Practical Application

All right. This was not planned, but that's a great lead-in for a sermon on child rearing. I've been going over a series on the subject of child rearing, and we've been covering various aspects of it. In the third sermon of the series, I covered understanding the spirit in man. And to us, Evelyn and I, that's one of the most important keys in understanding child rearing and in raising children. And since the Church is blessed to understand the spirit in man, we certainly want to make use of that knowledge. And as I've said a couple times, spiritual forces have far more to do with human conduct or misconduct than heredity or physical environment. And the last time I tried to cover, I covered the subject of practical application of the spirit man, how to apply the knowledge of the spirit man. And I mentioned what I call the spiritual environment in the home. For example, I'll talk about that a little later on. I also addressed what is our goal in child rearing. What is the goal that you have in raising your children? Mr. Armstrong, years ago, had the seven laws of success, and the first one you can improve on is to have the right goal. And so we want to have the right goal. And understanding the spirit of man, we know that God has given every human being the power of choice. And the spirit of man makes that extremely clear. And no one can take it away. In the end, no one can take it away. When children are little, parents make most of the choices. What side to sleep on, what to eat, what pajamas to wear, all the things you know. But as they get older, they start making their own choices. And one day, we know eventually, the parent will have no direct control over the choices. They'll be out of the nest, and they'll be flying on their own. And they'll be able to go wherever they want and do whatever they want to do. In 1997, I was living in South Africa, and I was visiting Salisbury, Rhodesia, which is now Harare's in Bobway. But it was Salisbury, Rhodesia back then. And I was visiting the head of the Director of Programming for the Rhodesian Broadcasting Company. He was kind enough. He was airing the world tomorrow in all of Rhodesia. That was not too long before the country became independent. And he aired it throughout the country, free of charge. What makes that really remarkable, there was only one channel. So if you're going to watch TV in Rhodesia, you're going to watch the world tomorrow at some time during the day. I forgot what time it was on. And he was Rhodesian, but his daughter was attending college in Cape Town, South Africa, which was quite a distance away. I think about a thousand miles. And he told me some of the things he was having, some communication problems.

He said, although she was far away, I thought our connection, like I had the strings of our relationship, and then I could guide and direct and help her to make good choices when she was at college in Cape Town. He said, well, I've recently learned that there's somebody else with another set of strings, and they're pulling in a different direction. He didn't tell me who. And he says, it seems that that string puller has more influence than I do. And he was really worried, because what are you going to do? Kids are grown. That stuck in my mind, that story from this gentleman who helped us a lot in Rhodesia to have the broadcast there, and actually put it on free of charge as a public service.

I came after some of our people went down there, did a program on the country, and they explained some things about it that Rhodesia has appreciated, what today you might call a fair and balanced presentation. So they were kind enough to do that. We also know that eventually every human being, our children included, will be standing before Jesus Christ in the judgment seat to answer for the choices they made in life.

Paul wrote, we know we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ. And by that time, God's worked it out by that time, that the choices a person makes in life will be abundantly clear and even undeniable. It'll be frank and clear, and nobody will be able to argue with it, and he'll make it very plain.

Therefore, since we understand the spirit man, shouldn't our goal be to instill self-discipline in our children? To teach them to govern themselves in godly thinking and in godly conduct? To help them develop from immature and undisciplined children, where we all start out, it's amazing how humble human beings start out. We're just absolutely helpless. We need help with everything. And it's about 10 or 15 years, and some of us think we know everything.

I remember I was thinking I was really sharp when I was 15. Boy, did I not know anything. But I had to learn that, as everybody else does, too. But to go from immature and undisciplined children to mature and self-disciplined adults. And long-term, even, thinking about the day of judgment. So for Evelyn and me, our goal was to teach our children to discipline themselves. Last time, when I was talking about the spirit, applying the spirit of man, I addressed the role of fathers in child-rearing.

