God's Basic Marital Design

In recent times, marriage, the institution of marriage, the design and structure of marriage, God's marital design, has been on my mind, and obviously been on the minds of quite a few others too, and quite a bit has been written about it and in some places spoken about it, and again for a number of reasons, and has germane and intrinsic to some of the issues of the times we're dealing with. So today, what I want to do is go through God's basic marital design.

If you'd like a title, simply, God's basic marital design. Where's a good place to start? Well, if we're going to deal with God's basic marital design, I think one of the best places we can start is simply at the beginning, Genesis 2 and verse 18. So, let's go to Genesis 2 and verse 18. Now, it is interesting that God didn't make Adam and Eve at the exact same time. He made Adam first, and a little bit of time passed, but it says this in verse 18 of chapter 2 of Genesis, and the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone.

I will make him a help-meet for him. It is not good that man should be alone. Now, let's be clear. It doesn't say it is a sin. It just says it is not good. Remember, the apostle Paul acknowledged in 1 Corinthians 9 and verse 5, he talked about Peter and other apostles leading a wife or spiritual sister about, and that he and Barnabas had the same right.

But, as we know from that scripture and other scriptures, Paul was not married. Now, at some point in life, he had been. He was part of the Sanhedrin, and he had been, but we don't know if his wife died, we don't know if she left him, if they were divorced.

We just simply don't know. We'll have to find out the rest of the story, as Paul Harvey would have said, at a future time when we meet Paul when we're there. But, God says it is not good that man should be alone. He doesn't say it's a sin, but it's not good he should be alone.

He needs a companion. He needs a soul mate. He needs someone to share life with, and he needs a balancing counterpart. He needs a complimentary companion. He needs someone who completes him. This statement I'll make doesn't hold 100% all across the board, but there's enough legitimacy in it that it's worth saying. Men, as they get older and they never marry, they tend to become weird or unbalanced. Now, again, that doesn't happen in all cases, and I'm not saying that it does. But my experience has been that the majority of men who never marry, they become unbalanced and maybe even weird as they get older.

And if a man is not going to marry, then he needs to be on guard against that, and he needs to go to extra pains to keep balanced and to do things that can help to compensate to keep balanced. You know, there's a reason why God said it's not good that the man should be alone.

And he goes on to say, I will make a help mate for him. That is a fitting companion, a fitting help, a fitting helper, as the New King James Version puts it, a helper comfortable, a companion and helper that meets his needs. Now, what God is about to do in the aftermath of saying it's not good that man should be alone, he's going to make him a help mate, a helper comfortable. That was in God's mind from the beginning. Now, at whatever point that the one that we know of as God the Father and the one we know of as Jesus Christ discussed having a family and planned a family long before they ever created Adam and Eve, whenever it was that they decided to have a family, it was in his mind at that point they discussed mankind being in two counterparts.

And so when it came down to creating human beings, it says in verse 26 and 27 of Genesis 1, and God said, let us make man, and mankind would be very appropriate to say here, let us make man or mankind in our image, after our likeness, let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the fowl of the air, over the cattle, over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him, male and female, created he them.

Male and female. God's very design of male and female shows that we are counterparts. We are counterparts one to the other, two counterparts together making a completion, making a whole a completion. And that's from the physical to the emotional and psychological that is shown to be true. We have been marvelous, marvelously designed. If when we read, and I'm going to go over to Psalm 139 and verse 14, Psalm 139 and verse 14, David said, I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully or awesomely made.

Marvelous are your works and that my soul knows right well. I'm deeply convicted and convinced of that. Think about male and female. It's interesting. Male and fee male, man and woe man, woman. Some men say, well, that woman is supposed to be pronounced with emphasis on woe. Woe, man. You know, we have all these jokes and all.

In the Hebrew for man, it's ish, I-S-H. And for the woman, it's ish, I-S-H-A. It's just interesting, even the relationship and connection there, some of the common name in it, male, female, man, woman, woe man, ish, ish. Interesting take. Notice God's preparation of Adam. Preparation. Preparation of his mentality. Preparation of his mindset for the reception, receiving of Eve.

