Serving The Church As A Christian

Last week I began a sermon that I didn't get too far in, and I've got to get a lot further in today. But we were going through 1 Timothy chapter 3, so that's going to be our text area for the sermon. You may as well start to go there, and we'll plunge right back into the topic that I started last week. I mentioned we had gone to a regional conference for the pastors in St. Louis about three weeks ago.

And in our conference, we were talking about the training and finding and ordaining of ministers for the future of the church and the church's future leadership within the church.

1 Timothy chapter 3 is the section that you immediately go to to begin to end any discussion regarding that. And yet, 1 Timothy chapter 3 is not just for ministers. And to go through the qualities that one looks for in an elder or an overseer of the congregation, the spiritual overseeing of the congregation, it's good for the congregation to go through it and apply it to themselves. And that's what we began to do last week and where I want to pick up and to continue, and to look at these qualities for all of us. I mentioned that we, as we do know, and every year in the Feast of Tabernacles, we talk about it in a great deal of detail, that we are told from the book of Revelation that we're going to be kings and priests in God's coming kingdom.

If we're going to be kings and priests, then these qualities are the qualities of a king and priest, and important for us all to examine ourselves by and to look at and to understand as far as the life that we live right now. And what better place to begin is for the congregation's training and preparation for that particular role of being prepared as a people for that role God has in His coming kingdom, and to look at these qualities in that way should help us and hopefully be a reminder of the things that we look for in all of us. And would that every minister's dream would be fulfilled that he had a whole congregation of people who were living by the qualifications of a bishop or an overseer of the church. I mean, if you look at that, that would be a perfect congregation. So let's look at becoming a perfect congregation by looking at some of these and understanding them from our perspective. I began last week by spending a lot of time on this word desire in the first verse where it says that if a man desires the position of a bishop, he desires a good work. Twice in that verse, the concept of desire is brought out. And desire is a very, very important thing. It's not wrong to desire to be like this and to be the husband of one wife, to be hospitable, to be not quarrelsome. But desire is something, as I brought out, that is innate within each one of us. When Paul mentions it here, it's not wrong to, for one man, let's say, to desire to be a good work of being an elder. He says he desires a good work. And to want to live like that and to live life at that level is a very important and a very necessary matter for one who is wanting to be a minister, but more importantly for all of us in wanting to be a Christian. And looking at these as the qualities of a Christian then is extremely valuable and important. I got through the concept of being blameless where it says that a bishop must be blameless in verse 2. And I want to go on to the next concept here where it says that he must be the husband of one wife. The husband of one wife. Now some of us might immediately begin to say, as they say in some circles, duh, as if that's self-evident. And it is obviously self-evident, but he has got to be the husband of one wife. Literally, it means a man of one woman is what the literal translation would be, that we should be a man of one woman. Now we can turn that around and it should mean obviously that a wife should want to be the wife of one husband. Now we could say, well, it means one husband at a time, one wife at a time, and that's obviously implied as well when you look at the biblical teaching and understanding of that. But the implication that when you look at the literal translation where it says a man of one woman or a woman of one man gets us closer to what it is that we are talking about. It's obviously having a very high regard for the relationship between the sexes and the distinctions between the sexes. That is a major area that is rapidly being lost and clouded over in our world today where even the blending of genders, the blending of roles, the demystifying of that relationship and marriage is undertaken at a rapid rate from many different angles, whether it's same-sex marriage, whether it's high rates of divorce among all types of people of faith and persuasion and philosophical bent.