The spirit of this world is against fathers. It's against authority in general, but against fathers because they tend to be somebody everybody has to put up with. You're dead. And there tends to be a hostility about it. Satan society is hostile to authority, and also that includes fathers. And you'll find, over the history of movies, plays, stories, where the dad's the bad guy, he's trying to hold some kind of rigid law, and there's a young guy that comes up, kind of a, you know, he doesn't follow all the customs, he's more of a rebel type. But he ends up winning because his way is wiser, and finally the old dad figures it out, and the storyline goes over and over again.

This society is producing fewer and fewer men because God set things up so fathers build men. And those with God's spirit recognize the spirit behind the hostility to authority. They recognize. They can see it working. God's servants are respectful of authority. All authority. I constantly marvel how Jesus, in his life, showed respect for the Jewish leaders. Mind you, he talked to them very straight, but he still had a certain respect. They didn't fault him on anything, except some things that they were trying to blame him about, but he was faultless. And he was respectful to the Romans, and he was respectful to all authority, even though he is above all authority and has been given all authority.

That's why we respect authority, because at the top of it all is Jesus Christ. So we noticed, and we also went to Malachi 4. You want to go back to Malachi 4? And talking about the spirit man and how to apply it, we went to Malachi 4, the last two verses in the chapter, verses 5 and 6. Malachi 4, verses 5 and 6. He said, Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord.

Now, the great and dreadful day was not his first coming. The great and dreadful day is really his second coming. And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.

You check that word out curse, and it means utter destruction. When the family breaks down completely, there's no sense having an earth. So, he has the family build up, and his servant Elijah will help build and strengthen the families. He'll turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.

Now, this is a big prophecy, and there's a lot in it. But we noted, first of all, the fathers turn toward the children, and then the children turn toward the fathers, as though they begin with the fathers, and then the children respond.

And that's the implication there. And then we recovered 1 John 4.19, we love him because he first loved us. God had to reach in and deal with us in a loving way, sometimes with the Apostle Paul in a very strong loving way.

That was basically an intervention, they call it today, a very powerful one. But still, Paul was grateful, and God knew he would be. So that it would start there with the families, because that's very important to God. Families are very important to God. So this time, I said I would cover practical aspects of child learning. And I thought what I would do, in going over the practical ones, is cover some examples briefly, and maybe expand them a little bit, that I've already covered in previous sermons. In June 26, that was sermon number 2, I was pointing out that teaching our children is not simply correction.

Godly teaching is mostly positive instruction. Reading the Bible is positive instruction. I mentioned the story of David and Goliath.

Look at Proverbs chapter 4, I didn't cover this, but I want you to see this in the scripture itself. Proverbs chapter 4.

And the positive instruction that's here. And also the connection with the heart.

Proverbs chapter 4 verse 20. Now you can start anywhere in Proverbs, and you'll find valuable instruction, but we're picking out the ones we had to do with children, and also with the heart. He said Proverbs 4 and verse 20, my son give attention to my word. This is kind of a plea. Incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them depart from your eyes.

Keep them in the midst of your heart. This is like God saying it. Perhaps it was David who said this to Solomon, but it's God speaking to all of us. Keep them in the midst of your heart, for they are life to those who find them, and health to all their flesh. That's health to all the flesh.

You know, you talk to somebody that's lived up to the 90s, and you ask them, how did you treat your parents?

I have yet to find somebody who's up in that age range who did not consistently show respect to their parents. And the commandment says, honor your parents, your mother and father, that your days may be long upon the earth. That's a truism all the way through. It's real. He said, for they are life to those who find them, and health to all their flesh. Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it bring the issues of life. The issues of life come from the heart.

And he goes on to make that point. The issues of life come from the heart. Look at chapter 6 and verse 20. Chapter 6 and verse 20. My son keep your father's command, and do not forsake the law of your mother. The word law there is actually the Hebrew word Torah. Instruction.

Bind them continually upon your heart. Tie them around your neck. Then when you roam, when you're out on your own, doing what you want to do, going where you want to go, then when you roam they will lead you. When you sleep they will keep you. When you are awake, they will speak with you. And he goes on, he said, for the commandment is a lamp, and the law a light.

