What is Mature Christian Manhood?

There is no doubt that mature, responsible men seem to be a dying breed in the world that we live in today. We live in a very self-absorbed, me-generation. The Christian vision of real manhood is something that seems to be a distant memory, seems to be something that is being lost. Unfortunately, this is encouraged by our culture, including a government who decides to reward irresponsible behavior by sending checks to support every possible dysfunction and sin that human beings can possibly commit. Fifty years ago, the culture had a different image of the male, of the father of the home. I grew up with shows like Leave It to Beaver and Father Knows Best and other shows which today people laugh at. But they were idealistic shows. And by the way, if you want to achieve greatness in something, you have to be idealistic. Because idealistic gives you a goal. It gives you something to strive for, then you're not there yet. So those shows are considered idealistic, but in those shows, Dad actually worked for a living. Dad, though he wasn't perfect, was usually patient with the children. He usually had a responsible relationship with his wife. If Leave It to Beaver, we're on TV today. Of course, Ward, who was the dad, would be living with his girlfriend in another city. June would be working two jobs. Beaver would be an opiate addict, and Wally would be deciding if he's a girl. That's how much our culture has changed in just 50 years. Hollywood portrays men today as insensitive, brutish jerks. We might even say like Neanderthals. Insensitive, brutish jerks. It would be very easy to criticize Hollywood for this stereotype that it has today of men, but I have to say in all candidness that far too many men today work very hard to uphold the Hollywood image. The U.S. national average for children born out of wedlock in the United States, which is all peoples, all races, all everything together in the United States in 2014, were 40% of children, 4 out of 10, being born out of wedlock. In some minority communities, it's over 70% now in the United States. We appear to have a lot of sperm donors in this country, but we appear to have very few responsible fathers and real men. And that's what I'd like to talk about today. We have a culture that glorifies promiscuity, and it defines manhood, or in some western cultures, machismo as swagger and dominance, and how many women you can produce children by. A few years ago, a former French prime minister died, and his funeral was by his casket, was his wife of 40 years standing next to his mistress holding hands. They were both so sad that he had died.

But it's a kind of culture that we've degenerated into in the western world today. Here are some more examples. The U.S. Department of Education statistics show that men who enroll in college at whatever age are more likely than women to drop out, and they graduate at lower rates. This coming fall, according to the U.S. Department of Education, women are expected to comprise 56% of students on campuses nationwide, according to the U.S. Department of Education. Some 2.2 million fewer men than women will be enrolled in college this year, and the trend shows no sign of abating.

From an article in Bloomberg News on January 10, 2020, it says women have replaced men as the majority of job holders and the roles their choosing signals a labor market shift. You see, the jobs that women are getting into are the professions now. Doctors, lawyers, what we might call the professions accountants, etc., etc. Continuing the article, quote, women held 50.4% of nonfarm payroll positions in December, the highest share since 2010, according to the Labor Department data Friday. Continuing, quote, this indicates that women are picking up the slack created by men exiting or not entering the workforce where close to 100% of working men used to participate in back in the 1950s, not that figure's 89%. Some of the reasons, economists cite multiple reasons, lower demand and wages for unskilled, uneducated workers, and an opioid crisis that disproportionately affects men, meaning more men are suffering from opiate addiction and can't keep a job than females.

The world doesn't understand what mature Christian manhood even is anymore. It's something that's totally being lost. Part of that is occurring because of the transgender movement, and the idea of the transgender movement is to blur the distinction between the genders into being fluid, meaning there's really no significance or difference into being either male, female, or one of the other 58 genders that have now been invented by the movement. Well, today I would like to talk about the question or the qualities of mature Christian manhood.

