Setting A Good Example

How important is your example? It is very important. As a member of God's Church, as a man, as a woman, as a family. Let's begin by turning over to Matthew 5.

Jesus talked about the importance of our example, and I'd like to enlarge upon this today. Matthew 5, verse 13. In the Sermon on the Mount, he said, Jesus said here, the Sermon on the Mount, you are the salt of the earth. And he's talking about Christians, those who are believers during this time. You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men.

Verse 14. You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden, nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand and it gives light to all that are in the house.

And verse 16 says to let your light, and that's our example, the way of life that we live, let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. You know, brethren, our example then, the light that we shine forth is very important. What kind of light do you shine forth? When people think about you at church, at work, what about in your home as a husband, as a wife? What about a young person in college? We have quite a number in college. A lot of young people in high school. What kind of example are you setting? It's very important that you set a good example as well. Jesus said, let your light shine. The Expositor's Bible commentary says about these verses, what his disciples must show is their good works. That is righteousness. Everything they are and do that reflects the mind and will of God. Brethren, everything that we do and that we are is to be reflected, showing the mind and the will of God. So our example is very important. We're the light, we're to be the light of the world. When the world looks at us, they're supposed to say, well, here is the way it's supposed to be done. This is the way it ought to be. Whether it's in our family, our husband-wife relationships, our parent-child relationships, as an employee on a job, or if we are an employer, a boss, and we have people working for us. Everything that we do. A young person going to junior or senior high or in college. Everything that we do is to be a light, an example to the world. Our lives, simply put, are to witness the standards and values of the kingdom of God. We are representatives of the kingdom of God on this earth today.

So let's ask ourselves some questions. How well do we witness for the kingdom of God? How well do you personally, I want you and me to apply this personally to ourselves today, how well do we witness for the kingdom of God, the standards and the values of God's kingdom?

If people were to walk beside you every moment of every day, for let's say a week or two, what kind of example would they observe? What kind of language? What kind of attitudes?

What kind of driver on the highway? Boy, I gave the sermon last week in Charlotte and Ashboro, and I found myself in a hurry and kind of rushing into traffic myself instead of being more patient. I thought, well, you know, it's not a very good example. Then live up to the, I preached the message, I talked the talk last week, but I'm not walking the walk on this one. You know, I just have an idea that if we look at ourselves closely, that we're going to find that we're not walking the walk as far as example in every way that we maybe should.

And I want us to think about that. It's very important. If people were to walk beside you and sit in the front seat and observe your driving and how you work on the job, what about the husband-wife relationships? What would they observe in that relationship? Would they observe the way it should be? The kind of husband, the kind of man that should be, you know, that represents the way God says it should be. Or the kind of wife. What about, you know, the church member? Just every aspect of our lives, the attitude, the speech, and the deeds would be shining forth a good representation. I would like to believe, and I do believe, that many of us set a very good example. But I'm not going to say that there's one of us who cannot project a better example that cannot shine our light. It's just like going, if you've got one of these, you know, you can dim or on these light dimmers, you can turn up the light bright or you can turn it down dim. You get atmosphere, you know, when you have that in your dining room and you want it to be subdued lighting. Or you can turn it up bright. But there's not one of us that can't turn our lights up brighter. We can do that with God's Spirit guiding us. And I think we, I think God certainly wants us to turn up the light that we're shining brighter.

Where do we go for the perfect example? Well, the perfect example is our Father Himself and Jesus Christ. God the Father is a perfect example. Jesus Christ, His Son, on this earth and at the right hand of God also is the perfect example. Never a mistake. God is the perfect example. I was talking about our song leader today that we'd like to start the service on time. We encourage our song leaders to do that. And he said a good example today. He started it on time.

And I said, you know, God has set us an example. His sunrise is predictable. It's always on time, isn't it? And His sunset is always on time. God is scheduled. He set us an example then to, you know, be able to be on time. So God and Jesus Christ set the perfect example that we are to follow. Jesus Himself taught the message when He was here and He lived it. The Gospels describe His example. The Gospels describe the light that Jesus shined out. I mean, people just looked at Him. They were impressed just the way He carried Himself, His demeanor, His comments, everything about Jesus, His message, everything was perfect. And He talked the talk and He walked the walk and always did good and right. And we are to follow His good example in Acts chapter 10. Let's read that Jesus went about doing good. And that's what we ought to be going about doing. We ought to be going about doing good. Everything that we do should be within the framework of doing good. That's what it says Jesus did in Acts chapter 10 and verse 36.