The whole institution of marriage and family in the traditional sense that we all, in a sense, grew up with, so many of us, and has been the foundation and the bedrock of our society, has been coming under a great deal of stress and onslaught. And a Christian, a person who is a leader and a solid pillar in the Church of God, is going to have a very high regard for the relationship between the sexes and a high conception of that and a high approach for it, which means that we are going to respect it. We're going to endeavor to live up to our role as a husband, as a wife, as a man, as a woman, as a married couple, and as a single individual in regard to, again, the distinctions of the roles within the sexes and the distinctions that are there between the husband and wife. And we understand the institution of marriage as God ordained it in the Scriptures as being something of God and to be honored, to be revered, to be held in very high regard. That is the underpinning of really the plan of God, but it's so important for the stability of the people of God, which means that all of us have got to be very cautious in our conversations, in our actions, very proactive in terms of our loyalty to our mate, showing honor to one another in those relationships, rather than simply criticizing and picking at or creating difficulties. It means that this person, a Christian, is not going to have a roving eye when it comes to the opposite sex. Not going to have a roving eye. No, over the years, I've relied on my wife for discernment in this area. It seems that women have a more innate discernment in certain areas, and especially when it comes to the marriage relationship and the relationship between husband and wife. But there are certain things you can tell. It's pretty obvious, let's say, if a woman or a man has a roving eye. Certain actions are going to tell you that.

You see certain flirtations go on. You see certain actions take place. And other things are a little bit more subtle. But some people can pick them up better than others. I remember a few years ago, Debbie told me of a situation between a husband and wife. We'd just moved into a church area, and she met this one man and woman. And after being around him for a little bit of time, she came going home that night. She said, she doesn't love him. She doesn't love him. And I said, what do you mean? How do you know? She didn't tell her that. But in talking and in conversation with this woman, in the way she was talking about her husband, Debbie got the clear signal that she didn't love him. And I, being the man, dismissed it. I didn't see it. Well, a few years later, it came out through other circumstances, through separation and ultimately divorce, that indeed she didn't love him. She didn't love him. And she'd seen that. And I bring that story up just to show that there are things that, you know, we can see. And sometimes they're obvious, and sometimes they're not so obvious. But it says here to be the husband of one wife. And it's really talking about respecting that relationship. It's really talking about not having a roving eye, not being critical of the other the other mate, to show respect for the mate, for the marriage relationship in our in our actions, in our words, and in every part of our life. Proper understanding of the male and female roles and family in life is going to go a long way toward developing and helping to develop the congregations and certainly our individual lives. Hold your place here. And back in 1 Corinthians 6, Paul makes a statement that again is familiar to us. 1 Corinthians 6.

And verse 18, in the context of talking about glorifying our bodies physically and keeping a clean living, a clean life. Verse 13, he says, the body is not for sexual immorality, but for the Lord and the Lord for the body. And really through this section, he's just talking about being clean physically when it comes to morality. And in verse 18, it just says, flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body, or we could say her own body. It says, flee it, which means you get as far away from it as you possibly can. You don't even want to go up to the line and look over into the abyss to see what's down there, to see what others are doing. And that is a theme that really comes out in the descriptions here of this section of 1 Timothy 3, that we as Christians cannot even really let ourselves get up close to the sins and even the appearance of evil. He says, flee immorality. Now, brethren, all of us have a lot of areas we can examine. We all have to kind of remember that and seek to flee it. That's more than just finding ourselves in a backseat of a parked car on the dark road some night or in a motel room someplace with a stranger that we may have decided that we're going to follow the words of the song and spend the night together. It also begins in the thoughts of our heart, the thoughts of our mind. It begins in the entertainment we allow ourselves, and that's where every one of us has to make certain decisions.

Will we flee it? Will we flee it at this point by changing the channel or not putting down the money for that particular movie or renting that particular Netflix? Will we flee it at that point, or will we let that get close and think, well, I can handle it there, but I can flee if it really was there in a more direct physical situation, thinking that we're able to do that.

The teaching and the instruction is to hold the relationship between the sexes, and especially in the sanctity of marriage, so high that we don't give any appearance of evil. We don't want to play at all with that. Do you realize that—I don't know if any of you do realize this, but since we're talking about it here in the context of this chapter—I've operated under a principle as a minister ever since I've been in the ministry, one of the first instructions I was told as a minister, you don't visit a woman by yourself.

The minister doesn't visit a woman by himself, and you don't—if somebody comes to my home, my wife is there. Or, you know, it's done in pairs with another minister, another individual, or my wife in many cases. We've, in the ministry, have always operated under that so that we avoid any appearance of impropriety or any accusation that can come because, you know, quite frankly, accusations can be made that are baseless and, you know, it can destroy a person's reputation and destroy a person's ministry in this particular case, in this particular area. We've always had to operate under that. I mention that because, you know, it's a pretty good principle for all of us to operate under and to make sure that we are above reproach and that nothing could be said in terms of our relations, especially for a single person and for our young person, in terms of the way we conduct ourselves with the opposite sex, to avoid the appearance even, and to avoid putting ourselves in a situation where we could be tempted or to bring shame upon ourselves, our family, the church, and God as a Christian.

