How God Rears His Children

We all look back and think of the home we grew up in. And you may consider, as I do, that you had excellent parents, loving parents. I just marvel at some of the things we kids did and that my parents kept it together as well as they could. And, you know, when my dad let me off at the airport, Oklahoma City, that day, I had a chance to tell him one more time that I was so thankful to have had him as my dad. I didn't know it was going to be the last time I'd ever seen him. And I told him that I loved him. And he told me that he loved me. And I knew his memory was going when he said that you never gave your mother or me one ounce of trouble. And I realized, he has forgotten. He has forgotten.

But also, in a congregation like this, we surely have people who have grown up, and they look back at the parenting that they were products of. And it's not those fond, wonderful feelings. And, in fact, we have some in the church who had experiences that were so painful that they really struggled to relate to this concept that God is our Father, and that Christ is our elder brother there to help us along the way.

But parenting, parenting molds us. And it forms a family unit. And the family unit, as we've heard so many times, is the building block of a healthy society. And when the family unit is broken down, as is happening rapidly in our country, then it seems children suffer the most, because it is the family that should mold them for life. Now, the good news for all of us is that we have a most perfect Heavenly Father, God the Father.

Let's notice in Isaiah 64 and in verse 8 that God is about the business of molding us as His works. He works in our lives to form us the way that He wants us to be. Isaiah 64 verse 8, But now, O Lord, You are our Father, we are the clay, and You our potter, and all we are the work of Your hand. And God allows us through our lives to go through all types of experiences. We have the times that we look back with the fondest memories of things that have happened. And we look back, and we remember the painful ones. It seems like with the years, some of the pain, we tend to start forgetting.

But we go back, and we realize that God is molding and God is shaping us. And sometimes we go through all kinds of fiery trials, because it seems there are some things we never learn unless we hurt. And yet again, God is there.

He is that potter working in each individual life. And God rears His children. Please just make a note of this passage, Ephesians 3 verses 14 and 15. Ephesians 3 verses 14 and 15. And that's where it talks about the whole family in heaven and earth is named after God. God is building a family, and the mother is our church. The church is a mother. And these are all familial terms that God uses.

And also, 1 John, just please make a note of this one, 1 John 3 verses 1 and 2, because that's where John wrote as far as the fact that now we are the children of God. And then the second verse, he spoke of how we will see Him as He is. So God is building a family, and that means that God is rearing children.

And the question I have for you is, how does God rear His children? How does God raise children? And when we look at that, I think we have insight into what God would ask of us as we have little ones, or maybe not so little ones, that we are rearing, seeking to lead and guide and bring up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Our entire lives, as long as we live, we will have impact upon these children. It doesn't matter if they are 50 or 60 or 70 years old in some cases, they still need that extended family. When we look at God, God, a lot of times you look at a child and you have an insight into the family. Teachers get a chance to do that. I've happened to know teachers who talked about that, you know, I wondered why so-and-so student was that way, and then the parents came in for a consultation.

Then I understood. Some of you are smiling at that. You've been there, done that. But we look at God, and God has the first of the first fruits. Jesus Christ is His Son, as the analogy. I know there are many analogies, but He did a wonderful job, and Jesus was perfectly submissive to, supportive of, and fully loved His Father and loved His Father.

But parenting, I think God enjoys the process, even though surely we do a lot of things that are very disappointing to Him. We make mistakes, and those mistakes are called sin, and it's an infraction, a breaking of, a transgression of the law of God. We act in a lawless way, sometime. But God is the God of patience, and He wants all to come to repentance. He wants all to come to a knowledge of the truth, and He wants all who possibly can be added to His very family. And if God has fun rearing children, God help us do the same. Sometimes when you're in that phase, you have children at home.