Acts chapter 10 and verse 36, In every nation whoever fears Him and works righteousness is accepted by Him.

It doesn't matter what race or nation. The word which God sent to the children of Israel preaching peace through Jesus Christ, He is Lord of all. The word you know which was proclaimed throughout all Judea and began in Galilee after the baptism which John preached how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power who went about doing good. Here was the example that Christ said. Here's the light he shined into the world who went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil for God was with Him. So Jesus went about always doing good. How about us, brethren? Do we always strive to do good? What about husbands toward your wives? What about wives toward your husbands? What about parents to children, children to parents? What about the members of God's church right here? Do we always strive to find ways to do good?

If Jesus were here, He would be looking for ways to do good right here in the church in Raleigh. He would look around and He would find ways to serve and to do good. Be sure He would be out meeting people. You think Jesus would be greeting new people? Yes. You think He'd make them welcome? Would you go back and meet them the second week they were here? Yes. Jesus would set the perfect example here at church because He always went about rubbing shoulders with people. A lot of people were sinners. In fact, who isn't a sinner when you get right down to it?

They were looked upon as people that were in that category, looked down by the Pharisees.

Jesus didn't worry. He was here to serve all of mankind. We should follow His example.

We won't turn to this, but at the Passover time of the year, we always read about the foot washing. And Jesus said, you know, you call me Lord and Master, and so I am. I, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet. And He says, you ought to wash one another's feet, for I have set you an example. He uses that word example. You ought to wash one another's feet, for I have set you an example that you should follow in my steps. And so once every year on the Passover night, we wash feet. So we follow that example of Jesus Christ. Let's go to 1 Peter chapter 2.

Even in suffering, and suffering wrongfully, we are to follow that good example that Jesus Christ said. People were always persecuting Him, trying to rib Him, trying to defame Him, accusing Him of being born of fornication, all kinds of low blows. But Jesus never struck back to get revenge. Sometimes He did stand up and answer them so they could not ask any more questions, but even that was always done without sin. There was a time to stand up. There's a time not to stand up. It takes wisdom to know when. Many times it's just better to be quiet and not stand up. But there are times, there are times, in 1 Peter chapter 2 and verse 20, what credit is it if when you were beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? Because then you have it coming. You have your faults and you've asked for it. But when you do good and suffer for it, if you take it patiently, this is commendable with God. For to this you were called because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example that we should follow His steps. Who committed no sin, nor was guile found in His mouth. When He was reviled, He did not revile in return. When He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him that judges righteously. And by doing this, Jesus set us an example. We're not supposed to strike back. We're not supposed to try to get even. The old saying, you know, don't get mad, get even. It's not right. It's not scriptural. Don't get mad and don't try to seek revenge. Don't try to strike back. Jesus did not, He set us that example. Now, not only did Jesus set, He set the perfect example, but you know, God's ministry in His church are commissioned to set a good example. The elders, we have a couple of elders right here, and the deacons are exhorted to set a good example. We all are those who serve in the ministry of the ordained ministry of the church. Let's go to 1 Timothy chapter 3.

Some of the very qualifications, you might say, are job descriptions of an elder is that a very high example, a very bright light, and it doesn't do the church any good if a minister sets a bad example. It hurts the church tremendously. But, you know, it hurts the church when a member sets a bad example, too. None of us is supposed to set a bad example. We are not representing God's kingdom very well when we do. 1 Timothy chapter 3 and verse 1 is a faithful saying, if a man desires the position of a bishop, he desires a good work. Emphasis on the word work.

A bishop, then, here are some of the job descriptions or, let's say, character qualities of a bishop. A bishop, then, an overseer, must be blameless. Look at that very first word, blameless. The husband of one wife, temperate, sub-reminded, good behavior, hospitable, able to teach, not given the wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous, one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence. If a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God? Not a novice newcomer, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil. He must have a good testimony. Even people outside the church have to think well of him as a person because of his example. He must have a good testimony among those who are outside, lest he fall into the reproach and snare of the devil. Wouldn't it be kind of a shame to have an elder that has a real bad reputation on his job, and then somebody on the job, a fellow worker, becomes a member of the church and finds out the way a person is supposed to live.

