Being a Peacemaker

A hydro-electrical dam can be one of the most beneficial construction projects that man can build. It generates electricity for thousands, creates a reservoir of water to water crops that feed thousands, and it makes a lake that creates and provides recreation for countless thousands. Surrounded by some of the most beautiful scenery in the world, in 1972, the Bureau of Reclamation began construction on the Teton Dam. It was a risky project, but this dam was supposed to become the greatest dam ever built, surpassing the famous Hoover Dam.

But the subsoil wasn't stable, where they wanted to build it. And it wasn't that they couldn't build it there, it was that they needed to be careful when they built it there. The subsoil wasn't stable, and it was in an earthquake area, but they pushed forward. They started to build the dam, and they built the earthen foundation to it, and the water started to back up, and back up, and back up.

But the power of the water began to break through, and things started to go horribly wrong. Before the foundation of the dam was complete, water began seeping under the foundation into the subsoil, and then water began piping through the earthen foundation dam, creating damp spots on the other side, on the downstream side, weakening the structure of the dam. High-pressure springs began erupting underground, from underground, thousands of feet downstream from the dam. And then those wet spots in the dam started to become holes.

And by 1976, the Earthen Dam Foundation gave way, and I think it was 30 billion gallons of water, gave way and destroyed everything in its path. Two towns were destroyed in Idaho, and 11 people were killed. Critics say that the Bureau of Reclamation moved too quickly in constructing this dam. They didn't go through enough preparation for the dam in that particular location. It wasn't that they couldn't build a dam there, it's that they needed to be careful to build the dam there, and they rushed it, and they blew it, and disaster happened.

You know, brethren, they didn't show enough respect for the power of water. Relationships require respect also, and a certain amount of preparation and effort go into making a relationship successful. And even more than a hydroelectric dam, good relationships can give great benefit to mankind, to you and me. But when those rules of relationships are not followed, the relationships crumble, and strife destroys people's lives. Solomon compared human arguments to the breaking of a dam in Proverbs 17, verse 14. He says, Proverbs 17, verse 14, The beginning of strife is like releasing of water.

Therefore, stop contention before the quarrel starts. Human relationships are like a dam. If you're careful and you prepare them, the benefit is incalculable. And if you're careless and you rush things and you don't prepare yourself, disaster is imminent. But a Christian is supposed to be different. Someone who agrees to give their life to Jesus Christ is required to have a certain title placed on them. The title of peacemaker. And it's not an option. It's not an elective that we can choose to learn or not learn. This is a prerequisite requirement for Christianity. Who will be in the kingdom?

Who will be called a Son of God? Do you remember the Sermon on the Mount? Matthew 5, verse 9. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God. You know what that implies? That implies that if you are not a peacemaker, you will not be called a Son of God.

Blessed are we if we are a peacemaker, which means cursed are we if we are not. So what I want to do today is I want to walk through some basics. Why basics? A lot of us have been in the church for decades. We need more advanced topics. Why would we go through the basics?

Because the dams break all the time, and the strife goes gushing through, not only destroying our lives, but many other people who are close to us who get caught up in the past of all of that strife. And, brethren, we need to go back time and time again and look at the basic keys of being a peacemaker. How to avoid strife in your life? Do you think you're an advanced Christian?

Have you had an argument with somebody recently? Because if you have, this sermon is for you. Any relationship, brethren, requires certain basic fundamental keys. Preparation, preparing yourself for that relationship, just like preparing the ground to build a dam. To hold back the water, the pressure that will undoubtedly build up when there's a relationship between two or more people.

There is great benefit, yes, but there is always great pressure. The first key in any human relationship, fundamental, most basic starting point to being a peacemaker, point number one, humility. You can't have human relationship, a peaceful human relationship, without the ability to put other people above yourself.

Conflict will always happen when two people get together and nobody yields. Humility is the basic starting point, the capstone, the keystone of the foundation for starting a human relationship. When just one person shows humility, usually, not always, but usually people get along, just one of you shows humility and that person receives the reward.

