The Power of Words

Well, unless you were living in a cave over the last few days, or traveling in Outer Mongolia someplace and just completely cut off from any communication—and I don't know if you'd be cut off even in Outer Mongolia today with the way the world is wired even through satellite—but you were in a complete vacuum, you missed two interesting items of news that dominated these past few days. The first one was the exoneration of three young men from Duke University, who were members of the Duke lacrosse team down there, who more than a year ago were accused by a young lady of rape. That dominated the news at the time and off and on throughout the various news cycles over the last more than a year. And gradually, as more and more information became available about that, it became evident that there was no evidence, clear evidence, to support the young lady's allegations. And finally, after a great deal of investigation, the North Carolina Attorney General stepped in this week and, after ruling, made a decision that there was no evidence and that the boys were—young men were—innocent, at least of that charge, and that there was no charges, whatever, to be brought forth, and that it was a dead case. And the prosecuting attorney there will have to face the music in his way. The young girl, you know, all kinds of information has come out that perhaps she has some emotional issues and at least a charge was made there. And although, you know, in that case, a charge was made that appears by all reasonable evidence and search is baseless. And yet it created national attention. Reputations were sullied. Things were said. A lot of anger and emotions were riled up over the result of an accusation made that appears now by all human evidence and human means of gathering evidence was completely false.

The second item this week that took place that dominated the news cycle—and it's interesting what does dominate our news cycle—was the statement by a well-known national radio personality by the name of Don Imus, a statement that he made about 10 or 11 days ago after the Rutgers girls basketball team came in second in the final game of the NCAA women's basketball tournament a week and a half ago. They came in second to the University of Tennessee. And in reporting it on his radio program on Wednesday morning a week ago, the sportscaster made the report of the news of the defeat. They had some footage playing and Mr. Imus made some very derogatory racial statement about the girls team. It was a despicable statement. It was reprehensible. It was malicious and it was racist and it was wrong. And it had no bearing on the report—the girls and their character or anything connected with the story. It was a very dumb comment, but it was made at 615 in the morning when nobody necessarily is watching those things, although people are. But it was clipped and picked up by a media watch group. And it within a few days became a major, major issue and led to him being pulled from his program on MSNBC, the cable channel, and then ultimately CBS radio Thursday night, I think, pulled Mr. Imus from his contract after a number of years with them and a very lucrative program and a checkered reputation and a checkered past. Don Imus more or less invented the term shock jock 35 or more years ago of just being an outrageous radio personality in New York City. And his personal life has been a train wreck. And yet in recent years, he kind of redeemed himself in some ways by charity work that he's done. He built a ranch in New Mexico for kids with cancer and has, in a sense, cleaned his act up from drugs and alcohol and redeemed himself somewhat. But he still had what might be called a potty mouth by some standards. And it just got to him. He got caught in a statement that he made and all the other things that have gone with it I won't necessarily comment about. There's stories within stories in both of these situations. And yet when you look at both of them, they have one thing in common. Words. Words got out of people's mouths. In one case, an accusation by a young lady. And on the other case, words by a 67-year-old white man about a black, predominantly black basketball team that had no sense whatsoever and had no connection and just was completely reprehensible. But you paid a price professionally, personally, and whatever, economically, whatever throughout that. Both of them are illustrations of the power of words.

