Three Basic Rules of Any Relationship

I've got a question for you. Are there basic God-given rules for any relationship? Yes, there are. There are basic relationships, basic rules in any relationship that make the relationship work well, so that a job, a work, can be accomplished. If you work in a business organization, there has to be certain basic rules for the success of that organization. For instance, it's a company. There's going to be somebody that makes the decisions. There's somebody that actually collaborates and works to do those decisions. And there's going to be certain rules related to that. That is applicable not only at work, it's applicable in a church. For the church to do a work, those same basic rules that I want to highlight today are also applicable. But you know what? The foundation of society is a family. Those basic rules are also applicable in a family, in a marriage. So basically what you have is two groups of people. One are the leaders, basically like to think of the management or the leaders, and the others are the ones that under the manager that are working together to achieve the result to do the job. Here was this. They are leaders and they are followers. And so there are sound principles for the leader, and there are sound principles for the followers. And these principles apply in marriage, as applied in the church, as well as they're applied on our job, but also applied in our governments, which unfortunately, they're not practicing a very good example of that. But anyway, we'll leave that aside. The end goal is to fulfill the role of that unit. That unit has a role as a, let's think about it, an ultimate goal or a job description. In business, for instance, a company has a specific objective, and that company obviously works with other companies that have other objectives, and then the whole thing kind of comes together with to achieve some other objective. But in this company, you have an output, an outcome that you need to produce, and that's what your clients buy from you. And so you've got a work to do, a job to do. You think about it, in the church, it's the same thing. We've got a work to do. God's given us a mission. We've got a work to do. And some are leaders and some are followers. So the same basic rules are applicable. And likewise, in a family, in a husband and wife relationship, you know, there is a job to do, a final outcome to do. So today, brethren, I want to address three basic rules that are applicable to any relationship. I'm basically going to develop them or analyze them from the point of a marriage relationship. But I will draw the analogy time and again that those principles are, as I am describing them, they're applicable in the church to do work, to do the work. They're applicable in your job. They are just simple, basic rules. And when we look at the situation of man and woman, when God created man, then he realized that man was alone. You know the story, man was alone. And then God created a helper for him. So let's look in Genesis chapter 2.

Genesis chapter 2 verse 18 and verse 20. In Genesis 2 verse 18, he says, then the Lord God said, it's not good that a man should be alone. I'll make him a helper compatible to him. And then again on verse 20, it says, but for Adam there was not found a helper compatible to him. It was that you need a team and the two need to be working together as a team to achieve an end result. And so we read them a little bit further in verse 24. And then he says, therefore, you know, God then made a woman. And Adam said, well, in verse 23, this is flesh of my flesh, and she called me a woman. And then he said, therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

So YAH is an important principle right at the beginning that in this unit to achieve a job, a work, the two have to be working together as one. Obviously, the intent of one flesh goes a lot more than just that. You know, when the two marry and the relationship have children, that is part of being one flesh. So, but the point here, God created man and woman because they have a job to do.

We have a job to do. We have a job. And in the end, in the end, our job is to sharpen one another for us both to be in God's kingdom. You look at it in Genesis 1 verse 27. Genesis 1 verse 27 says, so God created man in his own image, in the image of God, he created him male and female, he created them. God created us to be in the image of God. And it's not just a photocopy of look like God, but in a character, as we heard in the sermonette, in that character that we are building, because as it was mentioned in the sermonette, it's like a factory of making character, a production line, we are in a very God-loving production line, because in the end, there is a good end result, which God wants, a good outcome. And a man and woman are to help one another.

But in God's greatest wisdom, there are differences. There are differences between man and a woman. They are genuinely differences, but they are one flesh.

But in any organization, there are differences between a leader and a follower, the manager and the employee. There's those differences. Each one has different characteristics.

