The Two Great Mirrors of Marriage

We are going to stick on the topic of marriage today, and I just would like to say at the beginning, please know that God's love, his purpose, his joy for your life is not measured by whether you have a spouse sitting next to you or not. Regardless of your status, our hope today is that both messages will be profitable to you spiritually. So the title of our second message today is the two great mirrors of marriage. Did you know there's two great mirrors in marriage? Well, that's our title today, and I'd like to begin this message by turning once again to Genesis chapter 2 and verse 8, all the way back to the beginning to what is the first marriage that we have here on earth here in Genesis 2, all the way back to the Garden of Eden when God created the first man, Adam, and God says something really quite remarkable to consider. Genesis 2, verse 18, I'm sorry, I said verse 8, verse 18. Genesis 2, 18, after creating Adam, God says, it is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him. Let's stop there for a moment. You know, if you think about it, at this time in history, everything that was around Adam was good. The creation was good. The garden was good. Adam's relationship with God was good. No sin had come between Adam and his creator, yet God looked down on this man that he created and said, there's something still missing. And what makes this so touching here is this was recognized before Adam even recognized it. We don't have anything recorded here that says, Adam cried out and says, I'm lonely, God. Although he may have been thinking it, he didn't express it. But God looked down at Adam and essentially said, I know something that perhaps you're not aware of yet, and it is that I, God, created you, Adam, for relationship. I created you to share your life here on earth with another.

And then in an extraordinary way, scripture says that God then brought her to the man here. Verse 22, verse 22, then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man, from Adam, he made into a woman, and he brought her to the man. I love that picture here. I love that phrase. And immediately, Adam knew something was different. Verse 23, Adam said, now this is bone of my bones. Verse 23, in flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. He knew something was special here. And then God gives us these words which have defined marriage ever since. Verse 24, therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Let's stop there. So there it is. Marriage. And of course, we see this is not exclusively for Adam and Eve. They didn't have a mother and father yet, you see. So this was a proclamation to be proclaimed throughout the ages to come. And so what God was doing, this was God's doing, this was his idea, this was his creation, we could say this was his gift. So when a couple says I do, there is in fact, they are in fact entering into something that is much greater, much greater than simply just finding someone to share your life with. And in fact, there is something deeper happening in marriage, and there is in fact a message within marriage to all of mankind. God placed within marriage a message, and it was to point to something beyond the husband and wife, point beyond themselves. And scripture reveals that marriage points to two things that we're going to consider today. Let me give them to you, just right off the bat here, right up front. Marriage is in fact, number one, a mirror of the relationship between God and Jesus Christ. So that's the number one mirror. Marriage, number one, is a mirror of the relationship between God and Jesus Christ. And number two, number two, marriage is in fact a mirror of the relationship between Jesus Christ and the church. So that's the second of the two great mirrors of marriage. Number two, marriage is a mirror of the relationship between Jesus Christ and the church. And these are the two great mirrors that we're going to explore today. Okay, let's get right to it. Point number one, marriage is a mirror of God and Jesus Christ. Have you ever thought about that? Let me show you this. Go back one chapter, if you will, to Genesis 1.26. I want to, through scripture, have you have revealed this first mirror of marriage, and it's quite profound here. Genesis 1.26 here, one chapter back, we have this record that says, Then God said, Let us make man in our image, according to our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish, birds, cattle, over the earth, and every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. Okay, let's stop there. Notice first the us, all right? God did not say, Let me. He said, Let us. That's the Father, God the Father, and the Word, the one who would become the Son. So the Father and the Son said, Let us make man in our image. So again, let us plural make man in our image, according to our likeness. Okay, now verse 27 is very important here. Look at verse 27. So God created man, which could actually be better translated mankind, in his own image. In the image of God, he created them male and female. He created them. Let's stop there. Very important to understand here what God created in his image. What he created in his image was male and female, not just male. So males are not solely the image of God.

And we didn't get an amen on that, so you all are in agreement there. Praise God, right? Because mankind, male and female, is the image of God. So let's think about this. God said, I want to put a portrait. I want to put a mirror of myself on earth, right? I want to put an image. I want to put a replica of myself on earth, and this is what he did. And when God wanted to put a mirror of himself on the earth, he put a male and female, not just a male. Again, verse 27, God created better translated mankind in his own image. In the image of God, he created him male and female. All right. And so we could then say, the perfect, whole, complete image of God, the perfect, whole, complete image of God, is created when male and female become one in marriage. Marriage is the ultimate image of God on earth. God the Father, God the Son, individual, beings, distinct, yet they're one. So for God to create a replica of himself here on earth, likewise, it was to be plural. Two separate beings, male and female, yet coming together in marriage as one. One in all things.