Boy, this person here used all kinds of foul language, had a real raunchy attitude, hard to get along with. It wouldn't be a very good example for a new person, would it? At all. We're going to have a good testimony of those who are outside the church. Likewise, verse 8 says, Likewise, the deacons must be reverent, not double-tongued, not given to much wine, not greedy for money, holding the mystery of the faith with a pure conscience. But let these be first proved and then serve as a deacon, being found blameless. Even the deacons, then, are to be found blameless. Let their wives be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things. Husbands of one wife, their children, ruling their children in houses, well. The husband is the head of the family. And sometimes, you know, people don't, some ladies don't like that, but the Bible does say the husband is to rule his house. Oh, he's to guide it. He's to be the overseer, but he's to do it in love. More about that in just a few minutes. The example of husbands should be setting. But to notice here that the very first one of these listed is for the bishops in verse 2 would be is blameless. The New International version has above reproach. Above reproach. A good reputation outside the church also is mentioned. The Expositor's Bible commentary says about blameless, one against whom it is impossible to bring any charge of wrongdoing such as would stand impartial examination. Nothing that could stand up in court.

An elder is not to have something, a charge that could be brought to him that would stand up in court to a fair and impartial examination. Let's go to Titus chapter 1 and we find some of these same character qualities that an elder is to have as far as his example. Titus chapter 1 and verse 5. For this reason I left you in Crete that you should set in order the things that are lacking. Sometimes there are things lacking. Paul knew there were things lacking in Crete. So he left Titus there to work on those things, to set them in order and to point elders in every city as I commanded you. If a man is, and what's the first one here? Blameless. Same one as 1 Timothy 3. If a man is blameless, husband of one wife, having faithful children, not accused of dissipation or insubordination, a bishop must be blameless. There's the word a second time. Here, as a steward of God, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not given the wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but hospitable, a lover of what is good, sub-reminded, just, holy, self-controlled, having holding fast the faithful word as he's been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine to exhort and convict those who contradict. Again, the very first one is blameless. You know, I didn't write down the great word for it and probably wouldn't be able to pronounce it without a lot of practice anyway. It's about that long. But it means the Greek for the word blameless means not to be laid hold of. An elder then is one that is not to be laid hold of.

That means he doesn't have something that you can lay on him, that he has done that's wrong. He is to be blameless above reproach. I do believe that and I really appreciate the five elders that I have working with me. I appreciate their faithfulness and loyalty, their service. I hope that all of you appreciate too. That way we're able to handle four churches and also a monthly Bible study in Fayetteville.

Our elders do a very good job. That is not to say that they can't improve and that the pastor can not improve. We all can and should. But I believe we are striving to conduct ourselves, blameless, not to be laid hold of. You just can't come and say, well, you're using foul-rotten language. You're attitude is hostile. And you know, maybe, you know, what if even there's a line, your word is not dependable. You know, we just can't have that sort of character in the ministry of God's church. That's just not the example that is to be said.

The apostle Paul several times said to follow me as I follow Christ. You can read that in 1 Corinthians chapter 11 and verse 1. Follow me, the King James says. The new King James says, imitate me as I imitate Christ. So the apostle Paul was said in that example, and he encouraged others to follow him. So, brethren, I think today we can say, the ministry can say, follow us as we follow Christ. Imitate us as we imitate Christ. And the apostle Paul did. He encouraged Timothy to be an example that others could follow. Let's read about that in 1 Timothy chapter 4. So Paul told Timothy, you know, I've set you an example for you to follow, and you are to set an example for others. You're a young man, but even so, you're to set an example for others. 1 Timothy 4 and verse 11.

These things command and teach. Let no one despise your youth. Imagine that Timothy may very likely have been in his twenties. Let no one despise your youth, but what? Let your light shine. Be an example to the believers in word. Notice these things in word. What comes out of your mouth? In conduct, in love, just that friendliness and that love and concern for the brethren, in spirit, in faith, in purity. So Timothy, Paul exhorted him to set that example for others. And Timothy already had followed Paul's example, as I mentioned.