Sometimes you can forget that. It is possible. And I think we need to remember how the Bible refers to children, and what a great blessing they are. We look at how God works in training us. I'll divide it into three points, and we'll come back to these. Number one, we see that God loves us. God loves us. Number two, God lovingly teaches us. And number three, God lovingly corrects us. Because He wants us to be able to discern right from wrong, and then choose the right and struggle to do what is right.

And as we look at these three, loves teaches corrects. These are the most important facets of balanced, sensible child rearing as well. Because our children need to know we love them, and they need to be taught, and yes, they need to be guided down the path of life.

Now, you look at modern child rearing philosophies, and I think in my lifetime, it kind of goes in circles. And it goes full course. When I was real little, that was the day and age of Dr. Spock, and you know, just anything goes. And then it gets stricter, and then it, you know, just goes, society goes through these cycles. And now we have an ongoing, just secular governments, not just ours, but around the world. You have this all-out assault upon God, church, Bible, law, and that includes marriage, family. An all-out assault to break down the very fabric of what has made nations strong and great.

I saw a study earlier this year, and I didn't pay enough attention to it, and I let it get away from me. But the study concluded, kind of the summary statement was that if you spank a child, you will teach them to be violent. Well, now again, you need to know where they're coming from. If it's talking about abusive families where kids are getting hit and beat and kicked and bruised, then yeah, it's going to scar them for life. But if it's talking about what we would believe would be a proper, loving discipline, which every family is going to be different, we made lots of mistakes. Maybe I should say I made lots of mistakes. Once upon a time, thought that through spanking, we were going to make one of them be perfect. He proved me wrong. And each one is different. One was strong willed. One was if she sensed that we were displeased. It was devastating. You didn't have to say a thing. And then another one, his mind was circling around inside of a computer early on, and he was zoned out. And he was a totally different temperament. They're all different. And what may work with one doesn't work with others. And it's a part of the process we go through of learning. Isaiah chapter 3. Isaiah 3. And Isaiah writes a long time ago, but it is as though it has an insight into the way our society is today. Things are turned upside down. Isaiah 3 verses 11 and 12. Isaiah wrote, Woe unto the wicked! It shall be ill with him. For the reward of his hands shall be given him. And that speaks to the law of God. It's a living law. And if we break that law, we're going to automatically bring penalties on ourselves. Then Isaiah says, Ask for my people, children, are there oppressors, and women rule over them? O my people, they who lead you cause you to err and destroy the way of your paths. So we live in a society where male leadership has failed, is failing. There's a power, there's a void there, and so we have female leadership rising. We have children oppressing because, again, we're in that day and age where it's hands off, anything goes, let them go. Don't tell them anything that might give them a bad self-esteem, and don't give them a bad grade on a paper, and all of these things. But, again, let's tell you what, just make a note of this one. I realize I have too much material today.

2 Timothy 3, verses 1 through 5. 2 Timothy 3, verses 1 through 5. And that's where Paul, in writing Timothy, said that perilous days are going to come. And he listed many phrases like, men will be lovers of their own selves. But he also said that they would be disobedient to parents. And a little later he said, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God. A form of godliness. And so we see this. But God has a way of rearing us as His children. He uses love, and He teaches us so much. That's one of the beautiful things we all saw when we came to the church of God. We saw people who came, and I see Bibles open and notepads. And we came, and we're here to learn something. We're not here just to play church, to warm a chair. We're not here just to have a social event. Although we can enjoy that too. But we're here to come and learn. Because God began teaching us when He began calling us. And that education will never end. But also, God lovingly corrects us. As He seeks to train us in the way that we should go. So let's go back, and we'll start with point number one. And that is to love your children. God loves and cares for His children, and so we should love our children. We're going to look at some verses that underscore that God is love. And so we, as His children, should strive to walk that way of love. And we need to pass that along to our children, who are products of our own homes. John chapter 3, John 3, and notice verse 35.