Words that can heal and words that can hurt. Words are very, very powerful things, if you want to look at it that way. You and I say multitudes of words on a regular basis. We talk, we discipline, we communicate, we talk about things, places, people, and we are all balled up and we all talk and we have a lot of things that we perhaps need to learn. As I walk through all of both of these particular stories and watching them through the last few days, there are a number of obvious lessons that could come forth. But the most obvious was one that I thought would be good for us to just review and talk about because, again, to one degree or the other, we at least most of us have been aware of the story, whether we know all the details or care about the details of the people and the incidents involved. There is a lesson there in terms of the words that we speak and the things that we say and how often any of us have been caught by our own words and said things that have not been appropriate or have come back on us later on from someone and we've been challenged and perhaps humiliated or had to apologize for hurts and emotional upset that our words caused or in some cases by maybe even passing along information, gossip that was just completely untrue. All of us at any particular time have a lot to learn from this matter of words. Let's turn over to James chapter 3 and let's look. The Bible has...there are innumerable proverbs and statements throughout the Bible that illustrate or talk directly to the matter of the way we communicate, the words of our life. What James writes here in James chapter 3 is probably one of the most interesting and well it's a very succinct set of statements that he makes and gets right to the point. James was one of the most blunt of the writers of the New Testament in terms of ethics and how we conduct ourselves as Christians. But in chapter 3 of James, he says this, My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment. Anyone who is in a position of a teacher is going to have a stricter judgment and that can be from one's peers, from a governing body, from a whole community, or ultimately from God. A minister, as a teacher, has a stricter judgment from God, perhaps, than anyone else, and how we handle the Word of God. If you're a teacher or a supervisor in an office, the words you use to communicate with students or employees are going to be held to a higher accountability than perhaps an entry-level person in that same situation because of the position that you have supervising other people.

That's the way society is set up, and this is what James is speaking to. You're in a leadership, supervisory, teaching, management-type role. You're going to be held to a very higher standard. Not that any of us are exempt from it, but we all should understand that.

Verse 2, "...for we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body." We're right there at the beginning here. The whole argument is all set and done because we're all told that all of us stumble in word. And if we don't, then he says you're a perfect man or woman, and which one of us is going to raise our hand to say that we are a perfect man or woman?

Any of you? Okay, so I guess we've all fit this, that we've all stumbled in this particular area, and therefore we are not perfect, and we're not able to bridle the whole body. Indeed, we put bets in horses' mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body. A powerful animal as a horse can be trained, broken, and guided and led because of a small piece of metal that rests in their mouth, between their teeth, and that you can turn that very powerful animal with the pressure that you put on that bridle. He uses another example in verse 4.

He says, look also at ships. Although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. Again, an example, when you look at any ship, no matter what it might be, an old sailing ship or even a modern cruiser, by comparison the rudder on the ship is much, much smaller than the rest of the mechanism, the rest of the ship. Very, very small, and that yet guides it, directs it in whatever direction the captain of the ship decides to put it.

And so both of these are illustrations as he winds up to deliver the pitch here in verse 5 about the tongue. Even so, the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles. And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body and sets on fire the course of nature.

And it is set on fire by hell. Now those are strong words to describe the impact that words coming off of our tongue, tripping off of our tongue, sliding off of our tongue have. How many times have we said something, sent a message, and realized that we spoke out of school too soon, too harshly, without enough information. We get embarrassed, we get corrected, we get called for on it, and we feel horrible. And that's exactly what he says here. The whole, it sets our whole, verse 6, it sets among our members that it defiles the whole body.

We can become emotionally distraught to where we can even be depressed, we can be certainly upset by something that we say, or something that has said to us or about us. It works as it comes in from other directions. But it impacts our whole body. If it impacts our mental state and how we feel about ourselves or someone else or situation, and we get all emotionally distressed about it, then our whole body, in a sense, is set on fire until it either has time to, you know, blood pressure goes up, heart rate starts to pound, might get a headache, we might even, you know, retaliate in kind with our own words, we might take it out on the cat, the dog, children, husband or wife, employers, employees, someone else, in an emotional frenzy that can be stirred up because of the fire that is there.

This is how this fire is meant, of all the things that can spin off of a word or a phrase or something that is said. In verse 7, For every kind of beast and bird of reptile and creature of the sea is tamed, and has been tamed by mankind, but no man can tame the tongue.