Humility allows us to put the needs of somebody else over ourselves. Philippians 2, verses 3 and 4. Let nothing, nothing. What's not included in nothing? Let nothing be done through selfish ambition. It doesn't mean you can't take care of your own needs. What the Apostle Paul is saying to the people in Philippi is make sure you're not selfish about it. If somebody else has a need, first take care of that need, then take care of your need. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition. Nothing. That includes everything we do. That's why it's the starting point for human relationships.

But in lowliness of mind, it requires humility. Let each esteem others better than himself. You can take care of your own needs. When you're hungry, you will be fed. God will make sure of it. You need to become like God and make sure others are fed. Make sure their needs are taken care of. We spend far too much time, even Christians, even long-time Christians, far too much time, taking care of our own desires, our own needs, our own wants. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests. You see, it's not wrong to look out for your interests, just not only your own interests.

You have desires, you have goals, you have dreams. Maybe you want to go to Hawaii and you've never gone. That's okay! Make sure your family has food first. Make sure their needs are taken care of. In fact, if your husband or wife would rather go to Europe first, put that first. Wow does that relieve tension in a relationship. Wow! You want to go to Hawaii and I want to go to Scotland and we're going to go to Scotland first?

That's amazing! Let each of you not look out only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Peter goes along with what Paul said exactly. You can pull all of these principles out of what we call the Old Testament, the Law and the Prophet Scriptures. This has been the same message from God to us since the beginning of time.

Peter pulls it out in 1 Peter chapter 5, continues what Jesus Christ started on the Sermon on the Mount. Blessed are the peacemakers. And then Peter, who was taught directly by Jesus Christ in 1 Peter chapter 5 and verse 5, says, Likewise, younger people submit yourselves to your elders. And that word submit means more, so much more than just snapping your heels and standing at attention and saluting. That's not submitting. That's outward compliance. Submitting is cooperating from the heart. Okay, so now that we know that, likewise, younger people cooperate from the heart to your elders. Yes, all of you be cooperative from the heart, submissive to one another. How?

And be clothed with humility. Humility is the starting point for human relationships. It's the foundation, the bedrock. You have it, and you have good relationships. You don't have it, the dam will break. Peter continues on that God gets involved in this. For God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. When we look out for our needs, we ruin relationships. When we look out for the needs of others, relationships tend to be good.

In other words, selfishness leads to strife. Humility leads to taking care of other people's needs, making other people feel loved, and usually, not always, but usually receiving love back in return. We'll talk about what happens when you don't receive love back in return. In fact, Sam brought that out in the sermonette today. In Colossians. Great, great point he made there in Colossians about doing it unto Christ. Matthew 7, verse 12. Still in the Sermon on the Mount, by the way. In Matthew 7, Jesus Christ continues on, and he says, The basic underlying principle of humility. Take care of other people's needs first. You know, you want to be loved, you want to have friends, you don't want to be alone, and feel alone, even in the middle of a crowd.

Have you ever just felt alone? Proverbs, chapter 18, verse 24. Proverbs, chapter 18, and verse 24. Have humility to move yourself out of the picture and start taking care of the other person's needs. And watch what happens in return. Proverbs 18, 24. A man who has friends must himself be friendly. Hey, guess what Solomon says? They need to have a friend too. Be friendly, be welcoming. You don't have to be an extrovert to be friendly. You do have to be welcoming. If you want to be welcomed by other people, hi, it's good to see you. Welcome other people, and you will receive welcome in return.

Basic principle. Does it happen every single time? No. Some people are just grumps. Some people are just cranky. You welcome them, and they're like, rargh! You know, you're never going to receive friendliness from that person. But it takes a certain amount of humility to put the needs of others first, even when it comes to making a friend. If somebody walks by you, you may not be an extrovert, but be happy to see them.

Welcome them. And they will welcome you most of the time. If you want to have a friend, be friendly. If you want something done to you, do it to somebody else first. Provide for the needs of others. Use the gifts that God gave you to serve other people. Let's build on these two scriptures we just read in Matthew 7 and Proverbs 18, 24. You know, God gave you a certain gift. He bent you in a particular way, and it's fairly unique. Billions of people on the planet, there's one you. And you have certain gifts. You may be a gift giver. Give to other people. Think of them. Give them gifts.