John 3, verse 35. And here it simply says, The Father loves the Son, and has given all things into His hand. So God just openly expresses love for His Son, Jesus Christ. And we need to do the same with our children. We need to hear every day, many times a day, that they are loved. Some of you may be familiar with a couple of books written by the same author. The Church mentioned this probably 30 years ago. The books were probably written in the 1980s, but the principles given are just as valid today as they ever have been. And the author is Dr. Ross Campbell. Dr. Ross Campbell, the first one is how to really love your child, and the second one is how to really love your teenager. And he talks about how each individual has, as it were, this emotional well that needs to be filled up each day. And a child, especially a younger one, is going to be asking that question. They might ask it by their behavior. Does anybody love me? Does anybody notice? Does anybody care what I do? And so they might behave properly or otherwise to get an answer to that. And so Campbell had certain points, like spending time with a child, one-on-one time, of eye contact, of just the conversing with that child. The touching that is so important. Children need to be cuddled. They need to have their arm put around them. They need to be snuggled. They hunger for that. And so God is that way with us as well. 1 John 4, 1 John 4, verses 7 and 8.

1 John 4, verse 7, Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God. And everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. And so here it very clearly states, God is love. He has called us to be His own Spirit-led sons and daughters of God. And He wants us to learn that way and to pass it along to the next generation and the generation after that. Romans 8, Romans 8, verses 38 and 39.

Romans 8, verses 38 and 39.

Beautiful statement here. Because Paul had asked the question, what can separate us from the love of Christ? And the bottom line is, nothing can. The only thing you could say He leaves out is ourselves. We can neglect so great a salvation. We can grieve and hinder the Spirit of God as it seeks to work within us.

But verse 38, Now, one of the ways that God demonstrates His love to us is that in the Bible, He heaps a great deal of encouragement. He tells us that when I began a good work in you, I'm going to complete it. He tells us, like he told Joshua, be strong and of good courage. I'll never leave you. He tells us so many things. He told Christ that. Think of the baptism of Christ as the Holy Spirit, as it were, of a dove descending, and the voice that said, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased. I hope we tell our children that every day, every chance we have many times a day, if we possibly can, because they need to hear that. They need to have that need filled up within them. God encourages us, and encouragement says, I love you.

A child may outgrow your lap, but a child never outgrows your heart. They're going to need their parents to the last day, the last breath that parent has. Some of the ways that we can give encouragement. I've just scratched. I've got a few ideas written down here. Just tell your children often. You love them. I guess we've said that before. Don't be reluctant. Don't forget. Don't forget.

And you know, while we're at it, that child came about from a father and a mother. And we need to tell our spouse a great deal. And in the presence of children, tell your spouse, I love you. I appreciate you.

Another thought here is, look for opportunities to tell them how proud you are of them.

Maybe it was coming in and they have chores. They do the chores on their own. Maybe it's bringing home a great grade card. We've got a grandson that started sixth grade. He's in middle school now. We just got his first grade card, and it is wonderful. And I'm going to tell you what he's got. He's got his first grade card, and it is wonderful. Couldn't ask for much better. So, look for opportunities. There will be times when we need to correct their words, their actions. But look for every opportunity, large and small, to tell them how happy you are to be their parent. Another thought is, smile often at your children. Now, for anyone who has been down the parenting road, you realize there are those times when it just kind of clouds up and storms all over you. And you may not feel like smiling, but surely we can look for something. Find something to smile at that child, because just that simple action, that little effort, sends a message to a child that you love them, you appreciate them, and they make you happy. Another thought here is, catch your child being good. Catch your child being good. Look for times when they do things that they don't have to do. Maybe they help a little when getting off a bus. Maybe, maybe again, chores that they do without being reminded the third time. But let the child know you noticed and you appreciated it. Commend them for that. We need to look for more things to commend them for than we do to condemn them for. We get a lot more out of encouragement than we do a kick in the seat of the pants. I mean, you and I want to be treated that way. We should commend the children rather than correct and condemn all the time, although again, there are times for correction. Take a personal interest in their lives, their friends, their school, their activities. Any time you have a family, you have children grow up, they reach a point where they're marrying. Then they may marry someone who had a totally different experience. And what a wonderful blessing it is to then see them marry someone who had a family where somebody cooked for them and somebody wanted to know who their friends were and what kind of people are your friends and how are you doing at school. So get to know their friends and then give them a loving pat on the back, a quick squeeze, a little arm around their shoulders to demonstrate love, approval, and encouragement.