Next time, I'd like to talk about the qualities of mature Christian womanhood. But today, we'll talk about us men. When we use the word maturity, maturity is defined as the state or quality of being fully grown or developed. And today I'd like to discuss from a biblical perspective just what mature spiritual Christian manhood really is. The Bible definition of a mature man is one who grows beyond the base selfish instincts of an animal and learns to fulfill his role in life as a stable and responsible husband, father, brother, and son. So let's begin. The first point I want to mention is that a mature man seeks daily to reflect the lifestyle and conduct of a Christian disciple. Let's go to 2 Corinthians 5 and verse 17. Again, point number one I want to bring out is that a mature man seeks to reflect the lifestyle and conduct of a Christian disciple. He doesn't seek to find out what they're doing in Hollywood, or what the politicians say is okay, or what the Supreme Court is deemed is acceptable or legal. That's not their standard. That's not the values that Christian manhood is or has. 2 Corinthians chapter 5 and verse 17. Paul was inspired to write, therefore, if anyone is in Christ, and this obviously would include men, he is a new creation. Old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new. When one comes to Christ, they are never expected to remain the same. We come to Christ repentant. We come to Christ humble. But we are expected to grow from that point on. Yes, mature men have the same temptations and urges as other men. The difference is that mature Christian men hold themselves accountable for their conduct. They strive to be renewed daily. Each and every day they try to get back to being grounded, the phrase Paul uses here, in Christ. They have a deep sense of loyalty and respect for their spouses and for their family. They would not do anything to hurt the people who count on them, the people who need them, their spouses, their children. I want you to notice the reference to in Christ. Jesus is our role model. Not Hollywood celebrities, not politicians, not perverted cultural norms, not what some magazine may say. Jesus is our role model. I might also add that Jesus is our role model, not Moses, not David from the Old Testament, not biblical kings or prophets. These were flawed individuals whom God worked through by His grace, but that does not mean they were intended to be role models for a Christian, particularly in the way that we treat our wives, or the way that we build relationships with our family. Colossians chapter 1 and verse 9, if you'll turn there with me, let's continue this theme. Colossians chapter 1 and verse 9.

Paul continues the rite to the church at Colossae. Verse 9, for this reason, we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding. So you see, those are the values of the mature Christian male. They are spiritual things, not physical things, not cultural ideas and philosophies and concepts, but wisdom and spiritual understanding from the Word of God. Verse 10, that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God. What does God want from us? He wants us to be continually increasing in the knowledge of God. Old things have passed away. We are supposed to be a new creation that daily is increasing in the knowledge of God, so that we can be better husbands, so that we can be better fathers. I'm going to read verse 10 from the translation of God's Word. We ask this so that you will live the kind of lives that prove you belong to the Lord, then you will want to please Him in every way as you grow, in producing every kind of good work by this knowledge about God. You see, men, God wants us to please Him, and we can only please Him. We can only grow in the grace and knowledge and wisdom of God. We can only fulfill our rules as husbands and fathers if we love His commandments. Jesus said in John chapter 14 and verse 15, If you love me, keep my commandments. Breaking vows and promises is not pleasing God or showing love to anyone. Shurking our responsibilities as a husband or father is not pleasing God. Avoiding the fact that we are financially, emotionally, and physically accountable for our actions and what we do in trying to avoid those things is not pleasing God. What is pleasing God is when we rein in our selfishness and our animal instinct, and we filter out those that are vain and self-centered, harmful to others, and thoroughly and completely carnal. Again, the proper role model is Jesus Christ, who, if you look into the Gospels, you'll see that He demonstrated multiple healthy relationships with both genders, with both men and women. He had positive, healthy, loving relationships with them all. He held Himself accountable for the things that He did and said, Christ sacrificed His will for the Father's will. He sacrificed what He wanted so that you and I, His brothers and sisters spiritually, could benefit from His example and from His presence. How about us men? Are we sacrificing daily in our families? Are we setting the right example? Are we following the example of Jesus Christ? Let's go to 1 Thessalonians 4 and verse 1. Get down to something here that is very, very difficult for men today because of the rampant curse and scourge of pornography. I think I mentioned you a few years ago. I read an article, and the article said that military commissaries were taking Playboy and Penthouse magazine out of the commissaries. And at first I thought, wow, that's a step in the right direction. Good for someone having the guts to say, we're not going to have these in our military commissaries anymore. Bravo! Then I read down a little further. It said, they're removing them because they're not selling anymore and they want to use that space for something more profitable. You see, because of free pornography, no one is buying the magazines anymore. Well, it took all the air out of my sayus. But the point is that truly is a terrible problem and scourge in our country and in our world today. 1 Thessalonians 4, verse 1, finally, brethren, we urge and exhort in the Lord Jesus that you should abound more and more. In other words, you should keep growing, keep growing spiritually, keep growing in wisdom.