It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. See how blunt and direct James can be in his language that he uses to describe some of these issues of life here. In verse 9, he says, With it, the tongue, we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men who have been made in the similitude of God. So we can kneel and pray to God, praise God, thank God, glorify God, honor God with our words, and at the same time, with the same tongue, get up, go out, and then curse someone else, another person made in the image of God, a fellow human being.

And we've all done it. We've all been guilty of it. And it is a very powerful force. Verse 10, Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing.

My brethren, these things ought not to be so.

Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? The answer is no. You have bitter water, rancid water coming out of one source that's going to be continually coming out.

How many of you have ever drank black sulfur spring water?

Anyone? Black sulfur spring water. Terrible stuff. Had a gentleman that lived in a place down in northern part of Tennessee years ago when I lived down there. I remember at a place called Red Boiling Springs. And 100 years ago, it was a place where people would go to take the waters. There was a resort spa there, and they would go there to take the waters out of this place. And I said, and he was telling me that the well and the water source was still there, that people used to go and fill their buckets up or their jugs and go and spend money for a few days to take in the waters. And he was telling me about that. And I said, well, bring me some of that water sometime. I'd like to see what it tastes like and if it's that good, you know. So he did. Brought it to me one week. And there's little black things floating around in there when you kind of shook it up. And I took it home and opened it up, and it smelled like rotten eggs and took a sip of it. And that was about as far as it went. And so decades after, you know, anyone found it or whatever, it's still putting out what to me at least is a vial water. But you find a good source of water, and it's going to be putting out good water. This is what James is talking about here. A good spring is going to put out good water.

A bad source is going to put out bitter water. Out of our heart, out of the thoughts of our mind, come our words. And so all too often, those things reside too close to the surface.

Now, you have to wonder why would a 67-year-old man at the top of his field in terms of entertainment and being a radio personality would instantaneously, just like that, make a comment about a girl's basketball team and just, you know, say something that just came out. Obviously, there were the thought was somewhere close to the surface of his heart or his mind for it to come out as it was prompted by his producer, the way it worked out. And it admittedly, such talk is part of the culture, at least, that he has promoted over the years. Although, in some ways, Don Imus is a very complicated individual. I have to confess that I've watched him over the recent years, at times, on his morning radio show. And he's a very complicated individual to watch and to figure out. But nonetheless, words like that have to be fairly close to the surface to bubble out, to come out at a moment like that without any provocation, without any other knowable reason for something like that to be said. I have looked at him and realized that in many ways he's redeemed himself from alcohol and drugs by his good works. But it's obvious that he needs a bit more redemption in other ways. And who knows what the rest of his life will bring. Time will tell on that, but there's still some room there for improvement. He's not perfect, and neither are we. Verse 12 here, he says, Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh. And so, again, from out of the depths of the earth come the fresh or the rancid waters of a spring or a well, and out of the depths of our mind, of our heart, and our thoughts, and our lifestyle, and the things that we read, things that we spend our time thinking about, and even mulling over in our mind and heart. If we are quick to jump to a wrong or, let's say, a malicious report about someone, it could be because that within our mind, our thoughts about that individual go round and round in our own heart to maliciousness. And so that when we hear something that is compatible with what's already fomenting in our mind, it's what we very quickly and very instantly go to. Which is why, again, this matter of the tongue and the words that come out is a matter of the heart.

Now, on the first day of Unleavened Bread, I gave a sermon that basically talked about Hebrews 8, verse 13 and 14, and the description there of the New Covenant, whereby God's Spirit writes His law on our mind and on our heart. And that is a process that goes on for all the days of our life. And this is an object example, a very direct example of the area, one area of how God's Spirit needs to be writing in our heart and in our mind the things of His law, the things of His Spirit, the fruits of His Spirit. And the point is, the thoughts that we have about people, about situations, are going to ultimately find their way to the surface and come out, because they're on our heart. And they've been written there by cruel life experience, by other people, by what we've put there, what life has put there. And to the degree it's still there, at some point it will come out, because it's a part of our inner library, our inner memory banks, our inner hard drive. It's written there. And until we use God's Spirit and practice that way of life and ask God through heartfelt prayer and sincere study and thought and effort on our part and coupled with God's help to read ourselves of those things, of those fears, then they'll still be there. And we'll go back to it from time to time. And on this issue of the things that come out of our mouth and the words that we speak, this will happen.

