The Ground Rules for Being a Peacemaker

Got a neat candle for my Yeti. A hydroelectric dam can be one of the most beneficial construction projects that a man can build. It generates electricity for thousands, creates a reservoir of water that can water crops and feed thousands. It can provide a huge, beautiful lake, usually in a very scenic area, that provides recreation for thousands. There's great benefit to it. Surrounded by some of the most beautiful scenery in the world, in 1972, the Bureau of Reclamation began construction on the Teton Dam. It was a risky project. This dam was supposed to be the greatest dam ever built, surpassing the famous Hoover Dam. But the subsoil wasn't stable where they wanted to build it, and it was in an earthquake area. But they pushed forward anyway. And actually, the engineers were right. They could have built on this area. It was suitable, but they would have had to have been very careful to build the dam here. The power of water can be breathtaking, unless it goes horribly wrong. Before the foundation of the dam was complete, the water began seeping under the foundation in the subsoil. Water also began piping through the earthen foundation of the dam, creating damp spots on the downstream side and weakening the structure of the dam. High pressure springs began erupting from underground, thousands of feet downstream. The waterspouts just started happening. So, that's a pretty good indicator you've got a problem. In 1976, the Earthen Dam Foundation gave way. Approximately 30 billion gallons of water went rushing downstream, destroying everything in its path. Two towns were destroyed, and 11 people were killed in Idaho. Critics say that the Bureau of Reclamation moved too quickly in construction of the dam. They didn't go through enough preparation in this dam for that particular location. They didn't show enough respect for the power of water. You know what, brethren? Relationships require a lot of respect, and a certain amount of preparation and effort in order for them to be successful. Even more than a hydraulic dam, a good relationship can have great benefit on mankind. But when the rules of relationships are not followed, relationships crumble, and the strife that flows out of that destroys people's lives. Not just your life, but everybody who's in the path. King Solomon, wise King Solomon, compared relationships to a water dam. In Proverbs 17 and verse 14, and I'm going to use this for the basis of our sermon today. Proverbs 17 and verse 14, the beginning of strife is like the releasing of water.

Therefore, stop contention before a quarrel starts. Because once the dam breaks, you're not going to stop the effects. You're not going to stop the damage. The time to stop the damage is before the dam breaks. Now, there's great benefit in taking the risk of having a relationship. Great benefit, as long as you tend to the dam.

A Christian is supposed to be different. We're supposed to be like God. We're supposed to be like our brother, Jesus Christ. And you know, Jesus Christ gave some sermons and some messages that a lot of people learn in what they call Sunday school, what we would call Sabbath school. But essentially, the lessons of Jesus Christ are used in children's lessons. And yet, they are some of the most profound, deep lessons we could ever learn if you'll just think about what He said and apply it in your life.

Why give this message? I look around, I see there are some people who are new in the faith, but there's a lot of you, in fact, most of you who have been in the church for decades, decades. Why give this kind of sermon? A relationship sermon? Because we all quarrel. I mean, come on! We all have our little nitpicky arguments, don't we? And we all break these rules. And you know what? We can't break these rules. You want to be in the Kingdom of God? You keep these rules. These are not options. They're not electives that you take in college. They're not a choice. They're a core requirement to be in the Kingdom. Why give a message like this? Because we don't have it down yet, and we need to. So what I want to do today is review some basic ground rules of being a peacemaker. You know, in one of Jesus' very first sermons, He goes up on a mountain and He sits down and He lists the Beatitudes. And we memorize those as children and never go back to them again. And yet they're so profound. And in Matthew 5, in verse 9, Jesus said, Blessed are the peacemakers. Now what's implied by that is cursed are those who are not peacemakers. Blessed are those who are peacemakers. For they shall be called the sons of God.

