Being A Husband Gods Way

Well, the title of today's message, Being a Husband's God's Way. Being a Husband's God's Way. Let's open our Bibles to our place of departure this afternoon, and that would be 1 Peter chapter 3, and we'll begin in verse 7. 1 Peter chapter 3 and verse 7. Now you will know this is part 2 of our time and focus here in 1 Peter. Part 1, of course, was the instruction of Peter to the wives, and now we come to the instructions of and that to the husbands. This letter from Peter, it's one of the most practical letters of instruction. Peter was writing this instruction to the scattered believers at that time, and he was writing to these generations of his day, and he writes this to our generation today, I think you will see. So let's read this together. Just one verse as Peter turns his instruction again to the husbands. First Peter 3 verse 7. Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife as the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. Let me just say here from the start that those that don't have a called spouse or a Christian spouse, we could say, we're going to pray, and we should pray, that you can live your life before them in such a way in which your joy and your relationship with God may one day be theirs. Last Sabbath that I was with you, we dealt with, again, with God's instruction as given to the wife. We reviewed the wife's role as per God's way and his pattern, and now we come to this one verse concerning what it means to be a Christian husband. We fully acknowledge that we do not live in a vacuum. We live in an environment, though, that is full of corruption. There's corruption in our society, and by that I mean there's corruption with regards to God's clear word of instruction, a society that's turned its back on the Maker's instruction. There's nothing new we know because in the beginning we remember the devil. The serpent said to the woman, did God really say you must not eat of any tree in the garden? So the devil's approach first is to come to Eve in the garden to call into question what God really said. Did God really say that? Eve corrects him by saying that's not actually correct. God did say we may eat of every tree in the garden. He simply said we may not eat of the tree in the midst of the garden, nor touch it lest you will die. Now what does the devil say? You shall surely not die. So in other words, if God did say that, that's not what he meant. So we see the first in the approach, did he say it? Followed up with then, well that's not what he meant. That's exactly how Satan the devil approaches us today. He wants us to be uncertain with what God said, and then he wants us to be uncertain with what God meant to say. No more so than in the role defined as for the husband and the wife. Do you really think that God wants you to be that kind of wife or that kind of husband? Did he really say that? Well, I wonder if he did say that. I wonder if that's what he actually meant. And these questions taking hold of so many and causing so much unbelievable confusion with regards to the husband and wife role and with regards to God's authority. So it's not simply this is about the relationships. Fundamentally, it's about the authority of the Bible. If Satan can erode that, then if he can get the church soft in one particular area or another, then he can presumably get the church soft in other areas.

So all that and by way of introduction as we come again this afternoon to God's instruction for the husband. And we notice first thing here in this powerful verse is what? I believe what we first notice here in verse seven is that the relationships to which Paul which Peter refers to here, they are reciprocal relationships. In other words, there's a reciprocal obligation for the husband in this instruction because you'll notice what he says here. He uses the word likewise there in verse seven in addressing the husbands. Just as he used likewise in the wife's instructions, you will notice. And we noticed last time verse one, wives likewise and in verse seven, husband likewise. So there's this reciprocal principle here. And when you begin to look for it, this reciprocal principle, you begin to see it all throughout Scripture. For example, if children are to act a certain way to their parents, if they're to honor their parents, then parents, your reciprocal obligation is not to provoke them to wrath.

Just one example, but you see this reciprocal obligation all throughout God's word here. Likewise there's a reciprocal obligation with regards to the husband and wife relationship. There is no suggestion that all the privileges fall on the husband and all the obligations fall on the wife. In fact, that was the notion that was particularly the case in Peter's day. So as Peter's penning this, you can just imagine the revolutionary impact that this letter would have made in his day. But really it should make a revolutionary impact to our day and to us today. This is a notion not only promulgated in other cultures, but this idea is alive and well in Western culture. The notion that all the obligations fall on the wife and all the privileges fall on the husband. But Peter's going to explode that mythology here. So he says, again, verse 7, "...husbands likewise in the same way." Hamoios is the word. And you remember from the last study what he was saying to the wives. He was saying wives in the same way, and he introduced the submissive principle. And he uses this exact phrase here. Okay, husbands, in the same way.