Notice how God put it in and put it on his mind that he needed a special companion, a soul mate, as we say. Okay, back in Genesis, Genesis 2. Okay, he has said, it's not good for the man should be alone. I will make a help meet for him. Okay, let's go forward from that point. And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every fowl of the air and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them.

And whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle and to the fowl of the air and every beast of the field. But for Adam, there was not found a help meet for him.

You know, God let the obvious become obvious to Adam. For Adam, there was not found a help meet or fitting being for him. There was no match. There was nothing or no one like him in any comparable way. You need to think about it. Here, God is with him.

And God, as God stands there with Adam, God is having the fowl fly by. He is having the animals pass by. And what is Adam seeing? He is seeing that everything that passes by him comes in pairs. Everything comes in twos. Everything has a mate.

Well, how long do you think it occurred to Adam that God was not a voice to it, but in his mind, where is my mate? Your creation, all living things, they each have someone. Each has its own mate. Where is mine?

God knows how to set things up properly and lead. And he prepared a mindset in Adam. And once that was done, when that need was set in Adam's mind, that's when God acted. So in verse 21 and 22, Now, it's interesting that God formed Adam from the dust. He could have done the same thing with Eve. He formed Adam from the dust and breathed the breath of life into him. And Adam was living being. Well, God at the same time could have formed Eve from the dust and breathed the breath of life into her. But he didn't do it that way. He let Adam realize he needed a mate. And then he took his mate from Adam himself, took a rib. Boy, it's amazing what God can do with a rib. Very interesting. One of his ribs. And you've heard this. It's often been commented about how one of his ribs, not from his head to be over him, not from his foot to be stepped on or trampled on, but from his side under his arm and close to his heart to be loved, cherished, honored, and respected. A fitting companion, helper, and soulmate to walk through life with, the one to most fully share life with. We don't generally find it pleasant just to look at a skeleton. That's the structure of the body, the hard frame in the human body. But the skeleton is really an amazing marvel of work. And just like the inner structure of a house, which all the house is built around, the skeleton, again, is an amazing structure that the body is built around. And take the ribs. And take the rib cage. The ribs encase and they protect the life-sustaining apparatus of the heart and the lungs. I mean, that's what they protect. They wrap around the lungs and the heart and they protect it. Well, you know, you think about the lungs, you think about chapter 2 here in verse 7 in Genesis. The Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life. There's no mystery there. The breath of life. What is the breath of life? It's air that's got oxygen in it.

You know, air without oxygen in it is not a breath of life. It's a breath of death. If you're put into a place where all the oxygen is used up and there's no oxygen in the air, you suffocate. God simply breathed air with oxygen into his lungs and, of course, started his heart beating and then that blood in his body was oxidized and circulated through his body.

You know, I don't know if they still do it. I guess in some cases they do, but a lot of times when a baby would be born and be a newborn and they would maybe hold it and give it just the lightest little pad or whatever on the rump or whatever to help stimulate it, jolt it a little, get it to start breathing, to bring in the air and everything to start working.

Interesting. The breath of life, air with oxygen in it, oxidizing the blood. And, of course, if you looked at Genesis 9 close by in verse 4, just this simple statement in Genesis 9 and verse 4, "... but flesh with the life thereof, flesh with its life, the life which is the blood thereof, shall you not eat." From that scripture and a companion scripture like Leviticus 17, 11, I'm not going to turn there, but Leviticus 17 verse 11 and verse 14, "... for the life of the flesh is in the blood." And one of the most crucial things is, obviously, oxygen in the blood oxidized to go throughout the body. And again, the ribs encase and protect the life-sustaining apparatus of the heart and lungs. God took a rib, not for him to be over him, not from his foot to be stepped on, not from his head, not from his foot, not to be stepped on, not to be trampled on, but from his side to be valued, to be important, to be cherished, to be honored, to be respected, and to share life with.

Again, the ribs protect the prime life-sustaining function of the body.

They play a prime role in life being sustained.