So man and woman are not the ultimate complete image of God. Husband and wife are. Pretty amazing. So when a husband and wife, the husband and wife, mirror the oneness of God and the Word.

Now, this fact is actually punctuated in the creation narrative, because every single thing that God created had done, it had been good. It's the Hebrew word tov, T-O-V, T-O-V. It's translated good. And the Hebrew thought around this word tov, good, is something that is uniquely purposeful or in harmony with its design purpose. It's the way it should be, tov. So in the creative narrative, creation narrative, you have in chapter one here, we have all these things that God created, and at the end he would say they're tov, they're good. Stars tov, earth tov, animals tov, fish tov. That's all here in chapter one. But when God creates man, meaning Adam, man is not tov. Turning forward again to Genesis 2.18. Genesis 2.18. And the Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone. In other words, man is not exactly as I have created him to be. So it is that God deliberately made Adam to be in need of someone else besides himself. Why? Because God created man with a need of relationship to be complete.

If you read any commentary, it's pretty common to read the understanding that God created man with—this is how they refer to it—as with a God-shaped void. God created man with a God-shaped void. With the understanding that in order to fill that void, you must enter into a relationship with God, and that void is filled through the covenant relationship with God. But I think with this understanding, I think we could also say that God has created us with a human-shaped void. You know, God could have filled that, but he doesn't, because he fully expects us to build relationships with each other, with the ultimate image being made complete in the covenant relationship of marriage between a man and a woman. So that's the first mirror of marriage. Marriage is a mirror of God and Jesus Christ.

All right, the second mirror flows from it, because the story of marriage continues, and we have the Apostle Paul then inspired to reveal the second mirror of marriage. The second mirror of marriage has two aspects to it. It is the marriage is a mirror of Christ and the Church. Let's see this. So if you have your Bibles, let's turn over to Ephesians 5, verses 31 and 32. Let's turn over there. Ephesians 5, verses 31 and 32. This is where we find the second mirror of marriage, this mirror between Christ and the Church. It is a profound mirror of marriage.

Ephesians 5, verses 31 and 32. Paul's great passage on marriage. He begins by referencing the Genesis narrative here.

Ephesians 5, verses 31. Paul reveals, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and become joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. That's referring to the Genesis narrative. This is a great mystery, but I speak mirror number two concerning Christ and the Church. So the second mirror of marriage is the mirror of Christ and the Church. So, okay, together, my wife and I mirror the relationship between God the Father and Jesus Christ. And we are now seeing that individually, in this second mirror on earth, I represent or mirror the role of Christ, and she represents or mirrors the role of the Church.

Fascinating. This is what marriage represents. The second mirror here. And Paul doesn't leave us just there. He explains in detail the two aspects of this. Allow your eyes to go up to verses 22-33 here. Beginning in verse 22, we have the first the role of the wife mirroring the Church. Verse 22, Paul says, wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the Church, and he is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the Church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

So that's the image or the role of the wife mirroring the Church. Continuing here, now he moves on to the husbands mirroring Christ. Verse 25, husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for her.

That he, Christ, or the husband, mirror, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of the water by the word. That he might present her to himself a glorious Church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she should be holy without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it just as the Lord does the Church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. And then again we come to the verses we began with.

Here's the unmistakable connection. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. The two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the Church.

Just to finish the thought here, nevertheless let each one in particular so love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Let's stop there. So the second great mirror of message is clear. A healthy biblical marriage is to mirror Christ's relationship with the Church. Therefore, a healthy biblical marriage proclaims the very gospel of the coming Kingdom of God. That's quite profound to think of. And what a great mystery it is. The first part of the mystery, Christ's initiative in loving the Church, the giving of his life for her.

That's a great mystery to the husband's role. The second part, which we'll focus on first here, is the Church's response to Christ's love. When the wife responds in this way to her husband's love, when she does this, she's depicting how a called believer responds to Jesus Christ. And so the first half of the second mirror is dealing with this role of the wife. Verse 22 again, wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. That's the key phrase there. The husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the Church.

He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the Church is subject to Christ, let the wives be to their own husbands and everything. Now, wives, when you consider this response, when you consider this submissive response, I actually want you to think of first and foremost in terms of Jesus Christ's example. You know, we more clearly see that Jesus gives us the example to the husband, but it is also that Jesus Christ also gives the example to the wife in his display of submission to the Father.