And we all should understand the enormity and the power that words have.

There's an old Jewish teaching that compares the tongue to an arrow. I don't know that the Bible compares the tongue to an arrow, but the Jews in some of their stories compare the tongue to an arrow. And there's one story about a... well, I'll say that story for another one, but there's a story about a rabbi who was asked by another individual why that is. Why not another weapon, he said, perhaps a sword? Why an arrow? And the rabbi told him, because if a man unsheaves his sword to kill his friend and his friend pleads for mercy, the man may be mollified and return the sword to his scabbard. But an arrow, once it is shot, cannot be returned. Once you even pull the sword, you still got it in your hand, and you can put it back in. But once you let go of that arrow that's been shot from the bow, you can't bring it back. So it is with our words. Once our words go out, we can't bring them back in. We've already said them. Or we've already written them on a letter or on an email and pushed the send button or dropped it in the mailbox. And short of crawling down into the mailbox, we can't get them back out. And that would be a very difficult thing for most of us in this room to crawl into a very small mailbox, wouldn't it? Unless we sent our kids down in there, then we might not get them out. They might wind up postmarked and sent to who knows where. As James says here, man is created in the image of God. And God said in the beginning, he said, let there be light. And he created with words, and he spoke the creation into existence when we really look at the account there in Genesis of the creation. He spoke it into existence. Let there be light. And he divided the light from the day. Words create. Our words create good relationships, good value, good friendships. We're all created in the image of God. God has the power to create with words, and we can create with words. We can create moods of elation. We can create gloom. We can create feelings of love or feelings of hate. We can create envy, or we can create joy just by our words. We can inspire a person to accomplishment, or we can send them into the depths of despair and depression. And just such a harsh feeling of themselves that they may not be able to accomplish anything. Words can sculpture a reputation of integrity, or words can demolish years of effort spent building up a legacy by what we say or what might be said about us. And we have to be very, very careful in how we use words, because once they escape our mouth, they cannot be returned. I don't know if the young lady that made the accusations against the Duke lacrosse players wishes that her words could be returned. I don't know what her state of mind is. I'm pretty certain Don Imus would love to get his words back and be able to erase that tape, but it's too late. They were clipped almost immediately by one media watcher sitting in an office in, I think, in Virginia or Washington, D.C., and instantly put out on the airwaves by those who watch for faux pas by any personality, whether they're conservative or liberal. I mean, communication in the media today is, in this case with the Imus controversy, is just an example of another dimension of what we are dealing with in our world today. People, whether they're liberal or conservative, white, black, or whatever, are going to are being scrutinized by watchdogs of all different types. And there is, you know, this war, part of the culture war, is aimed at shutting off avenues of communication for various political groups or people of various persuasions, depending on, you know, how they go. And legislation is moving in that direction.

And at some point, I wonder if the church could effectively preach the gospel because of certain legislation that could cause it to be shut down in certain areas. I mean, we get, if we write something about Islam in our publications, our people in England and Australia look very, very carefully at any of the articles in the review process when we deal with the subject of Islam and what we say. Because in those areas especially, there are laws in the books dealing with hate speech against various ethnic groups or religious groups, and they are very, very sensitive to it down there, more so than we may be right here in the United States at this point. And so, I mean, we've had teleconferences and messages back and forth over the recent years, especially since 9-11, just on that particular issue alone. And whether you're dealing with homosexuality, lesbianism, other social issues, those are things as well that are a crime to talk about or against in certain countries of our world today. So you could be prosecuted. If you were an organization, a church in those areas in Canada, if you're a minister and you refuse to perform a same-sex marriage, you can be prosecuted in Canada today. If you let it out, the reason you would not perform that marriage is because of your feelings about it. I think there may be a loophole that if you state and can state clearly your religious view, you might be able to get out of it. But there could be a case brought that could tie you up in Canada on that particular issue. So that's all part of a larger issue within our society today that is shaping it in a direction completely different than most of us have been used to or accustomed to.