They may not even be gift givers. You may not get a gift in return. You'll get their gift back in return, especially if they're not your spouse. Now, if it's your spouse and you know that they love gifts, and you're not particularly a gift giver, you need to take care of your spouse and become a gift giver. But what if it's just somebody you want to get to know? How do you start the relationship with your gifts that God gave you? Use them. Maybe you're an encourager. Everybody needs an encouraging word. Sometimes some people need it more than others. But everybody needs it. Maybe you can just see the good in everything.

Maybe you have that big picture. You know things are going to work out, even when things are dark and dreary. And you can just encourage people. Use it. That's how you're bent. That's what God gave you. Maybe you're just a person who's always there when somebody needs a friend. There you are. Make the effort to be there with people. You're that person. You're just the person who's there. You spend time with people. And you don't particularly have that perfect thing to say.

You don't know what to say all the time. It's not your gift. But just being there. Just your presence. Your company. Your concern. Picks another person up. And that's the gift that God gave you. You want to have friends? Be friendly. You want something done to you? Do it to other people. Well, what do you do? Well, you give what you have. You don't give what you don't have. Maybe you're just the kind of person that gets stuff done. You're the service-oriented person. You're going to help people out. You're the tinkerer. The fixer. Be the fixer. Fix stuff for people.

I caution you. Ask them first. They may not want that antique table fixed. It may be more valuable than the condition it's in. But be helpful. It's your gift. You're the fixer. You're the guy that comes in or the gal that comes in and makes things right. You're not an encourager. You're not a gift-giver. You're not particularly good at spending time with people. But you can fix stuff.

Be the fixer. That's your gift. You want to have friends? Be friendly. You know, maybe you're just none of those things. Maybe you're just the person some people call touchy-feely. Right? You know when to give a hug. You know when to give a pat on the back. That's just you. Be you. Be careful with the touch. But be you. And just use the gifts that God gave you. You want something done to you? Do it to other people. Humility, putting other people's needs before your own, is the foundation to building that relationship dam that holds the tension in and gives such benefit to other people.

Basic stuff, I know. If you've been in the church before, you've probably heard, you know, if you've been in the church more than a decade, you've probably heard ten sermons on humility. Four decades, forty sermons on humility. Forty sermons on being a peacemaker. You've heard a whole series on becoming a peacemaker. And yet we still have conflict. We still bicker in fights. Oh, that person, that so-and-so.

Rawr, rawr, rawr. Humility. Don't forget it. That's where we start. That's what holds the tension in, is putting the needs of others first. But there's another key. Humility is only the starting point, and if that's all you've got, you're actually very unskilled in human relationships. You need to add to that humility something else.

In a word, the best English word that I can think of is to be gentle. Gentleness is like a salve that soothes the most painful wound. It doesn't soothe instantly everything, but it does start the healing process. All human relationships have conflict. That's not a condemnation. It does not mean you're not a Christian if you have conflict. But how to deal with conflict does determine whether or not you are or are not a Christian.

In Proverbs 16, verse 24, Solomon introduces this concept of being gentle. Mostly, it comes from our mouth, our words. Proverbs 16, verse 24, Pleasant words are like a honeycomb. The Isak's had bees this year, and so they gave us some honey with the honeycomb in it. I love that. You just cut a little piece out, and it's all waxy and full with that gooey honey, and you chew on it like candy. Pretty soon, all the honey just goes away.

You've already swallowed it down, and you're just left with a wad of wax in your mouth. You can chew that forever. A lot of people spit that out, because they hate that. I love it. I love to just sit there and chew on that, and chew, and chew, and chew. Sometimes, I'll mix some bread in it, and mix it up, and just swallow it down. Because I actually like that. Most people are looking at me like, you're so gross.