But that's how God wants it, for us to work as a team. And one learns from the other. The man learns from the woman, the woman learns from the man, and there is this cooperative learning from one another. Look at Matthew 19, verse 4 and 5. Matthew 19, verse 4 and 5. Matthew 19, verse 4 and 5, this is a section about marriage and divorce. And then Matthew 19, verse 4 and 5, it says, Now the word joined, by the way, brethren, it means like glued. You know, it's a word like cleaving. Glued. Glued really stuck to one another. And the two shall become one flesh.

Now, yeah, is the very first important point in any relationship.

That any relationship, there's got to be a commitment to work together and to stay working together through good and bad. The marriage is a commitment for life. You and I know, it means we make that commitment. We make a vow before God. And yes, we all have challenges, challenges that we never thought they would happen when we first made the commitment.

Because many other things are going to happen in our lives further down the road. But we made a commitment. So we just got to stick with it. But you know the same thing, for instance, in an organization. You work in that organization, and yeah, you will have a manager that doesn't treat you right occasionally, or whatever it is, and an employee that feels this grant, but they're going to have to resolve those issues. Because if they don't, they're not going to achieve the end result of delivering the goods.

They've got to do that. But the same thing in the church. Think about it. Some people say, oh well, I'm committed to God, I'm not committed to the church. Well, it's like saying, well, the husband and wife says, well, I'm committed to God, I'm not committed to my husband or my wife. It's kind of the same analogy. It's kind of counterintuitive. We have to put the shoulders behind the wheel to do work together. When we split ourselves, we're not working together to do the job. And the only one that is happy with that is sighted.

Because the more we split and splinter into little groups, the less effective the work is. And so we need to be humble and be prepared to stick together. Oh, I don't want to stick because the person offended me. Well, if you've ever been offended by your husband, or has your wife ever been offended by we all have. But you know what? We have to swallow it and just keep going and make peace and get it right. That's what it is. That's not an excuse.

And that's why it reads. So then in verse 6, so then they no longer two, but one person, you know, was they are one team. They're one team. They're working together. So when it's in the church, when it's an organization, we need that commitment, that loyalty, that that feeling of says, I'm not going to jump ship. I'm going to back one another up. And okay, the principle he has about marriage, but I'm just using a principle to beyond marriage as well.

Obviously, in marriage, he says, well, God has joined together. Let no man separate. So for marriage, even more important than in other examples. So I'm not saying that you can't change job and things like that. That's not what I'm saying. But I'm just saying is that there has to be a commitment between management and employees for the work to be done effectively.

And likewise, particularly in a marriage, that commitment has to be for life, because that's what we promised. So it takes a commitment. Because when we are one, we have the same goal. And when we're working together as one, we want to achieve the same end result, the same output, the same outcome. And obviously, Yai goes on and he says, well, why did Moses then allow him? And Christ says, no, no, it's because your stubbornness, it's because you mankind, you've allowed it.

Then he says he gives certain rules about marriage and divorce. But the point is that I want to emphasize is that we need to be committed to one another. We need to have a commitment for life. That was important. And a commitment, a loyalty for one another, even when things are difficult and are hard, we just have to keep going. Now, one thing about this principle of relationship is an even greater lesson. Because there's an even greater lesson than all this. And the greater lesson is described to us by Paul in Ephesians chapter 5.

So let's go today, Ephesians chapter 5. Ephesians chapter 5 verse 31. Ephesians 5 verse 31. He says, for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one fish. Again, the same quote, but look at it. Verse 32, this is a great mystery.

You see, this has got a deeper meaning, and that's the relationship between Christ and the church.

Because Christ is not going to divorce his wife.

You know, when the wife marries and is ready and the two get married, it's a relationship forever. Eternal. They'll never be divorced. They'll always stick together. And he says, whatever the husband goes, the wife, the first fruit's 144,000, as it says, they'll follow whatever he goes. That doesn't mean that. You know, like for instance, me go in one direction, yeah, to do something, and my wife goes shopping, do something else. No, but we're basically together. I mean, we do things individually, now and again. We all do. But we are together, and that's what it says, yeah.