The same reciprocal pattern as your pattern as you fulfill your obligation that's been given to you. Now, what are the obligations? Well, first he says, here, "...dwell with them with understanding." Dwell with them with understanding. So what does that mean? He is to dwell with his wife according to understanding, it says. Okay, what kind of understanding? Only we could say that the husband must dwell with the wife with the understanding of what it means for his wife to live out the principles in 1 Peter 3, verse 1 through 6. We went through that last time. In other words, dwell with your wives in light of what I just said to your wives, says Peter. You are living with a lady who's seeking to fulfill verses 1 through 6. So you need to understand the implications of that for her. Understand husbands that your wife is trying to fulfill her obligation of submission. Your wife is trying to fulfill this obligation to bend her will to yours. She's trying to fulfill the obligation in order to display to the world how one responds to the love of Jesus Christ. You remember that from last study. Her obligation of submission in order to display how Christ submitted his will to the Father. So you husbands must understand the heights in which she's been called in fulfilling her role with the tyrannization that comes from society with it. So Peter's saying, I hope you understand this, husbands. Likewise, there needs to be a reciprocal understanding. Dwell with your wives and understand all that I just outlined in her role in verse 1 through 6. And you'll notice he goes on to say, giving honor to your wives. Dwell with her in understanding, giving honor to the wives. In other words, treat them with honor. Now this word honor, it's a rich word. This is not the type of honor that you might use in saying, well, you know, I honor the speed limit, let's say. I respect the speed limit. Now this is a much deeper word here. In fact, this word is actually translated a little bit earlier in Peter's letter as the word precious. Precious. And it's used there in reference to Jesus Christ being precious to us. Let's look at that briefly, just for a moment. Same word here. So just go back one chapter here in 1 Peter to chapter 2 in verse 6 and 7. This same word that's translated honor there in verse 7 is now here in chapter 2 translated precious. In chapter 2 verse 6 and 7 it says, Therefore it also contained in the scripture, Behold, I lay in Zion a chief cornerstone, elect, precious, and he who believes on him, that's Jesus Christ, will by no means be put to shame. Verse 7, Therefore to you who believe, he is precious. I'll stop there.

To you who believe, Jesus Christ is precious. Quite a word. So treat your wives with honor, he says in chapter 3 verse 7, or preciousness, in light of chapter 2 and verse 6 and 7, where husbands, you do associate your preciousness to your wife with the preciousness you feel towards Jesus Christ. So the literal translation could be, and if we go back to chapter 3 and verse 7, husbands treat your wives with preciousness, the preciousness you feel toward your Savior, Jesus Christ. So preciousness, you know, precious things are afforded a special place. There's a special care here. And we must let our wives know just how precious they are. So let's pause husbands for just a moment and take a focus on what the real practicality of this is. Question. Have our wives lately been made unmistakably aware of the fact that apart from Jesus Christ and God the Father, they are to us the most precious relationship we enjoy in the whole world. Have we been about the business, husbands, of making sure that the preciousness of our wives is manifested, it's exalted, it's experienced, and it's enjoyed by them? Have you realized lately what it means for our wives to endeavor to live out verses 1 through 6?

It's an incredible calling, and I hope I explained that significantly last study. Have we realized what it is for them to walk into an environment which is totally against that to which they're attempting to fulfill? Submission to their husbands, bending their will. Do you realize what they're going through as they invest themselves to you and seek to work out the implications of those verses? And as they've done so, they've been bombarded by society, saying to them, you're weak. God's instruction is making you marginalized. You need to get out of that narrow belief. Get with the mainstream, get with us. We're the women of tomorrow, and our wives have been saying no. So they submit to God's purposes for them in their role of the wife. Just understand that they are voluntarily putting themselves in a very vulnerable position. I believe that's what Peter is saying next here as he goes on. Where he says, give them honor as to the weaker vessel. Give them honor as to the weaker vessel. Now what do you think are the two most important letters in that phrase? The weaker vessel. If you're going through this and you're going to circle two letters, two letters that are absolutely crucial in understanding that phrase, what are they? I'll tell you what they are. They are the ER at the end of the word weak. Weak-er. It doesn't say weak partner. We often read it that way, though. You know, I'm the strong guy, I'm the husband, and they are the weak partner. You know, it's not what it says. Peter had already told us in this letter that we're all weak. Humanity is weak. Peter earlier in the letter, he talks about flowers in the field, grass withers, flowers fall, humanity is weak. We all share in this weakness. Husband and wives. And so the recognition of the wives' greater weakness is not derogatory. It's not in any way implying inferiority. And when we meet the opposition, those ladies out there that say to us, 1 Peter 3, verse 7, and all the counterparts are suggesting that a woman is a doormat or a woman is this or that, we have to know our Bibles, guys. We have to know our Bibles, and we have to say, no, that's not correct. You don't understand. Let me explain something to you. So let's make sure we get this down about this phrase, weaker vessel. Now, while the physical factor in this passage has been the traditional explanation, I wonder if there's some other possibility in explaining this. Because we know the fact is that our wives are not weaker in so many ways. They're not weaker mentally. They're not weaker morally. They are equal before God. So in what way are they weaker than us?