I know! Solomon wasn't saying you had to chew honeycomb. He was actually talking about the sweetness inside it. Pleasant words are like a honeycomb. Like your favorite pound cake. Oh, like that chocolate donut. That's what pleasant words are like. That's the picture that Solomon is trying to develop here in your mind. There's this bakery outside 1604 near 281. They make the best bundt cakes. They're so moist and so lovely. And they have all these really nice flavors.

It's not just plain old bundt cake. There's chocolate, chocolate on top of chocolate with raspberry goo inside. It's just lovely. That's what words, pleasant words are like. Like a honeycomb, something sweet. Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones. Your words can actually heal other people, heal human relationships. It's like a salve. Philippians 4 and 5.

Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. In other words, that's quite a statement. Let your gentleness be known to all men. Because Jesus Christ is coming, and this is a requirement. This is not an option. It's not just an elective. You can choose or not choose. The Lord is at hand. Let your gentleness be known among all men. How well do we do in the gentleness department?

All kinds of things in life give us stress. Health issues, people issues, job issues, money issues, car issues, all kinds of issues. It just builds up and builds up and builds up like water behind a dam. We need to maintain that dam, and we need to let off that pressure. How do we let off that pressure? Gentleness. And what do we usually do? The opposite. We get harsh. We get mean.

We get loud. Oh, and then we apologize. But we have just cracked the dam. And if you let that crack go too wide, the dam will break. And you're not the only one who'll get hurt. Everyone in its path will be wiped out. Why? Because you didn't maintain the dam. Humility is the start.

Gentleness is the sad. Be gentle. It's a responsibility. This may be basic, fundamental stuff, but I guarantee, brethren, we don't have this down 100% yet. And we need to. We need to be gentle. As I boom over the audience. Be gentle. No. All right. Women. I'll speak to you first, because I have much less to say to you. Because a lot of the advice that you need to get, you need to get from older women who are gentle. Now, not older cantankerous women. We love you too. But you need to get your advice from older women. But there are some things that do need to be stated. 1 Peter 3, verses 3-4.

1 Peter 3-4. And I care about you very much, and I love you very much. And I will say this to you boldly for your benefit. Even if you don't like me afterwards. If you get this, your life will be so much better than if you don't get this. 1 Peter 3, verse 3. Do not let your adornment be merely outward. Merely outward. I want to stop there. You read in the prophecies how God is going to bring ancient Israel back and adorn her. And she is dressed to the nines. She is dressed like a queen. Peter is not saying dress frumpy and be plain and ugly.

He's not saying that. He's saying don't stop with your outward appearance. You know how to brush your hair. You know how to pick your clothes. In our modern society, do your makeup and your nails. Don't stop there is what Peter is saying. So some people read that and they think, oh, I can't adorn myself outwardly. It's not what Peter is saying. When God dresses his bride, he dresses her to the nines.

You want to dress up and be beautiful? Go for it. You should. Women are the glory of mankind. That's fine. But doesn't stop there. Arranging of the hair and wearing of gold and putting on a fine apparel doesn't stop there. Rather, let it be the hidden person of the heart with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. Precious. What's precious to you? What's precious to you? A baby? A baby's precious? How about a diamond? No, no, how about a big diamond?

Right? A rock that sits on that necklace or sits on that ring. Precious. That's what you're like to God when you're gentle and quiet. Ladies, my sisters, learn to shush. You have to learn to quiet the tongue.

Because women feel. In every situation, there's a feeling involved. And if there's a feeling involved, there's generally words associated with those feelings. And those words, if those feelings are negative, can be negative. If you're not feeling respectful of the other person, at that particular moment, your words can be disrespectful. And that will destroy your relationships. And you're responsible for that. God weighs your heart based on your mouth. Gentle and quiet spirit.

And your relationships, your life, will benefit. I have seen women so proud of these women. Their husbands were tyrants. And would embarrass them in church. Now, nobody here. I'm not thinking of anybody here. So if you're thinking, I am, stop. This is when I was a young man.

And their husbands would be absolute, overbearing tyrants. These women weren't... You know, some women, you see them, they're just beaten down and broken. But these women were not. They were strong. Headstrong. They had their own opinions. Their tyrant husband didn't give them their opinion. And yet they were quiet. And even when he made a fool out of himself in public, yes, dear. Now, I'm pretty sure that he got hot tongue and cold shoulder when he went home.

