Spiritual Leadership

Well, brethren, when we consider the plan of God and when we think about his methodology that he's used to disseminate this way of life, there's various structures in place that God has put in place to enable us to learn, to practice, and ultimately to develop in the spiritual character of God. Now, as far as the church goes, one of those structures, we might say, are formalized education, formalized instruction. We have the instruction from God, this preserved in the Scripture, the textbook of sorts, if you want to use that analogy.

We have the first-hand accounts and testimonies in the example of all of those who have come before us. We have an organized structure which enables us to meet the needs of our membership when it comes to weekly Sabbath services, online content for spiritual enrichment, sites for the Feast of Tabernacles camps, and all the other unique needs of a larger and diversified membership. But when you consider God's intent for the dissemination of His way, it was always intended to be primarily done through the family unit. It was always intended to be done through the family unit.

Now, I want to be clear, that doesn't absolve the church of their responsibility to ensure that instruction takes place in order to both preach the gospel, as well as to prepare the people of God for this level of instruction and their part in the gospel going out into the world. But the primary location for where this spiritual instruction is to be passed from generation to generation to generation is within the family unit.

Let's start today by turning over to Deuteronomy 6. We want to begin here today to kind of set the stage for where we're headed. Deuteronomy 6, and we're going to go ahead and pick it up in verse 4. Verse 4 of Deuteronomy 6, we'll see a well-known section of Scripture. Deuteronomy 6 and verse 4. It says here, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.

And then in verse 6, we start to see that shift into the responsibility that is laid on us as parents. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.

You shall teach them diligently to your children. You shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down. And when you rise up, you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. That word, house, can also sometimes be translated as family. Write it on the doorposts, so to speak, of our families, of our homes, of our houses. This particular section of Scripture is known in Jewish tradition as the Shema.

You might be familiar with that concept, and it's an important collection of words. It's actually so critical that when Christ responded to the question about what is the greatest commandment, he quotes the first portion of it. And he goes into it. You ask me what the greatest commandment is. This is a part of it. Loving the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your soul, with all your strength.

You know, all of your being, Christ said to the one who asked him. This section of Scripture is so important in Jewish tradition that it's a prayer that's actually said daily. It's a prayer that is recited daily in order to remind the person reciting it who God is, ultimately. It reminds them of their responsibility to him. It reminds them of their responsibility to his words. It reminds them of the internalization of his character that is necessary, but it also reminds them of the incredible responsibility that they hold in ensuring that these things are passed on to their children. The importance of ensuring that the next generation learns who God is and what their responsibility is to him so that it can then, in turn, be passed on to the children's children and the children's children's children.

And on down the line, however many, you know, fourth, fifth generation Christians you want to get into, God is a family. His goal is to build a family, and he does this through the family unit, through marriage, through procreation. And from the very beginning, God intended mankind to follow this structure. You know, in the God family, in the beginning, there was God and there was the Word. They existed. The Word was with God. The Word was God as well. He was part of that God, and he was part of that family.

And in addition to God and the Word, there were created sons of God, the angelic realm. Talks about that in Job, the sons of God, right? Talking about the angelic realm. Spirit beings who were created as ministering spirits, those who would serve and assist God and members of his family. As God's plan developed and as God's plan continued on, the Word became flesh, becoming the only begotten Son of the Father. And that family structure is now the structure that we see. God, Jesus Christ, a Son through spiritual begettle of the Holy Spirit, divine Father, human mother, and the created sons of God, the angels and the rebellious sons of God, the demonic realm as well.

Let's turn over to Genesis 1, verse 26, because that was never intended to be the only members of God's family. Genesis 1 and verse 26, you know, that was never intended to be it. God had plans all along to expand his family, to grow his family, to develop it further. Genesis 1 and verse 26, and then God said, let us make man in our image according to our likeness. Let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, over the cattle, over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. I got a little bug up here. It's visiting me. Trying to fly in my mouth. We'll see how far we go here. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and subdue it. Have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth. Man was made in the image and the likeness, as we might say, in the similitude of God. Why? Why? Because it was God's intent from the beginning to bring man into his family. To have similar characteristics. To have the ability to understand and to be able to reason and to think and to develop and to design and to build, just like God does. Through a process of spiritual begettle with Christ's death on our behalf, his blood shed for the forgiveness of our sins, for that payment of the death penalty in our place, the repentance and belief through the covenant of baptism and receiving the Holy Spirit. We have the beginning of this begettle process. Divine Father, human father, human mother.

And as time goes on, those spiritual characteristics of God can begin to grow, and they can begin to develop in us, just as the physical characteristics of our physical fathers are genetically expressed in the developing child. We become a new creation. Now, Peter discusses this aspect of God's plan in his first epistle. If you turn over to 1 Peter, he talks about this concept. He talks about the aspect of this part of God's plan in this first epistle. He talks about the various characteristics that we should be expressing, so to speak, if we want to use that terminology in our own lives. I'll try and get there to 1 Peter. My apologies. We're at 1 Peter 1, and we'll go ahead and begin in verse 13. Peter writes the following again as he talks about these characteristics that should be expressed in our lives as we begin to express these things of God as we interact with one another in our interactions with each other. Verse 13 of 1 Peter 1 says, Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ, as, notice what it says, obedient children, as obedient children to our Father, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all of your conduct, because it is written in verse 16, Be holy, for I am holy. Verse 17, If you call on the Father who, without partiality, judges according to each one's work, conduct yourselves throughout the time of your stay here, Peter writes, in fear, knowing that you are not redeemed with corruptible things like silver or gold, but your aimless or from your aimless conduct received by tradition from your fathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot. He indeed was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you, who through him believe in God, who raised him from the dead and gave him glory, so that your faith and your hope is in God. Verse 22, Since you've purified your souls and obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart.