A brethren is not just the ministry of the church that is commissioned to let its light shine, but the membership of the church is to let its light shine. All of us are to go out into this world. We scatter after this service today. We go back to our home areas. You're the light in your area. You're the salt of the earth where you live. You live in the... Well, Mr. Boykin lives over near the Wilson area. Some live down at Garner and some out in Durham and Chapel Hill, wherever you are.

You are the light. You're the salt in that area. Remember that. Every moment, every day. We should be setting that kind of example. One that cannot be laid hold of. It's not just the ministry of the church that should be blameless, not to be laid hold of, but you as a member of the church should be living a life where you cannot be laid hold of. Nobody can come to you and say, well, you know, you're guilty and have it stand up in court.

That's the kind of life we all should be striving to live. Let's go to 1 Thessalonians 1. We see that the members of the church of God are to be setting an example for the world. The ministry, this example, is certainly at the prime importance in the church, but the members of the church also. And here we have a very good example by the Thessalonians up in Macedonia in Greece. 1 Thessalonians 1 and verse 2. We give thanks to God always for you all, making mention of you in our prayers, remembering without ceasing your work of faith, labor of love, and patience of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ in the sight of our God and Father.

Knowing, beloved brethren, your election by God, for our gospel did not come to you in word only, but also in power and in the Holy Spirit and in much assurance, as you know, and notice Paul refers to his example, as you know what kind of men we were among you for your sake. You know what kind of men we were. You saw our example, our light. And verse 6. You became followers of us and of the Lord, having received the word in much affliction with joy of the Holy Spirit, so that you became examples to all in Macedonia and Achaia who believe they became examples of all those in their area.

But it wasn't just Macedonia and Achaia, their immediate areas. But verse 8, 4, from you the word of the Lord has sounded forth not only in Macedonia and Achaia, but also in every place. In every place, the people heard about the Thessalonians, what kind of people they were, how they had believed their zeal and how fervent they were to obey God and do what was right.

The example went apparently all, you know, far beyond just they're in Greece. Your faith toward God has gone out so that we do not need to say anything, for we ourselves declare, themselves declare concerning us what manner of entry we had to you and how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God and to wait for His Son from heaven, whom He raised from the dead, even Jesus, who delivers us from the wrath to come.

So, you know, Paul refers back to their calling of a pagan idolatry. You know, they weren't, they weren't, they were very much involved in the paganism and the idolatry of the world, and God called them into the church. And Paul goes on down to refer to his example that he had said. I'd like to read that because it shows the tremendous example that Paul strived to set. And you know that thing of becoming all things to all people? Paul was a master at it. He was able to relate to all people, and he tried to anyway, in a positive way, maybe so that he could save a few.

He said that in 1st Corinthians 9. But we see that example that he tried to set in motion right here in chapter 2, verse 1 and on down. Verse 1, For you yourselves know, brethren, that our coming to you was not in vain, but even after we had suffered before and were spitefully treated at Philippi, as you know, we were bold in our God to speak to you the gospel of God in much conflict.

For our exhortation did not come from deceit or uncleanness, nor was it in guile. God's ministry doesn't come in through the back door. God's ministry does not mishandle or mistreat the Word of God. It doesn't use deceit or uncleanness or guile. But as we have been appointed by God to be entrusted with the gospel, even so we speak, not as pleasing men. Our first desire is not pleasing men, not the members of the church even, but pleasing God.

Not as pleasing men, but God who tests our hearts. For neither at any time did we use flattering words as you know. Paul was not there flattering them, trying to deceive them or woo them in through deceit or something, nor a cloak of covetousness.

God is witness, he says, nor did we seek glory from men, either from you or from others. We weren't seeking the approval or glory of men when we might have made demands as apostles of Christ. But, verse 7, we were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children. And the nourishing mother is so gentle with her baby as she nourishes that baby.

Holds up the baby's head because neck muscles are too weak to hold up the head. And a nursing mother, that's how gentle Paul was there in Thessalonica. So affectionately, longing for you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives, because you have become dear to us. For you remember, brethren, our labor and toil, for laboring night and day that we might not be a burden to any of you, we preach to you the gospel of God. You are witnesses of the example Paul set. And God also held devoutly and justly and blamelessly we behaved ourselves among you who believe. And you know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you as a father does his own children, that you would have a walk worthy of God who calls you into his own kingdom and glory. You know, what a tremendous passage here, these first 12 verses on the example of the apostle Paul. There's a lot of...that's in the Bible. You know, Paul's example is in the Bible. It's inspired Scripture for us to learn from.