But she did not humiliate him in services. And he deserved it. Because she had a gentle and a quiet spirit. I have seen women call their children in a quiet voice, Come here. When there's all kinds of chaos going around. And the woman says, Now. Just like that. Come here, right now. And that child is there right now. Out of respect for the strength that is in gentleness.

Gentleness is not weakness. God does not want you to be weak. He does not want you to be a doormat. You are his daughter and you are beautiful and you are precious to him. So don't dishonor your father by being disrespectful, loud and obnoxious. And I won't go to all the proverbs that back that up. Enough said. With incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.

With very precious, is very precious in the sight of God. Okay, men. Being gentle is not just for women. Okay? It's for us too. Very much so. Who is going to be in the kingdom of God, assisting Jesus Christ at the great white throne judgment at the great harvest? Men who are gentle will be allowed to be alongside those women who were gentle. Any man who is not gentle, and we will get to that at the end of this sermon, will not be there.

That is how critical this particular item is in human relationships. Being gentle. Guys, this is a tough one. Suck it up. This is where we have to be. This is being a Christian. This is where the rubber meets the road.

You have to be loving and gentle. Look how Jesus is in Matthew 11 and verse 19. This is the king of kings and lord of lords. This is the one who will come back and defeat the army with a two-edged sword. Blood will be up to the horse's bridle. Jesus the Christ. And yet he's gentle. He's a king. He's a savior. He's a hero. And he's gentle. And when you talk to him, he doesn't yell at you. He doesn't scowl at you. He's not always the one looking down his nose at you. And we come across that way as men. We do. We come across that way as always scowling, always yelling, always judging. And it feels oppressive, especially from the women's point of view. It feels oppressive. Even when we're not trying to be oppressive, we can be. There are some skills that we need to have in human relationships.

Jesus said in Matthew 11, verse 29, Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. He combines the two things we've just talked about. Humility, putting other people's needs above your own, which he absolutely did. With gentleness. And when you serve other people, you don't do it harshly. You don't do it as the boss, but as the provider, the gentle caretaker. So, let's go to Titus chapter 3, guys. There's four points that we can work on as men. Titus chapter 3.

We'll just read verses 1 and 2. Let's read through it, and let's go through this point by point.

Titus chapter 3, verse 1, Okay, we're going to go out and do good work. Yeah, that's a guy thing to do. We're going to get some work done. Good work. How are we going to do it? Verse 2, Speak evil of no one.

Be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men. Mankind. That includes women. So, let's go through each one of these points, these four points in verse 2, and see how we are to gain these skills in relationships. Speak evil. The word is blasphemio in the Greek. To speak reproachfully, to rail at, to revile, to blaspheme.

To be evil spoken of, reviled, or railed at. That's from Thayer's Greek dictionary. Don't be judgmental, and constantly passing judgment on those people whom you have relationships with. Well, that's not my opinion. You're doing it wrong. No, that's not right. And everything that comes out of your mouth is some kind of condemnation. Can't you get it right? Why do I always have to? You ever said those things? Blasphemio, railing at other people. And it says to be peaceable, which means no brawlers. The word is amacho in the Greek. To be amacho.

To be not contentious. To abstain from fighting. In other words, be slow to raise your voice. Some of you are pretty good at this by nature. But most of us, at some point, raise our voice. Oh, I'm sorry I lost my temper, we say after the fact. Yeah, and you know what you did? You put a crack in the dam. And now you need to fix it. You need to fix that crack.

Be gentle. Do not raise your voice. Guys, it takes two to tango. If one of you makes a mistake getting out of control with anger, you know the other one can generally calm him down or calm her down. Either way it goes. It takes two to tango. All it takes is one of you to be gentle. And the tirade usually stops.

And you can get along, you can get about fixing the cracks in the dam.

Guys, a woman will try to explain her...my father explained this to me when I was first married.

A woman will try to explain how she feels.