This is what is behind this injunction here where it says that to be the husband of one wife or to be the wife of one husband. It's to hold it in such high regard. We have, we drink deeply of the spirit of the age and the attitudes that are around us so much that we just think, we take things for granted, we don't think it through. And I know that that's laughed at, would be laughed at by a lot of people, but nonetheless, it's biblical, it's true.

It begins as an example with Joseph back there. He was accused because he found himself even for a brief moment in a room with a loman, Mrs. Potiphar. We all know the story, and she made an accusation, and it cost him years in jail. Well, sometimes the cost can be quite heavy. We don't ever want to allow, have to bear that cost. That's why Paul says we have to hold the matter in high regard. Well, let's go on back in 1 Timothy 3. The next quality that is mentioned is that is temperance. Must be temperate.

Not too hot, not too cold. Just right. Just like the little bear said. Just right. Finding the right balance. Really, it's talking about having wise caution, having wise caution. I can also directly mean being free from the influence of alcohol and intoxicating beverages. Self-control in that sense, and a clarity of mind that comes from it. You know, historically we had the women's Christian Temperance organization that lobbied against the evils of John Barleycorn and Demon Rum and all the various drinks of the past in our history, and helping to bring upon us a period of prohibition in our past.

So temperance in that sense, yes, when it comes to one specific element of alcohol. But it's also talking about just a wise caution, a balance in life. Not excessive, not swinging to extremes. A person who is able to have good judgment and emotional balance is not crying at the drop of a hat, being all emotional over everything. Right time and place for emotion. And then there's a time to, again, keep it in check, rein it in, and maybe express it in a different way at a different time, but an emotional balance.

In other words, being in control of our life. Whether it's alcohol, whether it's emotions, whether it's money, whatever it may be. Our anger, not being overly zealous in that sense. A person that doesn't chase every whim of an idea that might come along, but is able to be temperate. To be sober-minded is the next quality here. To be sober-minded.

Again, it's speaking of having a disciplined attitude of moderation and content.

Sober-minded. You know, I've probably had that accusation labeled on me, or that description put on me. It's not necessarily an accusation of being, probably in the past, overly sober in my demeanor and approach. I guess that's just the way I was raised and the way I am. I've tried to work with on that over the years. But I guess I've leaned more toward a sober-minded approach toward things. But it's a matter of being disciplined. And again, not being swept up with the latest fads, physical, psychological, doctrinal, that come along in our life. Not giving over to excessive impulses on the spur of the moment is what this is really talking about.

A way to do that is, brethren, to be able to seek counsel and to seek understanding and to seek some seek a friend's help, your mate's help, minister's help, someone that you respect, in order to, again, maintain that discipline and maintain that balance. One of the biggest blessings we could have is to have a friend or a person that we could seek counsel of at any time in our life to kind of help balance an idea off of, to check certain attitudes and situations that we might be involved with. Let's go on to the next quality here.

It talks about being of good behavior, that this person and we as a people are going to be of good behavior. Now, again, looking at the word, it means orderly. It means well-arranged, the well-ordering of our life, not just our outer life in terms of dress or a home or the way we keep our car or things of the outward appearance, although that's implied as well. But more importantly, it's talking about good behavior being the inner life, having our inner life settled. And that in itself is going to be expressed in our outward conversation, in our outward conduct, in many outward ways. It really gets, again, to the thought of what is going on inside. I talked a little bit about that last week when I was talking about the concept of desire and being able to have the inside of our life being changed and ordered so that what we say, how we live on the outside, is merely a reflection of the inner person, the inner man. That's really at the heart of God's covenant with us, where He's writing His law upon our heart. What we do as a dutiful person, as a dutiful Christian on the outside, should flow from the heart, should flow from the deepest desires that we have, which is reflected here in this section, where a person desires to be someone, to be a bishop, an elder, desires to be a Christian. We desire to live a godly life, and that starts inside. It doesn't start because our mom and dad tells us. It doesn't start just because it's the church we were raised in.