All right. Look for times to positively reinforce. Tell them, I knew you could do it. You're doing a great job. You're almost there. I'm proud of the way you're sticking with it because these things go a long way. Children thrive on positive attention. They need to be appreciated. They need to be loved. Okay. Number two, lovingly teach your children because God began teaching us as soon as He offered that invitation to us. And we opened it up and we responded. We teach children with love and God lovingly teaches us. There are ways we can do this. I think certainly one aspect is to set and live the right example first yourself.

Set the right example yourself. First of all, God teaches us by example. We read God is love. God is perfect in character. God is perfectly kind and merciful and tender and forgiving and considerate. And we've got some poems at home, but I think a lot of us are probably familiar with that old classic by Edgar Guest called Sermons We See. And in the lyrics he talks about that in the sermon the man's tongue may run too fast, but there's no mistaking what he is and what he does. And then at the end of each stanza he says, I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day. Example, they see what we do. And we'd better never forget that for good or for otherwise. They look to see what we're doing. We've got another poem at home somewhere. Children learn what they live. And it looks at both sides. If they live with love, they're going to learn to love. If they live with serving and giving to others, they're going to learn that. But then there's that other side. If they live with criticism, they're going to learn to critique and condemn. So, our example. And again, the example begins with the marriage. And hopefully we have two devoted to working together as a united front. And always are able to talk and get on the same page and have a consistent approach in dealing with a child. It's money in the bank for a child when they see a father and a mother who love each other and treasure each other and place the other one high on a pedestal. It teaches them something about life. They should never see us fighting, bickering, arguing, obviously with two people. We're going to see things differently, but there's a way to get away from the kids, certainly, where they don't hear you, and come to a decision together. And then both work together to make that decision work. John 5. And let's notice verses 19 and 20. John 5 verses 19 and 20.

When a child in our own homes watches us, and it's embarrassing when sometimes there's a word that comes out that they heard at home, or there's an action that comes out and they saw it at home. For the Father loves the Son and shows Him all things that He Himself does, and He will show Him greater works than these that you may marvel.

Jesus perfectly did the will of the Father. The Father completely loved and loves the Son. And it's important that in front of children we tell our spouse, we love, we hug, we kiss, we let them see affection. And a Father's involvement is critical. There are books written along that line how important it is and what success Satan is having.

You look at statistics today, and it is just skyrocketing the number of babies born in this country where it's not just out of wedlock, but there's no intention of wedlock. It's just somebody somewhere was a sperm donor and there's a baby now, and no concept of family. It's being eroded. It is refreshing. You still can go to some countries. You can go down in your Hispanic areas down through Latin America.

You can go to some Asian countries. And it seems like the family unit is still this nuclear family. They stick together. But at any rate, I think something else we can do here as far as teaching is provide a happy environment. And I underscore happy. You look at the Bible, for example, of families and marriages. It's kind of a bleak picture to me, really. Sometimes I wish there were a few couples that God would have held up and let us see inside their marriage and let us know what made it so great.

But it's like everyone that's covered. You might think, well, what about Isaac and Rebecca? Well, yeah, great and fine and good. But then they got the resources together and had a couple of kids. And later on, they played favorites.

And that's so devastating. You have a new child born to a family, there's always room for more love. There's always room for that. But God help us to never show favoritism. My oldest brother, Joe, many of you know him, his mother died five hours after he was born.

