8 Truths You Need To Know To Have A Godly Marriage and Family

#1 - God is the Author of Gender. 

The Creator of the universe is responsible for the reality of male and female.

There is a trend in our western society of doing away with the idea of gender. This trend is Satanic; the gender neutral movement is inspired by the adversary of humanity, it is driven by demons, it serves the adversary's greater purpose of separating the Father of Creation from His children. Ultimately, it will fail. However, this agenda is going to do a great deal of damage between now and then. Don't let yourself be spiritually damaged by this insidious movement.

The groundwork for the gender neutral movement has been established gradually, subtly, and in such a way that is now deeply embedded into common thought. The origins of it go back to the theory that human beings evolved. As such all human cultures, social patterns, institutions also evolved.

The latest development in this ridiculous farce is that all ideas about what it means to be a man or a woman, masculine or feminine is humanly devised...  and therefore can also be changed and redefined by humans. We are primarily talking about "roles" here not differences in chromosomes.

The evolutionary scenario presented is that because males are physically stronger this lead to them subjugating women. Now that we have various technologies that bypass the need for physical strength we no longer need to submit to these obsolete ideas. We are free to evolve new thinking on the roles of men and women.

Genesis 1:26-27 The Creator made human beings male and female. This clear assertion which comes right at the very beginning of the bible. This is why the gender neutral movement is profoundly anti-bible. They may profess to be spiritual or pro-God, but the clarity of the biblical statements on gender make the actual recorded word of God unacceptable.

Genesis 3:16 having greater physical strength may have affected how men relate to women over time, but the roles of men and women within marriage were defined and put in place by the Creator. Note: within marriage not within society.

#2 God is the Author of Marriage

The institution of marriage between a man and a woman is not a humanly devised tradition, a social convenience, or an evolutionary development. Humans did not invent marriage and we have no biblical authority to change it.

Humanity can come up with all sorts of different sexual and family relationships and insist on calling them a marriage... but such are really something very different.  Marriage between a man and a woman is a divine decree for all humanity.

Genesis 2:18-24 it is God who joined man and woman together in what the bible calls marriage. This first marriage introduces us to the ideas a complimentary roles in marriage " she is a suitable helper", implying a chain of command. Marriage also provides a safe nurturing container/boundary for sexual expression and birthing of children. This is what it means "to become one flesh".

#3 Man and Woman both have the same spiritual potential.

Galatians 3:26-29 regarding your spiritual potential, there is no difference between racial groups, different social/economic groups... OR gender!

1 Peter 3:7 both have the same potential for eternal life and the full rights of inheritance in the eternal family of God.

Pay attention to the fact that this truth is accompanied by a warning directed at men. Don't let your position of physical dominance [note: the reference to strength], or your God ordained role of husband [see verse 1] make you think you are spiritually superior to your wife. God's teaching is that you should properly evaluate [and honor] the role your wife has been assigned within your marriage.

A believing woman submits herself to her husband out of reverence and respect for God. Other women might submit [or not submit] to a husband for a variety of reasons [economic, tradition, etc]... but a believing woman takes this submission to a transcendent  level. It is an core part of her spiritual journey.

#4 Marriage is a contract made with God, and with other people. 

The Church of God recognizes all marriages between men and women, whether the ceremony was conducted by a justice of the peace, a Shinto priest, a communist commissar, or a minister of God's church. It is God who binds the man and the woman together, not the Church. 

Matthew 19:3-6 God has joined the 2 together.

Matthew 19:7-9 there are legitimate reasons for divorce. Sexual immorality {gross indecency]  is cited by Jesus here, the other would be abandonment, or desertion by an unbelieving mate [covered in 1 Corinthians 7:15].

Matthew 19:10-12 the disciples say, "whoa, that's intense" ... Jesus says, "yes it is". Like the disciples, many find this kind of binding commitment too much to swallow. But, marriage is binding. And it important to Jesus Christ, your Lord and Master.

#5 Marriage & family parallels Gods plan for bringing children into His family

It is God's desire to share who and what He is with others. This is why human beings even exist. This is our purpose for being.

The best way for us to understand God as a thinking, feeling being, and to understand His plan and purpose is to participate in... experience... the love, care, concern within the family structure. The living breathing experience of family is God's #1 teaching tool for this essential lesson and preparation for entering into His eternal family.

The current gender neutral movement is opposed to the biblical, God ordained, structure for family. It is a train of thought that is inspired by Satan and driven by human beings desire to define reality according to their own terms. Satan does not want human beings to know, understand, appreciate, or desire this intimate connection with God.

1 Corinthians 11:3 its presented with inverse order but spells out a hierarchic setup: God-->Christ-->husband-->wife-->children Ephesians 6:1 presents the role of children  in family structure.