It starts because of God's Spirit within us creating a changed life, a changed heart and attitude, where there is a desire to worship God and to obey God and to do what He says and to move in that direction.

The greatest lesson that the church of God and the people of God have to learn at any age and at any time of God dealing with His church, whether it's the first century, the twelfth century, the twenty-first century, the greatest lesson is to be changed inside, to have the law of God written on our heart. Not anything against the law, not anti-law, not anything that washes away the law, but the law of God, which is what Hebrews talks about, is what Jeremiah is at the heart of the new covenant. It's the law of God. It starts there and it stays there. The law of God never changes. Christ said, don't think I came to destroy the law. I didn't come to destroy it, but to fulfill it.

If we're going to live like Christ, we're going to desire to fulfill His law in our life.

That's going to be our strongest desire to fulfill that law, as it is written on our heart.

And the good behavior, the sober-mindedness that we exhibit is going to be coming out of an inner attitude that's already been worked with and is changing. And so, if we have a $500 navy blue suit on—and mine didn't cost $500, by the way, but I just throw that out there. The day I do that, lock me up. But we can dress in the finest mink, the finest designer dress, with $500 shoes and drive the nicest car in the parking lot at any given time. All of those are outward, and by themselves, nothing's wrong with those things. But if that's all that it represents, if that's what is, and it's the fancy watch or ring on our hands and wrist, and that's the good behavior, the good appearance that we have, and it begins and ends right there, then we're all a bunch of phonies. We're a bunch of phonies. And even if we have a $30 suit from Value City—do you have Value City up here in Fort Wayne? Good. I'd mention that because I bought suits at Value City, too. All right? So it doesn't matter if it comes from Salvation Army or Goodwill.

Whatever it is on the outside is one thing, but it better reflect what's inside.

And that's what it should reflect. A clean, sober-minded heart of good behavior. Whatever outward decorum we have reflects the inner heart and mind. Let's go on to the next quality that is mentioned here, and that is hospitable. Hospitality. A person who is offering hospitality talks—really, the meaning here is a love of strangers. It's a person who loves and seeks the opportunity to exercise hospitality. And particularly in the Greek, the meaning here is even a love of strangers, not just your best friend. Christ made a comment at one point. He said, when you give a banquet, don't just invite your best friends. Invite the strangers as well.

And so a quality of a Christian is going to be one who is open and friendly and is hospitable toward all in a balanced and appropriate way within one's means. But in other words, it's being proactive and reaching out to others and opening up oneself and sharing your life.

That's really at the heart of hospitality. When you sit down with someone at a meal, whether you meet them at a restaurant or you plan and prepare a meal and you bring them into your home and you serve them what you have, you are offering something of yourself—who you are.

Now, that is a reason some of us are not hospitable, because we are afraid to open ourselves up and to show who we really are to somebody else.

Ask when was the last time you invited someone to your home and prepared a meal and gave of yourself and what you had to someone. Or you sat down with them at a meal outside of what we might even do here at church, which can be a little bit easy and convenient. But you showed hospitality to a stranger. One of our deceased members down in Indianapolis over the years was always known for bringing home somebody from the services to their home. When they left for church, their table was always set and it was set for an extra setting or two.