But you should abound more and more just as you have received from us how you ought to walk and to please God. For you know what commandments He gave you through the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, your sanctification that you should abstain from sexual immorality. And again, if you live in the 21st century, you are just absolutely bombarded continually. Television, the internet, social media, it's everywhere.

Verse 4, at each of you should know how to possess his own vessel, and sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God, that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter because the Lord is the avenger of all such. So Paul is saying you want to play around, you want to cut corners, you want to do those kinds of things, there's a price you pay for it.

God is the avenger. They had a study a few years ago where they took college males, and for 30 minutes they showed them pornography. And at the end of that 30 minutes, those males had totally redefined their definition of rape. After watching pornography, they said, rape's not bad. Women enjoy it. Women ask for it. Secretly, they're happy to be raped. And how do these college males get to that point? By being desensitized by watching pornography, they appear to present an image that women actually enjoy being raped.

This is the desensitization that goes on in our culture all the time. Continuing, the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified, for God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness. There are now a lot of pornography addicts that are getting mental treatment, because they've watched so much pornography, their minds have been so distorted by what they see. They no longer can have normal, satisfying sex lives with their wives, because their whole concept of what sex is and what is a turn-on has been completely distorted and warped.

Verse 4, from the New Century Version, he wants each of you to learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable. Abstaining from sexual morality, of course, includes more than just fornication or adultery. It includes sexually fantasizing about another person, Jesus said, in Matthew 5, verse 28, But I say to you, whoever looks at a woman, to lust on her is already committed adultery with her in his heart.

But it not only includes that again, it also includes pornography, which is a form of voyeurism, after all. Now, God totally understands men are highly charged sexual beings. After all, he made us to be highly charged sexual beings. But the qualities that separate humankind from acting like stray dogs is self-control and respect for our personal obligations rather than being controlled by an animal instinct. Now, I have to say, in all fairness, I use the comparison between some people and stray dogs. Some people that I've known, I owe a personal apology to stray dogs.

Fantasizing about illicit sexual experiences is not holy. It's not honorable. Mator Christian men also meet their financial obligations. They financially support their families. They provide financial and emotional moral support to their children, whether they are married to their mother or not. You see, a Christian male feels a sense of obligation.

I contributed to bring this human being into the world. I have a moral obligation to support that child financially, emotionally, in any way that I can. I get a little personal here about my own life. My mother and father had difficulties before I was even conceived and born. They got together for a while after being separated, and voila, here I am. But unfortunately, the stresses of yet another additional child on a marriage that was already shaky didn't help their relationship, and they divorced. My own biological father purposely went from job to job, avoided and denied court orders, and refused to pay child support to my mother.

For myself, or my older brother, or my older sister, just out of spite. And of course, the laws were so stacked against women back in the mid- and late-fifties, her chance of collecting any child support was slim or none. But mature Christian men realize what their obligations and their responsibilities are. They pay their bills on time, unless there are unique circumstances. And obviously, if we go through a health crisis, or if something we get laid off, or something happens in our life, sometimes we can't do that. But beyond those situations, Christian men pay their bills in a timely way, if at all possible. They don't cheat on their taxes. They don't go through life trying to get something for nothing.

They work hard for the most important things in their life, including the love of others and their own material gain, the things that they acquire in life. They work hard to achieve those things. The second point I would like to mention is that a mature man is a man of biblical faith. A mature Christian man is a man of biblical faith.

Romans 5 and verse 1, if you'll turn there with me. Romans 5 and verse 1.

Paul writes here, to the church in Rome, Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we also have access by faith into His grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Mature Christian men live by faith. They don't try to have an answer for everything.