And by implication, if you are not a peacemaker, you will not be called a son of God. Who is called a son of God? A peacemaker. What basic skills are we supposed to have that we don't have enough of in order to be a peacemaker? What does it take to be a peacemaker? Can you go right off the top of your head and say, yeah, I know. And it's not fair if you heard the sermon this morning. So what are the basic skills, basic ground rules of being a peacemaker? Rule number one, the foundation, the starting point, the place to begin for being a peacemaker in any relationship. Husband, wife, parent, child, employer, employee. Number one rule. And getting along with other people is humility. Humility. Humility allows you to put the needs of somebody else in front of your own. And that is the essential ingredient, the starting point, to any successful relationship. Your needs come before mine. Mr. Armstrong used to call it give versus get. It's the beginning point of any relationship. Even if just one person in the relationship has true godly humility, people tend to get along. It's not a great relationship, but there's peace in that relationship. Even if just one of you has enough humility to put the needs of the other in front of your own. And you know what? That's the person that gets the reward in the end. That's the person that God rewards. You will be rewarded for that. Your needs will be met. Philippians chapter 2 and verse 3. We read this a lot. We need to read it in context. A beginning, a good relationship. Philippians chapter 2 and verse 3. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit. Nothing. Nothing. What's not included in nothing? Everything you do is included in this passage. Let nothing be done selfishly. Now does that mean that Paul is saying, don't take care of your own needs? No. We'll get to that in just a minute. What he's saying is, don't put your needs over somebody else's needs ever. Oh, I just need some me time right now. I just need to be centered.

When do you do that as a Christian when you have accepted the sacrifice of Jesus Christ?

Never. Ever. Let nothing do we get the impact of Paul's words there. Nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit. But in lowliness of mind, let each esteem others better than himself. Question. When do your needs get met? When can you get what you want, need, desire, whatever it may be? And the answer is all the time. All the time. Your needs can also be met. The Apostle Paul is not saying, go out there every day and be a martyr.

He's saying, go out there every day and be a loving, humble person who puts other people's needs first, and then you take care of your needs. And it's not that you don't take care of your needs. You do. If you like pistachio ice cream and everybody else hates it, just make sure they get their ice cream first. Then go get your scoop of pistachio. It's okay. Let's read on and we'll see that. Where Paul says in verse 4, let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. In other words, yeah, of course you can look out for your own needs. You know, God's not into self-mutilation. That doesn't do anything for God. He wants you to be taken care of. He wants you to be happy. But his main goal is for you and I to become like him. And he gives to us our needs, even when we stump on his law. And by living our lives in rebellion, take his name in vain every single day. And yet, we've had one of the best years of reign that we've ever had in Texas in a long time. And God sent the reign. You know, we still got the reign. We're okay, even though this has been one of the most amoral years in American history.

1 Peter chapter 5 and verse 5. 1 Peter 5 verse 5.

Likewise, you younger people submit yourselves to your elders. Now, that word submit doesn't mean outward obedience. It doesn't mean salute and say, yes sir, when you're talked to by someone who has a gray beard. That's not what it's talking about. It's talking about cooperation from the heart. Being cooperative. Being, you know, an amiable person from the inside. Yes, all of you be submissive, cooperative from the heart to one another, and be clothed with humility.

And God even gets involved in this process. God is watching whether or not we're humble. God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.

When we look out for the needs of others, relationships tend to be good, even if just one party does it. Selfishness, in other words, tending to your needs constantly, leads to strife, and not taking care of the other person that you're in a relationship with. Humility, taking care of the needs of others, is the foundation of a good relationship. In Matthew 7, now this is still the Sermon on the Mount. We started in the Sermon on the Mount in chapter 5. We moved to chapter 7. It's the same sermon, right? We're just towards the end of it now.

And in Matthew 7, verse 12, it says, This is the law and the prophets.

And in Proverbs 18 and verse 24, it says, This is part of humility.

Don't just sit around and go, Oh, I wish I had friends. These people are so nasty to me. I can just sit here in a crowd of a thousand people and nobody will talk to me.

Have some humility and be welcoming to them. If you want people to be welcoming to you, what Solomon says is, be welcoming to them. Jesus Christ said, if there's something you want people to do to you, Hey, try this one! Do it to them. In fact, initiate it and see if you don't have better relationships. You want to be liked, you want to be welcomed, be welcoming. Use the gifts that God gave you to serve others. We're all created differently. Each one, there's billions of people on the planet, and each one of us is unique. We have different talents, different likes, a different sense of humor, different tastes in music. I mean, we're incredibly unique people on the earth. It's amazing, but each one of us has a particular gift. My suggestion is, use the gift. Use it! Employ the gift that God gave you.

Give it to other people. That's exactly what Jesus Christ was saying at the end of the Sermon on the Mount. If there's something you would want people to do to you, do it to other people. It's part of humility. It's part of putting other people in front of you.

I wish people would give me a gift. Why, you're a gift giver, then.

So, give people gifts.