Verse 23, Having been born again, not of corruptible seed, but incorruptible, through the word of God, which lives and abides forever, because all flesh is his grass, all the glory of man is the flowers of the grass, the grass withers, its flowers fall away, but the word of the Lord endures forever. It is that word of God that brings us to this point we enter into covenant with him.

Ultimately, when we look at this, Peter's reminding the readers of his epistle that through this spiritual begettle process, that they have been begotten again. The Greek word is anagonao.

Okay, anagonao. But this time he's saying not through a physical father, not through corruptible seed. Instead, in this case, the Spirit, through the Spirit of God that dwells in us, God's own DNA, so to speak. If we use that by way of analogy. John 1 verses 12 to 13, we won't turn there for sake of time, but it echoes that concept. It says, for as many received him, to them he gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in his name, who were born or begotten, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, like physical man, nor of the will of man, but of God. Brethren, as we develop and as we grow to become kind of the point of our birth fully into the Spirit in the future, we're putting on this characteristics of our Father. We're learning, we're growing, we're becoming like him, we're growing, we're developing in his character, just as human children develop in the womb and they take on characteristics of their parents during that development process, so too do we grow and develop spiritually. Colossians 3 in verse 12 to 17 provides a description to these characteristics of this new man. Colossians 3, if you turn over there, please, it'll help us to understand what exactly are these characteristics that are expressed in us as we develop spiritually, as we grow, and as we become more like our Father. What should that look like in our lives? What should that be like as we grow and as we develop? Colossians 3, verse 12, says, therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, set apart, sanctified and loved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, long-suffering. Verse 13, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection, and let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which you also were called in one body, and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. In verse 17, whatever you do in word or deed, whatever we say, whatever we do, that word whatever means whatever. Whatever we do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. These are the characteristics. There are more, certainly, but these are the characteristics that are intended to be disseminated through the family structure, through spiritual leadership in the home, through spiritual leadership in the home.

This sermon is one that is by request. Actually, this was one that someone reached out, gentlemen reached out and asked about. I don't get a lot of requested messages, to be honest. I think sometimes I'd actually appreciate a few more because it kind of helps to have, like, not real sure what you're going to speak on, you know, in the next couple weeks to be able to pull from that group of things. But this was one that was requested specifically, and since this weekend, the United States and much of the rest of the world is going to pause and kind of reflect on and acknowledge the critical role that fathers play in the family, even as we witness a society that's experiencing and reaping the negative effects of decades of fatherlessness, I thought it would be an apt time to visit this particular topic. I have a PowerPoint here today that is going to kind of accompany things if they could bring it up. Hey, there it is! The statistics on fatherlessness are difficult to stomach. When you take a look at the number of young people in the world who are living without a father, biological, adoptive, or stepfather, it's 18.4 million kids, which is one in four in the United States. 25% of kids, which actually is down a little bit since 2020. 2020 statistics were closer to 33%, but it varies based on ethnicity, it varies based on region. You know, some parts of the United States experience much larger issues and deal with much greater things relating to fatherlessness, some areas a little bit less. But what has been found in the work that's been done, and this is done by the National Fatherhood Initiative, fatherhood.org. You can definitely check out their information, it's great stuff. But what they found is that youth that grow up in homes without a present father are four times greater risk of poverty. They're more likely to exhibit behavioral problems as they grow and as they develop. It's been discovered statistically that they are more likely to go on to commit crime and go to prison. They're more likely to experience abuse and neglect, and as you can see from the diagram on the left, that list goes on. Okay, that list goes on. On the opposite side of that coin, kind of the right side over here, it gives us a little bit of an idea of what some of those positive effects of having a connected and involved father provide, and that it significantly reduces the risk of many negative outcomes in the life of that child. But the critical aspect is that is a positive and connected father. That's a positive and connected father. We see this list of things, high crime rates, higher rates of drug and alcohol abuse. We look at society. We're reaping the effects of decades of this issue today.

The rampant drug and alcohol use, the crime rates, prison, all of these issues. The leadership of a father in a family unit is critical. It's absolutely critical. Now, in the absence of a loving father and an involved father in a home, there are frequently situations in which mothers step up and they fill those gaps mightily. And I want to acknowledge that because that absolutely is the case. Mothers fill in those gaps mightily, but brethren, it's not the same. It's not the same.

It cannot fully replace the role of a father and the effects that that father figure has on a young man in particular. God designed men and women to fill very specific roles. He created them male, he created them female, and he gave them very specific responsibilities in this life.

And one of the biggest attacks that Satan has made on the family is the subversion of those roles.

The subversion of those roles, the blurring of the lines between men and women, between the roles of men and women, and the unfortunate abdication by men of one of the most important God-given roles, which is spiritual leadership in the home. Unfortunately, a role that has been abdicated or abdicated rather in significant percentages. Today, I'd like to take a look at this concept.