And then that year, my dad remarried my mother. And then Charles was born. I came along and then Jill four years after me. And in growing up, see, my mother married this Oklahoma farmer with a little baby boy. Thankfully, he had family right around there. My Aunt Margaret said, give me that boy. I'll take care of him. He's going to be just fine.

And he was. But all the years in growing up, my mother, if anything, was more defensive of Joe than of the three she gave birth to because he started life without a mother. And I always have been impressed by that. But a happy environment.

We have examples. We look at Jacob, married Rachel, Leah, and these other two women came in. Where are the examples of happy marriages? New Testament, I think, Priscilla and Aquila. They certainly were a powerful team to work together in the ministry, but we don't know that much about them. But we know nothing about Peter's marriage except that he had a wife and had a mother-in-law. That's about all we know. But creating a happy environment is something I believe God would want us to do. We do this through playing with them. We do this through spending that quality time together.

If we aren't together, then we're not going to have those memories for a lifetime. My good friend John Carlek out in the Bakersfield, California church, he has reminded me of a sermon. I'm still impressed. He listened, but at any rate, a sermon I gave, but at one place I said, especially to fathers, if you've got to go somewhere, always take a kid, if possible. You've got to run to Lowe's, get a few supplies to fix something at home, take a kid.

Take two. Always take a kid. Because otherwise you turn around in your life story, you look back, and it's kind of like that tragic song, Cats in the Cradle. If you remember those words, the guy, the little boy, I want to be like you, dad. You know, I want to be like you. Well, at the end of his life, when he had time, when his life situation was different, he would call his own son, and then the son had all these things, all these commitments, and a tragic song.

But always take a kid. Take them fishing. Take them camping. Whatever it is that you're involved in, play sports with them. Take them on a campout. I think our kids cherished those times in California, where those summers, we were far, far away from home. But we had a special place up in the mountains. The road ended at 8,300 feet elevation.

There was a cascading stream, a trout pond, and a campground. And one month, dad and Ben would go. Next month, dad and Jenny would go. Next month, dad and John. And we had a ball. And I'm glad I did that. I have those fond memories. But anyhow, don't let the years get away. But make their life, make the home, the environment happy.

Well, in teaching, though, we also have to teach the true spiritual values. Let's go back to Deuteronomy again. We heard a bit there in the sermon head, but Deuteronomy 11. And this is just one example. There are a number of places where Moses is telling the children of Israel, here it is, late in his life. He is not going to go across the Jordan with them into the Promised Land. God allowed him to see it. But here we have this book that's given. It's the parting words, the final words of Moses to the children of Israel. And they were a different people. This is 40 years down the line. That older generation that rebelled repeatedly. They died in the wilderness. And there finally was a people who were going to follow the lead of God through Joshua. But he reminded them many times. You've got to teach your children. Chapter 11 of Deuteronomy, verse 18.

When you lie down and when you rise up, and you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, that your days and the days of your children may be multiplied in the land of which the Lord swore to your fathers to give them, like the days of the heavens above the earth. For if you carefully keep all these commandments, which I command you to do, to love the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways and to hold fast to Him, and then it goes on with the blessings that God would drive out the nations from before them. But I think we see the point there. Training children, teaching them the stories of the Bible, making their own stories built around those, putting it on their level, sowing seeds continually, that somewhere down the line we pray will germinate. Let's go to 2 Timothy. 2 Timothy chapter 1.

Timothy, I'd like to know more about Timothy. He mentions here his mother and his grandmother. He doesn't mention father and grandfather.

Notice what Paul says to Timothy. 2 Timothy 1 verse 5. When I called a remembrance, the genuine faith that is in you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also, then he reminded him. Stir up that gift of God that is in him. Notice chapter 3 verse 15. Verse 15, And that from childhood you have known the holy scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith, which is in Christ Jesus. Someone had to teach Timothy the holy scriptures from an early age, from a child he knew the Word of God. And that, of course, is modeled for us.