But once we come to understand, when we look at this matter of the tongue, we come to understand the true meaning and the true purpose of our life, then all of us have the responsibility to work to use our words and to speak carefully in every aspect of our life, to speak carefully about one another, to use our language to enhance people's lives and those with whom we come in contact with. You know, in Ephesians 4, Paul states the essence of the mission or the purpose of our Christian life and God's Spirit working within us. In Ephesians 4, he brings it down here and he makes a statement in this passage in verse 13 that speaks to the working of all the parts of the body toward edifying the body of Christ in verse 12. Verse 13, "'Til we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ.'" We're all striving. We are working toward that end, becoming like Christ. That is what the Days of Unleavened Bread point us toward. This is what the end result of God's Word being written on our heart and mind is all about. And we would be, you know, to that point of a perfect man, which much in the same way that as James picks up on it says that if you bridle the tongue, you're a perfect man. So again, it's a matter of understanding the purpose of life. We're created in the image of God. We're going to ultimately be in the family of God. Then we need to work carefully toward the point where the words of our mouth speak carefully of one another and our language enhances life and de-stresses our own life. You know, sometimes it's just a matter of sometimes not even saying anything is the solution and resisting the urge to retort, to retaliate, or say something that in kind that maybe makes us feel better. There are times just to walk away, and there are times to realize that spreading words about others just need to stop. There's a beautiful story I heard a number of years ago that I've used before, but it illustrates the point very, very well. It's the story of a man who went through a small community slandering a minister. And one day the man heard a sermon, perhaps just like I giving here this morning, and he begged forgiveness. And he went to the minister and he asked for forgiveness. And he said, I'll do anything that takes to seek penance and your forgiveness and make amends. And so the minister told him to take a feather pillow, rip it apart, go out in his backyard, and throw the feathers up in the air. So the man did that, emptied the whole pillowcase in the air. And he came back to the minister and he said, okay, I've done that. Now can I be forgiven? Will you forgive me? And the minister said almost. Now he said, go and pick up every feather. And the man said, well, that's impossible. They've been scattered to the wind. They've blown all over the neighborhood, all over the town. They're like Forrest Gump's feather. They're just floating from here to there, hundreds of them, thousands of them. He said, it's impossible task. And the minister said precisely, precisely. That's the way our words work. That's the way our slander, our gossip about someone works. They get picked up on the wind and they get passed along. Hopefully every one of us have grown up to the point where we realize this one truth of life, one of the undeniable truths of life. Nobody keeps a secret.

Nobody keeps a secret. Not even you. So you tell somebody it's going to go on to somebody else.

It'll, that person will pass it on and a handful, a dozen very quickly can know about what one person has said, just like the feathers, and they can't be brought back. So you go and you denigrate somebody to a group of people, multiply that out, it's going to go all over the place. You could not almost go back and necessarily apologize and bring those words back in to from everybody to which they have gone. They just can't be done. And that's what this particular point brings out. There's, we are awash in words today, and there's a great deal of public acrimony and anger that comes out in so many of our talk shows, of the political discussion shows that go on. I admit to being a news and political junkie, and I watch a lot of these particular shows, I guess, and sometimes literally I've had to just kind of turn them off or go on to others because they get two points of view illustrated and spoken by two people, and they'll be talking over one another in some of these shows, and you realize that at a certain point that it's accomplishing nothing is just being done for shock value, and you flip the channel and go to the discovery channel or something else. You almost have to. But it does illustrate the debate that is going on, the opposing views in our society that is set up, and so much of our media approach to it is to set up the issue so that there is a debate, and very little is accomplished in 30 minutes or sometimes five minutes that may be allotted to the discussion of a particular item, except to make people mad. And so often, you know, you the viewer and me, we can be caught up in something or be irritated by what is what is said. It's something, you know, you have to recognize what it is and handle it well and understand it, but that's so much a part of our society and the argument culture that we are in, and it rubs off on us. And we can perpetuate that so much in our own life if we're not very careful. In Leviticus chapter 19, there is a principle brought out here that really is a basic, ethic, principle, law, rule, whatever you want to call it in Leviticus 19 that deals with this. It says here, among one of the principles, Leviticus 19, 16, you shall not go about as a tail-bearer among your people, nor shall you take a stand against the life of your neighbor. I am the Lord. Do not go about as a tail-bearer. In other words, again, watch your words and don't feel that you have to pass along everything or say everything.