Do you ever think about that? What we actually see in Jesus is a model for wives in his submission to the Father. And in fact, we see this submissive role on full display as Jesus Christ gives himself in sacrifice. Let's see this detailed. Keep your marker here. We're going to come right back. But turn over to Philippians 2, verse 5 through 7.

As we will see here in Philippians 2, verse 5 through 7, the depth of this act of submissive response. We'll come back to Ephesians in just a moment, but here in Philippians 2, verse 5 through 7, we are seeing the second aspect of the mirror of marriage depicting the relationship between the church and Jesus and the wife's response of submission. And Jesus himself reveals this. Philippians 2, beginning in verse 5, Paul says, "'Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus, who being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made himself of no reputation, taking on the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men.'" Let's stop there. Okay, wives, did you hear any notes or any significance regarding your role here in this passage? Do you see how your submissive role even correlates with Christ's submission, submissive role, to the Father?

Let's consider this. And as we consider this, I'm going to take a little liberty, okay, so allow me a little liberty so that we can extract the role here of the wife as Christ is displaying it. So let me read this passage again. Again, I'm going to take a little liberty in substituting the wife in this passage here. Philippians 2, 5 through 7 again. Let me start off with saying, wives, let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus, who, let's say, the wife, little liberty here, the wife, being in the form of the husband, did not consider it robbery to be equal with the husband, but made herself of no reputation, taking on the form of a help-meet and the coming into her role as a wife.

So we're allowing Christ to reveal and give us a little bit of an example of this submissive role here. We remember Christ's words before his death. Christ said before his death, O Father, glorify with me with yourself with the glory I had with you before the world was. And Christ spoke of a time before creation when there were two distinct beings together, and the equality that Christ had with the Father. It was all there. He shared in the same equality, in the same existence, as the Father. The Word was with God. The Word was God. The Word became Jesus Christ stepped onto this earth, and the Word, the one who became Jesus Christ, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God the Father. However, the Word was willing to voluntarily surrender His position and bend His will to the Father simply for the sake of the gospel and the coming kingdom of God. He was willing to step into that role for the salvation of all of mankind. You remember we said marriage is to give us some notion of the gospel. Well, the wives stepping into this role is part of that ultimate mirror and the ultimate expression of following Jesus Christ's example here.

Now, while there are many aspects to consider about Christ submitting Himself to the Father, we see in this way there is a direct correlation with the role of the wife and the voluntary submission to the husband. Now, we know God the Father and Jesus Christ, their relationship wasn't husband and wife. We know that. And ultimately, it became a relationship between a father and son. We know that. That's true. But we also see that within that structure, that relationship structure they had, we have in the very fabric of it, this understanding about marriage. So let me give it to you as plainly as I can. Husband and wives share the same nature before God. Husband and wives share the same value before God. Husband and wives share the same ultimate potential before God. Husband and wives are equal before God. But in order for the gospel of the coming kingdom of God to go forward, roles were established. And just as Christ, with no loss of dignity, took the place of submission to the headship of the Heavenly Father, in the same way, the wife, with no loss of dignity, takes the place of submission to the headship of the husband. Now, in this message today, this message is not intended to explore how this happens, nor is it to explore all of the challenges that go along with this. Perhaps that's for another message. Perhaps it's for your quiet prayer and contemplation with God. The purpose of this message is just to evoke within a wife and a husband, and the wives we're speaking of now, this is to evoke in you the grandeur, the dignity, the divine nature of your role.

What a role it is!

And so before we move on to the husbands, I just want to give you wives three aspects of Christ's submissive response to the Father that we can glean from this, that will be for your future contemplation. Perhaps one of the aspects, the first of three aspects that we can glean from this, is number one, is this. Christ-like submission is a willing act. That's number one, to glean from Jesus Christ's example here. Christ-like submission is a willing act. It is the consideration for that which is the good, the broader good, more important than the individual self. I mean, this is a high endeavor to consider. Christ had every right to divine glory, yet he willingly humbled himself in this way.