They won't even appreciate it as much as you, but you will build relationships. Because that's your gift. That's your bend. You're molded that way. You think of people when you're out in a store, and you're like, oh, this would be so good for them.

And you buy them a gift. And you give it to them.

Maybe you're not a gift giver. Maybe you never even think about that. And when somebody else gives you a gift, you're like, oh, okay, thank you. But...

I have a coffee cup. I really didn't need another coffee cup. And you're just not... You don't get it. You're just not a gift giver. Well, you have a different gift.

Accept the coffee cup with grace.

That that person is being a friend to you. But give back your gift.

Maybe you're an encourager. Maybe you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how dark the tunnel gets. You're the one person that says, ah, we're gonna make it. Keep walking. You can do it. You're the encourager.

Use your gift. If you want to be encouraged, go encourage other people.

This is the basis of building good relationships.

Maybe you're not a gift giver. Maybe you're not the encourager. Maybe you're just the person that's always there.

You know? And to some people, that might be annoying. But you know what? The person who's always there is of herself or himself a very encouraging person. You're the person who can be counted on. It's your gift! Oh, hey.

At least you're... you stuck around. At least you don't mind being with me. Thick or thin, no matter what it is. You're just the person who spends time with people. That's who you are. It's your gift.

Or maybe you're just the person that gets things done. Right? You don't want any of this gift nonsense. You don't want fluffy words of encouragement. You don't like spending time with people because you don't really like people. But boy, can you get... You're a handyman! You're a tinkerer! It's what you do! Do it for other people. Whatever you would want people to do for you, do it for other people. You know? If you think, Oh, sure, it would be nice if someone would just help me. Go help people! It's your gift. It's the way you're bent. It's the way you think.

Use the gifts that God gave you.

Maybe you're none of those things. Maybe you're just that touchy-feely person that knows when to give a hug, a pat on the back. You know? And that in and of itself. If you need a hug, if you need a pat on the back, give one. It's your gift. It's your bend. It's the way you are. It's the way God made you. All of those things are part of God. All of them. They're part of God. He is all of those things. And He bends each of us in a certain way and gives us a gift. And Jesus Christ said, the things that you want done for you, give it to other people. That's the foundation of starting a relationship. Humility. Putting other people's needs above your own.

With humility, the water pressure doesn't build up behind the dam.

Because other people are getting that relief. You're actually a relief to be around. You're actually somebody that people need to be with. Your employer. Your family. Your spouse. Your friends.

Because you put them first.

But that's not the whole thing. If you have that skill alone, you don't have enough.

It actually goes farther. We need more skill. Jesus Christ was perfect at this. Gave us great examples. And the men He taught, He also inspired to teach us. Great examples. How do you be a peacemaker? You know, blessed are the peacemakers, for they are the sons of God. Which means if we're not this, we're not the sons of God.

Starts with humility. But the second thing that we need to learn.

And we really need this one too. We need to sharpen our swords when it comes to this particular skill.

And that is to be gentle.

To be gentle.

All human relationships have conflict. That's no condemnation. That doesn't mean you're not a Christian. Oh, because you've gotten to a little tiff with somebody at church, or your spouse, or whoever, at work.

Okay? That's welcome to the human race.

How do you deal with that conflict?

That's what determines whether or not we're Christian.

Proverbs 16 and verse 24.

The key to gentleness is usually and almost always with our tongue.

It starts with the tongue. Proverbs 16 and verse 24.

Pleasant words are like a honeycomb.

Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.

Pleasant words are like... You know, we don't really eat honeycomb in our society today. I do. I love honeycomb. But honeycomb, you know, we buy food from the grocery store. We have it in packages. So you want to move this into modern, relatable, pleasant words are like...

The most lovely moist butt cake.

The most fresh, hot, jelly donut.

Right? Right? That perfect chocolate cake.

What's your favorite? Banana cream pie, coconut cream pie, wiggly jello. Whatever it is, that's what pleasant words are like. They're like the... Yeah. Ice cream, of course. Okay, forget ice cream.

The most pleasant dessert you can imagine.

That's what pleasant words are like.

They actually are the salve that heals the wounds that repairs the dam.

Gentle words actually keep the dam from breaking. And once the dam is broken, the damage is done.

How do you repair the dam? You're going to have damage. There's going to be stress fractures. There's going to be leaks. Little conflicts are going to pop up all over the place. How do you fix them? Gentle words.