Now, long ago, I had, and I've learned this the hard way in my job as a minister, I deal with people, I deal with people issues, people problems, your problems, my problems, church problems, and there are time and places and ways to communicate various things. And there's also, more often than not, ways, times, and places not to communicate information. We do have a code of confidentiality within our ministry, just like any other professional counselor has, of keeping things quiet or keeping things to ourselves. And sometimes people don't realize that, and yet I've tried to maintain that over the years. I've not always been perfect in it, but I think more times than not I have been. You learn when you're discussing situations that the less said, the better off everybody's going to be. Even in situations where you may be talking even within a peer-to-peer or professional way. If you're in a business situation, an office situation, and you have to discuss something regarding the company, the organization, or employees with others, you should be very, very careful what you say and to whom you say it, and how it is communicated, for all number of reasons. I mean, in the corporate environment, that can very quickly and easily lead to lawsuits against the company, can lead to dismissals, and a number of legal entanglements and complications there within our own human relations and people. Obviously, it speaks to itself how that can tear down relationships. The integrity that all of us carry of keeping our word and keeping a word is also so very important so that people can feel that they can talk to us, talk to you, talk to me, and that it will not go any further or not be used in any way to embarrass or further communicate a particular issue in people's lives.

What is being addressed here in verse 16 is the idea of guarding your tongue, guarding your words. Don't go as a tail-bearer among people, and don't go telling everything that you know in regard to individuals. One of the things I learned early on from my dad was don't tell everything that you know. He used to tell me that. He dealt in business, and he was looking at it more from a business perspective, but he had learned that, you know, don't tell everything you know.

That can cost you business. That can cost you relationships, and business is all about relationships. But it's a good principle. Don't tell everything you know just because you know it. It doesn't always lift you up. It may make you feel superior to the individual for a moment, as if you've got information or you are somehow striking back or retaliating, but it doesn't really diminish that other person in terms of maybe their position, their job, their relationship. It doesn't really pump you up in any way within our own mind for a very short period of time. In our environment today, we've got so many things to understand and to look at and to be aware of. I became aware of the matter of email a few years ago after getting into and starting to use email. You know, it's only been about 11-12 years that I've been using it. And with the advent of the internet in the mid-1990s, eventually, you know, everybody's got email, and you start using it, and you start communicating back and forth. One of the things you learn very quickly with email is how easy it is to communicate with people. I mean, it's easier than sitting down and writing a letter. Sometimes it's easier than picking up the telephone, and you can respond to a message very quickly. I mean, it has great uses there for dealing with groups or projects. You can write one memo to 15 people, punch the button, and everybody's communicated to you. You don't have to lick stamps and duplicate that and mail it off like you used to. I remember years ago, 20 years ago, if you were organizing a project that you had to communicate with half a dozen congregations and pastors, it was a full-day job typing up the memo, getting it duplicated, because I didn't have a copier in those days, so I'd have to go someplace and get it copied, and then coming back and putting it all in envelopes, and then putting it on stamps, and then getting it mailed. I mean, it was a major project. If it was a basketball tournament or some church social that you were communicating information about, those became major projects. Today, three minutes, five minutes, you can get all that information gathered together and email it around the world to dozens of people on a mailing list. Email is one of those things that you learn very quickly about as well, that you can say certain things and send it out.