Reproofs of instruction are the way of life to keep you from the evil woman, from the flattering tongue of a seduster. And he goes on explaining that. Look at chapter 23, if you would. Proverbs chapter 23. Proverbs 23. Let's begin in verse 12. Proverbs 23, 12. Apply your heart to instructions.

Now, and your ears to words of knowledge. In other words, keep learning. Keep learning.

Especially God's instruction. God's knowledge. Apply your heart to instruction, and your ears to words of knowledge. Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell. The actual word is the grave. When people aren't disciplined, it's very hard to treat them as adults and get them back disciplined again. It can be done. They have to do it. But it's harder. It's better to learn it as a youth and be trained and get off to a good start.

He said, My son, if your heart is wise, my heart will rejoice. Indeed, I myself. Yes, my innermost being will rejoice when your lips speak right things.

This is all instruction to give to youth. He said, Do not let your heart envy sinners. That's where the trouble begins. You look outside, you see the doing out there. Even David had that problem. You read about it in Psalm 73 sometimes, where he said he looked around and, hey, they seem to have no troubles, or I'm getting corrected all the time.

And they seem to do just fine. Then he realized their end.

Do not let your heart envy sinners, but be zealous for the fear of the Lord all the day.

For surely there is a hereafter, and your hope will not be cut off. There's a life to come after. Hear, my son, and be wise, and guide your heart in the way. Do not mix with wine-bibbers or with gluttonous eaters of meat. For the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty, and drowsiness will clothe a man with rags. Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old. By the truth, do not sell it. Also, wisdom and instruction and understanding.

Focus on the truth, on wisdom, on instruction and understanding. The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who begets a wise child will delight in him. Let your father be glad, and let her who bore you rejoice. My son, verse 26, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways. For a heart that is a deep pit, and a seductress a narrow well. She also lies in wait for a victim, and increases the unfaithful among men. Well, there are many sections to Proverbs like that, but good, positive instruction in explaining things in life. And this father did make it clear. And we can give instructions of God's blessing in our lives, and others' lives, too.

And also encouragement, to give kids encouragement, sincere praise and appreciation.

Those things are wonderful teachers. God uses them. And I mentioned the old principle, catch them doing something right, not always finding fault. Find something to praise. Look at Proverbs 16, if you would. Proverbs 16.

Beginning in verse 21 to 24. I'll share it with you from the NIV.

Proverbs 16, verses 21 to 24. It says, The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction.

Yelling does not promote instruction. Pleasant words promote instruction.

Understanding is a fountain of life, and to those who have it. But folly brings punishment to fools. A wise man's heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction.

Verse 24. Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and healing to the bones.

To be able to say things in a pleasant way where you possibly can. Sometimes they have to be pretty direct. But to say it a pleasant way, not yelling or with put-downs and all the things that are so common in our society, it's very important. So we covered that in the second one. And the third one I mentioned, that parents determine the spiritual environment in their home.

Is it calm or peaceful? Or is it hostile and angry? What's the environment? Is it respectful? Both ways? Or is it disrespectful both ways? Is it reasonable, or is it manipulative?

Is there kind of taking advantage of superior knowledge or wisdom, and putting the kid at a disadvantage? Is it dealt with the spirit of criticism, or with the spirit of encouragement?

I said again, we all need to ask ourselves, what is the spiritual environment in your home?

Next, in that same sermon, I mentioned that if a child screams and whines to get its way, what attitudes are at work? You will find that whining is really a form of accusation.

You're not fair!

He got a bigger piece than I did. Devlin told me when her fifth sibling came along, they used to divide up a candy bar, and it divided it up nice for four kids.

And they wondered, how on earth are they going to divide it up for five?

She knew it was going to divide it up, and it was going to be equal, but she didn't see how it was going to work out, and it divided like that. But this whining is really a form of accusation. And if they work, screaming or whining, what are we teaching them?

That that's the way to get what they want. It'll work!

When our children whine about something, as I mentioned before, I tell them that we had two problems. First, whatever it was that upset them, because usually what they were concerned about was right. There was something that needed to be explained at least, and maybe even said right.