Is it just that they can't carry as many bricks up a ladder? Is it just that? Maybe. Maybe that's all it is, is simply an acknowledgment of physical constitution of the woman. But what about the possibility? I want you to consider this. What about the notion that what Peter's referring to here is he's referring to the unique position taken by the 1 Peter 3, 1 through 6 wife.

I.e., the wife, in assuming her God-given role, has accepted a position of submission in the family, and therefore it's a position of vulnerability, and therefore a position of potential weakness. So Peter writes to the husband and says, your wife, because she wants to be a wife God's way, has put herself voluntarily in a vulnerable position in her role. Therefore make sure you understand that. You can't exploit her.

Don't take advantage of that. You have to value her as precious. You need to honor her as she voluntarily puts herself in submission to you and thusly puts herself in a position of potential weakness. Again, do we realize what it takes for them and the incredible challenge that comes with them assuming this role and them bending their will to you?

If you do, if you get this, if you get this, then you will make sure to realize how much affirmation, affection, support, encouragement that they need to know just how precious they are because if we don't give them that, where else will they get it from?

Why is there a decline in women in the marriage bond? Why has that decline been increasing in an alarming weight? I'll tell you why it is, guys, because we're not doing our job. We're doing a job hours and hours a week, but we're not doing the job. Here comes Mr. X. He walks in the door. He opens the back door to the garage. It's late. He's tired. He's talked out. He turns to the spot where the mail is, where he likes it, discovers it's not there. Without saying anything else to his wife, he says, where's the mail?

That's a nice greeting. He waits for his meal to be served, which, of course, he'll eat alone because this is the 17th time in a row that he hasn't eaten with his family. He grabs the control to the television, flops down, reading half the mail, watching 16 channels on the television until he slips off to bed. Just know, guys, the interesting thing is that when you turn to Scripture and you turn to what husbands are told to do concerning their wives, none of the verbs that we've bought into are there.

Nowhere will you find that the husbands are told to rule the wives, or to command the wives, or to order the wives. What is husbands told to do with their wives? Love them. Love them. Let them know how precious they are. In too many cases, there has been a wholesale abdication of this instruction. No meaningful communication, no tenderness, no understanding, no sweetness, and, on the part of the wives, no response, and it's no wonder.

He thinks he can go 30 days without any meaningful conversation, and somehow, then, the wife is going to be supremely interested in showing him affection, and when she's not, somehow he's surprised. Now, in coming to these scriptures and speaking of this preciousness and speaking of love and loving your wives, we want to belabor this a little bit because this is, guys and husbands, the cornerstone of your instruction to your wives, the cornerstone of the husband's rule.

Love them. You look throughout the Bible and you will see this instruction, but it's no more clear than given by the Apostle Paul in a particular portion of his letter in Ephesians 5. Let's turn there now, if you will. Ephesians 5, because again, we want to belabor this particular love instruction, showing them that they're precious to us, this love instruction given to the husband.

Ephesians 5, it is the cornerstone. Love is the foundation of the instruction to the husband's. I think Paul knew that, and he knows that if the husbands don't grasp this, then everything will crumble. So he wants to just raise the instruction to the height here, the highest level. So Ephesians 5, let's see here what Paul says is what Peter was referring to, treating our wives with preciousness in the height of love we are to show them.

Here it is. Here's the pinnacle, husbands. Ephesians 5, verses 25 through 30. Ephesians 5, verse 25, husbands. Love your wives. How? Just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish, to husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies.