And she will recall different incidents in the past that made her feel that very same way. So she will bring out a laundry list...I know I've told you this before, but you need to hear it again. She will bring out a laundry list of items in the past that you did to her that made her feel that one way.

Now, as men who are very single-track minded, we look at each one of those incidences in the past as an individual event. And we automatically think that we have to litigate or try or defend ourselves on each one of those. Well, in 1993 you did this. And then in 2003 you did this. And then in 2013 you did this. And now in 2015, almost 2016, you've done this. And what do we do, guys? We march all the way over to 1993 and we start arguing all over again. Well, first of all, you're holding a grudge. You're being such an ag. I can't believe you're saying, bringing up the past. You're dredging up old things. Back in 1993, this is what happened. And in 2003, I can't believe you brought that up because of this. And we litigate and we try every single incident.

You know what that does to her? Gentlemen, that makes her feel like you're saying, Yes, I hurt your feelings in 1993 and I'm justified in doing it. And I hurt your feelings in 2003 and I was justified then. And I hurt your feelings in 2013 and I was justified then. Because, guys, the only thing she's talking about is how she feels. One thing. And if you can pull that one thing out of all of those incidents that she brought up and address that, your argument's over. It takes two to tango. But sometimes she's not even arguing with you. She's not trying to be mean. She's not trying to be an ag. That's not what she's doing, guys. She's saying, today, December the 26th, 2015, you hurt my feelings. Focus on that one thing. You're single track minded, gentlemen. Focus in on the one thing she's actually talking about. Hard to do. I can sit here and explain it and not get it right. But that is what she's doing. She's saying, you hurt my feelings. And that feeling is attached to another incident that made her feel the same way, which is attached to another incident that made her feel the same way. And if only she could explain it to you. Remember, it happened in the past, and now it's happening again. And this is how it hurts my feeling. And you address the feeling. You have solved the problem. If you address the different incidents, you're justifying hurting her feelings. But to you, the guy, you think that she's accusing you and holding a grudge.

She's not a guy! Thankfully, that's not what she's doing. Peaceable, Paul said in Titus. Right? Not ready to fight. Not ready to argue. Search for the one thing that the other person is actually trying to get at, whether it's a guy or a girl, a man or a woman. And try to solve the problem. Don't stick your dukes up and defend yourself. Because as soon as your fists go up, the dam starts to crack. It takes two to tango, gentlemen. And we tend to get ourselves into fights because we tend to defend ourselves. Peaceable. So speak evil of no man, less femio. Don't be so judgmental. And don't raise your voice. And don't stick your dukes up. And don't be so ready to fight. Well, that's two things. What's the third? Well, to be gentle, he said. But in this particular Greek word, and I don't know how to pronounce it, and I'm not an expert in Greek, but theirs, Greek definition says, to be seemly or suitable, equitable, fair. Oh, to be fair. This particular word, gentle, means to be fair.

Because when you're a guy, you can dominate. And if you do, get your ire up. And you get angry, and you dominate. You will not likely be fair. And Paul is telling us, gentlemen, to rein it in and to be fair, equitable, and mild. The same rules that apply to your family had better apply to you. If you expect her to watch the budget, you better not be going out blowing all your money at a bar.

Right? If you're upset with her for buying a sweater, and you've already knocked back six beers at a bar, you've spent more than her, most likely, unless she's at those really expensive shops. And that's probably because you're not around, you're out drinking beer. Be fair! In fact, it goes a little bit farther than just being fair. You should actually put their needs above your own. This isn't just about husband and wife relationships, though. Gentlemen, being fair to other people will leave you vulnerable to being cheated at some times. Don't worry about it. God will pay you back. Your job is to march your way into the kingdom of God. Be fair. Be equitable. And then the fourth thing is showing humility to all men. And that word actually means be gentle. The word that translated gentle means to be fair. In this word actually means calm down.

The opposite of being severe. You know what, guys? Gents, my brothers, how we oftentimes blow. This one is with the scowl. We're constantly scowling. That has such a negative effect on our families.

Cheer up. Lighten up.

Allow a joke or two to be played on you.