And we should. But the Thessalonians had picked up on that example. God had opened their minds, called them out of idolatry, and they went out and they set the example. And they went all over Macedonia, Achaia, down to the south, and beyond. Over in, no doubt, Asia Minor, maybe even to Jerusalem and other areas. The example of the Thessalonians went out to their faith and their zeal. You know, why must we, the Church of God, be very concerned about our example? Why do we take a sermon an hour to discuss the importance of our example?

Because people are watching you and me. More than we know. They know, fellow workers learn eventually, that you don't work on Saturday. You keep the Sabbath. They learn that you don't keep Christmas and Easter. You keep God's Holy Days. You're away at times from, even on work days, keeping one of God's Holy Days. They know many things. They may believe that you don't eat pork.

They may believe you tithe. They certainly will observe that you don't have the hot temper and maybe that you once had that they did observe, even. They may have seen a change there. Hopefully, if you had it at one time, they've seen a big change. They just notice a difference. You know, they notice that you are different. Everything that we do. We do not live in a vacuum, none of us. We'd have to go and be a hermit somewhere. And, you know, if we were not to be observed by anybody, every people see us wherever we are. And we have a chance then to let the light shine. Jesus said, we won't turn back to that. We read it already in Matthew 5, 16. Let your light so shine, let your example be so good that men may see your good works and glorify your Father, which is in heaven. So, the purpose is that they may see our good works and glorify God in heaven.

But the question becomes, then, will they see your good works at this time and perceive them as good works and glorify God now? Or did Jesus understand that it would be in a larger context that they would glorify God? Well, Peter explains, and Jesus had a larger context in mind. How many people have seen your good works today, your obedience to the Sabbath and Holy Days, and they glorify God? And I've got brothers and sisters and many members of my family, they're not glorifying God. They think I'm kind of an eyeball, I guess. Keep Saturday. Don't keep Christmas. They get all involved in it. Just talked to a sister yesterday. She's getting all plans all made for Christmas.

She knows we don't keep it. They don't send any cards to us. But, you know, by them knowing that, by my example, I'm letting my light shine to them. And one day they will glorify God, but it's not yet. Let's go to 1 Peter 2 and verse 9. That day will come that they will then glorify God and say, well, now I see why. And whether it's your family members or your fellow workers or young people, people sitting in the classroom with you, one day they will understand why we do the things that we do and they will glorify God.

Brings out in 1 Peter 2 that we, in verse 9, are a chosen generation, a royal priest, a special people, that you may proclaim the praises of him who calls you out of darkness into his marvelous light. You know, we are proclaiming a message.

Many times we talk about the good news. We talk about booklets and articles. We talk about the internet, how powerful those are. The most powerful message being preached in the world is the example that we set. You are reaching in your lifetime hundreds and maybe thousands of people that know you and you're preaching to them a message. You are proclaiming the praises of God, though they don't recognize it yet, but they will. Verse 11 goes on to say, Beloved, I beg you, as sojourners and pilgrims abstain from fleshly lust which wore against the soul, having your conduct honorable among the Gentiles, that when they speak against you as evildoers. Many times that's the reception we get today. When they see our good works, they don't glorify God at all now, but they think of us as evildoers.

And maybe you don't even believe in one neighborhood we lived in. People found out through our children we didn't keep Christmas. And so they say, you don't believe in Christ. Well, we very much believe in Christ and we believe it was born. Just wasn't born on December and we're not supposed to keep that pagan festival, which ancient pagan nations observed and kept.

So many times they will think we are evildoers. Eyeballs today. When they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good works, which they observe. Glorify God in the day of visitation.

Glorify God in a day of visitation. That will be when their minds are open to understand the truth. For most everyone, with very few exceptions, that will be either the millennium, if people live ever to that time, or it will be the second resurrection.

Only those that God calls today will be able to see our good works and glorify God today. And no one can come to Jesus, who is the door to God's kingdom, through whom we must go, unless there's a calling from God that draws him.

So most people will have their day of visitation in the second resurrection.

And a few will live on over into the millennium and have their day of visitation then. Their minds will be open. But the thing is, they will recall. That's the point we want to really think about. They are going to say, well, I knew you when you were back in human form. You worked on the same job with me, or you were in the same family I was in. They'll remember you and me. They'll remember our relationship. Those hundreds or thousands that you touch in your lifetime that you came to, we'll remember. That's why we want them to remember the right thing.