He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. We are. Let's stop there. So this, of course, considerably ratchets up the implication, the imperative. So we could ask, in reading this passage, where are we husbands?

Where are we in fulfilling this pattern outlined in this passage? Where are the husbands reaching for these heights? And I say, you hear me say, we and us, this instruction lands on me. It hits my heart quite strikingly. And you may be, like me, quite disturbed as we look at ourselves in this reflection of God's Word and what stems from what Christ did and is a love for the church.

So how are we to love our wives? I think we notice three things in this passage here. Three types of love that Christ displayed that we are to display to our wives. Three things. Three types of love. The first being a sacrificial love.

The first is sacrificial love. I think that's quite clear there in verse 25. Verse 25 again, it says, husbands, love your wives. This is Christ, also loved the church and gave himself for her. So every time the husband focuses in on what he's not getting out of his marriage, you can be sure he doesn't get this verse. Every time I focus in on this, I'm guilty of this. What am I not getting from my wife? You can be sure I have lost understanding of this verse. This sacrificial love. This kind of love.

This kind of love, husbands, is a responsibility where you don't look at what you're receiving. Why? It's a sacrificial love. This kind of love. Sacrificial love. It gives, first and foremost, gives. This kind of love gives irrespective of the cost. This kind of love gives, irrespective of the response. This kind of love gives to the point of sacrifice. The embodiment of this kind of love, if you want to really have a phrase to attach to it so you can remember, while we were still sinners. That's the embodiment of this. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Irrespective of the cost. Irrespective of the response. Christ died for us prior to our response, didn't He? If we're to love our wives sacrificially, you have to set aside everything of yourself. Every bit of it. So this love, this kind of love, sacrificial love, does not mean it's not necessarily associated with buying our wife a new dress or taking her out for dinner. Now those things are good. We need to do those things. But we have to understand this. We can't look at our wives and see she's depressed and say, here's a gift. Or let's go out to dinner. That'll solve things. They probably don't want to go out to dinner. They probably want a whole bunch of other things than going out to dinner or a new dress. But some of us, and I say us, are so blind we're locked into certain blindness that we don't even know what they need. And worse is we don't ask.

Which indicates a lack of caring. Don't even ask. Husbands, when is the last time you did something that was a complete sacrifice for your wife? A true sacrifice. Where you take the time, opportunity, the emotion, the tenderness, whatever it is, and you offer it to her. When's the last time? What will it take for us to give a love like this to our wives? It'll mean that she takes priority over all responsibilities. You understand, other than Jesus Christ and God the Father. Other than that, priority over everything. Well, what about my business? What about other factors? What about them? What about them? Do you think God gave you your wife, picked her out, gave her to you as a gift for you then to go off hours and hours and hours of the day, only to come home and ignore her? Some of us are running away from our wives and we haven't even left the home. We're sitting right next to them, but we're absent. We're not there. And if you look into this, what you will find is very often love has been replaced with management. Some of you guys will know what I mean, and some of you women, wives will know what I mean. Love has been replaced with management. We have a bunch of managers, not loving leaders, loving husbands. Where the manager thinks I can keep things in line, call out a few orders here and there, and things will just keep rolling along. Business will go along as usual. As I was thinking about that, you realize, wow, sometimes I'm carrying on things that's generational. What I saw maybe with my dad, or maybe what I saw as he treats my mom, am I carrying those things on? Those are the things we see and how our father treated our mother and we're passing them on. And we've got to break that stronghold, because we do not want to pass these on to our young ones in church. We don't want to pass this on to our children, our grandchildren, our sons or grandsons. Break that mold. Break that stronghold. They see it. They're learning from it. So it's a sacrificial love, regardless of cost, regardless of response, wholesale sacrifice. Paul continues here in expanding the husband's role in this second type of love now introduced to us. So if the first was sacrificial, the next one, the type of love, is purposeful. Purposeful love. You'll see that in verses 26 and 27 here. Purposeful love. Verse 26 and 27. So husbands, love your wives, and there in verse 25, as Christ loved the church, gave Himself for her. Verse 26, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the Word. That He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she should be holy and without blemish.