They may have already planned to have one family or another couple over, but they also planned to have someone that they didn't anticipate. If there was a new person at church that day or someone passing through, this person would invite them. This person was never a deacon, was never an elder in the church, but he was a pillar in the church. But he had that reputation—he and his wife. They brought people into their home, and dozens, if not hundreds, of people over their tenure in the church benefited from that. They were willing to open up their home because they were willing to open up their heart, and they were willing to open up themselves. That's really the heart of this. Open homes lead to open lives and open hearts, and it really is at the heart of what builds a church. When you look at the example in the book of Acts of the church in the New Testament, the early church there, you see quite often a church that is based in the home. It is based in the home. You don't see big buildings, nothing against big buildings. You don't see—you don't even get the sense of large congregations, but you always see people in their home. In Thessalonica, Paul was in somebody's home. Let's just turn to one example here in Acts 2, just to give you a representative example in the second chapter of Acts. Acts 2 and verse 46, in the early days of the picture of the church here, Acts 2.46, just describes that they were continuing daily with one accord in the temple and breaking bread from house to house. The temple was not the church of the Jerusalem of this period. That was a huge national institution. They had certain meetings there, and then they were there a lot, but what we read here in another verse is, it says, they were breaking bread from house to house. They ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved. Here is a description, again, that fits so many other scenes in the book of Acts, and it really is describing the key to the success of the early church, because their homes were open. And as I say, you go through the book and you will find many occasions where the church was meeting in so and so's home. I realize that that's not always practical, and we've always, you know, as a church grows larger, you have to make other plans and accommodations for larger groups of people. But even to this day, some of our United Congregations that are very small in some areas do meet people's homes. And that's because of the smaller nature of things. But it is here in Acts that we see it's the key to the success of the early church. Our private home life is an extension of the church, the family, and the community. It helps to either reveal strong families, build strong families, and hopefully a strong church within our whole relationship. So I ask again, when was the last time your home was open? When was the last time your life was open?

When was the last time your heart was open to someone else?

In this way, around the concept of hospitality. And if not, why? The only reason the church that we read about here in the New Testament wove together such people from different backgrounds.

They were Jew and Gentile. They were men and women. And that was a distinction that was a problem in that century, in that culture that was a division. And there were even people who were slave and free within the same church. Slavery was an institution in the Roman world. So you had Jew and Gentile men and women and slaves and free people in the same church. Now you talk about a recipe for division and people tearing at each other's throats. And yet we read about a church that was in one accord. How did they achieve that? Relative stability? One of the reasons was because of their hospitality and they were sharing their bread from house to house. It worked then, it will work now. And it's an important element of hospitality and the feeling among people.

We have to get away from the poor as me and pride and even the proud as me pride for what I have, attitudes that we have, and open ourselves up to one another. That's really what it comes down to. If we're afraid to have someone in our homes, it may be because we're just afraid for people to see who we really are and how we live, where we live, and the conditions that we have there.

Over my years in the ministry, I've been in really fine homes and I've been in really poor homes for meals. And I've had a variety of experiences.

The very first meal I was ever invited to, I wasn't even ordained, I wasn't even married, I'd been in the field working as an assistant for just a few weeks. I was in South Carolina, and a couple invited me to come to their farmhouse for dinner. And I remember getting that invitation and thinking, are you sure you don't want the pastor to come? Why are you inviting me? I'm just the wet behind-the-ear trainee here. Now, I know we'd like to have you. They took pity on me, and they didn't need to take pity because I was staying with a deacon and deaconess, and she was a fabulous cook. And so they were taken care of during those weeks of transition. But they invited me out, and so I drove out in the country one night, across the railroad tracks, out through the farm fields, and to their big farmhouse. And I don't remember the entire meal. It was probably roast beef or fried chicken. You always serve minister fried chicken. But I do remember we had fried okra and fresh tomatoes from their garden. And whatever else we had, you know, took second fiddle to the fried okra and fresh tomatoes.

But it was a good meal, and they were good people. We had good conversation. They didn't have a lot. They didn't need a lot. They had a lot of hospitality, though.

And they opened their heart and their home and their life to somebody that they didn't know, a stranger to them. They didn't have to. They wanted to make points. They would have invited the minister out, thinking they were making points. But they invited me, and I'm sure others, too, over the years. Hospitality builds a church that if we're willing to open our home, then maybe we're willing to open our life. And if we open our life to one another, there's a chance we can open our heart as well and reach and achieve a level of growth and fellowship that we just haven't had in our own personal life.

Well, let's go back. It also says that people need to be able to teach. Back here in 1 Timothy, chapter 3, and the end of verse 2, apt to teach. In other words, an understanding of the Bible, the Word of God, and a certain skill in imparting that knowledge, either by word, through explanation, by example in one's lifestyle. And it goes beyond the ability, even to a willingness to teach. And I would say in the willingness to teach, it's not so much the desire to preach to somebody and get them off in a corner and talk with them about, you know, preach to them with a finger going on or whatever, but a willingness in a sense that you're willing to show by your life what you believe. And secondly, that you are willing to explain by looking somebody in the eye what it is you believe and why you do it.