Does this mean that the wife should surrender her conscience or silently accept sin? No. Christ's submission to the Father's righteous will was not evil. All right? There's lots of things to consider here when you consider Christ's willing submission, this willing act. Okay, and again, I want to raise your expectations to this and allow for you future study here. The second aspect maybe to consider wives is this. Number two, submission embraces a servant-hearted attitude. That's for sure. That's for sure. I don't know if words could express the depth of that sentence. Submission in this way embraces a servant-hearted attitude. There, Philippians 2 verse 7 emphasizes that Christ took the form of a servant. His submission was expressed through humble service. So, this is absolutely the posture of the heart. It is the willingness to support, encourage, respect her husband, and her submission is ultimately, it ultimately becomes an act of worship and obedience to God the Father and Jesus Christ. That's who you're being obedient to ultimately here. Again, we could spend a whole sermon on this, what is required of this kind of servant-hearted attitude.

But I'll tell you this principle. A submissive wife is not a powerless woman. She is a woman who willingly uses her strength, her wisdom, and her gifts in a servant-hearted way for the glory of Jesus Christ and God the Father.

All right, the third aspect to consider in the role of the wife is, number three, submission trusts God's order even when it's costly. That's another true statement. Submission trusts God's order even when it's costly. In fact, Christ's submission ultimately led him to the point of death. He humbled himself, verse eight, by becoming obedient to the point of death. So we know that this can be costly. The role of a wife can be very challenging, extremely challenging, very difficult. Often it's very costly. But if you're in one of those moments, we see Christ trusted the Father even during those difficult times. And there will be moments in a marriage when the wife may experience great costs when she's fulfilling this role.

But in those moments, it is the choice to respect the biblical order that God has established, trusting God even when you don't feel like you have control of every outcome. There's much more we could say about that. And I think, before we move on to the husbands, I think one of the biggest challenges to acknowledge is that the wife is bending herself to an imperfect husband. That is a challenge. That is a challenge. And all the implications that come from that. So husbands, I wanted to go first with the wives because I want you to feel the weight of all that God is calling the wives to excel to in this role. So husbands, that should put you in an absolute humble posture, a posture of humility. And here Paul then turns to the husbands, Ephesians 5, verse 25 through 31. He turns to the husbands and writes to the husbands. Next here.

Here it is, Ephesians 5, verse 25. Again, husbands, here is the word husbands for you to receive. Love, love your wives. Any kind of love, love your wives as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her. That he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of the water by the word. That he might present her to himself a glorious church without spot or wrinkle or any such thing. That she should be holy without blemish. I hope you're making the connections here, men, husbands. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. No one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of his body and of his flesh and of his bones. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother, be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. Okay, husbands, first and foremost, again, understand that you're living with a wife who's seeking to fulfill her high call as a wife. Husbands must understand that the wife is trying to fulfill the role of how a called believer responds to Jesus Christ. She's endeavoring to bend her will to yours to display how Jesus Christ submitted his will to the father, and that understanding should move you deeply. You know, Peter speaks about the wife as the weaker vessel. Just so you know, Peter wasn't speaking of weaker in that she can't carry as much lumber up a ladder. Okay, that's not what he's referring to. Peter, when he spoke those words and referred to the wife as the weaker vessel, he's speaking of she is voluntarily putting her in a position, herself in a position of vulnerability. And in that way, she's placing herself in a very vulnerable position as a weaker vessel. Not that she's weaker, she's voluntarily putting herself in that position. So Peter goes on to say, you must dwell with her in understanding. So we want to understand the role of the wives. And as you contemplate that, husbands, I want to give you three types of love as revealed here in Ephesians 5 that the husbands are to display to their wives. I hope you're ready. Okay, three types of love. Now, wives, you might be listening and receive his high call from God here as well. Three types of love that husbands to express to the wife. Number one is sacrificial love. I think that's clear here. Number one is sacrificial love. Ephesians 5 verse 25, husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. Husbands, do you know how much Christ loved the bride? Well, that's the kind of love we're reaching for. So much so he gave himself to her. You know, when I go through counseling sessions, and even in my own heart, in my own experience, every time I hear the husband focus on, or even when I have this arise in my own heart, whenever we focus on what we're not getting out of the marriage, you can be assured in that moment we're not expressing sacrificial love. Okay, because sacrificial love gives irrespective of response. Sacrificial love gives irrespective of cost.

Because Christ gave himself and expressed that love prior to the bride's response. And it was, in fact, the grace and the love which moved the bride to himself.

So, in both circumstances, and particularly for the husbands, fulfill your role. Fulfill your role. And don't get into this space of, well, she, the minute you say, well, she doesn't do or did not do, you're called to sacrificial love. Irregardless. Irregardless of whatever you may say in this moment. Irregardless of response or how you're being treated. Sacrificial love.