I'd like to explore this spiritual leadership from a couple of different directions, as was requested. This isn't a Father's Day message necessarily. I mean, it happens to coincide with Father's Day weekend, and it fits in many ways. But the reality is that most relationships that produce children, particularly among believers, when they begin as a newly married couple that's working on figuring out how to take two individual people and make them one person. And that's hard. That's a difficult task sometimes, as both of those individuals work to submit themselves to God and to His instructions for them. So the title for the message today is spiritual leadership, a critical facet. Spiritual leadership, a critical facet. I want to begin today by turning over to Ephesians 5 and establishing some of God's instructions in marriage, simply because it kind of helps to set the stage for what that leadership should then look like within that marriage. Ephesians 5. And we'll go ahead and pick up here in verse 22 as we start, again, to build this foundation. You know, Ephesians is a well-known passage. Paul's talking about the general structure of the marriage relationship. And realistically, the reason that marriage exists in the first place is that it is to be analogous to a relationship between Jesus Christ and His bride, to help us to understand the oneness, to help us to understand the oneness, even in some ways that God and Christ has. You know, to be able to understand the closest thing we can get to that level of oneness in this life is marriage. That's the closest that we can get in that system. Two, becoming one, truly becoming one, in so many different ways. Ephesians 5 and verse 22, we're gonna go ahead and pick it up in verse 22, it says, wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church, and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. That's what Paul wrote to the people in Ephesus when it came to this particular topic. What's interesting is we see Paul's first instruction here was to the women, which in the Roman world, we've mentioned this before, would have been very uncouth. Rome was a very patriarchal society. In fact, a society in which women had very little rights. They, in fact, they barely had names in the Roman society. That's why you see so many Claudias and Julius, because it's just at an A at the end of your dad's name, and congratulations, you have a name. Claudia, your dad is Claudius. Julia, your dad is Julius. They barely had names, in many cases, in the Roman world. But Paul's point to the women is twofold, and it's an important point that we all need to look at as well. Number one, Paul does say they are to be submissive to their husbands, just as they are submissive to the Lord. And the reason for that is because the husband is head of the wife, just as Christ is head of the church. There is a process here and a hierarchy in some ways of leadership that God has ordained in this life. But they're to be ultimately submissive to their husbands as they're submissive to the Lord. It also goes on to say that the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church, and is the Savior, we could say provider, protector, deliverer of the body, which means that the husband needs to be fulfilling those roles for submission to be properly taken care of. The second thing that Paul's making point here to women is because of the analogy that Paul is building, that it's this same behavior that the church on the whole, the bride of Christ, is to have toward their Lord.

Now, unfortunately, in today's day and age, this concept of submission comes with significant baggage. It comes with significant baggage. But similar baggage was in place during Paul's time, as well, which is why he includes what he includes in verse 25. Verse 25 of Ephesians 5 says, husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. Verse 28, so husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as the Lord does the church. Paul writes to the husbands, husbands love your wives. Love your wives. How? How? What does that look like? It looks like the kind of sacrificial love that Jesus Christ had for his ecclesia. A love for their spouse is just like the love that they have for their own bodies, because no one hated their own flesh, but instead they nourish it and they cherish it and they take care of it just like the Lord takes care of his church. When you have that kind of sacrificial love that's present in a relationship, when you have a person who's selfless and focuses on serving the other, has respect, has boundaries, has accountability in a relationship, submission's easy. It's not hard at all when you're dealing with someone who's operating from those parameters. But unfortunately, over the years, a number have taken this to mean that they can just demand submission, all the while not even remotely living the example of Jesus Christ. And in those circumstances, submission on the part of the wife is incredibly difficult and it puts her in a very challenging place spiritually, because on one hand, I am commanded by God to submit to my husband. But my husband is not submitting himself to God, and therein lies the difficulty. Because in those circumstances, men, we are asking our wives to submit herself to someone who is kind of a non-believer in that moment, because we're not submitting ourself to God. Right? And if it's not already, if it hasn't already, it may become very much emotionally or physically abusive with time, if it has not done so already. Another challenging situation can come up in these issues of submission when a woman refuses to submit herself to her husband, even if he's exhibiting the fruits of God's Spirit. And in doing so, she's forcibly positioning herself in the leadership role of the family. She's usurping the spiritual leadership of the home from her husband, and quite frankly circumventing the design of God for marriage. I don't know how to put it any other way, but that's exactly what's happening.

The reality is, marriages are a give and take. I mean, there's times, you know, in which, a perfect example, maybe the husband works outside the home, right? He's gone eight to ten hours a day working. And so he and the wife decide that she's going to end up taking a greater responsibility in some of the spiritual education of the kids throughout the day, in and out, kind of day in, day out type activities. When they, you know, as it talks about in Deuteronomy 6, when they rise up, when they sit down, when they walk by the way. Because the husband's out working, he's not home to do those things, right? But that's okay. That's not usurping a role of a husband, because they've talked about it. They've discussed it. They've agreed upon it. It's a mutual agreement here, and ultimately, the husband as a spiritual leader is still ensuring that that very critical aspect is being taken care of. It's just being taken care of, in this case, through delegation, you know, in some ways, because they're not able to do so otherwise. But in that sense, these two individuals in that example, well, they're submitting themselves to one another. But realistically, submission in a marriage only works if everyone is submitting themselves to someone. First example here, this is something you might have seen before. I think I went too far. There we go. Okay, so this is an example that you might have seen. I got it. Don't worry about advancing it. I'll take it. So the image that's up on the screen right now—I don't know how long it's been on the screen. It may have been there for a while. But this is the marriage triangle. This is a diagram that's referred to as the marriage triangle. At the top of the triangle, you have God. At the bottom corner of it, you have a husband. And on the other side, you have a wife. And there's three relationships in this marriage triangle. There's the husband and the wife. There's the husband and God. And there's the wife and God. Okay, ultimately there's three relationships here in this particular marriage.