When we speak of life in some of its fullest meaning, we speak of joy, fulfillment. And again, when we speak of life in its fullest meaning, I mean, if somebody is just cussily in pain, nothing goes right for them physically, emotionally.

Their life is full of nothing but trials and tests and heartaches and headaches and all of that.

We use terms like, well, boy, they just don't have much quality of life, if any.

They're just simply breathing and their blood is flowing, and that's about it.

But when we speak of life with its fullest meaning, we incorporate into that joy and fulfillment and meaning and happiness and purpose reasons to get up in the morning and head into the day and excitement.

And we speak of serving and sharing and relating.

A wife adds such to her husband. I've told Angela, and, you know, I think I have mentioned this before about how that she might say, she might say, I didn't get anything done today.

She's pulled out a couple of times with me, and she knows what answer she's going to get, so she doesn't pull that anymore. It's like, I didn't get anything done today, because Angela's always been a doer and is one of the hardest things for her not to be able to do anymore, like she once did. I say, oh, yes, you did. Why? You stayed alive.

Well, yeah. I said, hon, I don't think you realize how much that means. And I've told her, you know, those first three fruits of the Spirit, love, joy, and peace, I've said, look, the love and the joy and the peace that I have just because you're there.

You know, I've come over here for services this morning. I'll go on to Gadsden this afternoon, and I'll probably help close the hall because I'm a hall closer.

And it won't matter how late I stay, and it won't matter how tired I wind up feeling when I point the car toward home, I know that Angela is there. And like I've told her, I love her place. God bless us with exactly what we needed. We're both very thankful for it. I really love it. But without you, it's just property. With you, it's home. Without you, it's just property.

And the difference between heading home and knowing she's there is so different than heading home and knowing she's no longer there. Do you keep functioning? Yes, you keep functioning. But is there a major change in how things feel? Absolutely.

Now, when we lived in Paducah for twelve and a half years, she was able to drive and be physically independent, sufficient, that occasionally, not real often, she might drive down to Huntsville and spend a week with her daughter. She might even take a trip over to Atlanta to spend a few days over there with family.

Of course, when she would, I just buried myself in my work more, and I knew she was coming back later.

Now, the wife adds such to her husband, and when Angela would be gone during those times, I wouldn't have quite the same measure of life, but I always knew she was coming back. But without that help, me, that help her comfortable, life is diminished. And I'll just say it like it is. I'm not as much alive. I'm still alive, but I'm not as much alive. The way God created the first woman illustrates that He intends a man and a woman to be, to grow, as close as they can be, through a lifetime together.

That's what His intentions were. Back in Genesis 2, the way He created the first woman illustrates that He intends a man and a woman to be and to grow as close as they can be through a lifetime together. Verse 23, and Adam said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called Isha, woman, Hebrew, Isha, I-S-H-A, Isha, because she was taken out of Ish, I-S-H, in the Hebrew, woman because she was taken out of man. Again, man, woman, even the name man is incorporated in the word, the name woman.

Male is incorporated in the name, the word female. Two parts, two counterparts of a whole, a completion. And this is further signified by verse 24. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.

They shall be one flesh. The act and closeness of physical union represents a oneness before God. You might notice 1 Corinthians 6.16. 1 Corinthians 6.16. Paul wrote to the Corinthians in 1 Corinthians 6.16, and of course, telling them absolutely not to be involved in what is perfectly fine for a husband and wife to be involved in.

What, don't you know, that he which is joined to a harlot is one body? For two says he shall be one flesh. And again, showing the intent of God with God's basic marital design and the closeness that's presented in Hebrews 13 and verse 4. Hebrews 13 and verse 4, where Paul wrote, marriage is honorable in all.

And the bed, the marriage bed, undefiled. Notice back in Genesis, and this time, chapter 5. Chapter 5 verses 1 and 2. This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God created him, male and female created him and blessed him.

Now notice this part, focusing on this, and called their name Adam in the day when they were created. So this says, what was Adam's name? Adam? What was Eve's name? Eve Adam. It is surprising how many customs and traditions have a basis in antiquity, have a basis in the Bible.