Not one that is not loving, kind, friendly, warm. Not one that is selfish and looking out for number one. Not one that uses foul language, maybe running around on his wife, lying and cheating.

No, we don't want any of that. We don't have that in the Church of God, but I'm using extreme examples, I guess, to just... We don't want them to be able to look back at anything and lay hold of it. We want them to look at an example that is blameless. They will recall us. They will remember.

We want them to be able to look back and say, well, that person really was a good example. Now that I understand why he lived that way, he said a good example. The Scriptures say in the book of Isaiah chapter 55 that God's Word will not return void. You know, the message we are proclaiming is going to bear fruit one day, but it's going to be in the day of visitation when it bears fruit. Our example, our light, will yet produce fruit.

People will remember. Unconverted relatives, our neighbors, that shows what kind of neighbor you should be. Our fellow employees, they all will recall our example. Will it be a good example? Warm and kind and giving and serving? Will it be faithful in church and holy day attendance? Will it be honest, dependable, fair and just? Or could it be a bad example?

Not friendly, self-centered, dishonest, foul language?

And our example, then, should be totally different from this darkened world.

The title of the sermon today is, Are You Setting a Good Example? Are you setting a good example?

Not only for the world and for your family, right here at church, are you setting a good example. Let's take the men. What kind of example should we men be setting? Let's pick on us, first of all.

Well, you know, if you're a husband, let's take that. We don't, I guess, need to turn back to Ephesians 5, but it does say there that the husband is to so love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. Are you as a husband setting… are you following that instruction? A good example of that instruction? And serving and giving to your wife, sacrificing for her best interest and needs as Christ did the church. It went on down to say that he might present it to himself spotless and without blemish, and also to say that no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but cherishes it and nourishes it, and that that's all a husband should love, should treat his wife. Do you nourish your wife? Do you look for ways to give her latitude to operate and to grow? Do you pray for her? Do you nurture her and nourish her? You should. Jesus Christ does the church. So how are you doing as far as the example of a husband following the instructions that you are given? And then we need to ask ourselves, what kind of example then are we setting as a husband?

Peter says that a husband is to give honor to his wife. Give honor to his wife.

You know, I've been in marriage counseling where it was far from honor, just shouting, we go back and forth. It's not the way it should be. One husband and wife told me, I think they later broke up. They were members, supposedly members of the church. I think they left the church. Their marriage broke up. But they said, now this was a different state than here, a different area, so you will never know who it was. But they said that when they went to church, they got in their vehicle. And that's when, of course, the fussing had been going on all week. But they would shout and fuss and argue all the way to church. Church just happened to be an hour or an hour and a half away. Then they would get out of their car, go inside, and smile and greet the brethren, hear the sermon, smile and be friendly to everybody after services, then get back in their car and fight and fuss and argue all every mile, every minute of the way back home. You know, is that the way, is that the example of a biblical Christian family? It is not. Not at all. But what about your marriage? Husbands, are you trying to direct your marriage in that way that is close and reflects that of Jesus Christ and the church? And that, as far as you're concerned, do you esteem your wife? Do you cherish her? Do you praise her? And thank her for what she does for you. I'll have to say I don't think mine nearly enough. I'm improving, but there's room for more. So I'm going to do better. But you know, it's important that we do that. Do you ever verbally abuse your wife? Men? Do you ever literally hit her? You know, a woman is not a punching bag.

She is the waker vessel. When we get to the women, we'll see how they get to men. Men, many times, will be... Paul said, in Colossians 3, men, husbands, don't be bitter. Don't be bitter towards your wife. So if you hit your wife or you verbally abuse her, you are being bitter.

That's not the example that you want to set. So are you leading in the direction of a loving relationship between you and your wife that really is just like Jesus and the church? Jesus doesn't abuse the church. He doesn't verbally abuse it or physically abuse us. But he is nourishing and patient. It just amazes me how patient God and our Father is in Jesus Christ. And forbearing, God puts up with a lot of things for a long time. I think He hopes we'll eventually come around and see it for ourselves. That's always better. He's always able to correct it in due time as He needs to, but He always does it in the right way at the right time.