First Peter, chapter 3, and verse 15, we know the Scripture. It says, be able and ready to give an answer for the hope that lies within you. That's kind of a marching order for every Christian, to be able to give an answer for the hope that lies within us, and to be able to explain our teaching. One of the biggest things I've always tried to still in people over the years as we talk about various things, the challenges they encounter at work or at school with getting off for the Sabbath or the Holy Days, is, look, don't say, it's my church that tells me this, or my church won't let me do this. Never ever say that.

You better be able to say to your employer, to your teacher, to another person that's kind of holding something over you, whatever, because of your belief that you do it because this is who I am. This is what I see from the Bible, and this is what God tells me to do. Don't say, well, my church won't let me do this, or my church teaches me this. That's a sign of a weak mind, and that's a cop-out. And don't say, don't put it off on me either. I can certainly provide verification of membership and to certain levels even give recommendations. I have various levels of recommendations depending upon the amount of money you're willing to pay. But, I'll strike that from the MP3 file. Just kidding on that one. I get called upon a lot of times to give job recommendations for people, and I always tell them, I get 10% of your first paycheck if you get the job. So I think everybody knows what that means. Anyway, but we have to give an answer for the hope that lies within us. And because it is our hope, and we can explain it, we should be able to have a practical application of the truth to oneself. Be able to teach. That's mean that doesn't give us license to go around trying to teach everybody and make a nuisance of ourselves. There are a lot of people that just don't want to hear about religion. They don't want to hear about the Sabbath. And even if they ask certain questions or whatever, it doesn't mean that they want you to give them a 15-minute dissertation on the Holy Days or the whole plan of salvation or the tribulation or something about revelation or whatever. You have to be wise and discerning when it comes to what people are really asking and know when to say what and how much to say. And most of all, be able to live it and to let your example be the first point of contact. And if it goes beyond that, then be able to say something in terms of explanation. And then needs more, then we have a whole body of literature that can help a person walk through every bit of our teaching. And if that's really where they want to go and go to that level.

But the best plan is to be able to live it. And by that, people have a really good indication that this is a person with high morals, high values, high ideals. And this is a person that's not running around just like everyone else in the group and who stand out.

The next quality that's mentioned here is not given to wine. Now, that's pretty specific.

Temperate was earlier. We were talking about temperance. But, you know, alcohol was a problem in Paul's day. And it says if a man is going to be a leader, and certainly if a person is going to be a Christian, he can't be given to alcohol of any form. And it's really talking about a person that lingers over wine or alcohol to the point where their behavior is impacted to either quarrelsomeness or drunken violence and addiction. You know, alcohol has an effect in different ways upon people. Some become violent alcoholics, violent drugs. Some get and become quiet, pensive, reflective drugs. Others just become falling over dead type drugs. I've seen all kinds in the way that it impacts. But the point is it is talking about not being given to it. You have to be in control, having a proper perspective of alcohol and its use by a person to respect it as a power. You know, we have our president, Bush, has gone on record. He's been open with his past problems with alcoholism and is a recovering alcoholic by his own admission. And to that degree, he's certainly benefited from that, and anyone in that situation is going to be.

But we as Christians have got to understand the liberty that God gives us with alcohol and to not let it control us and to be able to use it in a proper way. I think I've mentioned this before, but this might be the time to mention it again, because even though the feast has passed, when it comes to the Feast of Tabernacles, at times we have seen situations where people, because of certain scriptural teaching and a misapplication of it and excessive money, feel that they have to drink at the feast. And you don't have to drink at the feast. You don't have to drink at all. If it's something you can't control or if it's going to create a problem for you or someone else or even to the point of offense for someone, you don't have to drink at any time.

Alcohol is not a requirement to obey God in any form or fashion at any time.