The tradition and the custom of when a man and a woman marry, and the woman taking on the man's surname as her surname, goes all the way back to the original couple. Eve not only carried her name Eve, but she carried Adam's name, which was simply Adam. She was surname, and that's why I say a little tongue in cheek, but realistically Eve Adam. Angela's maiden name was Angela Lee, with a W, W-R-A-Y.

Well, when we married, she dropped the Lee, slid Ray into the middle, and took on my last name as her surname, Angela Ray Beam. Some ladies will keep their maiden name and hyphenate it with the last name, which is fine, no problem with that. I like the fact that she kept her maiden name and mated her middle name. It's just interesting how that even in the way that God named them, he stuck Adam's name also on Eve.

And again, that's where the practice of surnames comes from. It's biblical. You know, God does not now, and has not since Adam, made a wife for a man from his rib that I'm aware of. But he does still get involved in his choosing in the matter. Proverbs 18. Proverbs 18. Proverbs 18, verse 22. Proverbs 18 and verse 22. Who so finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor of the Lord?

And then chapter 19 and verse 14. Chapter 19 and verse 14. House and riches are the inheritance of fathers, and a prudent wife is from the Lord. No, God doesn't and hasn't since Adam and Eve made a man's wife from the man's rib. But he does still get involved at his choosing in the matter. But I want to go back to the building material that God used to make Eve.

I have a question. The building material. Which side of the rib cage did he take the rib from? You say, well, I don't know. Well, yeah, I don't either. You say, well, it doesn't really matter, does it? No, it doesn't really matter. Now, atheists and others who want agnostics, who want to spoof the Bible, will say, well, if there was a God and he actually took a rib from Adam's rib cage, then every man today would have a sunken spot, would be missing a rib there. Yeah, that's about as smart as saying, yeah, if a man goes in the hospital and they have to put him to sleep and have to take out a rib that is cancerous, and he has three kids after that, and they're all boys, each one would be missing a rib right there.

That's about how smart it is. God didn't do something genetic with Adam. He simply took a bone, and every child, Cain, Abel, Seth, etc., that Adam had, had a full rib cage. But let's go back to which side of the rib cage did he take the rib from? Well, again, there's no way to dogmatically know, but I wonder, and I tend to think, that it was from the right side of the rib cage. And I'll tell you why I think that. Just speculation, but I'll tell you why I think from the right side, because the right side in Scripture is presented as a side of honor and privilege.

For example, look at Hebrews 10, verse 12. The right side is presented as a side of honor and privilege. Hebrews 10 and verse 12 says, But this man, after he had offered one sacrifice for sins forever, sat down on the right, talking about Christ, of course, sat down on the right hand of God, on the right side of God. Chapter 8 here, in verse 1. Now, the things which he has spoken, this is the Psalm, we have such a high priest who has sat on the right hand of the throne of the majesty in the heavens.

Chapter 1, verse 3, Who, being the brightness of his glory, and the express image of his person, and upholding all things by the word of his power, when he had by himself purged our sins, sat down on the right hand of the majesty on high. Acts 7.56, and Acts 7, when Stephen is before the Sanhedrin. And he knows that they're about to mob him, and take him, and kill him.

And he says in Acts 7, in verse 56, he said, Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of Man standing, standing up, you know, like cheering Stephen, pulling for him, an action of support, but standing on the right hand of God. In the marriage relationship, the wife stands in a position of honor and privilege. Standing before the minister who's conducting the ceremony as the bride, but not yet as the wife, standing before the minister who's conducting the ceremony with the bridegroom, as the wife to be, she, the bride, stands on the left.

She's standing there, and she's on his left, as her husband, as he is her husband to be. When the ceremony is concluded, and they are pronounced husband and wife, and they turn to walk back down the aisle, she is now on his right side. It is her special right as his wife to be on his right. And from that point on, let me be clear, from that point on, no human being is to come before her with her husband, no human being is to come before her.