You can get caught. Sometimes you get caught up in dealing with communications with people, and if things are said or misunderstood, you may respond in kind and send that back in an angry retort. Before you know it, you've got a full-blown issue going between people.

I know one minister a few years ago, when we were all resigning from another organization about 11-12 years ago now, I know one minister that was kind of mulling it over and thinking about it. And in those days, we had email, and I sent in my resignation on email, as most guys were doing at that time. I remember one minister telling me that he accidentally pushed the send button on his resignation letter on the email to the church headquarters at a time he wasn't ready for it. And he didn't realize it. He got a call about an hour later from the Human Resources Department to set in motion his termination. And I think he would have ultimately resigned, but he had a certain hesitation for whatever reason at that point. He composed the letter, but he didn't intend to send it, and he accidentally pushed the send button. And he terminated himself accidentally. I like that. How many times have you received an email from someone and you didn't like the tone that you perceived through there, or what was said, or maybe it was a direct challenge or insult? So you fire back an answer. I've done it. I've learned the hard way how to use email. You don't do that. Frankly, I've come down to the point that I don't deal with any issues anymore on email other than just the Sergeant Friday approach, just the facts, man. Let's just get this information communicated here, there, set up an appointment, this particular program or whatever needs to be done, or certainly matters of encouragement. But I don't get into back and forth on emails anymore because they can be misunderstood.

You have to watch anything that sends out on an email is pretty well permanent as well. And there's a permanent record out there someplace. And in the internet world today, those messages that you write can be put on somebody else's website. They can be put on a blog. They can be seen by hundreds and thousands of people completely out of context without an understanding of what has been said in the whole issues of the situation. There's been a great there was a even a book that I saw just recently come out on email etiquette, but it was addressing it particularly in the corporate sector. Those of you that and I have a corporate email address as well, but you know, when you go to work and you're sending emails on your company computer through your company server, you want to be very careful what you send on that. And quite frankly, the best rule of thumb is don't deal with any personal business on corporate emails, servers, and then be careful what you do send on it because there is a permanent record out there of whatever you send and whatever you do. I mean, even if you surf the web using your corporate computer, there's a permanent record of every website you have gone to out there. So you want to be careful the websites you get on and what you do, there's just an electronic data trail out there. And so much can be said about that, but again, it comes down to the principle that the less said the better. The less that is said, the better at times and to choose our words carefully so that the words we speak encourage, inspire, help, heal, teach. And at times when there is a need, our words as well should deal with issues that need to be dealt with, problems, attitudes, certain situations, but again, in a right way as well. There's one scripture that has always gone back to time and time again in Colossians chapter 4. Among many, again, we could spend all morning just going through Proverbs. I chose these other scriptures this morning to talk about rather than many of the Proverbs that talk about the tongue and our words, but in Colossians chapter 4, there is a scripture that encapsulates the two-edged approach to our words here that I think help us to get a balance in things that we say. Verse 6, it says, Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt. Now, here Paul is talking that our speech should be pleasant, attractive. Grace is a multifaceted concept beyond just the theological concept of grace and forgiveness. There is bound up within this word the understanding of being gracious, being pleasant. I've talked before about you name somebody grace, you name a girl grace, you hope they'll grow up to be a very graceful, gracious individual. Not a klutz, not an embarrassment. So a name should mean something, but the name grace is a word that conveys a whole host of meanings. And especially when it comes to our words, it's talking about being pleasant or being attractive with our words and our communication. Our communication should draw people to us. They should draw us to people to us in the sense that they like what we say. They want to hear more. They feel encouraged. They feel comforted. They feel good about what we say. And don't we all want to feel good. We all want to be like Oprah. Or like Oprah says we want to be.