Who knows how many hundreds, how many thousands of people Timothy may have had impact on?

But we teach children biblical values. The true nature of strength, wisdom, self-control. The Proverb tells us that the one who can control himself is greater than the mighty one who takes the city.

We teach them love, concern for other people. We teach them submission. If they don't learn submission, they'll never be able to keep a job. We teach them devotion to family, devotion to God.

We teach them... it starts with head knowledge, but then it progresses to comprehension. They need to understand it. They need to have that question, why, answered for everything that we teach them.

They need to know why, because you see, they're going to be getting to a point where they're going to weigh the pros and the cons. Is it good and right? Is it evil?

And they need to have all the information they can to hopefully choose what is right and then strive to do it.

We can also teach them that they are a part of the larger, the grander family of God. That they're in our little family now, but as they grow and mature, we pray that there will be a time when they will reach out to develop a relationship with God, personally.

We teach them Bible stories. We teach them respect for God, for what God says is holy. Ephesians 6.

Ephesians 6. Ephesians 6. Ephesians 6, verses 1 through 4. It says, Children, Obey your parents in the Lord. For this is right. And it does add that phrase, in the Lord, I believe, for a very important purpose. Hopefully not in our families, but there are times when a child may be given instruction that is not in the Lord, in the sense that it's contrary to the clear teaching of the Holy Scriptures. And they do have to be submissive at home. They have to be under the rule of their father and mother. But, you know, there comes a time when they will become accountable for themselves. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment of the promise, that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth. Verse 4, And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath. Interesting that it is focused more so to fathers. I doubt that I'm the only one, but there were so many times when I'd come home and hear what had happened that day. I just wanted to go and snap a few orders out and fix everything. And there's a better way to handle that as we mature. There's an old saying. It's a true saying. It's a wise saying. I think it behooves us to remember, especially as they get into their teen years. And as parents, you start taking steps down a path you've never been down that way before. And the old saying states, It is possible to legislate rebellion. It is possible to legislate rebellion. And I think in the church we need to realize that and remember that as well. We can come down with policies and decrees, and we can give counseling, and it just forces people, pushes them right out the door. And shame on us. But sometimes we do that in our family with children. We're going to make them into perfect kids. We're going to bark orders at them. We're going to make them comply. But, you know, there at the end of Malachi, it talks about turning the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to the fathers. The hearts. We want to reach their heart. We want to answer that question, why? We want to help them to weigh the alternatives, and then tool them with the wisdom and the knowledge to be able to make right decisions. Bring them up in the nurture of the Lord, and don't discourage them, I think is what he's saying. They need to be encouraged, and we get a lot more out of anyone with encouragement than we do stern correction. All right. Well, let's go on to point number three, and that is to lovingly correct your children. Now, when I say correct, that comes in many ways.

God loves us to the point that He will not allow us just to choose the wrong way, and bring all kinds of pain and suffering on ourselves. He's going to teach us that there are penalties, that it hurts. You choose contrary to the law of God, it hurts. It destroys. It taints. Take any of the commandments. You steal, commit adultery, take God's name in vain. It destroys everything it touches. We can ask David about that one these days. Let's go to Hebrews 12. And let's begin in verse 5, because here it talks about the fact that God loves us, and because He loves us, He chastens us and He rebukes us. And there are different ways to do this, and each child is different. What works for one blows up in our face with the next one. Verse 5, and you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as the sons. And he's quoting actually from Proverbs 3 here. My son did not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him, for whom the Lord loves He chastens and scourges every son whom He receives. Again, there are so many things we never see, we don't comprehend, we don't understand, unless we hurt. There are lots of ways of hurting, though. If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons, for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? And if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are not illegitimate, or you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they, indeed, for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them. But He, God for our prophet, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now, no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful. Nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