And the basic concept behind the image is the idea that the closeness—or the oneness, so to speak—of the husband and the wife depends entirely upon their willingness to become one with God individually. Because as they become one with God, ultimately they get closer to God. They automatically become closer to each other. Because the distance between those two individuals gets smaller and smaller as they both individually reach to the peak of that relationship. As these individuals are growing in their personal relationship with Christ and with God, they're going to exhibit the characteristics of that relationship with the other person.

The fruit of the Spirit is going to be present in that marriage. There's going to be self-control.

There's going to be love. There's going to be patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness.

The individuals are yielding themselves to one another because they first yielded themselves to God. You know, in a situation in which you might have only one individual in a marriage working on their relationship with God, the triangle starts to look a little bit different. I'll go ahead and move it forward. You know, you have a little bit of a different setup. And I'm picking on the husbands. My apologies. It's Father's Day weekend. That's the only reason why. Guys, it's us this weekend. So as you look apparently, this could be either situation. Maybe the husband is working on being closer to God and the wife's not. Realize that up front. So I'm not picking on anybody in particular. I'm just saying. So in this situation, you see the wife is moving up closer to God in that sense.

And maybe the husband's not. Maybe the husband's stagnating a little bit and he's staying in that spot. Not really growing spiritually. And in that situation, the triangle starts to get a little bit misshapen. But you'll notice the distance between the wife and the husband, it's still relatively similar to where it was at the beginning. So this could maybe be kind of pushed along for a little while. Maybe it can be in a situation where, you know, they're able to kind of continue this for a little bit. And they can make efforts to grow closer to one another apart from God. Like just bringing the lower part of it together. But in the end, it's for naught. Because at the end, it's really that true oneness, closeness, and intimacy in marriage. The way that God designed it can only be found through mutual submission to God. That is the only way that you can draw closer to someone else's through mutual submission to God. But in this individual, or in this situation where one of the individuals stagnates, that relationship can withstand that for a little bit.

But in that marriage, or in that relationship, whatever it might be, the check engine light starts to come on. There starts to be some noticing of things that may be issues that are beginning to present themselves. One individual is growing closer to God, and based on the perspective they're getting from that spiritual growth, it's become very quickly and readily apparent that the other is not.

Sometimes we have this situation where a spouse is actually taking active steps in opposition to God, specifically moving further away from Him, not stagnant, moving in the other direction. And in that situation, the distance between the husband and the wife becomes very obvious very quickly as that line gets longer between the wife and the husband, or the boyfriend and the girlfriend, or whatever relationship you want to throw in here. But this is where it starts to become not just obvious to the individuals in the marriage, but it begins to become obvious to outside observers as well.

There's clearly issues, there's clearly challenges, and at this stage, quite frankly, without some form of intervention, some sort of marital counseling that's implemented by both parties or individualized counseling to address the issues, a restoration of that relationship is an incredible challenge, and it has to be something that both individuals are willing to fight for. Which brings us to the very first point here of what we're looking at today, as we have this background and this foundation now on spiritual leadership.

The very first point is that a spiritual leader is first a follower. A spiritual leader is first a follower. For somebody to be in the right frame of mind to lead spiritually in a relationship, for them to be able to accept the responsibility that has been placed in a relationship, marriage relationship in particular, on the man. But to have that burden of spiritual responsibility placed on their shoulders, that individual must first be a follower.

You lead by being a good follower. Let's go over to 1 Corinthians 11. First Corinthians 11. You can turn there if you'd like. Apostle Paul oversaw a number of congregations throughout Asia Minor. He worked with them. He helped them really understand what it meant to be Christian. Now, interestingly, Paul was unmarried.

Paul never took a wife. He didn't have children based on the records that we have. So he didn't have firsthand experience, so to speak, in that sense, to what it looks like to be a spiritual leader inside of a relationship. But he understood what that looked like in a relationship in a larger capacity, as maybe in this case the head of a congregation.

1 Corinthians 11. Paul writes, this is 1 Corinthians 11 verse 1, he says, imitate me just as I also imitate Christ. Other translations record this as follow me as I follow Christ. But Paul's point to those in Corinth is, I am going to lead by my example. You follow me as you see me following Christ.

He's not saying follow me, follow Paul, regardless of whatever actions I take, Paul is saying follow him as he follows Christ. Imitate him as he is an imitator of the godly example that Jesus Christ put forth. Let's go over to Mark 8 as we look at this idea of ensuring that we are following God.