And laugh at it. You're not all that in a bag of chips. It's funny. It's funny when you got that little piece of spinach caught in your tooth. It's funny. Laugh. Be gentle. Be happy. Don't scowl all the time. Especially in those times of stress, guys. You know, when we've just come out of watching Star Wars or Rocky or some movie. Oh, we're not scowling then. You know, we're happy. We're at a ballgame and our team won. We're happy then. What I'm talking about is during times of stress.

You are the leader of your family.

If you cave into stress, how's your family going to cope? Don't walk around with a scowl all the time. I know. Easier said than done. I know. I get that. But you're the leader. Cheer up. Cheer up. Don't scowl at your family and your friends and those people that you relate to constantly.

Cool off the aggression inside. Watch the scowl. Approach people with a mild attitude. It's just a part of being a strong leader. You want to command your family. You want to be like God. You want to obey God. Be gentle. How many of you have seen somebody who sinned against God like a teenager on a phone taking God's name in vain, or chewing bubblegum and taking God's name in vain, and all of a sudden a lightning bolt just comes out of nowhere and just fries him? Whoosh! You see that all the time, right? It happens all the time. Somebody just takes God's name in vain and, phew! God just strikes him down right there. And no, he doesn't. He doesn't do that, does he? We deserve it. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. And yet, you're all sitting here and none of you are singed. And we should take a lesson from that gentleman to be gentle. Cheer up a little bit. Lighten up.

What tears down relationships? Now, this is for all of us. What tears down relationships? Mostly, what I want to address today in the balance of the sermon is our words. Our words can be used to tear down human relationships. So, part one is humility. Part two is be gentle. Part three, watch your words. James chapter 3 and verse 6. James 3 and verse 6. And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity, lawlessness. The word iniquity is actually anomia. It doesn't just mean lawless. Like the wild, wild west, you know. Anomia actually means against law.

The tongue is actually opposed to being ruling, you know, under rule. It's not just that it's unruly. It will not be ruled. And it's full of it, James says. The tongue is a fire, a world of anomia, of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body and sets a fire to the course of nature. And it is set on fire by Gehenna. In other words, the end result, the final destruction. You know what leads more people into final destruction? Ah, the things we say. Our tongue.

For every kind of beast and bird and reptile and creature is tamed, and has been tamed by mankind. We can even cage sharks. I watch people get on great white sharks. I watch the show on Discovery Channel during Shark Week, where they take these big boats with these platforms, they put them down in the water, and then they get a speedboat, and they go catch a shark with a hook, and they drag him up. And guys literally jump in the water with the shark on this platform, and then they raise the platform up out of the water. And they complete control of this huge, great white shark. There's all these men, they're putting sensors in him, and checking his blood, and measuring him from nose to tail. Oh, and then they put the platform down, and they gently get him woken back up, and they hope he makes it, and swims off into the ocean. It's a shark, man! What are you doing? Oh, no problem. They're taming him. We got everything under control. Even a shark!

But no man, verse 8, can tame the tongue. Boy, howdy. It is unruly, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and we curse men, who have been made in the similitude, or image of God. Out of the same mouth precedes blessings and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not be so. I love that gentle ending he puts on that. He goes through and describes how horrible. He just says, you know what? It shouldn't be that way. And he leaves it at that. An eloquent statement. Proverbs 16, verse 28.

What kind of man will be in the kingdom? A righteous man. What kind of man will not be in the kingdom? A perverse man. How do you know a perverse man from a righteous man?

Proverbs 17, verse 9.

I'm sorry. 16, verse 28. Proverbs 16, verse 28. A perverse man sows strife.

And a whisperer separates the best of friends. One of the worst human mistakes that we make, and we will not be in the kingdom of God if we are like this, is to be a gossip. It tears people down.

Ladies and gentlemen, if we have a problem with somebody else, talk to that somebody else. Don't talk to everybody else, and turn them against that somebody else.

Proverbs 17, verse 9. He who covers a transgression seeks love, forgiveness. But he who repeats a matter separates friends. And there's a crack in the dam. And when the dam goes, everything downstream is washed away. What's downstream? Your life. Everybody you care about.