So here it speaks of correcting, chastening, rebuking, but it's always in the context of love. If a parent truly loves a child, then they will correct them. They will explain to them. They'll teach them. There are so many teachable moments. A lot of times they do not know. Many times we've had kids come down to camp and they're using euphemisms, and they have no idea where that comes from. They have no idea. That's a substitute word for words like damn, and it's time to teach them. And then monitor behavior. See if they can do better than they generally do. But when wrong behavior is not addressed, then pain always follows. It always follows. And so we need to lovingly and responsibly intervene, especially when they're younger. And hopefully we can teach things as far as discerning right from wrong at the earliest stages. It's a lot easier to learn then than later on. It is unpleasant to correct, but if it's done properly with love, it can bear godly fruit that will last not just a lifetime, but maybe on into eternity. We want to guide a child's thinking so that they can ultimately stand on their own two feet one day, and they'll be independent from the family. We will always have an impact. Always have an impact on them. But we want them to move to that point where they can assess what is right and what is wrong, and we pray they'll choose what is right and then strive to do it.

Let's turn back to the book of Proverbs. There are quite a few areas I want to survey. Let's go first to Proverbs 13. We'll go kind of rapid fire here on a number of these, and then I want to wrap this up here in just a little while.

Proverbs 13 and verse 24. Verse 24, He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly. And I think that we should understand the word picture behind this is more so of a loving shepherd with his rod, and he's guiding, and he's leading, and he's giving course corrections. It's not, in that sense, the rod that we might conclude, where you need to just whip that kid every chance you get. We've had too much of that, too much of that. But sparing the rod hates his son. But if you love him, you're going to guide him. You're going to lead him. You're going to discipline him promptly, because it needs to be dealt with at the time. Chapter 17. Proverbs 17 and verse 25. A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her who bore him. We had the tragedy up in Ottawa, Canada, this week, and a soldier was shot and killed. And you had a family, parents of that young man who was shot and killed by the sergeant-at-arms, but you have a family. I hadn't seen that young man in a long time. And I just cannot imagine the grief they're going through, because from what I heard from the mother's words, what he did was not... he didn't learn in that home. In chapter 19. Verse 13. And we'll just read the first half. A foolish son is the ruin of his father. Chasing your son while there is hope. Because, you know, there is a time when their character can be set, and you've done what you can, and the die is cast, as it were. Do not set your heart on his destruction. And I think it's interesting that it adds that phrase. Don't set your heart on his destruction, literally, to putting to death. And there are places in the Old Testament where certain infractions you take that child out and stoning to death. Well, anyhow, verse 26. Verse 26. He who mistreats his father and chases away his mother is a son who causes shame and brings reproach. And I think a lot of these verses are looking later on down the line, not so much at a little child that's moldable and teachable.

Chapter 22. Chapter 22, verse 6. Verse 6. Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Now, the word picture behind that, again, is that of, well, if you've ever planted a tree, generally it's advisable. Get three, four stakes and tie it off to hold it up straight. You want the root system to develop, and last tree I planted, one of those stakes stayed there for two years. And then you can remove it. But it's bending, it's molding, it's forming in the way that, in this case, child should go.

And that's what God wants us to do as parents, to be molding, guiding, and giving a good foundation to that young person. In chapter 22, verse 15, foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. The rod of correction will drive it far from him.

Now, if you study modern philosophy, as far as child-rearing, that is, you see it go from one extreme to the other. You have authoritarian families that rule strongly with a rod of iron over a child, makes all decisions for a child.

And, you know, somewhere down the line, they get away from that home, and they've never learned how to make decisions and stand on their own feet. You have permissive homes, and you have homes that just let a child do his, he or she, good and well-pleased, and parents are just not involved.

But notice chapter 23, verse 13. Verse 13, Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.

You shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell, from the grave.

Now, I'm not going to get into the question of spanking. I realize any congregation, we've got peoples with different beliefs on that.