Mark 8, we'll pick it up in verse 34. Mark 8 and verse 34. Christ kind of continues to outline some of these requirements of what it means to really come after him, what it really means to be able to truly follow him. You know, we talk about following God, follow us as we follow or follow as we follow Christ or follow God.

What does that even look like? Mark 8 verse 34, he writes the following. He says, when he had called the people to himself with his disciples also, he said to them, whoever desires to come after me or to follow me, we might say, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. Let him do those things.

Deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it. Whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it. He says, for what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul? Or, verse 37, what will a man give in exchange for his soul? For whoever is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation of him, the son of man, also will be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his father with the holy angels.

Christ said, whoever desires to come after him, whoever desires to follow him, they had three responsibilities. They had three things that they needed to be looking at and that they needed to be doing in order to do that. First, he said they needed to deny themselves. They needed to learn how to tell themselves no. It's literally what deny means. To learn how to tell themselves no. But it has an even stronger meaning than that. It meant to disown or to deny utterly. In fact, it's the same word in Greek that describes Peter's actions on the night of Christ's betrayal, where he was frustrated enough to say, I don't even know that man.

That's a denial. That's him saying no. It can be translated as to disregard, to pay no attention to, or just simply to say no to. Christ is making the point to those gathered to become a follower of his requires them to learn to disregard themselves. To learn to disregard themselves. To say no to themselves. To disown the self, so to speak. In order to then bring themselves into alignment with what God desires for them, with what his will is for them. Then he said they needed to take up their cross. They needed to take up their cross, or their stake, or whatever implement it was.

People debate about it and argue about it. I don't know. I honestly don't. The word that we see there for cross or stake, or whatever, is the root for crucify. So it's just saying the implement used to crucify.

But they need to take that implement up, he said. He said we need to take that up.

Ultimately, that recognition was that that was a final set of steps. If a person had hoisted that stake or that cross on their shoulders, they are on their way to death. That is the end result if it has been thrown on their shoulder at that point. Christ's point is that they need to die to themselves and live instead for him. Paul kind of echoes this. 1 Corinthians 15, 31, he says, I die daily. Paul says, I die daily. Each and every day I'm putting to death my own wants, my own desires. Sometimes those wants and those desires go against God's will for us.

And in those circumstances, Christ is saying those desires, those wants. They have to die.

They have to go away. Because the commitment that we've made, the covenant that we've entered into, it's a one-way street. It's a one-way street, and it ends with a death to ourself and living for Christ. Without that firmly in focus, we can't get to the third step of the process, which is following him. You know, if we consider what that means, if you've ever followed someone before, some of you probably have followed people before, if you've ever followed someone before, what that means is that if we're going in the opposite direction, that we turn and we follow him. Like, if he's going this way and we're going that way, to follow him literally means we have to turn around and follow him, right? That's what it means. If we turn back to the things that we've left behind, if we turn back to the things that were before, we're no longer following him.

We're walking in the other direction again. He's going the other way. Look at verse 37 again. Look at verse 37 again.

What will a man give in exchange for his soul?

Men, what are you willing to give up? What are you willing to trade for eternal life?

What are you willing to give up? What are you willing to walk away from God over?

What could possibly be so important in this world that it's worth turning away from following God?

You cannot lead if you don't know how to truly follow. It all begins here.

If you don't know how to truly follow, you cannot begin to lead.

Secondly, a spiritual leader leads themselves and their families in the right direction. Most of you have probably seen the bumper sticker that says, Don't follow me, I'm lost too. You've probably seen that one. My favorite is Andy Combs. Andy says you're following a bass player, just like most everybody else, which is musically true. You're following a bass player. But don't follow me. It says, I'm lost too. I always got a kick out of that because I've been there. I've tried following someone in a vehicle that didn't have the first clue of where they were supposed to be going. Some of you may have had that experience as well. It's maddening. It's frustrating. Very frustrating at times. There's stops, there's starts, there's hesitations. There's like, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to turn here or supposed to turn that. I don't even know! And sometimes there's a reroute to get yourself back on the right course because you took the wrong turn and you can't turn straight back in because who knows, maybe the freeway doesn't get off there. You got to go six exits up. This is oddly specific, isn't it? And get back on the freeway. Moral of the story, it's maddening and it's not a lot of fun.

I remember a time, I'm going to tell a quick story here. Shannon and I were in Alaska for the feast. This was probably 2004, I think was the first time we went to Alaska for the feast. We rented a vehicle that was significantly newer than any vehicle either of us had ever owned. I mean, man, this thing was like driving a spaceship. It was awesome. I'm so excited. We got back and we've gotten our own car and went, aww. Like, boo. But this thing was awesome. And it was early 2000s. It was one of the very first cars that we'd ever driven or that we'd even had in the past. It was the first cars that we'd ever driven or that we'd even had experience with that had turn by turn navigation. Some of you might remember turn by turn navigation. It was still very new at the time. But boy, was that cool. I could input the address on the dash, hit the button, and a little robotic voice would tell us where to go. I didn't know Anchorage at all. So we're driving around Anchorage. I had no clue where things were. I thought, we'll just follow the wonderful robotic voice telling us where the robotic voices have gotten a lot better since then. But just all you need to do is follow the robotic voice. So we're driving along, I think it's fourth, the main drag there in Anchorage, and we're watching the map and we're waiting for the instruction to turn into the location that we're trying to find. But we didn't see it and the voice didn't say anything.