So what does this tell us? Very powerful impact here. It tells us that Christ loved the church for a distinct purpose in mind. I wonder how many of us husbands have this distinct purpose every morning when we get up. Is your distinct purpose, verse 26, as Christ was, His purpose, to love her in order to sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the Word. Present her to Himself as a glorious church. Present her glorious, without spot, wrinkle, holy, unblemished. So Christ's love was her purposeful love in this way. So our wives can't approach this in a half-hearted or half-hazard way. Sometimes we'll plan out all these other management type of things. We fall into this, guys. We're managing all these things. We spend time. We've got all these lists. We've got all these projects. Nowhere is there a project or a list that says, Make my wife glorious. Make my wife glorious today. A little bit closer to glorious today. And here's my plan. Here's my outline and how to do that. I'm going to wash her with the washing of the Word. Graceful love, thought, prayer, work, perseverance toward her, purpose, presenting her glorious. How do you present her glorious? Well, I think he indicates that. It's a washing of the Word. Are we sitting down with them and opening this up? Let's look. Let's look together. Let's be washed together. Also, you see here? How do you present her glorious? Well, one way, another way is prayer. Do you pray for your wives in this way, husbands? It's one of your chief prayers that, O Father, I pray that you make her who you see her to be. Praying that God makes her and helps her and you help her be all that God intends for her to be. Make her glorious, Father.

It's your love towards her purposeful. Because one day she is going to stand before God and on that day she's not going to hold your hand. You want her to stand glorious.

It's all your heart and all your mind. That's your whole purpose in life. I want to prepare her as glorious so that when she stands, she might stand as a beautiful bride on that day. I'll move my plans, I'll move my times, I'll move my considerations. Bring my influence upon her the best I can that she might be the best bride for Jesus Christ. So, Paul introduces sacrificial love, purposeful love, and now the third, indivisible love. Paul introduces indivisible love to us in verse 28. You'll see an indivisible love. Verse 28, so husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

So indivisible, one body, you and your wife. When you read this, it's not the husband standing in the mirror with talcum, loving his body. It's not that. He looks after himself, so he should look after his wife. It's much deeper. If you look at this, Christ is the head of the church. The husband is the head of the wife. The husband is the head of the wife. So the husband and the wife are actually one body.

The husband and the wife are actually one body. One can't exist without the other. So he can't not love his wife if he loves himself because she is himself. I wonder if you view her that way. She is myself. She's part of me. One body. And the head is to love the body. And Paul finishes here in verse 29 through 33.

For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it. He says, the Lord does the church. Verse 30, For we are members of his body, and of his flesh, and of his bones. You feel your wife in that way? She's my flesh. She's part of my bones. For this reason a man should leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife. The two shall become one flesh. Are you one flesh? This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Paul is very helpful in these three aspects of love. Sacrificial, purposeful, indivisible. Very helpful. I wanted to belabor that a little bit here. Let's go back to 1 Peter 3, if you will, in our scripture that we begin with. 1 Peter 3 and verse 7. We'll make our way back and pick up at the middle of verse 7 here. Now Paul has given us a good foundation of the preciousness that Peter speaks of. He moves on in his discussion a little bit here.

So verse 7 again. 1 Peter 3 verse 7. Husbands likewise dwell with them in understanding, giving honor to the wife as the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers might not be hindered. There's a lot there in those verses. So Peter finishes here. Heirs together. We spoke about that last study. You as the husband and the wife, you stand equal before God. Your heirs together, the same gracious gift from God, is to both of you, joint heirs. You believe in the same Savior. You're redeemed with the same sacrifice, same grace.

Look forward to the same destiny. I think I might have hit something here. I'll be careful with my gestures. I get flailing sometimes. But you'll notice here, in this final phrase here of Peter, it really gives the full dimension of all of this. Why is all of this ultimately important to you husbands? Why is this ultimately important to us? Notice what it doesn't say. It doesn't say that we'll have a happy family, although that is absolutely a byproduct. You will be happy.

There will be an inner joy if you fulfill your role here. But it's interesting. It doesn't say it is to create happiness alone. But what is the overarching reason that you husbands should fulfill your role? Notice what it says. This is important. The ultimate reason you are to fulfill this role in relation to what God has instructed is so that nothing hinder your prayers.