To get between her and her husband to come before her, only God comes before her with him, her husband. And among all humans, she is to be first and foremost, that is, her God given right and privilege and place. And the same applies to the husband, that among humans, he is to come first and foremost, and only God is to come before him. In the marriage ceremony, we use heavily Ephesians 5, because the marital structure is laid out in Ephesians 5. And I want to go there and just read quickly through verses 22 through 33. Ephesians 5. Beginning in verse 22, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it even as the Lord the church. For we are members of the body, of his flesh and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined to his wife, and they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, because see there's also an analogy going on here too, a parallel or an analogy. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ in the church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself, and the wife see that she respect her husband.

Now there's something I'll come back to in a little bit. The spiritual worth of each is equal in God's sight. The human potential is the same. There are some men that think, well, because I'm a man, I'm worth more to God.

There could be women who think, well, because I'm a woman, I'm worth more. Now the spiritual worth of each is equal in God's eyes. The human potential is the same. And if you remember in Genesis 1, verses 26 and 27, where we read, Let us make man in the two counterparts, male and female, let us make them in our image, after our likeness.

I don't want to turn to Galatians. We're close to it right here. Galatians 3, verses 26 through 29. Galatians 3, beginning in verse 26, For you are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus. For as many of you as men and women, as have been baptized into Christ, have put on Christ, now spiritually speaking, spiritual worth, potential, value, there is neither Jew nor Greek, or that is Gentile, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female.

Now obviously in congregations, the body of Christ, etc., were there Jews? Uh-huh. Were there Gentiles? Yes. Were Psalm and Buns? Yes. Were most of the folks of the church free? Yes. Were there men? Yes. Were there females? He's not talking about on the physical plane, he's talking about spiritual value and worth to God. And value of potential. There's neither Jew nor Greek, neither bond nor free, neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you be Christ, then are you Abraham's seed and heirs according to the promise? And again, I love the Scripture. I won't turn to it, but it's 2 Corinthians 6, 18.

2 Corinthians 6, verse 18. It's a quote from God Himself. And I will be a father, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty. It puts it in both genders, which that's the reason I, in particular, that I love that verse so well. See, the marital structure does not signify that one has more value and worth in God's eyes than the other.

But I want to go back now to Ephesians 5 and specifically focus on what I passed up previously. And that's verse 21. There are a lot of folks that do not realize that the marital structure starts in verse 21. They pick it up in verse 22, where it directly addresses wives and then goes on to address husbands.

But actually, the marital structure begins in verse 21. Because verse 21 is the intro, the prelude, the preface to the marital or the marriage structure. It's the lead-in, and it has specific and special meaning to and for the husband and wife. So let's read it here. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of the Lord. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. I have had, in a few cases, men say to me, I don't get that. I, what in the world? How can you say that's part of the marriage structure?

Because my wife is supposed to submit to me. Isn't that out of kilter if I submit to her? Submitting yourselves one to another. Why doesn't it apply in marriage? Is there something about submission that does away with headship? And what's it really talking about? Actually, it's very simple. Submitting yourselves one to another. Submitting to each other's needs. Submitting to the needs. It doesn't take away headship.

It doesn't take away the wife's submission. Both have needs. And submitting to those needs. The husband has needs. The wife has needs. Submitting to the needs of each other. Not always wants or desires, but needs. Now, there was a good book, one of many good books, written, quite a few years ago by Willard Harley. Willard F. Harley. As in Harley Davidson, although I don't think he had anything to do with Harley Davison's. Willard F. Harley, Jr., a book titled, His Needs, Her Needs.

His needs, comma, her needs. Very good one. But one closer to hand, time-wise, and as far as familiarity, is the one by Gary Chapman, written, the way time moves on. It's probably a couple of decades or so ago now, but it's been upgraded and new additions. But the five love languages, it's one of the best books you can read on marriage and having to do with recognizing each other's needs and properly submitting to serving those needs.

That's simple. The five love languages. If I ask you, what is the greatest commandment? Is there anybody in here that doesn't know what the greatest commandment is? Now, you might not know exactly where to turn to it in the Bible, and you'll find it's Matthew 22 and verse 37 and 38. In fact, I'll turn back there because I've got the numbers exactly correct. Matthew 22. But if I ask you, what is the great commandment? Whether you could turn to the exact location of it as printed and recorded in the Bible or not, you know it.