And I will say one extra thing about sacrificial love before we move on to point two and three. One of the things that we see most often in the husband role, we find that love is replaced by management. Where rather than the husband holding her up as priority in everything, second to God, we find that she is placed as simply part of the other obligations. Love has been replaced by management. So, we have a bunch of husband managers who think in terms of just keeping everything in order. So, you have your wife business, you have your house business, you have your work business, let's keep everything in order, you know. So, therefore, a husband can be very organized and orderly. You can have a very orderly household, but it is a loveless household as well. It's an easy, it's an easy thing for us to fall into when sacrificial love is being called for. She's your everything. She is your everything.

Well, the second, if that's sacrificial love, the second for husbands is purposeful love, purposeful love. And I think we see this example by Jesus Christ. Here in purposeful love, here in Ephesians 5 verse 26 and 27, Christ loved the church that and that He may sanctify her, that the love gave itself to the desire to sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of the water by the Word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she should be holy without blemish. This is purposeful love. I often tell those new couples going into counseling, are y'all praying together? And I direct my attention to the soon-to-be husband. Are you praying for her? Are you reading the Bible to her? Are you leading the Bible study? Are you washing her with the water by the Word?

Are you taking that lead? Do you have purposeful love for her? Did you, husbands, did you wake up this morning and say to yourself, how can I make my wife glorious today? Well, this is, if you didn't, it's okay. I didn't either. But this is the part of the purposeful love. If we don't express it verbally, it should be in our hearts.

The purpose that she, my purpose, is to make my wife all that she can be for God, so that one day she'll stand before God glorious. Glorious. That's part of my purpose in life. Love her with purpose. All right, third and final type of love that a husband is to express to the wife is indivisible love. Indivisible love. That might come to us here in Ephesians 5, verse 28 through 30. Husbands ought to love, verse 28, their own wives as their own bodies. Indivisible. One. He who loves his wife loves himself here. Verse 29, he does not hate his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it just as the Lord does the church. There. So let's stop there. So this is not merely, you know, you kind of take care of your body, you know, you make sure you clean and smell good, and so you kind of take care of her. No, this is this is much deeper. Indivisible love. You cannot live without her. She's your very breath in the morning. If you wake up before her and you see her next to you, you just thank God for her. It's... she's part of you. When she's gone for a while, you you feel like something's missing, you know. Very deep here. You're one in all aspects. Indivisible love. And it's to mirror that indivisibility, the oneness between God, the Father, and Jesus Christ. So this is a call. Indivisible love is a call to bring your wife into every discussion, into every decision, to be in harmony with with everything that happens in life. Do you just as God, the Father, and Jesus Christ are one, they have indivisible love for each other.

And by the way, husbands, she is to help you fulfill your high call. So it would... it's even practical to bring her into everything and to listen to her. And if you're like me and my marriage, you take her advice and you go with with her thoughts more often than not. This isn't about who's winning arguments. It is a oneness thing. It is oneness. Listen to her. Make decisions together. Consider that you're one with her and God has given her as a beautiful gift to you. Again, it's in direct relationship with how God and Jesus Christ were one. Two individuals, yet one in harmony in everything. And we have this nourishing and cherishing here in verse 29. That goes well beyond just taking care of her needs. You're to cherish her. Think of how can I nourish her and cherish her? How can I make her feel special today? How can I let her know that how much I love her? I'm so glad we're together.

So husbands, just like the wives, there's much more to think through on this. Again, that's not the the purpose of this message. The purpose of this message is for both the wife role and the husband role, is just to evoke in us the the higher level of beauty and all that this represents. And I hope you feel the weight of it, and I hope you feel the encouragement and the excitement to display this to the watching world. Well, Paul finishes up this whole instruction there in verse 33 again. Nevertheless, let each one of you particular so love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband's. And again, there's much more we could say, but before we close today, or as we close, I just want to put forth one simple thought. Never allow something God has made sacred to become ordinary to you. Husbands, look at your wife with new eyes again. Not merely as a woman who shares your home, not merely as a person who you share responsibilities with, but look at her as the one who God entrusted to your care and for you to love. And just ask God to deepen your love for her so that she knows how much she is cherished. Wives, look at your husbands with eyes, new eyes, afresh. Look at the man beside you, and remember he too is being shaped by God. Would you encourage him, pray for him, believe what God can make of him? See the potential in him. Let him know that he doesn't walk through life alone, and that you're beside him, and you're looking forward for him to become everything that God has called him to be. And ultimately, ultimately, may the world look upon our marriages and see the love of God and the love of the Son, and may they see that the love of Christ for the Church. For these are the two great mirrors of marriage.