honor for you to stop striving. Why is it that when there is an argument, we always, or maybe I, we always have to have the last word.

The other one says, but, there is, but.

Why not allow the other person to have the last word?

And that's hard. But try that.

You know, quite often we want to have the last word.

Yeah, but. And the other one also wants to have the last word. And there are, and then the thing escalates.

But it's honorable for a man to stop striving.

In other words, don't try and have the last word. It's honorable, in other words, to stop the fight.

How? By sometimes just keeping quiet and let it go. And let it go.

Suffer wrongfully if that is what's required.

Number three.

Protect your heart. In other words, don't allow evil in your heart.

Or put it in other ways. Don't take it personally.

Because when you allow it to come in, and now you're not protecting your heart, you're taking it personally.

And you get this thing building up in your heart, and then it's going to come out in the words.

So, don't take it personally. Don't allow it to come into your heart.

It's their problem, not yours.

Look at Ecclesiastes 7 verse 21.

Proverbs Ecclesiastes 7 verse 21.

In the sermon, it will also be entered into the verses.

If I remember correctly, it was also chapter 7. Look at verse 21.

Also, do not take to heart everything people say.

Don't take to heart everything people say.

It was don't take it personally. Don't allow it to come and affect you.

Lest you hear your servant cursing you.

So, just sometimes...

Let it come. Let it come.

So, mention three points so far. Don't believe everything you hear. Is it true?

Try and minimize. Try and, if possible, is it necessary to allow it to suffer? And don't take it personally.

Another point is, think. Think before you react, or before you respond, or before you think wrong of the other person.

Think. Look at Proverbs 15.

Proverbs 15, verse 28.

Proverbs 15, verse 28.

The heart of the righteous studies how to answer.

Like I have mentioned, this person was talking to me. How do I answer this to this person so I don't hurt this person?

In other words, the heart of the righteous studies how to answer.

But the mouth of the wicked pulls forth evil.

In other words, the heart of the righteous takes time to reflect and to think about it before he puts into gear and starts shooting.

The heart of the righteous studies how to answer.

So, maybe you and I need to study, we need to meditate, we need to think about, and therefore we need to respond in a way that is going to bring reconciliation in a way of love.

Rather than engage in gear, in that tongue into gear and power and shoot and cause offense.

That's the fourth point. I haven't gone yet to Matthew 18. It's coming.

But there's a few things to do before Matthew 18.

Number five. Do it with love.

In other words, win over the evil with good.

Win over the evil with good.

Romans 12. Romans 12 verse 17 through 21. Romans 12, 17 verse 21.

Repay no one evil for evil. So they have given you a gossip or some story and it's hurting you and it's offending.

It says, repay not evil for evil. Don't repay with evil.

Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. In other words, think about meditate on good things in the sight of men.

If it is possible, now, I know sometimes it's not possible, but if it is possible, as much as it depends on you, as much as you can do it, live peaceably with all men.

Beloved, do not avenge yourselves. So they've done something to you. Don't avenge.

But rather give place to God to act and allow God to exercise His judgment, His wrath.

For it is written, vengeance is mine. You know what belongs to God? God will repay it. God will put it right. Leave it in God's hands.

So, if you have been hurt, and something is being said against you, is it true? Can you minimize it and allow it to suffer? Don't take it personally. Think. Don't think evil before you respond. And when? When evil was good. That's what it says. Vengeance is mine. I'll repay it. Says the Lord. Therefore, if your enemy is hungry, feed him.

Talk about your enemy. If he's thirsty, give him a drink. For in so doing, and he has another amazing phrase, you will heap calls of fire on his head.

Wow. Think about it. Meditate about it. The Bible says, Selah. You know, when it says Selah, you read a proverb or you read a psalm and it says Selah. It says, stop, pause, and think about it.

You will heap calls of fire on his head. Why? Because you're leaving him to God to exercise the revenge. Not you.

Do not overcome the evil, but overcome evil with good. So there is five points before Matthew 18. Now let's go to Matthew 18. Yes. Matthew 18 verse 15. After you've done all those, and you've considered all those, then yes. Matthew 18 verse 15.

Moreover, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. In other words, it's not a gossip. Do you know what he did or said?

Oh, how? It's so easy to do that. As a minister sometimes, I hear some people come and say, yeah, the person that does to me, the to me, go and sort it out of that person.

I said, have you gone and sorted out with me first? No. Well, what does Matthew 18 15 say?

But even before that, do all the other points first. You see, because if then, if he hears you, you've gained a brother. But if he doesn't hear you, because you've started this process, you got it now, it's collected, and now it could mean that he will be kicked out of the church. So therefore, is it big enough for that action? Is it big enough for that action? Because you are now taking up, or maybe, yes, you've talked about it, you talk to him, and he doesn't accept it.

Or she doesn't accept it. Maybe then you say, I'm going to leave it. I'm not going to take it any further. I'm going to forgive. I'm going to suffer wrongfully. And that's it. Maybe. But if you want to proceed that, our final outcome is that he is kicked out of the church, or she gets kicked out of the church. Do you want that? Does that sin justify that action?

So think about it. Obviously, you want to gain a brother. You don't want to gain points. It's not a selfish ambition. You want to gain a brother. And therefore, if you're going to do Matthew 18, never forget about 2 Timothy 2, 24 and 25. If you're going to do Matthew 18, you should mark it in your Bible next to Matthew 18, 15, 2 Timothy 2, verse 24 and 25. Because the two go hand in hand. Also, let's read 2 Timothy 2, verse 24 and 25.

So they may know the truth. So if you're going to get your brother, you've got to go in a gentle way. Not arrogant, saying, Ah, you do this against me and I want to sort it out and you better repent. But you've got to come to him or her in a gentle way. In humility. In humility.

Because it is possible that you and I have done something to trigger it anyway. It's possible that you and I may have actually done something that started escalating.

So our attitude must be one which is meek, teachable. In humility.

So, in the end, as we conclude, let's look at Matthew chapter 12. Matthew chapter 12, verse 34. Matthew 12, verse 34.

12, verse 34.

Brute of vitals, how can you being evil speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart, mouth speaks. A good man, out of the good treasure of his heart, brings forth good things.

And an evil man, out of the evil treasure, brings forth evil things. You see, the fruit of our lips is so important.

But I say to you that for every idle word man may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. That's a frightful statement.

I better, and we all better, be careful that when we engage our tongue, they were given thought about it. Because there's every idle word that comes out of our mouth, we're going to have to give account of it in the day of judgment.

For by your words, you will be justified. And by your words, you will be condemned.

So think carefully about what we say. Don't allow this fire that is built in us, this tongue which actually is driven by the heart, don't allow it to go the wrong way.

Be careful. Avoid. Avoid gossips. Avoid causing the struggle, causing the vision. And if you are a victim of it, is it true? Is it necessary to? Can we minimize it and suffer?

Do we need to take it personally? Try not to take it personally. Think before you react. When overcome evil with good. And only then consider going to your brother. And if you do, go it in a very teachable and humble way. Brethren, think about it this way. Your tongue is like a thermometer of your conversion.