Patience and forbearance. Men, that would be a good thing to keep in mind in the way you are the head of the family. A lot of patience and a lot of forbearance.

Following the example of Jesus Christ, the head of the church, husband to the church, husband to be.

So men, what about how are you doing? Now, what if you have an unbelieving wife?

Same things apply. Loving, kind, so that she sees a good example. Paul says you never know or believing husband when your unbelieving wife might be in the church. You might save your unbelieving wife. I've seen it happen many times. What kind of example are you setting for your unbelieving wife? Men, what kind of example is a father? When your children look to you, did they see someone that's harsh and mean and shouting? One of the classes I did, and this was in one of my four church areas that I have now. I won't tell you which one it was, but some of the, I was doing one of the classes. Since I have not done any classes here, I don't think you know it's not here. So we rule one out right away. But anyway, some of the children in this class were talking about the parent-child relationship, and they said, I just wish we just, and several said this, we just wish our parents would not scream at us. And it made me realize that that is the approach that some parents use in child rearing. Is that the approach you use? Fathers, you need to think about it yourself. Scriptures say, don't discourage your children. Don't be harsh on them. Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Is it loving leadership? Is there control and guidance? Not screaming and shouting? Or are you provoking them to anger? Scriptures say, don't do that. What about you men right here in the church? If somebody were to follow you around, is it one of service? Do you look for ways to serve, to give? There are many ways. You say, well, nobody's told me to do anything. Well, you just go around and meet people, greet them, be friendly, make strangers welcome. I just have an idea. You'll see some chairs that need moving, or some tables that need to be set up too. There are ways you can pitch in. Are you looking for ways to serve and give? What kind of example are you setting? If Jesus came here and followed your example, you know, were to follow His perfect example, would He be doing what you're doing here?

We're supposed to be doing it the way Jesus Himself would do it if He were here. If He followed you around step by step, week by week here, what kind of example would it be? Would it be greeting strangers? Would it be establishing relationships with brethren? The perfect bond of love and of unity? The men are supposed to lead in the church. We don't have men giving sermons and sermonettes, opening and closing in prayer, song leading. The men are to do those things. Scriptures point toward that. Our men's club is to help us grow and develop in those areas. It will. I'm glad to see that so many are taking advantage of that.

We probably could say more things toward the men, but somebody said in one of the other two churches that I picked on the men more than the women. So I'll save a little bit of time for the women, too. Women, what kind of example are you setting? What kind of example are you setting for your believing husband who is in the church? Are you submissive to him? Do you follow his leadership as the head of your family? Do you respect him deeply? Scriptures require that.

You look to your husband to lead your family. Or do you try to maneuver behind the scenes?

Many times, the maneuvering behind the scenes will come out openly in the form of nagging, that's in front of the scenes, nagging. And there are many proverbs about women, about the wife, the contentious wife, is better to be up in a rooftop somewhere than with a contentious woman or wife. Are you that kind of woman? You shouldn't be.

I'm very thankful my wife is not a nagger, and she has just as much to nag about as anybody else, but she's not, and I appreciate that. But do you nag your husband? Or do you support him and back him up and assist him every way you can? You are a faithful, loving wife to assist and help him. You're the compliment God made for Adam. You're doing that for your husband. What about an unbelieving husband? Are you setting a good example or unbelieving husband, so that someday you might save your husband? I've seen it work that way many times. The wife comes into the church, and later on the husband follows her example.

Are you setting that kind of example for your unbelieving husband? What kind of are you setting as a mother? Are you setting a good example in every way? You think about that, carrying toward your children, training, patiently teaching. Are you harsh and screaming?

It's fine to be strict. It's fine to have rules that are enforced. We read about the mean old mother here in a sermon recently. It's okay to be firm, but not actually mean. What kind of mother are you, anyway?