Christ and the church will always be together. Sure, there'll be times when Christ will send somebody on a mission to go, yeah, somebody there, but they're working together.

And so, that teaches us a principle of a body. You see, there are many members in the church, in the body, many members that make up the body. And when you and I are baptized, we are baptized into a body, which is the church of God, which is a spiritual organism, the body of Christ.

And we done, we baptized into that body, which is the body of Christ, which is the true church of God, which is a spiritual organism. And we've done that, we do that, by the authority of Jesus Christ. You see, so there is two intus. One is into the body, and the other one is in the authority of Jesus Christ. There are two, and that explains very clearly the Matthew 28 point that somebody, people sometimes ask the question about that. So, the bigger lesson is a spiritual lesson.

Between Christ and church, which then is a model of the relationship between the Father and the Son.

The two don't split. They are together. They are all one. That's why it says, you become one flesh. The analogy is because of, as I said, between Christ and the church. But the higher example is that the Father and the Son are one. It doesn't mean they're one person, just like the husband and wife does not mean they are one person, but they are one flesh. They are one in purpose to achieve an end result. And that's why it says then, in verse 33, even though in verse 32 says, this is a great mystery, which is about Christ and the church. Nevertheless, verse 33, let each one of you in particular, so love is on the wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. And so now we get to this second point of any sound relationship. And that is a way of give. A way of give. We also heard that in a sermonette. In a sermonette, it was talking about, hey, we do things to get something back. Well, we don't do things to get something back. We do something things to give. An outgoing concern to give.

Love your neighbor as ourselves. It was also mentioned in our To Be Perfect. You gotta love your enemy. So it's that point of love, and particularly so, starting with your mate, husband, wife, and wife, husband. You gotta love one another. There's gotta be that mutual love and respect that bolds the family. But likewise, that is applicable in the church, between brothers and the leadership. There's gotta be that genuine concern. But it applies also at a more, maybe not as deep level, but in employment. The manager must want to do things to achieve an end result, but he can't do it just neglecting the employees. You know, so therefore, there are things that you do it with safety so that employees don't get injured, and all other things. Well, because sometimes mankind abuses it, then we've got to have laws like health laws and safety laws, etc. But you know what? If the spirit was right, he would not need those laws, because people would just want to do it by themselves. But here is a point. It's basic on the desire to have an outgoing care for one another. And that's why it says, now getting back to the marriage relationship, in the same chapter, Ephesians 5, verse 25, says, husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church.

So yeah, it's a big principle, love, which is of any concern. So the husbands, which are the head of, just like Christ is the head of the church, just like the father is the head of Christ, so there is that continuity example there. But what is the love that Christ has for the church?

What is the love that Christ has for the church? Is that emotional thing? Oh, how sweet, how love the church is so sweet, so beautiful. Now, of course, you all are beautiful, right? But but Christ's love for the church is one of sacrifice, of dying for us, and giving of his life.

And our sacrifice, our love for our spouses, is one of giving of our time, and when our wives need that, and likewise when husbands need that, you could do it the other way. It's that mutual respect that goes one way or another. So Christ is the example of how a marriage should function.

How did Christ love the church? Was he a dictator? No. He died for the church.

How do we treat our wives? Are we dictators? No. We serve. So quite often in the Bible, the emphasis seems to be more along the husband to love the wife.

There seems to be more of that, but it does also say, wife, love your husband. You just look at Titus. Turn with me to Titus 2, verse 4. Titus 2, verse 4, when it's talking about all the women to teach the younger women, and what are all the women to teach the younger women?

In Titus 2, verse 4, it says that they admonish the younger women to love their husbands and to love their children. You see, God made it possible, but because God created man and woman with different characteristics. And now today in the world, it's kind of not politically correct to say that a man has different attributes than a woman. But I always found it very difficult to breastfeed my children. Oh, there are differences, of course. So, you know, anybody can go on. You can talk about many others. So, obviously, there are differences. But as a woman, a woman has been created to have that nursing care, for instance, for a baby. Now, don't man have it? Yes, we do. But you know what? Woman by nature have it more. God by nature created that in a woman. And we men have to learn from the woman. And likewise, God put on the man some other characteristics that the woman needs to learn from the man. And that's how we learn from one another.