You know, the Apostle Paul puts a really fine point on it in Philippians 4. Philippians 4 and 5. He says, let your gentleness be known to all men.

And then he says this, the Lord is at hand.

In other words, you don't have forever to learn this.

You learn this now because when you die or Jesus Christ returns, you're done. And we'll get to that at the end. And we'll get to that, what Jesus Christ says about that and what conclusion he draws at the end. But he says, let your gentleness be known to all men. This is not an option. The Apostle Paul is letting us, you know, being very plain spoken. This isn't an elective course that you take in college. This is the core requirement. So I want to try to tactfully address both men and women slightly differently.

I'll address a little bit more to the men than to the women because, you know what, ladies? What you need to do, according to the Apostle Paul, is talk to older women who are gentle and who have good relationships with others. That's how you learn how to be a gentle woman. You learn from the Scripture, and I'll go through a point, and I'll make a point, right? And that's about as far as I can go, because I'm not a woman.

So find older women who are gentle and learn from them. But there is something that Peter goes through that I want to go through. I would be negligent if I didn't bring this up. 1 Peter 3, verses 3 and 4. This is for the ladies.

1 Peter 3, verses 3 and 4.

Do not let your adornment be merely outward.

Now, a lot of people read this and say, Well, that means I need to dress like a frumpy frontier woman and not do my hair or my makeup. And Paul's not saying that, or Peter, sorry, is not saying that here at all. He's saying, Don't let it stop there, right? When God adorns his wife, Israel, when he brings her back and he has the wedding again, look at what she's dressed in. All right, she is dressed to the nine. She's got jewelry, she's got bling, right? She's got the best garments on, and that's the way you ladies dress. That's fine. Dress up. Be a woman. You, the female, are the glory of God. He's not saying, Be frumpy. He's saying, Don't stop there. Don't let your adornment be merely outward. Arranging of hair, wearing of gold, putting on fine apparel. All of that's enough. I mean, all of that's fine. It's not enough.

Verse 4. Rather, let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. To owe, to be quiet is the challenge that every female will face. You will. You face it. Why? Because you have feelings. And how do those feelings get expressed? Words.

And what if your feelings are bad feelings? Then you're going to have bad words. And what if you're not feeling very respectful right now? Then you're going to have disrespectful words. And the dam starts to crack. And the pressure starts to build up behind the dam.

And there's leaks everywhere. How do you fill in the cracks?

Be quiet.

Be quiet.

Don't be loud.

Be gentle. And be quiet.

Oh, that is so peaceful.

Yes, you can. Yes, you should. Because you are just as responsible to be a peacemaker and be by Jesus Christ's side as the men are. And that's as far as I'm going to go with women. You want the rest of the story? Seek out the gray heads.

For the men, I've got a lot to say to us.

Being gentle is not just for women.

Who is going to be assisting Jesus Christ at the Great White Throne Judgment? Who is going to be there by His side?

The macho?

You know we will, right?

Jesus Christ Himself is the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords. He's our Savior. He's a hero. When He comes back, He's going to wipe out an army with a double-edged sword that's going to leave blood up to the horse's bridle. John Wayne's got nothing on Jesus Christ, literally.

And yet, He's gentle.

He's tough, guys.

But if you're going to be with Him, you're going to be loving and you're going to be gentle. Look how He is in Matthew 11, verse 29. Matthew 11, verse 29. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart. If the King of Kings and Lord of Lords is lowly of heart, who are we to be so cocky, arrogant, absolutely disturbing at times, the way we behave? Like little spoiled brats still in our mommy's kitchen, instead of the adults, gentle and loving that we're supposed to be. What I want to do is I want to take four points from Titus chapter 3.

Four points that men we can work on to really improve how gentle we are, especially when we're dealing with the ladies, but with everybody. It's not that these points don't apply to women, but men, we really need to work on them. Titus chapter 3, verses 1 and 2. Paul starts out in the letter to Titus and he says, remind them to be subject to rulers and authorities to obey and be ready for every good work. All right, that part we get, right? We're ready for good work. We'll work, work, work, work, work is good. We'll have good work.

Verse 2, how do we do good work? In what manner are we to accomplish the good work we're supposed to be doing for Jesus Christ? Speak evil of no one.

To be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men.