I mentioned that research that came out earlier this year, that if you spank a child, you teach them to be violent. I'm sorry, that's wrong. That's not true. If discipline is done out of love, it's hard to know. It's hard to know. It takes wisdom. It takes balance.

But there are times when a little child, you've taught them that stove is hot, and they're going to reach out for it. And you may stop them. You may warn them. And then there may be that time when a little child just took two fingers and a quick slap on the back of the hand, and it connects the dots that that behavior was about to hurt me terribly.

And yes, God created the human derriere, the tush also. And I realize that we always have people who don't believe in any kind of corporal punishment like that. But anyhow, this is what the Word of God says, and you can't say that this doesn't involve some type of physical punishment.

So man can do studies and come out with whatever research he wants, but are we going to believe the Word of God? Are we going to believe man? But again, it is so easily misused and overdone. Proverbs 29, verse 15 through verse 17.

15 through 17, verse 15, the rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. And again, that's one school of modern child rearing is just leave them alone. Leave them alone. Just don't be involved in their life. Verse 16, when the wicked are multiplied, transgression increases, but the righteous will see their fall. Correct your son and he will give you rest. Yes, he will give delight to your soul. I did a search yesterday. There was something I'd seen a long time ago, and I found it on scopes. This, I'm going to read you 12 steps. This is taken from a pamphlet that was entitled 12 Rules for Raising Delinquent Children.

And it was put out by the Houston Police Department a number of years ago. 12 Steps to Raise a Juvenile Delinquent. Now, as we go through this, realize these are not what we want to do. 1. Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way, he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living. I should have brought that old clipping. I think it was Ann Lenders about America's drug problem. Today's drug problem. We had a drug problem when we were little. Our parents drug us out behind the wood pile.

And then, if we did it again, they drug us out there again. 2. When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he's cute. 3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he's 21, and then let him decide for himself. 4. Avoid the use of the word wrong. He may develop a guilt complex, if you do.

This will condition him to believe later when he is arrested that society is against him and that he is being persecuted. 5. Pick up everything he leaves lying around the house. Do everything for him so that he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility on others. 6. Take his side against neighbors, teachers, and policemen, because they are all prejudiced against your child. 7. Quarl frequently in the presence of your children. This way, they won't be so shocked when the home breaks up later. 8. Give the child all the spending money he wants. Never make him earn his own. 9.

Satisfy his every craving for food, drink, and comfort. See that every sensual desire is gratified. 10. Let him read any printed material and listen to any music he can get his hands on. 11. Be sure that the silverware and the drinking glasses and plates are all clean and washed and sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage.

11. When he gets into real trouble, apologize to yourself simply by saying, I could never do anything with him. 12. Prepare for a life of grief. You will surely have it. And then it quotes some of these very verses that we have already read. I don't have time to get to this article on why my kids are not the center of my world.

A lot of good thoughts there as well. But let's turn to Psalm 127. And let us be reminded of what God says about the blessing it is to have children added to a family. There are times when it is possible as parents when it gets difficult. We can forget these things, but I think we need to always go back to these Psalms and see what God says. Psalm 127, verse 3, Behold children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth.

Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them. They shall not be ashamed, but he shall speak with their enemies in the gate. Psalm 128, Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways. When you eat the labor of your hands, you shall be happy, and it shall be well with you. Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house. Your children like olive plants all around your table.

Behold thus shall the man be blessed, who fears the Lord. May the Lord bless you out of Zion. May you see the good of Jerusalem all the days of your life. Yes. May you see your children's children. Peace be upon Israel. Look at how God works with us. It's summed up in those three words. He loves us. He teaches us. He corrects us. And in the process, he leads us down the path that we need to walk in order to ultimately enter the family of God.

And we need to follow God's example in teaching our children and heaping all the love we can and patiently and lovingly teaching them and then guiding and correcting them, disciplining them. And what a tremendous blessing they are when we do that.