And so that gets back to the third characteristic, because the first one is we're going to be committed. The second one, you know, is we're going to be loyal to one another. There's going to be a loyal, the respect to an organization and things like that. The second one is we've got to have a mutual, outgoing concern for the other person, for the fellow man, and starting from the marriage. But that's an example of the relationship between Christ and the Church. But so that's applicable to every other organization. We've got to have a respect for our employees. The employees have to have a respect for their managers. And it's an outgoing concern the way it should be. But the third point is what I was alluding to, is that the woman has certain natural attributes that are most suitable for a woman, just like I used the example breastfeeding, but so many others. And the man's got other natural attributes that God's given to him.

And so the third point is that we all have different God-ordained functions or roles.

We all have different God-ordained functions or roles. So we have to fulfill the role that we have in this quote-unquote body. So the husband and wife body of one flesh, we have a role to fulfill. The husbands have a role and the wives have a role. And the best way it works, and we all fulfill our roles. It's not that my role is better than your role, they're different. They're just different in an organization, for instance. One is a manager, the other one is the employee. Is the manager a better person than the employee? No, it's just that the manager has the accountability for the success and to watch that all the things are done. And the employee has accountability of making sure that these things and the areas of responsibility he or she has to fulfill. So we all have our different roles and functions in the body. So look at 1 Corinthians chapter 11. 1 Corinthians chapter 11. Because we are a body, the church is a body, and so in this analogy, we all have different roles and functions. In verse 3, 1 Corinthians 11 verse 3. But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ. So there is this, let's call it delegation of authority. First is the father, then Christ, and obviously I'm reading the church, but of every man, of every man is Christ, and of every, that man has got his own wife, and there's that delegation of authority. And as he goes on read, and the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

Now, I think that some men sometimes get the point wrong and say, oh well, therefore, every woman must be under me. No, no, you're just, you are in your family nucleus. That's the relationship. Not every woman has got to be submissive to every other man. No, that's within your family nucleus. And so likewise, this expands now to the whole family, to the society, to the church, and obviously it's the same principle all the way up to God the Father.

But for this relationship to work together, this fulfilling of your role could be translated in different words, could be stated in a different words. You've got to submit to your role. Really, you've got a role, I've got a role, we all have a role to play. We have to submit to the roles that we have. That's what it means. There's nothing wrong with the word submission.

Christ submitted a full-willing... He emptied Himself of His power. He emptied Himself of being who He was. Sure, He still remained divine because He never sinned, but He emptied Himself and became a human being. And He submitted willingly to the death by the cross. He submitted. Why? To fulfill His role. What is His role? To open up a way that you and I could be reconciled with the Father. Because between you and I and the Father, there's a huge gap. A huge gap. Think of it. If you ever been, for instance, at the Grand Canyon, it's a huge gap. Right? I don't know if you've ever been there, but it's huge. And try, you physically, to run and jump to the other side. I don't think you're gonna succeed. There's a gap. That's a simple analogy. Kind of tries and gives you an idea of the gap between us and God the Father. And so, He had to send Christ, come down across this gap, across this chasm, across this canyon, between us and God. And He died for us, and He therefore He went there, and therefore He can take us across this gap to the Father. So, He now reconciled us to the Father. But that's why it else says, now you all be reconciled to God. Because reconciliation requires two. It takes two to tango. So, God has done His part for us to be reconciled to Him. It's now our part to do our job, to do our part to be reconciled to God. Likewise, reconciliation takes two to do that. But it means, in this relationship, we have to submit to our role. Like Christ submitted to His role to fulfill that function, we have to submit our role in a family, in an organization, in the church. We all have to submit to our role. So what? So that we achieve the end result, the goal.