In other words, your domestic relationship with your wife has a profound impact on your specific personal relationship with God. So if you need any other reason, here it is. If your relationship with your wife is wrong, then the windows of heaven will be closed to you. That's impactful, isn't it? In other words, our relationship with God, it will never be right if our relationship with our wives are wrong.

So that your prayers might not be hindered so that they won't stop at the ceiling. It's a very important thing to realize, if anything else. Speaking of prayers here, brings up a good note. Husbands, when is the last time we have led our wives in prayers? If you're a husband, you have a particular concern, maybe, in your marriage. Perhaps you're burdened. There's a little bit of feeling of hopelessness that have come in, something that needs to be fixed. When is the last time we took our wives by their hand and knelt down with her and led her to the throne of grace in prayer?

Often, we husbands, I'm guilty of this. We go everywhere else to everyone else and yet have neglected to come to God the One to whom has the most power to help us.

We'll give us this grace, a place where we'll find mercy and forgiveness. And I believe sometimes we may be hesitant to do this because we will often see where we're lacking. When we approach this with our wives, God will make it known.

By ending here with the husbands and this instruction in this way, it is so important that we bring our issues to this throne of grace. It's where we'll find mercy and forgiveness if we've had some kind of failings in this area. If a marriage needs healing, first and foremost, husbands, focus on the imperative God has given you. If a marriage needs healing, often the temptation is to focus on the other person's imperative.

But she's not submitting to me. Wrong focus. We talked about this a little bit in the women's, the wives' focus. Don't worry about her imperative. That's between her and God. You can't fulfill her imperative for her. You cannot make her fulfill her role of bending her will and this submissive imperative. We won't go over that again. That's between her and God. Rather, husbands, focus on your imperative. Love your wives. Love your wives. And if she is not being a godly wife, that's between her and God.

You can't fix that. Put that in God's hands. And you put it in God's hands by fulfilling your imperative with no shortcuts. You've placed it in God's hands by fulfilling your obligation. Then you can rest. Well, husbands, I'll leave it there. I encourage you to think on these things.

And speaking of prayer, go to God tonight in prayer. In the mirror of this scripture, as Peter ends with prayer, go to God. Ask for Him to show you your gaps. There, ask for forgiveness. You will be going to a Father who is full of mercy. Don't feel bogged down by it, by all these implications. Yesterday was yesterday. That's the beautiful thing about God. You can come and ask for repentance. You can stand up knowing that you're forgiven. You can go forward. Today is a new day. I want to be the man.

I want to be the husband that you want me to be, Father. When you begin to fulfill your role at these very heights, you can imagine the impact it'll make. Your sons, your grandsons will see this. The world will see it. They will get a sense of the wonder of the beauty of Jesus Christ's love to His bride. Let me finish with what I believe is one of the most loveliest stories I've found that displays this kind of love and this kind of precious feeling and this honor that the husband is to share with the wives.

I think it really is a good place to summarize all we've read today. These are words written by a surgeon following a surgery that he had done on a young wife. And a young husband is there. And again, I think it just shows that the love and the preciousness and the honor that we feel for our wives, and I know we do. So with this short story, we'll conclude. The short story is called The Kiss by Richard Selzer. I stand by the bed where the young woman lies. Her face, post-operative, her mouth twisted and palsy. A tiny twig of her facial nerve, the one that the muscles of her mouth have been severed.

So she will thus from now on. The surgeon had followed, with religious fervor, the curve of her flesh. I promise you that. Nevertheless, to remove the tumor from her cheek, I had to cut the little nerve. Her young husband is in the room. He stands on the opposite side of the bed. And together they seem to dwell in the evening lamplight, isolated from me, private. Who are they? I ask myself.

He in this wry mouth I have made, who gaze at each other and touch each other so generously. Will my mouth always be like this? She asks. Yes, I say, it will be, because the nerve was cut. She nods and is silent. But the young man smiles. I like it, he says. It's kind of cute. All at once I know who he is, and I understand. And I lower my gaze. One is not bold in an encounter such as this.

Unmindful, he bends to kiss her crooked mouth. And I am so close I can see how he twists his own lips to accommodate hers, to show her that their kiss still works. I think it's a wonderful story. I think it really sums up husbands.

Just know this precious gift that God has given to us. Thank God tonight for her. Let's go forward with a renewed commitment to love your wife.