Verse 37, Jesus said to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind. Well, God comes first. God comes first. Okay. That's vertical. That's you toward God and putting God first in your life. That's a vertical relationship from you to God and all that you do, trying to make sure that you're doing it God's way and you're serving God.

Well, let's go horizontal. Let's go with relationships involving other human beings. What's the second commandment like unto it as Christ, unsolicited, spoke? In verse 39, He said, And the second is like unto it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. Who's your neighbor? Well, I have to think about it. It'll live out in the country and it's two miles to the closest house. I guess that would be my neighbor. Well, are you married? Yeah, but that's my wife.

Who do you think is your closest neighbor? Neighbor is a word that applies to human beings. Who is your closest neighbor? There is no human that you live as close to or closer to than you do with your mate. Your husband, your wife, that is your closest neighbor. And as I have said, Angela is my closest neighbor.

And that's not a stretch by any means because it's talking about horizontally your relationships with other human beings. There's no question God comes first and then you're to love your neighbor as yourself. And as they say, charity starts at home. Where does that start? With your mate. And of course, obviously, other closest neighbors would be your children, etc. But your mate is your prime neighbor.

Another scripture that we do incorporate into the marriage ceremony is 1 Corinthians 13. And I'll turn over there. 1 Corinthians 13 verses 4 through 8. That's the definition of God's type of love, agape. 1 Corinthians 13 verses 4 through 8. And God's kind of love, the love He wants us to have and exercise, it's really the bottom line on our actions toward others.

And obviously, it should be the underpinning of our relationship with our closest neighbor, our mate. It suffers long. You know, it may put up with a lot, but it's willing to suffer long in whatever way is necessary. It's kind. It doesn't envy. It doesn't get all puffed up. It doesn't behave unseemly. It doesn't just seek its own interests. Well, you've got to make sure my needs are met, but I'm not concerned about yours. I submit to my needs, and you submit to my needs, and my needs will be taken care of, but, you know, you submit to each other's needs.

It's not easily provoked. Your mate doesn't have to move around on eggshells around you. Thinks no evil. Rejoice is not in things going wrong, or, aha! I caught you again in a mistake or a sin. But rejoice is in the truth. Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

That kind of love does not fail. Romans 15 and verse 2. And again, thinking about submitting yourself to one another, that is, submitting yourself to the needs that each other has. This fits in with that in Romans 15 and verse 2.

Can you spare me some money? I said, is it for alcohol? He said, yeah. I said, well, thanks for being honest, but no, I can't. You don't just do anything, because not just anything is to somebody's edification. They're building up for their good. But let every one of us please his neighbor for his good, edification, doing those things that really and truly do help. But look at verse 1. Look at verse 1. We then that are strong... Now, we then that are strong. Let's stop and think about that for a moment. You could be strong in energy. You could be strong in knowledge and understanding. You could be strong in vision. You could be strong in fortitude and endurance. You could be strong in health. You could be strong in finances. You could be strong. You could be emotionally strong. You could be spiritually strong. There could be various realms in which you're strong. I mean, strength comes in various realms. Here's the principle. We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak and not to please ourselves to be concerned. Let me read. This comes from our marriage ceremony. And I think about how we ought to bear the infirmities of the weak. You know, it's interesting. We all get older. We're all going to have issues. One way or the other in life. We're not always on our game. We're not always strong. Variations do come. It's the nature of this life. But let me read these vows. Do you then, his first name, faithfully promise and covenant with God in the presence of these witnesses to take her full name, to be your lawful wedded wife, and listen carefully, in sickness and in health? When things aren't going well, health-wise, it can impact things, yes. And everybody would choose overall to have health. But no matter how healthy you are, if you live long enough, your health won't be as good. But the vows say, in sickness and in health, the ups and downs, the ins and outs, in good times and in difficult times, for as long as you both shall live, to love her, cherish her, honor her, and provide for her. And do you, her first name, faithfully promise and covenant with God in the presence of these witnesses to take his full name, to be your lawful wedded husband, in sickness and in health, in good times and in difficult times, for as long as you both shall live, to love him, cherish him, honor him, and as God has ordained to submit yourself to him. Sadly, in our day and age, as one young lady said, if it's broke, you don't fix it, you just go get another.