They don't feel like they need to have an answer for everything. They're humble enough to admit when they don't know everything. A mature Christian man makes a lot of bad decisions, and he is humble enough to admit those bad and poor decisions that he makes. Sometimes in conversations with my wife, I will mention to her something, a decision that I made about someone or something, and I'll tell her very candidly, I made a mistake. I shouldn't have done that. That comes from self-reflection. That comes from realizing that some things in life are intended to be unknowable. And you can only make the best decision you can with the facts that you have at that time. And sometimes that will lead you to make mistakes.

But to candidly and humbly admit those mistakes that you make with your wife and with your family. Mature Christian men learn that there are certain things that you have to leave in God's hands after you've done all that you can do. They don't equate physical strength with security, because physical strength diminishes as we get older. No matter how much we work out, we're not going to be 25 again.

Mature Christian men don't equate money with security, because they know it can be gone tomorrow. Stock market crash, whatever. Everything they have can be wiped out tomorrow. Mature Christian men don't equate running around with a girl half their age as security, because 100 years from now, they will both be dust and ashes. It's very short-lived. Mature Christian men equate their relationship with God. That is, their faith is their security. It's their security for today, and it's their security and promise for tomorrow. That reminds me of the story. But a doctor who goes in Walmart and sees one of his patients who's hard of hearing, shopping, a 90-year-old patient of his, and he's got a 25-year-old girl clinging to his arm.

He looks, and they both have shiny, brand-new wedding rings on. He says to the 90-year-old man, he says, Wow! What's going on here? The old man says to him, well, doctor, I just followed your advice. You told me find a hot mama and be carefree. The doctor says, I didn't tell you that. I said, you've got a heart murmur. Be careful! So my point is running around with a trophy wife or some young babe in your arm to feel good or feel like you're young again is very short-lived. Another point I'd like to bring out is that a mature man is stable, emotionally stable and secure.

Ephesians 4, verse 11. Let's turn there together. Ephesians 4, verse 11.

Paul wrote, And he himself, speaking of Christ, gave some to the apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints, for the work of the ministry, and for edifying the body of Christ, so he said God provided ministry to help grow and build the body of Christ, till we all come into the unity of the faith and the knowledge of the Son of God to a perfect man. So we'll all need ministry until we become perfect, is what Paul is saying, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, that we should no longer be children.

That's an important concept for being a mature Christian man. Stop acting like a child. If we don't get our way, if something goes wrong, something comes up that was unexpected, to demonstrate maturity, stability in those kinds of situations. Women usually have their hands filled with other children. They don't need the additional burden of a husband who is acting like a child. That we should no longer be children tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting. But speaking the truth in love may grow up in all things into him who is the head.

Christ may grow up to become like the head himself, our ultimate example, and that is Jesus Christ. And of course, this verse applies to all of you young unmarried men, all of you male teens who are in the audience. Your goal in your situation in life is, of course, to get a good education, to take your education seriously, and take it as far and as seriously as you can go, according to your interest and your financial abilities, to get a really good education. And in that phase in your life, learn good decision-making skills. Because a great life isn't one in which everyone made perfect decisions all the time. It's one in which a person learned primarily to make a lot of good, small decisions, and over the years they add up to great blessings and provide some great things for us. Learning decision-making skills is essential when you're growing up, when you're a teenager, when you're a young adult before you get married, because once you do get married, you face some very difficult challenges in life. And, of course, being a young unmarried man or a teen, one of the things you can do to serve yourself well is to learn a marketable skill. Develop a talent that's worth paying for. Learn to do something that has value to someone else that they'll write a paycheck for what you do. Or, if you want to be entrepreneurial, that's wonderful. God bless you if you want to be an entrepreneur and start your own business and do your own thing. Just keep in mind that people pay for value. They don't pay you simply because you exist. And, of course, as a young adult or a young teen, it's the time in life to prepare for greater responsibilities that come along with marriage, and come along with being a father. A mature man is stable in his thoughts and emotions. He doesn't act like a spoiled child. I want you to think of this verse more than just referring to the body of Christ we just read. Make it personal, because we live in a world that's very distorted, has all kinds of inventing human philosophies. We're told that a little adultery is good for a marriage relationship. We're told that perverse sexual activity is just an alternative lifestyle. It's equal to marriage. It's just different. And, after all, who are you to judge? These are the messages that our culture sends us today. A mature man measures himself not against other men, not against cultural expectations, not against what's on TV or football players are doing, or singers or actors are doing, or Hollywood says it's okay, or our politicians do. That measure that they have is against the standard of Jesus Christ.