I want to go through those four things. Speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, and showing all humility to all men. Interestingly, if you look at the Greek, the speak evil is no blasphemial in the Greek. And it means to speak reproachfully, or rail, or revile.

To speak evil of, and you might think it means to yell. No, that's the next word.

You know what this implies, guys, that we tend to do? Is to be judgmental, and to constantly speak against other people, and for our own opinion.

Blasphemial. To reproach, constantly correcting other people, constantly downing other people, constantly making them feel, even if we don't mean to, by our constant correction. No, it's not that way. No, you can't do it. Why did you, can't you just listen, constantly, constantly reproach other people, and making them feel worthless?

Guys, especially the ladies, need affirmation, need to know that we approve of them, of their very existence, that we love them. And if we're constantly telling them, wrong, bad, I disagree, and not being gentle, or being harsh on them. The second one is to be peaceable.

The word in the Greek is, et machos. Sounds like a Spanish word, it's actually Greek. Et machos.

It's et machos. And it means no brawling. Don't raise your voice.

It means to not be contentious, to abstain from fighting. Gents, we need to be slow to raise our voice, slow to argue, slow to fight. My mother gave me a really great pearl of wisdom when she told me, Rod, it takes two to tango, and it just takes one person to stop a fight. If there's a fight, two people are involved, and it only takes one of you to stop it. Guys, stop raising your voice. Gentle, gentle. It's not enough just to be humble, and then blow off every once in a while, and lose your temper, and lose your cool. No, you have to be humble, which means put other people's needs in front of yours. Do to others what you would have others do to you, and combine with that, be gentle. How many of you have done that perfectly? I can't raise my hand, so I won't bother. These are the requirements that are given to us. Speak no evil. In other words, don't be constantly judgmental, blasting other people, and don't be ready to fight. Be peaceable. Don't raise your voice, and don't argue, especially in the family. A family is not a debate club. It's a family! Imagine that.

Cool down, control your anger, don't raise your voice. And then there's the word in verse 2, right after peaceable, it says to be gentle. And actually, the word doesn't mean gentle.

Fair translation, but it's not quite on the money. That actual Greek word, I'm not a Greek expert. I can't even pronounce the word, but according to Thayer's Greek definition, it means seemingly or suitable, equitable, or fair. Oh, fair! Be fair! The same rules guys that apply to them should apply to us. Don't require her not to blow all the money on clothes and jewelry, and you go out drinking beer, and you blow all the money on beer. Well, that's because I can't deal with the old lady, and we always have some excuse. Be fair!

Whatever applies to you applies to her, or whoever you're dealing with in any relationship. You are equitable, and you are fair. My grandfather was always somebody who was known as being someone who was fair and honest. If he was a lumberjack and ran a sawmill, and if they asked for a truckload of wood, he would always give them just a little bit more. And Willie Foster was always known as an equitable, fair man, and he never went out of business.

Never went out of business. Gentlemen, part of being gentle isn't just not being judgmental, and it's just not just raising your voice. It's also being fair, and making sure that the people you have in a relationship, especially your wife, follows or doesn't have to follow any rule that you wouldn't have to follow. Don't put a heavy burden on somebody else and give yourself a break. Give yourself a burden. Give your family a break. It's part of being gentle. It's part of having the quality of being a peacemaker. It's part of actually making it into the kingdom of God. And then Paul says, showing all humility to all men. And that word actually means be gentle.

That's the word that means gentle. It means be mild and be meek, which is the opposite of severe. You know what? It's a couple of ways that we men tend to be severe. And one of them is the constant scowl that we do, or we can do, when we're stressed. Now, when we come from a sports show, when our team has just won the game, we don't scowl. I mean, we're happy. When we're listening to our favorite music, unless it's like metal or something, we don't scowl. I mean, if it's metal, you're supposed to scowl, right? But okay. You know, when we've just come out of a great movie like Rocky or Star Wars or whatever movie you like, we don't scowl. It's when we're stressed that we scowl, right? When we're trying to balance that checkbook. When we're trying to make the ends meet. That's when we're grumpy. And they may not have done anything to us. And we walk around with a furrowed brow. We look down on everybody and they feel, you know how they feel? Rejected. Like you're angry at them.

Why? Because we're not being gentle. Lighten up! Lighten up! Be willing to take a joke.