Now, I have been known to inhabit Waffle House in times past, occasionally. Greece, Inc., and as I've said, if you eat there occasionally, it won't kill you, but if you eat there every day, go prepay your funeral.

But sitting at the counter, quite a few years ago at this point, but sitting at the counter, working on something and drinking some coffee, and there was an older gentleman, and now I'm reflecting that statement more as I've gotten older myself. But there was an older gentleman sitting to my right, and there was a 21-year-old waitress, and she was a regular there, and he was a regular there. And he said to her, he said, hey, I heard you got married. She said, yeah, yeah, it's just a piece of paper, though. Just a piece of paper. Now, frankly, I doubt if she is still married.

Through good and bad. Strong bear the weak. How about aging? How about loss of hearing? How about loss of sight? You know, diminishment, not necessarily total loss, but the loss of hearing, the loss of sight, the loss of energy. How about patience and bearing with? And, of course, I kid about the fact that Angela and I don't talk to each other unless we're in the same room. If she's in another room and says something, hey, honey, I hear sounds, but I can't quite make out the words.

And if I'm back in the office and she's in the kitchen and I yell something to her, I can't tell what you're saying. You know, we laugh about it, but we're also becoming a little bit of lip readers. If I'm talking with some of you, if I sit at a table and it's just quiet, I don't have any problem hearing.

But if there's a lot of noise going on and I ask you to repeat something, it's because I'm not catching every word. And it's like, okay, well, it just goes with age. I know. And what about needs? And what about strong?

And what about weak? The man has a stroke or he has Alzheimer's. And the woman, the wife, has to take the lead. She has to do the driving. She has to do the shopping. She has to pay the bills. She's got to take the lead. And there are women. I have known a number of women over the years that because their husband had a stroke or Alzheimer's, they had to take the lead and take care of everything.

And I remember something Mr. Armstrong said long ago. He said, I would not marry a woman that had to wear the pants. But he said, I would not marry a woman who couldn't wear the pants that she had to. And that's a good balance. And the ladies that I know who have had to take the lead of necessity have still maintained a proper respect for their husband in the relationship. Sometimes there simply are no options. I think I'll turn to one other scripture. That's 1 Peter 3.7. 1 Peter 3 and verse 7. Likewise, Peter says, you husbands dwell with them, you know, with your wives, according to knowledge.

According to knowledge. Giving honor to the wife as in to the weaker vessel. Now, it's interesting people's thinking and where their thinking goes due to certain connotations or connotations they make. The word weaker there in too many people's minds is a synonym for inferior.

And it is not a synonym for inferior. Women are weaker than men in the general sense of physical strength. You go pick the 11 strongest, toughest, meanest women you know, scan the earth, and let me pick the 11 biggest, meanest, toughest men that can be found on the planet. And we'll line them up on the football field and see who wins on a physical contest. But that's what it's talking about on a physical basis. I'll say this with my wife, what she has gone through since 2006, I have found out how tough she is. And I'm not that tough. And I'll put it this way, I could not have gone through what she's gone through and handled it as well as she has handled it.

I know that. And I don't kid myself otherwise. Honor to the wife, as unto the weaker vessel. Not inferior, just physically weaker. And as being heirs together. Notice, heirs together. Spiritual worth and value is equivalent. Heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered. And you know, the more a couple follows God's basic marital design, the more the first three fruits of the Spirit are going to be present. Love, joy, and peace. And boy, that sets the stage to also enhance long suffering and gentleness and goodness and faith and meagness and temperance.

But here's one thing about the marriage opportunity. For a married person, that is their main training ground. Marriage is the main training ground of the human being. And it's a wonderful training ground. But these are some of the prime guidelines of God's design. And it's in all things of God, to the degree that we can meet and fulfill His design, to that degree, we're going to be blessed with peace and happiness.