So, Christ, He did a voluntarily, voluntarily, gave in of His... He emptied Himself, as you're reading Philippians 2 verse 6. He voluntarily emptied Himself. He opened up His end and voluntarily submitted. We all have to submit. Now, sure, we're reading Ephesians 5. Let's go back to Ephesians, please. Ephesians 5. Ephesians 5, verse 22 and 24. And it says, wives submit your own husbands to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, so the wife is also Christ is the head of the church. He's the Savior of the body. Therefore, just that the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be subject to the husband. In other words, you've got to be submitted to that organization structure that God has decided. The same thing in an organization, a company. The employees have to submit to their managers. If the employees are saying, I'm not going to do, and I rebel and do their own thing, there's not going to be peace, and they're not going to achieve the end result. But does that mean that the husband does not have to submit? No. Because if you just read a little bit before in verse 21 of Ephesians 5, verse 21, says, submit to one another in the fear of God. So the husbands have to submit to one another. So there is a summation. So what it means? It means is there is a function. There is a place, a position, a certain function that each one of us has to do. And we have to fulfill our roles. We have to fulfill our functions. God created man to be an authority in his home. That's why God decided.

And so he's the head and the leader. Now as a head, like as a good manager for the services of a company, you're not just going to do what's better for you, you're going to do what's better for the company.

And what's better for the company is for the company to function properly. You're going to do what's better for the employees as well by default. Because if you don't do what's better for the employees, the company is not going to function and you're not going to achieve the end results. It's just that. It's just how a good company works. And how a good family, a healthy family works is that the leader is submissive to the needs of his employees. In this case, as a family, the leader, the husband, is submissive to the needs of the wife and he's paying attention to that. But he, as the head, has the final responsibility. He is accountable to make the final decision. But he does have, like any, every good manager, has the opportunity of hearing from the employees. A good manager may say, well, I think we should do this and the best way to make nuts and bolts is this way. But then the employees which are there on the factory line, they say, yeah, but excuse me, if I do it this way, it'll even be better. A good man says, hey, you've got a good point. What has the manager done? He submitted to the employee. He submitted to the employee. In other words, do the employees get an idea and input? Sure, the manager's final decision says, okay, we're going to do that so that there's unity. But that's how it should work in the family. So we all have an important role. The point is, if the husband is only doing the best for the wife, sure, he's the leader. He's making a decision, but he's doing what's the best for the wife.

The wife will only want to submit to him because he only wants to make a decision what's the best for her. So that becomes voluntary in both sides. It's not a dictatorial relationship. The wife has upset this whole thing around. He says, oh, no, you can't submit. No, because we submit to Christ voluntarily. Why? Because he only wants our good and our best. And we submit to God. Why? Because he wants to give us what's the best. That's why. But it doesn't mean, doesn't mean just because one submits the other, that one is inferior than the other, because in the end there is a spiritual equality.

In other words, the value of each one of us is equal. God values you as much as God values a minister. We all human beings and we, as spirit beings, will have equal value. What do you mean? I mean sons of God and daughters of God. Equal value. Spiritually speaking, sure, some will have a bigger responsibility. Some will rule over ten-thirty. Some will rule over five. Some will rule over two. That's fine. But the spiritual equality, there's no Jew or Gentile, no man or woman. They treat it all the same. But we have different functions. And look at 1 Corinthians 15. 1 Corinthians 15. 1 Corinthians chapter 15.

Verse 27. 1 Corinthians 15 verse 27.

He says, He has put all things under His feet.

But when He says, All things are put on a rim, it is evident that He put all things under Him. That He put all things under Him is fixed. Now, when all things are put, are made subject to Him, then the Son Himself will also be subject to Him, who has put all things under Him, that God may be old in all. You know what? The Son, Christ, will be subject to the Father for eternity. For eternity!

Is Christ upset about that? No! Because they love one another, they respect one another, they each one knows their own roles.