But if it is a liberty and if it is a liberty that we can properly use and enjoy in all of its various forms, then it's a freedom that God gives us. And it's certainly not, you know, it's sad when a person's life gets to the point where they can't, but it is a freedom that God gives us and we have to make our decisions accordingly. And that's why it's saying, it says here, that the person is not to be given to or given over to the influence of alcohol in that sense. Now, the next quality that it mentions here is not being violent, not violent. Well, again, that's pretty basic, but it speaks to, again, being, in a sense, mild-mannered, meekness, not being contentious, quarrelsome, not being a contentious person, a combative person, not being a brawler, not being a bully in any way, shape, or form. You know, violence takes many different forms when it comes to behavior from an individual, and as is expressed in group relationships, particularly the family at times. Violence comes out, as we know, in terms of abuse in family situations today, and we read a sad story of child abuse. We'll read a sad story of wife abuse, or should I say spousal abuse, because it does work both ways, doesn't it? It goes both ways, and so much is done within the four walls of a family in terms of actual physical violence, verbal violence, verbal abuse. You know, abuse takes different forms. You can strike someone, knock them to the ground, and that's abuse.

You can lock them in a room and deny them something for hours or even days. That's abuse, too.

You can ignore a person and not speak to them, and that's abuse, too. You can call them every vile word, you can conjure up every name, put down, and that's abuse, too. You can intimidate someone.

You can try to control somebody. That's abuse, as well. You can try to bully somebody, and that's abuse. That's being violent. That's suffering violence on someone. We all need to ask ourselves where and how that may fit in our life and make sure that it doesn't come out, because it's not proper behavior for a Christian to be violent in any form or shape by the words and actions and emotions that generate out of our life. But that so often happens, doesn't it?

Sometimes abuse is rather silent. I was looking at a number of years ago, I worked up a sermon on the subject of abuse. I was looking at it the other day when I was going through my sermon files and saw some of the points that were bringing out there, because abuse comes out in a lot of ways.

And I think all of us need to stop and perhaps think about that. I thought about just going on to the next point here and trying to rush through some more, but you know what? I don't think I will.

I think we'll just settle on that last this one here and we'll pick up the others later.

But let's think before I leave this.

You know, as a camp director for nine years, we were schooled quite heavily in looking for the signs of abuse. We had kids coming to camp from all kinds of homes. Yes, church homes. And some non-church homes, too. We had a lot of kids at our camp that do have who are not part of the church. But anytime you start working with youth, you have to understand this vile problem in our society. And we always were schooled on it, part of our staff training, to look for certain signs and to be noticing certain things and behavior that comes out in kids. And we've learned how to deal with that. You know, we have certain situations where, I mean, and the abuse is not just looking for a bruise. The abuse takes many different forms, as I said, and it comes out in many different ways. I mean, you can have a child that is wanting, that is hungry for it, started for attention of a counselor or a teacher, whatever. And, you know, that by itself isn't always a sign, but in some cases it can be a sign of a child that's wanting to talk to somebody. Or there's a problem back home and they're wanting to get it out. Other types of behavior can be certain signs, as well. And again, interpreting it is a point of wisdom you've got to be careful with, as well.

Because you can make a mistake as a counselor or minister, teacher, you know, authority figure to make a mistake. But once you find out about it, there are certain laws that kick in.

And as a minister, I have to make a report to the authorities if I have brought evidence of it.

If and when we ever found anything in the camp situation, we had to remove the offender immediately so that the camp was safe. And then you deal with what you have to deal with.

Make certain reportings, as well. Those are facts of life of our time in our society.

But one of the things that I've noticed is violence, abuse, has many, many subtle forms.

A man can be a controlling bully, and that's abuse, too. And where that happens, everyone needs to be aware and take whatever steps to deal with it.

It's a sign of a small mind, a sign of an insecure person. But Paul here in this section gets into some really interesting qualities that reflect a lot of our life. The point is, as a Christian, we have to rise above all of these and not let them be named once among us.

Because that's not the proper desire toward God, toward Christ in our life.

We've got to want to flee any of this and make sure that our lives are above reproach in every way.

So looking at all of these qualities gives us a very good picture of how we should be.

Let's think about that. Let's be thankful for what we have. I'll pick this subject up and finish it in another sermon. But let's keep in mind the desire toward God to be a Christian, to be a Christian above reproach in every way in our life.