Ephesians 5:21 submission is required by all parties. But, submission functions differently depending on your role within the family structure. A man must submit to and fulfill his role… a woman must submit to and fulfill her role.

Ephesians 5:22-25 the family is where we learn the ABCs of submission and authority in a loving, caring environment with mutual concern and affection.

Ephesians 5:28-33- Ephesians 6:1:3 Paul, "we learn deep spiritual truths through the family and it gets pretty lofty... however to boil it down husbands love your wives, wives respect your husbands, children honor your parents.

LOVE, HONOR, and RESPECT are the traits of the God family. We begin imprinting those vital concepts on our brains though our personal experience with the human family... as a child and as a parent, as a wife, as a husband.

Our society is actively working to destroy the relationship of marriage and family. You must resist the trend. Work on your family, expend the extra energy needed to counter-balance the foolishness out there. Defend  your mind from it, defend your children from it. Teach your sons to be masculine, to be godly husbands, teach your daughters to be feminine, to be godly wives. And for yourself, learn the deep spiritual truths of your loving, caring, concerned God available to you through your family.

For example; 1 John 4:8-10,16 Parents don’t love their child because they are worthy. They don’t love their child because the child first loves them. Parents can't help but love their child. This is a profound insight into God's love for you. You can better understand the love of God through a loving family. Children can't help but love their parents, to seek their approval, a smile, a word of praise or comfort. You can better understand your love for God through a loving family unit.

Satan does not want this to happen and he is actively seeking to undermine and pervert our understanding and experience of marriage and of family. If there are no families there will be no natural bonds of affection between people. People will become hardened.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 these are the attitudes and actions that will accompany a breakdown of the family unit. Lack of mutual concern and feeling, absence of the natural affections people should have for one another [which they should have learned through family].

I believe we are seeing this very thing happening all around us. I believe the breakdown of the family has caused serious damage and problems within the church... a breakdown in feelings of common cause, fellowship, even spiritual clarity.

#6 Giving up of yourself

In a Godly family there is sacrificial love, which means the members of the family give time, attention, encouragement to one another even when they would rather be doing something else.

This type of sacrificial love begins with the father.. husbands are to actively "love their wives [and children]".

Romans 5:6-8 Christ gave everything He had for the family! He didn't want to be executed, but He did it for you. So, dad may want to spend all his money on himself but he doesn’t. Dad might prefer to spend all his spare time in his man-cave, or playing golf or watching football but he makes sure to spend most of his time with his wife and children providing companionship and guidance.

The husband makes his own needs subject to what is good for the family. This is how we "give up our self".

#7 Respect for ordained authority

 Respect is a difficult concept to nail down by definition. Here are some key elements: 

1. Esteem for a person's quality or excellence
2. Deference to their right of office [fear of what can happen if you don't]
3. Courtesy - acknowledgment of their worth as a person

It is common to hear "respect must be earned"... and this is true if we consider respect as esteem for a person's quality or excellence. Within the setting of a Godly family earning this kind of respect requires that you be faithful, loyal, just, fair, dependable, serving, aware of the needs and feelings of others.

However,respect is also deference to a person's right or office. This is not a matter of their character. Its an acceptance of authority.

An example in human terms; its always good to show respect for a police officer, not because he is a righteous person, or that the police force is always just… but because we fear bad things will happen if we get on the wrong side of the law.

In Ephesians 5:33 we are told a wife should respect her husband. The word there is phobeo which literally means fear. 1 Peter 3:1-6 in a Godly family a wife is told to subject herself [in phobeo] to her husband's authority within the family and to abide by his decisions. We are told that the "women of old" did this because they hoped [trusted] in God.  

A godly woman’s fear is based on her fear of God’s disapproval and judgment is she does not fulfill her role. Note: fear of physical abuse is outside the boundaries of a Godly marriage. The Church does not counsel women to remain in physically abusive, violent, or dangerous situations.

Both husband and wife are "offices" within the God's organizational structure for this life and beyond. Husbands: honor and respect the office your wife has been given within the family. Wives: honor and respect the office your husband has been given within the family. Children: honor and respect your parents.

#8 Repentance & change

The root of most marriage problems is spiritual... because marriage is a spiritual institution. To have a Godly marriage means we have to let ourselves be changed.

Matthew 18:1-4 to be converted means turn and go a new way. We are not talking about repentance for some specific infraction... we are talking about a turning away from the self... our fixation on our self... and letting go [to be humble]. Letting ourselves become a new being. Let yourself grow into a fully realized member of the family of God... the kingdom of God.

We must examine ourselves relative to our role in our family, we must examine ourselves in relation to our mate. This requires, instruction [knowing the goals], communication [talking with your mate and establishing a common understanding of how thisall  works], reflection [sober consideration of how you are performing], and change [action, do what needs doing, fix what needs fixing].

Matthew 6:33