Right? You get a little spinach stuck on your tooth and the kids laugh at you? Laugh! It's funny! So what if you're the butt of the joke? It's okay. You'll live. You don't have to get, you know, get them back and start playing jokes on them. Be gentle. Lighten up. The other way that we, uh, we're not gentle is that we can tend to be know-and-alls and argue everything.

Oh, come on! You don't know everything!

Especially between husbands and wives. God did give her a brain.

She can see things that you can't see. Listen to her. You don't know everything.

Just because you're the head doesn't make you the know-it-all. Be gentle.

Okay, so that's, that's men and women.

You know, but there's something that both of us tend to do that tear down relationships, that break that dam, that cause the water to go gushing out, and once it does, you can't stop it. Don't let it get that far. The one thing that breaks the dam down the most is the mouth.

It's our words. James chapter 3 and verse 6. This is for all of us. James chapter 3 and verse 6.

And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. And that word, iniquity, is anomia. Anomia doesn't mean just lawless or lawlessness. It means against law, opposed to law, right? I am the exact opposite of law. The most unruly thing you can imagine, that's your tongue. It's a fire and it's lawless. It's not just lawless, it's against being bound. The tongue is so set among the members that it defiles the whole body and sets fire to the course of nature. And it is set on fire by hell.

In other words, gehenna. Final judgment, right? This is something that is so serious that if you don't get a hold of it, it will literally bring final condemnation onto you. Verse 7, For every kind of beast, and bird, and reptile, and creature of the sea is tamed, or has been tamed by mankind. I've seen grizzly bears tamed. Grizzly bears! Those things with one swipe of the paw can take your head off. And yet, I've seen guys train grizzly surname, and say, no, no, don't do that. And the bear will, Awwww! And sit down like a puppy dog! And that guy is no bigger than a morsel to that bear, a snack!

Wouldn't even make a full meal, he's so small, compared to that bear. And yet, that bear does what that guy tells him to do. I've seen on Discovery Channel in Shark Week, they wrangle great white sharks. Great white sharks! They wrangle them on these boats, bring them up on platforms, prod them, poke them, stick little trackers on them, put them back in the water. They're in the water with the shark, waking them up.

Come on, buddy, you can do it! Wake up! They send him on his way. Bye, sharky! We can tame anything, except our tongue. Can't tame that one. No man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God the Father, and with it we curse men. You got this one down yet? You have control of your tongue? Who have been made in the similitude of God, or the image of God? Verse 10, out of the same mouth, proceed blessing and cursing. I love this eloquent understatement. My brethren, these things ought not be so. That's all that James says. He goes into this huge diatribe on how we can tame the beast, and we can't tame the tongue, and then he just says, These things ought not be so.

Enough said. How poignant! How eloquent! Enough said. Stop talking. Proverbs 16, verse 28. Who will be in the kingdom of God, a righteous man or woman? Who will not be in the kingdom of God, a perverse man or woman? Proverbs draws all of these opposites, and brings out opposites all the time, and compares them. And in Proverbs 16, verse 28, it says, A perverse man sows strife.

If you are constantly fighting, you are not qualified for the kingdom of God, not yet. And notice the end, the comparison. And the whisperer separates the best of friends. The quickest way to break a dam, to break a relationship, is to gossip about somebody, instead of approaching that person and dealing with the problem directly and straight on. It will also keep us, by comparison, out of the kingdom of God.

Proverbs 17, verse 9. He who covers a transgression seeks love. Yeah! Forgiveness, right? But he who repeats a matter separates friends. The quickest way to break a dam, to break a congregation, to break a family, is to separate by talking about each other behind their backs. Deal directly with the person you have a problem with.

So, there's more to cover, but I'm going to sum it up there, and I'll probably give a sermon in the future. on dealing with difficult people. Because there's an entire set of rules in the Bible on how to deal with difficult people.

Okay? And that, right now, we're dealing with how you ought to be. And you can't be one of those difficult people if you want to be in the kingdom of God. So, I'm going to skip a lot of this, and we're going to cover it in the How to Deal with Difficult People sermon. Okay. Right now, we're dealing with ourselves. I'm dealing with me. You're dealing with you. How ought you be? Well, a peacemaker! That's how. Maintaining good relationships is like maintaining a large dam. It starts with humility, putting the needs of others first. That relieves pressure. And you know what? When cracks start happening in the dam, you be gentle, and you fill in those cracks.