What about here in church? There are many, many ways that women serve, even though they do not get up and speak. Many ways that behind the scenes, and maybe in the front of the scenes, too, out in front, women are serving and helping. Our women's clubs explore some of these ways that women can serve in their families and in the church. Are you ready to serve and to give? Do you get out and greet new people? You know, when United began in Ashboro, we have some outstanding examples of women there. And it came to my attention the very first time some came after the church that had been there for a while. They came to the service, and I'll just mention some of them. I think it'd be okay. And Mrs. Parks and Doris Emery and some others set such a good example of meeting and greeting them and making them welcome. They'll always remember that, the example of these women who did that. Friendly, warm, do you greet new people? Do you help and serve? Do you have close relationships with everyone? All your brothers and sisters in the church? Are you meeting young people and getting to know them? What kind of example are you setting as a woman? Anyway, are you helping with the youth classes? Are you helping with food and drink? Are you setting a good example of female warmth, a real godly femininity and hospitality? What about if you're a senior and you don't have a mate? Your mates may be dead. What if you're a young person and you're not married yet? A young adult? What if you're in high school or junior high school or elementary school? Jesus at the age of 12 was setting an example for adults. Young people can set examples at school, at work, at home, and here in the church. Many examples in the Bible, that of Joseph, Samuel, David, Jesus, Timothy, many others, all set good examples. Let's go to Titus chapter 2. We see something that pertains to young and old, some instruction about the example that we do set. Titus chapter 2 and verses 1 through 8.

Titus chapter 2 verses 1 through 8. As for you, speaking to Timothy, to Titus, rather, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine. Older men, here's the kind of example, older men than senior men. This could be married or not married, maybe widowed. Older men, be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience, sound in all these things. But the older women, again that could be married or widowed, older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given too much wine. And understand that that can be true. Some ladies become even alcoholics, drinking, you know, sipping along in the afternoon as they are home, yet lonely. Something to certainly not do, not given too much wine. Teachers of good things, that they admonish the young women. Now we get young women. These are married ones to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God may not be blasphemed. So the young women can be taught by the older women. The older women set the example first, and then they do teaching also, helping the young women to live the same way of life, the same example. Verse 6, Likewise, exhort the young men to be sober-minded, in all things showing yourself to be a pattern, a pattern, an example, showing yourself to be a pattern or example of good works, in doctrine, showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, sound to speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you. They just can't lay hold of you because your words are sound. We encourage all of our men to speak that way, words that cannot be condemned, solid, scriptural. Hide behind the scriptures. Expound on the scriptures. You can't go wrong when we do do it that way.

Men, women, young adults, old people, young people, are you setting a good example? No. Could it be said of you if somebody were to go around with you in the, let's say, your waking moments? They went around with you and they observed you at home and they observed you on the job and they observed you driving on the highways and they observed you shopping and everywhere here in church. Would it be said of you, this is the way it should be done? This person is blameless. He's above reproach. I don't find anything I can charge him with.

Everything is in order in every aspect of our life. At home, at work, in school, here in the church.

And I think I should hasten to add that I believe that if somebody were to sit in that front seat when you drive and I drive and we're with us all the time, they would pick up on a few things where we need to yet grow, even the best of us. There may be some that have a lot of more, there may be some here that have more room for growth than others in this area that we're speaking about, but none of us is perfect. But we certainly should not be doing letter of the law things that are, let's say, are reproachable and that could hold up against us.

Are you striving to improve your example that you set? Just like going to your dining room and hitting the dimmer switch and turning it up, brightening the light that you shine into the world. That's the challenge of this sermon today, that it's important, the message that we are proclaiming by our example. And we all should go to that dimmer switch and turn it up brighter and brighter and brighter. And not cause offense. Paul said that he tried not to cause offense to the Jew or to the Greek or to the Church of God. You'll find that in 1 Corinthians chapter 10 near the end. So Paul tried to not cause any offense to the Jew and to the Greek or to the Church of God. We should follow that example and ourselves strive to never cause any offense. You know, in the final analysis, if somebody were to stand beside you and sit beside you and go through your day, day by day, and observe you, in the final analysis what they would observe is what? Is it your example? At a deeper level, they would just be observing you. Because your example is what you are. Your example reflects who you are. That's what they would observe.

Our example just is what is inside of us. It is what radiates out. The light that shines out, it just goes out from deep inside. It's just like the words that come out of our mouth proceed out of the heart. And so out of our heart proceeds our example. It is who we are.

Are you setting a good example? You know, with God's help, we all can improve and set a better example. I hope we're already reaching a high mark. I hope we all are living blameless in our homes, in our jobs, in school, wherever. But no doubt, we all can improve. With God's Holy Spirit empowering us, we can, each and every one of us, go to that switch and turn it up brighter. Let our light shine brightly and set a good example.