So that equal respect, mutual respect, shows that equality between them. But it does not mean that equality that one, that they both are of equal authority. One is higher authority, but they're equal, just like we all have to have an equality between us. So the woman is not inferior.

That's the point. The woman is not inferior.

In some areas, she might be superior. For instance, a woman might show more devotion, more sympathy. In some cases, some woman may be able to endure more pain than a man. A wife may have certain skills that a husband does not have, but then they work together.

It's like in a company, an employee may have certain skills that the manager does not have. But that's why the manager hired that employee, because he's got those skills. But they work together. So the wife's submission is designed to support the husband's leadership with her womanly talents and gifts, to help him serve better as a leader, as a servant leader.

It's not a question that one is better than the other.

So this helps us to understand that as we work together, we're not working together to dominate, to detite, to persecute. We are acting in love and mutual respect to one another. There is not a question of abuse. No. But this helps us understand the roles in the Church of God.

Look at 1 Corinthians 12, verse 18. 1 Corinthians 12, verse 18. 1 Corinthians 12, verse 18. But now God has set the members, each one of them, in the body, just as he pleased. That means in the spiritual body of Christ, which is the Church of God, the spiritual organism, God has put certain people in one position, and God put other people in a different position. Has it pleased God? That's his choice. God gave you certain talents, and God gave me different talents. That's his choice. Like the Master Potter. He will use some clay to make this type of vice, and you use some clay to make that type of vice. It's the decision of the Master Potter. That's the decision of God. Not as I want, but you know what?

The more I submit to his desire and do what he gives to me, the happier I'll be.

And same thing with the wife. The more you submit, and we all submit to our own God-given functions, the happier we will be. Look at verse 4 and 6 of the same chapter. 1 Corinthians 12, verse 4 and 6.

They are diversities of gifts, but the same spirit. They are diversities of talents. You have one talent. Somebody else got a different talent. Somebody can speak well. Somebody can do the thing well with the hands. Somebody's got a nice ability to maybe work with the PA or the sound system or do graphics for the church or whatever it may be. Each people have different gifts, but the same spirit. They are different of administration. In other words, they are differences of service, but the same Lord. They are diversities of activities, but the same God. You see, one is a hand, the other is a finger, the other is a toe, but the same body with the same head. Verse 7, but the manifestation of the spirit is given to each one for the profit of all.

You see, the body functions well when every part of the body is functioning well.

If I have my right hand saying, I am on strike because I should be in a toe, so your body's not going to work all that well.

But the hand is quite happy to be a hand, and the foot's quite happy to be a foot, and the eye is quite happy to be a eye, and when all are happy and doing their job, who benefits? The body. We all together. So we all have a role, and we all have to work together. So how can we succeed in our jobs? So whether it is our job as a husband and wife, our job as in the church, our role in the church, our role in our job in the community, is that we show some commitment, some commitment to what we are involved with. For instance, to the company that you're involved with, show that commitment to your husband and wife. You show full commitment for life as you vowed to do that. You show that commitment. You have the outgoing love and care for the other, and you have the attitude of submission, which is fulfilling your role for the better of the body. And this is really, in the end, spiritual conversion. This, in the end, is spiritual conversion. It's a commitment to love and to submission, and that, working together. It's not selfish. It's not vain. It's not accusatory. It's not only what I want, but it's a spiritual conversion which affects every relationship. Not just a marriage relationship, these principles, but affect every relationship in business, in the church, wherever they are. Turn with me to Proverbs 15 verse 3. Proverbs 15 verse 3.

Proverbs 15 verse 3.

It says, the highs of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and on the good. God is watching us. It starts in a family. It starts from there, in our jobs, in our families, in the community. God's watching us. Are we growing? Are we learning? Are our relationships growing? Obviously, there are many other principles that I could mention, but let's just keep those in mind as very important for our success into eternity. To be loyal, to be committed, to be able to love with Virginia and Afghan concern, attitude of giving, and with an attitude that we submit to one another to fulfill and execute our given roles that God has given to us.