1 Corinthians 11, verse 3. Scripture that many people misunderstand and distort. I think I would like to cover today. I appreciate Mr. Graham covering this last Sabbath. He did a great job, and I just wanted to add a few things to what he said. This sermon, actually, I had completed two weeks ago before I got sick, so it's been delayed a couple of weeks. To the congregation Corinth. Paul says, but I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. So we're all under authority to one degree or another. What does it mean to be a head? Well, a lot of people want to define this as, well, the head means that I'm an authority. I'm the big shot. I'm the one who's going to make all the decisions, because I'm the head. I'm going to be in control. I'm going to command the situation in my family. Well, let me ask you a few questions. As Christ is our head man, that's what Paul just said, when is the last time Christ audibly screamed at you? When's the last time Christ humiliated you in front of others? In front of other people. When's the last time as your head that a hand came out of heaven and physically struck you? I'll answer that for you. Never! And Christ is our head. So we need to stop thinking of the head as something that has all of this great authority. When we think of being the head of something, we should be thinking of accountability we have in that role, not the authority we have in that role. Christ patiently works with us and He gives us room and time to grow. Yes, He gives us His word that we may be convicted by the messages we hear and prodded to grow by His Holy Spirit. But as our head, Jesus Christ, doesn't harangue you. He's never slapped you. He's never threatened to leave you. He's never rejected any of His responsibilities toward you, men. And neither should we towards our wives because we have been called to be the head of our families. So again, instead of looking at it as some type of command and control authority, it takes on a whole different picture. If we look at being the head, it's the one who is responsible and accountable for the way the family operates and what's going on. I think that's very, very important. Let's read 1 Corinthians 11.3 again. But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

So again, what does it mean here to be the head? Rather than just limiting it to the word authority or who gets to be in charge, it's better to think about what a head actually does. The head is the part of the body that makes sure the other parts are healthy. It's the rational part that when your foot hurts or something else is going on in your body, it says, Whoa, that's not good. Wait a minute. What can I rationally do to help stop the pain? To help heal that area of the body that's struggling? It supports our needs. It gives our body help and direction when we are confused, when our body is ill or struggling with some kind of confusion. It's a genuine concern for the love of the other parts of the body. The last time you were sick, did your head act towards the other parts of the body in a compassionate and caring way? Sure it did. We take care of our own body. We are concerned about things that we see that don't feel right or look right, and we check into that.

That's a good thing. That's how we should feel about being the head of our families. I think that's very important. Just a few words about authority. Men often feel, and I've heard this many years in the ministry, that their wives won't allow them to be the head of the house. My wife won't allow me. She's trying to control me. She's always got an opinion on everything. She's always contradicting me.

A couple of things to think about. Number one, is what kind of an example do we set in being under the authority of Jesus Christ? Are we setting a spiritual example to her? Of a person of faith? Of a person who is stable? Of a person who's a good provider? Of a person who's a good listener?

So, what are we modeling to our wives that may, frankly, be causing some of that issue? Number two, what's our actual track record? If we believe we're an authority over our family, then we have a moral obligation to be responsible and accountable for the decisions that we make. It's hard for a woman to submit and respect an authority figure who makes a lot of decisions that routinely hurt the entire family. It becomes a credibility issue. And if we just make a lot of mistakes, a lot of really bad mistakes, over a period of time, we lose our credibility as head of the household.

So, the moral of the story is that men have a spiritual responsibility to make difficult decisions. Somebody's got to make it. As I've said before, anything in nature that has two heads is a freak. You can go to some carnivals and you can see stuffed animals that were the two-headed cows. They're dead for good reason.