But, all right, that's a problem. And I acknowledge the problem and the concern about it. Second, I said, but we got a problem with whining as well. We got this whining as well. Can you state your concern or complaint without whining? And they did! And then we can address it. And it worked fine. Whining never gained anything. It never succeeded. Addressing the problem without whining most certainly did succeed. In sermon number four, I mentioned when our kids were little, unless they were in danger, I never took their hand away from something when they were told not to touch it. I instructed them to take their own hand away. I wanted to teach self-discipline, which means they have to take their own hand away. I mean, I'm bigger. I could grab it and move the hand. It's not a problem. But I'm trying to teach self-discipline. So, if they didn't withdraw their hand, they were disciplined by instruction or rebuke or warning or sometimes a pat on the hand. They don't touch. And it would try to be consistent there and deal with it. Okay, those are points that I've already covered. Now, what I haven't covered, I like to cover the rest of the sermon here. I like to address the practical child-rearing aspects that I haven't covered.

We learned years ago, and I've been saying this now for 30 years or more, that the period between three months and three years are very important. That's where you begin. And I always encourage parents to get three things across in those three months to three years. No, don't touch, and come here.

That's what we tried to instill in our kids at that early age. No, don't touch and come here. I said that once to Frank McCready when we were living in New York. He said, well, that's what God says.

No, don't touch and come here. I thought that was funny. But it's the basic respect for the parent and basic cooperation and obedience. Eventually, it could save their lives. When you say, come here, sometimes in a dangerous situation, you might be in a life-saving situation. I'll read it to the NIV Proverbs 23 verses 13 to 14. But in the NIV this time, we were there just a minute ago, do not withhold discipline from a child. Discipline is instruction. Discipline can be correction. Discipline is the whole thing like it's a disciple. It comes from the same word. If you punish him with a rod, he will not die. Punish him with a rod and save his soul from death. When our parents, when Evelyn's parents lived in Michigan, they're both died now, but we lived in South Africa when our children were little. And we would sometimes come up from South Africa through Europe and then stop in Chicago or Michigan, and we would spend some time with them. And one time, we left the kids there, all three kids there, for them to babysit while we spent a week in Pasadena at a conference. We thought to get a chance to get to the grandmother and grandfather, get to see the farm, and have a great time there. And it worked out that way very nicely. I think all our kids have an affection for the family farm. But Evelyn's dad was known to say that he never had to discipline his six children. He had five girls and then he had a boy. And all the girls used to see who could take care of the boy first. So he said he never had to discipline his six children. Evelyn told me, no, because his wife did that.

That she was the one that kind of set the rules around the place. So dad Thomas said fine.

The week later, we came back to visit them again in Michigan, on our way back to South Africa.

And in the course of the conversation, he said, you know, I never had to discipline my children.

But yours, he thought mine needed a little bit more than his did.

And I can certainly understand that. Because they're my kids. So they got that hardheadedness that I grew up with, seemed to have naturally. Anyway, we want to have that no, don't touch, and come here. And that's pretty basic. The next thing on practical, speak once.

Jesus said, but let your yes be yes, and your no be no. For whatever more than this is from the evil. Well, now he's talking about swearing and vowing and all that kind of thing. Not vowing, but swearing.

But your yes is yes, and your no is no. Having to repeat something, now of course they didn't hear it properly.

But you'll figure out when they're faking that and when they're not. You all no doubt already have.

But having to repeat something means they didn't hear you the first time, which means they didn't respect the first time you said it. God is teaching all of us to respond to his instruction at once. Now, again, he's a patient teacher. He knows he has to repeat some things. But respect is vital. Having respect indicates that your word is respected. And that's vital, respect.

If you don't respect your own word, your children won't either. We didn't threaten our children.

A threat usually comes after an infraction. Do you want me to? Well, of course they don't.

But it's raising the level. It means, well, now I'm serious. I wasn't serious before, but now I am.

Or what does it say? Threats encourage a slow response.

Like deathbed repentance. You only comply at the last possible minute. And another thing happens, too.

The relationship becomes power-based. You always need to threaten.

Instead of addressing right and wrong. Is it right or wrong?

So we didn't go threatening. We said if there was a problem, we dealt with it.