The end result, brethren? What is the end result?

I'm going to flip some pages here.

Maintaining good relationships is like maintaining a large dam. It starts with humility. That's the foundation, the capstone.

Putting others' needs above your own, but add to that gentleness. Women need to learn to be gentle and quiet. That is where your true beauty lies. Gentlemen, you need to learn to not be judgmental and condemning, but believe in other people. And say it.

Don't raise your voice. Women need that, too. Don't raise your voice. Guys, don't scowl. Don't walk around with a scowl on your face all the time. Lighten up. And you know what? You don't have to be right all the time, either. You just don't. You don't have to be right all the time. You can tell other people, you know, that's a good point. Why don't we do it that way? Ah, there's more than one way to skin a cat. We'll do it that way.

You don't have to be right all the time. And remember that words are the biggest tool in your relationship toolbox. Avoid gossip, and always, always remember to be gentle.

Sometimes there are people that only want strife. We didn't have time to go through it, but the Bible says to avoid those people. They're constantly arguing, but you know what, brethren? Be very slow, very slow, to label somebody a person that always wants strife. Be slow to label that grumpy person that's hard to get along with as someone who always wants strife. The Bible pretty much labels people that want strife, people that argue different religious beliefs. They're always trying to pull you away from God, and that's the problem.

If you don't get along with a particular person, but other people do get along with that person, start with yourself. I would say 90% of the time, start with yourself.

On the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said, "...blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the sons of God." Which means if we are not peacemakers, we are not the sons of God. Where does that all end? Well, Jesus Christ, one of His very first sermons was that Sermon on the Mount we went through today. One of His very last sermons was the Olivet Prophecy, just before He was crucified. He went up on the Mount of Olives, and He gave an end-time prophecy of when these things shall come to pass. And He summed it all up at the end of His ministry. And in chapter 25 of Matthew, and in verse, we'll read verses 31 through 40.

In the Olivet Prophecy, Jesus Christ tells us how He expects us to be. If we want to be there, if we want to be called the sons of God, we will be the peacemakers. We will be this kind of person. Matthew 25, verse 31. When the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the holy angels with Him, and He sits on the throne of His glory, all nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them one from another, as a shepherd divides the sheep from the goats. And He will set the sheep on His right hand and the goats on His left. We're just going to talk about the sheep today, because that's what we're supposed to be, is the sheep.

Verse 34. And then the King will say to those on the right hand, Come, you blessed of My Father. I hope that said about each and every one of us, Come, blessed of My Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you gave Me food. You didn't scowl at Me. You didn't send Me away. You didn't yell at Me. You didn't lose your cool, lose your temper, whatever words we use to make an excuse. You gave Me food. When I was thirsty, you gave Me drink. When I was a stranger, you took Me in. When I was naked, you clothed Me. When I was sick, you visited Me. When I was in prison, you came to Me. And the righteous will answer Him, saying, Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothed You? You know, we could say that. Lord, You died 2,000 years ago. We never even met You. When did we do that to You?

Or when did we see You sick or in prison and come to You? And the King will answer and say to them, Assuredly I say to You, inasmuch as You did it to one of these, the least of My brethren. Do you know what that means? Do you know what that means? It means in 2015 and 2016 that the San Antonio congregation of the United Church of God does not judge other people to be less than them. It's irrelevant who we help. We see a need, we fill the need. We see a need, we fill the need. Assuredly I say to You, inasmuch as You did it to one of the least of My brethren. You did it to Me. Who will be with Jesus Christ in the end? Who will stand on the Holy Hill? The peacemakers will. Those who tend to the relationship, damn. Gain relationship skills that Jesus Christ has. Learn them. Don't assume that we've been in the church for a teen however many years you've been in the church, and we don't need these skills. Because I get to hear all of the little fights and bickers that we have, and I get to experience all my little fights and bickers too. And I know we need to grow and become the peacemakers. So I want to leave you with this. Learn to patch the leaks before the dam breaks. Become a peacemaker.