But you might find in nature a two-headed snake. It won't live very long. It won't have a normal lifespan because it's a freak. God understands that. And someones have to have the accountability and responsibility sometimes to make a really doth decision. But that decision should be made after things have been discussed, and all opinions have been heard, and all the facts have been presented, and all the decisions have been shared together. And then the head, whom God has designated to be the husband, makes themself accountable for his decision as a mature man. And if you make a mistake, admit that you're wrong. Don't be ashamed to say you're sorry when it's necessary. To apologize for hurting others when you've made a decision that has hurt the entire family. Be humble enough to change a poor decision when it's obvious it was a bad decision. Don't do stubborn to say, well, no, I made the decision and we're going to stick with this no matter how much it hurts everybody. That's not true manhood. That's being an emotional coward. That's being stubborn and not wanting to admit that you're wrong and that you made a mistake. Deuteronomy chapter 11 and verse 18. If you'll turn there with me. Deuteronomy chapter 11 and verse 18. Instruction given to the husbands, the fathers of the Old Testament, about teaching their children. And that's a very important role that we have as fathers and husbands. Again, whether we're living with the child's mother or not. Deuteronomy chapter 11 and verse 18. Therefore you shall lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul. That's the word of God, of course. And bind them as a sign in your hand. They shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, when you rise up and you shall write them on the doorpost of your house and on your gates. Now as New Covenant Christians, God's law is supposed to be written in our hearts because of the gift of the Holy Spirit. That's what Hebrews chapter 8 verse 10 says. God's law is written in our hearts.

So we have no need for signs and frontlets and written doorposts. Besides, if you've ever had a motivational poster that you've put up in front of your desk, you know that after a week you stop noticing or looking at it anyway, even though it's sitting there all of the time. So it doesn't really have a long-term benefit anyway. A mature Christian man teaches his children God's way of life by personal example, by casual daily discussion, not by, all right, it's now Dad is going to give his daily lecture for an hour. All right, everyone, sit down. I'm going to open my Bible and tell you what God's law is. No, the best form of education is continuous daily casual discussion by our examples, by pointing out things that are being done and the harm that they produce by finding good things and praising the good things within the family or within the neighborhood or whatever to reinforce the rightness of God's way of life. A mature Christian man teaches his children God's way by that personal example. At first, a father is a teacher and a disciplinarian, but as the children grow, he should instead become a coach and hopefully a trusted advisor.

Turn with me, if you would, to Proverbs chapter 31 verse 11. For years, I've heard people get sermons and talk about the Proverbs 31 wife or the Proverbs 31 woman. I said, that's easy! I'm going to give you the answer. I know that answer. That's easy! You want a Proverbs 31 woman? You just need to become a Proverbs chapter 1 through 30 man.

That's all it takes. Let's look at some scriptures and see how a good husband, a Proverbs chapter 1 through 30 man, helps his wife to reach her full potential. It makes it possible for her to reach her full potential. What can a husband do to help his wife become the excellent wife? There's a phrase used in some translations in Proverbs 31. Alright, here in verse 11. The heart of her husband safely trusts her so he will have no lack of gain. I'm going to read this from the New Century version. I think it makes it more clear. Her husband trusts her completely with her. He has everything he needs. You see, the husband, he's not a control freak. He doesn't treat her like she's an imbecile. She's given personal space. She's given pocket money. She's given the ability to fulfill her own personal goals and desires in life. It's not about control. Her presence in his life is everything he needs to be satisfied. He knows it, and he's made it clear to her that she is everything that he needs. He doesn't need a mistress. He doesn't need porn. He doesn't need anything else to fill his needs. His wife is his best friend. That's what this verse is saying. That gives her the ability to reach her goals and to reach a more fulfilling potential. Let's drop down now to verse 23, another characteristic that as men we should consider. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. I'm going to read this again from the new century version. Her husband is known at the city meetings where he makes decisions as one of the leaders of the land. Her husband sets the right example of being involved in things and in serving others. He's respected, stable, has credibility in his community, in his church community, in his local community, where he lives with his family. He's known. He has a reputation of being a good man, a good provider, a responsible person.

That's so important. That also helps her to reach her potential.

Let's drop down now to verse 25. Take a look at just another verse here.

Proverbs 31-25, strength and honor are her clothing. She shall rejoice in time to come. I'm going to read this again from the new century version. She is strong and is respected by the people. She looks forward to the future with joy. She has something to live for. She's not battered at home, humiliated, held back, treated like an imposol. No, she lives a good, abundant life. She looks into the future and she's happy about the future.