So when dealing with problems, and I've been the pastor here for 20 years, I hope you know that I avoid threatening. If something is wrong, then I'll address it usually. I mean, there are times to not address things and wait for the right time. But if there's something wrong, I tend to address it as soon as possible.

Right away. No threats.

Just address it. This isn't good. We need to fix this and go from there.

Ideally, instruction and discipline should come as close to the act as possible.

Ideally, instruction and discipline should come together as close as possible. I know that sounds maybe counterintuitive, but the connection between the act and the result is instructive. If you turn over to—if you're still in progress—let's go to Ecclesiastes chapter 8. I'm sorry.

Ecclesiastes chapter 8 and verse 11. Here's a principle noted by Solomon that is true true.

Ecclesiastes chapter 8 and verse 11. Because the sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily. Therefore, the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil.

Why do people smoke? Because you don't fall down and die with the first drag.

It takes decades to fall down and die from smoking.

So the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do what they know is not good for them. The first time I took a drag at a cigarette, I knew it wasn't good for me.

I started coughing and hacking them. I kept at it so I could be tough.

Tough.

Anyway, why do people embezzle?

Because they've been doing it for some time without being caught.

And then they take bigger and bigger and bigger risks until they get caught.

Why do people respond insolently?

Because they've learned it often works to get their way.

Or as Bill's dad might say, because nobody punched him in the mouth.

The result are unconnected.

So he says, because the sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily.

What if every time we had envy, we turned green?

There'd be no hiding it. Say, oh, you're envying. And if it happened just like that, boy, we would avoid envy. Wouldn't we? We don't be green. Because the sentence against evil work is not executed speedily. Therefore, the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil. Verse 12, Though a sinner does evil a hundred times, and his days are prolonged, yet I surely know it will be well with those who fear God, who fear before him. But it will not be well with the wicked. Nor will he prolong his days, which are as a shadow because he does not fear before God. Because God doesn't come down and just strike everybody, but the minute they do something, people are fully set to do the wrong thing. So I say, the closer the offense and the correction are together, the more effective they will be. Over a few more pages to the book of Isaiah. Isaiah. Chapter 3. And verses 4 and 5. Here's a time when God removes the blessing from, he says, Judah and Jerusalem. The principles work the same everywhere. He said, I will give children. to be their princes. And babes shall rule over them. Now, it's talking about the actual word for children or boys. And the word for babes, my margin says, are capricious ones, greedy ones. Babes have no control. They see something they wanted. And our political leaders sometimes come across the same way. They see it, they'll take it. But he says, I'll give children to be their princes. So many times the children are in charge. It seems like they're the boss. That's not good for them, it's not good for anybody else. And I give children to be their princes and babes, sure, a little. The people shall be oppressed, everyone by another, and everyone by his neighbor. The child will be insolent toward the elder, because nobody corrects him. And the base toward the honorable, people show terrific disrespect. If you skip down to verse 10, he said, Say to the righteous that it will be well with them, for they shall eat the fruit of their doings. Woe to the wicked it shall be ill with him, for the reward of his hands will be given him. As for my people, children are their oppressors. That means they're in charge.

And women rule over them. O my people, those who lead you, cause you to err and destroy the way of your past, destroy the safe and right way to go. Our nation is not well led, and we're having troubles. Okay. Another thing I've... The children will often have a distinct relationship with each parent. If the dad's tough and the mom's easy, they'll know the difference.

And they'll work it. Or if the mom's tough and the dad's easy, they'll work the difference. It happens every time. They'll respond to one parent, say okay, yes, and do what they say, and not respond to another or the other. It's not good. Sometimes they'll whine to one parent, but they wouldn't dare whine to the other. They know it doesn't work. They had a family in South Africa. He was an Afrikaner, which meant he spoke Afrikaans, which is derived from the Dutch language.

And she was British background, so she spoke English. And it's interesting. The children, if they were talking to their mother, they spoke English, and if they were talking to their dad, they spoke Afrikaans. So they had the children going back and forth. They can respond to each one. Let's give that example how parents can do it. There's one thing I would change in traveling if I could. When our kids were growing up, I would spend more time with each child individually. Now, when our kids were growing up, I was traveling a lot. We were living overseas, and that required a lot of travel.