You know why Oprah's so successful? Because she knows people want to feel good about themselves and somebody else. And so that is an underlying point with her whole approach. People want to feel good about what they see, what they hear, about somebody else, and ultimately about themselves. And that's not that by itself isn't wrong, except that real life isn't always like that.

Real life isn't always like that. We have challenges with ourselves, with other people that walk into our life. Bad things happen to good people. And sometimes we don't feel good. And sometimes people are not good to us or good to us, somebody else. And we have to deal with the circumstances and they can't be solved in 30 minutes or an hour sitcom or television script. It may take a lifetime to sort through certain things that are done.

And they can't be instantaneously solved. But at the base and at the heart, Paul is saying here, let your speech be with grace. Let it be attractive, encouraging, comforting, kind. It should not be said in uncontrollable anger or malicious hatred.

In other words, as James said, we should be in control of our words. And our words should stand the test of time. And yet Paul is saying that there is a time for strong words. That's the salt part of it, seasoned with salt. Salt is a preservative, but salt can be rather bitter, pungent. It can add flavor. Salt is obviously a very needed ingredient. Too much of it destroys a dish, destroys our body, shoots our high blood pressure up, even higher than it should. But just use just right, just the right amount, the right kind, and whatever it can enhance. And it can get across a point. And that's what he's saying here, that salt gives a bit of a taste or a flavor and a bit of a liveliness. And the way Paul is using it here, he's saying, look, don't just be completely insidious or kind of a goody two-shoes in terms of all of your words and everything, because there's a time that you're going to have to say some pointed words to somebody to deal with a problem. Whether it's your child, your husband, your wife, your friend, there's a time you're going to have to address behavior. You're going to have to address something that needs to be changed in a relationship if it's going to continue. How do you do it? Well, that's where the salt part of it comes in. And there should be enough of a pungency, enough of a spice, if you will, to our words that we can know how to answer, know how to correct, know how to deal, and to be appropriate with conversation with the people that we talk to. Grace and salt here. Kindly and pleasant is what he's talking about, yet enhanced with flavor and the right amount of wisdom and sense that makes our words worth remembering. This is what he's talking about. Again, the fewer words the better, but when we have to make them, when we have to write them, when we have to say them, make them memorable as words that build up or help correct a situation, help to redeem an individual, if possible. And if it's impossible, then you know at a certain point words are not going to do any good and you just have to close the chapter, close the book on the relationship, and not say anything else.

The relationship, because the communication ends, the relationship ends.

And again, the fewer words that are said, the better. These two incidents that have been in the headlines in recent days are not the last ones that will be out there. Another politician's going to come along and he'll make a statement about a racial or ethnic group or religious group, and it will be bandied about, it will be used and could derail their candidacy for whatever office. Another Hollywood star will get drunk and go on to a fit against an ethnic group and say things, because again, what's right there below the surface of the tongue, their mind and their heart, and those words will come out, and alcohol will loose the lips. So there'll be others, and we'll have other object examples to learn from, and unfortunately, even in our own midst, you and I will say things or hear words that will be said. At some point, we'll have had enough of either saying it ourselves or having it come back to us, that we will take whatever appropriate steps to correct it in our own heart, in our own life, and among ourselves to where there'll be less of it. But let's learn that lesson from others and make sure that those types of words and things are not found within us. And by all means, let's remember what Christ told us back in Matthew 12. Beginning in verse 35.

Matthew 12 and verse 35. It says, A good man, out of the good treasure of his heart, brings forth good things.

Again, out of his heart. The words begin with the thoughts, the emotions, the things that are rolling around in our mind about life, people, things. An evil man, out of the evil treasure, brings forth evil things. But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. And so we need to be careful and take another step closer to becoming that perfect man by guarding and controlling and corralling our tongue, a very powerful weapon, so that the words that come off of our tongue are more the words that heal rather than words that hurt.