Humility relieves the pressure, and being gentle fills in the cracks. Women need to learn to be gentle and quiet. That's where your beauty lies. It lies within. Raging women are repulsive. It's just repulsive when you see that. But a quiet woman... I've seen a woman... I have seen some of the most beautiful things on the planet come from women. And one time, I noticed a man who inappropriately was just railing against his wife. Nobody that you know. Railing against his wife in church. And they're long since dead. So I'm not talking about anybody you know. And he was just out of line. I mean, he was just mean to her. In front of everybody.

And she was no pushover. If you knew this woman, you knew, when he gets home, he's gonna get it. But she did not dishonor him in front of everybody else.

She just said, yes, sir. And gathered her things. And went out the door with him. Gracefully. And I was like, whoa! Dude, she just made you look like a fool. And she did. It was a beautiful thing. And she had the respect of everybody in that congregation.

There are some gentle women out there. And they just command respect. They're not doormats. They're not pushovers. They're very strong. There is a strength in being quiet. You always wonder what they're thinking. Men, don't be judgmental and condemning. You know, believe in other people. Let other people have an opinion.

Don't raise your voice. Women, you should do that too. Don't raise your voice. Guys, don't scowl. Not all the time, at least.

And you don't have to be right all the time. You just don't. You're not. Whether you think you are or you're not, have some humility and be gentle. Remember that words are the biggest tool in your relationship toolbox. Avoid gossip. Be gentle.

You know, sometimes there are people, there are difficult people out there. And you can be as peaceful a person as possible. And we'll deal with that sometime in the future. There is nothing you can do to have a relationship with that particular person. That's covered in the Scriptures also. But from your point of view, as much as up to you, Paul says, live peaceably with all men. Matthew 5 in the Sermon on the Mount is not a child's lesson. It is advanced Christianity. It's where the rubber meets the road.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God.

You know, that was one of the very first sermons that Jesus gave after his baptism. One of the very last sermons that he gave was the Olivet prophecy. Just before he was crucified, his disciples asked him, tell us about these things and when they'll come about. And he went up on the Mount of Olives and he started giving one of the most profound prophecies in all the Bible. And in that prophecy, he told us who or who's going to be in the Kingdom of God. And you know what? It's not all those smart, brilliant, throbbing spiritual words that no Greek can write Hebrew, can say the name of God in any language. It's not what he's looking for. In the Olivet prophecy, in Matthew chapter 25, we'll cut down to the end, we'll cut to the chase in verse 30. Jesus Christ said this, Matthew 25 in verse 31, When the Son of Man comes in His glory, and His holy angels with Him, and He sits on the throne of His glory, all the nations will be gathered before Him.

You're going to be there? He will separate them one from another as a shepherd. He will separate them one from another as a shepherd divides his sheep from the goats. And I'm just going to talk about the sheep today, because I want us all to be sheep, not goats. He will set the sheep on His right hand and the goats on His left. And then the King will say to those on His right hand, the sheep, the peacemakers, those people who put other people's needs in front of their own, and those people who are gentle in their communication, who never lose their cool, who don't make an excuse. Oh, I lost my temper! The sheep! Verse 34, then the King will say those on the right hand, Come, you blessed of my Father. I hope that Jesus Christ says that to every single one of us. You blessed of my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food. I was thirsty and you gave me drink. I was a stranger and you took me in. He's describing, taking care of the needs of other people. I was naked and you clothed me. I was sick and you visited me. I was in prison and you came to me. And then the righteous will answer him, saying, Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and take you in, or naked and clothe you? Or when did we see you sick and in prison and come to you? And the King will answer and say to them, Assuredly I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of these, the least of my brethren. What that means is, is that there is no one that you will not help. No one that is not worthy of your kindness, your attention, your thoughtfulness, your help. When you're in the store and you're a gift-giver and you're thinking of buying a gift, is it only to gain attention for yourself? Or is it for that one person that a lot of people might even think doesn't really even matter, but you noticed and you remembered and you did it for them. That's who Jesus Christ says, you did it to him. He says, inasmuch as you did it to one of these, the least of my brethren. You did it to me.

That is literally the definition of humility. So who will be with Jesus Christ in the end? Who will stand on the holy hill? Well, the peacemakers will. Are you a peacemaker? Those who tend to their relationship dams, gain the relationship skills of Jesus Christ and learn to patch the leaks in the dam before they break. Gain that skill and you actually will become, truly, a peacemaker like Jesus Christ.