And so when I come home, I'd usually spend time with the children together, which sounds great. But at the time, I didn't realize it. So I explained this to our son, Jonathan, and said, if I were doing it differently, this is what I would do. I'd spend more time individually. Now, most Sundays, not every but nearly, Sunday morning, our son Jonathan heads for Starbucks with one of his three children. Elizabeth, 16. Thomas is, I think, 12 and Matthew's 10. Now, they all like Starbucks, but I think only John has coffee. So they go over there for an hour or two, and they hang out.

Just two of them. And they rotate it all the way through. Everybody gets a fair share. And they do that. This builds the individual relationship with each child. And it helps the heart-to-heart relationships. Since Sherry is usually home, she gets more time with each other individually. They don't have to work it like Jonathan does, but since he's at work all day, he has to come home, and he has to work it out as to how they do that.

So that's one big change I would make if I were starting all over again. Another thing, too, and I think we all know this, of course, there must be affection in the family circle. We developed a way of dealing with problems that we found work. Actually, I learned it in the church congregation.

In New York, we had a guy who was a really nice guy. He was a short-order cook, but about every couple months, he would get his pay, and he would drink too much. He'd get beat up, take his money, and so it was really terrible. So I told him, I kind of verbally put my arm around and showed him, Man, we like you.

We like you. But this problem's got to go. This problem's got to go. And you separate the person from the problem. And it's the same with the kids. The kids are loved. We love you. The child isn't the enemy, but whatever the problem is has to be dealt with. Put your arm around the child verbally or whatever, and we're over here, and the problem's over there. Now, we have to address this problem together and work on it and accomplish it that way. Turning the heart involves affection, esteem, appreciation, love, respect, and one that helped us a lot, joy.

We tried to make it fun. Tried to make it happy. We'll see that in the Scripture in a minute. We found that children need specific instructions, parameters. If cleaning a room, if they're supposed to clean a room, it helps to explain specifically what needs to be done. Have you ever been told by somebody, You've got this job, rake the leaves, Well, how will I know what I'm done? Because you can't get the whole yard in. Well, you just keep raking, and I'll tell you when you're done.

That's not a good way to work, because you think, Well, wait a minute here. What's the goal? How do I know when to accomplish it? How can I get off for a good time? So it helps to have a specific goal to be working toward, if possible. Sometimes, you know, difficult to wrap. And I mentioned earlier praise and reward. One time our son Bob was mowing our lawn in New York, and we had a huge lawn.

It was really big. And when he was finished, I went out to have a look. Did I express appreciation for having nearly an acre of lawn mowed, beautifully mowed? No. My eye went to the little spot that didn't get done. And I promptly pointed it out.

When I thought about it later, I realized that was very unwise. What I should have done was say, thanks for getting this big lawn done. Now, there's just a little bit here. Let me help you get that finished. It would have been a total different thing. A much better way to deal with it. Praise and appreciation tend to motivate more than correction.

And, of course, that works with adults, too. I'd like you to look at Ephesians 5. Ethan May was just there. We want to go back there again.

I'm looking forward to becoming better acquainted with the Book of Ephesians in our small group Bible study. But we'll finish with some practical points from the Scripture itself, which I guess we've done to some extent. But let's apply this now to troweling. At the end of the book, Paul often would go down and deal with practical Christianity. Sometimes he didn't in every book, but in Ephesians it was one of the more typical ones where he would go down and deal with it. Now, he said in practical things, Walk in wisdom, verse 15, See that you walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. That was the days coming up to them before the fall of Jerusalem. Paul must have sensed that, or known that, or understood that. But we're living in times where the times are very difficult, and they're not getting better. They're getting worse. I think we all agree on that. So in troweling, we want to walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time. The children, they told me when kids were little that they grew up real fast, and it all happened very quickly. It didn't seem like that when we were going through it, but it sure does now. It just all went like that. So we have to make use of the time in taking care of our families, and in instructing them in getting through certain things. He said, therefore, do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is, to help them understand the will of the Lord. And do not be drunk with wine, which is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit. Now notice verse 19.