She sees herself in joy, living a happy, abundant life. Now and ultimately for all eternity as a member of the family of God.

From her husband, she receives praise and encouragement. She feels good about herself and her future. Her husband gives her space and the ability to achieve her own goals. She's not trying to control her thoughts, control her time, control all the money, control, control, control. She knows her future is bright because it is. That's what God's plan is. Now next time we'll take a look in the same chapter for some characteristics of the excellent wife. I have one more scripture today as we close out this sermon. If you'll turn to me to 1 Peter chapter 3 and verse 7. It's my final scripture today.

Again, I want to clarify a myth that sometimes circulates around religious people, particularly men who are control-oriented or domineering or try to be intimidating, try to manage and control their families through fear and intimidation instead of love and compassion.

1 Peter chapter 3 verse 7. Peter writes, It's two people trying to live a life in harmony in a family with their own background, their own goals, their own goals, and their own goals. Their own goals, their own talents, their own gifts, working together as a team to achieve the grace of life. And of course, in context, eternal life. Again, I want you to notice it says to dwell with them and with understanding. That means be a good listener. This means making an effort to communicate with our wives. They need respect. They need someone to talk to. It's our role to be there, to listen, to take time to understand their concerns. Women need encouragement and appreciation for all they do. They are great multitaskers. Unlike many of us men, they don't become martyrs when they get sick. When they become sick, they still have to clean the floor and wash the dishes and do all of the household duties that are their role. And sometimes when they're younger, take care of the children's needs. The children don't have any empathy for mom being sick. So they have a lot on their plate. And I might add, before I forget, that all household duties should be divided up between husband and wife.

The wife should not be expected to wash, clean, cook exclusively and do all of those things while we sit on our lazy boy and watch TV. There are things that we can do too, and should, to set the right example. That's also being the head of the family, being a good example.

Women need encouragement and appreciation for all they do. They have a tendency to internalize things more deeply than men do, and then gets proven by numerous studies. Their frustrations go deep into the soul. For most men, not so much. From childhood, we're taught to be superficial, to be bluff, fake, and act our way through problems without allowing anything to get too deep inside of us.

Men, please don't attempt to tell your wife everything she should do. Please don't attempt to make all decisions for your wife. As a coach and partner, help her, encourage her to make her own decisions.

And men, above all, before you criticize your wife for all of her faults and all of her weaknesses, remember, it's those same faults and weaknesses that stopped her from finding a better husband.

So cut her some slack. It's said here in 1 Peter chapter 3 that the woman is the weaker vessel. I'm amazed at how many people don't seem to have a clue what that scripture is talking about. It's not saying women are inferior intellectually or spiritually. It's saying that we should give honor to them as a weaker vessel. Let me explain. Women, typically, are smaller than males. No doubt about it. They typically don't have the same brute upper body strength that we have. But allow me to explain what Paul means by giving you an example. If I had two wine goblets here, and one was made of hardened stainless steel, and the other was made of solid 14-carat gold. You know what? Both vessels, indeed, they hold water. However, the beautiful and elegant gold one is far more fragile. If I press hard enough, if you take something that's solid gold and you press hard enough with your nail, you can literally scratch into the gold. If you bite into it, you can leave teeth marks into gold. It, indeed, is a much softer metal. That doesn't mean it's inferior, oh, contrare. In that case, it has far greater worth than the stainless steel goblet, even though it's harder. Gold is honored because it's rare and beautiful, even though it's a very soft element. And when we read this scripture, that's what we should think about in our relationship with our wives. Well, I've talked enough about this topic today. Today, we have discussed the qualities of mature Christian manhood. This is something all of us males need to be continually growing toward, and it is a process.

Next time, I'd like to discuss the qualities of a mature Christian woman. Now, I'm personally not qualified to discuss that topic. However, thankfully, I've witnessed some wonderful examples of godly women in my lifetime that, by their example, they have helped me to prepare for that message. I wish all of you a wonderful and a fulfilling Sabbath day.