It's still early in development of GPS technology, apparently. Suddenly, we hear the voice say something like rerouting. We're like, wait, what? What are you talking about? Rerouting. And then it says, turn right. Where? Where? There's nowhere to turn right. There's nowhere. So we're like, okay, we'll turn right at the next place we can turn right. I mean, that makes perfect sense. We turn right. We follow the road for a little bit. The next thing we hear is turn right, then right.

Sorry, what? Turn right, then okay, fine, fine, fine. Turn right, then right. We did. It says, turn right once again. We looked at each other. We were back on fourth, right where we were when it started the rerouting the first time. We never did find it with the GPS. We had to turn it off and find it the old-fashioned way. We finally did. But to truly lead others spiritually requires us to have a very specific direction in which we are focused. A very specific direction in which we are focused, where we know where we're going, and the ability to navigate in that direction appropriately without getting off course, without getting lost. We have to know where we're going and what direction is needed to actually get there. And because a true spiritual leader will say is first a follower, a spiritual leader is going to lead his wife and his family in the right direction toward God.

Toward God. Anything to the contrary is not spiritual leadership. If you are leading your wife and your family away from God, that is not spiritual leadership. The book of Proverbs contains a great deal of wisdom that relates to this particular topic. You want to turn over to Proverbs. We're going to pick it up in Proverbs 4. Proverbs 4 and verse 1. And we'll pick up the instruction here from a father to a son. You know, in many ways, again, this generational understanding, this generational wisdom and leadership.

Talks here in Proverbs 4 about the path that God desires us to walk and kind of is this example of spiritual leadership from a father to a son, kind of really helping them understand the right way to go, the proper pursuit of wisdom and the learning of God's way. Proverbs 4, and we'll pick it up in verse 1, it says, here my children, the instruction of a father, give attention to no understanding. Again, teaching them while they are sitting by the way, while they're sitting, sitting and when they rise up and when they're walking along the way. This is a method of doing that. For I give you good doctrine, I give you good teaching. Do not forsake my law, he says. When I was my father's son, tender and the only one in the sight of my mother, he also taught me and said to me, let your heart retain my words. Keep my commandments and live. Verse 5, get wisdom, get understanding. Do not forget nor turn away from the words of my mouth. Do not forsake her and she will preserve you. Love her and she will keep you. Wisdom, here kind of personified in this particular proverb, is the principal thing. Therefore, get wisdom and in all you're getting, get understanding.

Exalt her and she will promote you. She will bring you honor when you embrace her. She will place on your head an ornament of grace, a crown of glory she will deliver to you. And this father is giving instructions to his son, saying, get wisdom, get understanding. Hear the commands of the Lord, keep them and live. Don't forget, he says, don't turn away from the words of God. Don't forsake wisdom and wisdom, she here, will preserve you. Verse 10 goes on, it says, hear my son and receive my sayings and the years of your life will be many. I've taught you in the way of wisdom, I've led you in right paths when you walk, your steps will not be hindered. When you run, you will not stumble. Take firm hold of instruction, do not let go. Keep her, for she is your life. Do not enter the path of the wicked, do not walk in the way of evil. Avoid it. He says, don't even travel on it. Don't even, we see later instruction in Proverbs, don't even go near it. He says, walk on the other side of the street. He says, stay away from these areas that are walking in evil. Avoid it. Don't travel on it. Turn away from it and pass on, for they do not sleep unless they have done evil and their sleep is taken away unless they make someone fall, for they eat the bread of wickedness and they drink the wine of violence. But the path of the just is like the shining sea that shines ever brighter into the perfect day. The way of wickedness, the way of wickedness is like darkness. They do not know what makes them stumble, right? And so as we take a look at this—thank you for advancing that. I told you not to earlier. You did it this time. Thank you. Appreciate that. He starts to now contrast this way of the righteous to the way of the wicked and brings to bear this concept as two very different paths. It's not like they're next to each other. It's not like, you know, they even ever connect and cross over. These are two very different directions to go in life. These are two very different directions to go in life. The writer of this particular proverb says he has led his son in the right paths, and provided he stays on those paths and walks those steps, his footsteps won't be hindered or stumble because that path is bright, it is clear, it is God's path. But then he says, don't enter the path of the wicked. He says, don't walk in the way of evil. Avoid it. Turn away from it. Don't travel. Don't even travel on it, he says. The path of the just, it says, is like the shining sun that shines ever brighter.