Always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God. Cooperating together, working together is how you work with families, but it's got to be a joyous thing. There's a joy and a mutual respectful, submitting to one another, and working together in a positive way. I'm talking about families now. He's talking about the whole congregation, but I'm applying it to families. Verse 22, wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husbands the head of the wife, as Christ as the head of the church. And he is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let their wives be to their own husbands and everything. Husbands love your wives. Now remember, one of the first things, you don't need the top, and one of the greatest things you can do is love your wife or your mate. Husbands love your wives as Christ also loved the church. How do you love the church? He sacrificed for it.

Husbands love your wives just as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for her. That he might sanctify. That's the only way the church would be sanctified, if he died. That's the only way the sins would be forgiven, the Holy Spirit come. That's the only way. That he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the Word. We get washed by the Word, and it's with child-wearing, too. You begin to start helping them see the right way. They get washed, too, by the Word. That he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So ought husbands to love their wives as they love their own bodies. Now that means you're going to love it a lot. Christ said, no man hated his own flesh. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. The Lord nourishes and cherishes the church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I'm speaking of Christ and the church. His mind was on Christ and the church, but it also... He brings it back to the family again, verse 33. Nevertheless, that each of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see she respects her husband. And he doesn't leave the kids out. Chapter 6. Children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth. And you fathers do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. In the training and the admonition. We're trained by his word, and we're admonished by him. All of us are God's children, and we need to take care of the children there in the same way. So we bring them up, not provoking to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Let me show you one last scripture here in Isaiah, chapter 54.

We all know parents are fallible human beings, and that they can't watch everything all the time.

Although some moms are pretty good.

But we all know we can only do so much. But there's good news. There's a backup plan.

Isaiah 54. Let's start in verse 4.

I think he's talking about the holy city. Notice verse 13.

There's a backup system, and it's God himself. Several years back, God taught me that I had a lot to learn about relationships with people.

And he made it very clear. And when I began to see the problem, I could see it in our family as well. And when I tried to talk about it, it didn't go anywhere. It wasn't, so I just shut up about it. I didn't know what to do. I had no idea how to address it. Our son Jonathan went through a very severe illness. He had a burst appendix, and it got very complicated, and it got very messy, and he was in hospital, and various things happened. And it was very, very messy. Now, in the school district in which we lived, when a child missed a month of school, they had set aside budget to pay the teachers to come out and tutor privately.

John's always very bright, but he just didn't get so keen on school. And he had some things to learn as well, as all kids do.

So they set out these teachers, and the teachers would sit down with Jonathan one-to-one. I'm not great in a class situation. I'm better one-to-one. And Jonathan was there just one-to-one, and it was teachers, and he just fell in love with the teaching and the subject, because he could go back and forth, and it was wonderful. And he loved learning one-on-one. Teachers would even ask questions about the church, and various things would come up about the church. And so here he is at 15 or whatever it was, talking about the church to his teachers. Different ones, they'd come through and sit with him. And at the end of all that, his schoolwork improved greatly, and his interpersonal relationships improved greatly as well. But it was only when the trial was passed that I could look back and say, you know, God did that. I had nothing to do with it. All your children shall be taught by the Lord. That is a very meaningful promise from God, that he'll step in, and he'll help, where you and I are unable to help. He said, All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children. Notice that when they're taught by the Lord, the result is peace. All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children. In righteousness you shall be established. Yes, far from oppression, for you shall not fear, and from terror, for it shall not come near you. Indeed, they shall utterly assemble, but not because of me. They might be coming after you. Whoever assembles against you shall fall for your sake. Behold, I've created the blacksmith, who blows the coals on the fire, who brings forth an instrument for his work. And I have created the spoiler to destroy. No weapon against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment you shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is from me. It's not their righteousness, their righteousness is from him. Now, that's about as encouraging as you can get, that all your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be the peace of your children. I hope this review of child-wearing in five sections has been beneficial to you, and I wish everybody a very Happy Thanksgiving.