But the way of the wicked is darkness, and they cannot even see what causes them to stumble. If you've ever taken a wooded path at night, boy, those roots can grab your feet without you even knowing they're there. I know you're walking along and you think you're doing fine next thing, you're face down on the ground. You went from vertical to completely horizontal and gravity, end of gravity in a half a second. But that's what happens when the path is dark, when it's not illuminated in the right way. A spiritual leader will lead his wife and his family along that path of the righteous. They won't take them down a path of darkness that could potentially cause them to stumble and sin. And so if we're not leading those in our relationships toward God, or if our actions are somehow causing them to sin or to stumble, then quite frankly, we've abdicated the role of spiritual leadership. It does not absolve in any way the individual responsibility for people's decisions and actions and choices, but if our actions, the things that we say and that we do, are the reason for that stumbling. If habitual sin has put a wedge into a relationship, or if we're treating a person with harshness, as Paul admonishes against in Colossians 3 and verse 19, or if we're not fulfilling our physical or our spiritual duties as husbands, we are not leading them on the right path. And we should be wearing a warning sticker that reads, don't follow me, I'm lost too. While we're still trying to figure out which way we're going, we cannot lead someone else. We can't. In those situations, we first have to find the right path to follow. We have to get our feet on the right path. We may need to turn in repentance to God. We may need to re-establish a proper relationship with Him. We may need to begin, once again, walking in the same direction as God. You know, a spiritual leader is first a follower, and they will lead in the right direction. If we're not, if we're not following Christ, we will ultimately lead contrary to Him, and we will ultimately lead our families in the wrong direction.

You know, there are times in which we stumble. There's times where we have, you know, issues that might come up, and those temporary things provided they're addressed with a repentant heart, and our goal is to get right back to where things were. That's part of this Christian life. We fall down, we get back up, we dust ourselves off, and we get back to work, right? This is talking about individuals that are headed down a path with no focus toward repentance, with no focus towards getting back on the right path. You cannot follow someone. You can't or cannot follow. You can't lead someone if you're in that place. We will lead in the wrong direction. Lastly, and this is our last point here today as we begin to close things up, a spiritual leader is accountable. A spiritual leader is accountable. A book of Hebrews contains instructions for the church regarding those who oversee them spiritually, but the concept can be, I think, extended in principle to those who whom we have a spiritual responsibility over in our families as well. Hebrews 13, we'll pick it up in verse 7, and contextually, contextually it's referring to those who have spiritual oversight over congregations or over a group of believers in the New Testament church structure, overseers, bishops, pastors, elders, whatever you want to call it. The idea being that those in those congregations recognize the seriousness of the calling of that person that's in that responsibility. Hebrews 13 and verse 7 says specifically, remember those who rule over you, who have spoken the Word of God to you, whose faith follow, considering the outcome of their conduct. Okay, again, contextually referencing a spiritual relationship between, you know, a teacher or a pastor or an overseer or a congregation. But what are we talking about? We're talking about spiritual leadership. In that sense, it's the same concept, that there is spiritual instruction being provided from a place of provided authority from God into a group of individuals, or in this case, possibly a family or a spouse. But the idea, again, in this section, is getting those in the congregations to realize the seriousness of the calling of that person in that responsibility. Verse 17, he gets at the reason why, and he goes through a bunch of information here for sake of time. We're going to jump through. I'm going to get to just 17. It says, obey those who rule over you and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls as those who must give account. And then Paul says, or the writer of Hebrews, I always do that, then it says, let them do so with joy and not with grief.

Says, for that would be unprofitable for you. Kind of the point that Paul's making is that these individuals that are in positions of spiritual leadership, they are accountable.

There is an accountability that is present in that. Those individuals are watching out for the spiritual condition of those that they have been given charge over. Ultimately, those individuals will give an account. So the writer of Hebrews really is saying here in verse 17, help them out.

Says, let them do so with joy and not grief in this case. But again, remember, we talked about how the methodology through which God intended that his way be distributed is through a family structure. Again, Deuteronomy 6, we see that. And in that sense, then, shouldered in that, with that spiritual responsibility, in many ways, is the patriarch of that family, is the individual that is in charge of that in the ideal sense. And in that sense, these instructions would apply metaphorically to spouses, to children, and those that they would be tasked with having responsibility spiritually. But we know from Scripture that we will provide an account for our stewardship in this life. I'm going to read you just a couple of passages here real quick. Matthew 12, 36 to 37, talks about how we will give account of every idle word. We will provide account of every idle word that we have said. That word idle means lazy or useless. So all of our lazy and useless words, we will give account of them. Romans 14 verse 12 says that each of us will give an account of ourselves before God. We will provide an account of ourselves before God. James 3 verse 1 says, those who are teachers, they'll incur a stricter judgment, and they'll incur a stricter judgment because of the responsibility and the weight of the role of spiritual instruction and leadership.

Revelation 20 verse 12 says, we see the dead, great and small, standing before God. Books were opened, their deeds were judged from that which was written. We will give an account of our stewardship in this life. We will. In Luke 12, we want to turn over there real quick. Luke 12.

God provides a parable about the faithful steward. He begins to look at this concept.

One who's faithful over what God has provided responsibility over. Luke 12. We'll pick it up in verse 42. Oh, I'm in Luke. Look at that. He's trying to find it.

Luke 12, and we'll pick it up in verse 42.

Luke 12 verse 42 says, who then is that faithful and wise steward, the Lord here saying, who then is that faithful and wise steward whom his master will make ruler over his household to give them their portion of food in due season? He said, blessed is that servant whom his master will find so doing when he comes. Truly, I say to you that he will make him ruler over all that he has. You know, that's an incredible, incredible promise, you know, to see the hard work that is rewarded, you know, as we're faithful stewards over what God has given us, faithful and wise. Verse 45, but if that servant says in his heart, my master is delaying his coming and begins to beat the male and female servants and to eat and to drink and to be drunk, then the master of that servant will come on a day when he's not looking for him and an hour when he's not aware and will cut him into and appoint him as portion with the unbelievers.

The servant who knew his master's will and did not prepare himself or do according to his will shall be beaten with many stripes. In this scenario, what is the will of God? The will of God is that as men, we are the spiritual leaders of our household. That is God's will. That is his instruction for us. But he who did not know, yet committed things deserving of stripes, says, shall be beaten with few. For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required, and to whom much has been committed of him, will they ask them more. Now, this is a much broader parable here as we're looking at this. This has to do with the work of God and all the aspects that are going in, but the principle of accountability is present. It's present here. It's present in a number of locations in scriptures. God's expectation of each of us as Christians is that we will be wise and faithful stewards over what we've been given. You know, there's a passage that says, he who finds a wife finds a good thing. Right? That was something given by God to us. He who finds a wife finds a good thing, it says. God's expectation is wise and faithful stewardship over what we've been given. But for those who hold additionally the role of husbands and fathers, that includes the aspects of this structure that God's put into place. He will hold us accountable, because in this life, these structures that God has provided, ultimately, buck stops here. In my family, the buck stops here. It's my responsibility, and I will answer for it. Paul cautions husbands and fathers in Colossians 3 verse 19. He says, Love your wives, do not be bitter or harsh with them. Do not be bitter or harsh with them.

He goes on in verse 21 of Colossians 3 to admonish fathers not to provoke their children to wrath, not to just purposefully chip and poke until you get an angry response.

Verse 7, Peter instructs, give honor to the wife as heirs together of the grace of life. But then he goes on to say, so that your prayers will not be hindered. If we are not providing honor to our wife, our prayers can be hindered. Scripture says it right there. Our prayers can be hindered. God takes us seriously. God takes us very seriously, and so do we. We need to.

We need to not only wait on God to hold us a two-account, right? I mean, we need to hold ourselves and one another two-account as well. Let's go to James 1 as we'll close here today. James 1, kind of bring our final scripture in and then a conclusion here. But James 1, and we'll go ahead and pick it up in verse 21. James 1 and verse 21. James 1 and verse 21 says, Therefore, lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word which is able to save your souls. Verse 22, But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror. For he observes himself, he goes away, so he looks at himself in the mirror, and then he goes away. It says, and he immediately forgets what kind of man he was, right? Does the tick stock, looks in the mirror, sees himself, goes, Oh, hey, there's that thing. I don't know, leaves and forgets about it.

But he who looks, it says, into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does.

You know, every year for the Passover, we go through an examination period. You know, God desires that we take a look in the mirror now and again. God absolutely desires that we take a look in the mirror now and again, that we take an opportunity to observe, we take an opportunity to consider and to make changes if necessary. What we don't want to do is risk looking in the mirror, seeing the need for change and hearing the need for change, seeing it, and then not following through. Not following through. James continues, verse 26, if anyone among you thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue, but deceives his own heart, this one's religion is useless. Number 27, pure and undefired, undefired. Give my words straight, pure and undefiled. Religion before God and the Father is this, to visit orphans and widows in their trouble and to keep oneself unspotted from the world. Pure and undefiled religion, right? To visit orphans and widows in their trouble, not to create spiritual widows and orphans through our actions and our words. In all of this, the goal of a spiritual leader is to provide a climate and an environment for spiritual growth in their household. Right? Joshua said, as for me and my house, right? I'm going to set the stage, Joshua said. This is how it's going to be in my home, in my house, my family. This is what we're going to do. But it sets a very clear climate and an environment for spiritual growth. It models it, and it's ultimately that climate that is tasked to us as men, as spiritual leaders, of the structure that God has provided us. You know, God operates with absolute purpose and intentionality. You know, nothing is haphazard. As part of his family, he's created a very specific structure. He is sovereign. Then Christ, then man, as future sons and daughters in his family. Now, while men and women have spiritual, equal spiritual potential, in the kingdom of God, at this time, in this life, there's been a responsibility in this life provided to men to take on a leadership role in various structures that God has put into place.

That leadership is both physical, it's providing, it's protecting, it's serving, it's being a loving companion. But spiritually, there is a responsibility that's been provided to the man to ensure that God's way of life is disseminated appropriately to the next generation, to help the members of our families live a godly life. And men, it's our responsibility to ensure that we're following that appropriately, that we're following God appropriately, that we're leading others in the right direction, not driving them away from God with our words and our actions. And that's critical because we're going to be held accountable for our words, our actions, and our stewardship of what God has provided us. Unfortunately, we look around society today, and in society today, abdication of this role is rampant. It's absolutely rampant. People are more focused on their own wants, their own needs, their own desires than God's will. But even in their own families, selfishness is frequently present. God is calling us as men on this Father's Day weekend to step into this role of spiritual leadership, to be able to properly follow, to lead in the right direction, and to accept the responsibility of what this means in our families, in our churches, and in society at large. So this Father's Day weekend, whether you're a father or not, whether you're a father or not, as one whom this responsibility has been given, I hope that we'll take some time to hold ourselves to account, to ask the hard questions and really consider where we stand on this front. Are we fulfilling the responsibility that has been put on us? Is there room for growth? Is there a need for repentance and return? Brethren, let's never forget to whom much is given, much is required.

Let's take this responsibility head-on. Let's shoulder it. Let's become the husbands and fathers that God has called us to become.